How Summer let go of trying to control her sleep and regained control over her life (#58)
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 11 ก.ย. 2024
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When Summer experienced consecutive nights of insomnia, sleep started to consume her life. She started taking time off work and she began endlessly researching sleep. Summer felt that if she could get rid of anxiety and stress things would improve - but this led to even more of a struggle as Summer went to war with her mind.
Sleep became an obsession. It was all she could think about. Summer felt as though she was losing control. She felt helpless. She started to blame herself. It was becoming increasingly difficult for her to live the life she wanted to live.
The more Summer tried to fix her sleep, the more she seemed to struggle. Sleep-related rules and rituals didn’t work. Changing her diet didn’t work. Changing the temperature in her room didn’t work. Trying to eliminate blue light didn’t work.
Ultimately, what worked for Summer was not trying. She realized that she couldn’t control sleep. And, by no longer trying to make sleep happen, she started to struggle less with sleep and she had more energy to live the life she wanted to live.
Summer also started to be kinder to herself. She stopped trying to fight or avoid the thoughts her mind would generate as it did its job of looking out for her. She acknowledged her thoughts and feelings and allowed them to come and go. She expanded the focus of her attention. She spent more time with friends. She lived by her values.
Summer stopped trying to control sleep and she stopped trying to control her thoughts and feelings. As a result, sleep no longer controls Summer’s life. Thoughts and feelings no longer control Summer’s life. Summer controls her own life.
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All content found on the Insomnia Coach TH-cam channel is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. The statements and opinions expressed by guests are their own and are not necessarily endorsed by Insomnia Coach LLC. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Negative feelings can be made worse by letting them run amuk and letting them control you. Focusing on something else can mute them or even make them go away. In this way, we can control negative thoughts or feelings. For instance, thinking about gratitude instead. So I don't know if it's completely true that you can't control them. You can certainly manage them to a great extent.
I guess this might come down to how we define "control". I would say we can always control how we respond to thoughts and feelings but I am less convinced that we can directly or permanently control when they show up or what they might be.
Man I relate to everything summer said!
You are not alone!
Hello Martin can I please have your opinion on this? I already wrote this on another video of yours but I’m rewriting it here in case it didn’t reach you.
I subscribed to your program a while back and it helped. It seemed to focus on making your bed the primary place to tie the idea of sleep. I haven’t travelled since quarantine and seem to have developed agoraphobia I might travel next month and worried about sleep. I really think my insomnia in the past that happened in lockdown made me fear flying to another unpredictable place. I would like some help
Agoraphobia isn't my area of expertise, unfortunately. What might be worth exploring is the workability of doing less of the things that matter to you in an attempt to fight or avoid certain thoughts and feelings. Does that get you closer to the life you want to live? Does that permanently eliminate difficult thoughts and feelings so they never come back again? If not, perhaps acting in ways that are important to you (even in the presence of difficult thoughts and feelings) might be a more workable approach. As always, you are the expert on you!
@@InsomniaCoach really solid advice thanks for the input! However it’s not agoraphobia as much as it’s the fear of insomnia returning and not letting me enjoy my vacation. As if I didn’t have that fear I wouldn’t be agoraphobic in the first place.
How many times a night is it normal to wake up? Ive been waking up 4 to 5 times every night. Should I consult my doctor or something for a sleep study?
Waking during the night is a normal part of sleep - short periods of wakefulness can happen as often as 3-6 times per hour in normal sleep, with those awakenings being so short they are usually not noticeable or memorable. If you are a loud snorer, wake with a sudden gasp of breath, or are concerned about your awakenings, I would suggest talking to your doctor.
It is incredibile the amount of control she exerted and yet it remained just insomnia while others, like myself quickly developed in an anxious depressive episode, with panick attacks, depersonalizatin etc. I was given 1 ssri 1 snri 2 benzos and 1 sleeping pill to recover. Not that I wish that to anybody of course, just saying I noticed this 2 type of people this recovery stories, yours and daniel's, thoes with just insomnia and those with insomnia and anxiety and depression.
Everyone is different - and yet insomnia from person to person is often virtually identical.
I'm not sleeping for 4 days but I'm taking rest for 6 to 7 hours at night. Is it enough to stay healthy in long term ? I don't want to take any medication. Is sleeplessness will effect my brain ? Please reply
Sleeplessness will not effect your brain
If you give your body the opportunity to generate enough sleep, it will always generate - at the very least - the minimum amount of sleep it needs.
I can only seem to achieve 20-30 minute micro sleeps followed by an hour or two of wakefulness throughout a night. Help.
How much sleep would you say you average on a typical night and what time do you go to bed at night and what time do you get out of bed in the morning to start your day?
@@InsomniaCoach 10pm is when I get to bed and my alarm is set for 4:30a which I never sleep to. I would say maybe 2.5 hours a night.
I fear disturbing dreams. I think it is anxiety.
Fear and anxiety is natural and normal and often difficult. It's when we understandably try to fight or avoid those natural and normal and difficult feelings that we can set ourselves up for more struggle and more difficulty.