I was an extremely people pleaser and then I stopped, sending me straight into be a narcissistic person. I will change for myself and the people around me
No,no,no I used to be a people pleaser and then when I tried to stop and be 'selfish' in a way to better myself. That selfishness that was supposed to be for me to be able to say no and appreciate my opinion turned into me not caring or appreciating others in general.
i recommend the following two books: The Tao Te Ching - teaches you how to be truly humble, among other things The Four Agreements - teaches you how to respect others and yourself
Dr. Hawkins I am a 36 year old man you have awoken me with your video all this time I never noticed I was a narcissistic person in my relationship I didn't know how to put the words of what I was going through but I seriously am wanting to get help and I need it I'm about to lose my 16-year relationship and I want to fix things what do and how can I heal the people I hurt😢
Here is a resource you may find helpful. www.marriagerecoverycenter.com/media/Getting-to-the-Core.pdf The fact that you are aware and desire to change is a huge step in the right direction. Science has shown our brains can be rewired and therapy can help you make the changes you desires.
How I’d love for my husband to have this break. He shows no care or understanding for what I have been telling him for years that his abuse is pushing me away and now I have little to no emotional connection with him. Can I ask, did your partner tell you that she was done with the relationship for a while? If yes, describe your feeling from then and now? Thank you.
Start with one thought. Say this instead. I know where to start. I know how to change. That will give you the clear answer you are looking for. I know cause I had to start changing the way I thought about things. Also, Be decisive on what you want. There was sang, my father and mother used to say. Bad association spoils useful habits. Love to you.
So is the recovery a 12 step program? I'm in narcotics anonymous and I learned in my 4th step that I have narcissistic traits and once I learned that I went to work on myself. I learned my part in any given situation and learned to put myself in the other person's shoes and look at what my behaviors did to them. A big part of my recovery is to understand rather than being understood.
Our recovery program is not the 12-step program per se, but similarly it does focus on realizing and acknowledging how one's behaviors have harmed others. Thanks for sharing
Does your past misdeeds plague your dreams and your waking existence? Or is guilt not part of the process? I just don’t understand how someone who has wrought so much pain through their lives how a recovery could be possible without deep, deep self loathing.
@@drdavidbhawkins After suffering from narcissist tendencies most of my adult life, I've damaged the most important relationship in my life and am seeking help. I'm hoping to enroll in your Comprehensive Core program soon.
i thought this video was about how to stop being a narc and not how to decide if you want to put up with the narcissist. as a narcissist im disappointed
Do narcissists just wake up one day and come to a realization that they are a narcissist? And from there, would they even want to change? And then if they decide to change, will their efforts to change make them a more normal person?
The realization for me came more over time. And I’ve just now came to accepting it. It’s hitting me like a ton of bricks right now because I’ve messaged up so many good relationships and hurt so many people. I’m hoping there’s a light at the end of the tunnel, but I’m struggling to believe there is.
I met a girl who was behaving really strange and I couldn’t work it out, breadcrumbs, triangulation etc I looked it up - realized they were and I was showing lots of traits myself. I honestly thought I was cold and ruthless but perfectly well adjusted and fine. Literally blew my mind - problem is most stuff on TH-cam is about recovering from them not trying to heal myself
There are many theories on the origins, but definitely arrested healthy emotional development due to unhealthy role models and trauma are some of the big ones.
Is narcissism contagious? Like reactive abuse? Obviously, it's still abuse and maybe healthier boundaries are in order... But... Can people get like more hormronaly narcissistic at different times of their life, like when PMSing?
When a person does not have a healthy mechanism for coping with constant ongoing abuse, they can have a reaction that is also abusive. But not always, it depends, some people explode, or it can cause people to shut down.
You literally said the same thing 4 times. How invested someone is in treatment determines the success of said treatment, sure. But i want to know about treatment, like your video title says
All fine and well! How to stop a narcist from blocking you from approaching your lovely dad which is in the hospital again! And keeps on blocking his health ? I don’t see any help in your video? Please urgently help x
I always wondered if a reformed narcissist has to struggle with all the harm they have caused. Like the phrase “How can you live with yourself?” Are reformed narcissists just mired in regret and grief having lived such horrible lives?
I was an extremely people pleaser and then I stopped, sending me straight into be a narcissistic person. I will change for myself and the people around me
That is the best reason to change. Because you want something different for yourself.
Thank you
Wait, you can be both a "people pleaser" and a narcissist?
No,no,no I used to be a people pleaser and then when I tried to stop and be 'selfish' in a way to better myself. That selfishness that was supposed to be for me to be able to say no and appreciate my opinion turned into me not caring or appreciating others in general.
@@IyayiOkundia-Agho-rj5py I think this has also happened with me
i recommend the following two books:
The Tao Te Ching - teaches you how to be truly humble, among other things
The Four Agreements - teaches you how to respect others and yourself
Dr. Hawkins I am a 36 year old man you have awoken me with your video all this time I never noticed I was a narcissistic person in my relationship I didn't know how to put the words of what I was going through but I seriously am wanting to get help and I need it I'm about to lose my 16-year relationship and I want to fix things what do and how can I heal the people I hurt😢
Here is a resource you may find helpful. www.marriagerecoverycenter.com/media/Getting-to-the-Core.pdf
The fact that you are aware and desire to change is a huge step in the right direction. Science has shown our brains can be rewired and therapy can help you make the changes you desires.
I wish you the best for you and your love one 💕 hope it works out
How I’d love for my husband to have this break. He shows no care or understanding for what I have been telling him for years that his abuse is pushing me away and now I have little to no emotional connection with him. Can I ask, did your partner tell you that she was done with the relationship for a while? If yes, describe your feeling from then and now? Thank you.
Thank you, Dr Hawkins for the information.
Beautiful message- thank you sir for this powerful and insightful reminder! 🙏🏻👍😊
Idk where to start I don’t know how to change
Start with one thought. Say this instead. I know where to start. I know how to change.
That will give you the clear answer you are looking for.
I know cause I had to start changing the way I thought about things.
Also, Be decisive on what you want.
There was sang, my father and mother used to say.
Bad association spoils useful habits.
Love to you.
So is the recovery a 12 step program? I'm in narcotics anonymous and I learned in my 4th step that I have narcissistic traits and once I learned that I went to work on myself. I learned my part in any given situation and learned to put myself in the other person's shoes and look at what my behaviors did to them. A big part of my recovery is to understand rather than being understood.
Our recovery program is not the 12-step program per se, but similarly it does focus on realizing and acknowledging how one's behaviors have harmed others. Thanks for sharing
You should be understanding but you should also have room to be understood we all do
Does your past misdeeds plague your dreams and your waking existence? Or is guilt not part of the process?
I just don’t understand how someone who has wrought so much pain through their lives how a recovery could be possible without deep, deep self loathing.
@@drdavidbhawkins After suffering from narcissist tendencies most of my adult life, I've damaged the most important relationship in my life and am seeking help. I'm hoping to enroll in your Comprehensive Core program soon.
I have autism , and people have always chalked up how i act to that , but if im honest with myself , im a narcissist
I feel the exact same way and it's why I'm here trying to find a video about how to get better
Sometime it also depends on how they really want to change or not, because some knew they are narcissist but still deny they are not. By Amelia
i thought this video was about how to stop being a narc and not how to decide if you want to put up with the narcissist. as a narcissist im disappointed
I feel like this is only telling someone how to tell if someone is getting better, not showing someone how to get better
We have many videos on what it takes for someone with narcissistic traits to heal. Here is one: th-cam.com/video/NrxuhbrUzkM/w-d-xo.html
Thank you so much Dr Hawkins,for you sincerely, helpful information 🙏🙏🙏,
You're very welcome, thanks for your feedback and hope you find our channel helpful
I think I might be narcissistic, but I recognize it, and maybe it’s just patterns that have been hammered into me by my narcissistic father?
Raised myself I was neglected always had management positions and I can’t be inferior in a relationship. Help
Do narcissists just wake up one day and come to a realization that they are a narcissist? And from there, would they even want to change? And then if they decide to change, will their efforts to change make them a more normal person?
Yeah well for me
The realization for me came more over time. And I’ve just now came to accepting it. It’s hitting me like a ton of bricks right now because I’ve messaged up so many good relationships and hurt so many people. I’m hoping there’s a light at the end of the tunnel, but I’m struggling to believe there is.
I met a girl who was behaving really strange and I couldn’t work it out, breadcrumbs, triangulation etc
I looked it up - realized they were and I was showing lots of traits myself.
I honestly thought I was cold and ruthless but perfectly well adjusted and fine.
Literally blew my mind - problem is most stuff on TH-cam is about recovering from them not trying to heal myself
How does a child grow up into a narcissist person? Children don’t know it they learn it from someone in the home
There are many theories on the origins, but definitely arrested healthy emotional development due to unhealthy role models and trauma are some of the big ones.
How do I find therapy in my area for Narcissism
What do I need next to do for recovery
Can I get some therapy from you ? I’ve been trying to understand myself and why I am the way I am
Is narcissism contagious? Like reactive abuse?
Obviously, it's still abuse and maybe healthier boundaries are in order... But...
Can people get like more hormronaly narcissistic at different times of their life, like when PMSing?
When a person does not have a healthy mechanism for coping with constant ongoing abuse, they can have a reaction that is also abusive. But not always, it depends, some people explode, or it can cause people to shut down.
Thank you for your thoughtful reply.
Whats the contrary of people pleaser? Is it narcisism?
I missed introspection ,professor...
A A doesn’t help everyone! It works if you work it! My X was sober from alcohol for 20 plus years but was unable to be honest with me for 13 years
You literally said the same thing 4 times. How invested someone is in treatment determines the success of said treatment, sure. But i want to know about treatment, like your video title says
bIH pLAyb0i cARti a nARcIssISt, tH3n iM a NArCisSiSt
bruh
All fine and well! How to stop a narcist from blocking you from approaching your lovely dad which is in the hospital again! And keeps on blocking his health ? I don’t see any help in your video? Please urgently help x
He lost me when first point was moneyyyyy… of course
?
doesn’t really say at all how to stop being a narcissist like title states
I think it is a long difficult process. But starts with them being invested in treatment.
Treat them like the child they mentally are. The End.
You dont... tell how to stop... cause what is the recovery?
This guy honestly didn't know why a person who is sober for 17 still goes to meetings? And he's a therapist? That's a red flag.
i think it was a metaphor. keep revisiting whether or not you're on course.
I always wondered if a reformed narcissist has to struggle with all the harm they have caused. Like the phrase “How can you live with yourself?”
Are reformed narcissists just mired in regret and grief having lived such horrible lives?
Yes