Once I realized I was a narcissist, I found the root cause to a lot other emotional and psychological ailments, including drug addiction, sex addiction, and manic depression. From my personal experience, once you genuinely acknowledge you're a narcissist the two main things to do to heal are: 1-starve your ego. 2-allow your inner child to heal.
I was an extremely people pleaser and then I stopped, sending me straight into be a narcissistic person. I will change for myself and the people around me
No,no,no I used to be a people pleaser and then when I tried to stop and be 'selfish' in a way to better myself. That selfishness that was supposed to be for me to be able to say no and appreciate my opinion turned into me not caring or appreciating others in general.
i recommend the following two books: The Tao Te Ching - teaches you how to be truly humble, among other things The Four Agreements - teaches you how to respect others and yourself
There are thousands on videos on internet, where people are suggesting others to remain vigilant about narcissists around them and that they need to run away from such people but nobody talks about the situation of the narcissists because they are the first ones who suffer because of themselves only. If you've realised that you're a narcissistic personality, practice humbleness and look at others around you as humans too. That's the first thing you need to do. Be humble and have empathy for those who are involved in you, emotionally and physically. And stop reading self help books. They are 🐂shit. Maintain your own journal regarding how you are developing into a newer self. Let that journal become a book for those who seek care for their narcissistic personality. Pray for yourself. And have mercy on yourself. Good luck to me and others who've suffered themselves on account of our narcissistic attitude. Do not consider yourself special. Make others feel special about you. God bless us all!
Dr. Hawkins I am a 36 year old man you have awoken me with your video all this time I never noticed I was a narcissistic person in my relationship I didn't know how to put the words of what I was going through but I seriously am wanting to get help and I need it I'm about to lose my 16-year relationship and I want to fix things what do and how can I heal the people I hurt😢
Here is a resource you may find helpful. www.marriagerecoverycenter.com/media/Getting-to-the-Core.pdf The fact that you are aware and desire to change is a huge step in the right direction. Science has shown our brains can be rewired and therapy can help you make the changes you desires.
How I’d love for my husband to have this break. He shows no care or understanding for what I have been telling him for years that his abuse is pushing me away and now I have little to no emotional connection with him. Can I ask, did your partner tell you that she was done with the relationship for a while? If yes, describe your feeling from then and now? Thank you.
The Little Shaman podcast channel is changing my life with the detailed and in-depth narcissism series. Truly incredible. You will recognize yourself and why you are the way you are. We just need to be educated about normal versus us behaviors and she lays it out so that we can finally open our eyes, forgive ourselves, and change. You can't change as long as you are not aware of why you are compelled to narcissism.
I quit my career because I was using it for ego. I am special in my own way-just like everyone else. Opinion is not fact, and nobody CARES what mine is. I'm healing, invested, calming down, recognizing the patters I have had, and which behaviors I am beginning to lose. It feels great. Calm. Comfortable. Just me. No phony. I no longer need flattery or validation. I am finally comfortable in my skin again. Been over 30 years and YES! I CARE! And nobody can stop me. 😊❤
Start with one thought. Say this instead. I know where to start. I know how to change. That will give you the clear answer you are looking for. I know cause I had to start changing the way I thought about things. Also, Be decisive on what you want. There was sang, my father and mother used to say. Bad association spoils useful habits. Love to you.
@@drdavidbhawkins But your title specifically says "How to Stop Being Narcissist. A title like "How to Know when a Narcissist is Genuinely Trying to Get Better" might be a better fit for this particular video. Gonna go check out the link above now though.
So is the recovery a 12 step program? I'm in narcotics anonymous and I learned in my 4th step that I have narcissistic traits and once I learned that I went to work on myself. I learned my part in any given situation and learned to put myself in the other person's shoes and look at what my behaviors did to them. A big part of my recovery is to understand rather than being understood.
Our recovery program is not the 12-step program per se, but similarly it does focus on realizing and acknowledging how one's behaviors have harmed others. Thanks for sharing
Does your past misdeeds plague your dreams and your waking existence? Or is guilt not part of the process? I just don’t understand how someone who has wrought so much pain through their lives how a recovery could be possible without deep, deep self loathing.
@@drdavidbhawkins After suffering from narcissist tendencies most of my adult life, I've damaged the most important relationship in my life and am seeking help. I'm hoping to enroll in your Comprehensive Core program soon.
Do narcissists just wake up one day and come to a realization that they are a narcissist? And from there, would they even want to change? And then if they decide to change, will their efforts to change make them a more normal person?
The realization for me came more over time. And I’ve just now came to accepting it. It’s hitting me like a ton of bricks right now because I’ve messaged up so many good relationships and hurt so many people. I’m hoping there’s a light at the end of the tunnel, but I’m struggling to believe there is.
I met a girl who was behaving really strange and I couldn’t work it out, breadcrumbs, triangulation etc I looked it up - realized they were and I was showing lots of traits myself. I honestly thought I was cold and ruthless but perfectly well adjusted and fine. Literally blew my mind - problem is most stuff on TH-cam is about recovering from them not trying to heal myself
Persistence pays off its like any addiction give yourself reminders every day because like addiction you can slip back anytime. But give yourself credit when you achieve goals stay humble. @sikederk7149
i thought this video was about how to stop being a narc and not how to decide if you want to put up with the narcissist. as a narcissist im disappointed
There are many theories on the origins, but definitely arrested healthy emotional development due to unhealthy role models and trauma are some of the big ones.
Is narcissism contagious? Like reactive abuse? Obviously, it's still abuse and maybe healthier boundaries are in order... But... Can people get like more hormronaly narcissistic at different times of their life, like when PMSing?
When a person does not have a healthy mechanism for coping with constant ongoing abuse, they can have a reaction that is also abusive. But not always, it depends, some people explode, or it can cause people to shut down.
All fine and well! How to stop a narcist from blocking you from approaching your lovely dad which is in the hospital again! And keeps on blocking his health ? I don’t see any help in your video? Please urgently help x
You literally said the same thing 4 times. How invested someone is in treatment determines the success of said treatment, sure. But i want to know about treatment, like your video title says
I always wondered if a reformed narcissist has to struggle with all the harm they have caused. Like the phrase “How can you live with yourself?” Are reformed narcissists just mired in regret and grief having lived such horrible lives?
Once I realized I was a narcissist, I found the root cause to a lot other emotional and psychological ailments, including drug addiction, sex addiction, and manic depression.
From my personal experience, once you genuinely acknowledge you're a narcissist the two main things to do to heal are:
1-starve your ego.
2-allow your inner child to heal.
I was an extremely people pleaser and then I stopped, sending me straight into be a narcissistic person. I will change for myself and the people around me
That is the best reason to change. Because you want something different for yourself.
Thank you
Wait, you can be both a "people pleaser" and a narcissist?
No,no,no I used to be a people pleaser and then when I tried to stop and be 'selfish' in a way to better myself. That selfishness that was supposed to be for me to be able to say no and appreciate my opinion turned into me not caring or appreciating others in general.
@@IyayiOkundia-Agho-rj5py I think this has also happened with me
i recommend the following two books:
The Tao Te Ching - teaches you how to be truly humble, among other things
The Four Agreements - teaches you how to respect others and yourself
There are thousands on videos on internet, where people are suggesting others to remain vigilant about narcissists around them and that they need to run away from such people but nobody talks about the situation of the narcissists because they are the first ones who suffer because of themselves only. If you've realised that you're a narcissistic personality, practice humbleness and look at others around you as humans too. That's the first thing you need to do. Be humble and have empathy for those who are involved in you, emotionally and physically. And stop reading self help books. They are 🐂shit. Maintain your own journal regarding how you are developing into a newer self. Let that journal become a book for those who seek care for their narcissistic personality.
Pray for yourself. And have mercy on yourself. Good luck to me and others who've suffered themselves on account of our narcissistic attitude.
Do not consider yourself special. Make others feel special about you. God bless us all!
I'm learning that it's all about others not me
Dr. Hawkins I am a 36 year old man you have awoken me with your video all this time I never noticed I was a narcissistic person in my relationship I didn't know how to put the words of what I was going through but I seriously am wanting to get help and I need it I'm about to lose my 16-year relationship and I want to fix things what do and how can I heal the people I hurt😢
Here is a resource you may find helpful. www.marriagerecoverycenter.com/media/Getting-to-the-Core.pdf
The fact that you are aware and desire to change is a huge step in the right direction. Science has shown our brains can be rewired and therapy can help you make the changes you desires.
I wish you the best for you and your love one 💕 hope it works out
How I’d love for my husband to have this break. He shows no care or understanding for what I have been telling him for years that his abuse is pushing me away and now I have little to no emotional connection with him. Can I ask, did your partner tell you that she was done with the relationship for a while? If yes, describe your feeling from then and now? Thank you.
The Little Shaman podcast channel is changing my life with the detailed and in-depth narcissism series. Truly incredible. You will recognize yourself and why you are the way you are. We just need to be educated about normal versus us behaviors and she lays it out so that we can finally open our eyes, forgive ourselves, and change. You can't change as long as you are not aware of why you are compelled to narcissism.
I quit my career because I was using it for ego. I am special in my own way-just like everyone else. Opinion is not fact, and nobody CARES what mine is. I'm healing, invested, calming down, recognizing the patters I have had, and which behaviors I am beginning to lose. It feels great. Calm. Comfortable. Just me. No phony. I no longer need flattery or validation. I am finally comfortable in my skin again. Been over 30 years and YES! I CARE! And nobody can stop me. 😊❤
Idk where to start I don’t know how to change
Start with one thought. Say this instead. I know where to start. I know how to change.
That will give you the clear answer you are looking for.
I know cause I had to start changing the way I thought about things.
Also, Be decisive on what you want.
There was sang, my father and mother used to say.
Bad association spoils useful habits.
Love to you.
Thank you, Dr Hawkins for the information.
Beautiful message- thank you sir for this powerful and insightful reminder! 🙏🏻👍😊
I feel like this is only telling someone how to tell if someone is getting better, not showing someone how to get better
We have many videos on what it takes for someone with narcissistic traits to heal. Here is one: th-cam.com/video/NrxuhbrUzkM/w-d-xo.html
@@drdavidbhawkins But your title specifically says "How to Stop Being Narcissist. A title like "How to Know when a Narcissist is Genuinely Trying to Get Better" might be a better fit for this particular video. Gonna go check out the link above now though.
So is the recovery a 12 step program? I'm in narcotics anonymous and I learned in my 4th step that I have narcissistic traits and once I learned that I went to work on myself. I learned my part in any given situation and learned to put myself in the other person's shoes and look at what my behaviors did to them. A big part of my recovery is to understand rather than being understood.
Our recovery program is not the 12-step program per se, but similarly it does focus on realizing and acknowledging how one's behaviors have harmed others. Thanks for sharing
You should be understanding but you should also have room to be understood we all do
Does your past misdeeds plague your dreams and your waking existence? Or is guilt not part of the process?
I just don’t understand how someone who has wrought so much pain through their lives how a recovery could be possible without deep, deep self loathing.
@@drdavidbhawkins After suffering from narcissist tendencies most of my adult life, I've damaged the most important relationship in my life and am seeking help. I'm hoping to enroll in your Comprehensive Core program soon.
Raised myself I was neglected always had management positions and I can’t be inferior in a relationship. Help
I have autism , and people have always chalked up how i act to that , but if im honest with myself , im a narcissist
I feel the exact same way and it's why I'm here trying to find a video about how to get better
Do narcissists just wake up one day and come to a realization that they are a narcissist? And from there, would they even want to change? And then if they decide to change, will their efforts to change make them a more normal person?
Yeah well for me
The realization for me came more over time. And I’ve just now came to accepting it. It’s hitting me like a ton of bricks right now because I’ve messaged up so many good relationships and hurt so many people. I’m hoping there’s a light at the end of the tunnel, but I’m struggling to believe there is.
I met a girl who was behaving really strange and I couldn’t work it out, breadcrumbs, triangulation etc
I looked it up - realized they were and I was showing lots of traits myself.
I honestly thought I was cold and ruthless but perfectly well adjusted and fine.
Literally blew my mind - problem is most stuff on TH-cam is about recovering from them not trying to heal myself
Persistence pays off its like any addiction give yourself reminders every day because like addiction you can slip back anytime.
But give yourself credit when you achieve goals stay humble.
@sikederk7149
Sometime it also depends on how they really want to change or not, because some knew they are narcissist but still deny they are not. By Amelia
i thought this video was about how to stop being a narc and not how to decide if you want to put up with the narcissist. as a narcissist im disappointed
How does a child grow up into a narcissist person? Children don’t know it they learn it from someone in the home
There are many theories on the origins, but definitely arrested healthy emotional development due to unhealthy role models and trauma are some of the big ones.
I think I might be narcissistic, but I recognize it, and maybe it’s just patterns that have been hammered into me by my narcissistic father?
Thank you so much Dr Hawkins,for you sincerely, helpful information 🙏🙏🙏,
You're very welcome, thanks for your feedback and hope you find our channel helpful
Having narc traits in this world seems normal to me its way it is not all have addictions going on people i know do
What do I need next to do for recovery
There’s AAA meetings for recovering narcissists?
How do I find therapy in my area for Narcissism
Whats the contrary of people pleaser? Is it narcisism?
Can I get some therapy from you ? I’ve been trying to understand myself and why I am the way I am
So to stop is be a people pleaser give more until im left of nothing dont think so
Is narcissism contagious? Like reactive abuse?
Obviously, it's still abuse and maybe healthier boundaries are in order... But...
Can people get like more hormronaly narcissistic at different times of their life, like when PMSing?
When a person does not have a healthy mechanism for coping with constant ongoing abuse, they can have a reaction that is also abusive. But not always, it depends, some people explode, or it can cause people to shut down.
Thank you for your thoughtful reply.
I missed introspection ,professor...
A A doesn’t help everyone! It works if you work it! My X was sober from alcohol for 20 plus years but was unable to be honest with me for 13 years
Treat them like the child they mentally are. The End.
bIH pLAyb0i cARti a nARcIssISt, tH3n iM a NArCisSiSt
bruh
All fine and well! How to stop a narcist from blocking you from approaching your lovely dad which is in the hospital again! And keeps on blocking his health ? I don’t see any help in your video? Please urgently help x
You literally said the same thing 4 times. How invested someone is in treatment determines the success of said treatment, sure. But i want to know about treatment, like your video title says
This guy honestly didn't know why a person who is sober for 17 still goes to meetings? And he's a therapist? That's a red flag.
i think it was a metaphor. keep revisiting whether or not you're on course.
doesn’t really say at all how to stop being a narcissist like title states
I think it is a long difficult process. But starts with them being invested in treatment.
He lost me when first point was moneyyyyy… of course
?
You dont... tell how to stop... cause what is the recovery?
I always wondered if a reformed narcissist has to struggle with all the harm they have caused. Like the phrase “How can you live with yourself?”
Are reformed narcissists just mired in regret and grief having lived such horrible lives?
Yes