Recently, I attended an emotional support group. The underlying idea was that it was unhealthy to suppress trauma. Agreed. But what struck me was how deeply attached the participants were to talking about it, and that this quickly becomes just another strategy of avoidance. Instead of sitting quietly and being with these feelings, permitting them to just emerge and wane to their own rhythm, they actually circumvent them by endless chatter, as if they need someone to speak on their behalf.
I agree that just experiencing them is what is needed. Talking about them can help, but actively trying to solve them isn't the same as being present. I think maybe it can be a gateway, but after years and years of "oversharing" about my mental health issues, I realized it was not only potentially offputting to others, it wasn't actually helping me. Only sitting quietly with my thoughts and feelings has helped, and structured dharma sharing sessions in my sangha which are brief and honest bits of sharing but not "trauma dumping" for lack of more eloquent words.
I've been following you for a while and some part of me is always struggling because I can't argue with anything you say, and find it all to be helpful, but I also feel like I've gone through phases of clarity in my life surrounded by periods of depression, anxiety, anger, sadness, apathy, whatever. I've internalized that everyone struggles with this ebb and flow, and wonder if it's the same for you? Is your insight driven by suffering, or do you feel free from suffering? I don't know what I'm actually looking for in an answer, as I don't believe we can avoid suffering in this realm. I'm also physically ill presently so my outlook on the world is more dire than usual. Thanks for sharing your insights.
Thank you, that was very interesting. Some emotions arised just in the process of watching this video. Do you think its important to release negative emotions before awakening? Could awakening happen without releasing emotions?
Thank you for this beautiful words. I would be interested if you ever made experiences with Vipassana meditation? This kind of meditation works with the body (scanning) and I felt a big relief when I used this for the first times. It corresponds with your words that we have to feel first. I really don't like the technique 😅 because you have to "work" all the time the way through your body. But it really, really calms me like nothing else. 🙏
I tried Vipassana meditation, but I noticed that it prescribes a specific way of meditating, which makes the practice feel mechanical. And I believe that turning meditation into a mechanical process takes away what makes it truly meditative. For this reason, I’m not a big fan of it. But if it helps you, then that's great!
@ascendor.ascendor I feel the same like you. If meditation is letting go of the ego then who is scanning through the body? And says: Now the top of the head, now the left arm... But I also have to admit that this technique I never liked (because it is a technique) relaxes me the most and makes me comfortable in my body like nothing else. So there is the tension between disliking and simultaneously the benefit. And I am traumatized. That's why I was curious about your experiences. Maybe it works because it really turns to the body and there is no distraction. Maybe it is more a psychological working technique than true meditation. Thank you dear Ascendor
Has your awakening shifted something forever or is being who you truly are and experiencing being in your body as an individual, alternating across the day? Is awakening a spontaneous felt sense ( and not a state)that comes upon you? Thank you for your amazing videos🙏
The changes are still coming and going, just as they always have. But there’s simply a detachment... like a trust that you don’t have to change it, that you don’t have to fight against it at all. There’s just this detachment that can’t really be described. Even if the body feels negative, there’s simultaneously this sense of equanimity.
I have a question, for example I do this, being aware of the negative feelings everyday for 15 minutes. But then i have things to do, for example sociallizing. Can i also in day to day live practise with people. Or can I do it only in silence?
When you reach a point in meditation where you can feel a sense of letting life go and experience a state of being that defies description, with a deep sense of peace as if a part of your ego is dissolving, you can begin to cultivate a relationship with this state. Over time, it becomes a constant presence in the background. Even during conversations, you remain aware of it. It lingers in the field of awareness, allowing you to stay connected to this state while maintaining eye contact and engaging in social interactions.
i feel strom and fire in the body. So the way is to sit and let to be all these feelings right? Becouse often occur thoughts and anxiety, and it poison me more...
I cannot answer for him of course, but from my own perspective those feelings if left completely alone through avoidance can harm you. Feeling it, acknowledging it, is different from what helps it spread which is hiding from it, running from it, distracting yourself, denying, etc. Allowing the feelings to exist and be seen is a normalizing effect. In my personal practice, you then extend compassion to those feelings. You see those feelings as a wounded animal or child that needs care and love, and you love it unconditionally. Maybe love is too strong a word for you at first if the feelings you have are very negative. First, acceptance. It takes time, can be hard and painful, but as humans we can spend our entire life running away from feelings... and they chase us unrelentingly. When I first acknowledged what I was running from, it was like I had finally found the dagger that was twisting into my heart. I don't try to pull the dagger out... maybe that would kill me. Instead, I acknowledge that it is there, I forgive myself for planting it there or allowing others to plant it there. I forgive the knife itself because it never meant to hurt me. Maybe it'll always be part of me or maybe it'll work its way out over time. It's helpful to me to say "I am experiencing the sensations of pain" or "I am experiencing the emotion of anger, sadness" when I am acknowledging it. I don't say "I am in pain" or "I am angry." It helps prevent the feelings from taking over, knocking me back into my amygdala, into the parasympathetic fight or flight where I'd otherwise be.
You know, when you've been in situations in the past where you felt bad and developed a defense mechanism as a result, that feeling gets stored in your nervous system. Later, when you become aware of this trauma and start feeling it again, you essentially need to move through the feeling with your awareness. This means you will experience very intense emotions, and your mind will tell you that it is harmful, that it is toxic, and that you should not do it. The assumption that it is harmful stems from the belief that a tense feeling is automatically something bad. If you move through it, knowing that it cannot harm or kill you, it will heal. The complete acceptance of the feeling, allowing yourself to fully experience it, is the healing itself. It is like going through what you have been avoiding, only to realize in the end that it will not destroy you. When you realize that, something in your system will change because it will have to recognize that it cannot harm you. Once it is understood that it is harmless, the fear dissolves because the ego cannot remain afraid of something that is not deadly or threatening. For this to happen, though, you must fully experience the feeling and not believe the thoughts trying to convince you that it is toxic. Those thoughts come from the defense mechanism itself.
No shame in needing help also. The guidance of a competent healthcare professional or a meditation teacher can help. For most it is safe, but some people made it worse by opening too fast and too much. There is some risk to it. Be careful ❤
@@younusxp It might be because it still feels as though you are a separate person actively doing something to be present in order to experience unity. If you can let go on a deeper level where even the practice itself doesn’t matter anymore because you almost "die" in the sense that the ego completely dissolves and has no aspirations left, then there is a space of freedom. And from that space, the sense of unity arises.
Recently, I attended an emotional support group. The underlying idea was that it was unhealthy to suppress trauma. Agreed. But what struck me was how deeply attached the participants were to talking about it, and that this quickly becomes just another strategy of avoidance. Instead of sitting quietly and being with these feelings, permitting them to just emerge and wane to their own rhythm, they actually circumvent them by endless chatter, as if they need someone to speak on their behalf.
I agree that just experiencing them is what is needed. Talking about them can help, but actively trying to solve them isn't the same as being present. I think maybe it can be a gateway, but after years and years of "oversharing" about my mental health issues, I realized it was not only potentially offputting to others, it wasn't actually helping me. Only sitting quietly with my thoughts and feelings has helped, and structured dharma sharing sessions in my sangha which are brief and honest bits of sharing but not "trauma dumping" for lack of more eloquent words.
This is exactly what I needed to hear at the exact time I needed to hear it
Thank you.
Thank you ! This is really helpful!
❤️🙏
That's brilliant! It's absolutely sage advice 😇
You are simply amazing , Thank you my friend for your wisdom ......Also great eye candy 😉
grateful that you exist❤
Very clear and helpful, many many thanks Ascendor !
thank you trust 💖
🍀🙏
all should hear this who need it
❤❤❤
Thank you so much!
Great!
Thank you, great reminder!❤
Always at the right time. Thanks for sharing.
I've been following you for a while and some part of me is always struggling because I can't argue with anything you say, and find it all to be helpful, but I also feel like I've gone through phases of clarity in my life surrounded by periods of depression, anxiety, anger, sadness, apathy, whatever. I've internalized that everyone struggles with this ebb and flow, and wonder if it's the same for you? Is your insight driven by suffering, or do you feel free from suffering? I don't know what I'm actually looking for in an answer, as I don't believe we can avoid suffering in this realm. I'm also physically ill presently so my outlook on the world is more dire than usual. Thanks for sharing your insights.
We can only avoid suffering by letting go of all attachments. Accept death before death
So much information in our bodies ❤ Thank you
Helped a lot ❤
WOW
Thank you 🙏❤️
Wonderful ❤❤❤❤❤
Thank you
Thank you, that was very interesting. Some emotions arised just in the process of watching this video. Do you think its important to release negative emotions before awakening? Could awakening happen without releasing emotions?
Yes, awakening can also happen without letting go of all emotions, just like sleep can arrive in the evening without releasing emotions.
@ascendor.ascendor thank you, im on the way🙏
Thank You So Much That’s So Helpful ❤❤
I'm glad to hear that :)
Thanks, it's painful down there but the work must be done
SShhh , Don't label it ☺Just look 😍🥰
Thank you for this beautiful words.
I would be interested if you ever made experiences with Vipassana meditation? This kind of meditation works with the body (scanning) and I felt a big relief when I used this for the first times. It corresponds with your words that we have to feel first. I really don't like the technique 😅 because you have to "work" all the time the way through your body. But it really, really calms me like nothing else. 🙏
I tried Vipassana meditation, but I noticed that it prescribes a specific way of meditating, which makes the practice feel mechanical. And I believe that turning meditation into a mechanical process takes away what makes it truly meditative. For this reason, I’m not a big fan of it. But if it helps you, then that's great!
@ascendor.ascendor I feel the same like you. If meditation is letting go of the ego then who is scanning through the body? And says: Now the top of the head, now the left arm... But I also have to admit that this technique I never liked (because it is a technique) relaxes me the most and makes me comfortable in my body like nothing else. So there is the tension between disliking and simultaneously the benefit. And I am traumatized. That's why I was curious about your experiences. Maybe it works because it really turns to the body and there is no distraction. Maybe it is more a psychological working technique than true meditation.
Thank you dear Ascendor
Has your awakening shifted something forever or is being who you truly are and experiencing being in your body as an individual, alternating across the day? Is awakening a spontaneous felt sense ( and not a state)that comes upon you? Thank you for your amazing videos🙏
The changes are still coming and going, just as they always have. But there’s simply a detachment... like a trust that you don’t have to change it, that you don’t have to fight against it at all. There’s just this detachment that can’t really be described. Even if the body feels negative, there’s simultaneously this sense of equanimity.
@@ascendor.ascendorThank you- am grateful that every video of yours I listen to, gives me such clarity.🙏
The mantra never ends.
I have a question, for example I do this, being aware of the negative feelings everyday for 15 minutes. But then i have things to do, for example sociallizing. Can i also in day to day live practise with people. Or can I do it only in silence?
When you reach a point in meditation where you can feel a sense of letting life go and experience a state of being that defies description, with a deep sense of peace as if a part of your ego is dissolving, you can begin to cultivate a relationship with this state. Over time, it becomes a constant presence in the background. Even during conversations, you remain aware of it. It lingers in the field of awareness, allowing you to stay connected to this state while maintaining eye contact and engaging in social interactions.
i feel strom and fire in the body. So the way is to sit and let to be all these feelings right? Becouse often occur thoughts and anxiety, and it poison me more...
I cannot answer for him of course, but from my own perspective those feelings if left completely alone through avoidance can harm you. Feeling it, acknowledging it, is different from what helps it spread which is hiding from it, running from it, distracting yourself, denying, etc. Allowing the feelings to exist and be seen is a normalizing effect. In my personal practice, you then extend compassion to those feelings. You see those feelings as a wounded animal or child that needs care and love, and you love it unconditionally. Maybe love is too strong a word for you at first if the feelings you have are very negative. First, acceptance. It takes time, can be hard and painful, but as humans we can spend our entire life running away from feelings... and they chase us unrelentingly. When I first acknowledged what I was running from, it was like I had finally found the dagger that was twisting into my heart. I don't try to pull the dagger out... maybe that would kill me. Instead, I acknowledge that it is there, I forgive myself for planting it there or allowing others to plant it there. I forgive the knife itself because it never meant to hurt me. Maybe it'll always be part of me or maybe it'll work its way out over time. It's helpful to me to say "I am experiencing the sensations of pain" or "I am experiencing the emotion of anger, sadness" when I am acknowledging it. I don't say "I am in pain" or "I am angry." It helps prevent the feelings from taking over, knocking me back into my amygdala, into the parasympathetic fight or flight where I'd otherwise be.
You know, when you've been in situations in the past where you felt bad and developed a defense mechanism as a result, that feeling gets stored in your nervous system. Later, when you become aware of this trauma and start feeling it again, you essentially need to move through the feeling with your awareness. This means you will experience very intense emotions, and your mind will tell you that it is harmful, that it is toxic, and that you should not do it. The assumption that it is harmful stems from the belief that a tense feeling is automatically something bad.
If you move through it, knowing that it cannot harm or kill you, it will heal. The complete acceptance of the feeling, allowing yourself to fully experience it, is the healing itself. It is like going through what you have been avoiding, only to realize in the end that it will not destroy you. When you realize that, something in your system will change because it will have to recognize that it cannot harm you. Once it is understood that it is harmless, the fear dissolves because the ego cannot remain afraid of something that is not deadly or threatening.
For this to happen, though, you must fully experience the feeling and not believe the thoughts trying to convince you that it is toxic. Those thoughts come from the defense mechanism itself.
@@ascendor.ascendor thank you brother!
@ thanks bro
No shame in needing help also. The guidance of a competent healthcare professional or a meditation teacher can help. For most it is safe, but some people made it worse by opening too fast and too much. There is some risk to it. Be careful ❤
Is this the reason why it may not feel comfortable to be present in the beginning?
@@judyhonigbrot7126 Yes
Can I talk with you Ascendor? I have been watching your videos..would love to talk.
@@younusxp If you have a question you can write it in the comments or text me on instagram
@ just being here without any indulgence in thought doesnt feel like onness.. whats missing
@@younusxp It might be because it still feels as though you are a separate person actively doing something to be present in order to experience unity. If you can let go on a deeper level where even the practice itself doesn’t matter anymore because you almost "die" in the sense that the ego completely dissolves and has no aspirations left, then there is a space of freedom. And from that space, the sense of unity arises.
E schüüchi question: Falls nöd wyt vo Zumikon wonsch, dörft i es Bad cho näh i diine Alpha-Wälle? Satsang, soozäge…😌🥰❓
Thank you❤❤❤