Thank you for sharing your history of abuse. You being so open about your life and your struggles make me want to be open as well. When I was 4, i was molested by my dad. When I was 13, I was molested by some creep I met off of the internet (this was 1995 when the internet was first getting really popular). The memories of what my dad did to me didn't surface until I was 30. I still struggle getting close to other males and just relationships in general. Music is what saved me during my teenage years, specifically the band KoRn. My mom was my best friend until last year when she passed. Now, I have no motivation to do anything. I live alone on $500 a month. Life is suffering. Thank you for letting me vent.
Just having a listen now. Love you so so much 💗 You've been through it, and I'm so sorry for that. Though I understand, I've been there as well (as you know). Sharing your story will help many people, I truly believe that! 🩷
I am so glad you have Spanky by your side now. How horrifying though at the time. My dad treated my mom like that. She wasn't allowed to have her own friends. He was very controlling. I am so sorry that you had to endure this too. I am sure that your post will help someone, even if it is one person, it will be life changing for them. Much love and gentle hugs for you dear friend.
Pixi you are amazing & such an inspiration for so many. I was abused as well but it was my mother & I was her favorite target. I finally went no contact & best time of my life. The damage it leaves never goes away but it's made us who we are today. It opens our eyes & our hearts to sense others in pain & be empathetic but also fierce AF when we see abuse, injustice of others. Took a long time to see her for the nasty, evil narcissist she is & to learn it wasn't my fault. Bless you Pixi & SO very glad you made it out alive you truly are a beautiful & amazing soul inspite of the truly awful, evil 💩you've endured. Sending blessings & ❤from across the pond to you, Spanky, O & your other daughter & the 4 footed & others that are your family!
Survived 30 year marriage to a malignant narcissist. Better yet I survived the 8 year divorce process. (He was my best friend for 15 years before marriage. 🤦🏼♀️he had plenty of time to groom me. ) I’m 80. Thank you , Pixi.
Really relatable. It's so difficult the aftermath. I said to ex I had second thought about going through with marrying him. He spat in my face 3 month later I married Then by 2 years into marrying my son was 1 ( he's 13 now) just us two since I got to leave when my son was 1. Having 2 teenage kids also it was tuff on them. We're through the past but still there's triggers and depression that comes and goes. My heart broke since I started watching kraken the box and Cory was so brave and I really thought so highly of him BTW I'm sooooo glad I didn't presume his dad was your husband and wondered why you didn't say our little boy. But he was and is a great dad from what I can tell watching a few videos Thanks for being open and helping others who are experiencing difficulties and abuse just by speaking and encouraging others xx
Pixi, I've been through a very bad relationship and it smashed my ego from being a very independent and happy lady, I'm now in a very awesome place and single. Trusting a man is so hard, but I'm getting better. Thank you for sharing ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
It's awful, honestly, the things that happen behind closed doors are horrendous and even more so, when other see it happen and they don't do anything to help. x
Pixi Wynter Thank You So Very Much for sharing this!! I pray 🙏 it helps Someone and I Know It Will!! I lost my mother unexpectedly 19 years ago so I know how hard that is!! She was mauled and killed by a pittie and it Wasn’t the dogs fault!! He has abused him since he was six Weeks Old!! He was charged with Manslaughter and sentenced to the max bc of the family’s victims statements. He got 13 years but died in prison after the 1st year. His wife died 9 months after the dog attacked mom. So I feel we got justice, in a small way. And we sued the city and got justice there. It wasn’t much money but them stating they were wrong a DOLLAR would have been fine with me. We had just lost daddy 17 months prior to losing mom.!Sorry this is so long but I understand you better!! Sending Love ❤️ and Hugs. Lots of Hugs from GA 🇺🇸 USA!! Love you and your family!!!
You're brilliant for being able to share sweetheart. I've had multiple abusive relationships, starting with my own Mother, so I understand everything you are saying. I even have had a similar ectopic pregnancy experience. Everything that I have been through i still cry about to this day, now included! I'm 55 and it started at 15. Heads fucked! Anyway I'll leave it there and send you tonnes of cwtches. Janet, South Wales ♥ ❤ xxxxx
That's the thing though, I'm not strong. I learnt to be quiet, keep my mouth shut for the longest time. The photos that I submitted magically disappeared and no-one helped me. It's only now, since losing my little boy, and having TH-cam and a podcast channel that I think 'sod it'' and am speaking out. Honestly though, I'm SO messed up in many ways and now at the point where I think, I'm the only one who can get myself out of this. So being very open...even if it helps one person, it's worth it x
@thecrapgoth You're a warrior, Pixi. The fact that you're still here living life is admirable. You run two youtube channels, you have a partner, a daughter at uni and a daughter growing up at home with you is huge! I relate with you so much and you make me feel less alone. Thank you for that.
@@thecrapgoth I hope it helps you, you will get through it, you are a fighter, even if you dont see it. I was introduced to you through your son, it was heartbreaking and joyful seeing his youtube journey, such a wonderful young man, as a parent his story touched me in a way that I cant describe.
I was with one for years. I was hit pushed and punched got choked smacked you name it. He was a cheater. I left him one day where we were supposed to go to church. He had some girl here that he met on the internet any way I told him I was not going and I said my son was ill and bam that was it..I told my kids I have a boy and a girl to put some clothes in a bag and take you pillow covers and pack them with whatever you want to take because we are not coming back. Tow weeks later his new girl I talked to and she told he was gone so I called a few people and cleaned out the house . That was how I spent new years eve2000 in to my new place. It's funny bonjovi who I love had a new song come out and that's my call to a new me my divorce song. Good song of surviving. Love you always my loves be safe from an old grandma from Indiana USA 💕💕💕💕💕💕💙
I was in a very abisive toxic relationship myself. I was an extremely naive gullable immature 18 year old. But i did kno right from wrong. This guy came in2 my life + slowly brought heroin with him. Well!!! Me being as daft as i was started making excuses 4 him. Anyway.. i ended up pregnant + unbeknownst 2 me , his drug habit was getting really quite bad. Over the next 3 years i had another son . I had always suffered bad mental health, i was a cutter + was an active cutter when he came un2 my life. 🤔. He was evil. He would strangle me till i couldnt breathe. I always felt like i had a broken bone in my neck afterwards because of the pain. That was his favor8, the choking. But he also held my head in a bath multiple times. ++ dragged me by the hair, up a close + in2 the flat. There was a time he dragged me by the hair across the floor in front of 1 of his junkie pals who did fukc all!! Grr. Oh yeah, he caught me cutting 1 time + took it from me + tried 2 cut my finger off. Theres 1 time he stabbed me on the head with a screwdriver b3cause i needed help with the kids in the morning. Anyway, im not sad fishing here. The point im trying 2 make is this. I was with hi. 4 17 years. + it took me from 2017 til now 2 get my head back 2 some kind of normal. But i dont have anger anymore. I dont blame him 100% . I think 2 myself, who is worse, the persin doing the abusing or the person who allows it? I dont kno. Anyway.. i dont have any h8. Ive learned that it takes up 2 much energy 2 b constantly hating + blaming. I have 2 take some of the responsibility..😢
This is like therapy.. hehe.. i 4got.. when i was pregnant with my 1st son with him. He was kicking me on the floir + hitting my stomach. Im sure more lovely memories r going 2 come back now but i just had 2 put that out in2 the universe 2day.. 😊
Thank you for sharing your history of abuse. You being so open about your life and your struggles make me want to be open as well. When I was 4, i was molested by my dad. When I was 13, I was molested by some creep I met off of the internet (this was 1995 when the internet was first getting really popular). The memories of what my dad did to me didn't surface until I was 30. I still struggle getting close to other males and just relationships in general. Music is what saved me during my teenage years, specifically the band KoRn. My mom was my best friend until last year when she passed. Now, I have no motivation to do anything. I live alone on $500 a month. Life is suffering. Thank you for letting me vent.
❤️❤️❤️❤️🙏🙏🙏
You’re such a special person Pixi, you survived and you’re there offering help to others. I survived to. Never stop being you ❤️🥰
Just having a listen now. Love you so so much 💗 You've been through it, and I'm so sorry for that. Though I understand, I've been there as well (as you know). Sharing your story will help many people, I truly believe that! 🩷
I am so glad you have Spanky by your side now. How horrifying though at the time. My dad treated my mom like that. She wasn't allowed to have her own friends. He was very controlling. I am so sorry that you had to endure this too. I am sure that your post will help someone, even if it is one person, it will be life changing for them. Much love and gentle hugs for you dear friend.
Pixi you are amazing & such an inspiration for so many. I was abused as well but it was my mother & I was her favorite target. I finally went no contact & best time of my life. The damage it leaves never goes away but it's made us who we are today. It opens our eyes & our hearts to sense others in pain & be empathetic but also fierce AF when we see abuse, injustice of others. Took a long time to see her for the nasty, evil narcissist she is & to learn it wasn't my fault. Bless you Pixi & SO very glad you made it out alive you truly are a beautiful & amazing soul inspite of the truly awful, evil 💩you've endured. Sending blessings & ❤from across the pond to you, Spanky, O & your other daughter & the 4 footed & others that are your family!
@@AuntClara0911 what the heffering hell is it with some Mothers?!!!!!xx
Survived 30 year marriage to a malignant narcissist. Better yet I survived the 8 year divorce process. (He was my best friend for 15 years before marriage. 🤦🏼♀️he had plenty of time to groom me. ) I’m 80. Thank you , Pixi.
Oh my gosh that is absolutely horrendous!! Such a long time to suffer! I'm SO SO glad you divorced him!! How are you doing now? xx
Sharing your story will give those who are currently going through abuse the strength to know they're not alone and they can get out of it.
I really hope so xx
So so proud of you Pixie and thankful you are in a better place today, If I could fly myself over to England to give you a big hug I would 🤗🤗💜💜
Really relatable. It's so difficult the aftermath. I said to ex I had second thought about going through with marrying him. He spat in my face
3 month later I married
Then by 2 years into marrying my son was 1 ( he's 13 now) just us two since I got to leave when my son was 1. Having 2 teenage kids also it was tuff on them. We're through the past but still there's triggers and depression that comes and goes.
My heart broke since I started watching kraken the box and Cory was so brave and I really thought so highly of him
BTW I'm sooooo glad I didn't presume his dad was your husband and wondered why you didn't say our little boy. But he was and is a great dad from what I can tell watching a few videos
Thanks for being open and helping others who are experiencing difficulties and abuse just by speaking and encouraging others xx
Very brave and honest which may help someone else that’s feeling so overwhelmed. ❤
Pixi, I've been through a very bad relationship and it smashed my ego from being a very independent and happy lady, I'm now in a very awesome place and single. Trusting a man is so hard, but I'm getting better. Thank you for sharing ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Loved this conversation.
Love the thumbnail
Thank you for bringing up this subject. Abuse happens way more than is reported and is serious but also very important to bring up !!!!!
It's awful, honestly, the things that happen behind closed doors are horrendous and even more so, when other see it happen and they don't do anything to help. x
Pixi Wynter Thank You So Very Much for sharing this!! I pray 🙏 it helps Someone and I Know It Will!!
I lost my mother unexpectedly 19 years ago so I know how hard that is!! She was mauled and killed by a pittie and it Wasn’t the dogs fault!! He has abused him since he was six Weeks Old!! He was charged with Manslaughter and sentenced to the max bc of the family’s victims statements. He got 13 years but died in prison after the 1st year. His wife died 9 months after the dog attacked mom. So I feel we got justice, in a small way. And we sued the city and got justice there. It wasn’t much money but them stating they were wrong a DOLLAR would have been fine with me. We had just lost daddy 17 months prior to losing mom.!Sorry this is so long but I understand you better!! Sending Love ❤️ and Hugs. Lots of Hugs from GA 🇺🇸 USA!! Love you and your family!!!
You are so much stronger than you know…I know I’m stronger than I think and so are you!!
You're brilliant for being able to share sweetheart. I've had multiple abusive relationships, starting with my own Mother, so I understand everything you are saying. I even have had a similar ectopic pregnancy experience. Everything that I have been through i still cry about to this day, now included! I'm 55 and it started at 15. Heads fucked! Anyway I'll leave it there and send you tonnes of cwtches. Janet, South Wales ♥ ❤ xxxxx
Ps I'm so happy you found spanky. I see the love between you both and you are safe. Love always 💕💕💕💕💕💕💙
Thankyou x
You have been through so much, my heart goes out to you. You are stronger than I could ever be, thanks for being so open.
That's the thing though, I'm not strong. I learnt to be quiet, keep my mouth shut for the longest time. The photos that I submitted magically disappeared and no-one helped me. It's only now, since losing my little boy, and having TH-cam and a podcast channel that I think 'sod it'' and am speaking out. Honestly though, I'm SO messed up in many ways and now at the point where I think, I'm the only one who can get myself out of this. So being very open...even if it helps one person, it's worth it x
@thecrapgoth You're a warrior, Pixi. The fact that you're still here living life is admirable. You run two youtube channels, you have a partner, a daughter at uni and a daughter growing up at home with you is huge! I relate with you so much and you make me feel less alone. Thank you for that.
@@thecrapgoth I hope it helps you, you will get through it, you are a fighter, even if you dont see it. I was introduced to you through your son, it was heartbreaking and joyful seeing his youtube journey, such a wonderful young man, as a parent his story touched me in a way that I cant describe.
Thank you for sharing your story, sweets!❤
I was with one for years. I was hit pushed and punched got choked smacked you name it. He was a cheater. I left him one day where we were supposed to go to church. He had some girl here that he met on the internet any way I told him I was not going and I said my son was ill and bam that was it..I told my kids I have a boy and a girl to put some clothes in a bag and take you pillow covers and pack them with whatever you want to take because we are not coming back. Tow weeks later his new girl I talked to and she told he was gone so I called a few people and cleaned out the house . That was how I spent new years eve2000 in to my new place. It's funny bonjovi who I love had a new song come out and that's my call to a new me my divorce song. Good song of surviving.
Love you always my loves be safe from an old grandma from Indiana USA 💕💕💕💕💕💕💙
I was in a very abisive toxic relationship myself. I was an extremely naive gullable immature 18 year old. But i did kno right from wrong. This guy came in2 my life + slowly brought heroin with him. Well!!! Me being as daft as i was started making excuses 4 him. Anyway.. i ended up pregnant + unbeknownst 2 me , his drug habit was getting really quite bad. Over the next 3 years i had another son . I had always suffered bad mental health, i was a cutter + was an active cutter when he came un2 my life. 🤔. He was evil. He would strangle me till i couldnt breathe. I always felt like i had a broken bone in my neck afterwards because of the pain. That was his favor8, the choking. But he also held my head in a bath multiple times. ++ dragged me by the hair, up a close + in2 the flat. There was a time he dragged me by the hair across the floor in front of 1 of his junkie pals who did fukc all!! Grr. Oh yeah, he caught me cutting 1 time + took it from me + tried 2 cut my finger off. Theres 1 time he stabbed me on the head with a screwdriver b3cause i needed help with the kids in the morning. Anyway, im not sad fishing here. The point im trying 2 make is this. I was with hi. 4 17 years. + it took me from 2017 til now 2 get my head back 2 some kind of normal. But i dont have anger anymore. I dont blame him 100% . I think 2 myself, who is worse, the persin doing the abusing or the person who allows it? I dont kno. Anyway.. i dont have any h8. Ive learned that it takes up 2 much energy 2 b constantly hating + blaming. I have 2 take some of the responsibility..😢
This is like therapy.. hehe.. i 4got.. when i was pregnant with my 1st son with him. He was kicking me on the floir + hitting my stomach. Im sure more lovely memories r going 2 come back now but i just had 2 put that out in2 the universe 2day.. 😊
HI!
You should have been entitled to free legal aid. ❤