Women With ADHD: How A Diagnosis Changed Our Lives
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 12 พ.ย. 2021
- Growing up, Cheyenne, Jnanee and Moonlake struggled with being distracted, careless, forgetful, disorganised and late, which led them to believe they were “stupid”, “dysfunctional” and “flawed”. They never knew that they had Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD).
Studies show that girls and women with ADHD are more likely to be misdiagnosed or undiagnosed, because unlike boys who tend to be hyperactive, their symptoms of inattention are less likely to be recognised.
Without access to medication and coping strategies, Cheyenne lost her scholarship and went into severe depression; Jnanee suffered from panic and anxiety attacks; and Moonlake’s marriage started to show cracks.
Things took a turn for these women when they finally got diagnosed, well into their adulthood. They now help others through www.unlockingADHD.com - a non-profit set up by Moonlake to empower those with ADHD.
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Hi everyone! This is Jnanee here. Thank you all for commenting and sharing your stories! There are SO many comments here and I wish I could reply to all of them....please do continue to share your stories and support one another. We are stronger together
Thank you! I live in a small town and my GP just stared at me when I mentioned I think I have ADHD and said, let's get the depression sorted first. This was two years ago and has never given me a referral to someone who can diagnose in my country. I don't know how to get a diagnosis or even where to start. (I'm 48)
@@Larissa_aus316 Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry!! This is really a huge problem. I have also had depression and anxiety be there only things doctors and prescribers have entertained as possible diagnoses for me, for so long!! I’ve now been diagnosed but it is still quite an uphill battle - internally and externally - to get the help and support I need to recognize this as a real part of me, and give myself a break for all the years and discouragement and shame it’s caused!
Thank you for sharing your story ❤️ I'm in my 30s and just realizing I probably have ADHD and just never got diagnosed.
I have adhd growing up I always didn't like sitting down and I have head aches.
I realized late that I wanted to become a vet :'(
“My brain is not wrong, but maybe it’s not suitable for this post-industrial era”…. Man, thats EXACTLY how I feel and it infuriates me that we’re expected to “fix” ourselves just to fit in with the era we live in. What a painful thing. Somebody help me to reframe this to see the good, please.
this hit so hard for me as well
“ADHD: A Hunter in a Farmer's World” by Thom Hartmann has an amazing reframing of ADHD that’s helped me immensely. Highly recommend ❤
Hey, God can heal anything, I believe in the power of revival ❤
Does many have fybromyalgia with this
👍🏿
This is my first time seeing other adult Asian women talk about ADHD and their stories. I was diagnosed with ADD after college, but I never had any family members or Asian friends talk about ADHD/ADD. Dealt with a lot of self doubt and low self esteem. Thank you so much for sharing! Seeing others like me learn to thrive with it in their careers and relationships is really encouraging.
It's my first time seeing asian women talk about adhd as well! It feels really nice!
@@Oqhixiism Society’s unrealistic expectations keep us from sharing our stories🥺 love this video.
@@leadayco I am confused of what you mean? Are you saying that women don't get diagnosed as often as men because of gender roles? Or are you saying the Asians don't get diagnosed that often because of stereotypes?
It is incredibly hereditary in fact 85% so from the mother
@@humbleAndkind. makes sense why am mom and my two siblings has it
When she said she drink coffee to cope with the pressure coming from the academic side and didn't shower, just wanted to be in bed, everything is useless I felt that same. I too tell myself I m useless, not capable enough of anything on this earth.
Don't tell yourself lies about yourself, your brain is listening (Dr Amen). 💌😊 Know you are precious, and created for a reason, and a purpose, for good! ♥️
It's amazing how many people self medicate their ADHD symptoms, and don't even realize it. I was fully addicted to cocaine at age 19. I'd never drank alcohol or smoked marijuana, but I immediately tried and loved cocaine. I never understood why that was the first drug I tried until I was diagnosed at age 27. Somehow, my brain and my body just knew that I needed the stimulant. I functioned normally as an "addict" and I for once felt like I could exist in the world as myself. I felt that this must be how everyone feels, and I'm only just now getting a chance to experience it. I'm shocked every time I hear a girl with ADHD tell a similar story, but it is never surprising. Whether we self medicate with coffee, diet pills, cocaine, or even meth, we are all looking for the same thing; relief. This is why I have so much empathy for addicts, particularly female addicts. So many addictions begin with just the desire to get rid of the symptoms of a very real and very debilitating illness or deficiency.
I do that too, I realized I even say “sorry I’m stupid” out loud to the others when I forget something. I blame myself so much!
Sometimes I get that way
At least once per week, I spend about an hour crying and dwelling on how much different my life could have been if I had been diagnosed in childhood instead at age 27. These women were telling my life story. When the Doctor said, "at least then I knew that I wasn't just stupid or lazy", that resonated with me so, so much. That was all I was told throughout my entire childhood. Even though I learned to read at age two. Even though I was four years old in first grade. Even though I was in gifted programs, honors programs, AP courses, and a summer residency program for high school students at Harvard. Even though I finished high school at 16. I was still labelled as stupid and lazy for not being able to focus on tasks, organize my thoughts, or read long, fiction books that I had no interest in, like my sister could. I wasn't wrong or bad, I was just different. I have so much empathy now for the little girl I used to be, but unfortunately, all of those years spent being criticized - by myself as well as by others - took a huge toll on my self esteem.
So much of what you said resonated with. I didn't have the strong pull to academics you have but the programming of feeling stupid and lazy is so familiar. I am 48 and have been experimenting with different types of medications.( diagnosed 8 yrs ago) I tried Concerta and Adderall. I didn't like either and for a few years I try to "wing it". Those years without the meds seemed uneventful and stagnate. I'm currently taking Vyvanse and it seems more promising. My thoughts are clearer and coupled with EMDR therapy I'm rewiring my response to hurtful childhood memories. If you are on the fence or don't want to go the medications route try EMDR, it's such an effective form of therapy. But I will caution you on it's intensity. A good therapist will support you through the tough memories and give you tools to soothe yourself. Good luck!
I was diagnosed at 38. I just hope the next generation keeps getting supported. I never thought I could be once they labelled it adHd opposed to ADD because I was not hyperactive. Actually, slowed down..
@@cocot9414 Thank you so much for your comment! It means so much to me that you are able to relate to my experience. It is heartbreaking that so many women and girls have to go through this, but sharing our stories helps us all to feel less alone. You are worthy and you are valid. Your struggles are real, and you are strong as all hell. If no one has told you this lately, just know that this stranger on the internet is proud of you.
Thankfully, I have a kind and empathetic team of clinicians who understand what I am going through (both my prescribing NP and my therapist are both women who have ADHD!), and medication and treatment have never been an issue. I am currently on Vyvanse too! The only other drug I'd tried before that was Adderall IR, the instant release tablets, not the capsules. At the time, I didn't have insurance, and that was the only medication I could afford (the generics cost about $34/month). Now that I do have insurance, my NP suggested Vyvanse, which is what she takes, and it seems promising. I'm so glad that it is working for you as well! ♥️
@@youarestronger I agree with you, and I understand. The "hyperactive" label does throw a lot of people off, especially when it comes to recognizing symptoms in women and girls. For some reason, females on average tend to not experience hyperactivity like ADHD boys do. This is why we are so soften overlooked and undiagnosed. Boys are almost always diagnosed at around age 6 or 7, when their teacher has a meeting with his parents to inform them that their child is disruptive in class and can't pay attention. Because girls with the disorder are rarely hyperactive, and almost never make a scene or disrupt class, we slip through the cracks and suffer sin silence. Teachers really are on the front lines when it comes to recognizing and bringing attention to the onset of the disorder. they need to be thoroughly educated on what to look out for in both sexes so that ADHD girls can actually stand a chance.
Thank you so much for your comment, and for sharing your story! ♥️
Hi, this is Jnanee! Thank you for sharing your story. I'd cry at night...and in the midst of crying, I'd think about how there must be other people out there in similar situations. I wanted to reach out to these and let them know that they're never alone...and I also wanted to spread awareness and prevent more people from finding themselves in similar situations.
There are SO many comments here and I wish I could reply to all of them....thank you all for sharing your stories and for your support
This is so so important, I'm glad they shared their age of diagnosis too
saa
Thank you for your comment :)
Being a blk women with adhd undiagnosed for much of my life I kinda want to cry because of the lack of understanding I got from pretty much anyone especially my parents everybody knew I wasn't a bad kid but I kept hearing over and over even from the ppl I cared for the most "If you applied yourself, if only you'd just apply yourself" from teachers and family. I also relate to the thing about homework. I could do the work at school but when I got home it was a different story.
My parents were terrible at helping me I was already struggling but when I did try to do it with their help they had absolutely no patience with me. They would just scream, curse, yell and hit me when I got a problem wrong and that made me want to do it even less.
Throughout much of my adolescents I tried so hard to be the perfect child but my adhd would hold me back but I just could not concentrate and I would feel so overwhelmed at times I would just lay in the bed and do nothing which lead to me being called lazy time and time again by my parents. And the worst part about the whole thing is my dad has a brother with adhd and my grandma who has always been observant told both my parents that she thought I had adhd and to get me tested.
They never did! And my mom took it as an insult for whatever weird reason. My dad who should've known better but he though adhd was just being super hyper because that's typically how it's expressed in men and since I wasn't super hyper like my uncle. He chopped it up to me just being lazy too.
Sorry If I'm typing a lot or oversharing a bit but if feels good to find ppl who have dealt with similar things everything these ladies are saying is so relatable to me. I'm glad I came across it.
Thank you for sharing, I hear you. Most people in the black community do not talk about this, or mental health in general. We are often left out in the conversation. From the comments, it seems like Asian women are left out too. It’s really frustrating.
I'm sorry you had to go through that. I also felt emotional while watching this as I realize that other people have experienced the same.
Like the story of the lady who speak first, at some point I also dreamed to be a vet, but I dropped it realizing I might not be able to achieve that. Or any other profession really, because I won't be able to pass. I'm currently in highschool going through the same struggles with not being able to finish assignments that was assigned to us while my peers are doing just fine. Although they don't really say that I'm lazy because I'm doing my best to mask my dysfunctionality like one of the ladies in the video said, I deal with self judgement instead, I always feel like a failure.
I'm saying all this while not being professionally diagnosed, but I hope to get help soon because I want to be able to live an easier life. If only finance wasn't a problem and accessibility here in Southeast Asia. From me to everyone suffering as well, I hope you can also get the help you need.
You're not oversharing. I'm in a similar situation and in a country where mental health is usually taken as an excuse to be lazy until the person decides to end it all. Realizing you're not alone and that there is a whole other life after diagnosis is the first step.
I was diagnosed at 39, after a painful adult life full of chaos, self reproach, not understanding what on earth was wrong with me...and my parents and friends believing I was truly just irresponsible because I was always late, losing everything, completely disorganized etc. Thank you for sharing your experience....it is very meaningful to find others who get you, and who you relate to. My diagnosis, was the best thing that ever happened, because I could stop being so disgusted with myself, had the language to explain my experiences and could find others to share in what once felt like a very lonely place.
I'm a green eyed sister. Nobody did anything except punish me, or spank me . I was kicked out of classes, fired from.jobs. I'm in my 60's and just NOW am looking into this. I've been an anxious mess my whole life.......
I’ve always been yelled at for talking too much, changing subject all of a sudden, forgetting things, getting distracted or being loud. My parents always blamed me and I couldn’t do much especially for the forgetfulness. I grew up thinking it was my personality. During my years of university I started having depression because of the fact I couldn’t stay on track like the others and when you are studying architecture you have timelines to respect. I was always late. I knew about ADHD but I didn’t know about the inattentive type. I now feel seen, and I can now understand why I am like that. I hope to get my diagnosis very soon, but here in Italy is really hard to find a specialist in adhd. 😞
Me to all my life told the same x
It's surprising how similar my story is to you 😦
I suspect I may have adhd. I was never hyperactive as a kid, I was the very well-behaved girl who did her homework on her own and was obedient to parents and teachers... if you contrast that to my "naughty and hyper active" brother, I was totally normal. He was diagnosed with ADHD when he was 6 years old, and he received the therapy he needed. My parents never even suspected about me.
But with time, I've come to the realization that I struggle with lots of things in my daily life. I look put together from the outside because I was taught that way, but in reality, I feel my brain is so SCATTERED. I'm so forgetful I have to put on alarms for EVERYTHING (take a shower, do the dishes, feed the cats, time to eat, get out of the house to be on time, study, send a project) because If I don't put on an alarm I will forget about those things or will be allways late to things. Time passes me by so quickly when I'm distracted on things of my interest. I'm also inattentive of my my surroundings, I've walked out of the house with my clothes inside out so many times, I leave the fire on when I finish cooking, I lose everything constantly... I want to be on the moment and pay attention to the things that are happening around me, but either my head is in the clouds or I'm hyper focused on a certain thing that has all my attention. People will be talking to me, and I'm not aware, or I find it physically hard to concentrate. It is like a camera lense in automatic that is trying to focus on many things. Even when my brother is the one with the official diagnosis I'm the one that is known as the clueless of the family, they say I don't loose my head because it's attached to my body.
And now that I've started to work, I find it so hard to start and finish my projects. I feel lazy, unproductive and unmotivated... but then I look around and so many people seem to achieve things so easily and I don't work like that. I've told my mom about this, but she dismissed it, saying I can't have adhd because I'm not hyperactive and I did well in school when I was a kid.
Thank you for sharing all of this. I just turned 25 and I also suspect that I am undiagnosed with ADHD. I related so much to your experiences with being a high achiever in school and reaching certain external expectations. My hyperactivity ended by the time I went to pre-school where I was able to behave according to their standards. I have suffered from depression and anxiety since I could remember and I have always been overwhelmed from a lot of stimulation in quiet environments; however, there are times where I do seek out extreme levels of visual or audio stimulation to help just focus on one task. I am extremely forgetful and late to everything, which makes daily functioning very difficult as you may know. I just experienced invalidation as well from my therapist, who only has a degree in social work. I am currently trying to seek out other opinions for a diagnosis. I hope you are able to get other expert opinions outside of your home as well. I believe that knowledge is power and this could be the start of shifting lifestyle patterns to find what works for us. ❤
@@jessicanapoles2498 i am in a very similar boat like you. not hyperactive but overly scattered.
THIS. I feel that! I feel like I’ve somehow slipped through the cracks because I did well in school, but I feel like I have 50 million tabs open in my brain all the time. I have so many reminders set for things like leaving and I thought that was normal behavior lol
I was finally formally assessed yesterday. I'm almost 30. but it's hard to find older Asian women sharing their stories. Thank you
I got professionally diagnosed a few days ago too! I’m 24 and I’m still finding out new things about my inattentive ADHD. It’s really helping me come to terms with myself.
Same here. I went for a neuropsych assessment just yesterday..
It is more important for doctors especially GP who gives referrals to know more about ADHD and other mental health conditions. I was discouraged to visit a Psychiatrist by a doctor in the polyclinic when I went there to get a referral. She “claimed” that she do not think I have ADHD or I probably have grown out of my ADHD because for the 10mins I’m with her I am able to focus…
U should totally go for a diagnosis at another doc and report the 1st doc to an association and get her license barred or some like that
I hope they don’t do that to me I’m pretty sure I have some sort of learning disability since I was always slacking in my work and it’s hard for me to process information
Thank you for reducing the stigma surrounding this.
are they worthy of having happiness and husbands too?
Twice as hard or even triply hard -- and we often do so -- bc we want to please other people! I have striven to the max to supersede expectations just to feel validated. To have ADHD is to feel constantly on the verge of disaster. And it is so painful. We are full of effort and we always want to be productive! At least that is how I know my ADHD ladies to be. We really want to do things, sometimes we slum it. But we are almost always highly intelligent and capable. We need each other. So cool to see a woman-centric ADHD TH-cam thing. ADHD in women is really under-acknowledged, particularly in adults. And we are going to gain strength by sharing our experiences. Carry on!
I was just diagnosed with inattentive ADHD at 33 and this video makes me emotional. I can totally relate.
I struggled with ADHD myself. A lot of people, especially my family members do not see this as a real disability. Just an excuse to them, as through out my childhood I would get physically & mentally abused for not being able to be good enough to function like a normal person.
This video hits me extremely hard, because a lot of people don't want to understand or get to know how ADHD works in a adult. I still can't function as fast & as well like other people. I was told I was too slow, especially when it came to learning something new. But I was kept around, because I was the only willing worker to stay over time to get things done & ready for the next day. I cry from the stress because there was so much expectations but no one listened to me having ADHD. They absolutely ignored it, leading me to eventually me quitting a few of my jobs (trucked it as long as I could, i was with the company for nearly 3 years.)
I just don't want to struggle with my ADHD anymore. I am already schedule for a therapist, though Idk if thats the right person to go to-
Thank you for sharing your experience. Some useful resources the folks we featured in this video pointed us to include
www.additudemag.com/ and www.unlockingadhd.com/ which provides information on the different mental health professionals you could go to for help. There is also a Facebook community started by Unlocking ADHD which one of our interviewees said helped her feel less alone. Hope this helps, if you're looking for more information.
I was going through the same years back untill I found a solution to help me focus and supress the ADHD symptoms.
Go to Instagram and search for myconazzy
You will be surprised 😉
Thank me later
This makes me cry. The hardship, humiliation, and disappointment that coming from my families, friends, school and everyone.. being reminded that you are stupid, and you’ll have no future.. when I was growing up in Asia as a kid with undiagnosed ADHD. I am glad that this video exists…thank you!
I’m so glad I came across this video. My wife was recently diagnosed with ADHD and during her screening I realized almost everything she was saying was the same as I would if those questions were asked to me. I’m 22 and I’ve always felt I was too lazy and unmotivated because I struggled to focus as I progressed in high school and college. My parents are Chinese and although they’re becoming more aware of mental health, I feel like they always assumed I was the “normal one” in the family and just needed to work harder. I drove myself forward mainly off that stress and now I think I’m going to finally seek help. Thank you all for being vulnerable and showing me it’s not too late!
I’m 25 and just received my diagnosis I never realized all my flaws could be explained I just thought I was just terrible at life
I so relate. And I’m 35. Glad you found an answer. I hope to get a diagnosis soon.
I'm 57 and recently got diagnosed, positively. Yup...same. Often I feel terrible at life"! Well- said.
I was diagnosed yesterday, it was something I knew deep down from a young age. It’s so important to see representation for women with ADHD from different backgrounds. I really hope people coming forward and sharing stories will help young women understand how to live with and understand ADHD
Thank you for making this video. I am a 38 year old woman and was diagnosed this year. I cannot tell you how much medication has changed my life for the better. In all areas. I now see just how hard I was struggling. All the puzzle pieces from my past are starting to come together. It’s been painful for me to speak to people about ADHD who deny its existence, or shame me and others for taking medication. It is like shaming somebody for wearing eyeglasses who has bad eyesight.
Hiii I suspect I have adhd but not sure like I am 18 but I never done well at school from starting and also if I start a project or daily goals I could even finish one also poor decision making and also I am day dreamer Making my own interpretation ending of a movie imagining my self and sooo on very less focus and concentration do I have adhd or not
Absolutely identified with these stories! I wasn't diagnosed until my GP put me on diet pills for weight loss. All of a sudden I could sleep better, take out the dishes, it was like stepping out of the water and being able to run properly again!
how come.. they ad adderral?
I feel so grateful to have been diagnosed at age 20. I mourned the life and success I could’ve had, but I have so much left to do here and I’m glad I finally understand this part of myself. Thank you for sharing the stories a lot of us women share, and I’m so glad to see WOC represented as well. May we all find our lives meaningful and wonderful again. ❤
I was told by (a male) doctor it doesn't matter if I possibly have ADHD because I graduated university (took me 5 years to complete a 3 year degree) so obviously I don't struggle enough 🙄 it's amazing to see older women talk about their experiences makes me hopeful for possibly getting help in the future too.
That’s awful - your struggles (and succeeding regardless) may be used against you
My heart cries for the woman who was 50.
I get distraught when I think about who I could have been if I knew earlier. I’m 30…that’s already a lot of time.
This video is so validating 😭It encourages me to get myself checked. Also in my late 20s now!
Wow. Here i am, 46 years old, and wondering if my struggles with life are a result of ADHD. I've been diagnosed with depression and anxiety, take antidepressants, go to weekly therapy, and I'm not making much progress. Thank you for this video. I'm going to bring this up to my therapist tomorrow.
I hope it went well Erin - I was diagnosed ADHD age 40 after a similar history to you.
if you're comfortable, please share how it went!
@@ellenwings2194 The psych said my feelings are valid and she'll keep them in mind. I should keep taking the meds and we'll revisit my possible ADHD diagnosis in three months.
I've got another month to go
I was just diagnosed and I am 48! I have been on numerous antidepressants, anti-anxiety meds and now know any depression and anxiety were due to undiagnosed ADHD. My life would have been so much different if someone had seen this in me. I've had very low self esteem and have really struggled all my life but just look energetic and "successful" to other people. If they only knew. I keep bursting out in tears thinking about it...48 years!!:( good luck with you doctor!
Good to know that I'm not alone. I'm not that hyperactive but on always late, I didn't even notice that long and when I was aware, I'm somehow sad because my time management isn't always precise.
We can go through this and I hope you have a great day!
Edit: it's supposed to be 'can'. My autocorrect did me wrong again.
Thanks for sharing, you're definitely not alone! If you're looking to learn how other ADHDers cope with time management, the folks at Unlocking ADHD www.unlockingadhd.com have also started a private Facebook support group where they share their various coping strategies
I got diagnosed with ADHD at 27 and it was all my own effort. Social media was a major factor that I was able to get the awareness of my condition. I got diagnosed but since then, no meds have helped me. I am hardwired to the point where it hurts me. I cannot remember simple recipes, directions, birthdays, things that happened just a few days ago. I have no developed skills (personal or work-related), no hobbies. I have only been able to dwell on the fact that I wasn’t diagnosed earlier.
I know people can turn their lives around but I am so so far gone. I have general anxiety, social anxiety, depression, mood swings, aggression, no interest in whatsoever or who-so-ever.
I am married but I am always upsetting my husband. I am forgetful and interruptive.
I haven’t been able to maintain a job in my entire life. I am the story of many perhaps but being this way day in and day out is killing me and driving me towards taking my own life.
I felt just like the women in this video. I wasn't diagnosed until I was in my 40s. I am 53. I too wonder if I had been diagnosed when I was young if it could have impacted my life differently. I made it through college in 4 years but it was very hard for me! I am glad there are programs for young girls now! Being misunderstood as a child impacted my self worth significantly. Medication isn't a cure all,.. but knowing there is a diagnosis for it and there are things I can do to manage my symptoms is a great relief!
I’m sobbing now, it’s nice to hear these women have so many of the thoughts I had myself, like since I just got my diagnosis, I too get sad over all that could have been had I had an earlier diagnosis
I can totally relate. Finally diagnosed last week at age 56. Just validating yet same time grief stricken. Honor all those feelings. Onward to better understanding and self compassion. 💕
Sobbing too. Was in process of getting my screening scheduled when the lockdown happened. I have always had setbacks that just don’t make sense. My brain is an engine and it’s on full power going constantly in multiple directions. I looked for this video because I’m up to my ears in absolute chaos. 😂 I’ve got to at least get a screening, but I have a pretty sure sense that this is the issue. No clue if there is any safe treatment available. Sending hugs to you.
A lot of women who are diagnosed with ADHD later in life find out when they're mothers or if they experience burnout.
This is me… I’m nearly positive that I have it, I just haven’t been diagnosed. It makes so so much sense, and I will be seeing a doctor to be evaluated soon hopefully.
@@meh5069 just know self-diagnosis is the first step and is valid
@@rahbeeuh i still think im lazy and worthless and im just looking for an excuse:D i never had long tasks, but my thesis broke me.. maybe im not meant for studying idk.
Yeah once I had a child it’s like my issues got 10x worse.
This made me brake down, adhd has caused people to make many mean assumptions about me through out life… my self esteem has suffered due to the misunderstandings ❤️ it brakes my heart to think of the children in other place who are expected to function exceptionally even with sky scrapers of obstacles in front of them that no one else knows of 😞
I share the same sentiment - if was diagnosed at an early age, my life would've been significantly different. Maybe I wouldve still failed at most things, but at least I would know what I was capable of. Now that im being treated, the only meaningful life goal for me, has to be to encourage people to get screened early and get treatment ASAP.
I was diagnosed with adhd as a child and than diagnosed with adhd at the age of 24. Thank you so much for this video on women with adhd ♥️
It was good to see a video on women who have been diagnosed with ADHD as adults. 👍 I was not diagnosed until almost one year ago, at 50 years of age after a lifetime of suffering and searching for answers. I could really relate to your stories and I was filled with emotion.
Thank you women for spreading awareness and helping others! I’ll be 30 in 9 days and I am still struggling to receive help.
Wowwww. As an overprotected Afro-Latinx girl who was taught to be quiet and study my symptoms were basically non-existent until I was a teen. I was always late tho!! In hs I was known for lateness and "Pinocchio stories". I always had an excuse why something didn't get done. 🤣 In college, I changed my major 3x, it took me 6 years. I dropped a looottt of classes and took random ones. At 20 I was diagnosed w depression + anxiety, took meds for a long time but nothing really changed. I started smoking weed after this to cope in general.
Now in grad school I've lost so much time and money bc of failed courses. I have been avoiding my thesis for 2 years, it's been 4. Apparently my obsession with journaling + astrology is hyper-fixation??!! (Iykyk how much focus it requires!!) My mind is so blown! 😫🤯
I was just diagnosed and got meds 3 months ago. I'm 32 now and it's definitely a bittersweet kinda feeling to know that all this time I wasn't just lazy and stupid. Maybe my anxiety and depression really come from not being able to maintain the life everyone else seems to so easily obtain. But now I can do something about it, instead of beating myself up. I still feel like this diagnosis isn't real and an excuse as to why I've failed at adulthood. 🤦🏽♀️ Sending love and encouragement to all!!
AND I WILL FINISH MY THESIS!!!! (leaving this here for self-accountability. maybe it'll work this time. lol)
Love and encouragement to you too from another Afro-Latina with a late dx - go on and get that thesis done! ☺️
Hi. I was diagnosed 2 months ago at the age of 52. I thought I might drop you a line to give you a cheer on, no matter what is going on with your thesis, find some joy in the journey. ❤
i just got diagnosed yesterday and i am going through a cocktail of emotions about it. these stories are so helpful for me to hear! i don’t feel so alone with a late diagnosis.
You’re not alone a whole online community shares similar experiences
I’m 53 and have had an initial ADHD evaluation. Next, I’ll be speaking to a doctor to, hopefully, get an official diagnosis and treatment. I’m so tired of feeling dumb, trying to cover up my shortcomings and feeling not normal. I, also, have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety. God bless.
Same here, I’m struggling😔
thanks for shining a light on a condition that few know adults are afflicted too. well done, team CNA insider.
Thank you so much for this video. I feel like there isn't enough awareness about women with ADHD. I was diagnosed in my late 20s, and even now I am starting to realize how much this has affected every area of my life. At my diagnosis, I didn't really believe I actually had it, because my mother and sister were so much more symptomatic, and I was always the "organized one". But I developed coping skills naturally during periods of hyperfocus, such as multiple planners and calendars, lists, obsessively checking to make sure I didn't forget things, rigid schedules, etc. But when I started medication, went off on it, and started back, it has finally clicked how much ADHD has affected my emotions and made me feel like I'm stupid, like I'm not good enough, because I just couldn't get it, even though no one realizes how much I've always struggled, because I am so good at masking. Most of the time no one even can tell that I didn't hear a word they have said, or how frustrated I get at what is so easy for other people. I actually have been diagnosed with mood /mental health issues in the past that have completely resolved with medication. Thank you for raising awareness, because I think there are so many women that have such a hard time and have such low self esteem, who have never considered that this could be them.
The 50 year old lady looks amazing!!!
Wow this video was actually what started my healing journey and eventually I got diagnosed with adhd at 24 years old. So many years of hurt and struggle I finally have answers to my questions.
Thank you ladies for this video.
It feels supportive to see other women from different ethnic backgrounds go through Neurodiverse issues growing up. You really have to work harder to do everyday tasks unless it's something you want to do and enjoy.
When they started saying the times and age they got diagnosed i cried like a baby 😢 thank you so much for making this video and thank all those brilliantly strong woman too! The world NEEDS more of these types of videos! Dont stop!
I really appreciate this video. I finally see someone who looks like me open up about their struggles.
Thank you for sharing. It really helps me as my child is showing signs of ADHD. I'm scared but trying to be strong & bring her to the psychiatrist for confirmation😭
Really appreciating the API ADHD representation ❤️ I feels so seen and connected. I was diagnosed at 34 and so much of what was said resonates with me
This video was a lifesaver! It helped me recognize the need to get diagnosed with ADHD. And guess what? I absolutely nailed my ADHD exam! 😂
I am incredibly grateful for creating this video ❤
This means so much to me🥺 people still seeking help even as adults
I'm well into my 30s and i wonder if i have the same thing because i'm often late, i can't work alone and i get bored during conversations. When she said Dory i relate 100%!!
Thank you for such honest and humane stories. I have been aware of ADHD since my early 30s and always thought "that's so like me" but I have never the courage to pursue a diagnosis. Your testimonies have moved me that step closer to contacting my doctor. Thank you.
Same. I’ve always been suspicious that I have it but have been putting it off. I’m 35. I’ve struggled all my life. I’m calling my doctor this week.
A good friend just described her struggle yesterday at her birthday party and I encouraged her to go and find the right doctor who does not dismiss her painful experiences as "not really ADHD".
This year I was diagnosed with ADHD then my first week in the pills its like I finally felt peaceful relaxed etc
This is so enlightening, thanks for sharing. Salute!
Very inspiring ladies and bravo to the producers for making such good interviews!
I'm crying as I watch this because these stories highly resonate with me. I still haven't gotten my diagnosis (either I keep forgetting to make a schedule or I chicken out at the last minute) but I've always had a difficult time focusing on things I did not find interesting. It's really difficult to fail at normal things, especially as an adult (and as a leader/mentor) and I often find myself having an imposter syndrome just because I feel like I'm acting/masking my inabilities. I really wish things are easier for us but thank you to these wonderful women for sharing these stories. I feel less alone.
Cheyenne, I love that you mentioned Dori! I have just been diagnosed at 30 and I remember being given that nickname in my late teens!
Same. I can relate to everything. I've always just thought I'm dumb... I need to go to the doctor. Thank you ladies!
Your stories are inspiring! Thank you for telling your them to a younger generation (myself included) who were fortunate fortunate to have been diagnosed with ADHD at a young age and were able to get help. I cannot believe it was that difficult to go through, even by today’s standard.
Thank you thank you thank you!!! Im taking up medicine and feel validated by struggles of women who are in the same field.
I’m in the military, and I’ve had to fight and fight the behavioral health specialists for help. I’ve struggled with this my whole life, the same issues as these women. I was never diagnosed and never got the help I needed. Now I’m an adult, a soldier, and seeking help from these specialists, but they tell me I need “proof” that I struggled all my life, in order to receive a diagnosis and/or a medication. I’m extremely motivated and determined to succeed, but I need assistance. I need focus. Caffeine doesn’t help. I can’t stop fidgeting or sit still when I’m trying to learn to grow. I feel almost desperate.
also military here and I'm thinking about paying out of pocket for a specialist.
this was heartbreaking at moments, but also so eye-opening and helpful. Well made video, thank you for sharing!!
Ladies, thank you for sharing your stories. It was heart breaking listening to your struggles growing up. My 14yr old grandson has been diagnosed with ADHD when he was 6, and was given medication, but he doesn’t want to take it cuz he said ‘it made him feel like a zombie and loss of appetite’. Now, he feels like having ADHD is a curse, he’s been asked by teachers to leave class for being disruptive and talking over teachers. He doesn’t complete a simple task like cleaning his room or taking a shower, staying focused doing homework, every 5minutes he’s up and about. This video helped me understand the struggles he’s facing of having ADHD. Love the contents of this video-thanks again for sharing.
Thank you all for sharing
Change you are experiencing right now is a good one and it will have positive outcome. Your choice to walk this way was a good one and you won’t regret it. Feel free to move forward
Thank you women for your sharing! I'm sure this feature will benefit many who are struggling and have always wondered if they "deserve" the label.
Thank you for this video. I was recently diagnosed with ADHD and it makes so much sense now.
Me too! A light bulb went on....it ALL makes sense. I'm 48...it makes me so sad thinking about what I've gone through and how I was labeled and spoken too especially as a child.
@@csachtjen1 I understand completely! I’m 33 and was heartbroken when I thought abt all the years I struggled. I cried bc I’m like it wasn’t me being lazy or being too difficult for ppl to handle; it was out of my control.
@@poeticlovee I really mourned when I first realized that this wasn't my fault but try to remember that even at my advanced age;) I can still do and accomplish so much knowing this will no longer control my life
Thank you for this. I'm 32 and still trying to get someone to take me seriously about adhd, but I was a gifted kid. I test well, but never turn anything in. I set 15 alarms each day to make sure I'm on time. And I've "made it this far without medication for it". Ya, but the two antidepressants I'm on are no better. It's so hard to know your potential, but not be able to meet your potential. If I was flipping tables over in 5th grade, I'd have no problem getting a diagnosis. So frustrating.
CNA, do look into Comple Trauma or CPTSD. I suspect it's far more widespread in our society than we might realise, and my psychologist proposes that this is indeed the case (based on the many patients she has treated in her private practice), considering the authoritarian parenting style of older generation Singaporean parents. Ie. childhood emotional abuse and/or neglect, and cross-generational PTSD (WW2 wasn't that far behind us after all). I was misdiagnosed with ADHD when CPTSD is actually what I have. Anxiety, depression, lack of focus, inability to regulate moods, etc. are just symptoms at tip of the iceberg.
thank you ... thank you so much for spreading awareness :(
6:50
7:04
And the story behind that
Thankyou CNA
Thankyou Cheyenne
Eventhough I had good intention to pursue my PhD, deep down I know I was really tired with all of that. I had to motivate my self everyday to do the preparation and etc.
Cheyenne insight gave me the things I need to know. Maybe it's not the way for me to enjoy my life. Find something else. At least I know I was brave to try to pursue it, and stop when I finally understood it wasn't for me. No more sad. I let go. Thanks Cheyenne for sharing your story.
Thank you for making this video! I can relate so much.
I've been diagnosed at 34, the grief is real. 🤗
(And I know it wasn't even that late compared to other women 😱)
It’s fascinating how this is a fantastic step in reducing the stigma but is still done in a way where everything is half said, and toned down.. our culture really binds our knowledge about mental health…
I’ve only been diagnosed 2 days ago at age 26 and I already feel so much relief and a stronger sense of confidence
Another great content kudos to this channel.
I was diagnosed as ADHD 22 years ago when I was in my 30's .I used to drink 13 cups of coffee when I was in middle school, caffeine tablet at University. I wanted to jump from my classroom of my University (which is "one of the Good one" like Jnanee). It took too long to be understood. Thank you for helping women Especially in Asia.
I was diagnosed with ADHD and OCD when I was 10 years old. I understand what it’s like. I was disruptive in class, I got very very angry and aggressive, however I did get good grades. I did well in school but my behavior wasn’t always the best.
I can do relate to these ladies. Thanks for sharing.
My family has bipolar, but I have been struggling with focussing since my teens, I hope to speak with a psychiatrist soon to figure out what's going on. Bipolar meds helped a bit. But then I struggled with repetitive thinking of the past, and still struggled with staying organized, though I was more busy with work and school.
I definitely have undiagnosed ADHD. I remember my family mentioning to me that my childhood doctor said that I had ADHD… but my family did not address it… or believe it. All through my life I’ve struggled with school… I probably should’ve been in class for students with ADHD , I probably could’ve done better.
I think I might have ADHD and my psychologist thought it was a good idea to check for that as well.
I was sent to a special needs school and had to go an extra year in highschool. They told me that I had ”depression caused inability to focus, getting to lessons on time and planning my schoolwork”.
Because I was a smart kid and had good grades in elementary and middle school. I accepted that it was all because of depression and went on with my life. Fucked up in university, got into addiction, went to rehab and got sober, worked with myself. And thought that now I will be able manage life like a somewhat normal person. But I knew that I probably always would be a messy and unorganized person though.
I got into medical school (in my country you can be accepted only because of a good SAT kind of test, no matter your grades).
But I struggle so much and have struggled all these years. And I for sure haven’t been chronically depressed.
I’m so embarrassed of my struggles and it’s so hard to not hate myself for them. For having a mess at home, for not be able to organize, for not concentrating in class, for that my mom has to help my with many of these daily tasks.
And I’m so sad that I probably will get dismissed because I’m in med school and have passed everything so far...
I feel the same and thats why im scared to go to the doctor with it.. but my depression was literally bc I couldn't get things done as soon as i had to schedule my work on my own (thesis ). Am i just lazy? Worthless bc i cant get things done? I know im kinda smart but i feel like I cant use it... and the "just do it" phrase doesnt work at all...
Corona didnt make it better.. and I lost my boyfriend so i was suddenly completely on my own and responsible for myself... i suck lol :D
this is important to know about lots of things including diagnosis.
We hope this story encourages more people to come forward for formal diagnosis as psychiatrists have shared with us how life-changing that can be. If you're interested to know more about ADHD, we're hosting a Twitter Spaces event tomorrow 8pm (GMT+8). Join us at twitter.com/i/spaces/1eaKbNMvqRRKX :)
When you really need to go to doctor to check because you might have ADHD but dont have money.😅💔
You're not alone.
That was beautiful and I related so much. Thank you.
THIS WAS SO NECESSARY. THANK YOU.
I needed this video right now
I had the opposite of Moonlake Lee's experience. My husband is the one with ADHD. I've definitely been very irritated by his lack of awareness for time (I need to give him reminders for our outings hours in advance, but we'll still end up late). He is extremely messy and often loses his things. I plan most of our dates and vacations. And often I feel like he's not listening to what I'm saying. Combined with some autistic traits though, he has extreme focus on what he's interested in, and it's really hard to get him out of that zone to go eat and sleep. After years of arguing, I realised it's too difficult for him to work on these issues, so I eventually accepted it and stopped getting so worked up about things. He does notice and frequently express appreciation to me for helping him take care of little things and for planning fun activities, so I feel less crabby 😅.
Why is every single point so relatable??
I have not gotten myself checked bcs i don't want to be wrong for even wrongly guessing on me. But everything feels so hard. So so hard usual things that normal people just sail by....
Thank you every one 💞
Thank you for this
I was constantly berated for being lazy and stupid as a kid as well. Constantly forgot my homework, had a problem focussing and organizing my life, and often drifted into waking daydreams (brother was hyperactive as a child and immediately branded with ADHD; whereas I was socialized at a very young age to reel it all in so the symptoms weren't obvious). The interviewees' comments on their academic histories really resonated, in particular the skills required at the PhD level that are so very difficult for people with ADHD to get a grasp on. Thank you for this video; hopefully younger generations of SGean girls will get the help they need to thrive and do well in their adult lives.
Would love to see more of this, especially girls with autism
I can't even get a proper diagnose. The first thing my local doctor told me is that ADHD only happen to kids. I'm a grown adult so there is no way I have ADHD. The conversation got awkward after. I told him all my problem but he just dismiss everything. So I gave up. I thought I finally able to solve a problem that has plague me since I'm a kid but it seems its harder and frustrating than I thought.
im so sorry.. These doctors are obviously unaware or just doesnt care enough 😌
Look for a mental health clinic that will do an evaluation. I'm calling around to see what clinic can evaluate me. Best wishes to you.
Please switch doctors! I switched therapists until I got the answer I knew in my heart
Try another dr that doesn’t dismiss your concerns you need a dr to give you a referral to an adhd specialist for assessment
Getting this early is so important 💔 im 27 still struggling with an easy 3year degree.. i finished high school on record time. The anxiety changed, it used to fuel me but it started crippling me now i shut down and don't care n leave the test or exam or assignment..
Not me being shocked that Moonlake is even 50+… I thought she was in her 30s
I was diagnosed at the age of 8. My adhd morphed into severe anxiety. People around me thought I was doing this for attention. I hated myself for many things like saying "you're not good enough" or "try harder". That killed my confidence. I was put on several medicine. One worked but it affected my body. I felt like a robot. It took the majority of my life to finally find something that made me feel human again. I am so thankful to my mom for her support through all of this. She fought for me in school where I got the help I needed. Thanks to her I am where I am today.
i’m sobbing.
I’ve been dealing with depression ever since i can remember, maybe since I was around 10-11 years old. I was suicidal, helpless, at one point I even overdosing myself with medication, stop showering for days, hate my religion for no apparent reason, and all of all I felt like a loser. I always felt the wiring of my brain is a bit different, I do things differently, never agreeing with the majority. Some friend described my thinking as unique and weird.
I quit uni 3x, every time I quit I was just shying away to completing the course (left with 1 / 2 sem at most). I thought I was crazy. My highs can be so high and my lows can be so low, I have hard times dealing with my emotion.
Listening to this (I dont even know why I click to this), it felt like they were describing 90% of me since I was very young.
I’m confused now. Does that mean all this while I’m not lazy & crazy? Is there a chance that I just have a different brain wiring, which makes me like this? Gosh, I’m still trying to wrap my head around it.
if you're seeing a psychiatrist/psychologist, you should definitely try to check it out
You’re just wired differently I recommend going for an adhd assessment