Not sure this helps, but consider the balance - you’re not moving because you couldn’t stay where you were. You moved because where you were was not beneficial to your needs and requirements. Your comfort necessitated a more location and you found that. I hope the new home lives up to everything you deserve for a comfortable, accessible life.
Hi, Jo! I'm so glad to see your new apartment is working out for you. As an aquarist of more than 20 years, I wanted to drop in about Cid. Betta fish NEED heaters. You can get small, cheap ones, but without keeping the temperature between 76 and 82 degrees, Cid will have a very short, sick life. You also NEED a filter and this tank is far too small for literally any fish. The minimum for betta fish is 5 gallons. Properly cared for, betta fish can live for 5 years. Unfortunately, most don't make it past 6 months due to how they are kept. Inaccurate information regarding betta fish care is rampant. They show these tiny tanks in stores with betta fish in them and people think they are appropriate and safe. Staff definitely don't help things and the average consumer simply doesn't know what these fish need. The truth is that, in this tank, Cid will suffer chronic constipation from low temperatures and ammonia burns due to lack of filtration and space. He will likely just float near the top or settle on the bottom most of the time, lethargic and suffering. It's hard to recognize the suffering of fish since they can't vocalize or make expressions. I'd love to give more advice and recommendations if needed. I'm very passionate about fish and love sharing what I know. Cid deserves a long, happy life in your beautiful new apartment!
I'm so glad someone already came here to mention this! Definitely adding into the chorus chiming in, it's easy to be mislead with certain petcare especially if they're fish from big box stores.
Oh my gosh, this makes me feel HORRIBLE. I had many betta fish throughout my life in tiny little bowls, and I never understood why they died so quickly. I'm so angry that I was so mislead repeatedly about how to care for those beautiful fish. Thank you for this. If I ever get another betta, I will know where to start in giving it a proper home. Also, is it true that they have to be alone in a tank? That you can't have two?
This is one of my mums favourite quotes! “The strength isn’t managing everything on your own, it’s the ability to recognise your limits and accept help”
@@LaShumbraBatesAuDHD as a disabled teenager who has had 5 surgeries and counting, trust me when I say I know how difficult it is. I refused to use my walker for a year because I thought I was too good for it. It meant that eventually I would need another surgery because of the damage I had done. Now I use it everywhere I go. I pushes me forward, not back. It just took me a while to figure that out. Don’t make the same mistake I did. I hope you get better ❤️
@@awsomeness8664 Thanks so much. I will be having surgery on my messed up hip. I already have crutches & a cane (sadly rarely used even though needed), and wil soon possibly need a walker. Been reluctant to buy it. This may have done it. I guess the fact that I'm not elderly has a lot to do with it as well.
This is a lesson I’m still “learning” even in my 50s. There really is no honor in tearing your body up to prove how tough you are. It’s so hard though when so much of your identity is tied up in being a tough, badass. Love the new place! Yes, the pups are totally stealing the show…again.
Yeah, I'm late 40s myself and learning that it's tough and badass to stand up for your body and its limitations. It takes something I don't always have to say "NO, I'm not doing that right now/in that way, it's not good for me." There is strength in taking your limitations as a challenge rather than as a closed door. I'm currently not disabled but if I don't take care of myself (and perhaps even if I do) I'm very likely heading that way, so finding that balance of stuff that keeps me active without hurting myself is the current challenge, cause I feel way worse if I'm not active.
I can totally relate, sister. We are in the same "age", and as an independent woman, with no kids at home anymore; it's difficult to admit to "getting old". All the injuries I have are actually catching up to me, and I we just have to admit to "getting and accepting help". 😉
Sofi & Leo (apologies if I spelt the names wrong) have shown how much they approve of the move. Leo, in particular, seems to be there to provide complete moral support. I’ve had a couple of pets do that for me, and THEY KNOW. 🙂
Girl, you're speaking my language! Being born disabled, I never "saw" myself as disabled and have always struggled with my perception of how I think others think I appear. I never wanted to "look" disabled. I wore leg braces and used crutches, hated the idea of a wheelchair. Until I really needed one. Got a manual chair (much like yours, purple even!), wondered, "why didn't I do this sooner?" Then, I needed a motorized chair. Again, "why didn't I do this sooner?" And finally, the latest, my decision to chop off both of my legs above knee, to a lot of people's horror and doubts, only to come out SO much happier and "why didn't I do this sooner?" Now, I'm wondering what the next revelation will be! (Also, as I've aged, I've become less and less concerned about what people think and how I feel about being disabled, I guess that can be another "why didn't I do this sooner?").
Just got the part about the bathroom door. Amazon, Lowes, Home Depot, you name the large box stores or online ... they make these hinges called "offset door hinge". They are a simple unscrew your old hinge and screw in the new one and poof 1.5 to 2 inches wider doorway. If you don't own the place don't worry you can put the originals back on if you move. All it does is move the swing hinge point to the edge of the door molding. Hope this helps!
I get this a lot. I have EDS & since summer 2015, due to a foot injury, it feels like I am walking on legos. A couple months ago, I was in so much pain and felt a certain amount of defeated when I walked into the grocery store, looked at my partner, and said I can't do this I need to grab one of the wheelchairs... and that was the first week that I actually did not just completely collapse after doing the groceries & enjoyed the rest of my day in years. The next day I decided you know what, imma talk to my PT. Found out my PT went back to do more studies so had to update my new PT, and that first appointment he agreed that it would be beneficial to get one. I somehow got a Dr appointmen within 3 weeks with my GP, (october 13th) who wrote a Rx for one. The next day I called to schedule an appointment with an occupational therapist, they had an appointment for October 20th, and I have my first trial with a vendor next Tuesday. My GP was like, it will probably be like 4-6 months before you even get an appointment with the OT... so yeah 2 months ago I "gave up" but now I'm just thinking about all the things that I'll be able to do again!
Speaking of mobility aids, I am a rather large person. It is tiring, exhausting, and sometimes injurious constantly bending over to pick up things like my dogs toys, dog toy fluff, clothes, etc, etc. It's a huge effort for me to clean anything that isn't above waist level. I thought about getting one of those grabber tools, and expressed that interest to my mom, and she discouraged me... I'm not sure what she was worried about? Like, that I would just sit around all day with things in reach of the tool so I don't have to get up? Idk, there seemed to be some stigma about it with her. Anyway, eventually I finally decided to get one regardless of what my parents thought and it has been *so helpful* for me. Cleaning the house doesn't mean crouching or bending over 100's of times anymore. Still have trouble keeping up with things, but I seriously wish I had gotten one sooner.
I find things that can screw onto extendy handles or broomsticks are pretty handy for that whole not bending over thing cause I sometimes can't do that, my disabled tenant had a scrub brush on a broom handle for cleaning his bathtub. You do what you have to do to get done what you want done with the energy/abilities you have.
Yep... I've had to start using a cane this past year and have had to start using all sorts of mobility and other aids because of the lack of range of motion. Besides a pick-em-up claw (that's what they're called, right? haha), I also use a telescoping shoe horn, a device to put socks on, a foot scrubber for the shower, and a device for putting on lotion in hard to reach places like my feet and heels. It's sort of a long piece of smooth foam with a curved wooden handle. It's been a bit of a nuisance when traveling to have to take a bunch of the items, but still worth it! Stigma be damned!
When I was 25 and decided to go back to college, I quickly realized that I couldn't manage walking on campus . Disability Services loaned me a wheelchair. My father, who was a retirement village administrator, was convinced that I'd decline into total immobility and possibly die soon. So I reminded him that I was 25, not 75, and that I'd be walking whenever I could. Strangely, he seemed to believe that my using a wheelchair negated all that he'd done while I was growing up to encourage me to be as independent and mobile as possible. Ummm, no. Using the wheelchair enabled me to not be in pain, to get to classes on time, and to have the energy I needed as a single mother to achieve what I wanted to do (parenting, earning a degree & teaching credential, and working part-time to support myself and my child).
I've dropped things and just stared down at them thinking, "well, so much for that" because my hips are so painful I can't bend down to pick it up. I've been wanting one of those grabber things too but can't afford one. I'm glad you just went for it and got it. We should do what is best for our health.
I'm so glad this is working out for you!!! I think it's so ironic how things like a wheelchair and an accessible house that people tell disabled people we should resist and feel ashamed of and frame as "letting our limitations win" are actually the things that make us LESS limited! Working with your limitations instead of resisting them is freedom!!
it takes so much more courage to say no I can't do that at the moment. rather than saying yes I will do it but will be sore afterwards!!!! well done for respecting your body and listening to it!!! I am also limited in mobility and its a huge change but its open my eyes to a lot more. Thanks for sharing your life with us all!and for all the motivation! You rock!
I got a wheelchair myself because of you. It was funny, I was doing a phone interview to justify the wheelchair with my insurance and the lady asked how I got around the house before and I said "I hopped" she asked why I could no longer hop, rather than the truth (I was 51 years old and had just had a heart attack) I said "Well, the International House of Pancakes went out of business." She said, "What does that have to- oh...." then she started laughing hard. I figure if someone who has been an amputee for 48 years decides they need a wheel chair, there is no reason for you to feel bad about getting one. BTW This January will mark my 50th year as an amputee.
@@XSemperIdem5 I love when you tell a joke and the other person doesn't realize it's a joke at first. I had to go into the hospital for a problem with my bowels and when I explained this to the nurse she asked, "What is it?" I said, "It's a long tube in your belly where your food goes, but that's not important right now.." She got this delighted expression and said, "I can't believe that just happened. My boyfriend loves that movie and I can't wait to tell him this."
14:48 See? This is what the crochet is for. 😁 So often I'm being a cat pillow and crocheting something for myself. It's the best symbiotic relationship ever.
I'm facing a not dissimilar situation with my mental health, where I've been trying desperately to power through something which is causing me considerable harm, and am now trying to make peace with the possibility that the best thing for me is to step away. But the idea of how people may perceive that as failure, as weakness, let alone how I feel about "giving up" makes it so dang hard. But seeing you, making those really tough decisions and reaping the benefits... You might just change my life, for the better
I have experienced the same. I have several chronic mental illnesses and have myself accepted I'll never be able to work, but OTHER people around me, sometimes stupid nurses who don't know me, push me in a direction I'll never be able to get to. I wanna STOP trying so damn hard, use LESS effort, just accept I'm never gonna be like everyone else, because I have a very different set of challenges compared to most people. It's not about gaining a high function for me, it's about having life quality. Having a life worth living. Who cares if I can support myself financially or not? I want to WANT being alive, experience joy and feel harmony. I can never do that while pushing myself PAST all my limitations. I know that. I just wish the entire psychiatry would understand it. My doctor gets it. Life is not about fighting and maybe partially succeeding while feeling awful and crash, life is about experiencing happiness, contentment and harmony.
I really appreciate you making this. I’m in the process of trying so hard to move into a new place. My current living situation isn’t absolutely horrible, but it’s not great for my mental health either. Moving is absolutely scary and a pain in the ass. But seeing you move to better yourself and it feeling like home quickly gives me the hope that I might find something like that when the time comes for me. Congrats on the new home 💛
Thank you for being so open and honest. I also have mobility issues and go back and forth between walking with difficulty and using a wheelchair. You hit the nail on the head about the “guilt” of using the chair when you need a rest, and the self consciousness of not being able to walk into a room unnoticed. Also, often when walking with mobility aids, I can’t carry objects, so I use the chair. Best of luck to you, and thanks for the encouragement!
I'm so glad you were able to find a home where you can use your wheelchair to get around better. Removing unnecessary obstacles to your daily living sounds like such a relief
There is something so freeing in finally laying down the heavy weight of our own fiercely held expectations for ourselves and instead listening to what our bodies need and giving it to ourselves. It is such a gift! In my life, I have had many moments like you describe in this video. Where you resist, resist, resist, but then finally “give in” only to discover that there is more freedom, strength, and empowerment on the other side. Honestly, one of life’s great paradoxes. Much love to you, Jo! ❤ (And your dogs are so sweet 😭😭)
Had my right foot off on the 17th. That night in hospital i hopped across the room to get a zimmer frame that was left in the corner because i didn't want to pee in a cardboard bottle, i wanted to use the toilet. Since then i wanted to stick using the zimmer frame until i can get back into my i-walk in a couple of months but the OTs sent me out with a wheelchair that i was wary of using because i don't want to be seen to be "weak". Today i went out in the chair and despite some difficulties i just loved the fact that i was out of the house independently and i've changed my mind. I'm going to use whatever tool i have to retain independence and get outside of the house
First, the pups seem to have acclimated quite well, sound asleep. Congrats on the move and what it's doing for you. We mostly see the positive side of you thru these videos and don't get to see the things that you struggle with. Hands down you are one of the most positive people that I know. Thanks for sharing your life with us. I'm sure it helps many who struggle with similar issues and helps us understand all of the issues, big and small with living with a disability.
I’m fully enabled, for now, but when I bought the house I’m living in now I looked for something that I could age in place in and remodeled it with that in mind. I looked at my mom and late grandmothers to see where I would probably be physically in the next decade. All the main rooms are solid surface floors, zero entry shower with NO DOOR, fairly open concept floor plan, etc…. If/when I end up in a walker/wheel chair, I’ll have to do work in the kitchen and a bathroom sink, but the rest of the house is there already.
I really needed to hear this. I have adhd, and it’s currently unmediated because I haven’t found a medicine/dosage that works for me. I’m also in college. So being in an environment where I’m constantly pushing myself and trying to be the best, but also having a literal condition keeping me from doing what I want to do- it’s a pain. It doesn’t help that in high school I was surrounded by kids duel enrolling, and taking higher level classes, and there was me struggling to get one math assignment done. So your message at 6:32 really hit me. It’s hard to accept that my limit isn’t where I want it to be. So thank you, for that story. It really made me feel a bit better about everything. I’m so glad you’re happy in this new house, seeing your demeanor in this video compared to the last few about moving is like a night and day difference. I hope you enjoy living there for a long time ❤
In case you don't know, because schools don't always make it easy to find out, check for an accessibility department at your school. They can help get you accommodations for your courses, possibly including extra time for assignments or taking an exam in a room by yourself to avoid distractions. When I was in undergrad I signed up to take notes for a fellow student who had a learning disability. All I had to do was give her a copy of my notes. So that might be available to you too. Wishing you the best.
A year ago, I dropped out of school. I was in so much pain i hadn't turned in ANY assignments, the people I thought were my friends basically said "You're too sick - we're done" and I hated feeling like I was giving up, but it was also the ONLY viable option for me. my wheelchair took NINE MONTHS to get to me, but I could not be happier now that I'm back on campus, free of pain and with like, ACTUAL FRIENDS. People who think I'm like, a nice person. and want to hang out with me. and I'm not in agony, so I can actually be nice to them! it's good shit. I'm glad you get to experience the life you want.
You're my f'n hero. You are more honest on youtube than I am with my actual friends. I moved this year, 6 years after a relationship ended that I should have got out straight away, and I am still not facing everything. I am also twice your age. Thanks for showing me a better way.
Just wanted to thank you for this video. I'm not disabled, but recently I started having some issues with my feet. It' been very frustrating, because I'm still very young, and I feel like I'm in the prime of my life. I shouldn't be having restrictions in my body. At least, not ones I haven't "earned" by exercising, or by pushing myself. I should be able to do whatever I want! But that's not the reality, and even though my problem isn't serious, it was kind of a wake up call. Sometimes, there are just restrictions I have. Ones I was likely was born with, because my mother has the exact same issue.
I really appreciate how open you are about your struggles with interiorized ableism, it’s really hard to be in a position where you’re deeply aware of the problematic narratives of “overcoming disability” while still having to battle about your own ingrained beliefs about self worth in a society that equates abled bodiedness with value. I think anyone who starts using a mobility device goes through this process, personally your struggles with using a wheelchair resound with my experience using a cane. I’m happy to say I’m at a much better place with it now, but it’s definitely a journey
While I can't relate to the exact situation (I'm struggling with relatively new chronic illness as opposed to being an amputee), but I can relate to so many of the feelings in this video! Also, your puppies are so gosh darn precious and you must give them many snuggles for me!
I admire your renewed way of thinking and your gusto to grow from your previous trains of thought about mobility!! You will make your new house work for you, and you have the common sense to realize when you need help - the possible roommate situation. Sending love and prayers for the best health you can have - from a disabled mom of an amputee - have a great day!!
I'm so excited for you! What you are going through is so difficult and I'm so, so happy you are now reaping the benefits of the hard work you've gone through. Independence!
So happy for you!! I really wish my house was wheelchair accessible for me. It is all on one level but super small. I would not be able to navigate. I'm so glad that you have been able to make this change for yourself!
Happy to see you've moved into a place that's more accessible than your previous place. It's great that you were given a chair to use. I hope one day you can get one that is a better fit for you.
Thanks sooo much for this video. I may need to watch every day. I have not been embracing my limitations and the things I shouldn’t do. Hearing you talk about the strength needed to deal with our limitations was uplifting.
So glad to hear this move has made such a big difference for you! I wish you lots of happiness as you start this new chapter of your life in your new home
Yes I believe everything you are saying because you have both world in the palm of your hand everything is on first floor body does not have to work on everything
My husband is a prosthetist and I've learned much about the impact of his work by watching you! Thanks and congratulations on the new place! Your dogs WERE the stars of the video!! What sweeties!!
I myself have been disabled all of my life as someone with mild CP that affects just my legs. Growing up my parents always pushed me strongly to be like all the other "normal" kids. If I ever "gave into" my disability then I was sternly talked to, even punished for it. Leg braces were the only mobility aid that was accepted but most of time I was required and encouraged to hide them under pants. When I became a teenager is when I first started becoming friends with other disabled kids like myself, And this was not accepted by my parents and started years of war between us. They did not want me to be encouraged or hanging out with other disabled kids...especially ones who embraced their disability. Eventually I wanted to get into wheelchair sports such as basketball, but my parents were dead set against it and refused to let me have anything to do with it...but I began to do so behind their back. The first time I used a chair I was like...wow...this is so much easier...so much better to get around...I'm so much more at ease and comfortable. Shortly after I graduated high school I got my first wheelchair that was one that a friend of mine had that they had outgrown and gave to me. My parents didn't find out for about a year as I kept it in the trunk of my car...but when they did they decided enough was enough and that they would not have me any longer disgracing them and making them be the parents with the disabled kid...and shortly after told me to get out on my own. For two years after that we didn't speak. To this day they still don't like my mobility aids and it is understood that if I come to visit then I am to walk, leg braces are okay...but must be under pants. Now to your house vs mine. Like you I live in a Two story house, three if you count the basement. It's not ideal, but it works. Luckily my room is on the main level so I don't have to go upstairs a lot, expect to shower and do laundry. The rest of the house mostly is for roommates. Your so right about the bathroom. My wheelchair only fits through the master bathroom door which is upstairs...so like you I have.to just park my wheelchair outside and make my way through the door and to the toilet most of the time, but no big deal. Most of the time around the house I wheel. I do the cooking, cleaning, etc typically always from my chair...but if I need to stand and get something I can and do. And walk also from time to time as needed.
Thank you, I loved the things you said. It's absolutely true that acknowledging your limitations and doing the self care that's best for your body and mind takes its own kind of strength. I'm so glad the new place is working out well for you and that you're getting more comfortable in your chair. It's great to see.
I found your point on the strength of accepting and working within your limitations quite interesting and thought provoking. Always enjoying hearing your point of view and experience on the variety of topics you cover
I’m glad you’re happy with your safe place. I don’t begin to pretend I know what you are feeling, I just wanted to share with my back & knee I go to a trained physical therapist with a certificate in acupuncture. We do strengthening exercises but we also do acupuncture & it helps so much! Possibly consider giving it a go. It did take 3 sessions for me to really feel it. Now I go weekly for it. Can’t wait for more! ❤
Right as you were saying that everybody's attention will be distracted by the cute puppies I was staring at them for the last 30 seconds :)) They are sooo sweet! I'm happy for you that you have each other:) Wish you all the best in your new house, it's great that you chose to do what's best for your body!
I'm so happy you've moved! Congratulations Joe, we all love you and are always rooting for your happiness, and to hear that at least things are better/easier at this house, and the moving process is mostly over, is very lovely news :) we're happy for you!
Moving is tough on most people. We sold our old house because the stairs also led to the only bathroom. We wanted a new place with one level, walk-in shower, an an open floor plan which will accommodate my walker, and my scooter which I was planning on getting. This place had two walk-in showers & a bonus ramp! I've tried my new scooter chair & only one door is not so hot but the other side of the same room is very open. I would tell anyone, find a place that is just right for you even if you're not disabled but especially if you are. Being close to all my doctors & medical aid if I needed it (or my hubby) as well as shopping is a double bonus. Choose that for yourself too! I love your real attitude about everything. Keeping a sense of humor is key to dealing with life changing disAbilities is key to enjoying life come what may.
I'm so glad you're moved and comfortable in the new home!! New starts are hard, but seeing you pushing through the hard thing to get to the better thing makes it seem like none of us are here alone. On an unrelated note, I do see your betta fish Sid seems to be in distress. Would you like some specific resources for betta care? Love your channel!
Hello Joe, I am thrilled that you are in your new place. Healing your body will really help heal your soul and your mind. You have been run over by a freight train of change and loss and you NEED to find a happy place ... this seems like one. After my divorce I was upset but when my cat died shortly thereafter my world came totally crashing in on me .. that was the straw that dumped all the grief, stress, sorrow on my head so I can imagine how tough that was for you and your world was so much more complicated by physical pain on top of that. You are young and you will heal over time and you will find the balance and direction you need ... you are just that kind of person but let it happen in it's own time. By using the tools you have you actually increase your ability to do more and enjoy more because you aren't starting things out in pain before you even get going so I think you will explode into what will make you enjoy your life once you are better healed. If you do get a roommate, please be sure to ask your furry friends what they think ... their instincts will be your best guide to the real core of the person.
I am totally with you about the "stuck as a dog pillow" thing. I've had several moments where I've been stuck, like at 3 a.m. while sleeping on couch and wanting to turn off the suddenly blaring television. Ugh. Or being cramped between my roommate and my dog on the pull out couch bed because my knee is stiff and uncomfortable and my feet are falling asleep and I need to brush my teeth and use my nightly eyedrops. And then I realize that I left my eyeglasses behind on the windowsill, and despite promising myself I'll get them tomorrow, I forget where they are and they're lost forever for a few days without my even knowing they're lost. Isn't that crazy? How does that happen? Thank God I have a couple old pairs that still work.
I love your videos. They are incredibly motivational and honest. I appreciate your rawness. 10 years ago, I developed Meniere's Disease and lost lot of my hearing. I fought getting hearing aids for years. A year and a half ago, I got them. The message of listening to our bodies is so crucial! Thank you!
Wheelchair hack from a longtime wheeler. Replacing door hinges with double hinges gives you 2+ inches more doorway width because the door edge is no longer taking up space. You can buy them in any home improvement center and just replace the regular hinges and switch them back if you move. A real game changer, you can probably even clear your bathroom door. I also want to say I get how you feel about people's perceptions. I have to use a chair because I am paralyzed but spent years killing myself trying to be a "supercrip" who could do anything. Now that I'm older, and a little wiser, I take help where I can, like a ramp van and wheelchair power assist. Taking charge of how you manage YOU is a strength, not a weakness. You go girl!
Something I learned from another person with disabilities is JOMO. With disabilities, especially after we have just lost something we could do before, there is often a lot of FOMO or fear of missing out on stuff because you have to put your health first. This can be all kinds of stuff like going to a party, finishing that movie, completing that chore on your own, etc. JOMO or joy of missing out is a different way of looking at it. It is looking at all the things you can/could now do because you took care of your body first. For example because you didn't push yourself just to go to that party, you now are not completely unable to do anything the next day and can go on a lovely morning walk with your dog. Or because you took a break in the middle of a chore, you now are not in complete pain, but have the capability to not only finish it, but do it better or do more then you originally planned. This way of thinking has helped me a lot. Don't get me wrong I still ged sad or frustrated at times. But at other times I can appreciate that I took care of myself or be glad that I didn't push myself do something.
I thought that was the new place on the last video. I am glad the leasing company was able to get to relocated. Maybe they can do a lift for you and the wheelchair if you end up needing it. Listening to your body is very important now. I still tend to over do it and end up paying for it. The being able to admit you can do do stuff is difficult. I still am learning how to do it. It really is hard admitting I cannot do stuff, even though I am in a wheelchair. Life is hard and it can really suck sometimes. Having your pets definitely helps. I have German Shepherds as well. The act of just making sure they are taken care of helps me get through tough times. It also doesn’t hurt that they are cute and cuddly. Your videos are very helpful. I know you are not always happy and positive but that you can frame it that way, makes things not as bleak as I know some of them are. Great video, the new place looks great.
I am very sorry to hear about your divorce and your other dogs passing, Jo. You have such a positive attitude about everything. Thank you for the house tour. It is gorgeous!!!! Isn't crocheting the best?? I love to do that too. I find it very peaceful. Keep crocheting if you wish. I am glad you have a positive outlook about using your wheelchair too. I have bilateral leg lymphedema and arthritis/bone spurs in my knees so walking is very hard and painful. I, too, use a wheelchair and walker to get around now. I used to walk normally too. It is a long process. Thank you for sharing your story with us. God Bless You!
You can have as many fresh starts as you need to feel good. I know personally I've had a couple and I'm going to have more. Do what you need to do for you. That's really all that matters. ❤❤
Congrats on the new place and growth in your personal journey! I agree with not wanting to live with roommates. Maybe try one of those sites/apps where your neighbors can pay you to store their stuff in your extra space. 😁
My cats do what Leo is doing...on days where my body needs rest and I listen to my body...my body becomes a hoomen body pillow for my cats...my days of having to move are coming...I have badly injured both legs and one foot including the Achilles tendon...stairs are hard...I waited too long to take my meds for pain and they won't be as affective....I have to listen to my body and your words in this video will stick with me for a long time...I think I might do up a painting open your ears and Listen to your body...If I come up with a good painting I will send you a photo of it...Thanks Jo your videos really do brighten my day...Love and Hugs from Nova Scotia...
I refused to use my wheelchair at all for the first six months of having it. I saw it as giving in so would walk round with increasingly bad pain. One day I got in it and had an epiphany, wheelchairs are just a vessel to get us from one place to another, the same as legs. Using the chair means more energy for the things you really want to do. We also had to move to an adjusted house and wow, it’s wonderful to be able to access everything and not have to rely on my husband to get everything for me. It’s independence and enhances our lives.
Good for you! You are a model for us all. Growth comes in many ways, not all of which are “normal.” In fact the BEST ones are the those unexpected benefits that free us to excel in ways we would have never predicted. Taking care of yourself opens the door to new adventures of ALL kinds.
I want to thank you for being so open and candid about this. I'm at a point where I am realizing that a wheelchair would be so helpful for longer distances. I took the step to get a loaner. I haven't used it yet... I'm not there yet. But I made that first step at least.
Proud of you, Jo! Congratulations on on the new home. Thanks so much for the talk, tour, and sleepy puppy time. (My doggos interrupted me at least five times during this video, lol ) It helps me to remember that what we see on social media, like Instagram, is people's good days and carefully curated shots. Jessica Kellgran-Fozard has a recent video, "don't judge me by my good days," if anyone's interested.
Jo I want you to know that, as a chronic pain sufferer, I really admire, appreciate, and look up to you!! Much love from OH 💕 ETA: There may be a go pro attachment that would let you roll your chair and film. A family member of mine was in an electric chair so I have some ideas of attachments you could try.
You're last video really helped me come to terms with the fact I need a wheelchair, and it was really annoying. I completely understand the feeling that you are less of a "good" disabled person if you need aid. Especially since I just started needing a mobility aid and realizing that my body is getting worse not better was hard to deal with emotionally. I love your videos, and they've helped me a lot! Thank you!
Omg yay you crochet!! I do too I love it so much I use it as therapy to unwind and keep my depressive thoughts away. Keep going Jo, do what you can. And when you can't, either adapt or just don't do it because you're a human not machine. Much love to you Jo! ❤️
I SO appreciate this. I'm in year 4 of an autoimmune disorder. I've been putting off something so simple- installing rails for back door so I can get out safely. I'm happy for you taking care of you. Dealing with all your needs can be so overwhelming. Your dogs know what's important though-Pillow Jo!
I've said it before and I'll say it again; you are wise beyond your years! I'm struggling with accepting my limitations following recovery from 2 brain surgeries last year. It's over a year later and I still don't feel 100% back to normal. As frustrating as it has been, I've only recently started to actively adapt to this new reality. Thanks for being you! Blessings!
wow girlie. what a change in you. For the better i must add. Its a huge thing to move on to a wheelchair. i cried while being fitted and when i collected it. But kicked myself i had struggled so long and not done this before. i love i can glide around our home. i can carry thins on my lap. house not fully wheelchair freindly but we love it here and adapting. enjoy every second of that chair. its part of you now , like putting on sock or a shoe. Keep that smile going. hereford England. HUGE ps......... you may feel your not ready but please, from one who has made this choice and yet another mile stone... Get a few rails in that bathroom. Once using your chair you may use your leg less in the house. So easy to forget that the reach from door to the sink you use for support maybe an inch or two shorter on bad days. There are some really nice looking ones. I went for slightly longer ones and place a small towel on mine. More of an accesory and less "disabled" looking. . Middle of the night, groggy , in pain, mind not quite awake yet. Wash hands, turn, slip .. break nose.... Yep did that so the rails went up. May only need one but soooo worth it.
Every day is an oportunity to start possitive. Moving was NOT a failing. It was an oportunity to move to a place that was better for you. Change is hard. Loss is harder and when its stacked up its like an immovable wall. One day , even one minute at a time. You've got this Jo.
After my time with the Iwalk and crutches. I have nothing but respect for people needing these mobility tools their entire life. I just needed them temporarily (hopefully) it was a real struggle. People with mobility troubles are real warriors PS I like your candles
I am going through this with my rheumatoid arthritis and fibromyalgia. My joints and fatigue are causing limitations that are hard to deal with. My walker is going to be my permanent aid from now on. I am have to mentally adjust to my limitations. So hard to do. You inspire me and lift me up in my low times.
So glad the new home had such a positive impact. I can understand the initial bad feelings- it sounds like a lot of changes happened in your life that you didn't have a lot of control in, in a short period of time. Your body forcing you to move probably felt like yet another thing happening TO you, rather than a free choice you were making. So happy things have turned around!
OMG! Yes! I am so happy for you! I need a open place like you now have because gout, neuapathy, and degeneration of my bones changes my mobility from day to day. I love to listen to you. You help people by sharing your life. Your dogs are wonderful and do steal the show a bit! Congratulations Jo! ❤
Saving this video. So well explained. So well worded. *Listened to What My Body Needed* I'm not an amputee, but am disabled - you've arrived at a realization it took ME a long time to realize too. *Thank You*
For the Outdoor you can consider to buy an Automatic door lock the one has an camera and everything so with the one switch from the upstairs you can open the door
Your couch looks so comfy, and clearly your dogs are enjoying all the space to sprawl out on it. ☺️ Do you remember what kind of couch it is, and where you got it? I’m in the market for a new couch, and yours looks awesome. 😁 Great looking house by the way! I’m glad it is much more accessible for you and makes life easier. 😊
I have to admit, I was listening to you but watching the sleepy pups. :) I've discovered that a good calming thing for me is watching my dog sleep. It's therapeutic to me.
As an aging adult I often forget that my body is NOT one of a younger person. Just this week I lifted something at work that used to be no problem. Its slowly becoming a problem and I paid for it with back pain the rest of the week.... I must remember that this body is over 60 and I may need help getting those heavy boxes down. Just admiting that to myself and my coworkers is something I'm getting my head around. It feels shameful that I can't do what I once did, but the alternative is going to be possibly permanently damaging my body, so next week and moving forward I will be asking for help.
Not sure this helps, but consider the balance - you’re not moving because you couldn’t stay where you were. You moved because where you were was not beneficial to your needs and requirements. Your comfort necessitated a more location and you found that. I hope the new home lives up to everything you deserve for a comfortable, accessible life.
Hi, Jo! I'm so glad to see your new apartment is working out for you.
As an aquarist of more than 20 years, I wanted to drop in about Cid. Betta fish NEED heaters. You can get small, cheap ones, but without keeping the temperature between 76 and 82 degrees, Cid will have a very short, sick life. You also NEED a filter and this tank is far too small for literally any fish. The minimum for betta fish is 5 gallons. Properly cared for, betta fish can live for 5 years. Unfortunately, most don't make it past 6 months due to how they are kept.
Inaccurate information regarding betta fish care is rampant. They show these tiny tanks in stores with betta fish in them and people think they are appropriate and safe. Staff definitely don't help things and the average consumer simply doesn't know what these fish need.
The truth is that, in this tank, Cid will suffer chronic constipation from low temperatures and ammonia burns due to lack of filtration and space. He will likely just float near the top or settle on the bottom most of the time, lethargic and suffering. It's hard to recognize the suffering of fish since they can't vocalize or make expressions.
I'd love to give more advice and recommendations if needed. I'm very passionate about fish and love sharing what I know.
Cid deserves a long, happy life in your beautiful new apartment!
fish are also even more beautiful when they're happy and healthy :D
Thank you for speaking for the fish and politely educating her! Very accurate information too. Love this!
Awesome to see someone already wrote about the issue with the tank. And in such an nice way too!
I'm so glad someone already came here to mention this! Definitely adding into the chorus chiming in, it's easy to be mislead with certain petcare especially if they're fish from big box stores.
Oh my gosh, this makes me feel HORRIBLE. I had many betta fish throughout my life in tiny little bowls, and I never understood why they died so quickly. I'm so angry that I was so mislead repeatedly about how to care for those beautiful fish. Thank you for this. If I ever get another betta, I will know where to start in giving it a proper home. Also, is it true that they have to be alone in a tank? That you can't have two?
This is one of my mums favourite quotes!
“The strength isn’t managing everything on your own, it’s the ability to recognise your limits and accept help”
and that, truthfully, IS a huge strength.
That's something that I need to work on. I am basically damaging myself not asking for help.
Uggggghhh that’s so HARRRRRD!
@@LaShumbraBatesAuDHD as a disabled teenager who has had 5 surgeries and counting, trust me when I say I know how difficult it is. I refused to use my walker for a year because I thought I was too good for it. It meant that eventually I would need another surgery because of the damage I had done.
Now I use it everywhere I go. I pushes me forward, not back. It just took me a while to figure that out.
Don’t make the same mistake I did. I hope you get better ❤️
@@awsomeness8664 Thanks so much.
I will be having surgery on my messed up hip. I already have crutches & a cane (sadly rarely used even though needed), and wil soon possibly need a walker. Been reluctant to buy it. This may have done it. I guess the fact that I'm not elderly has a lot to do with it as well.
This is a lesson I’m still “learning” even in my 50s. There really is no honor in tearing your body up to prove how tough you are. It’s so hard though when so much of your identity is tied up in being a tough, badass.
Love the new place! Yes, the pups are totally stealing the show…again.
Yeah, I'm late 40s myself and learning that it's tough and badass to stand up for your body and its limitations. It takes something I don't always have to say "NO, I'm not doing that right now/in that way, it's not good for me." There is strength in taking your limitations as a challenge rather than as a closed door. I'm currently not disabled but if I don't take care of myself (and perhaps even if I do) I'm very likely heading that way, so finding that balance of stuff that keeps me active without hurting myself is the current challenge, cause I feel way worse if I'm not active.
I read this in worfs voice and I think he would agree
I can totally relate, sister.
We are in the same "age", and as an independent woman, with no kids at home anymore; it's difficult to admit to "getting old".
All the injuries I have are actually catching up to me, and I we just have to admit to "getting and accepting help". 😉
Sofi & Leo (apologies if I spelt the names wrong) have shown how much they approve of the move. Leo, in particular, seems to be there to provide complete moral support. I’ve had a couple of pets do that for me, and THEY KNOW. 🙂
My cats seem to sense when i have a panic attack, they don’t cuddle but the give me some love when i need it most
Girl, you're speaking my language! Being born disabled, I never "saw" myself as disabled and have always struggled with my perception of how I think others think I appear. I never wanted to "look" disabled. I wore leg braces and used crutches, hated the idea of a wheelchair. Until I really needed one. Got a manual chair (much like yours, purple even!), wondered, "why didn't I do this sooner?" Then, I needed a motorized chair. Again, "why didn't I do this sooner?" And finally, the latest, my decision to chop off both of my legs above knee, to a lot of people's horror and doubts, only to come out SO much happier and "why didn't I do this sooner?" Now, I'm wondering what the next revelation will be!
(Also, as I've aged, I've become less and less concerned about what people think and how I feel about being disabled, I guess that can be another "why didn't I do this sooner?").
That a great story!
Keep it up! I'm dealing with my bk
Just got the part about the bathroom door. Amazon, Lowes, Home Depot, you name the large box stores or online ... they make these hinges called "offset door hinge". They are a simple unscrew your old hinge and screw in the new one and poof 1.5 to 2 inches wider doorway. If you don't own the place don't worry you can put the originals back on if you move. All it does is move the swing hinge point to the edge of the door molding. Hope this helps!
I get this a lot. I have EDS & since summer 2015, due to a foot injury, it feels like I am walking on legos. A couple months ago, I was in so much pain and felt a certain amount of defeated when I walked into the grocery store, looked at my partner, and said I can't do this I need to grab one of the wheelchairs... and that was the first week that I actually did not just completely collapse after doing the groceries & enjoyed the rest of my day in years. The next day I decided you know what, imma talk to my PT. Found out my PT went back to do more studies so had to update my new PT, and that first appointment he agreed that it would be beneficial to get one. I somehow got a Dr appointmen within 3 weeks with my GP, (october 13th) who wrote a Rx for one. The next day I called to schedule an appointment with an occupational therapist, they had an appointment for October 20th, and I have my first trial with a vendor next Tuesday. My GP was like, it will probably be like 4-6 months before you even get an appointment with the OT... so yeah 2 months ago I "gave up" but now I'm just thinking about all the things that I'll be able to do again!
🙏
At 0:52 Leo is seemingly exploring your leg like: “Are you sure I can’t eat this!?” Curiosity is so cute. 😅
I thought he was going to lick it 😅 but he remained very polite. I think he was trying to figure out a good spot to use as a pillow.
You're looking pretty good in your wheelchair hey!
Best quote of the year 😀! “There is no greater job than being a pillow for a dog” - Jo 2022. So true ☺️.
Speaking of mobility aids, I am a rather large person. It is tiring, exhausting, and sometimes injurious constantly bending over to pick up things like my dogs toys, dog toy fluff, clothes, etc, etc. It's a huge effort for me to clean anything that isn't above waist level. I thought about getting one of those grabber tools, and expressed that interest to my mom, and she discouraged me... I'm not sure what she was worried about? Like, that I would just sit around all day with things in reach of the tool so I don't have to get up? Idk, there seemed to be some stigma about it with her.
Anyway, eventually I finally decided to get one regardless of what my parents thought and it has been *so helpful* for me. Cleaning the house doesn't mean crouching or bending over 100's of times anymore. Still have trouble keeping up with things, but I seriously wish I had gotten one sooner.
I find things that can screw onto extendy handles or broomsticks are pretty handy for that whole not bending over thing cause I sometimes can't do that, my disabled tenant had a scrub brush on a broom handle for cleaning his bathtub. You do what you have to do to get done what you want done with the energy/abilities you have.
Yep... I've had to start using a cane this past year and have had to start using all sorts of mobility and other aids because of the lack of range of motion. Besides a pick-em-up claw (that's what they're called, right? haha), I also use a telescoping shoe horn, a device to put socks on, a foot scrubber for the shower, and a device for putting on lotion in hard to reach places like my feet and heels. It's sort of a long piece of smooth foam with a curved wooden handle. It's been a bit of a nuisance when traveling to have to take a bunch of the items, but still worth it! Stigma be damned!
When I was 25 and decided to go back to college, I quickly realized that I couldn't manage walking on campus . Disability Services loaned me a wheelchair. My father, who was a retirement village administrator, was convinced that I'd decline into total immobility and possibly die soon. So I reminded him that I was 25, not 75, and that I'd be walking whenever I could. Strangely, he seemed to believe that my using a wheelchair negated all that he'd done while I was growing up to encourage me to be as independent and mobile as possible. Ummm, no. Using the wheelchair enabled me to not be in pain, to get to classes on time, and to have the energy I needed as a single mother to achieve what I wanted to do (parenting, earning a degree & teaching credential, and working part-time to support myself and my child).
I've dropped things and just stared down at them thinking, "well, so much for that" because my hips are so painful I can't bend down to pick it up. I've been wanting one of those grabber things too but can't afford one. I'm glad you just went for it and got it. We should do what is best for our health.
@@XSemperIdem5 The one I got was about $12 on Amazon... saved me a lot of stress and frustration.
I'm so glad this is working out for you!!! I think it's so ironic how things like a wheelchair and an accessible house that people tell disabled people we should resist and feel ashamed of and frame as "letting our limitations win" are actually the things that make us LESS limited! Working with your limitations instead of resisting them is freedom!!
it takes so much more courage to say no I can't do that at the moment. rather than saying yes I will do it but will be sore afterwards!!!! well done for respecting your body and listening to it!!! I am also limited in mobility and its a huge change but its open my eyes to a lot more.
Thanks for sharing your life with us all!and for all the motivation! You rock!
It’s hard, but you start to learn how far you can reasonably push yourself without the huge payback.
I got a wheelchair myself because of you.
It was funny, I was doing a phone interview to justify the wheelchair with my insurance and the lady asked how I got around the house before and I said "I hopped" she asked why I could no longer hop, rather than the truth (I was 51 years old and had just had a heart attack) I said "Well, the International House of Pancakes went out of business."
She said, "What does that have to- oh...." then she started laughing hard.
I figure if someone who has been an amputee for 48 years decides they need a wheel chair, there is no reason for you to feel bad about getting one.
BTW This January will mark my 50th year as an amputee.
Omg I love your response 😂
@@XSemperIdem5 I love when you tell a joke and the other person doesn't realize it's a joke at first.
I had to go into the hospital for a problem with my bowels and when I explained this to the nurse she asked, "What is it?"
I said, "It's a long tube in your belly where your food goes, but that's not important right now.."
She got this delighted expression and said, "I can't believe that just happened. My boyfriend loves that movie and I can't wait to tell him this."
14:48 See? This is what the crochet is for. 😁 So often I'm being a cat pillow and crocheting something for myself. It's the best symbiotic relationship ever.
YAY!!! New home makes you almost pain-free, and the angst is gone too!! Very glad you're happier now Jo.
I'm facing a not dissimilar situation with my mental health, where I've been trying desperately to power through something which is causing me considerable harm, and am now trying to make peace with the possibility that the best thing for me is to step away. But the idea of how people may perceive that as failure, as weakness, let alone how I feel about "giving up" makes it so dang hard. But seeing you, making those really tough decisions and reaping the benefits... You might just change my life, for the better
I have experienced the same. I have several chronic mental illnesses and have myself accepted I'll never be able to work, but OTHER people around me, sometimes stupid nurses who don't know me, push me in a direction I'll never be able to get to. I wanna STOP trying so damn hard, use LESS effort, just accept I'm never gonna be like everyone else, because I have a very different set of challenges compared to most people. It's not about gaining a high function for me, it's about having life quality. Having a life worth living. Who cares if I can support myself financially or not? I want to WANT being alive, experience joy and feel harmony. I can never do that while pushing myself PAST all my limitations. I know that. I just wish the entire psychiatry would understand it. My doctor gets it. Life is not about fighting and maybe partially succeeding while feeling awful and crash, life is about experiencing happiness, contentment and harmony.
I really appreciate you making this.
I’m in the process of trying so hard to move into a new place. My current living situation isn’t absolutely horrible, but it’s not great for my mental health either. Moving is absolutely scary and a pain in the ass. But seeing you move to better yourself and it feeling like home quickly gives me the hope that I might find something like that when the time comes for me. Congrats on the new home 💛
Thank you for being so open and honest. I also have mobility issues and go back and forth between walking with difficulty and using a wheelchair. You hit the nail on the head about the “guilt” of using the chair when you need a rest, and the self consciousness of not being able to walk into a room unnoticed. Also, often when walking with mobility aids, I can’t carry objects, so I use the chair. Best of luck to you, and thanks for the encouragement!
I'm so glad you were able to find a home where you can use your wheelchair to get around better. Removing unnecessary obstacles to your daily living sounds like such a relief
There is something so freeing in finally laying down the heavy weight of our own fiercely held expectations for ourselves and instead listening to what our bodies need and giving it to ourselves. It is such a gift!
In my life, I have had many moments like you describe in this video. Where you resist, resist, resist, but then finally “give in” only to discover that there is more freedom, strength, and empowerment on the other side. Honestly, one of life’s great paradoxes.
Much love to you, Jo! ❤
(And your dogs are so sweet 😭😭)
I love how your dog lays right on your leg where your injury was, my dog does the same thing. Amazing!
Had my right foot off on the 17th. That night in hospital i hopped across the room to get a zimmer frame that was left in the corner because i didn't want to pee in a cardboard bottle, i wanted to use the toilet. Since then i wanted to stick using the zimmer frame until i can get back into my i-walk in a couple of months but the OTs sent me out with a wheelchair that i was wary of using because i don't want to be seen to be "weak".
Today i went out in the chair and despite some difficulties i just loved the fact that i was out of the house independently and i've changed my mind. I'm going to use whatever tool i have to retain independence and get outside of the house
First, the pups seem to have acclimated quite well, sound asleep. Congrats on the move and what it's doing for you. We mostly see the positive side of you thru these videos and don't get to see the things that you struggle with. Hands down you are one of the most positive people that I know. Thanks for sharing your life with us. I'm sure it helps many who struggle with similar issues and helps us understand all of the issues, big and small with living with a disability.
“It takes more strength to acknowledge limitations.” -rough quote
Amen amen amen. Go Jo I’m happy for you 😊
I’m fully enabled, for now, but when I bought the house I’m living in now I looked for something that I could age in place in and remodeled it with that in mind. I looked at my mom and late grandmothers to see where I would probably be physically in the next decade. All the main rooms are solid surface floors, zero entry shower with NO DOOR, fairly open concept floor plan, etc…. If/when I end up in a walker/wheel chair, I’ll have to do work in the kitchen and a bathroom sink, but the rest of the house is there already.
I really needed to hear this. I have adhd, and it’s currently unmediated because I haven’t found a medicine/dosage that works for me. I’m also in college. So being in an environment where I’m constantly pushing myself and trying to be the best, but also having a literal condition keeping me from doing what I want to do- it’s a pain. It doesn’t help that in high school I was surrounded by kids duel enrolling, and taking higher level classes, and there was me struggling to get one math assignment done. So your message at 6:32 really hit me. It’s hard to accept that my limit isn’t where I want it to be. So thank you, for that story. It really made me feel a bit better about everything. I’m so glad you’re happy in this new house, seeing your demeanor in this video compared to the last few about moving is like a night and day difference. I hope you enjoy living there for a long time ❤
In case you don't know, because schools don't always make it easy to find out, check for an accessibility department at your school. They can help get you accommodations for your courses, possibly including extra time for assignments or taking an exam in a room by yourself to avoid distractions.
When I was in undergrad I signed up to take notes for a fellow student who had a learning disability. All I had to do was give her a copy of my notes. So that might be available to you too.
Wishing you the best.
A year ago, I dropped out of school. I was in so much pain i hadn't turned in ANY assignments, the people I thought were my friends basically said "You're too sick - we're done" and I hated feeling like I was giving up, but it was also the ONLY viable option for me. my wheelchair took NINE MONTHS to get to me, but I could not be happier now that I'm back on campus, free of pain and with like, ACTUAL FRIENDS. People who think I'm like, a nice person. and want to hang out with me. and I'm not in agony, so I can actually be nice to them! it's good shit. I'm glad you get to experience the life you want.
You're my f'n hero. You are more honest on youtube than I am with my actual friends. I moved this year, 6 years after a relationship ended that I should have got out straight away, and I am still not facing everything.
I am also twice your age.
Thanks for showing me a better way.
Just wanted to thank you for this video. I'm not disabled, but recently I started having some issues with my feet. It' been very frustrating, because I'm still very young, and I feel like I'm in the prime of my life. I shouldn't be having restrictions in my body. At least, not ones I haven't "earned" by exercising, or by pushing myself. I should be able to do whatever I want! But that's not the reality, and even though my problem isn't serious, it was kind of a wake up call. Sometimes, there are just restrictions I have. Ones I was likely was born with, because my mother has the exact same issue.
I really appreciate how open you are about your struggles with interiorized ableism, it’s really hard to be in a position where you’re deeply aware of the problematic narratives of “overcoming disability” while still having to battle about your own ingrained beliefs about self worth in a society that equates abled bodiedness with value. I think anyone who starts using a mobility device goes through this process, personally your struggles with using a wheelchair resound with my experience using a cane. I’m happy to say I’m at a much better place with it now, but it’s definitely a journey
While I can't relate to the exact situation (I'm struggling with relatively new chronic illness as opposed to being an amputee), but I can relate to so many of the feelings in this video! Also, your puppies are so gosh darn precious and you must give them many snuggles for me!
I admire your renewed way of thinking and your gusto to grow from your previous trains of thought about mobility!! You will make your new house work for you, and you have the common sense to realize when you need help - the possible roommate situation. Sending love and prayers for the best health you can have - from a disabled mom of an amputee - have a great day!!
I'm so excited for you! What you are going through is so difficult and I'm so, so happy you are now reaping the benefits of the hard work you've gone through. Independence!
Being in a place where you can listen to your body is such a game-changer. So glad it worked out for you!
Congrats on you move - physically and mentally. Keep honouring yourself.
So happy for you!! I really wish my house was wheelchair accessible for me. It is all on one level but super small. I would not be able to navigate. I'm so glad that you have been able to make this change for yourself!
It's so good that the move helped so much so quickly it's awesome to hear you enthusiastic about how it's going again
Happy to see you've moved into a place that's more accessible than your previous place. It's great that you were given a chair to use. I hope one day you can get one that is a better fit for you.
Thanks sooo much for this video. I may need to watch every day. I have not been embracing my limitations and the things I shouldn’t do. Hearing you talk about the strength needed to deal with our limitations was uplifting.
So glad to hear this move has made such a big difference for you! I wish you lots of happiness as you start this new chapter of your life in your new home
I went through a simile dark period of my life, so I hear you there. I'm happy that you're doing better!
As someone who works in healthcare I'm grateful you have found an insurance that not as stupid 💜
I love how the dogs just lay there next to you they are so cute 🐕💖
Yes I believe everything you are saying because you have both world in the palm of your hand everything is on first floor body does not have to work on everything
My husband is a prosthetist and I've learned much about the impact of his work by watching you! Thanks and congratulations on the new place! Your dogs WERE the stars of the video!! What sweeties!!
It's great to see you upbeat and smiling. So glad that you found a place that works for you. ❤️
I myself have been disabled all of my life as someone with mild CP that affects just my legs. Growing up my parents always pushed me strongly to be like all the other "normal" kids. If I ever "gave into" my disability then I was sternly talked to, even punished for it. Leg braces were the only mobility aid that was accepted but most of time I was required and encouraged to hide them under pants.
When I became a teenager is when I first started becoming friends with other disabled kids like myself, And this was not accepted by my parents and started years of war between us. They did not want me to be encouraged or hanging out with other disabled kids...especially ones who embraced their disability. Eventually I wanted to get into wheelchair sports such as basketball, but my parents were dead set against it and refused to let me have anything to do with it...but I began to do so behind their back. The first time I used a chair I was like...wow...this is so much easier...so much better to get around...I'm so much more at ease and comfortable.
Shortly after I graduated high school I got my first wheelchair that was one that a friend of mine had that they had outgrown and gave to me. My parents didn't find out for about a year as I kept it in the trunk of my car...but when they did they decided enough was enough and that they would not have me any longer disgracing them and making them be the parents with the disabled kid...and shortly after told me to get out on my own. For two years after that we didn't speak. To this day they still don't like my mobility aids and it is understood that if I come to visit then I am to walk, leg braces are okay...but must be under pants.
Now to your house vs mine. Like you I live in a Two story house, three if you count the basement. It's not ideal, but it works. Luckily my room is on the main level so I don't have to go upstairs a lot, expect to shower and do laundry. The rest of the house mostly is for roommates.
Your so right about the bathroom. My wheelchair only fits through the master bathroom door which is upstairs...so like you I have.to just park my wheelchair outside and make my way through the door and to the toilet most of the time, but no big deal.
Most of the time around the house I wheel. I do the cooking, cleaning, etc typically always from my chair...but if I need to stand and get something I can and do. And walk also from time to time as needed.
Always do what's best for you, not what other people think is best for you.
Thank you, I loved the things you said. It's absolutely true that acknowledging your limitations and doing the self care that's best for your body and mind takes its own kind of strength. I'm so glad the new place is working out well for you and that you're getting more comfortable in your chair. It's great to see.
I found your point on the strength of accepting and working within your limitations quite interesting and thought provoking. Always enjoying hearing your point of view and experience on the variety of topics you cover
I’m glad you’re happy with your safe place. I don’t begin to pretend I know what you are feeling, I just wanted to share with my back & knee I go to a trained physical therapist with a certificate in acupuncture. We do strengthening exercises but we also do acupuncture & it helps so much! Possibly consider giving it a go. It did take 3 sessions for me to really feel it. Now I go weekly for it. Can’t wait for more! ❤
Right as you were saying that everybody's attention will be distracted by the cute puppies I was staring at them for the last 30 seconds :)) They are sooo sweet! I'm happy for you that you have each other:) Wish you all the best in your new house, it's great that you chose to do what's best for your body!
Congratulations on the move!
I'm so happy you've moved! Congratulations Joe, we all love you and are always rooting for your happiness, and to hear that at least things are better/easier at this house, and the moving process is mostly over, is very lovely news :) we're happy for you!
Moving is tough on most people. We sold our old house because the stairs also led to the only bathroom. We wanted a new place with one level, walk-in shower, an an open floor plan which will accommodate my walker, and my scooter which I was planning on getting. This place had two walk-in showers & a bonus ramp! I've tried my new scooter chair & only one door is not so hot but the other side of the same room is very open. I would tell anyone, find a place that is just right for you even if you're not disabled but especially if you are. Being close to all my doctors & medical aid if I needed it (or my hubby) as well as shopping is a double bonus. Choose that for yourself too! I love your real attitude about everything. Keeping a sense of humor is key to dealing with life changing disAbilities is key to enjoying life come what may.
Happy for you Jo. I love following your journey. Some of your videos feel like a hug.
I'm so glad you're moved and comfortable in the new home!! New starts are hard, but seeing you pushing through the hard thing to get to the better thing makes it seem like none of us are here alone.
On an unrelated note, I do see your betta fish Sid seems to be in distress. Would you like some specific resources for betta care? Love your channel!
Hello Joe, I am thrilled that you are in your new place. Healing your body will really help heal your soul and your mind. You have been run over by a freight train of change and loss and you NEED to find a happy place ... this seems like one. After my divorce I was upset but when my cat died shortly thereafter my world came totally crashing in on me .. that was the straw that dumped all the grief, stress, sorrow on my head so I can imagine how tough that was for you and your world was so much more complicated by physical pain on top of that. You are young and you will heal over time and you will find the balance and direction you need ... you are just that kind of person but let it happen in it's own time. By using the tools you have you actually increase your ability to do more and enjoy more because you aren't starting things out in pain before you even get going so I think you will explode into what will make you enjoy your life once you are better healed. If you do get a roommate, please be sure to ask your furry friends what they think ... their instincts will be your best guide to the real core of the person.
It can be hard to do what you know is best for yourself. Glad you're more accepting of the tools you use now!
I am totally with you about the "stuck as a dog pillow" thing. I've had several moments where I've been stuck, like at 3 a.m. while sleeping on couch and wanting to turn off the suddenly blaring television. Ugh. Or being cramped between my roommate and my dog on the pull out couch bed because my knee is stiff and uncomfortable and my feet are falling asleep and I need to brush my teeth and use my nightly eyedrops. And then I realize that I left my eyeglasses behind on the windowsill, and despite promising myself I'll get them tomorrow, I forget where they are and they're lost forever for a few days without my even knowing they're lost. Isn't that crazy? How does that happen? Thank God I have a couple old pairs that still work.
I love your videos. They are incredibly motivational and honest. I appreciate your rawness.
10 years ago, I developed Meniere's Disease and lost lot of my hearing. I fought getting hearing aids for years. A year and a half ago, I got them. The message of listening to our bodies is so crucial!
Thank you!
Wheelchair hack from a longtime wheeler. Replacing door hinges with double hinges gives you 2+ inches more doorway width because the door edge is no longer taking up space. You can buy them in any home improvement center and just replace the regular hinges and switch them back if you move. A real game changer, you can probably even clear your bathroom door. I also want to say I get how you feel about people's perceptions. I have to use a chair because I am paralyzed but spent years killing myself trying to be a "supercrip" who could do anything. Now that I'm older, and a little wiser, I take help where I can, like a ramp van and wheelchair power assist. Taking charge of how you manage YOU is a strength, not a weakness. You go girl!
Something I learned from another person with disabilities is JOMO. With disabilities, especially after we have just lost something we could do before, there is often a lot of FOMO or fear of missing out on stuff because you have to put your health first. This can be all kinds of stuff like going to a party, finishing that movie, completing that chore on your own, etc. JOMO or joy of missing out is a different way of looking at it. It is looking at all the things you can/could now do because you took care of your body first. For example because you didn't push yourself just to go to that party, you now are not completely unable to do anything the next day and can go on a lovely morning walk with your dog. Or because you took a break in the middle of a chore, you now are not in complete pain, but have the capability to not only finish it, but do it better or do more then you originally planned. This way of thinking has helped me a lot. Don't get me wrong I still ged sad or frustrated at times. But at other times I can appreciate that I took care of myself or be glad that I didn't push myself do something.
Your beginning to see jo.....it just makes sense... best of luck with it
I thought that was the new place on the last video. I am glad the leasing company was able to get to relocated. Maybe they can do a lift for you and the wheelchair if you end up needing it. Listening to your body is very important now. I still tend to over do it and end up paying for it. The being able to admit you can do do stuff is difficult. I still am learning how to do it. It really is hard admitting I cannot do stuff, even though I am in a wheelchair. Life is hard and it can really suck sometimes. Having your pets definitely helps. I have German Shepherds as well. The act of just making sure they are taken care of helps me get through tough times. It also doesn’t hurt that they are cute and cuddly. Your videos are very helpful. I know you are not always happy and positive but that you can frame it that way, makes things not as bleak as I know some of them are. Great video, the new place looks great.
I am very sorry to hear about your divorce and your other dogs passing, Jo. You have such a positive attitude about everything. Thank you for the house tour. It is gorgeous!!!! Isn't crocheting the best?? I love to do that too. I find it very peaceful. Keep crocheting if you wish. I am glad you have a positive outlook about using your wheelchair too. I have bilateral leg lymphedema and arthritis/bone spurs in my knees so walking is very hard and painful. I, too, use a wheelchair and walker to get around now. I used to walk normally too. It is a long process. Thank you for sharing your story with us. God Bless You!
well done Jo!!!!
You can have as many fresh starts as you need to feel good. I know personally I've had a couple and I'm going to have more. Do what you need to do for you. That's really all that matters. ❤❤
Congrats on the new place and growth in your personal journey! I agree with not wanting to live with roommates. Maybe try one of those sites/apps where your neighbors can pay you to store their stuff in your extra space. 😁
My cats do what Leo is doing...on days where my body needs rest and I listen to my body...my body becomes a hoomen body pillow for my cats...my days of having to move are coming...I have badly injured both legs and one foot including the Achilles tendon...stairs are hard...I waited too long to take my meds for pain and they won't be as affective....I have to listen to my body and your words in this video will stick with me for a long time...I think I might do up a painting open your ears and Listen to your body...If I come up with a good painting I will send you a photo of it...Thanks Jo your videos really do brighten my day...Love and Hugs from Nova Scotia...
I refused to use my wheelchair at all for the first six months of having it. I saw it as giving in so would walk round with increasingly bad pain. One day I got in it and had an epiphany, wheelchairs are just a vessel to get us from one place to another, the same as legs. Using the chair means more energy for the things you really want to do. We also had to move to an adjusted house and wow, it’s wonderful to be able to access everything and not have to rely on my husband to get everything for me. It’s independence and enhances our lives.
congrats.you gotta do what is best for you
Good for you! You are a model for us all. Growth comes in many ways, not all of which are “normal.” In fact the BEST ones are the those unexpected benefits that free us to excel in ways we would have never predicted. Taking care of yourself opens the door to new adventures of ALL kinds.
I want to thank you for being so open and candid about this. I'm at a point where I am realizing that a wheelchair would be so helpful for longer distances. I took the step to get a loaner. I haven't used it yet... I'm not there yet. But I made that first step at least.
Im going through that now miss lady im in a wheelchair right to u get my second prosthetic .. Keep pushing God bless
Proud of you, Jo! Congratulations on on the new home. Thanks so much for the talk, tour, and sleepy puppy time. (My doggos interrupted me at least five times during this video, lol )
It helps me to remember that what we see on social media, like Instagram, is people's good days and carefully curated shots. Jessica Kellgran-Fozard has a recent video, "don't judge me by my good days," if anyone's interested.
Jo I want you to know that, as a chronic pain sufferer, I really admire, appreciate, and look up to you!! Much love from OH 💕
ETA: There may be a go pro attachment that would let you roll your chair and film. A family member of mine was in an electric chair so I have some ideas of attachments you could try.
You're last video really helped me come to terms with the fact I need a wheelchair, and it was really annoying. I completely understand the feeling that you are less of a "good" disabled person if you need aid. Especially since I just started needing a mobility aid and realizing that my body is getting worse not better was hard to deal with emotionally. I love your videos, and they've helped me a lot! Thank you!
Omg yay you crochet!! I do too I love it so much I use it as therapy to unwind and keep my depressive thoughts away. Keep going Jo, do what you can. And when you can't, either adapt or just don't do it because you're a human not machine. Much love to you Jo! ❤️
I SO appreciate this. I'm in year 4 of an autoimmune disorder. I've been putting off something so simple- installing rails for back door so I can get out safely. I'm happy for you taking care of you. Dealing with all your needs can be so overwhelming. Your dogs know what's important though-Pillow Jo!
I've said it before and I'll say it again; you are wise beyond your years!
I'm struggling with accepting my limitations following recovery from 2 brain surgeries last year. It's over a year later and I still don't feel 100% back to normal. As frustrating as it has been, I've only recently started to actively adapt to this new reality. Thanks for being you! Blessings!
wow girlie. what a change in you. For the better i must add. Its a huge thing to move on to a wheelchair. i cried while being fitted and when i collected it. But kicked myself i had struggled so long and not done this before. i love i can glide around our home. i can carry thins on my lap. house not fully wheelchair freindly but we love it here and adapting. enjoy every second of that chair. its part of you now , like putting on sock or a shoe. Keep that smile going. hereford England. HUGE ps......... you may feel your not ready but please, from one who has made this choice and yet another mile stone... Get a few rails in that bathroom. Once using your chair you may use your leg less in the house. So easy to forget that the reach from door to the sink you use for support maybe an inch or two shorter on bad days. There are some really nice looking ones. I went for slightly longer ones and place a small towel on mine. More of an accesory and less "disabled" looking. . Middle of the night, groggy , in pain, mind not quite awake yet. Wash hands, turn, slip .. break nose.... Yep did that so the rails went up. May only need one but soooo worth it.
Every day is an oportunity to start possitive.
Moving was NOT a failing. It was an oportunity to move to a place that was better for you.
Change is hard. Loss is harder and when its stacked up its like an immovable wall. One day , even one minute at a time.
You've got this Jo.
After my time with the Iwalk and crutches. I have nothing but respect for people needing these mobility tools their entire life. I just needed them temporarily (hopefully) it was a real struggle. People with mobility troubles are real warriors PS I like your candles
I am going through this with my rheumatoid arthritis and fibromyalgia. My joints and fatigue are causing limitations that are hard to deal with. My walker is going to be my permanent aid from now on. I am have to mentally adjust to my limitations. So hard to do. You inspire me and lift me up in my low times.
So glad the new home had such a positive impact. I can understand the initial bad feelings- it sounds like a lot of changes happened in your life that you didn't have a lot of control in, in a short period of time. Your body forcing you to move probably felt like yet another thing happening TO you, rather than a free choice you were making. So happy things have turned around!
OMG! Yes! I am so happy for you! I need a open place like you now have because gout, neuapathy, and degeneration of my bones changes my mobility from day to day. I love to listen to you. You help people by sharing your life. Your dogs are wonderful and do steal the show a bit! Congratulations Jo! ❤
I hate moving with all of my heart and soul! Glad you found a great place for your needs❤️🇨🇦
Saving this video. So well explained. So well worded. *Listened to What My Body Needed*
I'm not an amputee, but am disabled - you've arrived at a realization it took ME a long time to realize too.
*Thank You*
For the Outdoor you can consider to buy an Automatic door lock the one has an camera and everything so with the one switch from the upstairs you can open the door
Your couch looks so comfy, and clearly your dogs are enjoying all the space to sprawl out on it. ☺️ Do you remember what kind of couch it is, and where you got it? I’m in the market for a new couch, and yours looks awesome. 😁 Great looking house by the way! I’m glad it is much more accessible for you and makes life easier. 😊
Congratulations on the move! Those pooches are so wonderfully relaxed - that says so much that it was the right thing to do! Love from Wisconsin!
You always have to acknowledge your limits. Maybe you can surmount them, but there are many times you can't. Totally agree with you.
I'm so happy for you!
I have to admit, I was listening to you but watching the sleepy pups. :) I've discovered that a good calming thing for me is watching my dog sleep. It's therapeutic to me.
As an aging adult I often forget that my body is NOT one of a younger person. Just this week I lifted something at work that used to be no problem. Its slowly becoming a problem and I paid for it with back pain the rest of the week.... I must remember that this body is over 60 and I may need help getting those heavy boxes down. Just admiting that to myself and my coworkers is something I'm getting my head around. It feels shameful that I can't do what I once did, but the alternative is going to be possibly permanently damaging my body, so next week and moving forward I will be asking for help.
Congrats on the move and the mobility!!!!
This is such a great video!