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What Is the Most Annoying Thing for Disabled People?
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I'm autistic, and I have a stutter. It really annoys me when someone says "come on, hurry up", when I'm trying to speak, and I'm stuttering. It doesn't help at all, and it just frustrates me even more. I'm already frustrated enough with the stutter as it is, and it's bought me close to either a meltdown or a shutdown, and I really don't want to have a meltdown, especially in public.
I have a speech impediment so I can 100% relate to this. I can’t say a lot of words, have a lisp and tend to stutter or have trouble talking at all when anxious or having a sensory overload.
I had a teacher that made fun of my friend for stuttering (made him say something in front of the class and would say "h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-hurry u-u-u-u-uu-p-p-p-p-p" and start laughing) to this day I still think back on it and I probably should've done something but it was a strict religious place so if I had done something I would've been suspended. It still pisses me off to this day.
I have a stutter, well, you probably cant call it a stutter, but sometimes when I talk I get my words wrong and have to think about what I'm saying, but I still get it wrong. Anyways, my brother goes "what's u u u u up w w with y y your st st stutter?" And it annoys me like crap because 1, it's not really even a stutter, and 2, if I really DID have a stutter it might make me feel bad.
@@mauricethegecko9700 im not a heavy stutterer myself but I did go through a phase in grades 1 and 5. Again like my story it was a teacher that made fun. This is why schools are a joke to me when it comes to disabilities.
My daughter has a stutter and it really annoys me when people finish her sentence, look visibly impatient, interrupt or even mock her stammer. I get it can be frustrating but really if I can listen to her all day everyday without doing these things I’m sure you can do it for one conversation!
It seems a lot of these stories are about old people ‘gatekeeping’ disabilities.
You can be young and still have a disability.
That and some people don’t necessarily look like they do. My mother-in-law has those disabled parking tags and she would get nasty looks and comments on occasion. I saw ‘would’ because she doesn’t go out much anymore, especially with Covid.
@@DreamTiger5 I’m the same way, I’m a 24 year old man with mild Cerebral palsy, Asthma and vision loss (retinal tear when I was born). I’m worried about something like this happening to me eventually.
I had "normal vision" up until 8 months after I turned 13. Roughly 5 months after that, neurologists found cancer, in the form of a germ cell tumor (Germinoma) in my brain and spinal cord that had caused hydrocephalus (a build up of cerebral spinal fluid inside the brain, which causes the brain to swell). The hydrocephalus in my brain created a benign cyst on my left optic nerve (as a way of relieving the pressure on my brain against my skull) and a bundle of nerves wrapped around the cyst, like a ball of yarn, making it inoperable.
I had been 14 years old, for just over a month, when they discovered the tumor.
After going into remission, I was sent to an unprofessional ophthalmologist, who had three students do my exam, and rather than checking my eyes behind them, she read their notes. The students didn't know what they were seeing when they looked in my eyes. The ophthalmologist said my eyes and vision, "Should get better," the further I got away from my radiation treatments and didn't diagnose me as visually impaired. I almost failed 9th grade because of this.
When I went back to see her a year later, she immediately saw the cyst and diagnosed me a visually impaired. We didn't make another appointment with her. I went to 12 different eye doctors, in four fields of ophthalmology, and in so many words, they all said the same thing: the cyst is in the center of a bundle of nerves and any attempt to move it would most likely give me a stroke and blind me, if not kill me, so it's safer to leave the cyst alone, as it is the lesser of two evils.
Every teacher, professor, medical personnel, etc. that has said to me, "Well you don't look disabled!" Or "You're too young to be disabled!" I have had trouble with their cooperation with me. In college, I wasn't as bold, until my junior year, but starting then, I now ask to speak to the trouble maker's "superior" and continue to ask for the person above them, until I can get what I need.
I don't ask for "handouts;" I ask for equality.
@@DreamTiger5 my eyes "look normal," but I have a benign cyst on my left optic nerve that's inoperable, due to the fact that it's inside a yarn like tangle of nerves and any attempt to get to it would give me a stroke/kill me. The cyst developed from hydrocephalus, (a build up of cerebral spinal fluid in the brain, which causes the brain to swell) in an attempt to relieve pressure on my brain from the swelling. I had cancer in the form of a Germinoma (germ cell tumor) in the center of my brain that grew down into my spinal cord and blocked off the natural passageway for cerebral spinal fluid to drain out, hence causing the hydrocephalus. I am visually impaired, because of the cyst. I have double vision, no depth perception, tunnel vision, and slow jagged movements of my eyes, when I look down.
I can't see well enough to drive, but I can see pretty well, all things considered! I use a 48 inch cane that I roll along the ground when I walk, because I can't see anything below my nose and I have no depth perception, so stairs, sidewalks, etc. that I see in the distance look flat to me.
What shocks me is the fully assembled "adults" who look at me using my cane like I've been rolling around in a pig pen and decided to walk past them.
But, I try not to let the stares and gawking get me down. My family is great with this too! Once my dad and I went into Food Lion and a lady checking out at the counter gasped and curled her lip up when she saw me, with my cane. I had my sunglass on and walked directly towards her to the point where she took a step backwards. I turned at the last second, saw a stand with crackers on it, and said, "Hey, Dad! We need to get some more of these!" Dad walked over to me, (jokingly) pretending to be angry, and yelled, "I know we need more of those! What are you? Blind? Gimme that!" And he took the box out of my hand. The manager laughed, there was a gentleman sweeping the floor who laughed, and the cashier checking out the gawking lady laughed!
The lady stood there dumbfounded. She asked the cashier what was funny and he laughed again and said, "They're great!"
I'm legally blind, and it really pisses me off when someone treats me like I'm mentally slower. I understand there probably trying to be helpful, but it just brings back bad memories of being in elementary school where almost everyone no matter where I would go would treat me like that. It got to the point where I was on the brink of suicide. I'm open to any questions, as long as I'm being talked to like any other person.
How do the visually impaired know when they've toileted themselves properly? I have cerebral palsy myself, and unfortunately, if you have a difference, people can't relate unless they can experience it firsthand.
Hello, fellow human who has trash eyes. I can totally relate to this. Like, I was at a conference with my vision coach and at one of the meetings, another blind woman talked about how people would talk loudly and slowly to her, especially around elevators. What she said is honestly one of my favorite things. “Okay, first of all, my name’s not Helen.”
In short, this deserves more likes ._.
@Leila Wilson Basically, it means you’re blind, but not completely so. For example, I’m blind in my right eye and can still see some out of my left. Therefore, I’m legally blind, not completely blind.
@Leila Wilson Then I’m afraid I need to make a call. One moment please...
FBI OPEN UP-
Talk to us. Don’t ignore someone who is disabled. Don’t ignore us, don’t look away when you see us. Sometimes that’s all the help we need
'Too young to have arthritis ' tell that to my younger brother with a hole in his heart, ADHD, anxiety, and oppositional tendencies, cataracts, tourette's and who got diagnosed with juvenile systemic arthritis at less than 6 months old who almost died when he was young cause he went into anaphylaxis after trying a new medication, had to undergo numerous treatments and surgeries and will die if his current treatments stop because his disease literally attacks his entire body, these last few months have been scary with clinics closing and having to change the way the medicine is delivered because it doesn't work as well for him this way and who's growth was so stunted my one of his meds he only outgrew the last of his kindergarten clothes when he was almost 13-14.
Or me with loose joints that grind, dislocate, rotate and click all the time, fibromyalgia which causes muscle tension, which causes muscle exhaustion and cramps, my face to always scowl and my jaw to lock which pushes out my fillings, nearly legally blind (progressive disease), ADD, cannot properly regulate my body temperature, have bad asthma, anxious personality, depression and a mood disorder, have significant hearing loss in my right ear, lazy eye, speech impediment, and a liver cyst causing constant debilitating pain and allergies or sensitivities to most fruits and some veggies, crustaceans, pretty much every environmental allergy out there, and allergy to milk protein which cannot be removed.
Or my older brother with Asperger's, ADHD, mild oppositional disorder and OCD.
All relatively invisible diseases, try explaining to old people a the hospital or the rare eye specialist why there's a 12 y/o girl and a seemingly 7 y/o boy who's actually 11 why they're there.
wow
this is... dang
@@mauricethegecko9700 ya... our family's not that great when it comes to health 😅 Severe back problems, fibromyalgia and migraines and a gene mutation affecting the way blood clots happen all run in my mom's family she gave all three of us the weak spine and the fibro and migraines only affect the females so of course I got them, and at least 8 known relatives that we personally knew have died from a stroke or related incident where the clot formed on the left side of the neck... And also her brother is anaphylactic to peanut butter and she to bees, so maybe that's heriditary too? 🤔
And 'mental' type of disorders run in both, my dad's great uncle was so severely autistic and developmentally challenged that he couldn't live on his own and had to live in an institution, and the males on my dad's size have congestive heart failure. Five of the around nine men in my father's and grandfather's generation have already died from it. In the last 3 generations alone, his father, grandfather and great-grandfather have all died before or just after 60. 🙁
A least we live where there's relatively free healthcare though! 😅🍁 Also we didn't know anything about my dad's paternal history until his dad was dying and his uncle hunted down my dad because my grandmother divorced and cut him off completely, and nothing much about my mom's because they're all manipulative, lying alcoholics who like to hide everything from everyone else. So ya.. 😕😅
Apparently out of us five I'm the only one not disabled enough to get financial assistance and only my younger brother and my mom qualify for a handicap parking pass.
Can't stop my younger brother though, even though the doctors forbade it out of fear of his bones breaking/deteriorating faster or being deformed because of his osteoporosis he still insisted on riding his dirt bike and taking horseback lessons with me, rough camping and everything else, with appropriate restrictions and rest during and after of course.
And my older brother's Asperger's and learning disorder presents almost like what used to be called an 'idiot savant', he's complete garbage at schoolwork, can't spell or write to save his life and is barely literate, but yet since he could walk he was with my dad in the garage or doing improvements around the house, and for Christmas at 4 y/o he got his own small engine to tinker on.
It had been not working before and my dad really only got it for him to play with like one of those play kitchens lmao, but instead he took it apart and actually got it running, he got so fast at taking it apart and putting it back together it was ridiculous.
He'd remember people by their vehicles or like items in their yards rather than by their names and even faces sometimes, the way other people describe a person is how he describes their vehicles to identify them lol. They both grew up working in the garage with my dad and when he opened his renovation business they joined. My older brother is now working with a family friend at his scrap yard as the heavy machinery mechanic and builder. Lol he built a crusher for the cars called 'Mr. Happy' and on the plate that smushes them he drew a smiley face.
😂
He made over $100 by the time he was 6 because we had a friend who had some kind of scrap yard and told him that for every nail he picked up he'd give him a nickle, that quickly changed to a penny and then a nickel for 10 when he realized how obsessive my brother was and that he'd actually sit there for hours walking around the yard with a fine tooth comb lol.
And he made a legit side business by going around twice a year on special garbage pick up and picking up all of the decent bikes people put out, bringing them home, salvaging parts from several to make one or two good bikes, repairing anything he could and then re-painting them. One year he had almost 40 bikes on our front lawn and sold them all before the end of summer for like $15-$30 a pop. He had almost $6000 saved up by the time he was 16 for christ sake! 😂 Legit the only thing that boy can read is street signs and manuals lmao.
So there's definitely more good times for us than really bad times, especially now that my younger brother is older and has stabilized. 😊
Wow, I thought my family’s health wan’t that good. I’m so sorry for all of you. I hope some kind of cure/treatment comes that will help you all. Stay safe and healthy.
I have arthritis like stuff(idk if that's the right translation. There are 2 names for that in German which mean 2 similar but different things) in my Jaw joints and a ruined neck spine because of Tourettes at 21 and I've had people ask if it gets better if I stop... go figure...
Had a friend who went blind. Cataracts were inoperable. We were at a restaurant when someone offered him the "faith will heal" advice... He listened to the mini-sermon, the bit about God never putting more on your shoulders than you can handle... the healing ability of seeing the light... AND suddenly, he threw down his cane and jumped up shouting at the top of his voice, "Hallelujah, brothers! I can see the light!!!"
Well, this caught the attention of the entire place, and then he ran straight into the glass door at the entrance and shattered the glass. Bouncing off the metal handle across the middle of the door he fell over backwards flat onto the floor... Immediately, there was a room-wide gasp, and I was silently wishing I could shrivel into about a two-inch tall waft of smoke and evaporate. A few tense seconds passed, and the manager of the place was starting out (the first person to move at all) when my buddy sat up and looked around as if confused.
"Oh..." He chuckled. "I guess that light was the only damn thing I COULD friggin' see!"
I later found out he'd been wearing steel-toe shoes for years since his vision ever started deteriorating, and he was lethally accurate with them. It was how he could break the door without injuring himself... BUT even before I realized it was entirely rehearsed to take the "Jesus Crispy" down a notch (his term, I've adopted/stolen it) I was laughing so hard I could barely breathe... AND we were comp'ed our meals because the house staff felt so bad for the harassment... I don't know what went on with the religious lunatics about it...
Now, I'm not trying to encourage other folks into turning an uncomfortable conversation into a fiasco, especially not at the risk of personal injury. Those tempered glass installs (doors and windows) can be bloody dangerous! I'm hoping this rather humorous anecdote is helpful for those of us who aren't handicapped to calm ourselves down and just let them be... Most of us (handicapped and otherwise) are FULLY capable of asking for it if we actually need or want help with something. That's just common sense and decency. Those few who are not so capable, generally have a caregiver/assistant to watch over them. If you're not intrinsically involved, just act as if they're not handicapped, save the slight extra spacial awareness for things like power-scooters, wheelchairs, crutches, and so forth... YOU might well be the person at the center of such a scene, blamed for sending some "dubiously gullible" blind guy into a religious fit and breaking the glass door, making EVERYONE stare accusingly right at YOU. ;o)
I’m blind, It’s scary when people just grab me and drag me somewhere. It’s better when people ask what I need rather than guessing
Couldn't agree more
Same
Oh my gods, someone to relate to, yes! I have had to deal with so many different people grabbing my arm to tug me somewhere. One guy even had the nerve to grab my right wrist, which is the hand I use to move my CANE. I told him that he couldn’t do that and guess what? He did it again-
I’m an amputee and it really pisses me off when I hear all of these stories where the cliche theme is something like “Anything is possible” or “You can do anything if you put your mind to it”, because then whenever I’m not able to do something, people will tell me not to say that and just keep trying. I hate this because I snowboard and do karate and there are plenty of things I can’t do because of my amputation, but people keep pushing me to the point where sometimes I get hurt. It also sucks how I feel like the subject of so much pity whenever someone sees my prosthetic leg or when they ask about it and I tell them what happened to me. I just wish people could see me as a normal person more often so that I wouldn’t have the constant reminder that there are things that am physically incapable of doing.
I seethe at "The only disability is a bad attitude!" memes.
I am grateful that my amputation (great toe) is not obvious, but my gait definitely changed.
"Why you walking like that?"
"Had to gnaw my leg off to escape the trap."
You will probably hate me for this, but there are more days and they are getting more and more, where I wish I would have a visible disability, like an amputeed leg... For some reason I have something for missing legs... Don't know why, probably because you can "just" atach a new one and still just do stuff, it's harder with a missing hand (Gamer problems). So yeah, wish I had something visible...
Anyway: How did you loose your leg? :D
And: You will know what you can do or not, why are people trying to convince you? It's your missing leg after all...
@@leaflet1686 I lost my leg to bone cancer when I was 5 years old. As a gamer myself, I’m thankful it was a leg and not a hand! Also, I think the thing about you wanting a disability like an amputated leg is actually a mental disease. I’ve heard that some people have delusions where they feel like their limb doesn’t belong to them or they just have an unexplainable urge to remove a body part. You may want to speak to someone about that. I hope you can get over that feeling.
@@connorofbells So not a cool story like a wild dog wanting a meal~ Glad it was only this and that you just have to give up a leg and not 2 :D You cancer free now? Everything good? Is Phantom pain actually a thing?
No, I do not have that mental desease! I have an invisible disability (autism) and it males my live suck. I get so much sh** for it and people always forget I habe that, because out of sight out of mind... I would love something I could wave in their face: loock at me I have a "real" disability!
Yeah, my enviornment is not the best for this kind of crap and I am working my butt off to get out of it... If I would have a supportive work environment and all that stuff, I would've never had those bizarre wishes...
Do you have a pirate leg or something more futuristic? There was a legless man at my school, who had a leg in metallic red that would release air with every step, like a hydraulic system. Sounded like a more silent mini truck.
@@leaflet1686 I’m sorry you have to deal with living with an invisible disease like autism. It never occurred to me that some people with those types of disabilities might wish for something more physical so that more people would be aware of it. Also, to answer your questions:
No, I don’t have phantom pains because in my type of amputation, my sciatic nerve wasn’t cut and instead it was coiled up and tucked into the remainder of my leg.
No, I don’t have a peg leg, although a lot of people say I should get one made and be a pirate for Halloween. My leg is made of titanium and carbon fiber.
My leg doesn’t require a hydraulic system like that guy you mentioned because I still have the majority of my leg, which include one of my original joints.
I'm autistic and tbh my main individual need is not being helped unless I specifically ask for it.
Or getting chastised for meeting your own needs, even with a legitimate excuse. Agh!
I’m visually impaired, nearly completely blind, so I use my cane full time. If you want to help me, that’s great, but please, in the name of the gods, ask me first. Holding a door open, you don’t have to ask me. I’ll most likely smile in the direction I think you are and say thank you. But if you want to guide me somewhere, do not do so without asking me first.
I understand wanting to help me, that’s great, but if you don’t say anything or don’t ask, it may as well be like this:
Imagine being blindfolded in a noisy, crowded place full of people you’re not allowed to touch or bump into. You use your hands to find your way, by dragging one along the wall or holding it out in front of you. You use your leg to feel the ground ahead of you. Then, suddenly, without any warning, someone grabs onto the arm you’re using to feel around and starts pulling you in one direction. You don’t know their motives because they don’t say anything. You don’t know where they’re taking you because you can’t see. You can’t call for help without making a scene.
That’s fucking terrifying. And don’t tell me I’m overreacting, because this is exactly what it feels like. It causes so much anxiety that I don’t need.
If I say no after you grab me, if I pull away from you and tell you to stop, don’t say “I was just trying to help.” I know you were, but the way you were doing it doesn’t help me, it hurts me. I can name so many times this has happened to me, most of which have caused me to have a breakdown because of how much they scared me. One happened at the top of a staircase and my reaction was, complete with stuttering and trembling, “No no no no no, please don’t touch me.” The girl reacted by scoffing at me.
That sounds horrible. Especially being near staircase when someone grabbed you. That girl should have apologized, your reaction was completely understandable.
I was fortunate and happy to learn many etiquette and behavior things (don't pet the guide dog!) from a blind friend.
Then I lost my sight (in only one eye, the other is good with intense treatment). And oh Lord the insensitive and rude people!!
If I wear an eye patch : DO YOU THINK YURRR A PIRATE HAR HAR YARRRRRR
If I don't,. people come up on my blind side and crash into me:. WATCH THE EXPLETIVE WHERE YOU GOING! WHAT ARE YOU, BLIND?
*sigh*
@@tangenty6987 This is a million years late, but…
Dear gods, you’re right. So many people have told me to watch out when, HELLO?! I’M THE ONLY PERSON IN THE BUILDING USING A C A N E-
Not to mention those insensitive assholes who just keep walking and don’t move out of the way. Dude, you can see me, I can’t see you. Besides that, I have the right of way, not you. Don’t believe me? Go look up White Cane Laws
Honestly, people can be so terrible sometimes smh. Also, dude, you rock that eyepatch! I wish I could do that! I don’t typically wear them a lot, but I have a couple pairs of dark glasses I’ll sometimes wear when I’m out and about. Since posting the first comment, I’ve lost the remainder of my vision, and I think, given my eyes are extremely pale and never in focus, it should be obvious to people that I’m blind, but I guess not.
I’m curious, do you use a cane? If so, what type? Mine’s a thin, eye level straight cane with a metal tip. I named him Able
Like… like Cane and Able-
I hate people assuming you can't be disabled because you're young, I remember when I was a kid I used to feel under so much pressure to limp or act like I was unable to walk because we had parked in a disabled space and I had a wheel chair (I could walk fine, I needed it because I would suddenly get really weak and not be able to move) still to this day I get dodgy looks from people when using a stick or even sitting in the waiting area of the hospital (I'm the youngest there by probably 30 years most of the time)
Gaslighting someone about their own disorder. "but you look normal!" "it can't be that bad." "aren't we all a little autistic/ocd/bipolar/depressed/etc?"
the ''aren't we all a little autistic'' pisses me off, no, most people aren't autistic, it's the way i think and if you think you ''have'' it then you must have been born that way, right?
A Turtle approves helping disabled people without the annoyances.
@@Okay1 ok
This is why disabled people love A Turtle
Hey, I know you from Ready to Glare. Good to see a turtle swimming the reddit waters!
A fellow ice cream sandwich is here.
Thanks
I have Spina Bifida and am in a wheelchair and nothing annoys me more than when people constantly ask if I need help even after I say I got it. It's ESPECIALLY annoying when they "help" me anyway after I refuse them. I get that people are just trying to help but for the love of God we're not all completely helpless.
I understand that. I’m an amputee and I hate when people always ask to help me when I need to carry heavy things or carey something up or down a flight of stairs. If I need help, then I’ll ask for it. If I don’t need it, then stop making me feel inferior by trying to live my life for me.
@@connorofbells you hit the nail on the head. If I need help I'll ask.
@synchromorph pretty much. And you know what happens when you assume.
Firstly, treat us a human because that's who we are. Secondly, do you go up and grab some stranger ? No, so dont do that to us. Thirdly, we are not wheelchair bound or in a wheelchair, we use a wheelchair just as you use a car, etc. Fourthly, you can talk to to us, we dont bite back !
It depends on the person who is approaching me. If they have the wrong attitude, I might bite ;)
My brother's GF is blind in one eye. She had a surgery to remove a cataract and something happened and she started going cloudy and lost complete vision in that eye because the doctors didn't catch it fast enough and when they did they couldn'tfix it (this was before laser eye surgery was common). She's had this condition since before she met by brother and even before her previous marriage and 2 kids. When we met we just didn't talk about it much other than them telling us (not that they really had to her eye is completely milky gray now) after getting closer to her we were talking about my own and my younger brother's visual imparemnets and I asked her if she minded telling me how she lost her vision, or if she had been born like that and she told me. But I always forget that and so I'll go to hand her something, sometimes without really looking, and of course she doesnt see it on that side and I wave it around a little to try to get her attention and then I make a noise, say something or she just turns my way and she just sees me looking at her with an expression like 'This B! Wtf' on my face and then i look at her and we both start pissing ourselves laughing. Or I'll come up beside her not realizing she didnt hear and scare the crap out her by accident lol. Sometimes I go to sneak up on her to scare her on purpose and just as I'm about to do it I remember she couldn't have seen me at all and wasn't just not paying attention and feel bad for a second until she jumps and then starts laughing.
But it's ok because both parties are ok with it, and even flaunt it sometimes and the fact that me and other the people around her forget like that at times means that we aren't seeing her just a her disability, we're seeing HER. She likes to joke about it too and tease her daughter, stuff like "Don't even try to pull that on me, I might only be able to see out of one eye but I'm not stupid" , "I'm watching you, it might be blind but I still know what you're doing over there" as a twist on the Mom Classic "I've got eyes on the back of my head" line or she'll joke like "I've got my eye on you" haha.
"Your not depressed your just feeling down." When I hear that I just hear them say "Have you tried not having a Broken Leg". DO NOT DO THIS.
I'm not deaaaaafffff, I just don't bother to listen(!). ¬_¬ Ugh. I know they're lucky enough to have a good mindset but....!
Have they tried not being judgemental jerks?
AMEN!
I have autism, but the opposite kind that everyone stereotypes autism to be. My brain processes information much faster than the rest of my generation, but I cannot act in public. I never tell anyone I have autism because 1. I usually never use my mouth, and 2. I don't want crap from other people about it. This is the only time anyone outside of my family knows I am autistic, and I'm only doing this because I don't have to face people and that I can deal with antagonistic words on a screen.
Honestly it's a miracle that I have friends at all
Have Asperger's and to be honest I don't like being compared to another person with Asperger's to be honest, like just because some other person with it can wear clothes just fine doesn't mean I can overcome that
Asperger's here too, it's not like parents treat me as stupid, but now after few days of gum ache whole chick is bigger and just yesterday i came for help, too late, must wait till monday to set dentist. I couldn't go for help ealier bc of fear and asking for money. Turns out they care so much, but give space.
Agreed. We are all different.
And another few of mine (inspired by 7:00)- (Autistic)- If you're going to talk to me, at least make it clear that you want to talk to me. And I can't understand you when you use signs with your hands without saying anything to go with them. If you want to ask me something, you won't get an answer, because I won't have understood you. Same goes for if you're trying to get me to do something with just hand signs (yes, I have a driving licence, and I've learned the signs the police will make if a policeman is directing traffic, but they're the exception more than the rule).
Also if I ask you to repeat yourself, it's because I can't make out what you're saying amongst all the background noise, not because I wasn't listening. Even if you're less than a foot away from me, sometimes, it's impossible for my brain to prioritise what you're saying, over, say, a diesel engine on a train, or a piece of music in the background.
And also if you want me to do something, don't just grab my arm, and really, don't touch me, unless I've said it's OK (exceptions for family and friends in certain circumstances). I *will* freak out, and physically try and get you off me, even if it means dropping myself onto the floor.
I also have poor handwriting (to do exams in school, I used a computer), and I used to get cr*p from all kinds of people over it, both in, and outside of school,. Instead of helping me, it just made me feel worse about it. Ask me what something says, or actually suggest solutions that will make anything I've written easier to understand.
I am hearing impaired. People don't enunciate, ESPECIALLY in the south. My own father and son "who are mush mouthed as hell, and soft spoken too!"accuse me all the time of not paying attention!!!!!!! Talk a little bit louder, slower, AND FOR PITY'S SAKE ENUNCIATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I feel you! Also when the acoustics in the room we are in are particularly bad or when there are a lot of background noises I am having the hardest time attempting to just catch the general topic xD
Amen. You don't have to yell, just enunciate your words, and look towards me when speaking.
It is rage inducing when you are told to pay attention, when every molecule in you is already doing so.
Oh god I have this one fucking friend at work who I can never fucking understand what he's saying. I have to rely completely on my hearing! I can't fill in the blanks with lip-reading like I do with everyone else. It's a fucking chore talking to this dude because he *will not fucking enunciate!! He mumbles everything!!*
I feel ya, man! And then add lip reading with the very poor dental hygiene of many southerners, "they can't help it, dental care is expensive!" and it's nerve wracking!
Why do people care so much about other people's lives? If I don't know you, I'm not going to ask you about the scar on your face. Heck, unless you tell me, it would take months of close friendship for me to eventually ask. It's none of my business, just as my own life is none of your business unless I'm comfortable to tell you.
They're nosy beggers. ¬_¬ Probably looking for summat to gossip about.
*A couple good catch-alls for (almost) all disabled people:*
- You aren't a medical professional. If we tell you we have a medical disability, I don't want to hear your recommendations. Out of years of receiving unsolicited medical advice, only one piece of advice from one person has stuck and that was because she spent 5 years searching for doctors to help her daughter with the same condition and same symptoms.
- If we want your help, you'll know. Even back when I had crippling social anxiety and agoraphobia, if I needed help in public and was too afraid to ask, it'd come off in my body language. Otherwise, we don't need help. We are fully capable of functioning on our own.
- Disabilities don't discriminate on age. Nobody is too young for joint pain, blindness, deafness, PTSD, etc. Don't even remark that you don't normally see people that young with that disability. Just. Don't.
- Don't try to relate to our disabilities. It's awesome to feel understood! But when we have medical conditions that affect our ability to function independently and you, an able-bodied and healthy individual, pretend to understand exactly what it feels like? You're undermining our disabilities. I grew up in an ableist household and was in denial that I was disabled until I was about 20. Even when I was literally fainting at work because my body couldn't handle the stress I was putting it under by trying to function like a healthy, able-bodied person. I just kept being told 'that's normal' and 'you're being overdramatic' and 'that happens to me all the time, so there's nothing wrong with you'. I was in denial and it was endangering my safety. Denial that was caused by people pretending that what I experience is "normal" and not due to a disability.
- Just...listen to us. Jfc. Stop assuming and start listening. Hell, ask me questions so you can learn what best to do! My current best friend was the first person to actually make an effort to understand and accommodate my disabilities without taking away my independence. And honestly, I forget that sometimes because what he's doing is the bare minimum. Took over 2 decades for someone to make an actual attempt, but it really is the bare minimum.
- "I don't know if I could do that/live like that." Well, the only other option is to keel over and fucking die, so...You think you're making it sound so courageous and brave, to do what we are doing. And it's like??? We have to take different steps than you do to be able to function and be independent. It's not that awe-inspiring. It's either learn to function or kill ourselves. Not that crazy.
- This is similar to the previous one: I'm not brave. I'm not an inspiration. I'm a lazy fuck currently watching reddit at 5am when I should be sleeping. I eat junk food, I procrastinate and slack off. My life really isn't all that awe-inspiring. I'm just disabled. Some caused by birth, some caused by being at the wrong place at the wrong time. I'm not a hero, I'm just a girl. You're making me feel weird. Even if you *do* see me as an inspiration? There's a difference between calling me inspiring because I exist as a disabled person vs. calling me an inspiration for my hard work, perseverance, and dedication to being a good person in the face of adversity. I can see the difference.
- Just because I pass as an able-bodied and healthy person at a glance, doesn't mean you should treat me like one. So many bridges have been burned in my past because I just needed a tiny bit of help, but when I asked for it, they'd insist I didn't need it. No, I know what I need.
On the opposite end of the spectrum, if someone is visibly disabled or just revealed their disability to you, don't infantilize them. Treat us like a normal human being and accommodate our disabilities in ways that are actually helpful. Don't know what is and isn't good etiquette and don't see it mentioned anywhere in/around this video? Just ask, please.
I very rarely need a wheelchair, but sometimes use one if I'm at an amusement park where I'll be walking around a lot. I have minor CP and some leg circulation issues, so too much standing/walking will lead to severe foot and leg pain to the point of suffering when walking on carpet in socks at the end of the day.
Please don't automatically assume that when someone pulls their legs up into their lap to rub them, gets up from the chair and walks, or pushes the chair around empty for a while to sit in it later, they're just lazy. I know what it looks like, but the "outlier" case does happen. Don't make remarks or throw out assumptions, even whispers. I *can* walk, I *can* move my legs, it's just horribly painful after hours of constant walking, and I'd like to walk with as little lingering pain as possible in the following days. Trust me, I'm already feeling bad enough that I'm taking a wheelchair up that someone who *cannot* walk may need, but sometimes the pain is just too much to deal with.
Also, please don't ask why someone's doing something a bit unusual unless it's really bothering you, even out of curiosity. For the same reason, sometimes I walk on my tip toes because my calves feel too tight (even though I shouldn't). It can only be asked so many times before it gets immeasurably annoying to be asked why I'm walking the way I choose. That being said, if what I'm doing is actively annoying (such as quiet vocal tics) please politely say so and I'll try to be silent. I hate being annoying, but can't always fully stop tourettes tics.
Spastic diplegia here. One day at a time.
@@PotterPossum1989 Not the worst you could have though. Yes, it's always tough, but whenever I'm in a lot of pain, I always try to remind myself that it's a blessing that 1. I'm alive given the circumstances of my birth, and 2. It could be so much worse.
It's a struggle, and there's a lot that you may not be able to do that others can, but if you do have your independence, that's its own miracle. Getting through the day, but also living it.
Another thing to consider the next time you see a young, healthy-looking person riding a mobility scooter is that they may be in the middle of delivering it or putting it away for the person who actually needs it. I've done this for my mom and grandma at theme parks, fairs, shopping malls, etc. where the distance from the parking lot to the scooter rental has been too far for them to walk.
I have polydactyl and school was a proper struggle as I cant write. I would have people coming up to me left right and centre saying to me “don’t be lazy, you’re lying about your hand hurting” I also had really bad panic attacks from the pain it caused me, especially during lessons. I eventually got help but from grade 1-7 it was hell for me. I wish people without disabilities could just be understanding, but not patronising at the same time
Telling someone they're to young to have back pain is ridiculous. My middle daughter has lordosis (not spelled correctly). That's the opposite of scoliosis. She has an deeper curve in than normal in the lumbar curve of her spine. She was diagnosed in high school. There isn't much to be done except exercises for the muscles. Anyway she has had back pain on and off since high school and she's in her 3o's. So don't tell someone they're to young to have pain.
I worked as a caregiver for 5 years. A lot of the higher ups used to talk with the individuals like they were babies/kids. I hated it. They are adults. Don’t treat them like they don’t know anything or can’t understand you. That shit pissed me. This one lady used to talk in like a slow baby voice to them and it pissed me off so bad, one day I told her you don’t have to talk to them like they’re babies she shut right up and walked away.
*_I'm a recipient of multiple spine surgeries and a chronic pain patient. I have other issues too numerous to list. I'm wheelchair bound but not quite there yet. However when I'm in real bad shape & hurt too much I'll use a wheelchair to get me thru my day._* I hate it when someone rushes in to "help" me. We'll ask if we need help! Just because we can't do some things doesn't translate into not being able to anything at all. We have a pretty good idea what we're capable of. Just discovered this channel, I've been watching your videos most of the day. Great work, keep it up!
I once heard that captchas are what annoys blind people the most when trying to surf the web. That was before captchas began supporting audio alternatives, although I still see a lot of captchas that don't.
Also stop yelling at me for not making eye contact. I'm listening to you, but many autistic people struggle with eye contact. We are listening still. Just not looking
Autistic here (actually Asperger syndrome, but I allow both terms because the criteria and naming apparently changed. I tend to allow a lot more in the way of descriptors than I probably should). I've got quite a few:
-Never tell me you're sorry when I indicate my issues. It's a hand I was dealt, not something you did or something I can't handle.
-Please do not ask me to go to places or events with lots of people - crowds and nonconsenting restriction of movement are easily my biggest meltdown set-offs. If you want me to shop it can't be on a weekend or right before a major holiday (I pretty much have to do Christmas shopping online now). If you want me to see a movie it's gotta be a matinee showing or drive-in. And forget sporting events. Certain conventions (gaming conventions for instance) aren't quite as much victim to this rule, though I may still need a quiet space somewhere.
-On the subject of sports and physical activity in general, I dunno if it's part of the autism or an instance of rheumatic fever when I was little that caused this, but I have low muscle tone. Even at my most fit my fastest mile run was 12 minutes, and I tire easily. Do not merely tell me to man up or hurry up. (I might have something else to say if people think I can't do much in the way of activities - I just don't run into people who think that way.)
-I have a very hard time filtering noise, so I may think I have to speak louder for you to hear me. I must be told if I'm able to be quieter, and that calls for a stern but level tone of voice. DO NOT SHOUT AT ME TO SHUT UP as loud noises are VERY bad for me.
-Sadly, one of the things that can easily push me towards meltdown is being ignored or misinterpreted. If I start over-enunciating, I'm trying to break through this. I am not trying to be mean. (I've gotten to the point where I'm going to be carrying a pad of paper and a pen EVERYWHERE in case places are simply too loud for that to work - or if I really have to get the attention of someone who is hearing-impaired.)
-Meditation does not work for me, especially unguided. Believe me, I've tried, I only get stuck in anxiety-causing mental loops. Don't ask me to do it.
-Unfortunately, despite what some overzealous autism "advocates" will tell you, the aggression thing (ableists tend to call it "violent behavior") is real. I try my hardest to avoid people when I'm melting down because I know fight-or-flight aggression can be the result, and no one is safe if it happens with me (especially because I'm over 6 feet tall and over 250 pounds). If I need to evacuate a situation, do not stop me.
-I cannot approach certain topics of conversation and may not be able to handle others at seemingly-random times because I know they're set-offs for meltdown behavior. I also don't do certain types of etiquette well because no matter how hard I try, the phrases forever mean something completely different to me than what social norms insist. (As an example, I've actually ranted at LGBT people over this regarding the "don't shove it down our throats" statement and their tendency to call it homophobic or transphobic - and apparently what's going on is that they've run into too many people who use it reflexively or for incredibly trivial things, instead of someone literally being near the point of explosion and calling the statement "phobic" comes off as a declaration of intent to interfere with a need to escape.)
I'll throw in one for legally-blind people that I discovered while tutoring once: I don't know how they feel about the room-cleaning, but books in Braille have to be treated a little more sacred - do NOT pile anything heavy on those books (such as other textbooks). It's about the same effect on readability as spilling ink on a "normal" book's pages.
I have a stutter sometimes. It's really annoying when people tell me to stop stuttering.
as a disabled person myself, I just want to point out that the hatred that a lot of these people seem to have is not shared amongst the entire disabled community.
Listen, from one cripple to another (I am disabled too), it's not your place to gate keep what another person finds annoying/hates when it comes to their disability and how others react to it. I am sure that, as a cripple yourself, there is something that gets under your skin: a comment, look, behavior, or reaction. As a cripple, it is not my place to look at you and your reaction when you encounter something that does get under your skin and cause discomfort and comment "as a disabled person myself, I just want to point out that the hatred you display is not shared among the entire disabled community."
Though out my life my mum always gets people talking about my disability at parties, mine is kind of brain damage from a mishandled birth the doctor left me too long even when i was in distress stuck in the bith canal, scratched my head twice, one came back inclusive the other shows that indeed i had lack of oxygen. So my mum got a emergency c section this was around late 80s (88 to be precise) my head was squished and a slow from learning to walk and talk, my parents were too busy to teach me but that has nothing to do with it, doctors told my mum that i wouldn't be able to walk but lucky whist my sister was being born (she was a planned c section) i was with my grandparents and my grandmother taught me to walk with a fisher price walking toy ( i guess it was that company) so now i was running and walking, took speech therapy.
Idk if a speech independent is considered a disability. But both my sister and I have one. A former friend of my sister would keep on saying “get it out, just get it out” when my sister would stutter a lot instead of just shutting up and letting her speak with the patients that she needed.
A good thing tho, is in 6th grade when I had a moment where my speech was rlly bad and it was annoying me, and girl I was paired up with noticed this and helped me practice a breathing technique that not only helped me calm down but helped my speech impediment to not be so bad. I rlly appreciated that girl for showing me that ppl nobody ever did.
Same here. This really annoys me, along with "use your words" and its derivatives.
Yes a Speech impediment is a disability! I have a Childhood Apraxia of Speech. It's Neurology disorder. It's where my brain connects to my mouth is messed up but I know what I want to say but I can't get my mouth to say the words correctly. So it might make it harder for someone to understand me.
I also had that happen to me which I hated!
It reminds me of a girl who was in my class all through high school. The diameter of her right ankle and her calf was very large, and she always had her pants leg covering it, so I thought she had just a cast or a splint. It was actually an illness (but I don't know which one, she never told me). Of course, she couldn't do sports class. But one day, she told me that in middle school, her classmates were tired of running while she remained on the bench. So they complained to the teacher and the teacher forced her to run in front of everyone. Because of her leg, she was in a lot of pain and was running very slowly, but the teacher was shouting to her "COME ON, RUN FASTER, DON'T BE A SISSY! " and the others laughed. Unsurprisingly she told me after that it was the worst humiliation of her life
that teacher needs to be fired.
@@owenmerrill1501 and consults an ophthalmologist too
@@origami6479 yes. But if this was high school I don't see why she was even in those classes. is there not some sort of doctors order that says something along the lines of "this person should not take physical education courses due to her having a physical problem so just skip her through all her PE classes"?
@@owenmerrill1501 she stayed during PE class, but she just sat to the bench to chat with her friends during breaks and watching the others
Or maybe, PE class in usa has a different organization
Possibly lymphedema.
Which is painful as all get out.
My grandma yells at my grandpa but he didn't do anything he just can hear good
Not disabled, but I stim because I'm ND. Please don't mimic me, it makes me very self-conscious. Stimming is how I calm down and cope.
im deaf/hard of hearing, i can vouch for all the hearing impaired ones on this list and add... "do you understand?" hearing has nothing to do with understanding anything. "why are you so quite?" because I havent heard a word about what you all are talking about to add anything to the conversation. "do you know sign language?" do you? no? then how would help?? That sign isnt what you think it means. "If you are disabled and need assistance call this number..." .... seriously?......... i could go on and on
I'm autistic. High functioning, with a normal intelligence, and also ADHD. Don't assume I'm stupid. Don't treat me differently, other for the few things I tell you (Tell me when I'm monologuing too much or should change topic, use words instead of body language, and if I ask if some thing is sarcastic please just answer truthfully).
The worst thing is people who tell me that I have to be able to do specific things. "You're too old for a panic attack" (Well, you are the reason I developed a fear of meltdowns). "Can't you sit still?" (Can a fully blind person read you a book? Or can a paralyzed person walk up the stairs?)
Things like that. Just because my problems are invisible doesn't mean they aren't there.
I don't mind people telling me "The second cousin if my best friend's partner is autistic too". I just tell people "Yeah, we're everywhere and planning world domination" or something like that.
Being told I dont look disabled. Not all disabilities are visible and despite I can walk, its for short distance with lots of breaks
im disabled and ive heard a religious form of your an inspiration i was told that what i go through will make people serve God cause they will look at me and think if she can do it with all her medical issues i can do it too
I once waited at a train stop. Then, a couple asked me questions about the trains. Questions that were obvious for everyone who read these big signs that explained everything. So I read the signs to them. And THEN I found out that they both happened to be blind.
I'm not disabled but I hate when people who don't need glasses where them, it's like parking in a handicapped spot
I’m sorry for asking but how come that annoys you
Some people in my class are those ‘popular girls’ and they have started this thing where dressing like a ‘nerd’ is shexy or something, whereas me who actually wears glasses gets kinda annoyed by this
Tee Hee alright thanks for responding
@@knekoicy8832 as someone who also wears glasses it doesn’t bother me, so don’t take this as a “everyone who needs glasses hates when they are used as accessories”
Now what does bother me is people telling me I looked better in glasses when I switched to contacts. Like gee, thanks. I didn’t just spend $150 for a year’s supply to wear them I’ll go back to glasses now
As a kid, i know that kids fucking suck
If I make jokes about my disability I’m not depressed, I’ve just learned to not give a shit about being in a wheelchair.
I completely empathize with all of these people. I have a congenital skin condition (Epidermolysis Bullosa Simplex 1 - Webber Cockayne Type...long name, I know), and have mild anxiety and some depression. The depression and anxiety I deal with easily by telling people to fvck off! But the skin condition makes it difficult to be on my feet for long periods of time, wear ill-fitted jewelry/wearable tech, or anything that causes excessive friction causes (eventually unsightly) blisters that would honestly cripple most of suddenly afflicted. Suggesting I take up any kind of job just for now is one I’ve come close to losing family and friends over. I’ve been thru more “comfortable shoe” recommendations than I can remember, insoles are shit, reducing perspiration in socks (with talcum powder) was noble until 3rd grade. And people who have legit walked away while I struggled to keep up...I no longer associate with.
As an autistic person I'm glad that people never treat me differently, people deal with my shit a bit more if they know but I would love for someone to actually tell me "Monica you've told me this before" so I don't repeat myself too much as I for get who I've told things too
I need to see these today and everyday! I'm 54 now but my disabilities started when I was around 8. Kids, teachers, parents, everyone insisted I was "looking for attention". Nope, I was not- how about checking things out before you take a guess at why I'm having a difficult time? If some of my conditions were treated when I was a child they could have prevented a lot of things that are still going on and can no longer be addressed. But inside I'm every bit as smart as you if not smarter! Don't tell me my limits!
I've got chronic non-migraine headaches + ME/CFS + like a dozen or more other issues, mostly mental health, but a few gastrointestinal and several immunological, that I'd rather not list out. Basically, several kinds of "invisible" disabilities, and most of them are the kind where some days I'm basically a normal person, and other days I need to be reminded to eat/drink/take meds/send an email to my teachers to explain why I'm not in class/etc, because I can't stand not being distracted from all of the shit going on with my body, so I spend the whole day reading and playing videogames.
So. With that out of the way, here are the things I hate the most that other people do, which are all things people SAY:
*"You could do that (insert some amount of time ago, be it hours or weeks)"*
Yes. I could. Then I got really freaking tired, my head feels like it's trying to explode, and trying to remember the recipe for boiled water takes me a few minutes. I was just fine doing an oral presentation at noon on monday, but today isn't monday and it isn't noon, it's 9:40 am on wednesday.
*"Oh, if you really felt like your pain was a 7 out of 10, you'd be on the floor crying"*
That's what I was doing the first nine months I was at a 7+, then I got used to it. It's still really painful, but crying on the floor isn't going to help it, I'm just sitting here suffering through the pain I never wanted to get used to. And don't say "oh, you're used to a lot of pain, huh? Then why did you swear and hop around when you stubbed your toe?" because that's a different kind of pain. Acute pain is very much not chronic pain.
*"It's all in your head"*
Yes, I'm fully aware that I do, in fact, have hands. I am also aware that because of shit that's going on in my head, my brain keeps trying to delete its awareness of my hands existing. That's just the most extreme example, but it also applies to, like, my headaches. On the other hand (when I'm aware of having an "other hand" lol), no, my gastroparesis is not all in my head.
*"Well, how long until you're better?"*
Without any new medical breakthroughs, I'll be better when I'm 6 feet under. But what you're really asking is when I'll be able to do whatever task you're asking me to do, and the answer to that is "I don't know. It could be tomorrow, or it could be in eight weeks".
*"No, I want him to answer the question, don't answer for him"*
Be prepared to wait a long fucking time. If someone related to me is answering for me, it's because I can't, or I'm conserving mental stamina. This mostly happens with new doctors (and one specific family member, if you're reading this, you know who you are, and fuck you) I'll let someone else explain my medical history and answer the questions that've been asked by every doctor I've ever met, and then the new ones, those are the ones I'll answer. I've got maybe five answers in me, so I'd rather spend those on ones where nobody else has the answer than on the question "when did this start?". (BTW, the answer to that question is usually August 17th, 2015 if it's not "Uh, my birthday, give or take" "Which one?" "My BIRTH day")
*"Apple? Orange? Pear? Oh, banana! No? A plum?"*
It was a donut. If I'm having issues finding the right word, don't throw specific words at me, throw categories. Something to help narrow it down.
Here's how I'd like it to go: "For breakfast, I only had a, uh, uh, um..." "Is it a fruit?" "No" "A vegetable, then?" "No..." "Some kind of pastry or bready thing?" "Yeah" "Did you make it yourself or eat it right out of the package?" "Just grabbed it and ate it" "Fruity or chocolaty?" "Chocolate, with like a, uh, damnit, the sour fruit thing... whatever that's called, but not the thing itself, like, spread on top, but not a spread, just a not-bready layer thingie" "A chocolate muffin with lemon glaze?" "Lemon, yeah, that's the word. No, not a muffin" "A chocolate donut with lemon glaze?" "Yes, that's the thing, thank you!"
Of course, this goes not just for food. And if I'm on not quite as bad a day, give me a moment and I'll start to add those descriptions myself, bear with me, and it'll go from really general to pretty useful after a few iterations. "Oh, it's a little thing, with a bunch of other things hanging from it, and those things are metal, and they aren't all the same shape but similar, and the shapes matter, and-" "Your keys?" "Yes, thanks, keys. I'm looking for my keys. I think I left them in that room with the sharp things and the big flat thing with the big hole, and the metal bit over the hole that the water comes out of, and the hot bit next to it with the hotter box underneath, and the cold things on the other side of the room behind the door, but not the door you walk through-" "The kitchen?" "Yeah, that's it"
-~-~-~-~-
That being said, questions about what's going on from my perspective, or what I do to manage these unusual difficulties are always welcome - well, not always, some days I don't give enough of a fuck to answer, and some days I don't have any fucks to give even if I wanted to, but if you ask me on a good day, I'll usually answer and be happy someone cares. Ask away in the comments, please. I don't mind.
I've got chronic daily headaches too. They are different every time. They vary in location, severity and duration. Some are mild but some are debilitating.
@@salijayehinsen2892 Oof, that must've made it a lot harder to get used to. With the exception of severity, mine are pretty much the same every day. Pressure that I can't tell if it's like my head is wanting to explode outwards or collapse inwards, all over, worst soon after I wake up (like, it builds up for 15~45 minutes) and then slowly going down over the course of the rest of the day, eventually settling down at a 3~4 (0-10 scale). Some days it never gets above the baseline 3~4, other days I just shut down because of the 8.5, and one day, christmas eve of 2017, I straight up passed out from pain like eight times throughout the day.
With treatment, it's gotten somewhat better. The baseline hasn't changed, neither has the general pattern, but it doesn't go super high (above a 7) anywhere near as often as it used to, and it's now about four days a week that it peaks at or below a 5.
People often don't seem to get that chronic doesn't mean constant and/or consistent. It's too often that I have to explain that, just because I have chronic fatigue, that doesn't mean I always feel like I just finished running a marathon 24/7, it simply means that it's decently common for me to feel like that. Likewise, my headaches aren't consistent in severity. How do you deal with people who have that line of thinking?
I really hate people telling me that I just have to try harder. I've been trying to find steady work for over 30 years. The people that say this, I'd love to see them in our shoes and try and get a job with a disability then they would really see how hard it is for us!!!!! Just typing this makes me so FUCKING ANGRY AND DEPRESSED!!!!!!
Coming from an autism/aspergers positive, always assuming the role of second parent (even when Mommy’s around) and assuming I’m just a kid. Understandable for the dependent... but to a hf who been through years of rehab, emotional aches, educational qualifications and headaches, let me call the shots! Here I am getting my integration into society (ongoing since 2014-5 with train commutes to the city for uni class) and you over parenting and overscrutinising my move like you’re going to smack my hand and drag me to the corner. Calm down! Now you’ve got an overhesitant nobody worrying about starting plans when life is already starting! Augh!
On another note, I did learn how to swallow up the “you don’t look autistic”. Dude, I get that a lot since diagnosis at age 4 and integrative rehab during the school period! I wish I could use the egg moniker (if brain wiring isn’t enough) to explain it: everyone else is sunny side up assuming I’m scrambled beyond cognition, while here I am a popped yolk non-omelette!
Here's a moniker I came up with that my autism group and a wider audience have enjoyed, and you're welcome to share it - They're Windows Computers. We're Apple. They can't understand why we can't use their Windows-based programs but do have our own versions, and get mad at us for it.
(Not saying Windows is better than Apple or vice versa, was just the best comparison I could think of, two machines with the same functions but different Operating Systems and coding.)
@@Roadent1241 I’ve heard of that too. ☺️
@@RabidLeroy Either someone came with it before me or you were in the audience of that presentation mine was said in. XP
Depression and hearing shit like "listen to a song that makes you happy! You'll feel better!"
I’m autistic and I really hate when I’m having a meltdown in public and someone who says they work with autistic people wants to help me. They think because they work with autistic people that they are to help random autistic people out in public. Your job is not to help me because you are not assigned to me. You should just leave me alone because my mom or dad can help me.
Having things like arthritis and scoliosis at a young age is a pain. "You're too young to have that" bitch please.
I have adhd and (possibly) depression.
People try to help me with schoolwork because I apparently can’t do shit with adhd.
“Let me help you with your work”
No thanks I’m fine
“No let me help.”
Bish I have done 4x more work in the last hour than you have in the last week.
Idk if that's in the video bc I'm still watching but it's in my mind right now: "You'll grow out of it. It's more common in children!"
I got that shit with 18! I'll probably have it forever! Yes, I tried that drug!
And. Don't. Randomly. Touch. Me!
I have Aspergers. When I raise an issue about something, I sometimes get the "oh, he's jsut having an autistic meltdown, he will be fine soon" attitude from a select few. I dont really consider myself disabled but I guess my experiences fit the question slightly
I don't have an official diagnosis, but I have a terrible time hearing individual voices in crowded areas making conversations in restaurants and public areas difficult, but I can hear water dripping in the attic on insulation. Anyways, I have an ex friend who used yo get enraged when I asked him to repeat or speak up in crowded situations. I explained why and he just exploded at me that I wasn't listening. I got mad back and told him that if I wasn't listening and wasn't interested in what he was saying I wouldn't ask him to repeat. There are a lot of reasons that guy is an ex friend....😒
grandma approved
Player-approval
Grandma
I’m 18 and I have carpal tunnel in both hands- it’s hell but thankfully no one sees it unless I’m wearing my brace.
Maybe this is just me, but; being called normal (especially if it is said without prompting)
I suffer from birth defect, that causes some mild disabilities with my speech, motor control, hand-eye coordination, and appearance.
Over the years I've come to loathe how some people try use "you're normal" as a way of comfort.
When majority of peoples reaction have been fear, pity, or disgust, being called "normal" isn't exactly believable.
Thing is, I can hide my unusual appearance, which makes me appear more as shy/anxious guy.
Funny thing is; when I do, I don't get told I'm normal, I get treated like normal.
So to me, who ever says such things, doesn't see me as normal but they are trying to be nice about it, which I just find dishearteningly dishonest.
Telling someone with anxiety/OCD that there's nothing to worry about, yeah I KNOW THAT but my body is freaking out
If somebody tells you they're stressed but just want to be left alone listen to them, I know I'm fine but my brain is freaking out and I just got to calm it down
*Having a panic attack*
"Calm down, everything is fine"
*"OH YOU DON'T THINK I KNOW THAT?"*
My dad and I both have MS and I feel so much for others who don't have family support or understanding. I'm lucky to only have symptoms of drop foot and vertigo right now but my dad uses a wheelchair so I also know how intense it can get.
Whenever someone gives you unwanted advice on anything, give them some advice back.
You can either be insulting or say some random shit to confuse the shit out of them.
Like always buy the good sandpaper, start at a low grit and gradually go up in grit count and clean up as you go.
When I tell someone I'm on the autism spectrum and they say "You don't look autistic" as if it's a compliment. Wtf am I supposed to look like?
i have an aggressive form of asthma but with low triggers. is FAR BELOW most, if not pretty much any other disability, but if it get triggerd at night, I am flat out incapable of sleep, and without the medication at hand, I'm a "getting up to answer the phone in a dusty room too quickly" from riscking loosing consciousness.
and I don't care "what should a guy that is quadriplegic say?" it's gatekeeping, let anyone have their griefs, small as they can be
8:35 THIS OOO DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED I HATE THIS.
He does do everything for a reason, disabled poeple would simply be far too powerful if he didn't hinder them in some way
@@archygrey9093 and this is why I don't believe in God
@@kingkenaipierre3669 Its a joke, almost a meme, the comment is mocking those "god does everything for a reason" poeple.
The jokes been around for a few years so you might see it in other places too
I pushed a woman in a wheelchair once, but she was stuck and couldn’t get unstuck and actually needed help.
"Awww, you need help with that?"
"Uh, no. I got it."
"Well, I'll just get that for you."
"I was perfectly capable of getting that myself, but okay I guess."
"Is there anything else that you need help with?"
"No thanks. I'm going back to my room now."
"Do you need any assistance with that?"
"I'll just use the elevator."
*looks at elevator, which is only a few feet away*
"Ooooh, that's quite a distance."
"I think I can manage."
*grabs wheelchair and starts pushing*
"If only I could use my legs, first thing I'd do is kick your ass."
Invisible disabilities...sick to death of people thinking I'm normal, just because I LOOK normal....I assure you, I am far from it...Autism, mild PTSD, ADHD, Diabetes, Asthma, severe back pain, joint pain...I just wish more people understood about invisible disabilities. Would make life a bit easier for all of us.
7:35 "If someone politely asks you to repeat yourself, be a decent human being, and kindly repeat what you said!" Reminds me of school. I witnessed many people asking the teacher: "What was the question?" How many times did the teacher repeat the question? In all those years, total, all teachers combined, 0. They just left annoyed and gave a bad grade. They didn't even ask, or say what they believe, why the student didn't understand the question. Perhaps the student understood everything except for the question? Perhaps the others were too loud but the student doesn't wanna tattle? Perhaps a pen fell right next to them when the question was asked? Perhaps they have a condition like yours but never told anyone out of fear of getting bullied?
By the way, that scene in Percy Jackson, in the museum, when he literally took his earphones out of his ear and asked for the question to be repeated, and the question was simply repeated, that was completely unrealistic. No teacher at my school would have been so tolerant after finding out the student has been listening to earphones the whole time, especially because the possession of any electronic device was forbidden. Except for medical devices, -of course- . (I'm striking out "of course" because you can't take anything for granted at schools.)
I literally failed my 8th grade math class because my teacher would mumble, stare at the whiteboard the whole time, and go through his lectures *way* too fast. He would literally trigger disassociative spells in me because even though I was sitting in the front of the classroom and fully focused, I could not understand a single word he was saying for the entire lecture. Seating me in the front of the classroom was the only accommodation he would provide me. He wouldn't help with assignments, wouldn't re-explain things from the lecture I couldn't understand, wouldn't send me a copy of the powerpoint, etc.
I didn't realize at the time that I was hard of hearing, but he brought out *so* many red flags that he really should've noticed instead of assuming I was slacking off despite making straight A's in every other class.
I have ADHD and Dyslexia and when I was in seventh grade during state testing week in Spanish class we were playing a gimkit and people kept on playing the summer song and it bother me so much it hurt my ears. I asked my teacher Sra Perra (not her real name) to ask the class not to play the summer song since it hurted me. She wear my Bluetooth headphones
(I didn’t have them for two reasons one I was using a loaner laptop and two it was STATE TESTING WEEK and you CANNOT use Bluetooth during state testing) I told that I didn’t bring for those reasons. She told she couldn’t do anything and it was my fault for not bringing my headphones. Remember that song HURTED me. I don’t remember what happened after that besides that ear hurted of a few days.
I hated my seventh grade Spanish most people did
F U SRA PERRA
If the chronic pain is debilitating to the point where you can't make a living wage, yes, it is a disability. The paperwork IS exhausting. The whole process of getting disability is annoying, frightening, and frustrating as hell. You need a good support system and a good lawyer. Keep good records of all your doctor visits (and don't forget the psychologist/psychiatrist). It just takes a lot of time (like years) and you need to have some means of support in that time because if YOU work at all, you will be denied. And even after you are awarded disability, the burden of proof is on you. You will be reviewed ever so often to make sure you still "deserve" disability. Once you finally have it though, that is the easy part, and having a source of income, even if it is fixed, is so helpful. BTW, you CAN get disability if you are married. I'm not, but I know someone who did. If you apply, stick with it and don't give up hope.
Can someone explain to me why it’s supposed to be inspirational to live life with a disability
Like sometimes it shows me that my disability doesn’t limit me like I thought if i see another person with it and it gives me ideas but outside of that
What does inspirational mean for something I can’t control
I had a minor stroke when I was 29 and if some tried to tell me I faked it or that I was too young to have one and I was lying, they really wouldn't like my reaction to that.
Just because my eyes are bad ( I mean really bad) doesn’t mean I need you to alert me about it
Can’t stress this enough, frien. I have Nystagmus and so many people will go “You’re looking in the wrong direction.” All I wanna say is, “I know, they’re MY eyes-”
I hate it when someone grabs my crutch. Not to bring it to me or anything like that. No just to play with it. And I FUCKING hate it cause it's part of me
0:36 ...tha class pet colon 💩😲
I have bpd, severe depression and anxiety. I hate hate hate when people tell me to get over it or just not think about something. Or the you let it get to you. They don’t understand that I can not control my thoughts or feelings or emotions. Don’t tell me you have depression and don’t let it effect you. Congrats. Sorry I can’t be as strong as you and just ignore it.
Oh another one. I’ve been hospitalized 2 times and sent to a mental hospital both times I’ve had people say, “what are you doing here? You’re too pretty to be sad” like wtf does that even have to do with anything? It’s like bc someone is attractive in your eyes they can’t be depressed? It’s weird and rude to say.
I am a type 1 diabetic and one of things that I do not want is sympathy comments like "I'm so sorry". It just bothers me to no end. There's also the "there's no way that you look like a diabetic" comments and the "can you eat that" comments (what is this, the 1980's?). I also have high functioning autism and just want to be treated like a "normal" person, please and thank you.
I have to wear a chest brace because I have this thing called pigeon chest. Its really hard not to be able to play sports with your friends,do p.e. in school and sleeping at night is so hard. I cant lift heavy things so lifting my school bag is probably the worst. Most people are really nice about it but others try to downplay the fact that I cant run in p.e. or other crap like that so just be nice and understanding not condescending or rude. People already have it hard enough dont make them feel worse
Marfan syndrome?
(No you don't have to answer)
@@tangenty6987 No its ( I dont know how to spell this) pectus carinatum. That's the medical term but its easier to just say pigeon chest
Cerebral palsy here! It was pretty much a staple for me in P.E for them to let me win at sports and go into fake cheers. Even though we both know it wasn't a fair fight.
I'm blind, and the how many fingers am I holding up trick really annoys me! Also. I'm not a hero for learning to live with blindness.
I feel like the people who did this just want to get out of class
It’s so annoying because for a blind person speaking louder doesn’t help that’s for deaf people not blind people
I’m a person with many disabilities, genetic disorders and chronic illnesses but “don’t look disabled” according to many people. It’s very irritating. I’m sorry you don’t see my chronic pain, and social struggles, but just because you can’t see something, doesn’t mean it’s not there.
I have AD/HD and other learning difficulties. Something that always bugged me was that when I would ask for help with an assignment, the person I asked would just tell me the answer. Like, no Kevin, I need help with the question. Just giving me the answer doesn't help me at all.
Also, here's a hypothetical one. I recently got into this German show called Dark, and I've also been watching other foreign movies and TV shows with subtitles. If I'm ever watching it with someone, the last thing I would want is for that someone to try and "help" by reading the subtitles out loud to me. I can read just fine, Kevin. It's math I have trouble with.
Edit: Finally, I'm not interested in any of those smake oil remedies. If anyone were to try giving me their wingnut medicine, especially if it involved squirting essential oils where the sun don't shine, I would not be very happy with them.
Dear really sweet guy in the piedmont hospital in Atlanta.
I'm sorry for the way I reacted to your cerebral palsy and wheelchair. My dad was dying and in an attempt to not have to field questions I talked like you weren't there and I felt shitty immediately. I apologized then and sent an apology in a letter that I hope you got. I'll never not feel bad about how I could not stop my word vomit in that moment and I know it hurt you and I'm so sorry. I'm hope my "isn't his chair so cool!" doesn't echos in your head like it does for me.
I handled it so poorly and I feel so bad.
my dad lived... sorta. he got an extension while waiting on a heart now... but still no excuse for treating you essentially like a zoo exhibit trying to stop my kids from being.... kids.
they have the excuse of being a kid. i had no excuse. *sigh* ughhh
21:56 PITY THE GUARDSMEN!!!
I have add so I wouldn’t say i’m disabled but the most annoying thing for me is when people ask me “(insert name here) do I need to repeat it for you)” I just say no thank you but in my head i’m like “shut up, of course I don’t, I have the highest grades out of the whole class, why do I need it repeated.
So I have Cp but I’m very mobile, I can walk but I don’t do good with steps and people will push me away from the railing or just tell me to go faster. Another thing that help me not trip is having my shoes untied so I can hear where my feet are placed please don’t ask me to tie them or tell l should know how to tie them.
Oh and I have asthma I have a teacher who ask me if I have to take me halter. And yes I can wear a mask but if I rip it off and lay on my desk, it’s for a reason I can’t breath.
Colorblind (deuter). People who point to random shit like a banana and say "What color is that?!" Like dude, we don't all see in black and white. And yes, I can drive. Green and red lights are tinted in such a shade that make it easy for us deuters.
I'm legally blind with very very minimal vision
1) please do not come up behind us, grab our arm and start walking us in the direction you believe we want to go. If you want to offer assistance, please step to the side of us, make your existence known and offer your help but please do not touch us without our consent.
2) please do not speak in a louder than normal tone or yell when talking to us. We may not be able to see very well but our hearing is just fine.
I saw this woman with her seeing eye dog struggling to go across the road even though there was no vehicles approaching, I approached her, said excuse me do you need some help crossing the road and she said she did, I didn't grab her or her dog, I helped her and her dog across the road and crossed back over as I was going the opposite way, well I may have shouted a bit however it's not because I thought she couldn't hear it's because I can't hear properly, I'm hearing impaired and sometimes people who are hearing impaired do unintentially shout to anyone, visually impaired or someone who can see fine, I am a guide runner for a friend and people think we are a couple having an argument around the course we are running because I shout more as more blood goes to my ears they more they sound blocked am able to hear less so I unintentially shout, my friend knows I'm hearing impaired and all I have to say if I'm struggling to hear and he will speak up to the point where he sometimes ends up shouting, we've heard comments from other runners about us shouting at each other, think at one point someone tried complaining to someone who knows I'm hearing impaired and they explained to this runner that my hearing gets even worse when I run so have to shout and other people have to shout, apparently they felt so so guilty about trying to complain, never got told who but yeah they went away with the thought that not everyone's disability is visible
0:36
How the heck does a class pet colon look like?
i don't really like how some comments say 'wheelchair bound' instead of 'wheelchair user'
8:33 but god *does* do everything for a reason! The disabled would be too powerful if left unhindered...
~squint~ ... Might be onto something there. Can we asked to stop being told to Pray It Away now then? XP
No one seems to understand the irony of stereotyping autistics as having no empathy. If anything, my autism has made me more empathetic. I'm baffled at how people make assumptions based off of physical attributes without actually getting to know the person. If someone is breaking down in public, they assume it's a tantrum without actually knowing the cause. They just think they know, even if it's really far from the case, and can't accept otherwise. In most cases, assumptions only make things worse, yet neurotypicals never seem to learn. Do not get angry at someone for not understanding something that you do, chances are the person will beat themselves up over it or you'll look like the rude one
I'm visually impaired, I don't use a cane. Because I'm stubborn and can see enough get around. Another reason is because I know people will judge me, because of my disability.
If I need help I'll ask, let me just go on with my day. I'm not less human because of my disability, treat me with respect like you would any other person. disability does not define a person.
Never ask a blind person. How many fingers you’re holding up. It’s extremely disrespectful.
But what if a blind guy does it to a blind guy