I really like the idea of a breakup fund. As someone who likes to hope for the best but plan for the worst, this makes a lot of sense to me. Great points overall and I'll definitely keep these in mind as I'm about to move in with my partner.
Great advice! Many of these aligned with the discussions my partner and I had before we moved in together. I had learned from past mistakes what not to do. I think your best tip is one I ignored when I was younger. Have a break up fund set aside just in case. My grandmother always told me to make sure I had money set aside that was just mine and she was right!
I think no matter the situation, you should always have a shared account for shared expenses, and two seperate ones where you have also seperate emergency funds. I personally think it puts less strain on the relationship, when some emergency costs that are caused by just one person also gets handled by that person. Of course it's different, when you get married and decide to have one partner stay at home. But then it's even more relevant that the stay at home parentgets to have their own emergency fund for whatever thing that might come up.
Me and my boyfriend have been living together for six months. I’m 36 he’s 43. I have one child he has none. He cooks , I clean , he pays 65% I pay 35% towards the bills. We usually resolve conflicts within 2 to 3 days. It’s hard when you have a disagreement. Someone has to give in. So far the good has outweighed the bad. My first time and his first time really shaking up.
My boyfriend is ok with a lot of clutter and mess. I am not, having grown up with semi-hoarders as a kid. We are past middle age. I love the idea of living with him. We enjoy each other's company and we enjoy sex. Also it would be great to get rent on my small apartment. But hen I look at his place and say "wow, he's got things spread all over the place here. There's no room for me without a major reorganization and purging." And that's where it ends. I am sad about this and I feel guilty for not trying harder. Thanks for your great insights. These are good questions to think about. Co-habitating is very serious, more so than marriage, in a way.
My partner wants to move in with me, I earn much less than he does. He earns more than double of my salary- nearly triple. He expects me to pay half of the rent, bills, food. I can’t afford that and quite frankly, I think it’s wrong. I asked him why he wants to live with me. He said to save on costs and spend more time together. I told him, I’m looking for marriage and would like to build a family and if he doesn’t want that, it won’t work out for me. He got mad and said he wants that too but later on. Btw, we have been dating for 5 years. We fight a lot, not sure if living together would be smart. What do you think?
I'm glad you were vocal on what you want. It sounds like the move would save him money but cost you more! It might not necessarily be the best move on your part.
Listen to your gut instinct! You posed that question because of doubt... Consider if he is truly serious and do not waste your youthful years on a man who may not be totally committed! Men usually know within a few months, if they intend to marry a woman. Wishing you the best in whichever decision you choose to make ❤
Woow love the tips am single and I can't wait time I will get a partner to discuss with him these good informative ✍️ questions thanks alot @ Bola 💥💥💥💯💯
What if the guy you were dating asked you to move in with him & you weren't sure cause of a past relationship & then 2017 happened & he asked you to marry him but you couldn't even speak , this has been on my mind alot since then
I remember one year my ex & in laws agreed to only give gifts for the children (FINALLY). I had no problem w giving because I always kept a Christmas club (have since I was five & still do 48 yrs later) But the ex thought it was 'childish & made no sense🙄.' So I just kept it to myself. I put in the $$ I saved from using coupons at the grocery store and extra change I came across. Each year I've had about $300-$500 (which is a lot if you're working w someone who spends everything.) But every year I always took the kids for pictures (my cell phone quality wasn't too keen in the early 2000s) to JCP w a coupon. They'd get dressed up & we'd have an early a.m. appt in late summer/early fall, & I'd get a package of different poses of Holiday backgrounds of about 70-80 pics for $10. Then I'd get frames from $$store or fancier ones from thrift stores for .50 and wrap holiday pics for grandparents, relatives in other states, great grandparents, aunts & family close by, etc.) postage was minimal if you send it book rate. Well, one year when ex wasn't working (but still spending) it was decided to be a 'kids only' gifts (which I always felt it should have been anyway). Our kids had saved their odd job $$ and they bought all the adults things like a pair of socks & snuggly blankets for the grandmoms), manicure kits & a car freshener (for the uncles & dad), & candy bar or Mike & ikes for each other. I put the pictures in frames and had made the adults all their own banana apple or apple pumkin mini loaf (18-20 in all from scratch) and put two fruit flavored tea bags from the multipack I got at the farmers market. My principal & APs had given the office staff each Starbucks gift cards. So that came to about 5 gc a piece. So I bought each of the kids a puffy cookie and something like a cakepop. I also filled shoe boxes with school supplies I had stocked up on over the years (they were between 5th- 7th grade & tri boards are ALWAYS needed for projects 😂) and a $5 gc to the $3 movie theater we had here. I probably spent $100 total on 15-25 people and EVERYONE got something fun, useful, & delicious. The adults got the kids things like the hand held video games and bracelet/jewelry making kits. Simple things. My daughter says she remembers how disappointed her cousins were (because they were used to things like video consoles, top brand shoes, etc) but how excited her brothers and she were because they knew how chaotic our house was and they never were sure what the situation was going to be. Everyone enjoyed themselves but the kids & I got stonewalled by him from Christmas night until new year's under the reasoning that we shouldn't have given anything to the adults...who doesn't want pictures of their grandkids & since when is $5 spent of their own money at Dollar tree a bad thing😮?? It's sad to realize someone can be so insecure. I would think he would have been proud that they were bring taught to save and give. It's extremely important that you find out before deciding to be in a relationship the other person's views on saving, spending, giving, childrearing, what happens if you apply yourself and want higher aspirations than where you are, if they're going to be mad because you save, etc. I'm in my next lifetime and hubs & I have bi-weekly money dates, in addition to basic dates, we lay out our short-, mid-, & long-term goals for us as individuals and as a couple; we know where we stand emotionally, economically, we talked about the hard things BEFORE we started the relationship (and still do) so there aren't any surprises. When issues arise, we make time to work it through. We revamp vacations if things aren't lining up and decide on less expensive staycations right in our home state (one year we traded in the decision of going on one big New Year's Eve vacay to Niagara Falls for 2 staycations: a day trip (1.5 hrs) to TN To Ruby Falls & sightseeing, & a musuem trek on New Years eve eve day, then came home to rest & drove to Savannah (3 hr road trip 😊) New Years eve mid morning, caught a trolley tour and toured the mansions and had a wonderful dinner then headed for fireworks on the waterfront & a beautiful bed & breakfast for that night in Savannah 🎉🎉. BOTH trips, gas, and hotel were less than half of Niagara Falls airfare, car rental, hotel, finding food, and aggravation factor of TSA, possibly being stuck in an airport, no or overpriced food, PRAYING we don't get snowed in in Buffalo & trying to make it back home😂 Our children and bonus children understand they are the priority but we are united in our resolve to grow this through. Communication is KEY! ~Best to all.
Am falling in deep depression now. My boyfriend moved to my apartment without communicating with. I pay a bond, levies, taxes and rates. He only pays Dstv. Am very transparent I told and showed him as to how much am earning and my expenses but to him it's a problem... This guy nothing is transparent to him. From his background, friends and family. He is lazy I don't wanna lie, he will use the toilet and live all his poo in the toilet. Am stressed
I’m a man and I think that he simply isn’t ready for living alone” if you look that way if he would he would make more effort to make it work. Or yes you didn’t talk it trough.
You've told him the situation but now you need to also ask him to share the expenses or move out. Also determine if the issues you are facing are beyond financial....this will give you more clarity on the next decision you make.
I really like the idea of a breakup fund. As someone who likes to hope for the best but plan for the worst, this makes a lot of sense to me. Great points overall and I'll definitely keep these in mind as I'm about to move in with my partner.
Thanks for tuning in!
Great advice! Many of these aligned with the discussions my partner and I had before we moved in together. I had learned from past mistakes what not to do. I think your best tip is one I ignored when I was younger. Have a break up fund set aside just in case. My grandmother always told me to make sure I had money set aside that was just mine and she was right!
I think no matter the situation, you should always have a shared account for shared expenses, and two seperate ones where you have also seperate emergency funds.
I personally think it puts less strain on the relationship, when some emergency costs that are caused by just one person also gets handled by that person. Of course it's different, when you get married and decide to have one partner stay at home. But then it's even more relevant that the stay at home parentgets to have their own emergency fund for whatever thing that might come up.
Me and my boyfriend have been living together for six months. I’m 36 he’s 43. I have one child he has none. He cooks , I clean , he pays 65% I pay 35% towards the bills. We usually resolve conflicts within 2 to 3 days. It’s hard when you have a disagreement. Someone has to give in. So far the good has outweighed the bad. My first time and his first time really shaking up.
GREAT video!!! Will definitely do this if this happens again. ❤
Thanks for being here!
My boyfriend is ok with a lot of clutter and mess. I am not, having grown up with semi-hoarders as a kid. We are past middle age. I love the idea of living with him. We enjoy each other's company and we enjoy sex. Also it would be great to get rent on my small apartment. But hen I look at his place and say "wow, he's got things spread all over the place here. There's no room for me without a major reorganization and purging." And that's where it ends. I am sad about this and I feel guilty for not trying harder.
Thanks for your great insights. These are good questions to think about. Co-habitating is very serious, more so than marriage, in a way.
My partner wants to move in with me, I earn much less than he does. He earns more than double of my salary- nearly triple. He expects me to pay half of the rent, bills, food. I can’t afford that and quite frankly, I think it’s wrong. I asked him why he wants to live with me. He said to save on costs and spend more time together. I told him, I’m looking for marriage and would like to build a family and if he doesn’t want that, it won’t work out for me. He got mad and said he wants that too but later on. Btw, we have been dating for 5 years. We fight a lot, not sure if living together would be smart. What do you think?
I'm glad you were vocal on what you want. It sounds like the move would save him money but cost you more! It might not necessarily be the best move on your part.
Don’t do it!
5yrs. He's comfortable. He seem to like the roommate mentality 50/50 . That's not partnership
Listen to your gut instinct! You posed that question because of doubt... Consider if he is truly serious and do not waste your youthful years on a man who may not be totally committed! Men usually know within a few months, if they intend to marry a woman. Wishing you the best in whichever decision you choose to make ❤
The fighting a lot is a bad sign :( it’s hard to see clearly when you’re in it
This video was very helpful!
This was very informative,Thanks
Glad you enjoyed it!
Woow love the tips am single and I can't wait time I will get a partner to discuss with him these good informative ✍️ questions thanks alot @ Bola 💥💥💥💯💯
Thanks for tuning in! Yay!
Great insights, thanks a lot, 💯👌
Thanks for tuning in!
Great advice!!
Thanks for tuning in!
Yes
Thanks for tuning in!
Nice video 📹
Thanks for tuning in!
What if the guy you were dating asked you to move in with him & you weren't sure cause of a past relationship & then 2017 happened & he asked you to marry him but you couldn't even speak , this has been on my mind alot since then
I remember one year my ex & in laws agreed to only give gifts for the children (FINALLY).
I had no problem w giving because I always kept a Christmas club (have since I was five & still do 48 yrs later) But the ex thought it was 'childish & made no sense🙄.' So I just kept it to myself. I put in the $$ I saved from using coupons at the grocery store and extra change I came across. Each year I've had about $300-$500 (which is a lot if you're working w someone who spends everything.)
But every year I always took the kids for pictures (my cell phone quality wasn't too keen in the early 2000s) to JCP w a coupon. They'd get dressed up & we'd have an early a.m. appt in late summer/early fall, & I'd get a package of different poses of Holiday backgrounds of about 70-80 pics for $10. Then I'd get frames from $$store or fancier ones from thrift stores for .50 and wrap holiday pics for grandparents, relatives in other states, great grandparents, aunts & family close by, etc.) postage was minimal if you send it book rate.
Well, one year when ex wasn't working (but still spending) it was decided to be a 'kids only' gifts (which I always felt it should have been anyway). Our kids had saved their odd job $$ and they bought all the adults things like a pair of socks & snuggly blankets for the grandmoms), manicure kits & a car freshener (for the uncles & dad), & candy bar or Mike & ikes for each other.
I put the pictures in frames and had made the adults all their own banana apple or apple pumkin mini loaf (18-20 in all from scratch) and put two fruit flavored tea bags from the multipack I got at the farmers market.
My principal & APs had given the office staff each Starbucks gift cards. So that came to about 5 gc a piece. So I bought each of the kids a puffy cookie and something like a cakepop. I also filled shoe boxes with school supplies I had stocked up on over the years (they were between 5th- 7th grade & tri boards are ALWAYS needed for projects 😂) and a $5 gc to the $3 movie theater we had here. I probably spent $100 total on 15-25 people and EVERYONE got something fun, useful, & delicious.
The adults got the kids things like the hand held video games and bracelet/jewelry making kits. Simple things.
My daughter says she remembers how disappointed her cousins were (because they were used to things like video consoles, top brand shoes, etc) but how excited her brothers and she were because they knew how chaotic our house was and they never were sure what the situation was going to be.
Everyone enjoyed themselves but
the kids & I got stonewalled by him from Christmas night until new year's under the reasoning that we shouldn't have given anything to the adults...who doesn't want pictures of their grandkids & since when is $5 spent of their own money at Dollar tree a bad thing😮?? It's sad to realize someone can be so insecure. I would think he would have been proud that they were bring taught to save and give.
It's extremely important that you find out before deciding to be in a relationship the other person's views on saving, spending, giving, childrearing, what happens if you apply yourself and want higher aspirations than where you are, if they're going to be mad because you save, etc.
I'm in my next lifetime and hubs & I have bi-weekly money dates, in addition to basic dates, we lay out our short-, mid-, & long-term goals for us as individuals and as a couple; we know where we stand emotionally, economically, we talked about the hard things BEFORE we started the relationship (and still do) so there aren't any surprises. When issues arise, we make time to work it through.
We revamp vacations if things aren't lining up and decide on less expensive staycations right in our home state (one year we traded in the decision of going on one big New Year's Eve vacay to Niagara Falls for 2 staycations: a day trip (1.5 hrs) to TN To Ruby Falls & sightseeing, & a musuem trek on New Years eve eve day, then came home to rest & drove to Savannah (3 hr road trip 😊) New Years eve mid morning, caught a trolley tour and toured the mansions and had a wonderful dinner then headed for fireworks on the waterfront & a beautiful bed & breakfast for that night in Savannah 🎉🎉.
BOTH trips, gas, and hotel were less than half of Niagara Falls airfare, car rental, hotel, finding food, and aggravation factor of TSA, possibly being stuck in an airport, no or overpriced food, PRAYING we don't get snowed in in Buffalo & trying to make it back home😂
Our children and bonus children understand they are the priority but we are united in our resolve to grow this through.
Communication is KEY!
~Best to all.
Really
Am falling in deep depression now. My boyfriend moved to my apartment without communicating with. I pay a bond, levies, taxes and rates. He only pays Dstv.
Am very transparent I told and showed him as to how much am earning and my expenses but to him it's a problem... This guy nothing is transparent to him. From his background, friends and family.
He is lazy I don't wanna lie, he will use the toilet and live all his poo in the toilet. Am stressed
I’m a man and I think that he simply isn’t ready for living alone” if you look that way if he would he would make more effort to make it work. Or yes you didn’t talk it trough.
You've told him the situation but now you need to also ask him to share the expenses or move out. Also determine if the issues you are facing are beyond financial....this will give you more clarity on the next decision you make.
💯💯👍🏿