Thank you for addressing this in a way that's not one sided, as a Muslim woman it's exhausting constantly being made to feel (by religious leaders) like my well being (not just materialistic but mental and spiritual as well) are less important to Allah then man's desire to have more than 1 woman. Again, thank you for not giving a selfish response to this topic/situation. It's halal doesn't mean mandatory or good for everyone.
I absolutely agree with you. In my case ,he is not giving me any rights so when he remarry it's going to worsen,because the younger and second wife is always the favourite.
@@carljohnson2194he can't marry without her permission as saw didn't let Ali r.a marry second wife bcos it upsets Fatima so if he doesn't follow Nabi sunnah he is not Muslim
@will de Surah an Nisaa 34. Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient (to Allah and to their husbands), and guard in the husband's absence what Allah orders them to guard (e.g. their chastity, their husband's property, etc.). As to those women on whose part you see ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (next), refuse to share their beds, (and last) beat them (lightly, if it is useful), but if they return to obedience, seek not against them means (of annoyance). Surely, Allah is Ever Most High, Most Great.
In my opinion this matter should be discussed before marriage! Because there are women who accept to be in a polygamous marriege and there are woman who do not!
@@mukhtaar2355 as a Muslim U should know that I can put "no other wives" on the marriage contract and I have alll the right to do so if I want. If he agree with it then he has to live upon it. If not he can move on and so can I. I never said it's Haram but it's not Haram to not want it either.
People in this comment section Wallahi you are missing the point. Allah will never force a women to bear more than she can handle...mental health issues. Depression and just sadness anger and resentful are all things many women deal with because of polygamy I know a few who left the deen all together. Women now can provide for themselves and if she cant agree to this lifestyle then let the man practice this halal life and she can move on...simple very simple people no need to call names in the comment section it's all about choices
I also know sisters who left Islam with mental illness. Polygamy is only a sunnah not even a fard. The only part of Islam Muslims following is polygamy marriages. No time for Salah, no Qur'an, no fasting ect.
@@bashbash8279 wallahi you are so right...how about asking about our elderly or disabled neighbor...smh or just leaving other people to practice and be muslim minding their own business and work on themselves
@@manalmorsi6527 even drag dealers do polygamy sister, I'm not joking because I know lots of Muslim men. I know this one Muslim man who got second wife and the first wife had no food in the house, no coat for winter ect, he was drinking alcohol, taking cacina and making weed, going night clubs behind the wife's back! No Salah, no Qur'an, no fasting, no tahajjad, no jummah Salah on Fridays. They only following polygamy marriages and so many Muslim men do this because I've seen.
Two of my neighbours are women who are 2nd secret wives of two rich men. Theyre very young and beautiful and the men are old are not that attractive. Old enough to be their fathers. Their first wives are in different countries. The women are often sad. And live alone most of the time. I dont know but from what they tell us neither of the men treats them properly. Thats how many men are these days. They wont even pray will drink alcohol but when it comes to wives they become islamic and say that its a sunnah... they need to be good muslims first.
So true,all the women in polygamous marriage are miserable and i have seen it by myself.Everything else is just sugarcoating,only women who can be happy in poly marriages are those who are there just for money and doesn't expect emotional aspect of the company.
@@taimurahmadpure arrogance is comparing most modern Muslim men with no morals to our Prophet. If they are able to reach even half of his Sunnah, then by all means let them take 4 wives
How sinful a man is has no bearing on his right to marry up to 4 wives as long as he can fulfill their rights and treat them justly. Fear Allah. Don't put conditions on the laws of Allah out of your feelings and emotions.
@abu.nahiyan no one is saying dont marry 4. Just treat them fairly and not neglect some of them. If you cant do them justice only marry 1. Because if you wrong someone in this life. Itll be against you in the afterlife .
~ The Second Wife ~ A second wife is not a mistress That you hide under your mattress She is not a concubine that her rights is lesser than mine. She is not your playmate that you use only in bed Not a trial course that you plan to divorce If the first wife was made in heaven A second wife was not made from hell If the first shall be your childrens' mother The second is not just their babysitter You protect your first wife like a diamond And think the other was just another stone When you wake up and realize you can't afford the two She has to work and spend on her own. Remember that to be fair is your duty With her comes a greater responsibility Think carefully before your try cause the Second Wife could ruin your life.
@@zrugzrug1888 what? Most just ? Why would a woman accept a guy being with another girl ? You men are lucky to find one girl with this disgusting attitude. Any girl with these men will need counselling .
No women has to agree to anything. Some women may accept polygamy and some may not. A women isnt any less or "bad" because she doesnt except it. Shes human and she has the right to feelings. I personally would never except being a first,second wife etc. So she has the right to divorce and he can find someone who is okay with what he wants. Dont feel bad if u cant accept it ur not bad or a bad muslim theres no such thing and nor do u have to accept it. May Allah bless us with whats best for us.
Actually she is bad. She should have realised A) There is plenty of scientific and behavioural evidence to show men and women are biologically different and experience sex differently. Hence women should not deprive men of their biologically need for variety which women don’t have. B) Allah has told women men are different, have a weakness for women and so a right to polygyny. Women shouldn’t behave like they know better than Allah. Instead accept it but no.
@@jamdoughnut1873 😂 ok lmao. No one is responsible to accept anything. You can’t force your heart. Idc about science. Allah himself understands. If a woman isn’t able to accept it she doesn’t have to. So it doesn’t matter if a man thinks it makes a woman bad. You can’t force anyone to be ok with anything, you cannot force your heart nor should she. It’s not haram nor does it make her a bad woman even if u think so, Allah doesn’t. If you want a bunch of wives and have no self control and is able to fulfill your duties with all the wives then find women who are ok with it. And let’s not forget in the Quran Allah tells men it’s better for them to stick with one wife because they aren’t capable of fulfilling their duties to all wives. And I hope to all women who read your comment, please don’t listen to him his opinion is his. It doesn’t change the fact that you aren’t held responsible for the way you feel and you have the right to leave. In the eyes of Allah you are not sinning or a bad woman. Do what’s best for you. And if a man thinks that your a “bad” woman because of it then so be it lmao who cares honestly. And she isn’t acting like she bows better than Allah lmao what does that even mean. Go and have a million wives but Allah never said she’s forced to accept it. Go find wives who are accepting of it lol. And I could say the same to you when Allah warns men of them not being cable to fulfill their duties to all wives and to stick to one. So I can say the same to you about behaving like your better than Allah. Allah never told anyone to accept anything nor is she obligated to.
Wait dont talk nonsense. What can be done and cant be done are decided based on Quran and sunnah, not feelings. A woman has to accept and try to continue the marriage. But if she finds it too burdensome or something (it may even lead to sin) then she can ask for khula and give compensation to the husband for wanting khula (usually a similar amount to the dowry). She cant just “divorce” just because she doesnt like it (sounds weird because women dont give talaq). Its a different case if there is a condition of not marrying another wife in the marriage contract in which case she can ask for khula without giving a compensation if he marries another one.
@@propheticguidance7842 yes she can. You can’t force anyone to stay. Nothing is nonsense. What’s nonsense is trying to manipulate women into thinking they are bad for not being ok with it. It’s not haram or wrong for her to leave. She doesn’t have to try and work it out because what’s there to work out. She does not accept him having another wife so she leaves the end.
@@nor332 give your evidence from quran or sunnah that she can leave just because she wants to or she thinks it will not work out even though she hasnt tried to see yet if it works out for her. If you dont want polygyny then make the condition before marriage (and it will be his choice if he wants to accept the condition and marry you or look for someone else) just like islam permits. But if you dont make that condition (and as such he marries you instead of looking for someone else and gives you dowry) you cant just suddenly say you will leave if he marries someone else.
I am all for a Muslim man taking a second or even fourth wife that's Allah ruling, but I saw lots of man with no jobs at all, some even on benefits trying to take a second wife, what kind of deen is that.
@@Zeczam brother, you missed the point. if your first wife and children are not taking care of, and you are struggling to provide for them and the government is helping you out to care for them, you shouldn't be pursuing a second wife at all. period, once you can take of them by yourself. then, by All means, you should be encouraged to take a second wife.
@life Lesson a real Muslim man doesn't abuse his wife let alone beat her. my parents have married 30+ years and my dad never abuses my mom with words let alone with anything, I am married 3+ years, I never abuse my wife. it's in our religion not to abuse our women, and if any Muslim abuse his wife he should repent to Allah as he clearly goes against our beautiful religion and the teaching of our prophet Mohamed PBUH, and he followed his desire or his culture ( culture doesn't necessarily mean religion, we should separate).
Asalaam Alaikum Wa Ramutullah Wa Barakatuh at first I did not understand the hikman in this but now I totally agree. Sister made that a condition of your nikah let the brother decide if he wants to abide by it or find another wife. If the brother has any wisdom he would honor your arrangement. If he doesn't agree Ukht you have not lost any but you would have avoided a lot. Allah knows best.
If someone is not gonna want to be in a relationship anymore, he or she can decide to go..no need for permission of anyone. End of the story. I wont be depressed all my life just because my husband wants to fulfill his lust...what about me wanting more money? Can a guy give me that? he cant..so i go..this is crap of lying to your wife also..
Most men take a women and put her through so much struggle/babies etc when they have nothing but when she stays with him until he has money he suddenly wants a new wife
before marrying, specify that you want your husband to be exclusive just for you, and you disapprove plural marriage-NO other wives ! Put it in writing, have the groom sign it--- I want to be your "only" wife *
Wallah so true. They take her while she's a fragile ,warm,soft ,calm person,sensual ,feminjne ,sext . They turn her into a slave ,worse than a whipped horse then they want another
@@ammadasif1771 imao you really have a twisted moral compass if you're asking what is wrong with a man callously tossing his loyal wife's feeling asides for a new woman when he gets wealthier.
People have been conditioned to dislike Polygamy. I feel like the overwhelming majority women don’t want it and they can’t stand it. If you really want to have multiple wives, it’s gonna be hard to find someone who will be satisfied.
I do not dislike it there is 1 particular personal reason why my hubby having a 2nd wife may actually preserve our marriage, w that said, I will remain married to him ONLY IF she is a pious Muslima & hijabi. If she is a revert she must also be hijabi and have been a muslima for several years, keep her salats and know some surrahs and know the basics of Quran and what is a halal life style. Sure around the time of the prophet when Christians behaved as Christians and Jews behaved as Jews it was OK at that time for a Muslim man to marry a lady from either one of those faiths if there was no available Muslimas around, but in these times, everyone knows that an overwhelming majority of Jews and particularly Christians, are that in name only. Basically, if he brings home a kafur I’m out.
Yes it's true that people can be conditioned to dislike polygyny by both Western and non-western culture , or by their families and friends etc. But the fact of the matter is that a person doesn't necessarily have to be conditioned to dislike it. Even if people haven't been conditioned to dislike it, they can still dislike it because it's just their nature, i.e, they just naturally dislike it even without any external influence. I dislike it not because I've been conditioned, manipulated and brainwashed into disliking it, but because that's just the way I naturally am - it's just my nature.
I personally think women do not need to wait patiently and see how they will deal with their husbands second marriage to decide on khula, mainly because especially in the west and the society we live in, things which are not the norm can lead to severe mental and emotional pain leading to physical ailments. Men shouldn't take women frm cultures where it js not the norm of second marriages and subject a woman to that reality.
This is true but foe all women. Women do not accept as their natural state. This has meaning These men constantly tell men that they can have more than one wife without the restrictions upon it by Allah ? These are restrictions that will have weight They ignore it and act as if it is just a man’s right Men are not ‘allowed’ to marry more than one woman in Islam. After war when Muslims were outnumbered and men were killed women were left as widows with orphaned children. It was allowed that a man could take up to 4 women in THESE circumstances. Only if he could treat them JUST. That doesn’t mean give merely food and shelter. Being ‘just ‘ covers everything including emotions. If the woman does not fit these specifications it is adultery zina. It was a CONCESSION to widows and orphaned children only. Not a RIGHT for men. Believing Men Marry only Once by Default From Quranic point, believing men should marry only once as normal practice. We know this due to few reasons. One of them is that Allah states: "Marry those who are single among you including the righteous ones from your male and female servants." (Qur'an 24:32) Polygamy involves marriage to a man who is not single, therefore it is an exception only in the interest of taking care of orphans (marrying their mothers) - an exception, not a norm.
@@inaaranur1611 Sister can you please reference sources for your exegesis. Islam is based on Quran and Sunnah according to the understanding of the early Sahaabah and Scholars. What classical Tafsir literature proves your claim? Have you ever read a book of Islamic history/civilization? Were all the men marrying widowed women with orphans? Who preceded you in this subjective opinion of yours? Please don't be spreading misinformation about Islam. Men have been given the right from Allah to, marry multiple wives so long as they're equal in providing/provisioning for them all. To restrict polygyny to only widowed women with orphans needs proof(Tafseer) from the Salaf(classical exegesis).
@@enigmaticalmystery4647 but it is true. Sahabas mainly married women without a helping hand because their husbands had passed away in battles. Polygamy's purpose wasn't to entertain men more, it was to take care of helpless women. There was a significant change in gender ratio due to wars so number of women was more than the number of men, nowadays in almost all the muslim countries there are more men than women
@@abdullahmertozdemir9437 That's your personal subjective opinion brother, men have been marrying widowed or virgins from the beginning. The Sahaabah took on multiple wives they were of various backgrounds they may have been predominantly widows in times of war but, during times of peace and comfort they married virgins no doubt.
@@enigmaticalmystery4647 during times of peace scholars suggested to marry only one, as there was no need to get in polygamy and there was no need to take the risk of being unjust. Plus, a virgin might have a troublesome background too. What exactly do you think polygamy is for? To entertain husband's lust more and leave the wife heartbroken when there's literally no need to? There are more men than women, this will eventually cause problems
I did qul divorce on my husband because he was less caring for me and my children and we had issues for almost 10 years and I lhe wanted to torture me for a second wife while he knows he can’t afford and it was affecting me mentally financially and emotionally and even affecting my faithfulness to him .
Jajakallah khaer. Praying from the bottom of my heart that, may Allah ( SWT) reward you for describe this issue. Most of the muslim scholars describe this issue so harshly, so that we Muslim women often get puzzled.
It’s better to just stipulate monogamy in the marriage contract in the beginning not to be controlling but so you have the choice of walking away if you know something like that would cause you to be unhappy and suffer for the rest of your life. If a man is being very argumentative about it just leave it and marry someone else. Many men don’t mind in real life despite what the minority say on social media lol but they’ll try to convince you all men are combatant just to force you to give up. Just move on if it’s not for you. Also ask Allāh for a monogamous partner often if that’s what you really want and seek refuge with Him (often) from ending up in a polygynous situation. It’s not compulsory at the end of the day. Also I end with this Hadith where a woman sought khula when she was just very unhappy in her marriage despite no fault in he husband so what of when a man does something he knows will traumatize her over and over again for the rest of her life ? the wife of Thabit ibn Qays ibn Shammaas (may Allah be pleased with him) came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) and said, “O Messenger of Allah, I do not find any fault with Thabit ibn Qays in his character or his religious commitment, but I do not want to commit any act of kufr after becoming a Muslim.” The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said to her, “Will you give back his garden?” Because he had given her a garden as her mahr. She said, “Yes.” The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said to Thabit: “Take back your garden, and divorce her.” (Narrated by al-Bukhari, 5273).
If a man really love a women he won't search nother one. He won't make her suffer and won't do anything which separate her from him . I know it's halal but reality is this.
AlSalaamu Alaikum Sister. Respectfully, your statement is false. A man can marry a second wife and still love his first wife. Think about the prophet and the sahabah, did they not have multiple wives? Did they not still love their first wife? Your idea comes from the negative influences from western culture which portray marriage as a fairytale. Even in the West my sister, men are polygynous, they have extramarital haraam relationships whether with a mistress or a girlfriend. It is in the nature of man to want to be with multiple women and Allah (swt) restricted men to 4 wives. Who are we to put restrictions on what Allah made permissible for men to fulfill their God-given natural desire in a halal way. Think about it, if Muslim women make it impossible for a man to take another wife by having the mindset you have (“he took another wife so he doesn’t love me”), what halal avenues are left? Marriage is the only way. Muslim men should not engage in the evil ways of the West like mistresses, girlfriends, pornography and other evils. This permissibility to have multiple wives for men is from the wisdom of Allah (swt). Do you think Allah (swt) would legislate something that is unjust? Obviously not. Please don’t claim that a man does not love his first wife if he takes a second. This is completely false. If you have a child, then have a second, do you stop loving the first? No, you love them both. I am not claiming women are like children, I’m just giving you an example. Allah (swt) knows best.
@@aladdin_aljaylani why men can't lower their gaze. Why he can't control their desire. If first wife don't like taking second then it's hurting first wife can man take second, if he really love her he won't take second that what I meant. Mother's love can't compared to any other love. YOU are telling because of nature of man desire Allah allow it , no.Allah said every one to lower their gaze. If a man can do justice , can support equally then only he can marry multiple wives. If man can't control their desire ,if he marry 10 even he won't be satisfied. What you are saying is just like women are satisfying thing of man . ALLAH allowed marrying 4 not for their desire. Prophet Muhammad( saw) daughter Fathima ra even didn't like Ali ra her husband taking second wife. Why did she stop because she don't like. Wife can stop this if she don't like. Man can only marry if he can effort.
@@aladdin_aljaylani man want multiple wives. Woman only permissible one. Men don't Like his wife loving nother one but women can't thing the same. This is women nature she don't like her husband loving nother women. All have desire men and women even woman have multiple men. Men can take nother if he can effort but first can't be hurt. If first want to stop this she can stipulate in marriage contract.
@@sarashifu6863 Yes I agree with you, a man must be able to financially support any wives he marries. But I disagree that a woman can stop a man from marrying a second wife. Do you think men marry to also satisfy their desires? Obviously a man marries for many reasons, one important one is to have halal intimacy with a woman, to fulfill his desire. There is absolutely nothing wrong or shameful about this fact. Allah (swt) placed this desire in the man and he gave him a halal way to satisfy the desire. Should the man just lower his gaze and stay with one wife and fight the desire if he is capable financially of supporting another? Is it wrong for a good, practicing Muslim man who is capable of financially supporting multiple households to marry a second wife and continue loving and supporting his first wife and their children? I see nothing wrong with this. If you see something that I'm missing please let me know. May Allah (swt) preserve our Muslim families and make them stronger through Imaan and allow them to get rid of false Western influence and ideologies. Ameen.
@@aladdin_aljaylani marry woman you like if you can do justice👈this mention in quran. If first wife mentally suffering because of your marriage it is not fair. Women have right she can choose husband for her if she want a husband who don't like poligym ,she can choose him. Poligym is sunnah. Man agreed not to take second then he should follow. Allah didn't said woman to bear and live .No need to bear this if she don't want she can tell and refused,it's her right that is men's right. That's it.
Where did you get this info from? Can you state the shyookh? Assim Al Hakeem has a completely different take on this and he makes it clear it’s ok to ask for divorce and it’s ok to stipulate it in your marriage contract. He’s quite knowledgeable msA it’s unlikely he just disregarded reputable scholarly opinions
Jazakallah khair shiekh for addressing this issue. Islam came to protect people from injustice and exploitation. Only few scholars speak up on this with clarity and address practical reality of the issue, others all speak only theory
Men talk about sunnah, start with your fard also Muslim brothers ignore the sunnah of fasting on Monday and Thursday, they ignore the sunnah of praying 2 rakats before fair, they forget that Tahajjad is a sunnah. The only sunnah brothers remember is polygamy.
Keep dreaming brothers, women these days don't need to be a 2nd wife and marry a married man.... aint gonna happen brothers, exceptions in very rare circumstances... women these days dont need to reply on men....
You take about sunnah, start with your fard also Muslim brothers ignore the sunnah of fasting on mondays and Thursdays, they ignore the sunnah of praying 2 Rakats before fair, they forget that Tahajjud is a sunnah. The only sunnah they remember is to marry 4 wives... as Muslims we must fear Allah swt and not change the deen to suit our needs, unless we want Allah punishment to come upon us, two or three or four. But if you fear that you will not be just, then one [marry only] from Quran... And you will never be able to be equal just between wives, even if you should strive [to do so]. From quran from Quran... Allah said Verily, Allah orders justice and good conduct and giving to relatives and he forbids immorality and bad conduct and transgression. He admonishes you that perhaps you will be reminded. Surat An-Nahl 16:90 And Allah says O you who believe, be persistently standing firm for Allah as witnesses in justice, and do not let the hatred of a people prevent you from being just. Be just, for that is nearer to righteousness. Fear Allah, for Allah is aware of what you do. Surat Al-Ma’idah 5:8 “A man who has two wives and who is completely inclined to one and who ignores the other emerges with one side of his body paralysed in the Day of Judgment.” (Hadith; Ibn Majah, Nikah, 47; Mishkat al-masabih, 2/196) A woman does not consent to share her husband with another woman under normal circumstances, and no woman would like to marry a married man unless she has to. It is a necessity of belief that polygamy is right. However, to believe it does not necessarily mean for a woman to consent to the second wife and approve it. No believer father would like his son-in-law to marry a second, third or fourth woman along with his daughter. The jealous nature of the woman and the affection of the father for his daughter disapproves this. As a matter of fact, the daughter of our beloved Prophet, Sayyidah Fatima, objected to her husband, Ali’s marrying of a second woman. If it weren’t permissible to object, Sayyidah Fatima, who was brought up by our Prophet, would not have objected. The Messenger of Allah would have warned her and ordered her to consent to her husband’s wish. However, it did not take place like that. On the contrary, the Messenger of Allah, who saw that his daughter was worried, asked Ali to give up his wish and told him that if he did not give it up, he could marry another woman after divorcing Sayyidah Fatima. He did not consent to Ali’s second marriage to depress his daughter. By considering that act of the Messenger of Allah, it can be stated that Muslim daughters and fathers may object to the second marriage of their husband or son-in-law.
Allhumdillah I divorce my husband because of polygamy marriages. I don't understand why men do polygamy marriages when they don't respect Allah SWT Frist, men don't do Salah, read Quran, fasting, tahajjad at night, these men don't even care about their own children, wives at home and his looking for wife number 5 outside. No respect for other people's mother's sisters and daughters nomore! No respect
Its not a threat when a woman doesnt want to have poly.its not her fearing she cannot be truthful to Allah.it doesnt mean she is afraid of sinnig,it just meant she doesnt want to have poly.its a normal thing.stop putting words in womens mouth and making them feel guilty when they dont was a poly by saying ”its bc she fears on sinning/not being able to be a great muslimah” .That’s guilt tripping women who dont want it.Even the pious ones.we are allowed to dislike it,nothing haram or sinning about it istaghfaullah.
Unless the husband doesn't fulfill her rights nor does what he Is Instructed to provide as a husband, I am certain that she cannot leave the marriage just because of an act that Is made permissible.
Character continues to improve until the day we die. It especially improves during marriage, hence why marriage is half our Deen. Men should rather be looking to take 2nd, 3rd and 4th wives from war torn areas like Palestine, should they have the capacity to do so. This gives women there financial stability and provides a means of Barakah to spread into the home of the husband, reaching his first wife and children. May Allah provide our widows husbands Amin.
Prophet wanted to put a stop to all cruelties to women. He preached kindness towards them. He told the Muslims: "Fear Allah in respect of women." And: "The best of you are they who behave best to their wives." And: "A Muslim must not hate his wife, and if he be displeased with one bad quality in her, let him be pleased with one that is good." And:"The more civil and kind a Muslim is to his wife, the more perfect in faith he is." The Prophet (peace be upon him) was most emphatic in enjoining upon Muslims to be kind to their women when he delivered his famous khutba on the Mount of Mercy at Arafat in the presence of one hundred and twenty-four thousand of his Companions who had gathered there for the Hajj al-Wada (Farewell Pilgrimage). In it he ordered those present, and through them all those Muslims who were to come later, to be respectful and kind towards women. He said: "Fear Allah regarding women. Verily you have married them with the trust of Allah, and made their bodies lawful with the word of Allah. You have got (rights) over them, and they have got (rights) over you in respect of their food and clothing according to your means." In Islam a woman is a completely independent personality. She can make any contract or bequest in her own name. She is entitled to inherit in her position as mother, as wife, as sister and as daughter. She has perfect liberty to choose her husband. The pagan society of pre-Islamic Arabia had an irrational prejudice against their female children whom they used to bury alive. The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) was totally opposed to this practice. He showed them that supporting their female Islam raised the status of women, and made them equal with men in most rulings. So women, like men, are commanded to believe in Allah and to worship Him. And women are made equal to men in terms of reward in the Hereafter. Women have the right to express themselves, to give sincere advice, to enjoin what is good and forbid what is evil, and to call people to Allah. Women have the right to own property, to buy and sell, to inherit, to give charity and to give gifts. It is not permissible for anyone to take a woman’s wealth without her consent. For more about the rights of women in Islam, see the detailed answer.Islam showed full respect to the women and ensured rights, dignity and honour and equal status of men and women in case of marriage because for being a valid marriage acquiescence of the bride groom as well as bride is mandatory. In this regard no one is superior.The Quran explicitly states that men and women are equal in the eyes of God. Furthermore, the Quran: forbids female infanticide (practiced in pre-Islamic Arabia and other parts of the world) instructs Muslims to educate daughters as well as sons.
or imagine your daughter is in her late 30s and still unmarried and has fallen/or is at risk for falling into zina.... would you prefer she continues falling/risking falling into zina dating relationships?? or would you prefer a man marry her as his second wife and follow Allah's laws in treating them both justly??
Prophet wanted to put a stop to all cruelties to women. He preached kindness towards them. He told the Muslims: "Fear Allah in respect of women." And: "The best of you are they who behave best to their wives." And: "A Muslim must not hate his wife, and if he be displeased with one bad quality in her, let him be pleased with one that is good." And:"The more civil and kind a Muslim is to his wife, the more perfect in faith he is." The Prophet (peace be upon him) was most emphatic in enjoining upon Muslims to be kind to their women when he delivered his famous khutba on the Mount of Mercy at Arafat in the presence of one hundred and twenty-four thousand of his Companions who had gathered there for the Hajj al-Wada (Farewell Pilgrimage). In it he ordered those present, and through them all those Muslims who were to come later, to be respectful and kind towards women. He said: "Fear Allah regarding women. Verily you have married them with the trust of Allah, and made their bodies lawful with the word of Allah. You have got (rights) over them, and they have got (rights) over you in respect of their food and clothing according to your means." In Islam a woman is a completely independent personality. She can make any contract or bequest in her own name. She is entitled to inherit in her position as mother, as wife, as sister and as daughter. She has perfect liberty to choose her husband. The pagan society of pre-Islamic Arabia had an irrational prejudice against their female children whom they used to bury alive. The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) was totally opposed to this practice. He showed them that supporting their female Islam raised the status of women, and made them equal with men in most rulings. So women, like men, are commanded to believe in Allah and to worship Him. And women are made equal to men in terms of reward in the Hereafter. Women have the right to express themselves, to give sincere advice, to enjoin what is good and forbid what is evil, and to call people to Allah. Women have the right to own property, to buy and sell, to inherit, to give charity and to give gifts. It is not permissible for anyone to take a woman’s wealth without her consent. For more about the rights of women in Islam, see the detailed answer.Islam showed full respect to the women and ensured rights, dignity and honour and equal status of men and women in case of marriage because for being a valid marriage acquiescence of the bride groom as well as bride is mandatory. In this regard no one is superior.The Quran explicitly states that men and women are equal in the eyes of God. Furthermore, the Quran: forbids female infanticide (practiced in pre-Islamic Arabia and other parts of the world) instructs Muslims to educate daughters as well as sons.
Yes she can as a right given by his. She can put it in her nikkah contract too … if he wants more then one wife then he should make that clear before the first nikkah
This is a really good video Alhamdulillah. I think the scholar was very level-headed and down-to-earth in his explanation of the matter. Made me very happy after watching this video and listening to what he said.
Prophet wanted to put a stop to all cruelties to women. He preached kindness towards them. He told the Muslims: "Fear Allah in respect of women." And: "The best of you are they who behave best to their wives." And: "A Muslim must not hate his wife, and if he be displeased with one bad quality in her, let him be pleased with one that is good." And:"The more civil and kind a Muslim is to his wife, the more perfect in faith he is." The Prophet (peace be upon him) was most emphatic in enjoining upon Muslims to be kind to their women when he delivered his famous khutba on the Mount of Mercy at Arafat in the presence of one hundred and twenty-four thousand of his Companions who had gathered there for the Hajj al-Wada (Farewell Pilgrimage). In it he ordered those present, and through them all those Muslims who were to come later, to be respectful and kind towards women. He said: "Fear Allah regarding women. Verily you have married them with the trust of Allah, and made their bodies lawful with the word of Allah. You have got (rights) over them, and they have got (rights) over you in respect of their food and clothing according to your means." In Islam a woman is a completely independent personality. She can make any contract or bequest in her own name. She is entitled to inherit in her position as mother, as wife, as sister and as daughter. She has perfect liberty to choose her husband. The pagan society of pre-Islamic Arabia had an irrational prejudice against their female children whom they used to bury alive. The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) was totally opposed to this practice. He showed them that supporting their female Islam raised the status of women, and made them equal with men in most rulings. So women, like men, are commanded to believe in Allah and to worship Him. And women are made equal to men in terms of reward in the Hereafter. Women have the right to express themselves, to give sincere advice, to enjoin what is good and forbid what is evil, and to call people to Allah. Women have the right to own property, to buy and sell, to inherit, to give charity and to give gifts. It is not permissible for anyone to take a woman’s wealth without her consent. For more about the rights of women in Islam, see the detailed answer.Islam showed full respect to the women and ensured rights, dignity and honour and equal status of men and women in case of marriage because for being a valid marriage acquiescence of the bride groom as well as bride is mandatory. In this regard no one is superior.The Quran explicitly states that men and women are equal in the eyes of God. Furthermore, the Quran: forbids female infanticide (practiced in pre-Islamic Arabia and other parts of the world) instructs Muslims to educate daughters as well as sons.
whenever i ask, he will give vague answers like if ALLAH permits it. or just trust ALLAH. it is so frustrating trying to ask what his goals are, or maybe he doesn't have a goal. just trying to survive like most humans do.
@@Amynity Surviving like most people do is planning. People don't plan to fail, they fail to plan. Discussing with your future partner choices for life is a very serious and necessary endeavor that will strengthen a marriage. God bless you sister.
listen, a wife can not stop her husband from a second marriage but she doesnt have to stay in the marriage either, it is her right to choose to stay or not once there is a potential second wife, now if she stays and is patient then she is rewarded but she doesnt have to. also she can not threaten her husband with their kids if he chooses to marry another woman. and Allahu aalam
@@bradjekarso2006 Not being able to fulfill rights because of his marriage to a second wife is a valid reason. Allah doesn't grant rights to just men you know. Also not loving a man and not being able to fulfil rights is also a valid reason. This is proven by the hadith the sheikh quoted. Trust me, any decent man who has no interest in a woman who doesn't love him or want him, would be only too happy to be rid of her. It is indecent men who are vengeful and petty would try to hold on to a woman who doesn't want him and he doesn't want.
Then all a polygamous man have to do is Keep marrying If the former wives stay for supporting kids, its upto them to suffer If they don't, well good for him, he can live with his new wives.
This man in the video is very biased, to be frank. Muhammad ﷺ also married only Khadijah ra. until her last day. Only her. She was divirced (twice) und also much older than Muhammad ﷺ. And he ﷺ still loved her so much, even after her death. Nobody remembers this Sunnah. And this kind of love. I have the feeling that people nowadays don’t know what love is or relationship between husband and wife actually means anymore. Nobody wants to take their rights away, audhubillah. Nobody dares to do that. But is one woman not enough? Is this kind of love nonexistent? Subhanallah. Muhammad ﷺ never married many women because of lust or something like that - but because because of Islamic, political and social reason. He ﷺ could’ve been married to the most beautiful young woman who is also a virgin who was alive at his age of 25, but he ﷺ did not. He ﷺ got married to multiple women when he ﷺ got much older and he did so for the reasons that I’ve already mentioned.
Well I think women should divorce there husband straight away if they want a second wife no pointing wasting your life for such a men go live your life n be happy
@@ldrago6031 Really depends on the context but in most cases this is unjust. Yet, I do not understand your comparison as polygyny is arguably rewardable and increasing the mahr greatly is in opposition to the Sunnah. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The best of marriage is that which is made easiest.” Narrated by Ibn Hibbaan, classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 3300. And he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The best of mahrs is the simplest (or most affordable).” Narrated by al-Haakim and al-Bayhaqi, classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 3279. Ibn Maajah (1887) narrated that ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab said: “Do not go to extremes with regard to the dowries of women, for if that were a sign of honour and dignity in this world or a sign of piety before Allaah, then Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) would have done that before you. But he did not give any of his wives, and none of his daughters were given, more than twelve uqiyah. A man may increase the dowry until he feels resentment against her and says, ‘You cost me everything I own, and caused me a great deal of hardship’.” Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Ibn Maajah, 1532.
@@ldrago6031 I am pleased to see different sides of the argument. May Allāh increase us in knowledge. However my original point stands. Why did the commenter feel the need to say 'wasting your life with such a men', antagonising the a man who partakes in polygyny.
Question: what about the men, who don't do other sunnah like fasts sunnah mondays and thursdays, making tahajjuds etc. Even don't do Fard salah and making haram, does he have any rights to marry a second wife? Barakallahu feekum wa rahmatullah wa barakatu
The rights is still there, but what in universe Muslimah want accept married by Muslim men that dont do salah? He should never get pious woman. Also, the wife has rights to divorced if the Husband don't do salah. It is also strong reason by religion law. Why still obey fasik men (that dont do salah)? Even if the polygyny never happened. We should work by the rights and responsibilities of every party based on Islamic law, and not interferring others rights...
if he doesnt pray fard salah then he is not a muslim, there is a consensus among the sahaba that if a muslim leaves one fard prayer he has left islam and therefore any marriage with him is nullfied and void and having sexual relations with him would be fornication, divorce would be obligatory upon the woman, she would have to inform her husband about this, if he accepts the advice and starts praying, alhamdulilah he can have 4 wives if he wants, if doesnt, then the wife must leave him
Often people forget the second woman who comes into the marriage, once the man realizes the stress and problems that crop up after he takes a second wife he cannot withstand it and promptly finds a fault in the second woman and divorces her. The woman who agrees to be a second wife is abandoned and kicked to the curb in a lot of cases.
@@TheOrganics01 yes, despite conditions when a man buckles under first family pressure the second lady suffers.. she gets sacrificed especially if a mistake was to happen on her part men find it extremely difficult to resist and withstand such emotional pressure. Except the rare few who Allah has bestowed his mercy upon.. and this affair is very much dependent on taqwa of Allah too.
@@hafsa1698 yes which is why this matter of justice is very serious in the eyes of Allah. Shaytaan does not leave a couple, then think of a man that has two. Except whom Allah bestows the taufiq upon.. intention and ability is paramount, it is a matter of great responsibility.
That is why in the Quran Allah says it is better to have one wife because it is very hard to do justice between the two. A man has to be equal and fulfill both their emotinal and physical and other needs but this is almost impossible
as Muslims we must fear Allah swt and not change the deen to suit our needs, unless we want Allah punishment to come upon us, two or three or four. But if you fear that you will not be just, then one [marry only] from Quran... And you will never be able to be equal just between wives, even if you should strive [to do so]. From quran from Quran... Allah said Verily, Allah orders justice and good conduct and giving to relatives and he forbids immorality and bad conduct and transgression. He admonishes you that perhaps you will be reminded. Surat An-Nahl 16:90 And Allah says O you who believe, be persistently standing firm for Allah as witnesses in justice, and do not let the hatred of a people prevent you from being just. Be just, for that is nearer to righteousness. Fear Allah, for Allah is aware of what you do. Surat Al-Ma’idah 5:8 “A man who has two wives and who is completely inclined to one and who ignores the other emerges with one side of his body paralysed in the Day of Judgment.” (Hadith; Ibn Majah, Nikah, 47; Mishkat al-masabih, 2/196) A woman does not consent to share her husband with another woman under normal circumstances, and no woman would like to marry a married man unless she has to. It is a necessity of belief that polygamy is right. However, to believe it does not necessarily mean for a woman to consent to the second wife and approve it. No believer father would like his son-in-law to marry a second, third or fourth woman along with his daughter. The jealous nature of the woman and the affection of the father for his daughter disapproves this. As a matter of fact, the daughter of our beloved Prophet, Sayyidah Fatima, objected to her husband, Ali’s marrying of a second woman. If it weren’t permissible to object, Sayyidah Fatima, who was brought up by our Prophet, would not have objected. The Messenger of Allah would have warned her and ordered her to consent to her husband’s wish. However, it did not take place like that. On the contrary, the Messenger of Allah, who saw that his daughter was worried, asked Ali to give up his wish and told him that if he did not give it up, he could marry another woman after divorcing Sayyidah Fatima. He did not consent to Ali’s second marriage to depress his daughter. By considering that act of the Messenger of Allah, it can be stated that Muslim daughters and fathers may object to the second marriage of their husband or son-in-law.
Never ever believe these Muslim brothers because they lie. I still get single men asking me for marriage and I wouldn't marry another sisters husband because shes going to get hurt in her heart. I wouldn't hurt or upset a sister for a husband!
@@JahannamHellfire Keep hadith a side and talk from Quran. Quran is the criteria which Allah will put on the table to judge on the final day. He will not put books of sahih Bukhari and etc.... The references you posted from Quran are correct but you need to put at verses at right context. The ref which says you can't justify between wives is pointing to the person who is already married with more than a wife. Allah is consoling men that you can't satisfy them equally but then Allah suggests don't be that much inclined to one wife and leave other hanging a side and try every effort and you will be rewarded for it. Balancing two wives equally is not possible because one is pregnant then you might spend more time with her and less with other but every day is not same. The other wife should understand this despite of jealousy. Tomorrow husband may spend more time with second wife when she needs him more due to sickness or health reasons. So overall Allah says you can't satisfy both equally so it doesn't mean you stop polygamy when Allah has given enought money and knowledge of the deen. If both men and women are following the Quranic commands and leading life then polygamy is easy. But if they are following as per desires then it is not possible for them..
Ladies..just love Allah alone and be kind to everyone else.Nothing belongs to us....Nothing..not our parents kids,siblings, partners etc.Everything in this world is a test Alghamdullilah
I come from monogamous society....i will stipulate this condition inshallah for my own security...in my society men at time of marriage demads dowry from bride father ...couldnot even pray 5 times a day so how could women bear a co wife....if i love my husband so much and if he takes another wife and if i have to remain with him i will definetely loses loving him..i can not be able to pass smile when he sees me, when he demands intamcy i will be just a body for him because i can not ignore that he has another wife...i will do my duties but not loving him and maybe after sometime i start hating him....because i can provide for my self so i do not need gifts or money from him that can console me
I'm OK with it as long as the man fears Allah and he tries his best to do justice between the wives. The problem is brothers abuse it. May Allah protect us. I love Allah more than any man and I would never disobey Allah just to keep some guy to myself. Allah comes first.
it is not the role of islam to protect your fragile ego, lol nor is it the role of the husband. if you cant accept polygamy , then you are not a muslim. you can either be a feminist or a muslim, dont embarrass your trying to mix the 2 ideologies. lol
If we read tafsir of aayat 3 surah nisa, Allah prohibiting the selfish men to marry orphan girl and giving them advice to marry girl of your choice whether two or three or four only if you are just among them or marry slave girl (without Meher) ( as they don't want to give Meher) or contained with one. It's Highly demotivating not to practise polygamy. Polygamy is highly discouraged in Islam just like slavery, you're allowed to have slaves but not encouraged. As it's mentioned in Hadith prophet ordered men who have multiples wives like 10 give talaq to 6 and have one but they disliked so prophet told them max you can have four by doing justice only. Sheikh here are all promoting Arab Culture not Islam.
God create men. And when God saw Adam sad and lonley, he create the woman from his ribs. ONE woman he gave him. God did Not create 4 woman for the men. God give Adam ONE woman. Men has taken the so call "right" to marriage 4 wifes. It is not God who give that right. Men had put that right on woman. It s Not fear, it is impossible! Share the same men sexually, economically, attention , love.. it's NOT easy. I admire those woman who does it. They are Brave!
Respected sister with all due respect, what you're speaking in no way shape or form does it sound islamic, no man has the right to make things permissible or impersmissible by himself, Allah himself made it permissible for a man to marry either 1,2,3 or 4 wives, cus it's mentioned in the Quran, and there's not a single thing that can be mentioned in the which Allah hasn't allowed, in fact it is Allah who has allowed it, and concerning the part that it's hard so yea that's there, but at the same time it's not haram for a man to do so, hope that answers the question
Sister, the Islamic law isn't based upon what country we live in, tho i understand it's hard for a person who wants to have more than one wife, can't do it in christian countries, but the I'm trying to make is, that's not what we look at, we obey the rules of the land but we do not compromise our religion in any way shape or form, nor do we consider Polygny to be disgraceful as christians believe, but what a person can rather do is move to a muslim country where he is allowed to marry more than one wife, & Allah knows best
"It is not God who give that right." Fear الله and refrain from speaking without knowledge. It is mentioned in the Qur'an itself. [[If you fear that you will not do justice to the orphans, then, marry the women you like, in twos, in threes and in fours. But, if you fear that you will not maintain equity, then (keep to) one woman, or bondwomen you own. It will be closer to abstaining from injustice.]] (4:3)
astagfirullah al azeem you are saying that the rule of marrying max 4 women came from men, not from Allah. audhibillah. this statement can be a statement of kufr
Prophet wanted to put a stop to all cruelties to women. He preached kindness towards them. He told the Muslims: "Fear Allah in respect of women." And: "The best of you are they who behave best to their wives." And: "A Muslim must not hate his wife, and if he be displeased with one bad quality in her, let him be pleased with one that is good." And:"The more civil and kind a Muslim is to his wife, the more perfect in faith he is." The Prophet (peace be upon him) was most emphatic in enjoining upon Muslims to be kind to their women when he delivered his famous khutba on the Mount of Mercy at Arafat in the presence of one hundred and twenty-four thousand of his Companions who had gathered there for the Hajj al-Wada (Farewell Pilgrimage). In it he ordered those present, and through them all those Muslims who were to come later, to be respectful and kind towards women. He said: "Fear Allah regarding women. Verily you have married them with the trust of Allah, and made their bodies lawful with the word of Allah. You have got (rights) over them, and they have got (rights) over you in respect of their food and clothing according to your means." In Islam a woman is a completely independent personality. She can make any contract or bequest in her own name. She is entitled to inherit in her position as mother, as wife, as sister and as daughter. She has perfect liberty to choose her husband. The pagan society of pre-Islamic Arabia had an irrational prejudice against their female children whom they used to bury alive. The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) was totally opposed to this practice. He showed them that supporting their female Islam raised the status of women, and made them equal with men in most rulings. So women, like men, are commanded to believe in Allah and to worship Him. And women are made equal to men in terms of reward in the Hereafter. Women have the right to express themselves, to give sincere advice, to enjoin what is good and forbid what is evil, and to call people to Allah. Women have the right to own property, to buy and sell, to inherit, to give charity and to give gifts. It is not permissible for anyone to take a woman’s wealth without her consent. For more about the rights of women in Islam, see the detailed answer.Islam showed full respect to the women and ensured rights, dignity and honour and equal status of men and women in case of marriage because for being a valid marriage acquiescence of the bride groom as well as bride is mandatory. In this regard no one is superior.The Quran explicitly states that men and women are equal in the eyes of God. Furthermore, the Quran: forbids female infanticide (practiced in pre-Islamic Arabia and other parts of the world) instructs Muslims to educate daughters as well as sons.
Alhamdulillah for the right given to women to mention it in their marriage contract ❤❤❤ now that’s just, this shows Allah gave the right of choice to women to stay or not stay with a man who wants more wives.
Marrying 4 wives is man right. Men never bother his first wife will be suffer from this , he did it because his desire and call it his right. When married women see other men that's call sin but men get love and marry it's his right. While putting some one in pain giving life for other one won't be fair. Your doing it only for your desire by using islam .
Simple really... the men who have loads of money and are generally kind of arrogant will marry many times regardless of any impact on women or kids... so women please stop looking at money and marry a guy with a good character and good heart. I can honestly tell you there are more good men in this world than good women. I'm saying this as a woman. If you can be your husband's best friend and you chose him for companionship over money these matters won't even come anywhere near you. Not only does my husband have respect for me but also whatever he makes he gives me and he trusts me. I don't splash out money on makeup or waste it on expensive clothes. I don't disrespect him and we can laugh and joke. I honestly love him so much that if I couldn't fulfill his needs I would actually wish for him to have another wife and I would never want him to feel sad or upset. I honestly don't think I know many couples around me who even care about each other. Women place this comment of you can't get a second wife yet I ask as his wife what level is your relationship on? Ppl are in relationships just because they have to be, it's like the women just felt she was getting a bit old so she just got married or the guy feels like his mum wanted him to marry so he just married. These marriages are based on what if I could have married someone better. This is shaytaans way of making problems. In all honesty the men who I know of who have second wife's have a certain character- they are not close to any woman. They tend to lie easily or be very secretive. Or they are loaded with money and have very little respect for even their own parents. They tend to be distanced from their kids. Or they tend to be looking for something missing like wanting a baby boy and first wife only had all girls. Sadly these guys are deep down broken... I'm sure there are guys out there with 2 wives who they love both exactly equally and are able to divide their time and money and companionship with both exactly equally. Please let us know if you are that guy because I haven't ever met known such a guy.
Some men need to lower there gaze even more! Stop watching filth stop going to free mix gyms, stop with the second wife threats Stop getting the wife pregnant cuz your selfish not to use protection! This nonsense is getting out of hand you can not handle the first wife and give her Islamic rights so you want to Marry again to a barren or virgin women?!
I really can't be able to manage mentally because I work so hard for our marriage. Plus th3 fact that some time their put us so much down but we keep trying to be pleasing to our husband.
for me as a woman or as a first wife I will never leave my husband though Even if he marries another woman again Because the important thing is that your husband will not leave you even if he has another wife it is better for the man of four women to marry than for him to marry someone else and then leave you So my only advice to muslimahs around the world You must understand that polygamy is a sunnah As long as it is able to equalize the rights of wives there is no issue there You are muslimah right?So you should already know that it is sunnah
Sunnah is not a fard, and what if the man cause injustice, if the first woman is depressed it is injustice. Especially in this time and in some cultures some woman don’t accept it but another accept. You can’t judge what someone wants only God knows how it will make us feel. If it will cause psychological harm to the woman she can leave, a man can’t own us, if we are not happy we can leave.
@@cel974 If a man is able to treat all of his wives just, then there is no issue in polygamy. Sure not all men can do this, but you are saying it as if all men cannot treat their wives just and men are inherently unjust. As for divorcing, divorcing is allowed for women but divorce is only allowed for valid reasons, "not being happy" is very ambiguous and vague, the reason for divorce may need to be clearer than that! For example a woman may not be happy in a marriage because she is seeing someone else, is that a valid reason for divorce because she wants to cheat on her husband? So yes please speak with knowledge and be wary of what you say. Divorcing is a very serious thing and it shouldn't be taken lightly The prophet salallahu 'alaihi wasallam said: "If a woman asks her husband for a divorce, for no reason, then the smell of Paradise is forbidden for her". (At-Tirmidhi narrated it. He said this is a hasan hadith. Sunan At-Tirmidhi, 1187.)
@@idkbro4932many woman can't accept polygamy even their husband gave them 1 tons of gold and 1000 of maids, you can't blame them. You can't force them to accept it. It's easy to say because you are the man.
This is the most interesting discussion. Reminds me of Galileo. He was quarantined when he said that earth moves around the word. That is religion for you? Quran has it's rule and Bible has it's own.
This is adultery. God at the time of creation created one man and one woman. In the old testament we see that king David, Solomon and others who had many wives, asked for Gods forgiveness. Marriage is a promise of love, loyalty and respect for one another, and a covenant with God that 2 become one. Anything else is not of God.
What if you go into a marriage knowing if he ever does get a second wife you can’t fulfil his rights rather than waiting for it to happen and then getting a divorce
@@abxnam737 I'm pretty sure the sheikh here said it's fine for a women to do it. Whether a man wants to marry a women who stipulates it in the marriage contract is a different story and depends on the man. Most muslim men only marry one wife so it shouldn't be a problem. Watch from around 6:30 in the video and he talks about it.
@@Aa-dc2xu while we are allowed to make stipulations to not be involved with polygamy, I would be careful with that wording... it can become sinful for us. We cannot make something haram that is halal. If he is capable, Allah allows him to have more than one wife.. so we can never "disallow" him. All we can do is stipulate that we don't want a polygamous marriage. If he agrees and signs on that, it becomes a major sin for him and the marriage would be dissolved if he breaks that clause. Allah knows best.
To those men who want to practice polygamy because they are super men thinking about those many women nowdays who have no husband.(most of those who bring this issue is trying to convince us..that he is doing that because he is a superman helping the women in need...without him wanting that for his sexual reasons) You can go ahead and marry 4 women...that is your right...because one woman is not enough for you, while thinking it is not my right to say that having a husband for 91 days a year is not enough for me??? By the way...many women feel off having a sexual relationship with their husbands while knowing that he does with other women...or finding his romance with her meaningful while she knows he had the same senario with his other wife. So dont assume that any woman who doesnt have a husband is needy...and she prefers dealing with the matter I mentioned above...sacrificing her mental and emotional health to have you as a man in her life
I get why men would want second wives. But what I don’t get is why do some women want to become second wives, when there are many single men. Why be apart of a marriage, knowing you most likely will cause pain, heartbreak and emotional distress to another women (and possibly her kids), and potentially to them too.
many single men would prefer to marry younger women, with no childen, unmarried etc. What about all the older women who are divorved with children, or widowed... What do we do with them? Should they just die single even though they also have desires which Allah created them with? Polygamy benefits the Ummah at large, as men whom Allah has bestowed wealth and the ability could take care of these women, by marrying them as an additional wife
What if her husband is married in Islam faith but I'm not know to his wife or family and does not bother with his child she has to pay for everything what do I do
What if he was looking to marry a second wife who is already married, whilst planning to divorce the first wife for no real reason, all whilst being unable to financially support the first wife 🤔
marrying a woman who is already married? unable to finanically support the first wife? if he cant support his first wife then she has the right to divorce him, and he cant marry a woman who is already married lol
Polygamy at the time of the prophet was a major part of their culture not only in Arab but also in other parts of the world. But polygamy today is way too different and difficult to accept for any woman or society. Allah allowed polygamy for the welfare of the widow. But now people gas just sexualized this concept. Nouman Ali khan has explained polygamy in the following video, just a bit- th-cam.com/video/v7YBhhQPdbo/w-d-xo.html Men can never imagine how difficult it is for a woman to see his husband taking a second wife. It can cause her heart to bleed out of pain but they just care about their selves. It is better that a woman put this condition in the marriage contract and discuss it before marriage to avoid any problems after marriage.
This is very interesting and i have to admit unfortunately a lot of my sisters who dont want their husbands to gave a second wife (which is their right) dont fully appreciate the situation and often tines go out of their way to cause conflict and get their husband to divorce or relinquish any rights to second wife. Sadly i think its usually the second wife that suffers the most because she never gets to experience a family life because of all the stress from the first wife. And is left to run her household as a single parent the very thing she was trying to escape 😢 Please dear sisters, our sisters have many reasons to be a second wife dont feel they are trying to take your place or wrecking your marriage. They are simply looking for a solution within the parameter of Islam. Lets stop and think, ratio of men to women. Dont be a readon for fitna in this life, there is plenty already. Help our sisters to feel a part of the community and respected as a wife by allowing your husbands to remarry should he wish to.
Yes sister it's not easy think to become second wife and as a first wife, it's a disaster. 90% women doesn't like it. I want to tell women who is ready to become second wife but they don't want to support a man or become his wife who's wife already has past away or a divorci man and man who got children and want a woman to support his children and him. I saw some men they are struggling to live alone without wife and wothiut their children's mother. Woman are ready to become co wife but don't want to support a man who is living without his spouse. I am not saying all women they are like that.
Wanna ask u one thing that if a man marries another woman when he is already married bt the 1st wife is unwilling to accept or not 100% sure that she can be happy seeing them together and even afraid that she can do harm to the 2nd wife ,in that situation what that 1st wife should do?? Some people say 1st wife have to accept the husband 2nd,3rd or 4th wife even if she is unwilling bt the quran says " the best of u are those who are best to their women ". So how can the person be best if he hurts his wife's feelings. Moreover Islam gives women the highest respect and rights compare to any other religion. So tell me that if a women's husband marry another woman and she can't accept that and file for a divorce can she get a divorce 🤔. Bcz I saw in a drama that husband 2nd marriage can't be the reason of a divorce. In that circumstances what can the women do?? If she gets too much suffocated or get jealous by seeing her husband with another woman and also she can 't divorce him she can do suicide or murder the another women🙂. Bcz she can't do anything . So is it her fault that she did murder or suicide ?? She was helpless what she could have done. And the last thing if a women is too much need of her husband bt the day was for the 2nd wife . So in that situation what should the husband do??
@@ldrago6031 lmao I can also write many conditions in marriage, tht if she shouts one time at me, it is annulled. A simple allowance in the religion does not nessitate it being pushed for EVERYONE to do it, like the liberal simp imams are doing. Polygamous marriages are a sunnah of the prophet. You will be a second wife for eternity in jannah anyways. I thank Allah that He made Houris so I can have as many as I want for pleasing Him. The only one who understands men is our Lord Allah which is why he put polygamy for us and gave us houris in paradise. I thank my Rabb that I guard my chastity for His Sake, as women never try to rationalize polygamy through a man's perspective. Men scientifically have more libido then women, that is why even in the west the richest of men have multiple partners/mistresses.(where monogamy is centralized as the norm)And is good for women as well. Polygamy gives financial security for single women in poorer situations to escape poverty so they are not led to prostitiution. Around 2 million to 4million women are divorced or widowed in Iraq and there is an article on muslim skepetic about thius. They also have some other excellent material on the subject of polygamy. [Warning: I do not agree with everything on the website, ESPECiALLY with some of the khwariji beliefs being propogated by the authors. But they do have good info on liberalism. I do advise not to listen to the authors on islamic matters of aqeedah, but they have good articles on liberalism and feminism(also by female authors)
Polygamy is a must. I don't see scholar condemning feminism a totally corrupt ideology but I see them trying awkawdly to justify women's reaction. Polygamy is there because Allah decided so. No onr knows better than the one who created. I say if you are a man marry a second wife without thinking. The untold secret is it will revive your first marriage as well. It's biological
PoLyGaMy iS a mUsT. Clown alright. PoLyGaMy is only allowed when you have funds, can take care of two women EMOTIONALLY and FINANCIALLY. If you think feminism is corrupt then I guess you're as much corrupt cos what's the difference with feminism hookup culture and you marrying a second/third or thousand without any reason
I am bit disturbed that the right mentioned is only the one of the husband. Why isn't it called the wife's ? A relationship can only work if both give into it equally.
This issue is truly tearing me apart. I am trying to get closer to Allah, butas I learn about some of these demands/expectations of men, I get so angry! How can my feelings as a women be so simply dismissed to appease to the lust of a man ?! Something isnt adding up, we went from the deen of Allah, to the deen of MAN.
Miswar b. Makhramali reported that he heard Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) say, as he sat on the pulpit: "The sons of Hisham b. Mughira have asked my permission to marry their daughter with 'Ali b. Abi Talib (that refers to the daughter of Abu Jahl for whom 'All had sent a proposal for marriage). But I would not allow them, I would not allow them, I would not allow them (and the only alternative possible is) that 'Ali should divorce my daughter (and then marry their daughter), for my daughter is part of me. He who disturbs her in fact disturbs me and he who offends her offends me." -Sahih Muslim 2449a
Yeah but you want your cake and eat it. It doesn't work like that. Just keep marrying divorced women you can't marry young fresh women and expect that she accepts you to marry another one
Can we notice 2 points 1. A women should always be self INDEPENDENT and keep earning, if one day husband shows up with a new wife, she can take divorce easily and not live a oppressed sad life, 2. The male female ratio is 1:1 , so if a man is taking 2and wife, someone is deprived of a wife, which is bad. Let all mean have one wife atleast
From my experience a man wants a another women due to wife not making him happy and acts like he don't exist some women put everyone before husband don't support husband emotionally l talking a a righteous man
Happiness must come from inside yourself by being greatful for what you have. Men and women who blame their spouse for their misery will always end up having the same problems with different people cos they don't look at what they r doing to make themselves happy and if they are demanding more than they r giving to their spouse
Some are naive girls and other are manipulated into not writing that. I see divorce in Islam as blessings and I hate how these people make divorce as something like doing shirk or having Zina or other major sins. If halal and accessible to any Muslim who thinks they can benefit from it
She actually doesn't have the right to ask for a divorce if her husband remarries unless she stipulates it in their nikkah. Marrying a second wife who is halal and lawful for you is not grounds for divorce.
Sisters watching, by Allah, if your husband is a good man, a man upon his deen, who is good to you, and who fears Allah, who is a good father, pls don’t make it difficult for him to marry again, this is coming from a man my beloved sisters, if he seems like a man who will abuse his rights, then I understand, but if he is a just man, a man of truth, Wallahi it is better for you to be patient, and your reward is from Allah. JazakuAllah khairan.
Sorry, Allah swt who gave us women rights in Islam, to be happy and free from polygamy oppression. Allah said: you can't be just between wives from Quran, so I divorced my husband because of polygamy marriages and now very happy.
Sub'haanAllaah. I'm reading the comments and I'm very disappointed at the state of most of our sisters. What happened to hearing and obeying as soon as ALLAAHU sub'haanahu wa ta'ala legislates something?! All this back and forth arguing and fighting over something Allaah has made lawful for men. Sub'haanAllaah. Fear Allaah all of you. Who are you to come and object to the legislations of Allaah after He has allowed it?! Fear Allaah and keep your emotions aside. Ultimately what matters is who has attained Allaah's love and is admitted to al-Firdous al-a'laa
Allah has allowed multiple marriages ..no woman disagrees ..and let's not compare men of today to the best and most favoured by Allah. As of now , society is deteriorating and homes are breaking because couples cope with every day life and struggle to meet their required marriage duties. Most married people are usually unhappy due to either partner not being fully committed. Hence the constant divorces and infidelities. Yes men are ALLOWED or GIVEN A CHOICE, but it does not mean he ll go to hell if he stays with his one wife and children. Most women want to build their own nests and it's natural to feel abandoned if her husband has little time for her and wants more wives. Saying its Sunnah or Allah has given permission is correct and very few men can ever have a normal polygamous relationship today. Please regard the safety of women and their families. And there a thousands of older widowed or divorced men who might and can get married and proted divorced and widowed women they should marry..and help protect women
Brother u r short sighted. The world has become dangerous and people don't live in villages anymore. It becomes unsafe to leave a woman alone at home and to leave children without a father's daily discipline and guidance. Many brothers think women get to have a day off when they go to second wife but they don't think of the kids. She still has to cook and clean for the kids and she must also help them with homework while he is enjoying himself.
Marrying is permissible, but match wisely, don't infringe on people who can't stand such arrangements. I personally can't stand that three/foursome lifestyle.
In Islam, Allah makes clear the rights of the men and women, so these matters are important to clarify, afterall we Muslims live according to what Allah has commanded, and that's the only way you can give justice and attain happiness, to abide by the rules Allah has set, not by what humans think is right.
@Statix Fall @Reheema PL I doubt God ever said such things. I don't see any form of higher morality in those rules. These are rules made up to satisfy men's carnal desires. Isn't spirituality about rising above these base desires to become better? What purpose does it serve to have a so-called divine rule that allows for men to have more than 1 wife if not a mere pretext to justify promiscuity and the selfish pleasure of the flesh? How would a man care emotionally for all these women? How can you give your all to several people simultaneous? That's not from God, I am sure of it.
@@delpthepath127 @Dell Beauge This isn't imposed upon us Muslims, a man cannot force a 2nd or 3rd woman to be his wife, it is her choice, so where is the evil in this? As for not being able to give their rights emotionally, Allah says in the Qur'an, in Surah Nisa verse 3, to only marry one if you cannot give the rights of more than one, emotionally and financially, *and the Qur'an is the only religious book that says "marry only one", such a thing isn't mentioned in the bible, book of the jews nor in the Hindu scriptures, which is a fact*. Adultery/ fornication/watching porn etc, all of these are major sins in Islam, which so many fall into, yet they want to pick at this ruling in Islam that gives rights to women with their agreement, helping prevent many of these cases. As for the true Wisdom behind this, Allah knows best, ultimately we are certain that the Qur'an is the speech of God, with there being evidence upon evidence within the Qur'an itself, so just because you don't understand a certain wisdom, it doesn't mean it's not from Allah. Btw in the old testament it is said prophet Solomon had 700 wives and Abraham had 3 wives, same as the new testament saying you should follow the old testament, in other words you can marry as many wives as you want, it was only later on that the church put a restriction saying you can marry one, same with other religions, only after many many years do they put a restriction, in this case this isn't from God but from a human. The scriptures put no restrictions, only the Qur'an does.
@@delpthepath127 m.th-cam.com/video/axOIgrL4M_s/w-d-xo.html --> this video gives a more thorough explanation, hope you take time out to watch it, rather short, lol I'll say ignore what I typed above and just watch the video, saves time.
4:3 وَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ أَلَّا تُقْسِطُوا۟ فِى ٱلْيَتَـٰمَىٰ فَٱنكِحُوا۟ مَا طَابَ لَكُم مِّنَ ٱلنِّسَآءِ مَثْنَىٰ وَثُلَـٰثَ وَرُبَـٰعَ ۖ فَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ أَلَّا تَعْدِلُوا۟ فَوَٰحِدَةً أَوْ مَا مَلَكَتْ أَيْمَـٰنُكُمْ ۚ ذَٰلِكَ أَدْنَىٰٓ أَلَّا تَعُولُوا۟ ٣ If you fear you might fail to give orphan women their ˹due˺ rights ˹if you were to marry them˺, then marry other women of your choice-two, three, or four. But if you are afraid you will fail to maintain justice, then ˹content yourselves with˺ one or those ˹bondwomen˺ in your possession. This way you are less likely to commit injustice. - Dr. Mustafa Khattab, the Clear Quran
Honestly who are these women willing to be a second wife? Why they want a divided man? Why they want to sign up for misery and causing other family misery too
@@Halal_Danwho said so? The problem lies in mens lust. If only they could keep that in check the world would have been a much happier place. Imagine the amount of cheating and ntr that would have vanished
well.. sometimes, i feel quite good with polygamy being said or put as something men can do, cuz from it i can recognize the way this men behave or how their mind work on this topic for myself personally, from their point of view on it, i see how some has a bit care abt someone feeling and some just keep saying its halal and dismiss the feeling that is there directly and doesnt seem to a bit considering in their speech on how the women said, its hurting her (i know its halal and who am i to judge God rules) so i just pinpoint the behavior and the act on some humans. As example, a prophet himself marrying another of his wives after mother Khadija has passed away showed how much he truly love her and we can feel it in his story that makes me think and feel, with the prophet personality, i wouldn't mind him marrying up to 10 tbh, we can feel his pure and sincere intention. This also helps me looking at who is the best of their women as its mentioned, the best of u is the best to their women. Another is, so if u dont even show a bit emotional side on why it hurt women so much rather than telling its halal, so... hurm nvm, yes its halal but its matter of phycological approach which is u showed me, u cared abt my feeling enough to make me think that u actlly qualified to hv more than one wife (example). I also sees this rule abt letting men to hv more wife is as part of a test and its just like telling u, lets see, what will u do if its halal lol (this just my joke haha). Overall, im ok with polygamy and i dont blame other if they dont want it cuz its sunnah, not a must.
Polygamy is a solution to many problems in society. I don't know why we still argue over it. It has been decided by Allah (swt) and His Prophet (saw). Who are we to question them? Anyway, I get why women would not want polygamy. Even the Prophets wives became jealous and at times reacted irrationally. However, these Muslim women were more about the deen and not greed or nafs. That is why they were overall happy with being co-wives. Overall happy does not mean they were absolutely happy with everything. Just overall they were content. Which is natural with anything even in a good stable marriage... you'd be content overall, but little things you may not like. Anyway, I don't understand how the Ulema can think it is okay to write in a contract that a husband cannot take a second wife. This is like saying: Allah wrote in His book that you should choose two's, threes or fours, but I am writing in a marriage contract that you cannot listen to this advice that our Creator has written in the Quran. Wallahi that sounds similar to Kufr. Imagine, giving a free pass and banning people from following parts of the Quran. Madness.
@@ldrago6031 I wish you were right as you are passionate. Bold of you to assume I have no knowledge. Lol! Alhamdulillah thats fine i expect that from the internet. Not only is your Islamic knowedge off. Your English is also a little off the mark because I do not see anywhere where I have done takfir. Lol Anyway, have an amazing day. May Allah guide us all. Ameen
It's not the sheikh. All 4 madhabs agree on it afaik. A person has the right to decide what kind of marriage life they want to have. During umar ra.'s time, women would give conditions regarding not travelling. A woman can put conditions for monthly allowances, job, education and such, even though in normal situation, a guy doesn't have to allow that. Similarly, a man can give the condition that his mother will live with them, that is also allowed even though housing is one of the basic rights of the woman.
@@zara-he3jh Salam, in regards to writing that husband should not take a second wife in nikah contract, that is only valid in the Hanbali madhab. Not in any other madhab.
@@taichoudhury Wa'alaikum assalam. My bad, it's not all madhabs but majority of the scholars. The view of this being not permissible is weak since there is also proof from umar ra. Nevertheless, a woman can still get the power to take divorce, polygamy or not.
If a woman can write in the contract something that strips the man of his rights, granted it's his decision to agree or not, and that this is something Islamically valid, then on that same note, can the man do the same thing to a woman? Let's say he wants to marry a working woman who at the time doesn't realize the benefit of taking her right to be financially provided for by her husband, so her husband to be puts in the contract that he will not be paying for her, and she signs it...this is okay? Please clarify ustadh Tim Humble. JazakAllah khair
Im not sure about other stipulation but I do know that man must provide for the family. It’s an obligation so you can’t stipulate that you won’t provide for her. Because it’s a sin to neglect your wives & not provide. It’s like a wife stipulating that she doesn’t have to obey her husband. However the stipulation may have to be specific in the terms that it’s only valid while she is working as in if she isn’t working the term doesn’t applied. Since the reason men can marry multiple wives, inherit more than women, the leaders of women, don’t have a wali all comes done to being a provider. “Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means” [an-Nisa’ 4:34]
You are comparing a fard (man providing for his wife) to a sunnah that does not need to be followed (multiple wives). If the man stipulates that he will not provide for his wife then essentially there is no point in the marriage. What does the wife gain from being married and providing for herself vs being single and providing for herself? The man doesn’t need more wives but the woman needs the man to provide even if she is working.
Any condition agreed upon before marriage must be fulfilled by the spouses. As far as I know, the husband would not need to provide for her in this case
Thank you for addressing this in a way that's not one sided, as a Muslim woman it's exhausting constantly being made to feel (by religious leaders) like my well being (not just materialistic but mental and spiritual as well) are less important to Allah then man's desire to have more than 1 woman. Again, thank you for not giving a selfish response to this topic/situation. It's halal doesn't mean mandatory or good for everyone.
I absolutely agree with you. In my case ,he is not giving me any rights so when he remarry it's going to worsen,because the younger and second wife is always the favourite.
@@kittybegum8486 he can marry if he wants none of your business
@@carljohnson2194he can't marry without her permission as saw didn't let Ali r.a marry second wife bcos it upsets Fatima so if he doesn't follow Nabi sunnah he is not Muslim
@@goldenxyoon702 no Islam doesn’t require permission from wife Quran allows men to marry 4 wives without first wife’s permission
@@goldenxyoon702 idk why Ali RA didn’t marry second wife when she didn’t want but still islam allows husbands to marry up to 4 wives
Some men forget the first wife's responsibility as soon as they take a second wife, and do injustice. Also effects Children end messed up.
@will de takea second wife and see!
@will de responsibility are all the same 1st 2nd 3rd and for 4th. Treat them equally.
@will de control? Find a better word.
@will de Surah an Nisaa 34.
Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient (to Allah and to their husbands), and guard in the husband's absence what Allah orders them to guard (e.g. their chastity, their husband's property, etc.). As to those women on whose part you see ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (next), refuse to share their beds, (and last) beat them (lightly, if it is useful), but if they return to obedience, seek not against them means (of annoyance). Surely, Allah is Ever Most High, Most Great.
@@ummzaynul370 if you dont like islam, you are free to choose another way. islam doesnt have to please your fragile ego.
In my opinion this matter should be discussed before marriage!
Because there are women who accept to be in a polygamous marriege and there are woman who do not!
Totally agree!
100% agree!
@@mukhtaar2355 as a Muslim U should know that I can put "no other wives" on the marriage contract and I have alll the right to do so if I want. If he agree with it then he has to live upon it. If not he can move on and so can I.
I never said it's Haram but it's not Haram to not want it either.
@Orient Express people loveee hate
What's the problem with you people
If you want two wives go ahead.
But don't try to impose it on others.
@@mukhtaar2355 it’s a halal option but is not mandatory so it’s not a right
People in this comment section Wallahi you are missing the point. Allah will never force a women to bear more than she can handle...mental health issues. Depression and just sadness anger and resentful are all things many women deal with because of polygamy I know a few who left the deen all together. Women now can provide for themselves and if she cant agree to this lifestyle then let the man practice this halal life and she can move on...simple very simple people no need to call names in the comment section it's all about choices
I also know sisters who left Islam with mental illness. Polygamy is only a sunnah not even a fard. The only part of Islam Muslims following is polygamy marriages. No time for Salah, no Qur'an, no fasting ect.
@@bashbash8279 wallahi you are so right...how about asking about our elderly or disabled neighbor...smh or just leaving other people to practice and be muslim minding their own business and work on themselves
@@manalmorsi6527 even drag dealers do polygamy sister, I'm not joking because I know lots of Muslim men. I know this one Muslim man who got second wife and the first wife had no food in the house, no coat for winter ect, he was drinking alcohol, taking cacina and making weed, going night clubs behind the wife's back! No Salah, no Qur'an, no fasting, no tahajjad, no jummah Salah on Fridays. They only following polygamy marriages and so many Muslim men do this because I've seen.
@@bashbash8279 maybe motivated by money because I heard they claim the second wife and any wife after as a family member to get benefits
@@manalmorsi6527 Yes, they do that too. More wives, more children to claim more benefits and more money!
Two of my neighbours are women who are 2nd secret wives of two rich men. Theyre very young and beautiful and the men are old are not that attractive. Old enough to be their fathers. Their first wives are in different countries. The women are often sad. And live alone most of the time. I dont know but from what they tell us neither of the men treats them properly. Thats how many men are these days. They wont even pray will drink alcohol but when it comes to wives they become islamic and say that its a sunnah... they need to be good muslims first.
So true,all the women in polygamous marriage are miserable and i have seen it by myself.Everything else is just sugarcoating,only women who can be happy in poly marriages are those who are there just for money and doesn't expect emotional aspect of the company.
@@namra7957 were prophet's mohammed's wkife miserable?
@@taimurahmadpure arrogance is comparing most modern Muslim men with no morals to our Prophet. If they are able to reach even half of his Sunnah, then by all means let them take 4 wives
How sinful a man is has no bearing on his right to marry up to 4 wives as long as he can fulfill their rights and treat them justly. Fear Allah. Don't put conditions on the laws of Allah out of your feelings and emotions.
@abu.nahiyan no one is saying dont marry 4. Just treat them fairly and not neglect some of them. If you cant do them justice only marry 1. Because if you wrong someone in this life. Itll be against you in the afterlife .
~ The Second Wife ~
A second wife is not a mistress
That you hide under your mattress
She is not a concubine
that her rights is lesser than mine.
She is not your playmate
that you use only in bed
Not a trial course
that you plan to divorce
If the first wife was made in heaven
A second wife was not made from hell
If the first shall be your childrens' mother
The second is not just their babysitter
You protect your first wife like a diamond
And think the other was just another stone
When you wake up and realize you can't afford the two
She has to work and spend on her own.
Remember that to be fair is your duty
With her comes a greater responsibility
Think carefully before your try
cause the Second Wife could ruin your life.
MashAllah, well said sister
agree
If a man treats one woman better than the other, Allah will resurrect him with a crooked face. Allah is the most just
@@zrugzrug1888 what? Most just ? Why would a woman accept a guy being with another girl ? You men are lucky to find one girl with this disgusting attitude. Any girl with these men will need counselling .
Maa shaa Allaah.
Much respect to brother Tim! He seems very respectful, patient, and understanding. Helps so many people...
No women has to agree to anything. Some women may accept polygamy and some may not. A women isnt any less or "bad" because she doesnt except it. Shes human and she has the right to feelings. I personally would never except being a first,second wife etc. So she has the right to divorce and he can find someone who is okay with what he wants. Dont feel bad if u cant accept it ur not bad or a bad muslim theres no such thing and nor do u have to accept it. May Allah bless us with whats best for us.
Actually she is bad.
She should have realised
A) There is plenty of scientific and behavioural evidence to show men and women are biologically different and experience sex differently. Hence women should not deprive men of their biologically need for variety which women don’t have.
B) Allah has told women men are different, have a weakness for women and so a right to polygyny. Women shouldn’t behave like they know better than Allah. Instead accept it but no.
@@jamdoughnut1873 😂 ok lmao. No one is responsible to accept anything. You can’t force your heart. Idc about science. Allah himself understands. If a woman isn’t able to accept it she doesn’t have to. So it doesn’t matter if a man thinks it makes a woman bad. You can’t force anyone to be ok with anything, you cannot force your heart nor should she. It’s not haram nor does it make her a bad woman even if u think so, Allah doesn’t. If you want a bunch of wives and have no self control and is able to fulfill your duties with all the wives then find women who are ok with it. And let’s not forget in the Quran Allah tells men it’s better for them to stick with one wife because they aren’t capable of fulfilling their duties to all wives. And I hope to all women who read your comment, please don’t listen to him his opinion is his. It doesn’t change the fact that you aren’t held responsible for the way you feel and you have the right to leave. In the eyes of Allah you are not sinning or a bad woman. Do what’s best for you. And if a man thinks that your a “bad” woman because of it then so be it lmao who cares honestly. And she isn’t acting like she bows better than Allah lmao what does that even mean. Go and have a million wives but Allah never said she’s forced to accept it. Go find wives who are accepting of it lol. And I could say the same to you when Allah warns men of them not being cable to fulfill their duties to all wives and to stick to one. So I can say the same to you about behaving like your better than Allah. Allah never told anyone to accept anything nor is she obligated to.
Wait dont talk nonsense. What can be done and cant be done are decided based on Quran and sunnah, not feelings. A woman has to accept and try to continue the marriage. But if she finds it too burdensome or something (it may even lead to sin) then she can ask for khula and give compensation to the husband for wanting khula (usually a similar amount to the dowry). She cant just “divorce” just because she doesnt like it (sounds weird because women dont give talaq). Its a different case if there is a condition of not marrying another wife in the marriage contract in which case she can ask for khula without giving a compensation if he marries another one.
@@propheticguidance7842 yes she can. You can’t force anyone to stay. Nothing is nonsense. What’s nonsense is trying to manipulate women into thinking they are bad for not being ok with it. It’s not haram or wrong for her to leave. She doesn’t have to try and work it out because what’s there to work out. She does not accept him having another wife so she leaves the end.
@@nor332 give your evidence from quran or sunnah that she can leave just because she wants to or she thinks it will not work out even though she hasnt tried to see yet if it works out for her. If you dont want polygyny then make the condition before marriage (and it will be his choice if he wants to accept the condition and marry you or look for someone else) just like islam permits. But if you dont make that condition (and as such he marries you instead of looking for someone else and gives you dowry) you cant just suddenly say you will leave if he marries someone else.
I am all for a Muslim man taking a second or even fourth wife that's Allah ruling, but I saw lots of man with no jobs at all, some even on benefits trying to take a second wife, what kind of deen is that.
Each wife and child comes with their own rizq
@@Zeczam brother, you missed the point. if your first wife and children are not taking care of, and you are struggling to provide for them and the government is helping you out to care for them, you shouldn't be pursuing a second wife at all. period, once you can take of them by yourself. then, by All means, you should be encouraged to take a second wife.
@life Lesson a real Muslim man doesn't abuse his wife let alone beat her. my parents have married 30+ years and my dad never abuses my mom with words let alone with anything, I am married 3+ years, I never abuse my wife. it's in our religion not to abuse our women, and if any Muslim abuse his wife he should repent to Allah as he clearly goes against our beautiful religion and the teaching of our prophet Mohamed PBUH, and he followed his desire or his culture ( culture doesn't necessarily mean religion, we should separate).
@@Zeczam احسنت
Asalaam Alaikum Wa Ramutullah Wa Barakatuh at first I did not understand the hikman in this but now I totally agree. Sister made that a condition of your nikah let the brother decide if he wants to abide by it or find another wife. If the brother has any wisdom he would honor your arrangement. If he doesn't agree Ukht you have not lost any but you would have avoided a lot. Allah knows best.
If someone is not gonna want to be in a relationship anymore, he or she can decide to go..no need for permission of anyone. End of the story. I wont be depressed all my life just because my husband wants to fulfill his lust...what about me wanting more money? Can a guy give me that? he cant..so i go..this is crap of lying to your wife also..
Are you a scholar? If no your opinion doesnt count
@@bradjekarso2006 are you a sheep and follow anyone blinly? Get out of here haram.
@@Kareena1988 all the scholars say its haram, and you come here as if you studied islam for 40 years. You just follow your desires you moron
@@Kareena1988 exactly
@@bradjekarso2006 scholars say its sunnah and the best to have 1 and only get more if u need to help needy women.poly isnt about your desires .
Most men take a women and put her through so much struggle/babies etc when they have nothing but when she stays with him until he has money he suddenly wants a new wife
before marrying, specify that you want your husband to be exclusive just for you, and you disapprove plural marriage-NO other wives ! Put it in writing, have the groom sign it--- I want to be your "only" wife *
Wallah so true. They take her while she's a fragile ,warm,soft ,calm person,sensual ,feminjne ,sext . They turn her into a slave ,worse than a whipped horse then they want another
So what is wrong with that?
@@ammadasif1771 imao you really have a twisted moral compass if you're asking what is wrong with a man callously tossing his loyal wife's feeling asides for a new woman when he gets wealthier.
@@assiaa7395 you misunderstood. If he treats both of them fairly then what’s wrong?
People have been conditioned to dislike Polygamy. I feel like the overwhelming majority women don’t want it and they can’t stand it. If you really want to have multiple wives, it’s gonna be hard to find someone who will be satisfied.
thats true.
Women hate polygamy.it destroys family.its selfish act.
I do not dislike it there is 1 particular personal reason why my hubby having a 2nd wife may actually preserve our marriage, w that said, I will remain married to him ONLY IF she is a pious Muslima & hijabi. If she is a revert she must also be hijabi and have been a muslima for several years, keep her salats and know some surrahs and know the basics of Quran and what is a halal life style. Sure around the time of the prophet when Christians behaved as Christians and Jews behaved as Jews it was OK at that time for a Muslim man to marry a lady from either one of those faiths if there was no available Muslimas around, but in these times, everyone knows that an overwhelming majority of Jews and particularly Christians, are that in name only. Basically, if he brings home a kafur I’m out.
Polygamy marriages destroying families!!!
Yes it's true that people can be conditioned to dislike polygyny by both Western and non-western culture , or by their families and friends etc. But the fact of the matter is that a person doesn't necessarily have to be conditioned to dislike it. Even if people haven't been conditioned to dislike it, they can still dislike it because it's just their nature, i.e, they just naturally dislike it even without any external influence. I dislike it not because I've been conditioned, manipulated and brainwashed into disliking it, but because that's just the way I naturally am - it's just my nature.
I personally think women do not need to wait patiently and see how they will deal with their husbands second marriage to decide on khula, mainly because especially in the west and the society we live in, things which are not the norm can lead to severe mental and emotional pain leading to physical ailments. Men shouldn't take women frm cultures where it js not the norm of second marriages and subject a woman to that reality.
This is true but foe all women. Women do not accept as their natural state. This has meaning
These men constantly tell men that they can have more than one wife without the restrictions upon it by Allah ? These are restrictions that will have weight
They ignore it and act as if it is just a man’s right
Men are not ‘allowed’ to marry more than one woman in Islam.
After war when Muslims were outnumbered and men were killed women were left as widows with orphaned children.
It was allowed that a man could take up to 4 women in THESE circumstances. Only if he could treat them JUST. That doesn’t mean give merely food and shelter. Being ‘just ‘ covers everything including emotions.
If the woman does not fit these specifications it is adultery zina.
It was a CONCESSION to widows and orphaned children only. Not a RIGHT for men.
Believing Men Marry only Once by Default
From Quranic point, believing men should marry only once as normal practice.
We know this due to few reasons. One of them is that Allah states:
"Marry those who are single among you including the righteous ones from your male and female servants." (Qur'an 24:32)
Polygamy involves marriage to a man who is not single, therefore it is an exception only in the interest of taking care of orphans (marrying their mothers) - an exception, not a norm.
@@inaaranur1611 Sister can you please reference sources for your exegesis. Islam is based on Quran and Sunnah according to the understanding of the early Sahaabah and Scholars. What classical Tafsir literature proves your claim? Have you ever read a book of Islamic history/civilization? Were all the men marrying widowed women with orphans? Who preceded you in this subjective opinion of yours? Please don't be spreading misinformation about Islam. Men have been given the right from Allah to, marry multiple wives so long as they're equal in providing/provisioning for them all. To restrict polygyny to only widowed women with orphans needs proof(Tafseer) from the Salaf(classical exegesis).
@@enigmaticalmystery4647 but it is true. Sahabas mainly married women without a helping hand because their husbands had passed away in battles. Polygamy's purpose wasn't to entertain men more, it was to take care of helpless women. There was a significant change in gender ratio due to wars so number of women was more than the number of men, nowadays in almost all the muslim countries there are more men than women
@@abdullahmertozdemir9437 That's your personal subjective opinion brother, men have been marrying widowed or virgins from the beginning. The Sahaabah took on multiple wives they were of various backgrounds they may have been predominantly widows in times of war but, during times of peace and comfort they married virgins no doubt.
@@enigmaticalmystery4647 during times of peace scholars suggested to marry only one, as there was no need to get in polygamy and there was no need to take the risk of being unjust. Plus, a virgin might have a troublesome background too. What exactly do you think polygamy is for? To entertain husband's lust more and leave the wife heartbroken when there's literally no need to? There are more men than women, this will eventually cause problems
I did qul divorce on my husband because he was less caring for me and my children and we had issues for almost 10 years and I lhe wanted to torture me for a second wife while he knows he can’t afford and it was affecting me mentally financially and emotionally and even affecting my faithfulness to him .
And most men in America are doing this a lot subhanAllah
U did well
I hope u're doing ok now
@@sadyadey782 maybe you deserved it, alhamdullilah
that good for but you're to let
Jajakallah khaer. Praying from the bottom of my heart that, may Allah ( SWT) reward you for describe this issue. Most of the muslim scholars describe this issue so harshly, so that we Muslim women often get puzzled.
I agree.
This is how scholars describe though.
Most Muslim scholars are men. Thank Allah this scholar is not bias
Not true
It’s better to just stipulate monogamy in the marriage contract in the beginning not to be controlling but so you have the choice of walking away if you know something like that would cause you to be unhappy and suffer for the rest of your life. If a man is being very argumentative about it just leave it and marry someone else. Many men don’t mind in real life despite what the minority say on social media lol but they’ll try to convince you all men are combatant just to force you to give up. Just move on if it’s not for you.
Also ask Allāh for a monogamous partner often if that’s what you really want and seek refuge with Him (often) from ending up in a polygynous situation. It’s not compulsory at the end of the day.
Also I end with this Hadith where a woman sought khula when she was just very unhappy in her marriage despite no fault in he husband so what of when a man does something he knows will traumatize her over and over again for the rest of her life ?
the wife of Thabit ibn Qays ibn Shammaas (may Allah be pleased with him) came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) and said, “O Messenger of Allah, I do not find any fault with Thabit ibn Qays in his character or his religious commitment, but I do not want to commit any act of kufr after becoming a Muslim.” The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said to her, “Will you give back his garden?” Because he had given her a garden as her mahr. She said, “Yes.” The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said to Thabit: “Take back your garden, and divorce her.” (Narrated by al-Bukhari, 5273).
Women would rather share a successful man than settle down with a loser. I have seen it myself. Cope
@@abc-kn6ex any women from a financially well off family?
Wrong bruv.
If a man really love a women he won't search nother one. He won't make her suffer and won't do anything which separate her from him . I know it's halal but reality is this.
AlSalaamu Alaikum Sister. Respectfully, your statement is false. A man can marry a second wife and still love his first wife. Think about the prophet and the sahabah, did they not have multiple wives? Did they not still love their first wife? Your idea comes from the negative influences from western culture which portray marriage as a fairytale. Even in the West my sister, men are polygynous, they have extramarital haraam relationships whether with a mistress or a girlfriend. It is in the nature of man to want to be with multiple women and Allah (swt) restricted men to 4 wives. Who are we to put restrictions on what Allah made permissible for men to fulfill their God-given natural desire in a halal way. Think about it, if Muslim women make it impossible for a man to take another wife by having the mindset you have (“he took another wife so he doesn’t love me”), what halal avenues are left? Marriage is the only way. Muslim men should not engage in the evil ways of the West like mistresses, girlfriends, pornography and other evils. This permissibility to have multiple wives for men is from the wisdom of Allah (swt). Do you think Allah (swt) would legislate something that is unjust? Obviously not. Please don’t claim that a man does not love his first wife if he takes a second. This is completely false. If you have a child, then have a second, do you stop loving the first? No, you love them both. I am not claiming women are like children, I’m just giving you an example. Allah (swt) knows best.
@@aladdin_aljaylani why men can't lower their gaze. Why he can't control their desire. If first wife don't like taking second then it's hurting first wife can man take second, if he really love her he won't take second that what I meant. Mother's love can't compared to any other love. YOU are telling because of nature of man desire Allah allow it , no.Allah said every one to lower their gaze. If a man can do justice , can support equally then only he can marry multiple wives. If man can't control their desire ,if he marry 10 even he won't be satisfied. What you are saying is just like women are satisfying thing of man . ALLAH allowed marrying 4 not for their desire. Prophet Muhammad( saw) daughter Fathima ra even didn't like Ali ra her husband taking second wife. Why did she stop because she don't like. Wife can stop this if she don't like. Man can only marry if he can effort.
@@aladdin_aljaylani man want multiple wives. Woman only permissible one. Men don't Like his wife loving nother one but women can't thing the same. This is women nature she don't like her husband loving nother women. All have desire men and women even woman have multiple men. Men can take nother if he can effort but first can't be hurt. If first want to stop this she can stipulate in marriage contract.
@@sarashifu6863 Yes I agree with you, a man must be able to financially support any wives he marries. But I disagree that a woman can stop a man from marrying a second wife. Do you think men marry to also satisfy their desires? Obviously a man marries for many reasons, one important one is to have halal intimacy with a woman, to fulfill his desire. There is absolutely nothing wrong or shameful about this fact. Allah (swt) placed this desire in the man and he gave him a halal way to satisfy the desire. Should the man just lower his gaze and stay with one wife and fight the desire if he is capable financially of supporting another? Is it wrong for a good, practicing Muslim man who is capable of financially supporting multiple households to marry a second wife and continue loving and supporting his first wife and their children? I see nothing wrong with this. If you see something that I'm missing please let me know. May Allah (swt) preserve our Muslim families and make them stronger through Imaan and allow them to get rid of false Western influence and ideologies. Ameen.
@@aladdin_aljaylani marry woman you like if you can do justice👈this mention in quran. If first wife mentally suffering because of your marriage it is not fair. Women have right she can choose husband for her if she want a husband who don't like poligym ,she can choose him. Poligym is sunnah. Man agreed not to take second then he should follow. Allah didn't said woman to bear and live .No need to bear this if she don't want she can tell and refused,it's her right that is men's right. That's it.
Where did you get this info from? Can you state the shyookh? Assim Al Hakeem has a completely different take on this and he makes it clear it’s ok to ask for divorce and it’s ok to stipulate it in your marriage contract. He’s quite knowledgeable msA it’s unlikely he just disregarded reputable scholarly opinions
Jazakallah khair shiekh for addressing this issue. Islam came to protect people from injustice and exploitation. Only few scholars speak up on this with clarity and address practical reality of the issue, others all speak only theory
Men talk about sunnah, start with your fard also Muslim brothers ignore the sunnah of fasting on Monday and Thursday, they ignore the sunnah of praying 2 rakats before fair, they forget that Tahajjad is a sunnah. The only sunnah brothers remember is polygamy.
I believe I heard exploitation in this lecture. He insisted you can’t leave a man because he is marrying again.
@@Jahannam...Hellfire. Exactly 💯
Keep dreaming brothers, women these days don't need to be a 2nd wife and marry a married man.... aint gonna happen brothers, exceptions in very rare circumstances... women these days dont need to reply on men....
@Mr. Anderson idiot .. a women can get married to a single man...no need to be a 2nd wife to a married man these days.. Keep dreaming
@Zwarte gatwhat an idiotic comment... pray you are not consumed in the fire lunatic
You take about sunnah, start with your fard also Muslim brothers ignore the sunnah of fasting on mondays and Thursdays, they ignore the sunnah of praying 2 Rakats before fair, they forget that Tahajjud is a sunnah. The only sunnah they remember is to marry 4 wives... as Muslims we must fear Allah swt and not change the deen to suit our needs, unless we want Allah punishment to come upon us,
two or three or four. But if you fear that you will not be just, then one [marry only] from Quran...
And you will never be able to be equal just between wives, even if you should strive [to do so]. From quran from Quran...
Allah said
Verily, Allah orders justice and good conduct and giving to relatives and he forbids immorality and bad conduct and transgression. He admonishes you that perhaps you will be reminded.
Surat An-Nahl 16:90
And Allah says
O you who believe, be persistently standing firm for Allah as witnesses in justice, and do not let the hatred of a people prevent you from being just. Be just, for that is nearer to righteousness. Fear Allah, for Allah is aware of what you do.
Surat Al-Ma’idah 5:8
“A man who has two wives and who is completely inclined to one and who ignores the other emerges with one side of his body paralysed in the Day of Judgment.” (Hadith; Ibn Majah, Nikah, 47; Mishkat al-masabih, 2/196)
A woman does not consent to share her husband with another woman under normal circumstances, and no woman would like to marry a married man unless she has to.
It is a necessity of belief that polygamy is right. However, to believe it does not necessarily mean for a woman to consent to the second wife and approve it.
No believer father would like his son-in-law to marry a second, third or fourth woman along with his daughter. The jealous nature of the woman and the affection of the father for his daughter disapproves this. As a matter of fact, the daughter of our beloved Prophet, Sayyidah Fatima, objected to her husband, Ali’s marrying of a second woman. If it weren’t permissible to object, Sayyidah Fatima, who was brought up by our Prophet, would not have objected. The Messenger of Allah would have warned her and ordered her to consent to her husband’s wish. However, it did not take place like that. On the contrary, the Messenger of Allah, who saw that his daughter was worried, asked Ali to give up his wish and told him that if he did not give it up, he could marry another woman after divorcing Sayyidah Fatima. He did not consent to Ali’s second marriage to depress his daughter.
By considering that act of the Messenger of Allah, it can be stated that Muslim daughters and fathers may object to the second marriage of their husband or son-in-law.
Allhumdillah I divorce my husband because of polygamy marriages. I don't understand why men do polygamy marriages when they don't respect Allah SWT Frist, men don't do Salah, read Quran, fasting, tahajjad at night, these men don't even care about their own children, wives at home and his looking for wife number 5 outside. No respect for other people's mother's sisters and daughters nomore! No respect
InshAllah I do polygamy
Its not a threat when a woman doesnt want to have poly.its not her fearing she cannot be truthful to Allah.it doesnt mean she is afraid of sinnig,it just meant she doesnt want to have poly.its a normal thing.stop putting words in womens mouth and making them feel guilty when they dont was a poly by saying ”its bc she fears on sinning/not being able to be a great muslimah” .That’s guilt tripping women who dont want it.Even the pious ones.we are allowed to dislike it,nothing haram or sinning about it istaghfaullah.
She can and if she's on the brink of self harm she must do khula. Polygamy is not for every women,as is not for every man
Unless the husband doesn't fulfill her rights nor does what he Is Instructed to provide as a husband, I am certain that she cannot leave the marriage just because of an act that Is made permissible.
@@MohamedAhmed-vk1nhwhat if it's affecting her mental health?
@@MohamedAhmed-vk1nhyou want her to die being unhappy and depressed?
@@MohamedAhmed-vk1nhthat’s funny actually if she is not happy with it she has every right to leave she is not Slave😂😂
@@MarwaAhmed-ni3tw no she deosnt. orophet kuhmmad sasd women dont smell fragrance of jannh if they seek diovrce withiut ajy freason
Allah he doesn’t put more on a person than they can bare. There is no force in the religion.
Men should focus first on improving their character rather than looking for a 2nd wife. Many dont deserve one let alone 2 SMH.
Ur husband will have 4 wives
@@mohammed23240 nah
Character continues to improve until the day we die. It especially improves during marriage, hence why marriage is half our Deen. Men should rather be looking to take 2nd, 3rd and 4th wives from war torn areas like Palestine, should they have the capacity to do so. This gives women there financial stability and provides a means of Barakah to spread into the home of the husband, reaching his first wife and children. May Allah provide our widows husbands Amin.
Brother tim is a real man..Allah bless him.. Allah is merciful. He has mentioned one marriage for reason as preference even in times of polygamy.
Prophet wanted to put a stop to all cruelties to women. He preached kindness towards them. He told the Muslims: "Fear Allah in respect of women." And: "The best of you are they who behave best to their wives." And: "A Muslim must not hate his wife, and if he be displeased with one bad quality in her, let him be pleased with one that is good." And:"The more civil and kind a Muslim is to his wife, the more perfect in faith he is."
The Prophet (peace be upon him) was most emphatic in enjoining upon Muslims to be kind to their women when he delivered his famous khutba on the Mount of Mercy at Arafat in the presence of one hundred and twenty-four thousand of his Companions who had gathered there for the Hajj al-Wada (Farewell Pilgrimage). In it he ordered those present, and through them all those Muslims who were to come later, to be respectful and kind towards women. He said:
"Fear Allah regarding women. Verily you have married them with the trust of Allah, and made their bodies lawful with the word of Allah. You have got (rights) over them, and they have got (rights) over you in respect of their food and clothing according to your means."
In Islam a woman is a completely independent personality. She can make any contract or bequest in her own name. She is entitled to inherit in her position as mother, as wife, as sister and as daughter. She has perfect liberty to choose her husband. The pagan society of pre-Islamic Arabia had an irrational prejudice against their female children whom they used to bury alive. The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) was totally opposed to this practice. He showed them that supporting their female
Islam raised the status of women, and made them equal with men in most rulings. So women, like men, are commanded to believe in Allah and to worship Him. And women are made equal to men in terms of reward in the Hereafter. Women have the right to express themselves, to give sincere advice, to enjoin what is good and forbid what is evil, and to call people to Allah. Women have the right to own property, to buy and sell, to inherit, to give charity and to give gifts. It is not permissible for anyone to take a woman’s wealth without her consent. For more about the rights of women in Islam, see the detailed answer.Islam showed full respect to the women and ensured rights, dignity and honour and equal status of men and women in case of marriage because for being a valid marriage acquiescence of the bride groom as well as bride is mandatory. In this regard no one is superior.The Quran explicitly states that men and women are equal in the eyes of God. Furthermore, the Quran: forbids female infanticide (practiced in pre-Islamic Arabia and other parts of the world) instructs Muslims to educate daughters as well as sons.
For a man looking for a second wife just think if it was your daughter who is someone's first wife would you like it if the guy gets a second wife?
They don't like it if their fathers, sisters husbands or daughter's husband do polygamy marriages!
or imagine your daughter is in her late 30s and still unmarried and has fallen/or is at risk for falling into zina.... would you prefer she continues falling/risking falling into zina dating relationships?? or would you prefer a man marry her as his second wife and follow Allah's laws in treating them both justly??
Better to be single then in polygamy marriages with a narcissist husband!
@@Hell...FireIsReal a monogamous relationship with a narcissist would be pretty awful too
Best be single!
She has the right to divorce him if she doesn't want to be married to him anymore.
Prophet wanted to put a stop to all cruelties to women. He preached kindness towards them. He told the Muslims: "Fear Allah in respect of women." And: "The best of you are they who behave best to their wives." And: "A Muslim must not hate his wife, and if he be displeased with one bad quality in her, let him be pleased with one that is good." And:"The more civil and kind a Muslim is to his wife, the more perfect in faith he is."
The Prophet (peace be upon him) was most emphatic in enjoining upon Muslims to be kind to their women when he delivered his famous khutba on the Mount of Mercy at Arafat in the presence of one hundred and twenty-four thousand of his Companions who had gathered there for the Hajj al-Wada (Farewell Pilgrimage). In it he ordered those present, and through them all those Muslims who were to come later, to be respectful and kind towards women. He said:
"Fear Allah regarding women. Verily you have married them with the trust of Allah, and made their bodies lawful with the word of Allah. You have got (rights) over them, and they have got (rights) over you in respect of their food and clothing according to your means."
In Islam a woman is a completely independent personality. She can make any contract or bequest in her own name. She is entitled to inherit in her position as mother, as wife, as sister and as daughter. She has perfect liberty to choose her husband. The pagan society of pre-Islamic Arabia had an irrational prejudice against their female children whom they used to bury alive. The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) was totally opposed to this practice. He showed them that supporting their female
Islam raised the status of women, and made them equal with men in most rulings. So women, like men, are commanded to believe in Allah and to worship Him. And women are made equal to men in terms of reward in the Hereafter. Women have the right to express themselves, to give sincere advice, to enjoin what is good and forbid what is evil, and to call people to Allah. Women have the right to own property, to buy and sell, to inherit, to give charity and to give gifts. It is not permissible for anyone to take a woman’s wealth without her consent. For more about the rights of women in Islam, see the detailed answer.Islam showed full respect to the women and ensured rights, dignity and honour and equal status of men and women in case of marriage because for being a valid marriage acquiescence of the bride groom as well as bride is mandatory. In this regard no one is superior.The Quran explicitly states that men and women are equal in the eyes of God. Furthermore, the Quran: forbids female infanticide (practiced in pre-Islamic Arabia and other parts of the world) instructs Muslims to educate daughters as well as sons.
If she loves him then how can she think about divorcing him...
@@KadershaN-ou2sj if he loved her, how could he think of marrying someone else?
@@btb554 She may denied him sex? That's why men make affairs with another women...
any woman who divorces her husband for no reason will never smell the fragrance of paradise
Yes she can as a right given by his. She can put it in her nikkah contract too … if he wants more then one wife then he should make that clear before the first nikkah
This is a really good video Alhamdulillah. I think the scholar was very level-headed and down-to-earth in his explanation of the matter. Made me very happy after watching this video and listening to what he said.
Prophet wanted to put a stop to all cruelties to women. He preached kindness towards them. He told the Muslims: "Fear Allah in respect of women." And: "The best of you are they who behave best to their wives." And: "A Muslim must not hate his wife, and if he be displeased with one bad quality in her, let him be pleased with one that is good." And:"The more civil and kind a Muslim is to his wife, the more perfect in faith he is."
The Prophet (peace be upon him) was most emphatic in enjoining upon Muslims to be kind to their women when he delivered his famous khutba on the Mount of Mercy at Arafat in the presence of one hundred and twenty-four thousand of his Companions who had gathered there for the Hajj al-Wada (Farewell Pilgrimage). In it he ordered those present, and through them all those Muslims who were to come later, to be respectful and kind towards women. He said:
"Fear Allah regarding women. Verily you have married them with the trust of Allah, and made their bodies lawful with the word of Allah. You have got (rights) over them, and they have got (rights) over you in respect of their food and clothing according to your means."
In Islam a woman is a completely independent personality. She can make any contract or bequest in her own name. She is entitled to inherit in her position as mother, as wife, as sister and as daughter. She has perfect liberty to choose her husband. The pagan society of pre-Islamic Arabia had an irrational prejudice against their female children whom they used to bury alive. The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) was totally opposed to this practice. He showed them that supporting their female
Islam raised the status of women, and made them equal with men in most rulings. So women, like men, are commanded to believe in Allah and to worship Him. And women are made equal to men in terms of reward in the Hereafter. Women have the right to express themselves, to give sincere advice, to enjoin what is good and forbid what is evil, and to call people to Allah. Women have the right to own property, to buy and sell, to inherit, to give charity and to give gifts. It is not permissible for anyone to take a woman’s wealth without her consent. For more about the rights of women in Islam, see the detailed answer.Islam showed full respect to the women and ensured rights, dignity and honour and equal status of men and women in case of marriage because for being a valid marriage acquiescence of the bride groom as well as bride is mandatory. In this regard no one is superior.The Quran explicitly states that men and women are equal in the eyes of God. Furthermore, the Quran: forbids female infanticide (practiced in pre-Islamic Arabia and other parts of the world) instructs Muslims to educate daughters as well as sons.
Doesn't anyone discuss all things related beforehand, so there are no surprises? How many children you want, where you will live, how you provide etc.
whenever i ask, he will give vague answers like if ALLAH permits it. or just trust ALLAH. it is so frustrating trying to ask what his goals are, or maybe he doesn't have a goal. just trying to survive like most humans do.
@@Amynity Surviving like most people do is planning.
People don't plan to fail, they fail to plan.
Discussing with your future partner choices for life is a very serious and necessary endeavor that will strengthen a marriage.
God bless you sister.
listen, a wife can not stop her husband from a second marriage but she doesnt have to stay in the marriage either, it is her right to choose to stay or not once there is a potential second wife, now if she stays and is patient then she is rewarded but she doesnt have to. also she can not threaten her husband with their kids if he chooses to marry another woman. and Allahu aalam
Women dont have the right of divorce. Divorce is only allowed with a valid reason
@@bradjekarso2006 Not being able to fulfill rights because of his marriage to a second wife is a valid reason. Allah doesn't grant rights to just men you know. Also not loving a man and not being able to fulfil rights is also a valid reason. This is proven by the hadith the sheikh quoted. Trust me, any decent man who has no interest in a woman who doesn't love him or want him, would be only too happy to be rid of her. It is indecent men who are vengeful and petty would try to hold on to a woman who doesn't want him and he doesn't want.
@@aphihrsi8453 and how do you know he wont fullfill her rights? Or did just assume stuff to fit your stupid logic
Then all a polygamous man have to do is
Keep marrying
If the former wives stay for supporting kids, its upto them to suffer
If they don't, well good for him, he can live with his new wives.
@@bradjekarso2006 if the husband did it without caring about the other wife's feelings then she has the right to divorce it's a valid reason
This man in the video is very biased, to be frank.
Muhammad ﷺ also married only Khadijah ra. until her last day. Only her. She was divirced (twice) und also much older than Muhammad ﷺ. And he ﷺ still loved her so much, even after her death. Nobody remembers this Sunnah. And this kind of love. I have the feeling that people nowadays don’t know what love is or relationship between husband and wife actually means anymore.
Nobody wants to take their rights away, audhubillah. Nobody dares to do that. But is one woman not enough?
Is this kind of love nonexistent?
Subhanallah. Muhammad ﷺ never married many women because of lust or something like that - but because because of Islamic, political and social reason. He ﷺ could’ve been married to the most beautiful young woman who is also a virgin who was alive at his age of 25, but he ﷺ did not. He ﷺ got married to multiple women when he ﷺ got much older and he did so for the reasons that I’ve already mentioned.
Qur'an
So ur giving fatwa?ur feminist dajjal!
Well I think women should divorce there husband straight away if they want a second wife no pointing wasting your life for such a men go live your life n be happy
'such a men' do you accuse men who want a second wife to be an evil man to be using that language towards them?
@@ldrago6031 Really depends on the context but in most cases this is unjust. Yet, I do not understand your comparison as polygyny is arguably rewardable and increasing the mahr greatly is in opposition to the Sunnah.
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The best of marriage is that which is made easiest.” Narrated by Ibn Hibbaan, classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 3300.
And he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The best of mahrs is the simplest (or most affordable).” Narrated by al-Haakim and al-Bayhaqi, classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 3279.
Ibn Maajah (1887) narrated that ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab said: “Do not go to extremes with regard to the dowries of women, for if that were a sign of honour and dignity in this world or a sign of piety before Allaah, then Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) would have done that before you. But he did not give any of his wives, and none of his daughters were given, more than twelve uqiyah. A man may increase the dowry until he feels resentment against her and says, ‘You cost me everything I own, and caused me a great deal of hardship’.” Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Ibn Maajah, 1532.
@@ldrago6031 I am pleased to see different sides of the argument. May Allāh increase us in knowledge. However my original point stands. Why did the commenter feel the need to say 'wasting your life with such a men', antagonising the a man who partakes in polygyny.
You women have been modernised and fell for this feminist ideology it's a shame.
Yeah because such men who partake in polygamy nowadays are horrible and inconsiderate.
I believe it's his right and i will not stand in his way but i know i couldn't cope so i would prefer to move on keeping it as civil as possible
May Allah bless your husband with 4 wives
Question: what about the men, who don't do other sunnah like fasts sunnah mondays and thursdays, making tahajjuds etc. Even don't do Fard salah and making haram, does he have any rights to marry a second wife?
Barakallahu feekum wa rahmatullah wa barakatu
The rights is still there, but what in universe Muslimah want accept married by Muslim men that dont do salah? He should never get pious woman.
Also, the wife has rights to divorced if the Husband don't do salah. It is also strong reason by religion law. Why still obey fasik men (that dont do salah)? Even if the polygyny never happened.
We should work by the rights and responsibilities of every party based on Islamic law, and not interferring others rights...
if he doesnt pray fard salah then he is not a muslim, there is a consensus among the sahaba that if a muslim leaves one fard prayer he has left islam and therefore any marriage with him is nullfied and void and having sexual relations with him would be fornication, divorce would be obligatory upon the woman, she would have to inform her husband about this, if he accepts the advice and starts praying, alhamdulilah he can have 4 wives if he wants, if doesnt, then the wife must leave him
A man who doesn't pray isn't a muslim
Often people forget the second woman who comes into the marriage, once the man realizes the stress and problems that crop up after he takes a second wife he cannot withstand it and promptly finds a fault in the second woman and divorces her.
The woman who agrees to be a second wife is abandoned and kicked to the curb in a lot of cases.
Was she aware the man was married?
@@TheOrganics01 even if she knew she has as much rights as the 1st wife
@@TheOrganics01 yes, despite conditions when a man buckles under first family pressure the second lady suffers.. she gets sacrificed especially if a mistake was to happen on her part men find it extremely difficult to resist and withstand such emotional pressure. Except the rare few who Allah has bestowed his mercy upon.. and this affair is very much dependent on taqwa of Allah too.
@@hafsa1698 yes which is why this matter of justice is very serious in the eyes of Allah.
Shaytaan does not leave a couple, then think of a man that has two.
Except whom Allah bestows the taufiq upon.. intention and ability is paramount, it is a matter of great responsibility.
That is why in the Quran Allah says it is better to have one wife because it is very hard to do justice between the two. A man has to be equal and fulfill both their emotinal and physical and other needs but this is almost impossible
I dont understand why man likes to juggle between two three or four wives.why cant they be satisfied with one partner.
Muslim brothers cant even take care of one wife, forget 2 wives!
as Muslims we must fear Allah swt and not change the deen to suit our needs, unless we want Allah punishment to come upon us,
two or three or four. But if you fear that you will not be just, then one [marry only] from Quran...
And you will never be able to be equal just between wives, even if you should strive [to do so]. From quran from Quran...
Allah said
Verily, Allah orders justice and good conduct and giving to relatives and he forbids immorality and bad conduct and transgression. He admonishes you that perhaps you will be reminded.
Surat An-Nahl 16:90
And Allah says
O you who believe, be persistently standing firm for Allah as witnesses in justice, and do not let the hatred of a people prevent you from being just. Be just, for that is nearer to righteousness. Fear Allah, for Allah is aware of what you do.
Surat Al-Ma’idah 5:8
“A man who has two wives and who is completely inclined to one and who ignores the other emerges with one side of his body paralysed in the Day of Judgment.” (Hadith; Ibn Majah, Nikah, 47; Mishkat al-masabih, 2/196)
A woman does not consent to share her husband with another woman under normal circumstances, and no woman would like to marry a married man unless she has to.
It is a necessity of belief that polygamy is right. However, to believe it does not necessarily mean for a woman to consent to the second wife and approve it.
No believer father would like his son-in-law to marry a second, third or fourth woman along with his daughter. The jealous nature of the woman and the affection of the father for his daughter disapproves this. As a matter of fact, the daughter of our beloved Prophet, Sayyidah Fatima, objected to her husband, Ali’s marrying of a second woman. If it weren’t permissible to object, Sayyidah Fatima, who was brought up by our Prophet, would not have objected. The Messenger of Allah would have warned her and ordered her to consent to her husband’s wish. However, it did not take place like that. On the contrary, the Messenger of Allah, who saw that his daughter was worried, asked Ali to give up his wish and told him that if he did not give it up, he could marry another woman after divorcing Sayyidah Fatima. He did not consent to Ali’s second marriage to depress his daughter.
By considering that act of the Messenger of Allah, it can be stated that Muslim daughters and fathers may object to the second marriage of their husband or son-in-law.
Never ever believe these Muslim brothers because they lie. I still get single men asking me for marriage and I wouldn't marry another sisters husband because shes going to get hurt in her heart. I wouldn't hurt or upset a sister for a husband!
@@JahannamHellfire
Keep hadith a side and talk from Quran. Quran is the criteria which Allah will put on the table to judge on the final day. He will not put books of sahih Bukhari and etc....
The references you posted from Quran are correct but you need to put at verses at right context.
The ref which says you can't justify between wives is pointing to the person who is already married with more than a wife.
Allah is consoling men that you can't satisfy them equally but then Allah suggests don't be that much inclined to one wife and leave other hanging a side and try every effort and you will be rewarded for it.
Balancing two wives equally is not possible because one is pregnant then you might spend more time with her and less with other but every day is not same. The other wife should understand this despite of jealousy. Tomorrow husband may spend more time with second wife when she needs him more due to sickness or health reasons.
So overall Allah says you can't satisfy both equally so it doesn't mean you stop polygamy when Allah has given enought money and knowledge of the deen.
If both men and women are following the Quranic commands and leading life then polygamy is easy. But if they are following as per desires then it is not possible for them..
Allah said: And you will never be able to be equal between wives, even if you should strive [to do so].} [Quran 4:129]
Ladies..just love Allah alone and be kind to everyone else.Nothing belongs to us....Nothing..not our parents kids,siblings, partners etc.Everything in this world is a test Alghamdullilah
جزآك الله خيرا
I come from monogamous society....i will stipulate this condition inshallah for my own security...in my society men at time of marriage demads dowry from bride father ...couldnot even pray 5 times a day so how could women bear a co wife....if i love my husband so much and if he takes another wife and if i have to remain with him i will definetely loses loving him..i can not be able to pass smile when he sees me, when he demands intamcy i will be just a body for him because i can not ignore that he has another wife...i will do my duties but not loving him and maybe after sometime i start hating him....because i can provide for my self so i do not need gifts or money from him that can console me
Well said
100% every women has the right so NO to this nonsense
Ur husband will have 4 wives إن شاء الله
It's not nonsense. It comes from Allah
I'm OK with it as long as the man fears Allah and he tries his best to do justice between the wives. The problem is brothers abuse it. May Allah protect us. I love Allah more than any man and I would never disobey Allah just to keep some guy to myself. Allah comes first.
Are you saying that injustice does not happen?
@will de So you are not aware that some men don't follow what Allah commanded them?
@will de OK
"The problem is brothers abuse it" how do they abuse it lol? if you dont know, dont make statements you cant defend. stay silent, and know your place.
it is not the role of islam to protect your fragile ego, lol nor is it the role of the husband.
if you cant accept polygamy , then you are not a muslim. you can either be a feminist or a muslim, dont embarrass your trying to mix the 2 ideologies. lol
well these days unless you are rich , how can you afford more than one anyway. some people cant even afford one
I think before marriage the wife should have it as a specification. That if he marries another she has the choice to divorce. If she likes.
Some women emotionally disconnect from their husbands when they take a second wife. This is a very real scenario which most women go through.
Do you know most women do you?
Jazakallah khayr for the clarification. May Allah (SWT) reward you.
It's jazakAllah . Pare rectify
Jazakumullahu khairan
If we read tafsir of aayat 3 surah nisa, Allah prohibiting the selfish men to marry orphan girl and giving them advice to marry girl of your choice whether two or three or four only if you are just among them or marry slave girl (without Meher) ( as they don't want to give Meher) or contained with one.
It's Highly demotivating not to practise polygamy. Polygamy is highly discouraged in Islam just like slavery, you're allowed to have slaves but not encouraged. As it's mentioned in Hadith prophet ordered men who have multiples wives like 10 give talaq to 6 and have one but they disliked so prophet told them max you can have four by doing justice only.
Sheikh here are all promoting Arab Culture not Islam.
f someone is not gonna want to be in a relationship anymore, he or she can decide to go..no need for permission of anyone.
God create men. And when God saw Adam sad and lonley, he create the woman from his ribs. ONE woman he gave him. God did Not create 4 woman for the men. God give Adam ONE woman. Men has taken the so call "right" to marriage 4 wifes. It is not God who give that right. Men had put that right on woman. It s Not fear, it is impossible! Share the same men sexually, economically, attention , love.. it's NOT easy. I admire those woman who does it. They are Brave!
Respected sister with all due respect, what you're speaking in no way shape or form does it sound islamic, no man has the right to make things permissible or impersmissible by himself, Allah himself made it permissible for a man to marry either 1,2,3 or 4 wives, cus it's mentioned in the Quran, and there's not a single thing that can be mentioned in the which Allah hasn't allowed, in fact it is Allah who has allowed it, and concerning the part that it's hard so yea that's there, but at the same time it's not haram for a man to do so, hope that answers the question
Sister, the Islamic law isn't based upon what country we live in, tho i understand it's hard for a person who wants to have more than one wife, can't do it in christian countries, but the I'm trying to make is, that's not what we look at, we obey the rules of the land but we do not compromise our religion in any way shape or form, nor do we consider Polygny to be disgraceful as christians believe, but what a person can rather do is move to a muslim country where he is allowed to marry more than one wife, & Allah knows best
"It is not God who give that right."
Fear الله and refrain from speaking without knowledge. It is mentioned in the Qur'an itself.
[[If you fear that you will not do justice to the orphans, then, marry the women you like, in twos, in threes and in fours. But, if you fear that you will not maintain equity, then (keep to) one woman, or bondwomen you own. It will be closer to abstaining from injustice.]] (4:3)
Narcissist men love polygamy marriages!
astagfirullah al azeem
you are saying that the rule of marrying max 4 women came from men, not from Allah. audhibillah. this statement can be a statement of kufr
Beautifully explained. Jajakallah khairan❤❤
SubhanAllah ,as a woman this video was like a hug ! ❤️JazakAllah khair
Prophet wanted to put a stop to all cruelties to women. He preached kindness towards them. He told the Muslims: "Fear Allah in respect of women." And: "The best of you are they who behave best to their wives." And: "A Muslim must not hate his wife, and if he be displeased with one bad quality in her, let him be pleased with one that is good." And:"The more civil and kind a Muslim is to his wife, the more perfect in faith he is."
The Prophet (peace be upon him) was most emphatic in enjoining upon Muslims to be kind to their women when he delivered his famous khutba on the Mount of Mercy at Arafat in the presence of one hundred and twenty-four thousand of his Companions who had gathered there for the Hajj al-Wada (Farewell Pilgrimage). In it he ordered those present, and through them all those Muslims who were to come later, to be respectful and kind towards women. He said:
"Fear Allah regarding women. Verily you have married them with the trust of Allah, and made their bodies lawful with the word of Allah. You have got (rights) over them, and they have got (rights) over you in respect of their food and clothing according to your means."
In Islam a woman is a completely independent personality. She can make any contract or bequest in her own name. She is entitled to inherit in her position as mother, as wife, as sister and as daughter. She has perfect liberty to choose her husband. The pagan society of pre-Islamic Arabia had an irrational prejudice against their female children whom they used to bury alive. The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) was totally opposed to this practice. He showed them that supporting their female
Islam raised the status of women, and made them equal with men in most rulings. So women, like men, are commanded to believe in Allah and to worship Him. And women are made equal to men in terms of reward in the Hereafter. Women have the right to express themselves, to give sincere advice, to enjoin what is good and forbid what is evil, and to call people to Allah. Women have the right to own property, to buy and sell, to inherit, to give charity and to give gifts. It is not permissible for anyone to take a woman’s wealth without her consent. For more about the rights of women in Islam, see the detailed answer.Islam showed full respect to the women and ensured rights, dignity and honour and equal status of men and women in case of marriage because for being a valid marriage acquiescence of the bride groom as well as bride is mandatory. In this regard no one is superior.The Quran explicitly states that men and women are equal in the eyes of God. Furthermore, the Quran: forbids female infanticide (practiced in pre-Islamic Arabia and other parts of the world) instructs Muslims to educate daughters as well as sons.
Alhamdulillah for the right given to women to mention it in their marriage contract ❤❤❤ now that’s just, this shows Allah gave the right of choice to women to stay or not stay with a man who wants more wives.
Marrying 4 wives is man right. Men never bother his first wife will be suffer from this , he did it because his desire and call it his right. When married women see other men that's call sin but men get love and marry it's his right. While putting some one in pain giving life for other one won't be fair. Your doing it only for your desire by using islam .
exactly--
Jahil you are: Allah stated that he should do it out of his choice(his desire) and if he got the ability to do justice between them!
Simple really... the men who have loads of money and are generally kind of arrogant will marry many times regardless of any impact on women or kids... so women please stop looking at money and marry a guy with a good character and good heart. I can honestly tell you there are more good men in this world than good women. I'm saying this as a woman. If you can be your husband's best friend and you chose him for companionship over money these matters won't even come anywhere near you.
Not only does my husband have respect for me but also whatever he makes he gives me and he trusts me. I don't splash out money on makeup or waste it on expensive clothes. I don't disrespect him and we can laugh and joke. I honestly love him so much that if I couldn't fulfill his needs I would actually wish for him to have another wife and I would never want him to feel sad or upset. I honestly don't think I know many couples around me who even care about each other. Women place this comment of you can't get a second wife yet I ask as his wife what level is your relationship on? Ppl are in relationships just because they have to be, it's like the women just felt she was getting a bit old so she just got married or the guy feels like his mum wanted him to marry so he just married. These marriages are based on what if I could have married someone better. This is shaytaans way of making problems.
In all honesty the men who I know of who have second wife's have a certain character- they are not close to any woman. They tend to lie easily or be very secretive. Or they are loaded with money and have very little respect for even their own parents. They tend to be distanced from their kids. Or they tend to be looking for something missing like wanting a baby boy and first wife only had all girls. Sadly these guys are deep down broken...
I'm sure there are guys out there with 2 wives who they love both exactly equally and are able to divide their time and money and companionship with both exactly equally. Please let us know if you are that guy because I haven't ever met known such a guy.
It's extremely rare to find a man who can treat his wives equally and lovingly in this day and age. I haven't seen it too.
Some men need to lower there gaze even more! Stop watching filth stop going to free mix gyms, stop with the second wife threats
Stop getting the wife pregnant cuz your selfish not to use protection!
This nonsense is getting out of hand you can not handle the first wife and give her Islamic rights so you want to Marry again to a barren or virgin women?!
I really can't be able to manage mentally because I work so hard for our marriage. Plus th3 fact that some time their put us so much down but we keep trying to be pleasing to our husband.
for me as a woman or as a first wife I will never leave my husband though Even if he marries another woman again Because the important thing is that your husband will not leave you even if he has another wife it is better for the man of four women to marry than for him to marry someone else and then leave you So my only advice to muslimahs around the world You must understand that polygamy is a sunnah As long as it is able to equalize the rights of wives there is no issue there You are muslimah right?So you should already know that it is sunnah
Sunnah is not a fard, and what if the man cause injustice, if the first woman is depressed it is injustice. Especially in this time and in some cultures some woman don’t accept it but another accept. You can’t judge what someone wants only God knows how it will make us feel. If it will cause psychological harm to the woman she can leave, a man can’t own us, if we are not happy we can leave.
@@cel974 If a man is able to treat all of his wives just, then there is no issue in polygamy. Sure not all men can do this, but you are saying it as if all men cannot treat their wives just and men are inherently unjust. As for divorcing, divorcing is allowed for women but divorce is only allowed for valid reasons, "not being happy" is very ambiguous and vague, the reason for divorce may need to be clearer than that! For example a woman may not be happy in a marriage because she is seeing someone else, is that a valid reason for divorce because she wants to cheat on her husband? So yes please speak with knowledge and be wary of what you say.
Divorcing is a very serious thing and it shouldn't be taken lightly
The prophet salallahu 'alaihi wasallam said: "If a woman asks her husband for a divorce, for no reason, then the smell of Paradise is forbidden for her". (At-Tirmidhi narrated it. He said this is a hasan hadith. Sunan At-Tirmidhi, 1187.)
Allah recommends 1 wife over more wives. It's in the quran. Some men don't want to admit that.
@@idkbro4932many woman can't accept polygamy even their husband gave them 1 tons of gold and 1000 of maids, you can't blame them. You can't force them to accept it. It's easy to say because you are the man.
This is the most interesting discussion. Reminds me of Galileo. He was quarantined when he said that earth moves around the word.
That is religion for you? Quran has it's rule and Bible has it's own.
I am a second wife, we all live together, and we have a wonderful life. Subhanallah 🤲
Alhamdulillah some people can bear it while others prefer not to and everyone is free to make their decision
@@mariaaziz7442 Strong women can overcome this, and I respect those women so much!
ALLAAHumma barak laka! if you want, could you please share some tips?
This is adultery. God at the time of creation created one man and one woman. In the old testament we see that king David, Solomon and others who had many wives, asked for Gods forgiveness. Marriage is a promise of love, loyalty and respect for one another, and a covenant with God that 2 become one. Anything else is not of God.
@@MyJDBBaby Where did David, and Solomon, may God be pleased with them, asked for forgiveness for doing polygamy?
Jazakallahukhair
"Simply"??? What the hell is that? Then what if the woman wants another man then she is a bad woman
she is an adulteress
Cause its haraam.
Diff between halal and haraam
Jazakulloh khoyron!
What if you go into a marriage knowing if he ever does get a second wife you can’t fulfil his rights rather than waiting for it to happen and then getting a divorce
You could just stipulate in the marriage contract (nikkah) that he's not allowed to have more than one wife so long as you're alive.
@@Aa-dc2xu the sheikh says this isn’t the best thing to do and there’s a difference of opinion on the matter
@@abxnam737 I'm pretty sure the sheikh here said it's fine for a women to do it. Whether a man wants to marry a women who stipulates it in the marriage contract is a different story and depends on the man. Most muslim men only marry one wife so it shouldn't be a problem.
Watch from around 6:30 in the video and he talks about it.
@@Aa-dc2xu jazakallahi khairan ..I am confused on this.. whether it's against islam or something..now it's clear.. 💖
@@Aa-dc2xu while we are allowed to make stipulations to not be involved with polygamy, I would be careful with that wording... it can become sinful for us. We cannot make something haram that is halal. If he is capable, Allah allows him to have more than one wife.. so we can never "disallow" him. All we can do is stipulate that we don't want a polygamous marriage. If he agrees and signs on that, it becomes a major sin for him and the marriage would be dissolved if he breaks that clause. Allah knows best.
To those men who want to practice polygamy because they are super men thinking about those many women nowdays who have no husband.(most of those who bring this issue is trying to convince us..that he is doing that because he is a superman helping the women in need...without him wanting that for his sexual reasons)
You can go ahead and marry 4 women...that is your right...because one woman is not enough for you, while thinking it is not my right to say that having a husband for 91 days a year is not enough for me???
By the way...many women feel off having a sexual relationship with their husbands while knowing that he does with other women...or finding his romance with her meaningful while she knows he had the same senario with his other wife.
So dont assume that any woman who doesnt have a husband is needy...and she prefers dealing with the matter I mentioned above...sacrificing her mental and emotional health to have you as a man in her life
I get why men would want second wives. But what I don’t get is why do some women want to become second wives, when there are many single men. Why be apart of a marriage, knowing you most likely will cause pain, heartbreak and emotional distress to another women (and possibly her kids), and potentially to them too.
many single men would prefer to marry younger women, with no childen, unmarried etc. What about all the older women who are divorved with children, or widowed... What do we do with them? Should they just die single even though they also have desires which Allah created them with? Polygamy benefits the Ummah at large, as men whom Allah has bestowed wealth and the ability could take care of these women, by marrying them as an additional wife
Bcz those women r losers n cannot put a decent roof on their head without a man OR they r just interested in more wealth.
What if her husband is married in Islam faith but I'm not know to his wife or family and does not bother with his child she has to pay for everything what do I do
What if he was looking to marry a second wife who is already married, whilst planning to divorce the first wife for no real reason, all whilst being unable to financially support the first wife 🤔
😂
marrying a woman who is already married? unable to finanically support the first wife? if he cant support his first wife then she has the right to divorce him, and he cant marry a woman who is already married lol
Hahanahha
Polygamy at the time of the prophet was a major part of their culture not only in Arab but also in other parts of the world. But polygamy today is way too different and difficult to accept for any woman or society. Allah allowed polygamy for the welfare of the widow. But now people gas just sexualized this concept. Nouman Ali khan has explained polygamy in the following video, just a bit-
th-cam.com/video/v7YBhhQPdbo/w-d-xo.html
Men can never imagine how difficult it is for a woman to see his husband taking a second wife. It can cause her heart to bleed out of pain but they just care about their selves. It is better that a woman put this condition in the marriage contract and discuss it before marriage to avoid any problems after marriage.
This is very interesting and i have to admit unfortunately a lot of my sisters who dont want their husbands to gave a second wife (which is their right) dont fully appreciate the situation and often tines go out of their way to cause conflict and get their husband to divorce or relinquish any rights to second wife. Sadly i think its usually the second wife that suffers the most because she never gets to experience a family life because of all the stress from the first wife. And is left to run her household as a single parent the very thing she was trying to escape 😢
Please dear sisters, our sisters have many reasons to be a second wife dont feel they are trying to take your place or wrecking your marriage. They are simply looking for a solution within the parameter of Islam. Lets stop and think, ratio of men to women. Dont be a readon for fitna in this life, there is plenty already.
Help our sisters to feel a part of the community and respected as a wife by allowing your husbands to remarry should he wish to.
Yes sister it's not easy think to become second wife and as a first wife, it's a disaster. 90% women doesn't like it. I want to tell women who is ready to become second wife but they don't want to support a man or become his wife who's wife already has past away or a divorci man and man who got children and want a woman to support his children and him. I saw some men they are struggling to live alone without wife and wothiut their children's mother. Woman are ready to become co wife but don't want to support a man who is living without his spouse. I am not saying all women they are like that.
Al hamdulillah the marriage contract :>
Masha Allah sheikh may Allah bless you in jannah Inshallah Ameen
Wanna ask u one thing that if a man marries another woman when he is already married bt the 1st wife is unwilling to accept or not 100% sure that she can be happy seeing them together and even afraid that she can do harm to the 2nd wife ,in that situation what that 1st wife should do??
Some people say 1st wife have to accept the husband 2nd,3rd or 4th wife even if she is unwilling bt the quran says " the best of u are those who are best to their women ". So how can the person be best if he hurts his wife's feelings. Moreover Islam gives women the highest respect and rights compare to any other religion. So tell me that if a women's husband marry another woman and she can't accept that and file for a divorce can she get a divorce 🤔. Bcz I saw in a drama that husband 2nd marriage can't be the reason of a divorce. In that circumstances what can the women do?? If she gets too much suffocated or get jealous by seeing her husband with another woman and also she can 't divorce him she can do suicide or murder the another women🙂. Bcz she can't do anything . So is it her fault that she did murder or suicide ?? She was helpless what she could have done.
And the last thing if a women is too much need of her husband bt the day was for the 2nd wife . So in that situation what should the husband do??
@@ldrago6031 lmao I can also write many conditions in marriage, tht if she shouts one time at me, it is annulled. A simple allowance in the religion does not nessitate it being pushed for EVERYONE to do it, like the liberal simp imams are doing. Polygamous marriages are a sunnah of the prophet. You will be a second wife for eternity in jannah anyways. I thank Allah that He made Houris so I can have as many as I want for pleasing Him. The only one who understands men is our Lord Allah which is why he put polygamy for us and gave us houris in paradise. I thank my Rabb that I guard my chastity for His Sake, as women never try to rationalize polygamy through a man's perspective. Men scientifically have more libido then women, that is why even in the west the richest of men have multiple partners/mistresses.(where monogamy is centralized as the norm)And is good for women as well. Polygamy gives financial security for single women in poorer situations to escape poverty so they are not led to prostitiution. Around 2 million to 4million women are divorced or widowed in Iraq and there is an article on muslim skepetic about thius. They also have some other excellent material on the subject of polygamy. [Warning: I do not agree with everything on the website, ESPECiALLY with some of the khwariji beliefs being propogated by the authors. But they do have good info on liberalism. I do advise not to listen to the authors on islamic matters of aqeedah, but they have good articles on liberalism and feminism(also by female authors)
Men can write those conditions break if she shouts once at her. Whats your point?
Polygamy is a must. I don't see scholar condemning feminism a totally corrupt ideology but I see them trying awkawdly to justify women's reaction. Polygamy is there because Allah decided so. No onr knows better than the one who created.
I say if you are a man marry a second wife without thinking. The untold secret is it will revive your first marriage as well. It's biological
Lol
PoLyGaMy iS a mUsT. Clown alright. PoLyGaMy is only allowed when you have funds, can take care of two women EMOTIONALLY and FINANCIALLY. If you think feminism is corrupt then I guess you're as much corrupt cos what's the difference with feminism hookup culture and you marrying a second/third or thousand without any reason
@hafsaabdirisaaq4368 the difference is both parties are protected with a marriage contract.
I am bit disturbed that the right mentioned is only the one of the husband. Why isn't it called the wife's ? A relationship can only work if both give into it equally.
Yes
This issue is truly tearing me apart. I am trying to get closer to Allah, butas I learn about some of these demands/expectations of men, I get so angry! How can my feelings as a women be so simply dismissed to appease to the lust of a man ?! Something isnt adding up, we went from the deen of Allah, to the deen of MAN.
Polygamy is driven by greed.
Are you Muslim?
Why are you putting down what Allah has allowed?
get help
Not always. This type of generalization should be avoided and polygyny is a legitimate part of shariah
This reckless comment can take you to kufr
Miswar b. Makhramali reported that he heard Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) say, as he sat on the pulpit:
"The sons of Hisham b. Mughira have asked my permission to marry their daughter with 'Ali b. Abi Talib (that refers to the daughter of Abu Jahl for whom 'All had sent a proposal for marriage). But I would not allow them, I would not allow them, I would not allow them (and the only alternative possible is) that 'Ali should divorce my daughter (and then marry their daughter), for my daughter is part of me. He who disturbs her in fact disturbs me and he who offends her offends me." -Sahih Muslim 2449a
Freedom is more important to me then staying with this wife and family I’ve been a slave long enough
Lol
marry a widow, divorced women, women who are aged and single if u r looking for polygamy. they will allow the men to have multiple Wifes .
This is very true, from experience
Yeah but you want your cake and eat it. It doesn't work like that. Just keep marrying divorced women you can't marry young fresh women and expect that she accepts you to marry another one
Marry widows from Palestine, should you have the capacity. May Allah protect our defenseless women and children there.
Alhamdulillah it looks like polygyny is making a comeback
Highly unlikely, not these days
@@purplerain2205 it has to. A lot of sisters are marrying so late now, and some never. Coz it's so hard for them to find single men of substance.
@@Zeczam that's nonsense, you're clueless
@@purplerain2205 if it makes you happy...
@@Zeczam im not marrying older sisters i will marry girls who are young in their prime. age of consent varies but in some european countires it's 14
Can we notice 2 points 1. A women should always be self INDEPENDENT and keep earning, if one day husband shows up with a new wife, she can take divorce easily and not live a oppressed sad life, 2. The male female ratio is 1:1 , so if a man is taking 2and wife, someone is deprived of a wife, which is bad. Let all mean have one wife atleast
Yes she can!
wait did it say she can't?
From my experience a man wants a another women due to wife not making him happy and acts like he don't exist some women put everyone before husband don't support husband emotionally l talking a a righteous man
Happiness must come from inside yourself by being greatful for what you have. Men and women who blame their spouse for their misery will always end up having the same problems with different people cos they don't look at what they r doing to make themselves happy and if they are demanding more than they r giving to their spouse
Sisters before you marry someone you can write to the marriage contact that you don’t allow him to marry other woman.
Some are naive girls and other are manipulated into not writing that. I see divorce in Islam as blessings and I hate how these people make divorce as something like doing shirk or having Zina or other major sins. If halal and accessible to any Muslim who thinks they can benefit from it
Sheikh has given Shubha for women honestly and they love it!!
that's crazy tbh if she threatened divorce
You dont know the situation. So u dont know
She can leave!
If she wants to, she has the right to leave.
@@rose-rv5yz they call it crazy because it's her who wants to divorce!
She actually doesn't have the right to ask for a divorce if her husband remarries unless she stipulates it in their nikkah. Marrying a second wife who is halal and lawful for you is not grounds for divorce.
Sisters watching, by Allah, if your husband is a good man, a man upon his deen, who is good to you, and who fears Allah, who is a good father, pls don’t make it difficult for him to marry again, this is coming from a man my beloved sisters, if he seems like a man who will abuse his rights, then I understand, but if he is a just man, a man of truth, Wallahi it is better for you to be patient, and your reward is from Allah. JazakuAllah khairan.
Sorry, Allah swt who gave us women rights in Islam, to be happy and free from polygamy oppression. Allah said: you can't be just between wives from Quran, so I divorced my husband because of polygamy marriages and now very happy.
He can go and marry whoever he wants but i won't be part of it and I think that's faiir.
Sub'haanAllaah. I'm reading the comments and I'm very disappointed at the state of most of our sisters. What happened to hearing and obeying as soon as ALLAAHU sub'haanahu wa ta'ala legislates something?! All this back and forth arguing and fighting over something Allaah has made lawful for men. Sub'haanAllaah. Fear Allaah all of you. Who are you to come and object to the legislations of Allaah after He has allowed it?! Fear Allaah and keep your emotions aside. Ultimately what matters is who has attained Allaah's love and is admitted to al-Firdous al-a'laa
Allah has allowed multiple marriages ..no woman disagrees ..and let's not compare men of today to the best and most favoured by Allah. As of now , society is deteriorating and homes are breaking because couples cope with every day life and struggle to meet their required marriage duties. Most married people are usually unhappy due to either partner not being fully committed. Hence the constant divorces and infidelities. Yes men are ALLOWED or GIVEN A CHOICE, but it does not mean he ll go to hell if he stays with his one wife and children. Most women want to build their own nests and it's natural to feel abandoned if her husband has little time for her and wants more wives. Saying its Sunnah or Allah has given permission is correct and very few men can ever have a normal polygamous relationship today. Please regard the safety of women and their families. And there a thousands of older widowed or divorced men who might and can get married and proted divorced and widowed women they should marry..and help protect women
@@deadpoolstrikesagain3914 and the women of today aren't good to compared to back then. what's your point?
Nobody has objected to it from what I’ve seen so far. Men can do it. But women don’t have to.
Brother u r short sighted. The world has become dangerous and people don't live in villages anymore. It becomes unsafe to leave a woman alone at home and to leave children without a father's daily discipline and guidance. Many brothers think women get to have a day off when they go to second wife but they don't think of the kids. She still has to cook and clean for the kids and she must also help them with homework while he is enjoying himself.
Marrying is permissible, but match wisely, don't infringe on people who can't stand such arrangements. I personally can't stand that three/foursome lifestyle.
What does crap like that have to to do with God?
In Islam, Allah makes clear the rights of the men and women, so these matters are important to clarify, afterall we Muslims live according to what Allah has commanded, and that's the only way you can give justice and attain happiness, to abide by the rules Allah has set, not by what humans think is right.
Everything has to do with God, from simple daily actions to ruling a country
@Statix Fall @Reheema PL I doubt God ever said such things. I don't see any form of higher morality in those rules. These are rules made up to satisfy men's carnal desires. Isn't spirituality about rising above these base desires to become better? What purpose does it serve to have a so-called divine rule that allows for men to have more than 1 wife if not a mere pretext to justify promiscuity and the selfish pleasure of the flesh? How would a man care emotionally for all these women? How can you give your all to several people simultaneous? That's not from God, I am sure of it.
@@delpthepath127 @Dell Beauge This isn't imposed upon us Muslims, a man cannot force a 2nd or 3rd woman to be his wife, it is her choice, so where is the evil in this? As for not being able to give their rights emotionally, Allah says in the Qur'an, in Surah Nisa verse 3, to only marry one if you cannot give the rights of more than one, emotionally and financially, *and the Qur'an is the only religious book that says "marry only one", such a thing isn't mentioned in the bible, book of the jews nor in the Hindu scriptures, which is a fact*. Adultery/ fornication/watching porn etc, all of these are major sins in Islam, which so many fall into, yet they want to pick at this ruling in Islam that gives rights to women with their agreement, helping prevent many of these cases. As for the true Wisdom behind this, Allah knows best, ultimately we are certain that the Qur'an is the speech of God, with there being evidence upon evidence within the Qur'an itself, so just because you don't understand a certain wisdom, it doesn't mean it's not from Allah. Btw in the old testament it is said prophet Solomon had 700 wives and Abraham had 3 wives, same as the new testament saying you should follow the old testament, in other words you can marry as many wives as you want, it was only later on that the church put a restriction saying you can marry one, same with other religions, only after many many years do they put a restriction, in this case this isn't from God but from a human. The scriptures put no restrictions, only the Qur'an does.
@@delpthepath127 m.th-cam.com/video/axOIgrL4M_s/w-d-xo.html --> this video gives a more thorough explanation, hope you take time out to watch it, rather short, lol I'll say ignore what I typed above and just watch the video, saves time.
4:3
وَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ أَلَّا تُقْسِطُوا۟ فِى ٱلْيَتَـٰمَىٰ فَٱنكِحُوا۟ مَا طَابَ لَكُم مِّنَ ٱلنِّسَآءِ مَثْنَىٰ وَثُلَـٰثَ وَرُبَـٰعَ ۖ فَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ أَلَّا تَعْدِلُوا۟ فَوَٰحِدَةً أَوْ مَا مَلَكَتْ أَيْمَـٰنُكُمْ ۚ ذَٰلِكَ أَدْنَىٰٓ أَلَّا تَعُولُوا۟ ٣
If you fear you might fail to give orphan women their ˹due˺ rights ˹if you were to marry them˺, then marry other women of your choice-two, three, or four. But if you are afraid you will fail to maintain justice, then ˹content yourselves with˺ one or those ˹bondwomen˺ in your possession. This way you are less likely to commit injustice.
- Dr. Mustafa Khattab, the Clear Quran
Wa aleykoumoussalam wa rahmatullahi wa barakaatuhu
Honestly who are these women willing to be a second wife? Why they want a divided man? Why they want to sign up for misery and causing other family misery too
Most polygynous couples are happy, women's unchecked outbursts are the culprit to most of their problems
@@Halal_Danwho said so? The problem lies in mens lust. If only they could keep that in check the world would have been a much happier place. Imagine the amount of cheating and ntr that would have vanished
Itaqullah sister. Research it. Allah knows us more than we know ourselves.
Jazaka Allah khair
Jazak Allahoe ghair
well.. sometimes, i feel quite good with polygamy being said or put as something men can do, cuz from it i can recognize the way this men behave or how their mind work on this topic for myself personally, from their point of view on it, i see how some has a bit care abt someone feeling and some just keep saying its halal and dismiss the feeling that is there directly and doesnt seem to a bit considering in their speech on how the women said, its hurting her (i know its halal and who am i to judge God rules) so i just pinpoint the behavior and the act on some humans. As example, a prophet himself marrying another of his wives after mother Khadija has passed away showed how much he truly love her and we can feel it in his story that makes me think and feel, with the prophet personality, i wouldn't mind him marrying up to 10 tbh, we can feel his pure and sincere intention. This also helps me looking at who is the best of their women as its mentioned, the best of u is the best to their women. Another is, so if u dont even show a bit emotional side on why it hurt women so much rather than telling its halal, so... hurm nvm, yes its halal but its matter of phycological approach which is u showed me, u cared abt my feeling enough to make me think that u actlly qualified to hv more than one wife (example). I also sees this rule abt letting men to hv more wife is as part of a test and its just like telling u, lets see, what will u do if its halal lol (this just my joke haha). Overall, im ok with polygamy and i dont blame other if they dont want it cuz its sunnah, not a must.
Polygamy is a solution to many problems in society.
I don't know why we still argue over it. It has been decided by Allah (swt) and His Prophet (saw). Who are we to question them?
Anyway, I get why women would not want polygamy. Even the Prophets wives became jealous and at times reacted irrationally.
However, these Muslim women were more about the deen and not greed or nafs. That is why they were overall happy with being co-wives.
Overall happy does not mean they were absolutely happy with everything. Just overall they were content. Which is natural with anything even in a good stable marriage... you'd be content overall, but little things you may not like.
Anyway, I don't understand how the Ulema can think it is okay to write in a contract that a husband cannot take a second wife. This is like saying: Allah wrote in His book that you should choose two's, threes or fours, but I am writing in a marriage contract that you cannot listen to this advice that our Creator has written in the Quran.
Wallahi that sounds similar to Kufr. Imagine, giving a free pass and banning people from following parts of the Quran. Madness.
@@ldrago6031 I wish you were right as you are passionate. Bold of you to assume I have no knowledge. Lol! Alhamdulillah thats fine i expect that from the internet.
Not only is your Islamic knowedge off. Your English is also a little off the mark because I do not see anywhere where I have done takfir. Lol
Anyway, have an amazing day. May Allah guide us all. Ameen
It can also cause some of the same problems when it's not done right with taqwa
It's not the sheikh. All 4 madhabs agree on it afaik. A person has the right to decide what kind of marriage life they want to have. During umar ra.'s time, women would give conditions regarding not travelling. A woman can put conditions for monthly allowances, job, education and such, even though in normal situation, a guy doesn't have to allow that. Similarly, a man can give the condition that his mother will live with them, that is also allowed even though housing is one of the basic rights of the woman.
@@zara-he3jh Salam, in regards to writing that husband should not take a second wife in nikah contract, that is only valid in the Hanbali madhab. Not in any other madhab.
@@taichoudhury Wa'alaikum assalam. My bad, it's not all madhabs but majority of the scholars. The view of this being not permissible is weak since there is also proof from umar ra. Nevertheless, a woman can still get the power to take divorce, polygamy or not.
If a woman can write in the contract something that strips the man of his rights, granted it's his decision to agree or not, and that this is something Islamically valid, then on that same note, can the man do the same thing to a woman? Let's say he wants to marry a working woman who at the time doesn't realize the benefit of taking her right to be financially provided for by her husband, so her husband to be puts in the contract that he will not be paying for her, and she signs it...this is okay? Please clarify ustadh Tim Humble. JazakAllah khair
Im not sure about other stipulation but I do know that man must provide for the family. It’s an obligation so you can’t stipulate that you won’t provide for her. Because it’s a sin to neglect your wives & not provide. It’s like a wife stipulating that she doesn’t have to obey her husband.
However the stipulation may have to be specific in the terms that it’s only valid while she is working as in if she isn’t working the term doesn’t applied. Since the reason men can marry multiple wives, inherit more than women, the leaders of women, don’t have a wali all comes done to being a provider.
“Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means”
[an-Nisa’ 4:34]
You are comparing a fard (man providing for his wife) to a sunnah that does not need to be followed (multiple wives). If the man stipulates that he will not provide for his wife then essentially there is no point in the marriage. What does the wife gain from being married and providing for herself vs being single and providing for herself? The man doesn’t need more wives but the woman needs the man to provide even if she is working.
Yes it’s ok but she can always go back on it later just as he can still marry a second wife. But in each case, the other spouse can divorce.
Any condition agreed upon before marriage must be fulfilled by the spouses. As far as I know, the husband would not need to provide for her in this case
@@hakunamatata3935 He would still need to unless they specify in the contract that he won’t. Or doesn’t have to.