My ex started going out with her former fwb, and spent 4-5 evenings per week on coffee dates with him... She was spending more time with him than she was with me (her boyfriend). She said they were just friends now (no longer fwbs) and I was acting controlling... I felt like I was being disrespected, and she wouldn't even listen to how this was making me feel... I ended up blowing up, and ending the relationship... instantly, I regretted ending it, and I did tell her that... she said she needed time to think, and about 3 days later, she told me she had a talk with her former fwb and they decided to start a relationship now. So as far as I know they're still together (about a month now)... Was I blowing the fwb thing out of proportion? Was I actually acting controlling in that situation? If the roles were reversed, I would never prioritize a former fwb over a current girlfriend.
You did that right thing. She was totally being disrespectful and for her to start a relationship with him so quick says it was already on her mind. You deserve better.
thats good to hear i signed up for connect and commit also yesterday. i’m pretty sure my ex is going back in the stages and i feel like he is trying to move on like when we first broke up 😔
My ex is dating someone new and i was in no contact then i got an angry text about how i hurt him in the past and then he ended the conversation pretty fast and that was it. He said he’s doing better now. Why would he even text me idk what this means?
20 year marriage 8 months in divorce and 1 month until the final i need to fix this i have no time and have broke every rule i didn't give her space but she had about the initial 2 months we slept with each other in the back of my car she talks about reconcile but then ghosts me every time we make foot forward. I need your help brother 🙏
My ex reached out today after 4 days of no contact from my side. She brought up a song that we bonded and asked if remembered it. Then went on about a few memories we shared with the song.. I don't know what this means..
My ex texted saying "You were such a fucking asshole to me. I can't believe I put up with that." oh, hey! nice to hear from you! I ended up sucking up all the responsibility yet again, and felt really hurt by him, he just carried on being hurtful... meh
Hi Clay - what if we have built up that emotional reconnection. Yet I keep being told I need to be patient but they are happy with how we've been communicating. The other problem is that my therapist makes me feel like im hurting myself by trying to keep the friendship when I dont get much in return. what do you think?
Hi Nadia, there is nothing wrong building the emotional connection with the person. As long as we are detached to any form of outcome and is in acceptance of what they are offer for now. Have you also tried setting a healthy boundaries given that both of you are not in a relationship yet?
@@ClayAndrews Hi clay thank you so much for your response. They got into a rebound immediately. We were together for 15 years and now have been broken up for 1 year. But when we talk and share memories of all the things we miss. And how how much we miss each other and how we can’t go on without one another in our lives. But I seem to be the one always initiating conversations. And always told to be patient when we’ve been talking for the last 6 months.
What does it mean when my ex boyfriend wants to meet up come see me and want to take things slow with us while he is in a rebound relationship???? Honestly He been wanted to get back together but I wasn’t ready to be back together in a relationship at the time We have been together for 11+years and our families know each other very well and they still talk to each other
It sounds like your ex is at the Riding the Dragon phase. It is best to continue focusing on having positive connection with him and remove the rebound in the equation. Taking things slow is a process in which an individual is trying to weigh things and gaining their confidence back in the relationship. It is to give them an assurance that they won't be going back to the old dynamics of the relationship.
left him alone for a year... in a long distance relationship breakup. went into no contact after he had the last say. I did not do anything and agreed. I only broke no contact once this New Years and he only replied in kindness, wishing me all the best. what do I do at this point since it has been 2 months after breaking no contact. He who has unfollowed me for a while now and I have not done anything to hinder this space but work on myself still. do you think it's time to sending an accountability to inspire a possibility to reestablish connecting? this is so hard. Please advise
he said he wanted me back but I rejected him, because I was in pain. But now when my mind is more at ease I realise I want to give him another change. should I say this to him?
i would like to ask what does it mean if my exgirlfriend do the things that she hates i do when we are still in relationship? She ignores and blocked me everywhere for more than 3months already.
Clay could you make a video talking about a particular situation on how to bring up your Exes rebound relationship they left you for if it's necessary to talk about them to connect better. I'm kinda stuck on how to bring up the subject.
so i’m in no contact now. going to do this for at least a month maybe 2. I messaged u before about how she was too busy basically and that’s her reason for us breaking up. I realize where i need to improve in relationships in general(more spontaneous, plan dates better, initiate sex more). If we do meet up in a month or 2 how do i go about showing that i’ve improved in these areas?
HI Andrew, authentic change and improvement will definitely show up naturally. Because it became your second nature. Your changes will be noticed as it shows without an effort with how you bring yourself in the situation and the way you interact with the person, especially on the consistency of the changes that you have done for your self as well. Remember, change because you wanted to become a better person as much as you are doing these changes to have your ex back. :-)
The letter at the beginning (of course we don't know the why or much else) but: Someone is actually engaged yet they "ghost" the person they asked to marry them?? That type of behavior - especially once you've went as far as to be engaged is a HUGE red flag to SLOW DOWN - not race to the alter! 🙄 I swear there needs to be more requirements to meet to be allowed to get legally married - starting with psychological testing. That marriage is doomed.
So does this apply to a situation of 2 years seperation, almost 18 months of no contact, blocked, him 'moving on' to a new relationship???..... is he going to send these texts??🤔🤔 Pls dont just like my comment, a response to my question would b much more helpful...thx!!
Hi Emma, since we are teaching life skills, these are applicable to any type of situations. Though we cannot tell whether he would send you a text or not but will you be emotionally ready to reach out to him to gauge where he is at emotionally instead of waiting for him to initiate?
He still won’t text me but he’s talking more and more to me in person (we work together). He hasn’t opened up with his feelings though. Mostly just normal conversation but I know we are both feeling a strong connection from the way we talk, look at each other, the vibe I feel must be felt by him too, his actions communicate his heart . But in my mind sometimes I can’t help daydreaming in the middle of talking to him, I just become speechless and I’m afraid he might think I’m not interested but I’m really in shock that all this is REALLY happening after over two years of wanting him back
Ask her if she has a chicken coop..... She will reply... Then tell her maybe she should consider it since you've gotta walk on eggshells so often When she texts you BS & angry Drama Answer with: I'll consider what you said. You know, It would be nice if she would make you a sandwhich !
I think what happened in the run-up to the breakup and how they decided to end your relationship dictates what if anything you do if and when they reach out. I would not entertain any communication to the person that treated you like dirt and moved on right away , they were probably cheating on you and ultimately some women treat men like a cheap snack wrapper......
After a month of no contact my ex msg me last 3 days saying "im sori for everything" and i juz respond her 👍and 33 ❤ on our pic and its 2015 pics... m not angry to her it juz for how many times she dump me and the last time she did i did the no contact... are 👍 response is ok 😅😅
@clay andrews my ex and I have been split up for 6 years we have kids together so we are in contact we argue a lot because anger and resentment we were together 10 years the last 3 being toxic and draining I recently realized how much I genuinely love and miss her we’ve been talking to each other better but she says she doesn’t see herself moving backwards yet when I ask if she still loves me and has feelings for me she completely ignores the question what does that mean what should I do???
It hit me some times god wants you too be alone too heal yourself bring out the better version of you and growth
Relationships can make or pain you. Ugh. Hate it cause one person is always more invested.
A like and comment because the physical workaround was funny.
Yeah. I was married for 16 years. We have 5 children. The only time she contacts me now is to remind me to send money for child support
My ex-girlfriend ask for her key back but never came to get it after a week of her not coming to get it so I mailed it to her
Good
She is sending me several angry texts im in nc. She is starting to feel the pain.
Savage 😊
I’d rather just stay single! Women are too difficult
Amen
True
Bingo…sadly
My ex started going out with her former fwb, and spent 4-5 evenings per week on coffee dates with him... She was spending more time with him than she was with me (her boyfriend). She said they were just friends now (no longer fwbs) and I was acting controlling... I felt like I was being disrespected, and she wouldn't even listen to how this was making me feel... I ended up blowing up, and ending the relationship... instantly, I regretted ending it, and I did tell her that... she said she needed time to think, and about 3 days later, she told me she had a talk with her former fwb and they decided to start a relationship now. So as far as I know they're still together (about a month now)... Was I blowing the fwb thing out of proportion? Was I actually acting controlling in that situation? If the roles were reversed, I would never prioritize a former fwb over a current girlfriend.
Dude you dodged a bullet, you did nothing wrong , I would of ended it after the first meet up with her former fwb lol
You did that right thing. She was totally being disrespectful and for her to start a relationship with him so quick says it was already on her mind. You deserve better.
She already was cheating let her go. They lie.
Great channel 😊❤ i like your vibes!! 🎉
This was AWESOME advice!! Wow! You nailed it. Love your videos Clay!
thats good to hear i signed up for connect and commit also yesterday. i’m pretty sure my ex is going back in the stages and i feel like he is trying to move on like when we first broke up 😔
Welcome to our short course, Ari. :-)
I’d be happy just to get a “hey” let alone anything else. Not a chance though 🤷🏻♂️
I feel you...
Go Clay!!
My ex is dating someone new and i was in no contact then i got an angry text about how i hurt him in the past and then he ended the conversation pretty fast and that was it. He said he’s doing better now. Why would he even text me idk what this means?
He just wants you and is mad he can't have you. Date someone, see what he says
Sounds like he still likes you or why would he tell u that?
spent the weekend drunk talking to each other about how we miss us 😔
Thanks Clay....great video
Glad you enjoyed it :-)
This is gold, Thanks Clay.!!!!
ur vidz are sooo wise
20 year marriage 8 months in divorce and 1 month until the final i need to fix this i have no time and have broke every rule i didn't give her space but she had about the initial 2 months we slept with each other in the back of my car she talks about reconcile but then ghosts me every time we make foot forward. I need your help brother 🙏
My ex reached out today after 4 days of no contact from my side. She brought up a song that we bonded and asked if remembered it. Then went on about a few memories we shared with the song.. I don't know what this means..
Ask to meet up
My ex texted saying "You were such a fucking asshole to me. I can't believe I put up with that." oh, hey! nice to hear from you! I ended up sucking up all the responsibility yet again, and felt really hurt by him, he just carried on being hurtful... meh
Hi Clay - what if we have built up that emotional reconnection. Yet I keep being told I need to be patient but they are happy with how we've been communicating. The other problem is that my therapist makes me feel like im hurting myself by trying to keep the friendship when I dont get much in return. what do you think?
Hi Nadia, there is nothing wrong building the emotional connection with the person. As long as we are detached to any form of outcome and is in acceptance of what they are offer for now. Have you also tried setting a healthy boundaries given that both of you are not in a relationship yet?
@@ClayAndrews Hi clay thank you so much for your response. They got into a rebound immediately. We were together for 15 years and now have been broken up for 1 year. But when we talk and share memories of all the things we miss. And how how much we miss each other and how we can’t go on without one another in our lives. But I seem to be the one always initiating conversations. And always told to be patient when we’ve been talking for the last 6 months.
@nhamdan86 Keep your expectations realistic, and you won't get hurt.
What does it mean when my ex boyfriend wants to meet up come see me and want to take things slow with us while he is in a rebound relationship???? Honestly He been wanted to get back together but I wasn’t ready to be back together in a relationship at the time We have been together for 11+years and our families know each other very well and they still talk to each other
It sounds like your ex is at the Riding the Dragon phase. It is best to continue focusing on having positive connection with him and remove the rebound in the equation. Taking things slow is a process in which an individual is trying to weigh things and gaining their confidence back in the relationship. It is to give them an assurance that they won't be going back to the old dynamics of the relationship.
NO- DON'T TELL THEM THAT THEY ARE RIGHT. TELL EM "YOU COULD BE RIGHT"
left him alone for a year...
in a long distance relationship breakup. went into no contact after he had the last say. I did not do anything and agreed. I only broke no contact once this New Years and he only replied in kindness, wishing me all the best. what do I do at this point since it has been 2 months after breaking no contact. He who has unfollowed me for a while now and I have not done anything to hinder this space but work on myself still. do you think it's time to sending an accountability to inspire a possibility to reestablish connecting? this is so hard. Please advise
What if he sends I Miss You?
thats what i did
he said he wanted me back but I rejected him, because I was in pain. But now when my mind is more at ease I realise I want to give him another change. should I say this to him?
Sure
What about the “are you happy” text
No mind games ? Wow ! Is there such a thing ?
i would like to ask what does it mean if my exgirlfriend do the things that she hates i do when we are still in relationship? She ignores and blocked me everywhere for more than 3months already.
Clay could you make a video talking about a particular situation on how to bring up your Exes rebound relationship they left you for if it's necessary to talk about them to connect better. I'm kinda stuck on how to bring up the subject.
Hi Kosta, the question is, will you be emotionally ready to talk about your ex's rebound?
I understand the concern, I can be and have to otherwise it keeps picking at my mind if I don't.
@@ClayAndrews how do you get emotionally ready / I have similar situation but not sure to ignore rebound or explore with him ???
so i’m in no contact now. going to do this for at least a month maybe 2. I messaged u before about how she was too busy basically and that’s her reason for us breaking up. I realize where i need to improve in relationships in general(more spontaneous, plan dates better, initiate sex more). If we do meet up in a month or 2 how do i go about showing that i’ve improved in these areas?
HI Andrew, authentic change and improvement will definitely show up naturally. Because it became your second nature. Your changes will be noticed as it shows without an effort with how you bring yourself in the situation and the way you interact with the person, especially on the consistency of the changes that you have done for your self as well. Remember, change because you wanted to become a better person as much as you are doing these changes to have your ex back. :-)
The letter at the beginning (of course we don't know the why or much else) but: Someone is actually engaged yet they "ghost" the person they asked to marry them?? That type of behavior - especially once you've went as far as to be engaged is a HUGE red flag to SLOW DOWN - not race to the alter! 🙄 I swear there needs to be more requirements to meet to be allowed to get legally married - starting with psychological testing. That marriage is doomed.
Ex messaged me last night about our child then “
how about this one out of nowhere - "would it be possible for us to talk sometime" No hi or hey how are you
So does this apply to a situation of 2 years seperation, almost 18 months of no contact, blocked, him 'moving on' to a new relationship???..... is he going to send these texts??🤔🤔
Pls dont just like my comment, a response to my question would b much more helpful...thx!!
Hi Emma, since we are teaching life skills, these are applicable to any type of situations. Though we cannot tell whether he would send you a text or not but will you be emotionally ready to reach out to him to gauge where he is at emotionally instead of waiting for him to initiate?
He still won’t text me but he’s talking more and more to me in person (we work together). He hasn’t opened up with his feelings though. Mostly just normal conversation but I know we are both feeling a strong connection from the way we talk, look at each other, the vibe I feel must be felt by him too, his actions communicate his heart .
But in my mind sometimes I can’t help daydreaming in the middle of talking to him, I just become speechless and I’m afraid he might think I’m not interested but I’m really in shock that all this is REALLY happening after over two years of wanting him back
After 3 months he sent me a funny short video, then I replied with a laugh emoji, was that ok
Haha my ex hasn't reached out to me at all.
Wow. Words to describe physical activities considered naughty. At the same time, how much violence is there on the tele again?
@3:25 building investment
Ask her if she has a chicken coop.....
She will reply...
Then tell her maybe she should consider it since you've gotta walk on eggshells so often
When she texts you BS & angry Drama
Answer with:
I'll consider what you said. You know, It would be nice if she would make you a sandwhich !
@4:25 when she gets angry and sends a text
Clay when should i Replay. On that "how are you". Maybe the next Day? I am not sure. Thanks
I think what happened in the run-up to the breakup and how they decided to end your relationship dictates what if anything you do if and when they reach out. I would not entertain any communication to the person that treated you like dirt and moved on right away , they were probably cheating on you and ultimately some women treat men like a cheap snack wrapper......
After a month of no contact my ex msg me last 3 days saying "im sori for everything" and i juz respond her 👍and 33 ❤ on our pic and its 2015 pics... m not angry to her it juz for how many times she dump me and the last time she did i did the no contact... are 👍 response is ok 😅😅
@clay andrews my ex and I have been split up for 6 years we have kids together so we are in contact we argue a lot because anger and resentment we were together 10 years the last 3 being toxic and draining I recently realized how much I genuinely love and miss her we’ve been talking to each other better but she says she doesn’t see herself moving backwards yet when I ask if she still loves me and has feelings for me she completely ignores the question what does that mean what should I do???
That means no says nothing when you asl that she doesn't love you
Move on, stay strong, and carry on