So, what IS early? A female cousin in my family had a son, and her mother demanded that she be awarded custody of the baby. Before judges and attorneys were brought in, my cousin decided that letting her mother raise the baby had several built-in advantages!! So it worked out for mother and daughter, BUT ... When the child was five, Mommy got herself knocked up again, and she and the guy decided to get married. And she drove straight over to her Mom's house to pick up her little boy, and Grandma had never pursued her legal options! As it happened, the kid was terrified to be taken by a woman he scarcely knew. Almost immediately, he was paralyzed with fear about his new life - a new "Mommy," a new, and as it turned out, worthless stepfather, a new house in a very poor neighborhood ... and worst of all, his new "Mommy" wanted to break off all communication between the boy and his loving grandmother. As time passed, he withdrew from life more and more. At the age of twelve, he stole $50.00 from his step-grandmother, dropped out of high school at sixteen, went to a Juvenile Prison for two years, and after that, he became a repeat offender. He is imprisoned right now! In hindsight, his bio Mom was obviously a Borderline personality. In fact, her mother had been moved to call Child Protective Services and ask them to please check into the situation. Several more times in the next few years, also! But the bio mom was both devious and smart, and she could have won an Oscar for her performance. When someone did drive out to see him, the mom would change into the type of mother you would see on shows like "Little House on the Prairie," "Leave it to Beaver," etc.. oh, she would tell the agent, I was just about to bake homemade cookies! And the agent thought she was a normal mother. When really, she was an extreme case of Borderline Personality, or BPD. And both the mother and the step-dad had violent arguments. It was not unusual for neighbors to call the police on them at least two or three times a month! The step-dad didn't really work, but stayed at home, playing video games. The couple, plus this little boy, and the baby they had together had all lived in the step-grandmother's home from the day of the "wedding!" (Rent free.) The younger child came to the older boy's bio grandmother, and confided that his daddy kind of bailed out through all the video games, and virtually had no interest in him or anything going on in his little life. He confided this to his maternal grandmother at the age of ten. At the age of sixteen, he rode the school bus home one day, went into his bedroom, and suffered a FATAL heart attack. He was dead by the time the ambulance arrived. The older brother started feeling as though HE caused the heart attack, tried to shoplift one day, and was sentenced to three years in prison. Throughout all of this, his mother used her younger son's death to get sympathy and solace for herself. I'm not sure about what these dysfunctional family members got up to after that. But the boys' mother was sued for divorce, then took off with her older son - who had to serve out all the prison sentences he was given. The mother never admitted she had EVER been anything other than a GOOD, LOVING wife and mother to her small "family." She had lived with a small number of boyfriends and/or husband's, but every new relationship failed after a short time! Finally, with her oldest son in prison again for breaking into a car, trying to steal the sound system. When the police came out, he tried to beat one of them up and got a new, seven-year sentence. Meanwhile, his mom was hanging out at low-class bars and occasionally picking up men. This woman appears to be easy-going and fun-loving at the beginning of each new relationship. And even after she was up in her forties, looked like a blonde, blue-eyed high school cheerleader! So it was pretty easy for the naive men to fall for her! Finally, she found a guy who eventually invited her into his home. They would constantly argue and fight, he would toss her out, then take her back every few months or so. I always kept in close touch with her mother because I could tell the daughter had problems, and I was worried about her kids. (Although I wasn't able to really make a difference to any of them!) Thankfully, I believe certain others in their family have sort of come together to provide encouraging stability for him once he is released. These God-awful family situations are common, truth be told. Major life tragedies which just go on and on until everyone seems to be under severe pressure due to the family dynamic. Oh, by the way, this Mom's first husband was a violent Narcissist, and did not like his daughter very well at all. But I have decided that together they make up a complete "dark triad" consisting of one Borderline, one extreme Narcissist, and one Anti-Social personality. I count myself lucky to have lived a separate life and a few hundred miles away all those years. But I felt a lot of sympathy toward the boys and their maternal grandmother, who has regularly kept me abreast of the whole, horrible, dysfunctional mess through the years. I thank God for not having to live any closer to them, because I'm certain that the boys' mother would have tried to get me involved in her tragic life! I don't believe I would have escaped with my sanity had that happened!!!
@@nancyayers6355 What a tragic mess....So sorry this has unfolded in your family. Tales like this are much more common than people realize. Agencies usually start out using kinship resources to provide "safe" homes for threatened children, but too often the family system has enough toxicity running throughout it that anyone willing to be involved is realistically not someone appropriate to be involved! (My son's caseworker approached 29 biological family members, all of whom refused to take on caring for him and his siblings, before the sicker family members who wanted the kids finally made the mess bad enough to cause their removal to foster care outside the kinship circle. Which has been a painful loss in its own way.) The road of mental illness and emotional disturbance is not for the faint of heart! Good for you for standing by your family -- from a safe & sane distance!
As someone who has worked in childcare for 6 years, I firmly believe parents should be wary. Teachers act out their own traumas unconsciously and regularly. These industries are designed to allow this. They generally have no recognition of these constructs and many centers are dishonest at there core. It's not just parents hurting young children. Schools should be accountable as well. Sometimes, parents with unresolved issues and teachers with unresolved issues will essentially gang up on a child together. I think we need more dialogue on these problems.
I was verbally and emotionally abused mainly by my teacher's, especially the principal (she was an androphobic, homophobic feminazi, and whenever I seeked help because I was being constantly bullied, pranked and assaulted by my peers, she would justify them telling me that it was because of how much of a sissy I was), they would sermon me about being a man (I was 11), and they would stick their long nails on my arm, and tell to stop being such an annoying, crying pussy. Now I'm quite conflicted whenever I encounter women that reassemble the fake-nice, patronizing, condescending attitude of elementary school teachers, I don't want to be a misogynist, I hate misogynists, like the ones who mistreated my mom and my female friends right in front of me when I was a child, but I have this resentful animosity towards this type of women, and I also have severe Cluster B Personality traits ( ALL OF THE CLUSTER B, Antisocial unlawful behavior, deceitfulness and substance not to long ago, Narcissistic entitlement, arrogance, self-obsession, egocentric machiavellianism and the deliberate manipulation, Borderline conflicting self image, idealization-devaluation cycle, dayly emotional rollercoaster, between feeling extremely depressed, remorseful, angry, grieved and suicidal, and feeling good, joyful, loving, loved and hopeful, Histrionic dramatic expressions of emotion and performative behaviors to draw attention to me in social situations, and feeling extremely frustrated, anxious, sad and angry when I stop being the attention center, I just can't f*ck!ng stand not being the star of the show!, I know it's f*cked-up, but I feel actually suicidally sad and worthless if I'm not paid attention to during a reunion, or party, or just any gathering of people), wow, Holy sh!t, that was a LOOOONG freaking parentheses!, Well, I'm TRYING to manage the f***ed-up behaviors ( especially the antisocial ones, even though the destructive angst isn't going away any time soon). Hope you will achieve some justice for all the kids who get screwed by their teachers.
@@JDdr86 I'm sure that must have been very painful and scary to go through. I'm so sorry to hear it, but thank you for sharing. I will keep you in my prayers. God bless you, my friend. 🙏😊
“Poor parenting takes a disastrous toll” 😞 That’s spot on Dr G, I don’t know why basic parenting and attachment isn’t taught in high school. This information would help future parents to be and also, it helps those of us who were neglected or abused understand in some way what went wrong, why we suffered and why we still suffer as adults, coming to terms with childhood abuses 🥺 On a much happier note - you’re nearly at 200K subscribers, yay for you and your fabulous work! 🎉 Thank you so much for helping me and many others, make sense of their experiences, behaviours, beliefs and patterns of thinking 💭 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
Completely agreed. We are missing the boat as a culture by not recognizing the impact of attachment, and, even worse, by reducing it to an absurd little theory of building blocks and categories. I'm working to remedy this through therapeutic consulting work....🙏 appreciated!
Bad parenting actual has a resulted consequencial name. It's called aspergers disease. It's far more politically correct and accepted vs telling the parents they did a bad job.
@@patricialongo5746 the same way you can explain two parents with brown eyes having a child with blue eyes. It’s not the most likely outcome but it’s possible.
Bohemian Goddess I agree it’s sad that people who have degrees in the field are able to treat people so bad knowing how vulnerable they are. Like they aren’t children who might not yet know how messed up it is.
It amazes me how you can fit in so much detailed information and deliver it so well in just about 15 min. This video was very informative, thank you Dr. Grande!
Dr. Grande, I love the end of the video where you touch on parenting and how much of an impact we have on our children. In our country, parents lack a lot of guidance and we oftentimes lack a sense of community. That is a great point.
raised a step son headed this direction according to counselors. he's an adult and had the right counseling to divert this. it takes the right counseling and persistence to stop this before it gets out of hand. I did not realize some of the reasons why he had started to develop this issue. this explained a whole lot to me. now I see why counselors told me that I saved his life. wow. good video
@@gstrathmore194 many years of banging my head against the wall to get him help but found a place in Indianapolis for ADHD intensive counseling that stopped the bad behaviors and then follow up counseling in Iowa. Not sure of a specific counseling but the good doc would often say they were having a "come to Jesus" meeting at that session...meaning, he was going to call him on his bad behaviors. It took 4 yrs of this but honestly, the results were well worth it.
@@tuck-brainwks-eutent-hidva1098 I agree with you. I am by nature very persistence if it's a good thing and I realize that one has to be consistent and persistent to manage some of these behavior/mental illnesses or the battle will be lost.
G Strathmore CBT is beneficial. They don’t see consequences like everyone else, so anything that will teach them mindfulness and mitigate impulsivity will hell. But Connie is right, it takes YEARS.
I've always loved learning about psychology and your channel is a goldmine. Thank you for your efforts. I became interested in psychology because of how dysfunctional my family is. I tried so many times to explain to my father that my brothers' failures despite their intelligence is a result of him abandoning us at an early age. There was always antagonistic behavior among my brothers and my father was never there to stop it. It made our home feel a whole lot more insecure. It felt like there's an unspoken anger towards my father for abandoning us, to make matters worse, he would lie to avoid giving us money whenever we needed him and he would always travel around with his new wife and their kids. I asked him once why he had left my mother and he said because she wasn't well educated, so I asked then why did you have 9 children with her, he said it wasn't his fault because he only wanted 2. It always bothered me that he found it easy to leave us, but he never left his wife even though they ended up with mutual hate till he died.
@E k he was an abusive person when we were young, so life would have been horrible with him around, but he changed as he got older. He became kinder to us and our kids. But it wasn't enough because the damage was done and some of us never forgave him.
A young girl close to me is suffering from ASPD, nevertheless at times she stops splitting, her true an unabashed self comes forward; compassionate, loving helpful: I cherish those moments reinforcing with honest compliments each and everyone of her rightful behaviours. One cannot emphasize enough the importance of reassuring with love a split and harmful personality when they are doing the right thing. A warmest world of gratitude to you Todd, for with wisdom and knowledge honouring the continuum of a personality disorder with its plight the way it deserves. The higher risk for premature death alone indicates that these individuals are indeed not the happier of us. Patience, integrity and understanding.
@@panda-vy9ii There's not a snowball's chance in hell anybody can want something from me when I'm unwilling! YOU want from me not to stand by standards! Sorry - They're high! Luke 6:37 "Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven."
It’s a very unpleasant thing to suffer from. Believe me. Once you understand it and, how you can own it and control it, then the suffering slows then stops for yourself and those who love you. Left unchecked and things will go extremely bad. It’s impossible to find the words for the filth, I’ve created, I didn’t know it was wrong, now I try to see myself though others perspective’s. I dare not let the beast out again. Now everything and everyone is something I fear. It’s gone full cycle. Thank you for not portraying aspd people as monsters. I’m sure you benefit many people, greatly.
Really sucks, I have to act like someone else and avoid getting in relationships because it always ends the same way. Who I am is simply a filthy liar, a cheater, a lazy bastard. I have no real opinions, i simply adapt to whoever im with. Im basically nobody. The only little part of me that is me is filthy. I know this yet... I dont really "care". I never think that what happens in my relationships is my fault.. Its theirs. Complicated bullshit. Like my ex said, i should really live off the rest of my life alone.
Seriously though. Antisocial feels like a death sentence. I hate others for not giving me any room to improve. It's like they want me to fail. Please just love and validate me
Aspd is so much easier to deal with when it isn't comorbid with narcissism. It's always encouraging when someone with ASPD shows self awareness and empathy. It doesn't just speak to better chances for recovery, but also gives a better impression of character and an idea of the stressors you responded too.
Thank you. I’m really pleased to have started inter personal therapy and CBT, today. I am aiming to live the rest of my life peacefully. Hopefully I can lend my experiences to those younger, possibly sparing them hate-filled moments, I strongly suspect that’ll help. I’m very lucky to be aware, it should really help with the therapy
@@em2140 thats when you actually understand something, you can know why 5^7 x 5^3 = 5^10, but do you know why? (rhetorical) Good doctor! He understands it, not just memorizes it.
I’m more wary of ASPD, than of NPD. I think Narcissists show themselves sooner. I key in on how they operate pretty quickly. Antisocial people don’t care what you think of them, and just don’t care about you, period. They’re the takers, and if you won’t give it, they do whatever it takes to get it, anyway. I’m always glad to get your notifications. I agree with another commenter that it’s remarkable how much info you cover, clearly, in such a short time. PS you’ve been sounding like you have a cold?
“Scientifically informed” at the start actually got a genuine chuckle out of me. I’ve always been struck at how psychology is treated as though it is a science as opposed to the philosophy of astrology under lens of knowledge granted by the real science- neuroscience. And we with aspd can be very destructive. We can also be very productive- it’s just finding a reason to do so. NPD is reliant on others for their sense of self worth, so they tend to be forced by virtue of that lack of self derived esteem into drawing attention to themselves. Are you more into research? You don’t have the cadence I have come to associate with clinicians that deal with patients constantly….
Can you make a video talking about the types of people with ASPD? I'm particularly interested in those who also display schizoid traits - or the other way around, with schizoids showing antisocial traits.
You explain this fascinating topic very well. My ex-husband scores high on for adverse childhood experiences at six and he has type 1 diabetes, substance use disorder, bipolar disorder, long- term incarceration and ASPD.
Great video once again. I really enjoy that u post almost daily and the video quality is really super. As a studying psychologist here in finland i find your videos educational and very well detailed so people get the terms used right etc etc.
Great video! I would love to see a video on antisocial personality thoughts because although I’ve watched your videos about APD symptoms, it’s hard to really grasp what the experience would be like for that person. They just seem to be wired very differently. Also I would love to compare how their internal thoughts and justification for abusing somebody compare to NPD
Jax Pritchard you could be onto something! My boyfriend has ASPD, and he takes the lead in high stress situations. He responds well in emergency situations. Very calm and acts quickly.
@AREN I have lost a lot of friends and I don't really care much at all. Now i just have a few people that I get something out of, i wouldn't call them friends. I don't feel an emotional bond to anyone, I have to act like I do.
@AREN Sociopaths were all "normal" early on in their life. Overtime circumstances make them Sociopaths. Psychopaths are born destined to become psychopaths because of genetics. So sociopaths may still have emotional bonds to people because they know how it feels from when they were young.
Another thought provoking video there Dr Grande! ASPD is such a dangerous element within the social fabric, and it’s nice to encounter a logical approach to its factors, rather than an emotional reaction. Have you considered speaking about the so-called “Spiritual Teacher” Teal Swan? She is quite a character.
Again, thank you for this info and the video! I cant explain how helpful it was! also, thank you for the consideration you put in all of your videos! I think it's a generally bad idea to self diagnose but when you and/or a loved one does have a diagnosis, this information is helpful in learning how to deal with loved ones and is extremely insightful when looking at one's own condition. most ASPD videos I've seen have a very negative, almost pessimistic view....as if everyone with ASPD is evil and cant change or control anything about their condition.....and I think people tend to trust, believe and act the way those videos say people with ASPD are supposed to act. in your videos, its educational and gives insights on risk factors. it seems (in my case, anyway) to empower me and make me feel like the more I know about the various conditions that my family and I deal with, the better choices I can make when dealing with those issue in the moment (which can be often quite heated, intense and seemingly moving at light speed). When the info is there and its accurate, it can be a literal life saver in a heated, intense moment!
Visiting from 2024 where we have few (if any?) of these clinical videos. Although I do very much like the true crime cases that do have some mental health components, I definitely miss these purely psychological videos! This one in particular was very informative!
Dr Grande I wonder if you have ever engaged with the TH-cam content of creator and Disability/Neurodivergence/Mental Health advocate Special Books by Special Kids (SBSK)? He just recently did a video with an individual who identifies (and is diagnosed as) as having antisocial personality disorder with borderline traits, as well as Bipolar disorder. The interviewer (SBSK) is so empathetic and eager to learn about experiences different to his own, and an interviewee who wants to show his capacity for functioning in society through work he has done in intensive psychotherapy, for me the most powerful insight into the sociopath's experience is the transactional nature of relationships, that relationships are maintained because they have utility, and that sociopath's are on a spectrum in their ability to reciprocate "utility" to their friends or loved ones (or people they are intending to manipulate) in these transactions. I highly recommend (and want to know your opinion) of this video and the content of SBSK at large. Your videos help in a whole different way in identifying and learning about these profiles, giving a general sense, which provides just as much insight. Very grateful!
@@LuciaInman Oh that's because to people with ASPD, reading a person is so utterly second nature that it's actually a totally different conversation. The person being interviewed realized that he was looking into the Gerbil Eyes of an absolute psychopath. SBSK is a really sick puppy. I've always hated his entire channel because I see so clearly that he is dangerous, like Ted Bundy dangerous. This is coming from somebody with a pretty serious past, I've known I've had ASPD for at least a decade but only recently had diagnostic criteria to really see it's severity (fortune: not good) and it explains so much. Especially regarding my gut feelings about people and how I see what's inside just by how you move your face and posterior at about 2 meters. I use these skills for good (more than half the time), for example knowing what sandwich somebody would be most likely to order based off of there mood and clothing when I managed a Subway as a young man. The dude who runs SBSK is the type of "customer" that would make me be DAMN sure I have a deadly weapon within arms reach at all times. I cannot possibly express more emphatically how dangerous that man is, he has a complete lack of emotional processing; it's absolutely fascinating from a neurological perspective but my god is it spooky to watch him do his thing. He's also a PROFOUND narcissist. You can see the look of fear and disgust on that dude being interviewed in the episode you're referring to. Or maybe you can't, which is also super dangerous.
@@H33t3Speaks Yeah, SBSK looks like he doesn't care about anything. He seems really artificial, and his compliments and support always come off creepily. This is not to say he's a bad person or anything of that sort, but I can definitely see something is off about what he's putting out. Like he's just saying the words, but feeling the opposite of what he says.
Very, very interesting, indeed! My mother, sick old witch that she is, has called my middle brother a "sociopath" and "antisocial," etc., most of his life (something I never could see, nor have I ever believed it) but at least one thing he's glaringly missing here is a tendency toward violence and aggression; this was the quiet kid who avoided any and all kinds of physical confrontation with other kids, and to this day, as an adult, he has to leave a movie theater if a film contains even moderate depictions of assaults, physical aggression, etc. Also, he's had mostly minor legal scrapes that have seemed to plague him, but never anything too serious at all. Now....I DO know that he was unplanned for and he was NOT wanted; with our mother already having had another son (our oldest brother) "out-of-wedlock," in early 1962, when this sort of thing was seriously frowned upon (and to top it off, he was fathered by a man who was married to another woman) she never really lived it down. Then she met my dad, got pregnant with what would be her middle child, this older brother she calls antisocial, and she would've had an abortion if she could have, but at least this time, the guy married her, but....she hated him, and she said so on many, many occasions. Before long, she was pregnant with me. They fought constantly....bad fights, too....knock-down, drag-out, loaded gun and butcher knife fights, right in front of all of us, almost nightly.....our childhood was just rotten, literally filled with shouting, screaming, breaking glass all night long, busted up furniture everywhere the next day, on and on. When I was around 5 and my brother had just turned 7, that's about the time when I remember him becoming oppositional defiant with my mother....and only my mother, not our father. She had always been mean to him....we were all beaten into submission like dogs, but he definitely got it the worst. She slapped him across the face daily, and usually many times, she was constantly punishing him for some idiotic infraction of her insane rules. She actually discussed with my dad her determination to find another family to dump him on a few times, right in front of everyone. I don't know exactly to what extent all of this neglect and abuse had on him directly, but I do know that ALL of us suffer from severe anxiety, our oldest brother is a bona-fide alcoholic, we've all had failed marriages, etc. I don't think any of us suffer from ASPD, but I can't help but wonder, if not that, then WHAT are we? I know we are all maladjusted to life in general. One final indignity: when confronted with any of this, she cries and gets very angry and refuses to own any of her rotten parenting "skills," insisting that she was a perfect mother, did everything right, but this one kid was just....a bad seed, never bonded with her during the pregnancy nor as an infant. This raises yet another question: if, in fact, this kid somehow didn't properly bond with her as most other kids just do with their mothers, was it because she was so angry and upset that she was once again unmarried and pregnant, that her anger and despair somehow affected him before and after he was born? I see a distinct possibility of that here. Any thoughts, anyone?
My dad is an undiagnosed full-blown sociopath: impulsive, violent, couldn't hold down a job for more than a couple of months, constatly fighting with anybody, beating my mom, drug and alcohol abuse etc. He was abused by his mom and grew up rather poor and he was heavily traumatized by his exerience in the military during the Argentine dictatorship. He was lucky he never went to jail because his crimes went undetected. Me, on the other hand, a female who was raised by a loving mother in a stable economical situation, had a really different life compared to my dad's, even suffering from the same disorder. In my early teenage years I started manipulating people, even my mom, and I would lie constatly to teachers and friends. I would shoplift and I would start drama. I've never felt remorse but the fact that I was a cute girl in a nice neighbourhood saved me from a life of crime or addiction. So gender and economical status REALLY MAKE A DIFFERENCE. Also I'm really phisically weak so there's no way I could go around beating people up like my dad's used to do. Also I'm a high functioning socipath while my dad is a low functioning one.
my former husband had ASPD. i found out after he cheated on me and moved states without telling me - his dad came by to get his stuff and told me he was sorry for not warning me of the diagnosis he had gotten. the deception was so deep and consistent. i truly had no idea. i’m only 22 and sometimes i wonder if i’ll ever feel safe enough to date again. i question my own judgement constantly now. i worry if i’m genuinely stupid for believing so many lies. this disorder is insane.
It's especially worrying to think of the very young children who spent extra months at home during the pandemic. (Children's centres, nurseries and schools being closed in the UK.) Not only could they not socialise, but neither could their hard-pressed parents. I wonder how their issues may be compounded as they reach adulthood.
That is a very interesting and a helpful observation. This could mean that the pandemic will create more people with antisocial personality traits. Personally I feel that the pandemic is a personal attack towards the next generation, better keep our eyes peeled.
Thank you Dr. Grande for your insightful knowledge. I lean myself more toward to the similar Pathology of other mental illnesses you mention at the start of your video or similarities between these two and other factors which become quite useful and informative. Sometimes I start to think there are so many possibilities to someone's Psyche that you cannot pinpoint one thing or another and see them with that diagnostics from time to time and let the patient believe they have this Disorder and they act accordingly; but there are so many other factors, co-morbidity, causality and a gazillion other variants that we should consider and beware of them. think about them, make room for our misjudgment and a room for getting it better not live under the shadow of those Disorders. again, thank you.
Amazing as always! Recently I was told by my therapist that he believes that I didn't bond with my parents as a young child. (I know that's generally associated with future chance of ASPD) I'd like to hear your thoughts on the subject of child/parent bonding.
Thanks Dr. Grande. Could you please do a video about how to deal and set boundaries with an ASPD significant other who also suffers from ADHD and PTSD?
Does he beat u? If so- JUST CUST UR LOSES AND RUN. my exbf has hit me HARD. Multiple times. So so jealous of my kids, possessive, disrespectful, arrogant, can't keep a job, and has had an awful childhood. But my job is for kid's safety and when I realized he had this I realized I had to run
Holy smokes Dr. Grande. I have a new friend that exibits some of this criteria. Im cluster B. Not faultless. But,.. I do seem to be a cluster B magnet Your videos stay with me throughout my days. I am grateful to be able to look at things like my magnetism . and see my new friend with gray areas instead of looking at him in black and white terms. I can really adore these types. So you do help me not go full throttle and overboard with my "favorite person" thing. I noticed you got new merchandise. I really like the tank top that says "Science" Omg if we humans were easy to figure out. There wouldnt be so much continuing Science about it. Furthermore Dr Grande i will be mentioning you on Quora. Because your research answers questions about cluster B's that are clearer than the so called pros on the site.
I am diagnosed with adhd and had a LOT of aces. I haven't gotten employed yet. I have no urge to socialize. I want to work completely alone for the sake of survivability, I don't know if I can actually mask enough to do fast food and get out of this house. But nothing in life functions without interaction with others. Nothing. I hate it.
On other words readiness in development to think through action before being in a position to do it rather than following the lead of the mentorible reality and internalizing and pondering the why of things.
It's now believed that women may be under diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder because the symptoms often manifest somewhat differently. For example, instead of the physical violence, in women it is more often verbal. They will often go out of their way to destroy a person's reputation and attack them with words The biological roots of Antisocial Personality Disorder need much more research. It's interesting that in many cases, it's linked to ADHD and its nasty cousin, conduct disorder.
I wish you would also have added in the genetic risk factor at the end again in your summary, along with the environmental ones. Sometimes, even children with excellent parents who are genetically predisposed to ASPD, can experience environmental factors outside their family of origin, which helps this disorder develop. Check out Dr. Joshua Coleman’s book entitled “The Rules of Estrangement”.
This was very interesting and enlightening, thank you. My interest is tracing the link between ASPD and PTSD. Through childhood mistreatment, to me is the mental illness that materializes during a period of young or early adolescents or young adulthood whereas, the consequences of ASPD are triggered by PTSD. What are your thoughts on this?
Maybe it's actually complex ptsd not ptsd that is linked to ASPD. I have a brother with ASPD and we come from an emotionally/mentally abusive family and we actually grew up in a turmoil of 5 different types of dysfunctional family structures all wrapped into one pure chaotic family structure. My parents enable him bc my mother is just like him but she functions much better than he does. When my parents pass one day and he refuses to go to a psychiatric hospital he will most likely end up in jail. Its sad but i am "the enemy " in his eyes and he is surrounded by enablers who are in denial of the help he truly needs.
Personality disorders typically develop as as result of traumatic environments in childhood. It's a foundation of beliefs, behaviours, thoughts, and feelings to help an individual cope. Hence the common connection between narcissistic parenting and children developing NPD ("I'm superior") or codependency ("I'm inferior")
Dr. Grande, I had heard about the "failure to greet" some years ago and have been trying to find citations on that--you spoke about it precisely at the 5 minute mark. Is there any way you could link some literature on that phenomenon? Thank you so much.
Heart issues about the same because of lack of conscience, no worries. Accidental death lower because they are so thorough. They are self trained to be highly thorough in the process of conceiling their bad actions.
Awesome topic, doctor.🙂 Could you complement your view on this disorder with a video of your "thoughts of..." series? And is it possible that you differentiate it from traits of schizophrenia (esp. in young males)? This would be great! Have a nice day. 🌹🐞🌻🌈
Very informative video, thank you. What I want to know is can witnessing verbal and emotional abuse between parents and then splitting (not divorced but living separately) at a young age cause ASPD? I ask this because this has happened to me and I have almost all the characteristics of factor 2 psychopathy. I'd be very grateful if you could answer this :) I'm going to copy and paste this question in the comments section of other videos of yours I've watched in order to hopefully get an answer.
I believe the biggest risk factor that someone is going to develope antisocial personality disorder is whenever there is an ongoing pattern in a person of failing to acknowledge attempts being made by others around them to make real peace offered uless of course that peace which was being offered on a regular basis is only almost all the time except when feeling most needy peace at all costs to the potential 'giftee'..
It actually gives me comfort that they will have shorter lifespans. I know its an awful thing to say, but I've seen the severity of the damage they have inflicted upon others. At least the ones on the higher end of the spectrum anyway.
Yes -- healthy attachment is formed in the "sweet spot" between abuse/neglect & helicopter parenting. Unfortunately, we've spent a few generations focusing only on fixing the former, and now we are seeing the results of society-wide indulgence in the latter as the "fix" -- not helpful, obviously....
Thank you! Just wondering, is the "hazard ratio" their term for an effect size? Or is it a different statistic from effect size? Great article. Also, did I understand that ASPD was associated with more death from smoking, or they weren't sure because they didn't control for it? I guess I need to pull the article. I work in public health and anti-tobacco, but psychology is my closet passsion.
I love this man's videos because he sticks to the facts. Many of these "experts and professionals" would have you believe just about anyone can have ASPD or any number of disorders. My honest opinion is that they are pandering to the common need to stroke one's inner edge lord. We all want to feel a little dangerous sure, but there are some people that have real disorders out there.
Dr Grande. I was professionally diagnosed with ASPD and I need your help. Being self aware and having insight is a good thing, but it also makes it worse😭
I know one. She’s also a narcissist. She’s been smoking for 40 yrs. I think her mother neglected her due to having so many other kids, and though it’s sad-- as an adult i think you should know you’re hurting others and try to get help. But they don’t. :/
Hypothesis: Since everyone dies, it makes sense that if someone is at a greater risk for some causes of mortality, this makes them less likely to die from other causes. Looking at the lower accidental death piece: To be in a position of death by misadventure either vocationally (even just driving to work)…or recreationally, both categories require some impetus (effort) combined with the acceptance of such risks. Generally speaking, If we say that tobacco use could be tipping the scales towards death by cancer, pulmonary, and cardiovascular disease-but the former two causes (cancer / pulmonary disease) tend to arrive before advanced heart disease.
I was diagnosed odd as a child and thereafter treated as though I was a liar and a criminal by my family growing up and they can't let go of that.... Thing is, I'm not ASPD. I'm the furthest thing from it. However, being constantly held to impossible standards of conduct as a child (and attaining it) is incredibly, incredibly damaging, and the last thing you want is to take a very loving and empathetic person and treat them like a criminal? Why? Because they will identify with criminals and believe excuses and lies from sociopaths, because, after all, they have been there. It creates the perfect victim, someone who hurts just wanting to give others a fair shake like they never got. Now where am I? Full of rage and fighting homicidality from all the abuse I've been through at the hands of sociopaths and narcissists. I'll never see justice. I'll always be angry, I've been through total hell. And I have to live with everything that happened to me, because of my loving heart, and feel the hurt full on, until I die. Why was I diagnosed with ODD? Cause my parents were crazy but they can pull off a facade of sanity pretty well. One psychologist did pick up on thar, and told my mom I was just acting out her rage. Probably true. Mom could be scary. Mom was mad. Mom was WEIRD.... I probably did not have any true mental illness as a young child. I was just being a kid responding to my environment and were I removed from that environment, I probably would not have had any "symptoms" I never had problems at day care or school.... I know Fiona Apple also had to deal with parents who thought she might be a sociopath growing up, so I like to watch her music videos and read her interviews and not feel so alone.
When it comes to people with aspd, I don't care about you, I have zero pity for you. Been there, done that, and you had none for me. I want absolutely nothing to do with anyone who shows any signs of it. I want nothing to do with anyone like that. They have done enough. I don't care how much someone suffers when clearly they don't care what horrible nightmares they put me through for their own benefit. Anyone who does that is dead to me. I have friends with real hearts who are worth my time. Exploitation of others is always a choice.
My experience with someone with ASPD is that they abuse and commit crimes in order to "prove" that they are not worthy of love, in order to ease the pain of never having been loved. It hurts less not receiving something you desperately want (love) if you didn't deserve the thing in the first place. Their thinking: it makes "sense" my parents didn't love me, look at all the terrible things I do, they didn't love me because I am a bad person. The present-day crimes justify the past neglect and abuse they received in childhood, otherwise it would be too painful to think maybe they DID deserve love and just didn't get it.
Started crying when I read this lol- but sure if I have aspd, I’m def somewhere on cluster B but this is it! This is the exact thing! I’ve been horribly abusive to people in my life to try and prove this point, I’ve refused to keep myself in check up until recently to try and prove a point that I’m horrible. That I deserved everything. That everyone should just leave. I didn’t even know that this had a potential tie in
Hey Dr. Grande, first I just wanted to say thank you for your channel and for educating us. Also I would like to make a question, do you think that a person can suffer from ASPD or lack of empathy alone and at the same time suffer because they don't want to be that way?
In fact some developmental psychologists would bump this up to the first three years of life from the 18 months and others say no more than a 2 to one parent they are attached to. The parents being a moral memtor is important. But also all the children are around that they perceive as older and knows better than themselves that they follow their lead on is an important factor. I think this is independent of overprotectiveness but anything that erodes the confidence or the ability to sct with certainty and pondering of right, wrong and social mores increases the likelihood of this disorder.
Have you ever thought about doing a show on the relationship of hacking and the possible attraction to computer crime. I’ve heard a lot about ASPD’s using apps, loading spying software onto partners phones…ect. It was kind of featured slightly in a film “We Need To Talk About Kevin”! where he sets up his mother when she takes a CD out of his room and places it in her computer. There’s also the worry of Wifi and its signal access to the outside world. Anyway it would be good to see one on this topic.
If one has experienced being only child -neglect in childhood, mental and physical abuse thru adulthood does this lead to ASPD then to survive lead to isolating oneself out of fear of everything? thanks
I don't know, i am not a psychiatist, (from PERSONAL EXPERIANCE), it certainly could be a huge factor. from my point of view and personal experience, i have two sisters (i am a male), the neglection was devastating. i have C-PTSD (diagnosed), my younger sister is a psychopath, and my older sister had to do a lot of psychanalisys before getting to being functional. she is now a psychologe with specialization to kids with trauma, and or kinetic disabilities.
lalas lalakis yes I also I agree I never allowed them to diagnose me as a Sociopath but I remember things like going in my friends house when they were out of town and taking nerf guns and toys at like 10-11 and just assumed since they were rich it was kosher. And of course this trend continued exponentially. But I have narcissistic father who played in NFL so he’s validated for life 😂. A vulnerable narcissist mother. And siblings who are kinda like me in temperament but I’m the worse and the youngest. But yeah fatherly neglect is spot on and we would get spanked just for responding in a disrespectful tone of voice. It’s a very sad occurrence because my parents were adopted and other in foster care so I don’t blame them cause I don’t blame myself. I’m also diagnosed as bipolar and have been hospitalized twice when I was in a manic state.
What about very large families? Unless the middle child has serious problems that command attention, these kids might have a tendency to feel very neglected and make problems to get attention and things spiral from there.
@@frankenz66 i saw someone who made made a video about the behaviour of narcissists towards their children. and she said that narcissists have one children, whom they seem to hyper-love (she said the term 'golden child') and the other she reffered as a 'poor child' or something like that). the golden was overtreated with gifts and hypothetical love, and the other was compltely neglected. that was happening to me, i was having everyday gifts, all the time hugs, and my sisters would only get a 'hi' from dad. i realized it much latter, that after i started talking drugs and failed at school, she behaved to my older sister as a golden child. he would write her letters, he would get in touch much more. while he started attacking me. my other sister was also abused, and became a psychopath. i don't know if the video was made from a psychiatrist/logue but it seemed legit.
Fantastic. Assuredly this disorder will increasingly manifest populations in segments of society which continually try to promote and justify their abnormal behavior and lifestyles.
@@robbkeele1590 I'm in 100% agreement with you.. From my own personal experience & continued abuse I receive from my ex husband whom I believe is a narcissistic sociopath.
I have a family member who has bankrupted 2 of his past wives. He can tell you anyone's resume (you read right)but ask for help changing his lightbulbs.he is a true taker and we as a family refuse to enable him so he plays victim... so pitiful me. Ugh we dont play his games. He hasn't been officially diagnosed with anything as far as I know. I was never raised around him. He is in his mid 70's. I love these videos
How does one recover from ASPD? Suppose they desire it because it is beginning to affect something they care about, and because they care about it so much, they realize they can no longer progress in that field if they don't change entirely. But the knot feels so tangled that if it's untangled all the way through, it feels like they'll forget everything ever because everything they ever know (the good and the bad) are all built on the wrong foundation. And that wrong foundation is what has kept the person's whole identity, so to speak. What can one do then?
I've heard it mentioned many times that childhood exposure to violence is a common precursor to APD. Does this apply to witnessing violence upon animals? I have a "friend" who was given a goat as a very young child (which he named and played with) which was then ritually slaughtered as is custom in his culture. He displays comparatively unemotional and callous feelings however I attribute this to his youth and machismo...yet it seems many men in his culture have less respect for life in general.
Hi, you'll have to talk about the new Netflix programme Love Is Blind, It's shameless talking to each other about about their trust issues, their traumas, how easily they love, how much they have been hurt, how they see themselves, how others see them, how much they are connecting with the person in the other pod (described in real time) … It is horrifying and absolutely transfixing!
Since ASPD is more common in males, and infancy is a critical time, could infant circumcision of boys (especially in USA) be an adverse childhood experience contributing to development of ASPD?
Have you came across any research or case studies specifically focussed on child development, experiences, impacts and the outcome of having an ASPD parent? A lower rate of accidental death isn't surprising if viewed from the perspective of these individuals are self focused; therefore, unlikely to put oneself in an unsafe situation for any reason other than one's own benefit or enjoyment 🤷🏼♀️
Can an antisocial person strive for goals which are antithetical to that disorder? Can you please do a personality profile on Norm MacDonald? He seems to be antisocial based on his attempts to rub certain people the wrong way. But then he’s a comic personality, so the entire reason for his career is to make people laugh. He made me laugh a lot and I got his humor but he challenged people quite often. How can those qualities exist together? Thank you Dr Grande.
I think my sister might have this... she was bullied most of her life by adults and peers and neglected by our parents when she was younger. Is there a way i could help her? She's 17 if thats helpful.
My 1st husband was diagnised anti social by his psychiayrist. He also was an alcoholic. He had no memory of some of the violence things he did. Was it alcoholic black out or sign of aspd. No one knows. He also could not tell what specific he meant when he said" I dont feel good" He was a very paranoid and dangerous person. It was necessary for me to go into hiding change my name. Car. Job even change where I bought groceries and went o church
I've found your last sentence to be...interesting. Unexpected. Since in the title of your video about attachment styles you put a question mark at the end of this statement. So what do you think about this in general? Most damage done early? I must admit that I estimate the influence of longterm stressors, critical life events/traumatic events high. Interesting.🌺
In family systems that function poorly enough to do severe harm to basic attachment, the odds of long-term bad treatment are high (people rarely change readily or quickly), and in this environment, frequent and severe traumatic events are common. Once the foundation is unstable, anything you build on top is shaky.... For someone with an unstable or unhealthy fundamental pattern of relating, even small challenges have magnified impact.
Im really not surprised by the accidental death being lower. We're impulsive in very specific ways, and we may chance our safety, but we're also very calculating. we do care a great deal about self preservation. we're opportunistic. not lacking in caution entirely, but we can turn fear down like volume on a speaker to do what's necessary when situations present themselves.
Strong words Dr. “The damage that is done early, is the damage that tends to last.” So wise. Great vid Dr. Grande
So, what IS early? A female cousin in my family
had a son, and her mother demanded that she
be awarded custody of the baby. Before judges
and attorneys were brought in, my cousin decided that letting her mother raise the baby
had several built-in advantages!! So it worked
out for mother and daughter, BUT ... When the
child was five, Mommy got herself knocked up
again, and she and the guy decided to get married. And she drove straight over to her
Mom's house to pick up her little boy, and Grandma had never pursued her legal options!
As it happened, the kid was terrified to be
taken by a woman he scarcely knew. Almost
immediately, he was paralyzed with fear about
his new life - a new "Mommy," a new, and as it turned out, worthless stepfather, a new house
in a very poor neighborhood ... and worst of all,
his new "Mommy" wanted to break off all
communication between the boy and his loving
grandmother. As time passed, he withdrew from
life more and more. At the age of twelve, he stole $50.00 from his step-grandmother, dropped out of high school at sixteen, went to
a Juvenile Prison for two years, and after that,
he became a repeat offender. He is imprisoned
right now! In hindsight, his bio Mom was obviously a Borderline personality. In fact, her
mother had been moved to call Child Protective
Services and ask them to please check into the
situation. Several more times in the next few years, also! But the bio mom was both devious
and smart, and she could have won an Oscar
for her performance. When someone did drive
out to see him, the mom would change into the
type of mother you would see on shows like
"Little House on the Prairie," "Leave it to Beaver,"
etc.. oh, she would tell the agent, I was just about to bake homemade cookies! And the agent thought she was a normal mother. When really, she was an extreme case of Borderline
Personality, or BPD. And both the mother and
the step-dad had violent arguments. It was not
unusual for neighbors to call the police on them
at least two or three times a month! The step-dad didn't really work, but stayed at home, playing video games. The couple, plus this little
boy, and the baby they had together had all lived
in the step-grandmother's home from the day
of the "wedding!" (Rent free.) The younger child
came to the older boy's bio grandmother, and
confided that his daddy kind of bailed out through all the video games, and virtually had
no interest in him or anything going on in his
little life. He confided this to his maternal grandmother at the age of ten. At the age of
sixteen, he rode the school bus home one day,
went into his bedroom, and suffered a FATAL
heart attack. He was dead by the time the ambulance arrived. The older brother started
feeling as though HE caused the heart attack,
tried to shoplift one day, and was sentenced
to three years in prison. Throughout all of this,
his mother used her younger son's death to get
sympathy and solace for herself. I'm not sure
about what these dysfunctional family members
got up to after that. But the boys' mother was sued for divorce, then took off with her older
son - who had to serve out all the prison sentences he was given. The mother never
admitted she had EVER been anything other
than a GOOD, LOVING wife and mother to her
small "family." She had lived with a small number of boyfriends and/or husband's, but
every new relationship failed after a short time!
Finally, with her oldest son in prison again for
breaking into a car, trying to steal the sound
system. When the police came out, he tried to
beat one of them up and got a new, seven-year
sentence. Meanwhile, his mom was hanging
out at low-class bars and occasionally picking
up men. This woman appears to be easy-going
and fun-loving at the beginning of each new
relationship. And even after she was up in her
forties, looked like a blonde, blue-eyed high school cheerleader! So it was pretty easy for
the naive men to fall for her! Finally, she found
a guy who eventually invited her into his home.
They would constantly argue and fight, he would
toss her out, then take her back every few months or so. I always kept in close touch with
her mother because I could tell the daughter had problems, and I was worried about her kids.
(Although I wasn't able to really make a difference to any of them!) Thankfully, I believe
certain others in their family have sort of come
together to provide encouraging stability for him
once he is released. These God-awful family
situations are common, truth be told. Major
life tragedies which just go on and on until
everyone seems to be under severe pressure
due to the family dynamic. Oh, by the way, this
Mom's first husband was a violent Narcissist,
and did not like his daughter very well at all.
But I have decided that together they make
up a complete "dark triad" consisting of one
Borderline, one extreme Narcissist, and one
Anti-Social personality. I count myself lucky
to have lived a separate life and a few hundred
miles away all those years. But I felt a lot of
sympathy toward the boys and their maternal
grandmother, who has regularly kept me abreast
of the whole, horrible, dysfunctional mess through the years. I thank God for not having
to live any closer to them, because I'm certain
that the boys' mother would have tried to get
me involved in her tragic life! I don't believe
I would have escaped with my sanity had that
happened!!!
@@nancyayers6355 What a tragic mess....So sorry this has unfolded in your family. Tales like this are much more common than people realize. Agencies usually start out using kinship resources to provide "safe" homes for threatened children, but too often the family system has enough toxicity running throughout it that anyone willing to be involved is realistically not someone appropriate to be involved! (My son's caseworker approached 29 biological family members, all of whom refused to take on caring for him and his siblings, before the sicker family members who wanted the kids finally made the mess bad enough to cause their removal to foster care outside the kinship circle. Which has been a painful loss in its own way.) The road of mental illness and emotional disturbance is not for the faint of heart! Good for you for standing by your family -- from a safe & sane distance!
Let me clarify -- that recounting of our family story was all before my son came to us through adoption -- I realized it was confusing! 🤪
what a nice young man in your profile i wonder who he associates with
@@user-ow4dh4dm2o I also wonder who he does not associate with
As someone who has worked in childcare for 6 years, I firmly believe parents should be wary. Teachers act out their own traumas unconsciously and regularly. These industries are designed to allow this. They generally have no recognition of these constructs and many centers are dishonest at there core. It's not just parents hurting young children. Schools should be accountable as well. Sometimes, parents with unresolved issues and teachers with unresolved issues will essentially gang up on a child together. I think we need more dialogue on these problems.
I was verbally and emotionally abused mainly by my teacher's, especially the principal (she was an androphobic, homophobic feminazi, and whenever I seeked help because I was being constantly bullied, pranked and assaulted by my peers, she would justify them telling me that it was because of how much of a sissy I was), they would sermon me about being a man (I was 11), and they would stick their long nails on my arm, and tell to stop being such an annoying, crying pussy. Now I'm quite conflicted whenever I encounter women that reassemble the fake-nice, patronizing, condescending attitude of elementary school teachers, I don't want to be a misogynist, I hate misogynists, like the ones who mistreated my mom and my female friends right in front of me when I was a child, but I have this resentful animosity towards this type of women, and I also have severe Cluster B Personality traits ( ALL OF THE CLUSTER B, Antisocial unlawful behavior, deceitfulness and substance not to long ago, Narcissistic entitlement, arrogance, self-obsession, egocentric machiavellianism and the deliberate manipulation, Borderline conflicting self image, idealization-devaluation cycle, dayly emotional rollercoaster, between feeling extremely depressed, remorseful, angry, grieved and suicidal, and feeling good, joyful, loving, loved and hopeful, Histrionic dramatic expressions of emotion and performative behaviors to draw attention to me in social situations, and feeling extremely frustrated, anxious, sad and angry when I stop being the attention center, I just can't f*ck!ng stand not being the star of the show!, I know it's f*cked-up, but I feel actually suicidally sad and worthless if I'm not paid attention to during a reunion, or party, or just any gathering of people), wow, Holy sh!t, that was a LOOOONG freaking parentheses!, Well, I'm TRYING to manage the f***ed-up behaviors ( especially the antisocial ones, even though the destructive angst isn't going away any time soon). Hope you will achieve some justice for all the kids who get screwed by their teachers.
@@JDdr86 I'm sure that must have been very painful and scary to go through. I'm so sorry to hear it, but thank you for sharing. I will keep you in my prayers. God bless you, my friend. 🙏😊
@@dymphnatherese2595 THANK YOU! 💜💙💚💛🧡♥️❤️
It’s sad we don’t teach this stuff at least to other teachers. Honestly in general children need to be educated on stuff like this
“Poor parenting takes a disastrous toll” 😞
That’s spot on Dr G, I don’t know why basic parenting and attachment isn’t taught in high school. This information would help future parents to be and also, it helps those of us who were neglected or abused understand in some way what went wrong, why we suffered and why we still suffer as adults, coming to terms with childhood abuses 🥺
On a much happier note - you’re nearly at 200K subscribers, yay for you and your fabulous work! 🎉 Thank you so much for helping me and many others, make sense of their experiences, behaviours, beliefs and patterns of thinking 💭 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
Completely agreed. We are missing the boat as a culture by not recognizing the impact of attachment, and, even worse, by reducing it to an absurd little theory of building blocks and categories. I'm working to remedy this through therapeutic consulting work....🙏 appreciated!
Bad parenting actual has a resulted consequencial
name. It's called aspergers disease. It's far more politically correct and accepted vs telling the parents they did a bad job.
@@tuck-brainwks-eutent-hidva1098 gee, too bad welfare checks can't be sent to all parents.
@@ageckomiller how can you explain two people getting the same parents and only one is a sociopath?
@@patricialongo5746 the same way you can explain two parents with brown eyes having a child with blue eyes. It’s not the most likely outcome but it’s possible.
We need more Dr. Grande's in the world.. Been to one psychologists who are just inaccurate and arrogant. Thank you
Bohemian Goddess I agree it’s sad that people who have degrees in the field are able to treat people so bad knowing how vulnerable they are. Like they aren’t children who might not yet know how messed up it is.
Very true.
It amazes me how you can fit in so much detailed information and deliver it so well in just about 15 min.
This video was very informative, thank you Dr. Grande!
Dr. Grande, I love the end of the video where you touch on parenting and how much of an impact we have on our children. In our country, parents lack a lot of guidance and we oftentimes lack a sense of community. That is a great point.
raised a step son headed this direction according to counselors. he's an adult and had the right counseling to divert this. it takes the right counseling and persistence to stop this before it gets out of hand. I did not realize some of the reasons why he had started to develop this issue. this explained a whole lot to me. now I see why counselors told me that I saved his life. wow. good video
@@gstrathmore194 many years of banging my head against the wall to get him help but found a place in Indianapolis for ADHD intensive counseling that stopped the bad behaviors and then follow up counseling in Iowa. Not sure of a specific counseling but the good doc would often say they were having a "come to Jesus" meeting at that session...meaning, he was going to call him on his bad behaviors. It took 4 yrs of this but honestly, the results were well worth it.
Persistence (and creativity) is one key to remediating negative attachment impacts....
@@tuck-brainwks-eutent-hidva1098 I agree with you. I am by nature very persistence if it's a good thing and I realize that one has to be consistent and persistent to manage some of these behavior/mental illnesses or the battle will be lost.
@@conniethingstad1070 True enough -- good for you for hanging in there! It's a lifelong process....
G Strathmore CBT is beneficial. They don’t see consequences like everyone else, so anything that will teach them mindfulness and mitigate impulsivity will hell. But Connie is right, it takes YEARS.
I've always loved learning about psychology and your channel is a goldmine. Thank you for your efforts.
I became interested in psychology because of how dysfunctional my family is. I tried so many times to explain to my father that my brothers' failures despite their intelligence is a result of him abandoning us at an early age. There was always antagonistic behavior among my brothers and my father was never there to stop it. It made our home feel a whole lot more insecure. It felt like there's an unspoken anger towards my father for abandoning us, to make matters worse, he would lie to avoid giving us money whenever we needed him and he would always travel around with his new wife and their kids.
I asked him once why he had left my mother and he said because she wasn't well educated, so I asked then why did you have 9 children with her, he said it wasn't his fault because he only wanted 2.
It always bothered me that he found it easy to leave us, but he never left his wife even though they ended up with mutual hate till he died.
@E k "ye" "wirhout"
@E k he was an abusive person when we were young, so life would have been horrible with him around, but he changed as he got older. He became kinder to us and our kids. But it wasn't enough because the damage was done and some of us never forgave him.
A young girl close to me is suffering from ASPD, nevertheless at times she stops splitting, her true an unabashed self comes forward; compassionate, loving helpful: I cherish those moments reinforcing with honest compliments each and everyone of her rightful behaviours. One cannot emphasize enough the importance of reassuring with love a split and harmful personality when they are doing the right
thing.
A warmest world of gratitude to you Todd, for with wisdom and knowledge honouring the continuum of a personality disorder with its plight the way it deserves. The higher risk for premature death alone indicates that these individuals are indeed not the happier of us. Patience, integrity and understanding.
@Travellerofall Timeandspace She most certainly isn't!
@Travellerofall Timeandspace You didn't read what I've written, let alone did you hear Dr. Grande out!
@@mirjanadolenec3099 she is 100,000,000% faking being nice. she probably wants something from you.
@@panda-vy9ii There's not a snowball's chance in hell anybody can want something from me when I'm unwilling! YOU want from me not to stand by standards! Sorry - They're high! Luke 6:37 "Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven."
@Renae I think that if I coudn't I'd be killed by now: I'm studying war criminals of the Balkans.
These posts have helped me a lot since I’ve graduated college. it’s helps reinforce my learning
It’s a very unpleasant thing to suffer from. Believe me. Once you understand it and, how you can own it and control it, then the suffering slows then stops for yourself and those who love you. Left unchecked and things will go extremely bad. It’s impossible to find the words for the filth, I’ve created, I didn’t know it was wrong, now I try to see myself though others perspective’s. I dare not let the beast out again. Now everything and everyone is something I fear. It’s gone full cycle. Thank you for not portraying aspd people as monsters. I’m sure you benefit many people, greatly.
Really sucks, I have to act like someone else and avoid getting in relationships because it always ends the same way. Who I am is simply a filthy liar, a cheater, a lazy bastard. I have no real opinions, i simply adapt to whoever im with. Im basically nobody. The only little part of me that is me is filthy. I know this yet... I dont really "care". I never think that what happens in my relationships is my fault.. Its theirs. Complicated bullshit. Like my ex said, i should really live off the rest of my life alone.
Seriously though. Antisocial feels like a death sentence. I hate others for not giving me any room to improve. It's like they want me to fail. Please just love and validate me
Prove them wrong.
Aspd is so much easier to deal with when it isn't comorbid with narcissism. It's always encouraging when someone with ASPD shows self awareness and empathy. It doesn't just speak to better chances for recovery, but also gives a better impression of character and an idea of the stressors you responded too.
Thank you. I’m really pleased to have started inter personal therapy and CBT, today. I am aiming to live the rest of my life peacefully. Hopefully I can lend my experiences to those younger, possibly sparing them hate-filled moments, I strongly suspect that’ll help. I’m very lucky to be aware, it should really help with the therapy
I find a lot of information here, especially when it comes to causes, very relatable.
I like when he breaks down the thought patterns behind the behaviours!
@@em2140 thats when you actually understand something, you can know why 5^7 x 5^3 = 5^10, but do you know why? (rhetorical) Good doctor! He understands it, not just memorizes it.
I’m more wary of ASPD, than of NPD. I think Narcissists show themselves sooner. I key in on how they operate pretty quickly. Antisocial people don’t care what you think of them, and just don’t care about you, period. They’re the takers, and if you won’t give it, they do whatever it takes to get it, anyway.
I’m always glad to get your notifications. I agree with another commenter that it’s remarkable how much info you cover, clearly, in such a short time. PS you’ve been sounding like you have a cold?
I love how explain something in such a easy to understand manner without cutting out any of the important facets! I absolutely love your videos.
“Scientifically informed” at the start actually got a genuine chuckle out of me. I’ve always been struck at how psychology is treated as though it is a science as opposed to the philosophy of astrology under lens of knowledge granted by the real science- neuroscience.
And we with aspd can be very destructive. We can also be very productive- it’s just finding a reason to do so. NPD is reliant on others for their sense of self worth, so they tend to be forced by virtue of that lack of self derived esteem into drawing attention to themselves.
Are you more into research? You don’t have the cadence I have come to associate with clinicians that deal with patients constantly….
Can you make a video talking about the types of people with ASPD? I'm particularly interested in those who also display schizoid traits - or the other way around, with schizoids showing antisocial traits.
Yeah, well that would just be a socially awkward person, edge lord, the quiet kid. 😂 Not a sociopath.
You explain this fascinating topic very well. My ex-husband scores high on for adverse childhood experiences at six and he has type 1 diabetes, substance use disorder, bipolar disorder, long- term incarceration and ASPD.
Great video once again. I really enjoy that u post almost daily and the video quality is really super. As a studying psychologist here in finland i find your videos educational and very well detailed so people get the terms used right etc etc.
Great video! I would love to see a video on antisocial personality thoughts because although I’ve watched your videos about APD symptoms, it’s hard to really grasp what the experience would be like for that person. They just seem to be wired very differently. Also I would love to compare how their internal thoughts and justification for abusing somebody compare to NPD
I think Antisocials ARE wired differently! So are the learning-disabled.
Wow! Those hazard ratios are insane, I'd never thought through the negative outcomes as a consequence of having ASPD.
The reason accidental death is lower, probably has to do with their ability to act quickly with no emotion in dangerous situation.
Jax Pritchard you could be onto something! My boyfriend has ASPD, and he takes the lead in high stress situations. He responds well in emergency situations. Very calm and acts quickly.
@@meganeff My dad and I have it, and this is how I would describe it.
@javiercarlos rodriguez Are you dad working on a farm?
@AREN I have lost a lot of friends and I don't really care much at all. Now i just have a few people that I get something out of, i wouldn't call them friends. I don't feel an emotional bond to anyone, I have to act like I do.
@AREN Sociopaths were all "normal" early on in their life. Overtime circumstances make them Sociopaths. Psychopaths are born destined to become psychopaths because of genetics. So sociopaths may still have emotional bonds to people because they know how it feels from when they were young.
Another thought provoking video there Dr Grande! ASPD is such a dangerous element within the social fabric, and it’s nice to encounter a logical approach to its factors, rather than an emotional reaction. Have you considered speaking about the so-called “Spiritual Teacher” Teal Swan? She is quite a character.
Again, thank you for this info and the video! I cant explain how helpful it was! also, thank you for the consideration you put in all of your videos! I think it's a generally bad idea to self diagnose but when you and/or a loved one does have a diagnosis, this information is helpful in learning how to deal with loved ones and is extremely insightful when looking at one's own condition.
most ASPD videos I've seen have a very negative, almost pessimistic view....as if everyone with ASPD is evil and cant change or control anything about their condition.....and I think people tend to trust, believe and act the way those videos say people with ASPD are supposed to act. in your videos, its educational and gives insights on risk factors. it seems (in my case, anyway) to empower me and make me feel like the more I know about the various conditions that my family and I deal with, the better choices I can make when dealing with those issue in the moment (which can be often quite heated, intense and seemingly moving at light speed).
When the info is there and its accurate, it can be a literal life saver in a heated, intense moment!
This is one of the most informative videos I’ve ever seen
you have such a great way of laying out the details. find your videos extremely interesting and insightful. many of the topics apply to my own life.
Visiting from 2024 where we have few (if any?) of these clinical videos. Although I do very much like the true crime cases that do have some mental health components, I definitely miss these purely psychological videos! This one in particular was very informative!
Dr Grande I wonder if you have ever engaged with the TH-cam content of creator and Disability/Neurodivergence/Mental Health advocate Special Books by Special Kids (SBSK)? He just recently did a video with an individual who identifies (and is diagnosed as) as having antisocial personality disorder with borderline traits, as well as Bipolar disorder. The interviewer (SBSK) is so empathetic and eager to learn about experiences different to his own, and an interviewee who wants to show his capacity for functioning in society through work he has done in intensive psychotherapy, for me the most powerful insight into the sociopath's experience is the transactional nature of relationships, that relationships are maintained because they have utility, and that sociopath's are on a spectrum in their ability to reciprocate "utility" to their friends or loved ones (or people they are intending to manipulate) in these transactions. I highly recommend (and want to know your opinion) of this video and the content of SBSK at large. Your videos help in a whole different way in identifying and learning about these profiles, giving a general sense, which provides just as much insight. Very grateful!
@@LuciaInman absolutely, here is a link to the video th-cam.com/video/bdPMUX8_8Ms/w-d-xo.html
I thought to myself that he did this video after having seen SBSK's latest video on the same subject.
i watched that too
@@LuciaInman Oh that's because to people with ASPD, reading a person is so utterly second nature that it's actually a totally different conversation. The person being interviewed realized that he was looking into the Gerbil Eyes of an absolute psychopath. SBSK is a really sick puppy. I've always hated his entire channel because I see so clearly that he is dangerous, like Ted Bundy dangerous. This is coming from somebody with a pretty serious past, I've known I've had ASPD for at least a decade but only recently had diagnostic criteria to really see it's severity (fortune: not good) and it explains so much. Especially regarding my gut feelings about people and how I see what's inside just by how you move your face and posterior at about 2 meters. I use these skills for good (more than half the time), for example knowing what sandwich somebody would be most likely to order based off of there mood and clothing when I managed a Subway as a young man. The dude who runs SBSK is the type of "customer" that would make me be DAMN sure I have a deadly weapon within arms reach at all times. I cannot possibly express more emphatically how dangerous that man is, he has a complete lack of emotional processing; it's absolutely fascinating from a neurological perspective but my god is it spooky to watch him do his thing. He's also a PROFOUND narcissist. You can see the look of fear and disgust on that dude being interviewed in the episode you're referring to. Or maybe you can't, which is also super dangerous.
@@H33t3Speaks Yeah, SBSK looks like he doesn't care about anything. He seems really artificial, and his compliments and support always come off creepily. This is not to say he's a bad person or anything of that sort, but I can definitely see something is off about what he's putting out. Like he's just saying the words, but feeling the opposite of what he says.
Very, very interesting, indeed! My mother, sick old witch that she is, has called my middle brother a "sociopath" and "antisocial," etc., most of his life (something I never could see, nor have I ever believed it) but at least one thing he's glaringly missing here is a tendency toward violence and aggression; this was the quiet kid who avoided any and all kinds of physical confrontation with other kids, and to this day, as an adult, he has to leave a movie theater if a film contains even moderate depictions of assaults, physical aggression, etc. Also, he's had mostly minor legal scrapes that have seemed to plague him, but never anything too serious at all.
Now....I DO know that he was unplanned for and he was NOT wanted; with our mother already having had another son (our oldest brother) "out-of-wedlock," in early 1962, when this sort of thing was seriously frowned upon (and to top it off, he was fathered by a man who was married to another woman) she never really lived it down. Then she met my dad, got pregnant with what would be her middle child, this older brother she calls antisocial, and she would've had an abortion if she could have, but at least this time, the guy married her, but....she hated him, and she said so on many, many occasions. Before long, she was pregnant with me. They fought constantly....bad fights, too....knock-down, drag-out, loaded gun and butcher knife fights, right in front of all of us, almost nightly.....our childhood was just rotten, literally filled with shouting, screaming, breaking glass all night long, busted up furniture everywhere the next day, on and on.
When I was around 5 and my brother had just turned 7, that's about the time when I remember him becoming oppositional defiant with my mother....and only my mother, not our father. She had always been mean to him....we were all beaten into submission like dogs, but he definitely got it the worst. She slapped him across the face daily, and usually many times, she was constantly punishing him for some idiotic infraction of her insane rules. She actually discussed with my dad her determination to find another family to dump him on a few times, right in front of everyone.
I don't know exactly to what extent all of this neglect and abuse had on him directly, but I do know that ALL of us suffer from severe anxiety, our oldest brother is a bona-fide alcoholic, we've all had failed marriages, etc. I don't think any of us suffer from ASPD, but I can't help but wonder, if not that, then WHAT are we? I know we are all maladjusted to life in general. One final indignity: when confronted with any of this, she cries and gets very angry and refuses to own any of her rotten parenting "skills," insisting that she was a perfect mother, did everything right, but this one kid was just....a bad seed, never bonded with her during the pregnancy nor as an infant. This raises yet another question: if, in fact, this kid somehow didn't properly bond with her as most other kids just do with their mothers, was it because she was so angry and upset that she was once again unmarried and pregnant, that her anger and despair somehow affected him before and after he was born? I see a distinct possibility of that here. Any thoughts, anyone?
My dad is an undiagnosed full-blown sociopath: impulsive, violent, couldn't hold down a job for more than a couple of months, constatly fighting with anybody, beating my mom, drug and alcohol abuse etc. He was abused by his mom and grew up rather poor and he was heavily traumatized by his exerience in the military during the Argentine dictatorship. He was lucky he never went to jail because his crimes went undetected. Me, on the other hand, a female who was raised by a loving mother in a stable economical situation, had a really different life compared to my dad's, even suffering from the same disorder. In my early teenage years I started manipulating people, even my mom, and I would lie constatly to teachers and friends. I would shoplift and I would start drama. I've never felt remorse but the fact that I was a cute girl in a nice neighbourhood saved me from a life of crime or addiction. So gender and economical status REALLY MAKE A DIFFERENCE. Also I'm really phisically weak so there's no way I could go around beating people up like my dad's used to do. Also I'm a high functioning socipath while my dad is a low functioning one.
Thank you for being honest and sharing, that’s brave to be that open 👍🏼
Great work again Doc. Accurate, up to date and relevant information.
Cool 😎 I love starting my day with a Dr.G notification! Thank you for another informative vid. Have a great day😉
my former husband had ASPD. i found out after he cheated on me and moved states without telling me - his dad came by to get his stuff and told me he was sorry for not warning me of the diagnosis he had gotten. the deception was so deep and consistent. i truly had no idea. i’m only 22 and sometimes i wonder if i’ll ever feel safe enough to date again. i question my own judgement constantly now. i worry if i’m genuinely stupid for believing so many lies. this disorder is insane.
It's especially worrying to think of the very young children who spent extra months at home during the pandemic. (Children's centres, nurseries and schools being closed in the UK.) Not only could they not socialise, but neither could their hard-pressed parents. I wonder how their issues may be compounded as they reach adulthood.
That is a very interesting and a helpful observation. This could mean that the pandemic will create more people with antisocial personality traits. Personally I feel that the pandemic is a personal attack towards the next generation, better keep our eyes peeled.
This guy is a Legand and is clearly very educated
Everyday I learn something new about myself. Thanks for the eye opening videos😄
Thank you Dr. Grande for your insightful knowledge. I lean myself more toward to the similar Pathology of other mental illnesses you mention at the start of your video or similarities between these two and other factors which become quite useful and informative. Sometimes I start to think there are so many possibilities to someone's Psyche that you cannot pinpoint one thing or another and see them with that diagnostics from time to time and let the patient believe they have this Disorder and they act accordingly; but there are so many other factors, co-morbidity, causality and a gazillion other variants that we should consider and beware of them. think about them, make room for our misjudgment and a room for getting it better not live under the shadow of those Disorders.
again, thank you.
Amazing as always! Recently I was told by my therapist that he believes that I didn't bond with my parents as a young child. (I know that's generally associated with future chance of ASPD) I'd like to hear your thoughts on the subject of child/parent bonding.
Thanks Dr. Grande. Could you please do a video about how to deal and set boundaries with an ASPD significant other who also suffers from ADHD and PTSD?
Does he beat u?
If so- JUST CUST UR LOSES AND RUN.
my exbf has hit me HARD. Multiple times. So so jealous of my kids, possessive, disrespectful, arrogant, can't keep a job, and has had an awful childhood.
But my job is for kid's safety and when I realized he had this I realized I had to run
Holy smokes Dr. Grande. I have a new friend that exibits some of this criteria.
Im cluster B. Not faultless. But,.. I do seem to be a cluster B magnet
Your videos stay with me throughout my days.
I am grateful to be able to look at things like my magnetism . and see my new friend with gray areas instead of looking at him in black and white terms.
I can really adore these types. So you do help me not go full throttle and overboard with my "favorite person" thing.
I noticed you got new merchandise. I really like the tank top that says "Science"
Omg if we humans were easy to figure out. There wouldnt be so much continuing Science about it.
Furthermore Dr Grande i will be mentioning you on Quora.
Because your research answers questions about cluster B's that are clearer than the so called pros on the site.
I am diagnosed with adhd and had a LOT of aces. I haven't gotten employed yet. I have no urge to socialize. I want to work completely alone for the sake of survivability, I don't know if I can actually mask enough to do fast food and get out of this house. But nothing in life functions without interaction with others. Nothing. I hate it.
On other words readiness in development to think through action before being in a position to do it rather than following the lead of the mentorible reality and internalizing and pondering the why of things.
It hit home in my case. Those with ASP are so malignant to others they also know it . From just medical implucations it made a perfect sence too.
It's now believed that women may be under diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder because the symptoms often manifest somewhat differently. For example, instead of the physical violence, in women it is more often verbal. They will often go out of their way to destroy a person's reputation and attack them with words The biological roots of Antisocial Personality Disorder need much more research. It's interesting that in many cases, it's linked to ADHD and its nasty cousin, conduct disorder.
Great video ! Truthful, Educational, Useful.
I wish you would also have added in the genetic risk factor at the end again in your summary, along with the environmental ones. Sometimes, even children with excellent parents who are genetically predisposed to ASPD, can experience environmental factors outside their family of origin, which helps this disorder develop. Check out Dr. Joshua Coleman’s book entitled “The Rules of Estrangement”.
😊 my daily dose of Dr. G , happy Thursday 🌟💫💃
You are a great psychologist! I️ learn so much with every video!
I don't know how it is I'm now seeing this presentation, but very informative.
This was very interesting and enlightening, thank you. My interest is tracing the link between ASPD and PTSD. Through childhood mistreatment, to me is the mental illness that materializes during a period of young or early adolescents or young adulthood whereas, the consequences of ASPD are triggered by PTSD. What are your thoughts on this?
Maybe it's actually complex ptsd not ptsd that is linked to ASPD. I have a brother with ASPD and we come from an emotionally/mentally abusive family and we actually grew up in a turmoil of 5 different types of dysfunctional family structures all wrapped into one pure chaotic family structure. My parents enable him bc my mother is just like him but she functions much better than he does. When my parents pass one day and he refuses to go to a psychiatric hospital he will most likely end up in jail. Its sad but i am "the enemy " in his eyes and he is surrounded by enablers who are in denial of the help he truly needs.
Personality disorders typically develop as as result of traumatic environments in childhood. It's a foundation of beliefs, behaviours, thoughts, and feelings to help an individual cope. Hence the common connection between narcissistic parenting and children developing NPD ("I'm superior") or codependency ("I'm inferior")
@@age93also genetics plays a factor
Dr. Grande, I had heard about the "failure to greet" some years ago and have been trying to find citations on that--you spoke about it precisely at the 5 minute mark. Is there any way you could link some literature on that phenomenon? Thank you so much.
I’m in a lot of pain. My mental health is bad right now. Thank you for the videos
Heart issues about the same because of lack of conscience, no worries. Accidental death lower because they are so thorough. They are self trained to be highly thorough in the process of conceiling their bad actions.
Awesome topic, doctor.🙂 Could you complement your view on this disorder with a video of your "thoughts of..." series? And is it possible that you differentiate it from traits of schizophrenia (esp. in young males)? This would be great! Have a nice day. 🌹🐞🌻🌈
I miss these types of videos from this channel!
Very informative video, thank you. What I want to know is can witnessing verbal and emotional abuse between parents and then splitting (not divorced but living separately) at a young age cause ASPD? I ask this because this has happened to me and I have almost all the characteristics of factor 2 psychopathy. I'd be very grateful if you could answer this :) I'm going to copy and paste this question in the comments section of other videos of yours I've watched in order to hopefully get an answer.
Could you do a video on ASPD co-morbid with bipolar please. I have been diagnosed with both as well as schizotypal. I would appreciate your insight.
Great video. Very informative ! The data statistics intrtesting and useful.
Thank you Dr this knowledge is invaluable to people who must deal with persons with ASPD
I believe the biggest risk factor that someone is going to develope antisocial personality disorder is whenever there is an ongoing pattern in a person of failing to acknowledge attempts being made by others around them to make real peace offered uless of course that peace which was being offered on a regular basis is only almost all the time except when feeling most needy peace at all costs to the potential 'giftee'..
Wow, when he was listing all the risk factors the first thing that came to mind were my little brothers and my uncles.
It actually gives me comfort that they will have shorter lifespans. I know its an awful thing to say, but I've seen the severity of the damage they have inflicted upon others. At least the ones on the higher end of the spectrum anyway.
It's so odd that neglectful and overprotective parents can both cause problems.
Actually both extremes are always bad
Right
Being overprotective is another form of neglect imo. It's neglecting to teach a child how to deal with stress.
moderation is always the healthiest in life
Yes -- healthy attachment is formed in the "sweet spot" between abuse/neglect & helicopter parenting. Unfortunately, we've spent a few generations focusing only on fixing the former, and now we are seeing the results of society-wide indulgence in the latter as the "fix" -- not helpful, obviously....
Thank you! Just wondering, is the "hazard ratio" their term for an effect size? Or is it a different statistic from effect size? Great article. Also, did I understand that ASPD was associated with more death from smoking, or they weren't sure because they didn't control for it? I guess I need to pull the article. I work in public health and anti-tobacco, but psychology is my closet passsion.
I love this man's videos because he sticks to the facts. Many of these "experts and professionals" would have you believe just about anyone can have ASPD or any number of disorders. My honest opinion is that they are pandering to the common need to stroke one's inner edge lord. We all want to feel a little dangerous sure, but there are some people that have real disorders out there.
Dr Grande. I was professionally diagnosed with ASPD and I need your help. Being self aware and having insight is a good thing, but it also makes it worse😭
I know one. She’s also a narcissist. She’s been smoking for 40 yrs. I think her mother neglected her due to having so many other kids, and though it’s sad-- as an adult i think you should know you’re hurting others and try to get help. But they don’t. :/
Nature/nurture It is not only upbringing but likely 50% genetic.
Love these videos. Thanks
Hypothesis: Since everyone dies, it makes sense that if someone is at a greater risk for some causes of mortality, this makes them less likely to die from other causes.
Looking at the lower accidental death piece: To be in a position of death by misadventure either vocationally (even just driving to work)…or recreationally, both categories require some impetus (effort) combined with the acceptance of such risks.
Generally speaking, If we say that tobacco use could be tipping the scales towards death by cancer, pulmonary, and cardiovascular disease-but the former two causes (cancer / pulmonary disease) tend to arrive before advanced heart disease.
I was diagnosed odd as a child and thereafter treated as though I was a liar and a criminal by my family growing up and they can't let go of that....
Thing is, I'm not ASPD. I'm the furthest thing from it.
However, being constantly held to impossible standards of conduct as a child (and attaining it) is incredibly, incredibly damaging, and the last thing you want is to take a very loving and empathetic person and treat them like a criminal?
Why? Because they will identify with criminals and believe excuses and lies from sociopaths, because, after all, they have been there.
It creates the perfect victim, someone who hurts just wanting to give others a fair shake like they never got.
Now where am I? Full of rage and fighting homicidality from all the abuse I've been through at the hands of sociopaths and narcissists.
I'll never see justice. I'll always be angry, I've been through total hell. And I have to live with everything that happened to me, because of my loving heart, and feel the hurt full on, until I die.
Why was I diagnosed with ODD? Cause my parents were crazy but they can pull off a facade of sanity pretty well.
One psychologist did pick up on thar, and told my mom I was just acting out her rage. Probably true. Mom could be scary. Mom was mad. Mom was WEIRD....
I probably did not have any true mental illness as a young child. I was just being a kid responding to my environment and were I removed from that environment, I probably would not have had any "symptoms"
I never had problems at day care or school....
I know Fiona Apple also had to deal with parents who thought she might be a sociopath growing up, so I like to watch her music videos and read her interviews and not feel so alone.
When it comes to people with aspd, I don't care about you, I have zero pity for you. Been there, done that, and you had none for me. I want absolutely nothing to do with anyone who shows any signs of it. I want nothing to do with anyone like that. They have done enough. I don't care how much someone suffers when clearly they don't care what horrible nightmares they put me through for their own benefit. Anyone who does that is dead to me. I have friends with real hearts who are worth my time.
Exploitation of others is always a choice.
Honestly I want videos about aspd to stop appearing in my feed.
My experience with someone with ASPD is that they abuse and commit crimes in order to "prove" that they are not worthy of love, in order to ease the pain of never having been loved. It hurts less not receiving something you desperately want (love) if you didn't deserve the thing in the first place. Their thinking: it makes "sense" my parents didn't love me, look at all the terrible things I do, they didn't love me because I am a bad person. The present-day crimes justify the past neglect and abuse they received in childhood, otherwise it would be too painful to think maybe they DID deserve love and just didn't get it.
this is spot on for me
Started crying when I read this lol- but sure if I have aspd, I’m def somewhere on cluster B but this is it! This is the exact thing! I’ve been horribly abusive to people in my life to try and prove this point, I’ve refused to keep myself in check up until recently to try and prove a point that I’m horrible. That I deserved everything. That everyone should just leave. I didn’t even know that this had a potential tie in
Can you do an episode on perfectionism?
Dr Grande rules😎 Thank you for all the knowledge.
Hey Dr. Grande, first I just wanted to say thank you for your channel and for educating us. Also I would like to make a question, do you think that a person can suffer from ASPD or lack of empathy alone and at the same time suffer because they don't want to be that way?
In fact some developmental psychologists would bump this up to the first three years of life from the 18 months and others say no more than a 2 to one parent they are attached to. The parents being a moral memtor is important. But also all the children are around that they perceive as older and knows better than themselves that they follow their lead on is an important factor. I think this is independent of overprotectiveness but anything that erodes the confidence or the ability to sct with certainty and pondering of right, wrong and social mores increases the likelihood of this disorder.
Have you ever thought about doing a show on the relationship of hacking and the possible attraction to computer crime. I’ve heard a lot about ASPD’s using apps, loading spying software onto partners phones…ect. It was kind of featured slightly in a film “We Need To Talk About Kevin”! where he sets up his mother when she takes a CD out of his room and places it in her computer. There’s also the worry of Wifi and its signal access to the outside world. Anyway it would be good to see one on this topic.
Please do an analysis regarding the Torrence Fletcher character in the movie "whipash", Dr. Grande.
Looking forward to it.
I really enjoy these videos, thanks Doc.
If one has experienced being only child -neglect in childhood, mental and physical abuse thru adulthood does this lead to ASPD then to survive lead to isolating oneself out of fear of everything? thanks
I don't know, i am not a psychiatist, (from PERSONAL EXPERIANCE), it certainly could be a huge factor. from my point of view and personal experience,
i have two sisters (i am a male), the neglection was devastating. i have C-PTSD (diagnosed), my younger sister is a psychopath, and my older
sister had to do a lot of psychanalisys before getting to being functional. she is now a psychologe with specialization to kids with trauma, and or
kinetic disabilities.
lalas lalakis yes I also I agree I never allowed them to diagnose me as a Sociopath but I remember things like going in my friends house when they were out of town and taking nerf guns and toys at like 10-11 and just assumed since they were rich it was kosher. And of course this trend continued exponentially. But I have narcissistic father who played in NFL so he’s validated for life 😂. A vulnerable narcissist mother. And siblings who are kinda like me in temperament but I’m the worse and the youngest. But yeah fatherly neglect is spot on and we would get spanked just for responding in a disrespectful tone of voice. It’s a very sad occurrence because my parents were adopted and other in foster care so I don’t blame them cause I don’t blame myself. I’m also diagnosed as bipolar and have been hospitalized twice when I was in a manic state.
What about very large families? Unless the middle child has serious problems that command attention, these kids might have a tendency to feel very neglected and make problems to get attention and things spiral from there.
@@frankenz66 i saw someone who made made a video about the behaviour of narcissists towards their children. and she said that narcissists have one children, whom they seem to hyper-love (she said the term 'golden child') and the other she reffered as a 'poor child' or something like that). the golden was overtreated with gifts and hypothetical love, and the other was compltely neglected. that was happening to me, i was having everyday gifts, all the time hugs, and my sisters would only get a 'hi' from dad. i realized it much latter, that after i started talking drugs and failed at school, she behaved to my older sister as a golden child. he would write her letters, he would get in touch much more. while he started attacking me. my other sister was also abused, and became a psychopath. i don't know if the video was made from a psychiatrist/logue but it seemed legit.
Thats not ASPD.
Fantastic. Assuredly this disorder will increasingly manifest populations in segments of society which continually try to promote and justify their abnormal behavior and lifestyles.
Helped me a lot thank you.
This was kolber...Lindsay..and moral psychology in my edicational days... The development of ethical thought before one acts....
Great video Dr. Grande :)
In your opinion, who is more dangerous and when - a sociopath or a narcissist?
Sociopaths are narcissistic
@@robbkeele1590 I'm in 100% agreement with you.. From my own personal experience & continued abuse I receive from my ex husband whom I believe is a narcissistic sociopath.
I have a family member who has bankrupted 2 of his past wives. He can tell you anyone's resume (you read right)but ask for help changing his lightbulbs.he is a true taker and we as a family refuse to enable him so he plays victim... so pitiful me. Ugh we dont play his games. He hasn't been officially diagnosed with anything as far as I know. I was never raised around him. He is in his mid 70's. I love these videos
the bad parenting factors you mention sound like antisocial tendencies manifesting in the parent, maybe this points to heritability, any thoughts ?
Fascinating video
How does one recover from ASPD? Suppose they desire it because it is beginning to affect something they care about, and because they care about it so much, they realize they can no longer progress in that field if they don't change entirely. But the knot feels so tangled that if it's untangled all the way through, it feels like they'll forget everything ever because everything they ever know (the good and the bad) are all built on the wrong foundation. And that wrong foundation is what has kept the person's whole identity, so to speak. What can one do then?
Another great video, are any of the other personality disorders correlated with a change in mortality?
I believe Borderline is higher in mortality but don't know about the others... Dr Grande? ....😅🤷🏼♀️
RAD, PTSD(in some cases), schizood, schizophrenia, bpd some what I can think of
I've heard it mentioned many times that childhood exposure to violence is a common precursor to APD. Does this apply to witnessing violence upon animals? I have a "friend" who was given a goat as a very young child (which he named and played with) which was then ritually slaughtered as is custom in his culture. He displays comparatively unemotional and callous feelings however I attribute this to his youth and machismo...yet it seems many men in his culture have less respect for life in general.
Dr. Grande 🤓💕 Brilliant!
Hi, you'll have to talk about the new Netflix programme Love Is Blind, It's shameless talking to each other about about their trust issues, their traumas, how easily they love, how much they have been hurt, how they see themselves, how others see them, how much they are connecting with the person in the other pod (described in real time) … It is horrifying and absolutely transfixing!
I miss these videos
Since ASPD is more common in males, and infancy is a critical time, could infant circumcision of boys (especially in USA) be an adverse childhood experience contributing to development of ASPD?
Have you came across any research or case studies specifically focussed on child development, experiences, impacts and the outcome of having an ASPD parent?
A lower rate of accidental death isn't surprising if viewed from the perspective of these individuals are self focused; therefore, unlikely to put oneself in an unsafe situation for any reason other than one's own benefit or enjoyment 🤷🏼♀️
Thanks Dr. Grande! Your super smart and awesome!😊👍🏻
Can an antisocial person strive for goals which are antithetical to that disorder? Can you please do a personality profile on Norm MacDonald? He seems to be antisocial based on his attempts to rub certain people the wrong way. But then he’s a comic personality, so the entire reason for his career is to make people laugh. He made me laugh a lot and I got his humor but he challenged people quite often. How can those qualities exist together? Thank you Dr Grande.
I love your channel so much
11:10 sorry, but what did you say there? You spoke a little bit indistinct and I'm not a native english speaker. Did you mean "accidental death"?
I think my sister might have this... she was bullied most of her life by adults and peers and neglected by our parents when she was younger. Is there a way i could help her? She's 17 if thats helpful.
My 1st husband was diagnised anti social by his psychiayrist. He also was an alcoholic. He had no memory of some of the violence things he did. Was it alcoholic black out or sign of aspd. No one knows. He also could not tell what specific he meant when he said" I dont feel good" He was a very paranoid and dangerous person. It was necessary for me to go into hiding change my name. Car. Job even change where I bought groceries and went o church
I've found your last sentence to be...interesting. Unexpected. Since in the title of your video about attachment styles you put a question mark at the end of this statement. So what do you think about this in general? Most damage done early? I must admit that I estimate the influence of longterm stressors, critical life events/traumatic events high. Interesting.🌺
In family systems that function poorly enough to do severe harm to basic attachment, the odds of long-term bad treatment are high (people rarely change readily or quickly), and in this environment, frequent and severe traumatic events are common. Once the foundation is unstable, anything you build on top is shaky.... For someone with an unstable or unhealthy fundamental pattern of relating, even small challenges have magnified impact.
@@tuck-brainwks-eutent-hidva1098 Ah, this makes sense to me, thank you for explaining! 🌺
@@mrs.reluctant4095 I'm glad it made sense 🤪. It is my field of work, but it's very complex, and hard to explain in general!
Im really not surprised by the accidental death being lower. We're impulsive in very specific ways, and we may chance our safety, but we're also very calculating. we do care a great deal about self preservation. we're opportunistic. not lacking in caution entirely, but we can turn fear down like volume on a speaker to do what's necessary when situations present themselves.