You're a dick for having no empathy. She knows it isn't her sisters fault but she needs time to get to terms with what happened. She is the most hurt party here now left to be a single mom after finding out her husband was in love with her sister. How is it so hard for you to have some damn empathy you.
Story 1: Apparently there's a reason this person's account has been deleted (the user listed on screen is incorrect). OP decided to get back with her husband, that threw her and their baby away, and go no contact with her sister. So yeah, she's not as nice and thoughtful as she would have liked people to believe. I feel so bad for the sister. Apparently at some point she lost the baby. I hope her and her fiance/husband are able to move on from all of this.
No one is surprised that the husband was cheating, but HE WENT TO THE COPS and threatened her job! Nah. I'ma go to the cops and see what they could do with him...
What gets me is his "I didn't want to hurt you directly with divorce" as though potentially ruining her career and giving her a police record isn't significantly worse.
Fr. Like, what type of sense does it make for you to be cheating and then try and have me arrested because you're too chicken to just admit that and leave? I would drag him through the mud in the divorce. The cheating is bad enough but the audacity to actually go through with a police report and trying to get her fired over some BS is just too much.
@@RiveroftheWither No for real, that line is WILD. He's okay threatening... pretty much everything else in her life with false abuse allegations, but divorce is where he draws the line??? Wack.
Story 2: he didn’t wanna hurt OP with the truth and getting a divorce? But thought faking trauma, falsely accusing her of abuse, even making a false police report, and threatening her career by telling her boss was easier? OP is a good person and he’s lucky she was done with his crap and his brother is smarter than him. Because second worst case scenario, she could have buried him with all of this information and taken far more than half of everything in the divorce. Or if his bro didn’t stop him and he gone with his smear campaign. Where worse case scenario plays out , OP sue for defamation, get him arrested for reporting a fake crime, and he loses everything while becoming unemployable. He does not deserve to get off this easily, but still I applied OP for taking the high road and forcing on her instead.
its always more easier to blame others than taking responsability , painting yourself as the victim does not make you rot inside as much as does being the perpetrator
I see this as a story of the shoe being put on the other foot. How many times have men been arrested and jailed for doing exactly what OP did to her husband? Yet the cops tell this guy "we don't press charges for a spouse hugging you". Yet, if she were the one making the report, he would be handcuffed, and removed from his home, with no one believing that he just wanted to hug his wife to celebrate a promotion. It's not right, and it's not justice, but there is at least one woman out there who now understands men who have been wronged by a false accusation.
@@FlanylShirtmanBrother that does not happen, those police would've dismissed Op of she were the one to make the report as well. Now, if either of them had reported actual rape or sexual assault that would be different
Thank you, exactly. People love to say they don't want to hurt the person (by doing the right thing) then do the worst things possible and hurt the person 1000×s more by lying and cheating rather than just being honest. And also cause themselves and their spouse way more stress and drama, it's so disgusting, unnecessary and manipulative.
@TheImaggine not to me, I'd rather just be honest and say I want to break up. I never saw any point in playing mind games and lying or cheating and also trying to get my spouse fired for no reason. Also cheating is lame, just break up and be single or at least, break up once you know you have feelings for someone else and it's becoming serious with the second person. People really like being manipulative for no reason and then end up making their lives and others more difficult. It's such a waste of time and it causes way more drama.and chaos to lie and cheat.
@@snaillicious7984 it can tho love for someone romantically and platonically and family is different. Im not excusing it at all, im just saying that love especially when you’re about to have a baby with that person can make you do dumb thing. Why do you think abusers are able to convince their partner to cut off contact with family members who are good to them? It sucks and I really hope through therapy or healing over time it doesn’t affect her relationship with her sister. I can’t imagine the hurt she’s feeling right now especially because she is pregnant with that man’s baby. I hope she heals, as well as her relationship with her sister. Looking at her and remembering she is “inferior” to her sister will hurt for a long time but she has to realize it’s not her sisters fault at all.
S1: So op was so willing to forgive her scummy ex just because she was desperate to keep him. She’s so used to to people taking care of her which is her fault because if anything her experience with her stepfather and help from her sister should have taught her to be independent. But no. Instead she dated and married a guy similar to her sister only to find out that he also loved her sister because of her strength and resilience. Qualities both lacking in op especially since her only concern was looks. Op chose to forgive her turd of a husband because she needs him more than he wants her. Her actions towards her sister is just selfish and cruel because her sister is a beautiful soul. Basically she’s beautiful on the inside and outside. She’s upset and punishing her own sister because op is butthurt about her selfish husband. It seems that op and her ex actually have more in common character wise. Neither have a problem hurting the people they claim to love. Oh well op needs to get off of her arse because it’s time to grow up and start relying on yourself instead of always expecting someone else to take care of you.
hopefully op 1 comes to her senses and doesn't continue to treat her sister so coldly because those last couple updates sound like she's starting to hold the same contempt for her sister that op's shitty ex had for op. what op is going through is heartbreaking but taking it out on her sister makes the sisters case just as heartbreaking
OP in general has revealed herself to be a pretty terrible person. The mask started slipping when she defended her husband's views about sister's fiance by saying, "To be fair, he's a carpenter while she's a pediatrician." As if a carpenter marrying a pediatrician defies a sacred caste system or something. I honestly wish she and her husband would stay together so that no good individual ever gets roped in by either of them.
@@wilhelminawill9495 OP did not say "to be fair, he's a carpenter while she's a pediatrician." Rslash, for whatever reason, added the "To be fair..." The original text implies that's how the husband feels, not OP.
I really hope OP can take some time to work through her feelings the sister doesn’t deserve having OP take it out on her she’s completely innocent. It’s solely the ex husband’s fault.
I agree... She tried couples therapy with her shitty ex husband, so I hope she continues therapy on her own and eventually come to terms with the fact her sister had nothing to do with this and that her sister is always there for her. Her sister isn't trying to be "perfect", she's trying to be there for OP because she loves her.
its better that she kept some distance, if she stayed, it would have gotten worse. op needs time to process her emotions on her own. the most the sister can do is ensure someone keeps an eye on op incase something happens.
@@kenenigans The sad part is, OP knows that. She knows her sister is only trying to help. But the ex-husband has poisoned that relationship. It's going to take time before OP sees it positively again.
yes the sister is innocent and I'm sure in time OP will see that but right now OP needs space as her sister (unwittingly and unwillingly) was placed in the role of "the other women" by OPs husband and is therefor tied to the pain and conflict OP is experiencing.
Its a kind of hate that festers deep and fast. Obviously she loves her but the anger is too loud. She NEEDS to talk to someone, not just reddit. I hope her sister understands 😭❤️
@@Clyde-S-Wilcox she took it out on her. She hated being touched by her so most likely recoiled at her touch. She basically told her 'there, I told you, now get out and don't come back, I alone need to heal so don't contact me again.' And then in the end she said she hated that she had a "perfect life" and to F off. How's that not taking it out and blaming her?
Also, OP decides that toxic non-love is much better than her sister so she left and went back to her husband and went no contact with her sister. Apparently at some point the sister lost the baby so OP and their marriage counselor were going to work together to inform husband about it. So yeah, OP isn't the best type of person after all.
S2: this isn’t trauma. This is a cover up. ETA: called it. Imagine wanting so badly to not be the “bad guy” that you’re willing to ruin someone’s entire life and career to hide your cheating, then saying it’s because you don’t want to hurt them directly. Calling the cops is p direct, bud.
S2 He's cheating. *Yep. Thought so. That sudden turn off of the love spigot is nearly always a sign that they're being "faithful" to someone else. **Op should make notes and keep records of everything he says and does and give it to her lawyer. Especially his plan to make her look like the bad guy, in case he tries it in court.
@@MrsShocoTaco I kinda understand that, being tired and overwhelmed and not wanting touch, but the way he went about that even in the beginning was a huge red flag
“I’m willing to accept that he may divorce me over this”. Is she f’ing crazy?? This is her husband who completely banned her from touching him and then actually went to the police to try to get her recorded as a sex offender?? He also then said he was going to tell her work so trying to destroy any kind of career in that field. So because he’s a cheating POS, he set out to absolutely ruin his wife’s life. Why on earth hadn’t she already asked for a divorce when he did that? I couldn’t ever be with someone like that and I would definitely make it as hard as possible on him if my husband did that to me - why give him the quick divorce he wants and allow him to get away with what he did? I definitely would be finding and messaging the new sucker he’s seeing, I would report him to the police for the fact that he filed a false police report. If nothing criminal happens from it, then maybe a civil case for slander?
@@Outnumberedbykidsandcats nice to know that you’ve never been in a situation where you’ve questioned yourself wondering if you’re in the wrong and convincing yourself that you are even though you weren’t in the end, wish I could say the same!!
It's sadly not uncommon for people (usually but not always men) to act like an AH to get their spouse to initiate divorce so they don't have to be the bad guy. I suspect it's at least partially responsible for the "women initiate 70% of divorces" figure.
@@HackiePuffs Yeah, I have an Ex-Friend who hasn't gotten the message that we're no longer friends. And the "friendship," if you even call it that, was Toxic at best and borderline Abusive at worst. It got so bad with the Gaslighting and the Severe Mood Swings, where he would be fine one moment, SCREAMING at me for 15 minutes, and then completely fine like nothing happened the next! I'm just going to ignore his messages from now on!
@ yikes I’ve had an old friendship with those vibes (not really yelling or lashing out just a lot of guilt tripping and violating personal boundaries and he just wouldn’t get the hint) so I feel ya. That’s actually the main incident I was referring to in my OG reply because I was genuinely convinced I was the bad guy/problem until my current friends told me my feelings were valid. Good call on not responding to them anymore just stay safe, gather evidence in case you might need it, and I wish you the best of luck hopefully you’ll be able to stop dealing with them eventually 💙
Story 3: "I was just trying to help" Literally trying to manipulate OP into doing drastic stuff and acting condescending. Help? Nah, none of his ideas would have helped
Not all carpenters build walls for new homes. Carpentry is a skilled trade that takes a lot of training. The Notre Dame Cathedral just reopened this morning. There were a lot of carpenters involved in that rebuild. Not many were interested in 16" on center. A carpenter seems like a catch to me.
Carpentry is a highly skilled trade, and often does phenomenally well financially. I've got way too much school education, but I truly encourage young people to investigate going into the trades if they don't love college. A skilled tradesman is a great catch.
Absolutely! Carpentry is an extremely respectable career, but a lot of people really seem to stick their nose at trades. It's such a disservice to the field, when the people within have a lot of skill and knowledge behind what they do.
Carpentry is an amazing craft and the guy in that story was literally jealous of the sister's husband because he just wanted the sister and was throwing hate because it wasn't him. He was being a turd.
Story 2: Honestly, him lying to the employer (if he did that), which could get OP fired in the worst case scenario, could actually be grounds for a lawsuit from OP. It would have been a lot better and easier to just admit from the get-go that he is having an affair, but whatever
Everyone is quick to point out potential lawsuits, but no one actually does it because it's such a long stressful process that's not even worth going through at the end in 99% of cases.
@@codyjohnson6427 In a situation where she's gonna divorce him and it's a clear cut easy victory it'd probably be better for her to file a lawsuit. Make his actions and motive well known and documented so her lawyer has an easier time making sure he gets his butt handed to him in the divorce. Especially so he can't go spreading another fake story about her. He tried to call the cops on her once, I wouldn't put it passed him to make up something else to try and save face if he realizes he'll be a social pariah once the story gets out.
She's still extremely emotional and probably, definitely, needs some distance from the unrest. Her sister did nothing wrong ofc but it is the husband's crush on her sister that's the cause of distress. Hopefully when she has calmed down she can rekindle.
She's not. She's mourning the loss of her marriage, her husband and her child's father. She's pregnant scared. She's hormonal. She's emotional and she's had her entire world explode in her face and what seems to be about a month worth of time. She's facing the rest of her life in single motherhood. And we all know how society loves to judge single mothers. When someone asks you for space you need to respect it. And sending them a text message is not respecting that. I'm not saying that the sister isn't coming from a good place cuz she obviously is. But needing space and time to process your emotions is not punishing someone. It's being human. In a rather difficult situation
@topasu9454 No, that's not what I said, calm down. Im answering the original question with a theory that makes sense with the context of the story. I even reiterate the sister did nothing wrong.
@@topasu9454absolutely. When she said how angry she was with her it was unfair enough because the sister did nothing wrong. When she then went on to say she ignored her text message because “she hates it when she is just so perfect” then I lost a ton of sympathy for her. Her poor sister did nothing wrong and yet she is getting the blame from her sister who she thought she had a good relationship with. That’s just horrible and I’ve never done horrid things while I was pregnant and then blamed it on hormones. You are still responsible for your actions even if you are hormonal.
Story 2 - She 100% NEEDS to file a police report on him filing a false police report. A hug in a marriage does not constitute charging and arresting OP however filing a false police report to get out of your marriage because you're a dirty cheater is most definitely a chargeable offense. She can rake this schmuck over the coals big time via the police and the courts. I was involved in a hit and run where the guy who hit me said it wasn't him because his truck had been stolen and then abandoned after the accident. He filed the police report. The real reason he didn't want to get caught up at the scene of the accident was because he was driving on a suspended license. They had him dead to rights though that it was indeed him because of a witness at the scene and being told by the witness to call 911 so they had him. He did time in actual jail because of the hit and run but mainly for filing the false police report. The cop who had helped me through this whole ordeal told me had he stayed at the scene, they would not have thrown him in jail for the suspended drivers license. He would have had to show up to court but he would not have been arrested. Moral of the story. Do not file obviously fake police reports (where you did so knowingly).
There's another update to story 1. Basically she's NC with her sister (no fault of the sister) and basically op living in a delusion that her and her husband are a happy family. The sister had a miscarriage and op doesn't care. She says she hates her sister (love-hate) and seems like it basically jealousy that Op will never be as good as her sister.
Wait, so that means that OP is still marriage with that a**hole of a husband? The same that said that love her sister and said doesn't want to have anything to do with her daugther? Can we go back in the past I let OP get beat up by her drunk stepdad? Because that didn't happen to her because of her sister.
Wow that's terrible and she is sounding like a huge jerk when the sister did nothing wrong. The same husband cried because sister had a baby, husband called sisters husband a lover and wished he slept with her, said he loved her more than wife and this chicken picks him over the sister that protected her from abuse. Wow that is so messed up. I guess they deserve each other.
@yazajag she's gonna learn the hard way the husband is not changed and IS going to in fact betray her again. She's delusional and I hope this is fake because no way she goes "thanks for your support" most people are against her
Story 1 there is somthing off. OP calls her sister little miss perfect. Her sister did nothing wrong. The husband is bad but i feel like OP is leaving things out/ making herself sound better. Something just feels off.
Story 1: Op's sister is the kind of sister I wanted to be. Maybe I was too young when my sister and I were going through similar crap. But I hope OP is able to get through this. The one line of "this too shall pass" feels good for this story
apparently there’s another update and OP decided to stay with her husband and cut contact with her sister. Also I seen a few comments mention that OP’s sister lost her baby and supposedly OP wrote she was happy her sister lost her baby. So yeah supposedly OP is terrible and picked her lame husband over her caring sister, I guess she and her husband are truly a match for each other.
@@oceanspace7671 I found the update. I posted the whole entire update including some comments OP made and yeah, it seems like OP was always jealous of her sister since she mentioned that she hopes to stay far away from her as she’s afraid that her kids will like her sister more than her like everyone else in her life does. So it’s implied OP’s always been jealous of her sister. She seems to show little care about her sister’s recent miscarriage.
Story 1 blows my mind. He tells OOP not to "do this to yourself" and asks her not to tell anyone and says he thinks the marriage can be saved. Of course HE thinks it can be saved, because he's the one that's in the wrong! Why would OOP even go to counseling? If our husband loves someone else, there's no counseling that will save that. And now OOP is abandoning her sister for no reason. She's doing absolutely everything wrong here, but I hope she at least goes after the ex for child support.
I'm not sure he actually filed a report. Sounds more like he walked in and said "my wife hugged me! I'm pressing charges!" and they said "Sir, we're not gonna do that."
There’s another update on Story 1, copied from the subreddit: My husband and I are back together. Thank you for all the support and wish us luck. *Update 6* My husband has been going to intensive therapy and we were talking to each other almost every night. He told me that he wasn't being himself when he told me that he didn't want me or our baby anymore. He wasn't feeling well but he is now working intensively on himself to sort out his problems and figure out the reasons why he would tell me something this devastating. My husband like me carries a lot of trauma from his childhood. I fully understand him and I believe him when he says that he didn't mean the hurtful things he told me (see my post). I also believe he could be a better person with therapy and I believe that he loves me and my our baby. Last weekend he came home and we spent the whole weekend together. He was the same loving and caring husband I've fallen for. I love him and I truly believe what l'm seeing now is his true self. He helped me pack my things and we have moved out to our new city and new apartment. I feel butterflies in my stomach like we're newly in love. He starts his new job September first so until then he's just mine. We've been on dates and he's shown me our new city. He tells me he loves me every morning and every night and he makes love to me with passion l've never felt before. I'm just so happy. My baby will be born with her parents both have luggage but both willing to do whatever to make it work. As of my sister. I haven't spoken to her since dinner she had in my house with her fiancé. I was clear that she wasn't allowed to contact me again but l've noticed her the first few days coming by to see that everything was okay, without daring to knock on my door. And I just felt so much hate (lovehate) towards her. She will always be a constant reminder of the pain from the past. I'm a big girl now. I don't need her sleeping at my door to be the one who took my step fathers wrath. I hate her for doing this. She had a miscarriage earlier this week. I found that out through a mutual friend because my sister has deleted all her media since we last talked. We need to concentrate on our little family now. She's not a part of it. I love her and I don't resent her and maybe in the future we can be sisters again but I don't want anything to do with her right now. I have blocked her and her fiancé's numbers and so did my husband. I hope everything is fine with you guys and please wish me happiness because I finally can see that in my future. Before you call me cruel I will end on a more positive note. My sister's plan for eloping are still on. So her fiancé is at least serious in marrying her and not only wanted it because they got pregnant when they're still dating. *Edit:* I'm sorry that I have upset all of you. I thought I was making an update and sharing my joy in reuniting with my husband and giving my daughter a whole home. It was breaking my heart that I was going to offer my daughter a broken home before she was even born. I love my sister deeply. I've always said she's the better person and you guys told me otherwise. That I was putting her on a pedestal. What change now I chose my happiness? *hopefully final update Edit* I've emailed my husband's shrink and therapist about my sister's situation. I got an answer now. We're telling my husband today about her misfortune. I'm not doing it by myself. Now I'm going to log off and live my life in peace. My husband and I are both ready for our baby. I know that the moment she's here we'll be the happiest on earth and we will give her what we both lacked. As for my sister, I will always love her. And if I know her well she will be happy for us and would understand my situation and have compassion. Have a nice day *Comments OP made:* "She will be fine. More than fine. She has a great fiancé and his family who adore her more than anyone can imagine. She is strong and she'll be fine" “I do have compassion I didn't mean she's fine about this. But In general. I know this incident is awful but I don't know what help I can be plus I didn't cause it. I need to think of my family now. I desperately want my baby to have the best life. I don't want any negativity around her" "She has her fiancé and his family around her. I can't have any contact with her now in case she thinks I want a relationship with her" "I don't want her to be a part of my child/ children's life, because I don't want to risk my children loving her more like every single person in my life" *When asked if the stress of being being blamed and shun by OP could cause the miscarriage OP replied:* “That's not true. Don't blame something this awful on us" "I'm not punishing her for anything. If she's not feeling well right now it's for obvious reasons and also because she goes into periods of depression from time to time. I know she's on sick leave until October. She's refusing to leave her bed but she has a lu of people who love her around her. What would she think if her happily pregnant sister comes to visit with her healthy belly? It would devastate her. She is best left alone right now without reminder if what she's lost" "He will not be unfaithful. He has never cheated on me. And my sister would never cheat on her fiancé. I just don't think this is relevant to our lives. Women miscarry all the time. She will he pregnant again soon. Or maybe she could wait now since this all wasn't planned and happened less than a year from meeting her fiancé soon husband" *When asked would she still think the same if she lost her baby, OP said:* "Im almost 34 weeks now She was 13 It's not the same thing at all" "It wasn't planned I. It just happened and it rushed all her plans of engagement and marriage. Mine is planned and awaited"
Her husband is going to cheat on her. 100%. And then she'll be all shocked pikachu face. I just hope for her sake that when she inevitably runs back to her sister that her sister will have the grace to forgive her, because I sure as hell wouldn't.
@@StefisgardenI hope for the sister's sake that she doesn't forgive OP. Though you can guarantee she'll be running her mouth about her sister "abandoning her" if she doesn't.
Yeah, the last couple lines of the last post RSlash read had me do a double take at OP, and this update makes it even worse. She doesn't want her sister in her life because "I don't want to risk my children loving her more like every single person in my life..." OP's going to regret it when her husband falls for someone else and things become even worse than before, but this time she won't have the one family member that loves her because she went NC with her for no good reason.
Physical affection story: I really hope OP takes her ex to the friggin cleaners cause omg. 'I didn't want to hurt you directly!' Lmao, no, he didn't want to be a big boy and either A) be faithful like he vowed or B) break up with OP before he decided to cheat. I hope she returns the favor and tells his job that he's screwing an intern cause I don't think that's looked fondly upon. Also, if he 'didn't want to hurt her' why TF would he go so far to ruin her life? He was trying to get her fired and even ARRESTED! So not only is he a lying, cheating moronic POS but you can add, more spineless then a friggin' jellyfish. I cannot wait for the intern to cheat on him (cause she will) and for Karma will come for him and it will be glorious 😇
S1:Its not the sister's fault that OP's husband developed feelings for her. OP had no reason to lash out at her sister because it was her husband's fault. I understand that OP was hurt and upset but to blame someone who had nothing to do with it or had never knew about her husband's feelings, OP 3 out 5. S2: Seriously it was a hug but tried to report OP to the police over a hug, I get he went through something but to lash out like he did WOW. I didn't see him cheating coming but kind of explained why he didn't want OP to touch him. I'm sorry for OP. S3: Wow OP is supposed to manage and train the new worker and it sounds like he couldn't handle a woman being in charge. He thinks he can program OP to say and do whatever he wants because he read a book.
One of my line managers asked me to 'manage up' more, but they just meant being more proactive about assigning my time and keeping them in the loop - basically giving me the go-ahead to take more initiative. Y'know, like a sensible and mutually respectful working relationship... not whatever that idiot employee thought he was doing.
*1st Story:* To the husband's credit, at least he admitted to falling for OP's sister as opposed to just trying to sleep with her. Is it less painful if your partner flat out tells you if they don't love you anymore rather than finding out the hard way they were unfaithful? I wouldn't know.
It can be, but as well, it could be worse. It depends on the person. Some would prefer the cheating because then they can fully emotionally detach and move on without really any negative emotions. Others, it's easier because they see it as "Hey, i love my partner too much to lose them. Let's work through this and make a better life for us both." It just depends on the person and the situation.
Are you forgetting that OP is also pregnant? Also he did that when he was drunk, but he sign another song when he is sober, in other words he lie and he knew that, OP sister never give a hint to OP husband to show that she was interesting, because she never was, why the f he think that the sister would eventually pick him instead of someone else? Does this guy know the story between OP and her sister? Do you think OP sister would betray her this way after everything that happen? OP husband get o credits he is a major a**hole and even a bigger loser end of story.
Second story: as someone who hates being touched and would absolutely find multiple hugs and cuddling a day to be ‘clingy’ - something sounds seriously wrong with that woman’s husband. His reaction is way out of proportion for the situation.
first story: OP describe her sister as her only family who took her in and even took hit from their dad when he was drunk and instead of stay with her sister, OP decided to not only blame sister and also take her husband back, OP it a horrible person
OP speaks about her sister like she's an absolute angel, but she's trying cut ties from the one person that wholeheartedly cared for her immediately but gave the dumbass that is the sole reason there's an issue in the first place another chance? And she literally knows the sister isn't even the issue so why does she get the short end of the stick?
@yngvi2003 from the comments I've seen about Story 1, it's not all black and white about that situation either. Amazing how easy it is to judge based on the little info we get.
1st story: I feel bad for op cause, now she ended up finding out that her husband only married her to get close to her sister. And now he's upset that he didn't cheat on his wife(op) with her sister when he got the chance after finding out she got pregnant with her fiance.
Apparently OP isn’t as innocent as everyone think as according to other comments there was another update where OP took her husband back and willing to stay with him, and cut contact with the sister. Apparently to some comments OP’s sister lost her baby and supposedly OP said she was happy her sister lost the baby, and apparently the original account that posted the story was deleted. Plus in the end of the last update OP showed some anger at her sister which is wrong as her sister is innocent but in the new update I’m now thinking OP does blame her sister and seem to hate her sister (if the comments are true OP is happy her sister lost her baby)
17:09 Personally, i would have said "you can expect in one hand and spit in the other. See which one fills up first." Although as a mechanic, I regularly say a word that sounds close to spit
The husband doesn't want to cheat on his mistress. She's 13 years younger than OPS husband. Glad the BIL threw his cheating brother to the wolves, cause he didn't like what his cheating brother was doing. Does this mistress think he has money or something? And yes I can see another post from OP when her EX tries to come back to her cause his young mistress realized he has money and tries to come back to OP when she leaves him for a man with deep pockets with millions to feel those pockets
Expectations: there are so many of those types of books out there, I'm kind of in the opposite position, the management of the company I work for was all in on "30 minute manager" and would recommend it to all up and coming managers, and I can always tell when somebody trained up with it, because it's very rare that they actually read the whole thing, and you can tell because if you actually read it, there's a lot more nuance then what the chapter titles would imply and usually what they implement is usually more in line with the chapter title for example the title of the book 30-minute Manager implies that you would only spend 30 minutes actually managing, when really the idea is that initially you spend a lot of time micromanaging your people are doing what they're supposed to be doing and then once you trust that they're doing things properly you should only have to spend a maximum of 30 minutes on each individual. my current manager's direct report make her make us waste our time to give these pointless updates, when she already knows that if there's any problem at all I'll be blowing up her or the account reps phone... the trainees yes that's the idea you need to make sure they know what they're doing but once they know what they're doing that should be the end of that. the other side of it is the things that she should actually be doing are things that she never does and her direct report never make sure that she's doing them, just these stupid unnecessary updates.
Last story (Expectations): I think OP should have found a book to give to the idiot, where it talks about how to be successful in their career by showing respect to others, including superiors. Or better yet, recommend it to him (for him to get himself). Something like, "Since you want to advance, a book that you might find interesting would be..." When he asks why, just pass it off as wanting him to have a chance at being successful, and how sometimes people "lose their way" due to promotions. Sort of a "Not saying you would do this, but this can still help you" offering. (Making sure to record all conversations.) If he tries to complain to HR, she can maintain that reasoning, saying that he showed signs of hurting his own career, and it was a way to help him learn. She can then provide examples of his behavior and watch as HR starts to look at him with a "Really!?" side glance, with him starting to realize that he just created a problem for himself.
S1: "Do you think she's more beautiful?" And OP is "conventionally more attractive", He side stepped anwsering that question. That's NOT a real anwser.
Jesus! The girl whose husband doesn’t want to be hugged unless he initiates, needs to tell him to get therapy, maybe she should get some too for his bs, then divorce him. I had an ex like that and he didn’t want touched because he was a cheater.
Story 1: sounds like the husband was suffering a break down thinking "what if I married the sister" and now regrets not following with that path after the engagement, doesn't excuse his actions though I don't view it as cheating personally (unless he did something we weren't told)
He didn't because if he try OP sister would put an end to that, see what OP sister did for her, what OP sister did for her wasn't small thing and after all that would She betray her? For what? Nothing happen between her ex husband and her sister, because the sister would allow that to happen so he doesn't try, but he still did cheat, but not in the tradicional way of the word and totally lie without issues.
I'm sorry but if your wife or husband gives you a hug because they are excited about an achievement and your reaction is to call the police, that's messed up.
Story 2: 11:47 I KNEW IT!!! I knew he was having an affair! I was like "he probably doesn't want OP to touch him because he's cheating on her..." and then the rest fell into place. He and his brother seriously gaslit OP enough to make her think she did something wrong by getting excited and giving him a hug. Awful. He was probably weaponizing her excited, loving nature against her, waiting for her to screw up and initiate a hug so that he could throw it back in her face.
Story 1: Losing sympathy for OP at the end there, she says she knows it's not her sister's fault, but that's not what the way she's talking tells us. That tells us she's outright taking it out on her sister, and seems to have some jealousy towards her. Ex-husband being a loser does NOT give you an excuse to start treating an innocent party with scorn. So that's teetering on the edge of also becoming an asshole like her husband.
Being attracted to more than one person is perfectly normal. It's the choices we make that matter. I hate that so many people don't understand that and get insecure when trying to discuss it.
Probably because what you’re describing is polyamory. OP did not sign up for polyamory and a husband using her to get closer to her own sister. It’s hurtful. It’s cruel. This is a VERY bad take.
The last one is super good! I need to be better about this myself but asking questions is usually a great way of stopping behavior like that. A lot of people think they're trying to do something and get so tunnel visioned they don't realize they aren't aiming for the goal anymore. Guy probably read that book to try and be a manager or be more effective at whatever he's doing and got so up his own butt about power tripping he lost the plot. Why are they doing whatever they're doing? What is the end goal of the conversation or statement? Why do you feel like you are more qualified to handle the situation? A LOT of people don't actually think that hard about what they're trying to do or if whatever they are doing is actually helpful to their goals. We all can get this way over things too lol
Last story: I ran in to the inverse of this back about 20 years ago. I was trying to move up in my organization and kept getting denied with no explanation, so I asked the general manager (several steps above me, but one of the decision makers) if he had any advice. He suggested I read "The One Minute Manager" to shift my supervisory style. For those who are unaware, the premise of this system is that workers know how to do their jobs and the best manager is hands-off. This is true, to an extent, in tech and office-related fields which is what the book is aimed at. It is not good advice for the service field, especially thew supervisor's job is explicitly to enforce rules. That was the point I decided to go back to school and switch careers.
So kinda of side rant commentary: The first two are older reddit stories and they kinda brought to the forefront of my mind this conspiracy theory of mine. For contect about 5 ish years ago there was a joke that "men always are in the wrong on reddit" and it wasn't in the "oh redditors always twist it to be the guys fault" the guys were just legitimately awful. R/relationships was just an insane example of guys posting "whats the best way to comfort my girlfriend after purposefully running over her cat because it annoyed me" and girls posting "my boyfriend hit me and i scratched him by accident when covering my face, how do i apologize?" I kinda feel like its because a lot of guys posting wanted validation and were so delusional they assumed everyone would agree with them because their enablers do and the girls were so isolated they turned to forums due to a lack of resources. But the the last couple years there have been more crappy girlfriend/wife stories or "what if the genders were reversed" type stories and im convinced half of them are fake at thus point because if how similar they are. It honestly feels like a bunch of alpha males and incels are posting like copy pastas to prove a point. And it's not that I think female abusers don't exist, But like if I went oh, have you heard of the Reddit story where op finds out her husband's in love with her sister? There's like two of those. If I go Did you hear about the Reddit story where op's husband tried to call the police on her because he hugged her. There's one of those. If I ask about the story where op's girlfriend got into a niche hobby and we're spending a lot of time on it and not with him and any update revealed that she was actually having an affair with someone else in the hobby. There's like 20 of those. If I asked about the story where op's wife started acting weirdly while she was pregnant and it turned out she was having an affair with her coworker. There's like 50 of those. Now if I specified that in the first post that she was a stay-at-home mom and then the last post she was having the fair was a co-worker. There is one of those. Like so many of the newer stories, especially when it's the woman who's the bad guy feels so copy pasta and boring. Be like it's happening with trans individuals as well. I swear I've seen like four different stories with the same concept being this parent is fully supportive of their trans kid, I will not in nearly all of them They do not understand trans terminology which kind of makes me doubt that, But the kid is being super unreasonable and changing the gold post and they tried to tell other they're being transphobic and are super ridiculous in using neopronouns and like the parents are now cutting them off after they've gone off to college and things like that. Like the only thing that changes is how exactly the kid is transgender and if the parent is a single parent or not. There is like no variation. This is probably a topic that involves an entire TH-cam video in of itself, but just something weird ive noticed and with these older stories that just have more details and that are more unique. It's like has the fake writing on Reddit gotten worse?
story 2: man the way i immediately knew what was actually going on from the very start, because i ACTUALLY have a trauma that makes me uneasy with most physical touch except when i first got together with my partner they were extremely understanding and would always make sure i was comfortable. if it was an accidental outburst of emotion, like in OPs case, they would apologize and make it up to me. eventually my mind and body got so used to their presence that i am actually clingy now :D meanwhile, OPs husband pretended to SUDDENLY be uncomfortable with touch after being with OP for who knows how long. this is NOT how this works, unless OP has violated him in some way.
Typical Karen rSlash behavior. "ItS a BiT dRy so I'm not gonna do my job and just read the post since it doesn't interest ME and IM the only one that matters!"
That doesn't matter, OP is as bad as he is, in the ideal world, she would divorce him, make peace with her sister and those kids (her kid and sister kid) would play together a couple of times, maybe everyone been happy, but in don't live in and ideal world, we live on the real world and everything I mention happen in reverse, OP sister have a misscariage and OP didn't care because she went NC with her sister and is still married to that a**hole. That is what I read in here a couple of if times in fact, maybe went Rslash Record this that update wasn't there maybe he will pick this story later.
Story 2, So instead of breaking up, you have to lie, not wanting to hurt your spouse is such a lie, because all of those things pulled are far worse, trying to get your spouse fired for an effing hug? I understand if it were true wanting phsycial space, etc, but a huge lie due to infidelity is manipulative and he could have just said "I'm not happy, let's talk." People really enjoy making things 100×s more difficult than they have to be. 🙄🙄🙄
Besides the absolute horrorshow of a situation this story is, one of the main things that always stood out to me in #1 is how the husband thought it was fine to use his wife - the devastated, injured party here -- for emotional support. Also, "I want to say goodbye _to your sister,_ not to you, my pregnant wife." Jesus.
Ill star by saying i love your videos, i watch every day (8 am my time) and you are my morning cup of coffee. I am also forever here to snootily correct you my friend. The gaslighting husband story you said "i wonder if they will prosocute for a false police report filed to get back at your wife" The wife didnt do shit, there is not "getting back at" its just 100%narcicisstic malicious behaviour. Once again, i love ya buddy and u know ur writing/reading is good when this is how deep you hafta dive to nitpick XP
Story1: is OP insane ? cutting only family because of something they didn't do ? OP need some Heavy therapy sessions. Story2: welp who would've guessed lol.
In story 1, rslash is not fair to husband. He isn't a cheater or a liar. He was actually honest in a situation that vast numbers of people are not (although his lack of emotional control may mean that he doesn't have a choice about that). He is a huge loser who is wrecking his life, his wife, and his kid. But at least he is removing himself. The many people who deliberately lie and cheat in this same situation are much worse. I'd argue that losers are better than han cheating liars, and it's super unfair to call the husband the latter.
Man I feel really bad for the sister, she didn’t deserve OP’s ire for what the husband did. And apparently OP ended up going back to him so yeah OP kinda sucks…
Last story: Guy probably read in chapter 1 of his book to say "My expectation is that you..." and he just frickin ran with it every single time. Makes me wonder what book it was, probably by some huckster because there's no way that anyone constantly saying, "My expectation is that you..." would make me change my mind. I'd just tell them I don't care what your expectation was, this is what we're doing.
Story 1: i feel bad for the op but this isnt an excuse to be mad at her sister its not her fault op married a scumbag I am trying to be empathetic but she needs to check that attitude of hers
Story 3: Dude clearly didn't pay for the platinum package and refer 10 people to the course before trying J. J. Scammington's Method of Mental Influence for Making Money. Just 69 more hours and he would have infinite money and infinite women tattooing their names on him.
@bubblegumsnowdrop can't forget about his brother in law John Q. Snakeoil, inventor of the highest quality Snake Oil. It's better than a 3-in-1 body wash at curing tummy aches.
The false aspect comes from the fact that he was there to report her for a crime of abuse, which as admitted he didn’t feel was abuse just a way to make her look bad.
13:30 technically he didn't file anything. I think he went to talk to them about filing one but they talked him out of it because of how stupid it was.
I checked the comments before listening to the whole story 1, and I was waiting for the part where OP blew up at her sister and called her anything but that didn't happen. Tbh, I actually understand OPs reaction. Is it bad that she's harboring unwanted jealousy towards her sister? Yes of course. But she says it herself, she doesn't know why she's feeling like that and she understands it's not her sister's fault. Like, OP KNOWS this isn't right, of course she doesn't want to be around her sister, not because of her, but because she has these feelings she doesn't know how to control. OP is GRIEVING the fact that she married a man who loves her sister more than her, thats the loss of a loved one and a future they were going to have. I also bet OP has no idea how to go about these feelings, of COURSE SHE SHOULDN'T HAVE HER SISTER AROUND IF SHE'S GONNA HAVE FEELINGS OF JEALOUSY SHE CAN'T TRAVERSE. Edit: aight, read more comments, saw the one that had the update, yeah OP sucks for doing this, screw me i guess for trying to have a nuanced take.
2- maybe I think that women isn't that stupid 1 - no, according to someone said that the story have one more update and it isn't good, one thing that didn't happen as a divorce.
I can't believe op is letting this ruin her relationship with her sister... its such a nasty thing to blame someone who has no fault in this over jealousy and resentment for someone else. Op is an awful person, especially after the update. Ops sister deserved a better sister.
@@keiththompson00789 of course there is, if you listened to the story you heard the man literally say that he loves OP's sister. that's like the biggest way to emotionally cheat on someone
Story 1 : I feel bad for op not only did she find her husband? Only married her to get close to her sister. He wants nothing to do with her daughter. And also strained the relationship with her sister I really hope she’s able to bounce back from this
There is comment here that talk about another update, you don't need to fell bad for OP anymore, because she bad as her husband (yeah she still married with him apparently), she also go NC with her sister, as for the sister She had a misscariage, not OP care about that, OP is the wrost person in the world. Remember everything that her sister did for her.
@ wait she wait no nc way the sister didn’t did anything wrong and she doesn’t even care what happened to her sister after what he did for her when there were younger
Story 1: This reminds me of the post where the husband falls in 'love'(lust) with his wife's boss. Then proceeds to stalk the boss to try and date her after he dumped his wife. OP needs to remember it isn't her sister's or her own fault that the guy went all crazy over someone else. Story 2: This post, I sincerely hope the husband has a wonderful 3~6 months with his affair partner, before the company fires him, or the affair partner leaves/cheats, or anything else which shows he made the wrong choice. Story 3: Ya, seems like he read a psychology for dummies book, and thought he could use that to control the workplace. If he thinks THAT was ballbusting, he's not suited for any level of authority in a workplace.
Well, OP made it her fault when she decided to stay with her "husband" and celebrated when she found out about her sister having a miscarriage. Sister doesn't even know about that because OP cut her off.
Rslash isn't me, but a couple of people said that the frist story have anothet update, you shoukd check that out and put that on your next video, doesn't matter what the video is about, you need to talk about that update if that update exist, just go check it.
I always thought the concept of “managing up“ was such a BS if I have to manage up that Manager is obviously not doing their job. Why would I do their job for them if it’s not within my pay grade?
I feel bad for OP in the first story. She definitely feels like she will never measure up to her sister, and now has a baby on the way and a husband who basically treated her like the second option and a gateway to being close to someone he could never have. For those wondering why she cut off her sister, my guess is that she knows her sister is faultless and is even being supportive of her, but because her husband has tainted that selfless behavior, she's disgusted by it. It WILL pass. I do not feel like calling her a butthole at the moment because she has pregnancy hormones going through her, and with some help from a therapist, if she keeps going to the therapist, she'll be able to unpack the disdain she has for how giving and selfless her sister is and blame her husband for ruining that for her. It can also come from thoughts that she could never be as selfless and supportive as her sister has been, which isn't a bad thing, but she envies it. The moment she moves away, she'll regret it. Eventually she will come around.
Story 1 OP:
You're an idiot for cutting off your only family. Your sister did nothing wrong and it just feels like you're punishing her for existing.
You're a dick for having no empathy. She knows it isn't her sisters fault but she needs time to get to terms with what happened. She is the most hurt party here now left to be a single mom after finding out her husband was in love with her sister. How is it so hard for you to have some damn empathy you.
Story 1: Apparently there's a reason this person's account has been deleted (the user listed on screen is incorrect). OP decided to get back with her husband, that threw her and their baby away, and go no contact with her sister. So yeah, she's not as nice and thoughtful as she would have liked people to believe. I feel so bad for the sister. Apparently at some point she lost the baby. I hope her and her fiance/husband are able to move on from all of this.
That's awful 😞
Wow. I really hope they conceive and its born healthy ❤ as for op, idc
wow... OP (the original) is spineless and she is NOT a good person to her sister.
Trash deserves trash.
I remember she was even happy that her sister lost the baby.
No one is surprised that the husband was cheating, but HE WENT TO THE COPS and threatened her job! Nah. I'ma go to the cops and see what they could do with him...
What gets me is his "I didn't want to hurt you directly with divorce" as though potentially ruining her career and giving her a police record isn't significantly worse.
Fr. Like, what type of sense does it make for you to be cheating and then try and have me arrested because you're too chicken to just admit that and leave?
I would drag him through the mud in the divorce. The cheating is bad enough but the audacity to actually go through with a police report and trying to get her fired over some BS is just too much.
@@RiveroftheWither No for real, that line is WILD. He's okay threatening... pretty much everything else in her life with false abuse allegations, but divorce is where he draws the line??? Wack.
Story 2: he didn’t wanna hurt OP with the truth and getting a divorce? But thought faking trauma, falsely accusing her of abuse, even making a false police report, and threatening her career by telling her boss was easier?
OP is a good person and he’s lucky she was done with his crap and his brother is smarter than him. Because second worst case scenario, she could have buried him with all of this information and taken far more than half of everything in the divorce.
Or if his bro didn’t stop him and he gone with his smear campaign. Where worse case scenario plays out , OP sue for defamation, get him arrested for reporting a fake crime, and he loses everything while becoming unemployable. He does not deserve to get off this easily, but still I applied OP for taking the high road and forcing on her instead.
its always more easier to blame others than taking responsability , painting yourself as the victim does not make you rot inside as much as does being the perpetrator
I see this as a story of the shoe being put on the other foot. How many times have men been arrested and jailed for doing exactly what OP did to her husband? Yet the cops tell this guy "we don't press charges for a spouse hugging you". Yet, if she were the one making the report, he would be handcuffed, and removed from his home, with no one believing that he just wanted to hug his wife to celebrate a promotion.
It's not right, and it's not justice, but there is at least one woman out there who now understands men who have been wronged by a false accusation.
@@FlanylShirtmanBrother that does not happen, those police would've dismissed Op of she were the one to make the report as well. Now, if either of them had reported actual rape or sexual assault that would be different
Thank you, exactly. People love to say they don't want to hurt the person (by doing the right thing) then do the worst things possible and hurt the person 1000×s more by lying and cheating rather than just being honest. And also cause themselves and their spouse way more stress and drama, it's so disgusting, unnecessary and manipulative.
@TheImaggine not to me, I'd rather just be honest and say I want to break up. I never saw any point in playing mind games and lying or cheating and also trying to get my spouse fired for no reason. Also cheating is lame, just break up and be single or at least, break up once you know you have feelings for someone else and it's becoming serious with the second person. People really like being manipulative for no reason and then end up making their lives and others more difficult. It's such a waste of time and it causes way more drama.and chaos to lie and cheat.
I hated that op1 would try to continue with his husband, but decided to cut contact with her sister
Love unfortunately makes us do stupid things
@@BubbleBunnyybut what about her love for her sister? She decided this and love csnt be used as an excuse
@@snaillicious7984 it can tho love for someone romantically and platonically and family is different. Im not excusing it at all, im just saying that love especially when you’re about to have a baby with that person can make you do dumb thing. Why do you think abusers are able to convince their partner to cut off contact with family members who are good to them? It sucks and I really hope through therapy or healing over time it doesn’t affect her relationship with her sister. I can’t imagine the hurt she’s feeling right now especially because she is pregnant with that man’s baby. I hope she heals, as well as her relationship with her sister. Looking at her and remembering she is “inferior” to her sister will hurt for a long time but she has to realize it’s not her sisters fault at all.
S1: So op was so willing to forgive her scummy ex just because she was desperate to keep him. She’s so used to to people taking care of her which is her fault because if anything her experience with her stepfather and help from her sister should have taught her to be independent.
But no. Instead she dated and married a guy similar to her sister only to find out that he also loved her sister because of her strength and resilience.
Qualities both lacking in op especially since her only concern was looks.
Op chose to forgive her turd of a husband because she needs him more than he wants her.
Her actions towards her sister is just selfish and cruel because her sister is a beautiful soul.
Basically she’s beautiful on the inside and outside.
She’s upset and punishing her own sister because op is butthurt about her selfish husband.
It seems that op and her ex actually have more in common character wise.
Neither have a problem hurting the people they claim to love.
Oh well op needs to get off of her arse because it’s time to grow up and start relying on yourself instead of always expecting someone else to take care of you.
Sounds alot like OP took after her "passive mother".
hopefully op 1 comes to her senses and doesn't continue to treat her sister so coldly because those last couple updates sound like she's starting to hold the same contempt for her sister that op's shitty ex had for op. what op is going through is heartbreaking but taking it out on her sister makes the sisters case just as heartbreaking
OP in general has revealed herself to be a pretty terrible person. The mask started slipping when she defended her husband's views about sister's fiance by saying, "To be fair, he's a carpenter while she's a pediatrician." As if a carpenter marrying a pediatrician defies a sacred caste system or something. I honestly wish she and her husband would stay together so that no good individual ever gets roped in by either of them.
@@wilhelminawill9495 OP did not say "to be fair, he's a carpenter while she's a pediatrician." Rslash, for whatever reason, added the "To be fair..." The original text implies that's how the husband feels, not OP.
Ah. I still find OP's behaviour regarding her sister to be problematic, but now I fear R/Slash might have problems he needs to dissect.
Unfortunately that's too late
Appearantly there was another update. Shes getting back with her husband, and is going No contact with her sister..
@@michaeljenkins178what an awful person
I really hope OP can take some time to work through her feelings the sister doesn’t deserve having OP take it out on her she’s completely innocent. It’s solely the ex husband’s fault.
agreed she most likely just needs some time
I agree... She tried couples therapy with her shitty ex husband, so I hope she continues therapy on her own and eventually come to terms with the fact her sister had nothing to do with this and that her sister is always there for her. Her sister isn't trying to be "perfect", she's trying to be there for OP because she loves her.
its better that she kept some distance, if she stayed, it would have gotten worse. op needs time to process her emotions on her own. the most the sister can do is ensure someone keeps an eye on op incase something happens.
@ I went to the post and didn’t see anything of that sorts lol what?? 🤣
@@kenenigans The sad part is, OP knows that. She knows her sister is only trying to help. But the ex-husband has poisoned that relationship. It's going to take time before OP sees it positively again.
Story 1: Bro, it's the ex-husband's fault entirely, why did OP have to take it out on the sister too? Sheesh, she's innocent in this!
yes the sister is innocent and I'm sure in time OP will see that but right now OP needs space as her sister (unwittingly and unwillingly) was placed in the role of "the other women" by OPs husband and is therefor tied to the pain and conflict OP is experiencing.
Its a kind of hate that festers deep and fast. Obviously she loves her but the anger is too loud.
She NEEDS to talk to someone, not just reddit. I hope her sister understands 😭❤️
She didn't "take it out" on her she just needed space. It's understandable.
@@Clyde-S-Wilcox she took it out on her. She hated being touched by her so most likely recoiled at her touch. She basically told her 'there, I told you, now get out and don't come back, I alone need to heal so don't contact me again.' And then in the end she said she hated that she had a "perfect life" and to F off. How's that not taking it out and blaming her?
Also, OP decides that toxic non-love is much better than her sister so she left and went back to her husband and went no contact with her sister. Apparently at some point the sister lost the baby so OP and their marriage counselor were going to work together to inform husband about it. So yeah, OP isn't the best type of person after all.
S2: this isn’t trauma. This is a cover up.
ETA: called it. Imagine wanting so badly to not be the “bad guy” that you’re willing to ruin someone’s entire life and career to hide your cheating, then saying it’s because you don’t want to hurt them directly.
Calling the cops is p direct, bud.
Right!!!! Jajajja when OP said..." I have an update, one that no one expected". All I could think was... hun, EVERYONE but you expected it
S2 He's cheating.
*Yep. Thought so. That sudden turn off of the love spigot is nearly always a sign that they're being "faithful" to someone else.
**Op should make notes and keep records of everything he says and does and give it to her lawyer. Especially his plan to make her look like the bad guy, in case he tries it in court.
I thought the same thing! As soon as he was going to the cops cause his wife hugged him out of excitement I knew it!
@dumasss1239 It was the "only I can initiate anything" line for me. Huge red flag right there.
@@MrsShocoTaco I kinda understand that, being tired and overwhelmed and not wanting touch, but the way he went about that even in the beginning was a huge red flag
@dumasss1239 Agreed. The hot to cold and weird attitude. The arrest threat was definitely the final straw in my book
“I’m willing to accept that he may divorce me over this”. Is she f’ing crazy?? This is her husband who completely banned her from touching him and then actually went to the police to try to get her recorded as a sex offender?? He also then said he was going to tell her work so trying to destroy any kind of career in that field. So because he’s a cheating POS, he set out to absolutely ruin his wife’s life. Why on earth hadn’t she already asked for a divorce when he did that? I couldn’t ever be with someone like that and I would definitely make it as hard as possible on him if my husband did that to me - why give him the quick divorce he wants and allow him to get away with what he did? I definitely would be finding and messaging the new sucker he’s seeing, I would report him to the police for the fact that he filed a false police report. If nothing criminal happens from it, then maybe a civil case for slander?
@@Outnumberedbykidsandcats nice to know that you’ve never been in a situation where you’ve questioned yourself wondering if you’re in the wrong and convincing yourself that you are even though you weren’t in the end, wish I could say the same!!
He's crazy and trying to take a "preemptive strike" so she wouldn't have anything or anyone to help her. He's that level of psychotic.
It's sadly not uncommon for people (usually but not always men) to act like an AH to get their spouse to initiate divorce so they don't have to be the bad guy.
I suspect it's at least partially responsible for the "women initiate 70% of divorces" figure.
@@HackiePuffs Yeah, I have an Ex-Friend who hasn't gotten the message that we're no longer friends. And the "friendship," if you even call it that, was Toxic at best and borderline Abusive at worst. It got so bad with the Gaslighting and the Severe Mood Swings, where he would be fine one moment, SCREAMING at me for 15 minutes, and then completely fine like nothing happened the next!
I'm just going to ignore his messages from now on!
@ yikes I’ve had an old friendship with those vibes (not really yelling or lashing out just a lot of guilt tripping and violating personal boundaries and he just wouldn’t get the hint) so I feel ya. That’s actually the main incident I was referring to in my OG reply because I was genuinely convinced I was the bad guy/problem until my current friends told me my feelings were valid. Good call on not responding to them anymore just stay safe, gather evidence in case you might need it, and I wish you the best of luck hopefully you’ll be able to stop dealing with them eventually 💙
Story 3: "I was just trying to help" Literally trying to manipulate OP into doing drastic stuff and acting condescending.
Help? Nah, none of his ideas would have helped
The way OOP disarmed him with that "Why would you expect that?" question was glorious.
Not all carpenters build walls for new homes. Carpentry is a skilled trade that takes a lot of training. The Notre Dame Cathedral just reopened this morning. There were a lot of carpenters involved in that rebuild. Not many were interested in 16" on center. A carpenter seems like a catch to me.
Yeah. Carpentry is a craft, a trade. Hell one of the most worshipped figures ever was a carpenter himself, and his name was Jesus.
Carpentry is a highly skilled trade, and often does phenomenally well financially. I've got way too much school education, but I truly encourage young people to investigate going into the trades if they don't love college. A skilled tradesman is a great catch.
Absolutely! Carpentry is an extremely respectable career, but a lot of people really seem to stick their nose at trades. It's such a disservice to the field, when the people within have a lot of skill and knowledge behind what they do.
Carpentry is an amazing craft and the guy in that story was literally jealous of the sister's husband because he just wanted the sister and was throwing hate because it wasn't him. He was being a turd.
Story 2: Honestly, him lying to the employer (if he did that), which could get OP fired in the worst case scenario, could actually be grounds for a lawsuit from OP. It would have been a lot better and easier to just admit from the get-go that he is having an affair, but whatever
In a crazy way, him having an affair is almost a relief. He would literally crazy otherwise.
@@eric98292 I disagree. He's literally crazy either way.
Everyone is quick to point out potential lawsuits, but no one actually does it because it's such a long stressful process that's not even worth going through at the end in 99% of cases.
@@codyjohnson6427 In a situation where she's gonna divorce him and it's a clear cut easy victory it'd probably be better for her to file a lawsuit.
Make his actions and motive well known and documented so her lawyer has an easier time making sure he gets his butt handed to him in the divorce. Especially so he can't go spreading another fake story about her. He tried to call the cops on her once, I wouldn't put it passed him to make up something else to try and save face if he realizes he'll be a social pariah once the story gets out.
Story 1: why tf is Op punishing her sister for what her pos husband did to her and her daughter
She's still extremely emotional and probably, definitely, needs some distance from the unrest. Her sister did nothing wrong ofc but it is the husband's crush on her sister that's the cause of distress.
Hopefully when she has calmed down she can rekindle.
She's not. She's mourning the loss of her marriage, her husband and her child's father. She's pregnant scared. She's hormonal. She's emotional and she's had her entire world explode in her face and what seems to be about a month worth of time. She's facing the rest of her life in single motherhood. And we all know how society loves to judge single mothers. When someone asks you for space you need to respect it. And sending them a text message is not respecting that. I'm not saying that the sister isn't coming from a good place cuz she obviously is. But needing space and time to process your emotions is not punishing someone. It's being human. In a rather difficult situation
@@HobieInTheBox being ;'extremely emotional' is not an excuse. OP is fucked up
@topasu9454
No, that's not what I said, calm down. Im answering the original question with a theory that makes sense with the context of the story. I even reiterate the sister did nothing wrong.
@@topasu9454absolutely. When she said how angry she was with her it was unfair enough because the sister did nothing wrong. When she then went on to say she ignored her text message because “she hates it when she is just so perfect” then I lost a ton of sympathy for her. Her poor sister did nothing wrong and yet she is getting the blame from her sister who she thought she had a good relationship with. That’s just horrible and I’ve never done horrid things while I was pregnant and then blamed it on hormones. You are still responsible for your actions even if you are hormonal.
Story 2 - She 100% NEEDS to file a police report on him filing a false police report. A hug in a marriage does not constitute charging and arresting OP however filing a false police report to get out of your marriage because you're a dirty cheater is most definitely a chargeable offense. She can rake this schmuck over the coals big time via the police and the courts.
I was involved in a hit and run where the guy who hit me said it wasn't him because his truck had been stolen and then abandoned after the accident. He filed the police report. The real reason he didn't want to get caught up at the scene of the accident was because he was driving on a suspended license. They had him dead to rights though that it was indeed him because of a witness at the scene and being told by the witness to call 911 so they had him. He did time in actual jail because of the hit and run but mainly for filing the false police report. The cop who had helped me through this whole ordeal told me had he stayed at the scene, they would not have thrown him in jail for the suspended drivers license. He would have had to show up to court but he would not have been arrested. Moral of the story. Do not file obviously fake police reports (where you did so knowingly).
There's another update to story 1. Basically she's NC with her sister (no fault of the sister) and basically op living in a delusion that her and her husband are a happy family. The sister had a miscarriage and op doesn't care. She says she hates her sister (love-hate) and seems like it basically jealousy that Op will never be as good as her sister.
Wait, so that means that OP is still marriage with that a**hole of a husband? The same that said that love her sister and said doesn't want to have anything to do with her daugther? Can we go back in the past I let OP get beat up by her drunk stepdad? Because that didn't happen to her because of her sister.
Wow that's terrible and she is sounding like a huge jerk when the sister did nothing wrong. The same husband cried because sister had a baby, husband called sisters husband a lover and wished he slept with her, said he loved her more than wife and this chicken picks him over the sister that protected her from abuse. Wow that is so messed up. I guess they deserve each other.
@yazajag she's gonna learn the hard way the husband is not changed and IS going to in fact betray her again. She's delusional and I hope this is fake because no way she goes "thanks for your support" most people are against her
Story 1 there is somthing off. OP calls her sister little miss perfect. Her sister did nothing wrong. The husband is bad but i feel like OP is leaving things out/ making herself sound better. Something just feels off.
Story 1: Op's sister is the kind of sister I wanted to be. Maybe I was too young when my sister and I were going through similar crap. But I hope OP is able to get through this. The one line of "this too shall pass" feels good for this story
apparently there’s another update and OP decided to stay with her husband and cut contact with her sister. Also I seen a few comments mention that OP’s sister lost her baby and supposedly OP wrote she was happy her sister lost her baby. So yeah supposedly OP is terrible and picked her lame husband over her caring sister, I guess she and her husband are truly a match for each other.
@@Krystal40553 I really really hope that's not true. But knowing the world and people I can also see that being the truth
@@oceanspace7671 I found the update. I posted the whole entire update including some comments OP made and yeah, it seems like OP was always jealous of her sister since she mentioned that she hopes to stay far away from her as she’s afraid that her kids will like her sister more than her like everyone else in her life does. So it’s implied OP’s always been jealous of her sister. She seems to show little care about her sister’s recent miscarriage.
Story 1 blows my mind. He tells OOP not to "do this to yourself" and asks her not to tell anyone and says he thinks the marriage can be saved. Of course HE thinks it can be saved, because he's the one that's in the wrong! Why would OOP even go to counseling? If our husband loves someone else, there's no counseling that will save that. And now OOP is abandoning her sister for no reason. She's doing absolutely everything wrong here, but I hope she at least goes after the ex for child support.
Filing a false police report is a serious offense and in some jurisdictions could be a felony.
I'm not sure he actually filed a report. Sounds more like he walked in and said "my wife hugged me! I'm pressing charges!" and they said "Sir, we're not gonna do that."
Most jurisdiction it’s a felony, it’s just not enforced because they’re woman
@@Clyde-S-Wilcox "Sir, this is a Wendy's." XD
@@bluestreaker9242😂😂😂 🍔 🍟
There’s another update on Story 1, copied from the subreddit:
My husband and I are back together. Thank you for all the support and wish us luck.
*Update 6*
My husband has been going to intensive therapy and we were talking to each other almost every night. He told me that he wasn't being himself when he told me that he didn't want me or our baby anymore. He wasn't feeling well but he is now working intensively on himself to sort out his problems and figure out the reasons why he would tell me something this devastating.
My husband like me carries a lot of trauma from his childhood. I fully understand him and I believe him when he says that he didn't mean the hurtful things he told me (see my post). I also believe he could be a better person with therapy and I believe that he loves me and my our baby. Last weekend he came home and we spent the whole weekend together. He was the same loving and caring husband I've fallen for. I love him and I truly believe what l'm seeing now is his true self. He helped me pack my things and we have moved out to our new city and new apartment. I feel butterflies in my stomach like we're newly in love. He starts his new job September first so until then he's just mine. We've been on dates and he's shown me our new city. He tells me he loves me every morning and every night and he makes love to me with passion l've never felt before. I'm just so happy. My baby will be born with her parents both have luggage but both willing to do whatever to make it work.
As of my sister. I haven't spoken to her since dinner she had in my house with her fiancé. I was clear that she wasn't allowed to contact me again but l've noticed her the first few days coming by to see that everything was okay, without daring to knock on my door. And I just felt so much hate (lovehate) towards her. She will always be a constant reminder of the pain from the past. I'm a big girl now. I don't need her sleeping at my door to be the one who took my step fathers wrath. I hate her for doing this. She had a miscarriage earlier this week. I found that out through a mutual friend because my sister has deleted all her media since we last talked. We need to concentrate on our little family now. She's not a part of it. I love her and I don't resent her and maybe in the future we can be sisters again but I don't want anything to do with her right now. I have blocked her and her fiancé's numbers and so did my husband.
I hope everything is fine with you guys and please wish me happiness because I finally can see that in my future. Before you call me cruel I will end on a more positive note. My sister's plan for eloping are still on. So her fiancé is at least serious in marrying her and not only wanted it because they got pregnant when they're still dating.
*Edit:*
I'm sorry that I have upset all of you. I thought I was making an update and sharing my joy in reuniting with my husband and giving my daughter a whole home. It was breaking my heart that I was going to offer my daughter a broken home before she was even born.
I love my sister deeply. I've always said she's the better person and you guys told me otherwise. That I was putting her on a pedestal. What change now I chose my happiness?
*hopefully final update Edit*
I've emailed my husband's shrink and therapist about my sister's situation. I got an answer now. We're telling my husband today about her misfortune. I'm not doing it by myself. Now I'm going to log off and live my life in peace. My husband and I are both ready for our baby. I know that the moment she's here we'll be the happiest on earth and we will give her what we both lacked. As for my sister, I will always love her. And if I know her well she will be happy for us and would understand my situation and have compassion.
Have a nice day
*Comments OP made:*
"She will be fine. More than fine. She has a great fiancé and his family who adore her more than anyone can imagine. She is strong and she'll be fine"
“I do have compassion I didn't mean she's fine about this. But In general. I know this incident is awful but I don't know what help I can be plus I didn't cause it. I need to think of my family now. I desperately want my baby to have the best life. I don't want any negativity around her"
"She has her fiancé and his family around her. I can't have any contact with her now in case she thinks I want a relationship with her"
"I don't want her to be a part of my child/ children's life, because I don't want to risk my children loving her more like every single person in my life"
*When asked if the stress of being being blamed and shun by OP could cause the miscarriage OP replied:*
“That's not true. Don't blame something this awful on us"
"I'm not punishing her for anything. If she's not feeling well right now it's for obvious reasons and also because she goes into periods of depression from time to time. I know she's on sick leave until October.
She's refusing to leave her bed but she has a lu of people who love her around her. What would she think if her happily pregnant sister comes to visit with her healthy belly? It would devastate her.
She is best left alone right now without reminder if what she's lost"
"He will not be unfaithful. He has never cheated on me. And my sister would never cheat on her fiancé.
I just don't think this is relevant to our lives. Women miscarry all the time. She will he pregnant again soon. Or maybe she could wait now since this all wasn't planned and happened less than a year from meeting her fiancé soon husband"
*When asked would she still think the same if she lost her baby, OP said:*
"Im almost 34 weeks now
She was 13
It's not the same thing at all"
"It wasn't planned I. It just happened and it rushed all her plans of engagement and marriage. Mine is planned and awaited"
Her husband is going to cheat on her. 100%. And then she'll be all shocked pikachu face. I just hope for her sake that when she inevitably runs back to her sister that her sister will have the grace to forgive her, because I sure as hell wouldn't.
@@StefisgardenI hope for the sister's sake that she doesn't forgive OP. Though you can guarantee she'll be running her mouth about her sister "abandoning her" if she doesn't.
Yeah, the last couple lines of the last post RSlash read had me do a double take at OP, and this update makes it even worse. She doesn't want her sister in her life because "I don't want to risk my children loving her more like every single person in my life..." OP's going to regret it when her husband falls for someone else and things become even worse than before, but this time she won't have the one family member that loves her because she went NC with her for no good reason.
Physical affection story: I really hope OP takes her ex to the friggin cleaners cause omg. 'I didn't want to hurt you directly!' Lmao, no, he didn't want to be a big boy and either A) be faithful like he vowed or B) break up with OP before he decided to cheat. I hope she returns the favor and tells his job that he's screwing an intern cause I don't think that's looked fondly upon. Also, if he 'didn't want to hurt her' why TF would he go so far to ruin her life? He was trying to get her fired and even ARRESTED! So not only is he a lying, cheating moronic POS but you can add, more spineless then a friggin' jellyfish. I cannot wait for the intern to cheat on him (cause she will) and for Karma will come for him and it will be glorious 😇
S1:Its not the sister's fault that OP's husband developed feelings for her. OP had no reason to lash out at her sister because it was her husband's fault. I understand that OP was hurt and upset but to blame someone who had nothing to do with it or had never knew about her husband's feelings, OP 3 out 5. S2: Seriously it was a hug but tried to report OP to the police over a hug, I get he went through something but to lash out like he did WOW. I didn't see him cheating coming but kind of explained why he didn't want OP to touch him. I'm sorry for OP. S3: Wow OP is supposed to manage and train the new worker and it sounds like he couldn't handle a woman being in charge. He thinks he can program OP to say and do whatever he wants because he read a book.
Story 3: "Managing up" = insubordination. This is an HR matter and should end with him being fired.
One of my line managers asked me to 'manage up' more, but they just meant being more proactive about assigning my time and keeping them in the loop - basically giving me the go-ahead to take more initiative. Y'know, like a sensible and mutually respectful working relationship... not whatever that idiot employee thought he was doing.
*1st Story:* To the husband's credit, at least he admitted to falling for OP's sister as opposed to just trying to sleep with her. Is it less painful if your partner flat out tells you if they don't love you anymore rather than finding out the hard way they were unfaithful? I wouldn't know.
It can be, but as well, it could be worse. It depends on the person. Some would prefer the cheating because then they can fully emotionally detach and move on without really any negative emotions. Others, it's easier because they see it as "Hey, i love my partner too much to lose them. Let's work through this and make a better life for us both." It just depends on the person and the situation.
Yeah after he got drunk like a coward. He couldn't even do it sober
@detictivecastielmalfoy4220 There's a reason alcohol is nicknamed "liquid courage."
Are you forgetting that OP is also pregnant? Also he did that when he was drunk, but he sign another song when he is sober, in other words he lie and he knew that, OP sister never give a hint to OP husband to show that she was interesting, because she never was, why the f he think that the sister would eventually pick him instead of someone else? Does this guy know the story between OP and her sister? Do you think OP sister would betray her this way after everything that happen? OP husband get o credits he is a major a**hole and even a bigger loser end of story.
Story 1 :
.. WHY is OP punishing her sister? What the hell.
11:00 divorce him, he's nuts
Second story: as someone who hates being touched and would absolutely find multiple hugs and cuddling a day to be ‘clingy’ - something sounds seriously wrong with that woman’s husband. His reaction is way out of proportion for the situation.
first story: OP describe her sister as her only family who took her in and even took hit from their dad when he was drunk and instead of stay with her sister, OP decided to not only blame sister and also take her husband back, OP it a horrible person
OP speaks about her sister like she's an absolute angel, but she's trying cut ties from the one person that wholeheartedly cared for her immediately but gave the dumbass that is the sole reason there's an issue in the first place another chance?
And she literally knows the sister isn't even the issue so why does she get the short end of the stick?
Story 1: OP's husband is a silly irrational doofus.
Story 2: OP's husband is also a silly irrational doofus.
And according to updates: Story 1's OP is delusional.
@yngvi2003 from the comments I've seen about Story 1, it's not all black and white about that situation either. Amazing how easy it is to judge based on the little info we get.
My response would’ve been, “my expectation will be for you to sit down, shut up, and stop telling me what your expectations are.”
1st story: I feel bad for op cause, now she ended up finding out that her husband only married her to get close to her sister. And now he's upset that he didn't cheat on his wife(op) with her sister when he got the chance after finding out she got pregnant with her fiance.
I would tell OP if she did at like and a**hole, OP and her ex husband were made for each other, both are a**holes.
Apparently OP isn’t as innocent as everyone think as according to other comments there was another update where OP took her husband back and willing to stay with him, and cut contact with the sister. Apparently to some comments OP’s sister lost her baby and supposedly OP said she was happy her sister lost the baby, and apparently the original account that posted the story was deleted. Plus in the end of the last update OP showed some anger at her sister which is wrong as her sister is innocent but in the new update I’m now thinking OP does blame her sister and seem to hate her sister (if the comments are true OP is happy her sister lost her baby)
17:09 Personally, i would have said "you can expect in one hand and spit in the other. See which one fills up first."
Although as a mechanic, I regularly say a word that sounds close to spit
Expect and expectorate, if you want something that has some more ring to it. XD
Heh! Brilliant! I like that! XD
"I'm in love with someone else" no matter who the someone is, should be a deal breaker.
*for a monogamist
I love how on a subreddit called 'Best of redditor updates' Dabney is so lazy and uncaring that he doesnt care about reading a part of a victims story
The husband doesn't want to cheat on his mistress. She's 13 years younger than OPS husband. Glad the BIL threw his cheating brother to the wolves, cause he didn't like what his cheating brother was doing. Does this mistress think he has money or something? And yes I can see another post from OP when her EX tries to come back to her cause his young mistress realized he has money and tries to come back to OP when she leaves him for a man with deep pockets with millions to feel those pockets
Expectations: there are so many of those types of books out there, I'm kind of in the opposite position, the management of the company I work for was all in on "30 minute manager" and would recommend it to all up and coming managers, and I can always tell when somebody trained up with it, because it's very rare that they actually read the whole thing, and you can tell because if you actually read it, there's a lot more nuance then what the chapter titles would imply and usually what they implement is usually more in line with the chapter title for example the title of the book 30-minute Manager implies that you would only spend 30 minutes actually managing, when really the idea is that initially you spend a lot of time micromanaging your people are doing what they're supposed to be doing and then once you trust that they're doing things properly you should only have to spend a maximum of 30 minutes on each individual. my current manager's direct report make her make us waste our time to give these pointless updates, when she already knows that if there's any problem at all I'll be blowing up her or the account reps phone... the trainees yes that's the idea you need to make sure they know what they're doing but once they know what they're doing that should be the end of that. the other side of it is the things that she should actually be doing are things that she never does and her direct report never make sure that she's doing them, just these stupid unnecessary updates.
The fact that the first op kept saying “my baby” and not “our baby” says a lot about
1st op REALLY needs some self-respect.
11:53 Oh, who could've seen that coming
Last story (Expectations): I think OP should have found a book to give to the idiot, where it talks about how to be successful in their career by showing respect to others, including superiors. Or better yet, recommend it to him (for him to get himself). Something like, "Since you want to advance, a book that you might find interesting would be..." When he asks why, just pass it off as wanting him to have a chance at being successful, and how sometimes people "lose their way" due to promotions. Sort of a "Not saying you would do this, but this can still help you" offering. (Making sure to record all conversations.) If he tries to complain to HR, she can maintain that reasoning, saying that he showed signs of hurting his own career, and it was a way to help him learn. She can then provide examples of his behavior and watch as HR starts to look at him with a "Really!?" side glance, with him starting to realize that he just created a problem for himself.
S1: "Do you think she's more beautiful?" And OP is "conventionally more attractive", He side stepped anwsering that question. That's NOT a real anwser.
Story 2: It's always an affair...
Story 3: Yeah, that's not what managing up is.
Jesus! The girl whose husband doesn’t want to be hugged unless he initiates, needs to tell him to get therapy, maybe she should get some too for his bs, then divorce him. I had an ex like that and he didn’t want touched because he was a cheater.
Story 1: sounds like the husband was suffering a break down thinking "what if I married the sister" and now regrets not following with that path after the engagement, doesn't excuse his actions though I don't view it as cheating personally (unless he did something we weren't told)
He one-sidedly had emotional feelings for OP's sister.
He didn't because if he try OP sister would put an end to that, see what OP sister did for her, what OP sister did for her wasn't small thing and after all that would She betray her? For what? Nothing happen between her ex husband and her sister, because the sister would allow that to happen so he doesn't try, but he still did cheat, but not in the tradicional way of the word and totally lie without issues.
Rslash, can you please read the whole story, even if you think it's dry? It can have key info or answer some questions
At the end of the first story I really didn’t like OP being a bit un-rational to her sister, Op needs to work on herself
Get "back" at her for what? Not being his 21 year old, intern, affair partner? That gal is in MAJOR danger with this disgusting creature.
I'm sorry but if your wife or husband gives you a hug because they are excited about an achievement and your reaction is to call the police, that's messed up.
Story 2: 11:47 I KNEW IT!!! I knew he was having an affair! I was like "he probably doesn't want OP to touch him because he's cheating on her..." and then the rest fell into place. He and his brother seriously gaslit OP enough to make her think she did something wrong by getting excited and giving him a hug. Awful. He was probably weaponizing her excited, loving nature against her, waiting for her to screw up and initiate a hug so that he could throw it back in her face.
Story 1: Losing sympathy for OP at the end there, she says she knows it's not her sister's fault, but that's not what the way she's talking tells us. That tells us she's outright taking it out on her sister, and seems to have some jealousy towards her. Ex-husband being a loser does NOT give you an excuse to start treating an innocent party with scorn. So that's teetering on the edge of also becoming an asshole like her husband.
Especially after everything her sister did for OP.
Story 2 had me wearing the most disgusted frown learning that OPs husband tried to ruin her pife becaise she hugged him out of excitement
Man thinks “my expectation for you” is the same thing as “would you kindly”
Last story: sounds like the manager watched too much "Office Space".
Being attracted to more than one person is perfectly normal. It's the choices we make that matter.
I hate that so many people don't understand that and get insecure when trying to discuss it.
Probably because what you’re describing is polyamory. OP did not sign up for polyamory and a husband using her to get closer to her own sister. It’s hurtful. It’s cruel. This is a VERY bad take.
The last one is super good! I need to be better about this myself but asking questions is usually a great way of stopping behavior like that. A lot of people think they're trying to do something and get so tunnel visioned they don't realize they aren't aiming for the goal anymore. Guy probably read that book to try and be a manager or be more effective at whatever he's doing and got so up his own butt about power tripping he lost the plot. Why are they doing whatever they're doing? What is the end goal of the conversation or statement? Why do you feel like you are more qualified to handle the situation? A LOT of people don't actually think that hard about what they're trying to do or if whatever they are doing is actually helpful to their goals. We all can get this way over things too lol
Last Story - That guy obviously has narcissistic tendencies. My oldest brother is the same way. I think it stems from deeply-rooted insecurity.
Last story: I ran in to the inverse of this back about 20 years ago. I was trying to move up in my organization and kept getting denied with no explanation, so I asked the general manager (several steps above me, but one of the decision makers) if he had any advice. He suggested I read "The One Minute Manager" to shift my supervisory style. For those who are unaware, the premise of this system is that workers know how to do their jobs and the best manager is hands-off. This is true, to an extent, in tech and office-related fields which is what the book is aimed at. It is not good advice for the service field, especially thew supervisor's job is explicitly to enforce rules.
That was the point I decided to go back to school and switch careers.
So kinda of side rant commentary:
The first two are older reddit stories and they kinda brought to the forefront of my mind this conspiracy theory of mine.
For contect about 5 ish years ago there was a joke that "men always are in the wrong on reddit" and it wasn't in the "oh redditors always twist it to be the guys fault" the guys were just legitimately awful. R/relationships was just an insane example of guys posting "whats the best way to comfort my girlfriend after purposefully running over her cat because it annoyed me" and girls posting "my boyfriend hit me and i scratched him by accident when covering my face, how do i apologize?"
I kinda feel like its because a lot of guys posting wanted validation and were so delusional they assumed everyone would agree with them because their enablers do and the girls were so isolated they turned to forums due to a lack of resources.
But the the last couple years there have been more crappy girlfriend/wife stories or "what if the genders were reversed" type stories and im convinced half of them are fake at thus point because if how similar they are.
It honestly feels like a bunch of alpha males and incels are posting like copy pastas to prove a point.
And it's not that I think female abusers don't exist, But like if I went oh, have you heard of the Reddit story where op finds out her husband's in love with her sister? There's like two of those.
If I go Did you hear about the Reddit story where op's husband tried to call the police on her because he hugged her. There's one of those.
If I ask about the story where op's girlfriend got into a niche hobby and we're spending a lot of time on it and not with him and any update revealed that she was actually having an affair with someone else in the hobby. There's like 20 of those.
If I asked about the story where op's wife started acting weirdly while she was pregnant and it turned out she was having an affair with her coworker. There's like 50 of those. Now if I specified that in the first post that she was a stay-at-home mom and then the last post she was having the fair was a co-worker. There is one of those.
Like so many of the newer stories, especially when it's the woman who's the bad guy feels so copy pasta and boring.
Be like it's happening with trans individuals as well. I swear I've seen like four different stories with the same concept being this parent is fully supportive of their trans kid, I will not in nearly all of them They do not understand trans terminology which kind of makes me doubt that, But the kid is being super unreasonable and changing the gold post and they tried to tell other they're being transphobic and are super ridiculous in using neopronouns and like the parents are now cutting them off after they've gone off to college and things like that. Like the only thing that changes is how exactly the kid is transgender and if the parent is a single parent or not.
There is like no variation.
This is probably a topic that involves an entire TH-cam video in of itself, but just something weird ive noticed and with these older stories that just have more details and that are more unique. It's like has the fake writing on Reddit gotten worse?
story 2: man the way i immediately knew what was actually going on from the very start, because i ACTUALLY have a trauma that makes me uneasy with most physical touch
except when i first got together with my partner they were extremely understanding and would always make sure i was comfortable. if it was an accidental outburst of emotion, like in OPs case, they would apologize and make it up to me. eventually my mind and body got so used to their presence that i am actually clingy now :D
meanwhile, OPs husband pretended to SUDDENLY be uncomfortable with touch after being with OP for who knows how long. this is NOT how this works, unless OP has violated him in some way.
Typical Karen rSlash behavior. "ItS a BiT dRy so I'm not gonna do my job and just read the post since it doesn't interest ME and IM the only one that matters!"
Yay just as I was looking for a video to listen to while I tidy the house.
As the son of a very loving, loyal, supportive, strong and hardworking carpenter, the first story pissed me off way more than it should have
2:37 I suppose on the bright side at least OPs husband was honest and didn't try too cheat with the sister but this is still messed up
That doesn't matter, OP is as bad as he is, in the ideal world, she would divorce him, make peace with her sister and those kids (her kid and sister kid) would play together a couple of times, maybe everyone been happy, but in don't live in and ideal world, we live on the real world and everything I mention happen in reverse, OP sister have a misscariage and OP didn't care because she went NC with her sister and is still married to that a**hole. That is what I read in here a couple of if times in fact, maybe went Rslash Record this that update wasn't there maybe he will pick this story later.
Story 2, So instead of breaking up, you have to lie, not wanting to hurt your spouse is such a lie, because all of those things pulled are far worse, trying to get your spouse fired for an effing hug? I understand if it were true wanting phsycial space, etc, but a huge lie due to infidelity is manipulative and he could have just said "I'm not happy, let's talk." People really enjoy making things 100×s more difficult than they have to be. 🙄🙄🙄
Besides the absolute horrorshow of a situation this story is, one of the main things that always stood out to me in #1 is how the husband thought it was fine to use his wife - the devastated, injured party here -- for emotional support. Also, "I want to say goodbye _to your sister,_ not to you, my pregnant wife." Jesus.
Good morning everyone! I hope you slept well!
Ill star by saying i love your videos, i watch every day (8 am my time) and you are my morning cup of coffee. I am also forever here to snootily correct you my friend. The gaslighting husband story you said "i wonder if they will prosocute for a false police report filed to get back at your wife"
The wife didnt do shit, there is not "getting back at" its just 100%narcicisstic malicious behaviour.
Once again, i love ya buddy and u know ur writing/reading is good when this is how deep you hafta dive to nitpick XP
1- Girl, don't lose your sister over a loser’s actions!
Story1: is OP insane ? cutting only family because of something they didn't do ?
OP need some Heavy therapy sessions.
Story2: welp who would've guessed lol.
In story 1, rslash is not fair to husband. He isn't a cheater or a liar. He was actually honest in a situation that vast numbers of people are not (although his lack of emotional control may mean that he doesn't have a choice about that).
He is a huge loser who is wrecking his life, his wife, and his kid. But at least he is removing himself.
The many people who deliberately lie and cheat in this same situation are much worse.
I'd argue that losers are better than han cheating liars, and it's super unfair to call the husband the latter.
Man I feel really bad for the sister, she didn’t deserve OP’s ire for what the husband did. And apparently OP ended up going back to him so yeah OP kinda sucks…
Last story: Guy probably read in chapter 1 of his book to say "My expectation is that you..." and he just frickin ran with it every single time. Makes me wonder what book it was, probably by some huckster because there's no way that anyone constantly saying, "My expectation is that you..." would make me change my mind. I'd just tell them I don't care what your expectation was, this is what we're doing.
Story 1: i feel bad for the op but this isnt an excuse to be mad at her sister its not her fault op married a scumbag I am trying to be empathetic but she needs to check that attitude of hers
Oh gosh, I really hope that first OP and her sister get therapy together. Don't let that AH ex husband ruin the only family tie she has.😢
Dude in the last story was really just trying to go all "Would you kindly " on OP.
OP1: "[My husband and sister are] both very calm and kind."
Narrator: They were, in fact, *not* _both_ calm _or_ kind.
The sister absolutely was kind!
OP herself was an asshole, jealous of her sister!
The sister did nothing wrong!
OP did!
Story 3: Dude clearly didn't pay for the platinum package and refer 10 people to the course before trying J. J. Scammington's Method of Mental Influence for Making Money. Just 69 more hours and he would have infinite money and infinite women tattooing their names on him.
J.J Scammington has me rolling on the floor 🤣 10/10 comment honestly, made my day and I just woke up like an hour ago
@bubblegumsnowdrop can't forget about his brother in law John Q. Snakeoil, inventor of the highest quality Snake Oil. It's better than a 3-in-1 body wash at curing tummy aches.
I love R/Slash in the morning
2pm here - what time is it where you are?
@
9 am 😊
5am here in Alaska =) I too enjoy Rslash in the morning
On your comment for the second story, that doesn't constitute a false police report. She did, in fact, hug him.
Also, from the sound of it he couldn't even file an actual report and was just turned away by the cops
The false aspect comes from the fact that he was there to report her for a crime of abuse, which as admitted he didn’t feel was abuse just a way to make her look bad.
13:30 technically he didn't file anything. I think he went to talk to them about filing one but they talked him out of it because of how stupid it was.
The husband is upset that he got a hug from his wife? Lighten up dude.
Remember he was cheating.
I checked the comments before listening to the whole story 1, and I was waiting for the part where OP blew up at her sister and called her anything but that didn't happen. Tbh, I actually understand OPs reaction. Is it bad that she's harboring unwanted jealousy towards her sister? Yes of course. But she says it herself, she doesn't know why she's feeling like that and she understands it's not her sister's fault. Like, OP KNOWS this isn't right, of course she doesn't want to be around her sister, not because of her, but because she has these feelings she doesn't know how to control. OP is GRIEVING the fact that she married a man who loves her sister more than her, thats the loss of a loved one and a future they were going to have. I also bet OP has no idea how to go about these feelings, of COURSE SHE SHOULDN'T HAVE HER SISTER AROUND IF SHE'S GONNA HAVE FEELINGS OF JEALOUSY SHE CAN'T TRAVERSE.
Edit: aight, read more comments, saw the one that had the update, yeah OP sucks for doing this, screw me i guess for trying to have a nuanced take.
Y'all are being way too harsh on the sister in the first story. She is going through a lot and needs to be alone for a while.
1 & 2 need both divorces wtf....
2- maybe I think that women isn't that stupid
1 - no, according to someone said that the story have one more update and it isn't good, one thing that didn't happen as a divorce.
Op is really sad and naive in the first story.
I can't believe op is letting this ruin her relationship with her sister... its such a nasty thing to blame someone who has no fault in this over jealousy and resentment for someone else. Op is an awful person, especially after the update. Ops sister deserved a better sister.
9:01 wait, did I miss something? When did the husband cheat?
Emocional cheating*
@ no such thing.
@@keiththompson00789 of course there is, if you listened to the story you heard the man literally say that he loves OP's sister. that's like the biggest way to emotionally cheat on someone
You may have mind control Powers but I have brain control powers and the brain controls the mind! 😂
Ick, first Story's OP. Red flags all around. That poor sister, my heart breaks for her and I wish her all the best.
Story 1 : I feel bad for op not only did she find her husband? Only married her to get close to her sister. He wants nothing to do with her daughter. And also strained the relationship with her sister I really hope she’s able to bounce back from this
There is comment here that talk about another update, you don't need to fell bad for OP anymore, because she bad as her husband (yeah she still married with him apparently), she also go NC with her sister, as for the sister She had a misscariage, not OP care about that, OP is the wrost person in the world. Remember everything that her sister did for her.
@ wait she wait no nc way the sister didn’t did anything wrong and she doesn’t even care what happened to her sister after what he did for her when there were younger
@@Spongeboyking That is what I read here in this comments more than once, so I think that is true at least that update should exist.
@@DarkHeartTheEmo I’ll look for the comments with the update
Story 1: This reminds me of the post where the husband falls in 'love'(lust) with his wife's boss. Then proceeds to stalk the boss to try and date her after he dumped his wife. OP needs to remember it isn't her sister's or her own fault that the guy went all crazy over someone else.
Story 2: This post, I sincerely hope the husband has a wonderful 3~6 months with his affair partner, before the company fires him, or the affair partner leaves/cheats, or anything else which shows he made the wrong choice.
Story 3: Ya, seems like he read a psychology for dummies book, and thought he could use that to control the workplace. If he thinks THAT was ballbusting, he's not suited for any level of authority in a workplace.
Well, OP made it her fault when she decided to stay with her "husband" and celebrated when she found out about her sister having a miscarriage. Sister doesn't even know about that because OP cut her off.
Rslash isn't me, but a couple of people said that the frist story have anothet update, you shoukd check that out and put that on your next video, doesn't matter what the video is about, you need to talk about that update if that update exist, just go check it.
I always thought the concept of “managing up“ was such a BS if I have to manage up that Manager is obviously not doing their job. Why would I do their job for them if it’s not within my pay grade?
I feel bad for OP in the first story. She definitely feels like she will never measure up to her sister, and now has a baby on the way and a husband who basically treated her like the second option and a gateway to being close to someone he could never have.
For those wondering why she cut off her sister, my guess is that she knows her sister is faultless and is even being supportive of her, but because her husband has tainted that selfless behavior, she's disgusted by it. It WILL pass. I do not feel like calling her a butthole at the moment because she has pregnancy hormones going through her, and with some help from a therapist, if she keeps going to the therapist, she'll be able to unpack the disdain she has for how giving and selfless her sister is and blame her husband for ruining that for her. It can also come from thoughts that she could never be as selfless and supportive as her sister has been, which isn't a bad thing, but she envies it.
The moment she moves away, she'll regret it. Eventually she will come around.
The fiance isn’t good enough? Bro, Jesus Christ was a carpenter. Look where he ended up.
My boyfriend would love for me to give him all of the attention every moment of our lives I’m not really sure what that dudes problem was
He was cheating.