Common language is so important. Men and women definitely communicate differently. Speaking just for myself, I verbally process and as a man really enjoy deep conversations about feelings because they are such an important way God has created us. Men like to suppress them but they still feel them and should talk about them. It’s great when a female partner can help a man navigate those feelings in a healthy way.
Men and women both need to also realize that men and women may have different modes of caretaking, maintenance and service when they're invested in a relationship - but when one partner attempts to touch base and ask what the other is thinking or what's wrong or if everything is ok - or doesn't ask but acts in whatever their way of comforting /stabilizing is - it could be self-centered control or verification that there's no danger - but if it's a decently strong relationship with relatively whole people - what's going on is acting on an instinct to not let things fester. Something has triggered a warning and they are seeking it out early because there's a sense that foundations with unrepaired cracks - eventually crumble a foundation. I can't speak for men but I've seen women acting from a dangerous place where the wrong answer from him will result in some kind of attack and I know that others act from a caretaking instinct - knowing that something is amiss and wanting it to be known that they are there for whatever it is and if allowed they can tend to the matter before it's a problem. There's also a sense of drawing together if allowed. It matters that the relationship be flexible enough that he be allowed to muddle his stuff himself - but it also matters that he does get ready - so he can answer her question, even if he's all over it, he needs to come back and tell her, "You know the other day ..., well I'm cool now - but ... that was all." Cause - drawing together. Also, she'll learn the different moods that way - over time.
To be a man, is to know true sadness, and yet to never speak a word of its existence for fear that those who might hear, would cast aside your very character, but only then can you embrace vulnerability to behold with others.
I don’t think it’s so much about men not showing their emotions as it is about them showing that they have their emotions under control. I personally find it extremely creepy to spend time with a guy who simply will not talk about what he is feeling. However, I find it very admirable when a man demonstrates that he does not allow his feelings to control him. If I were on a first date and asked the guy how he felt and he candidly admitted that he was nervous but said he was happy to see me and spent the rest of the date genuinely trying to listen to what I had to say and focusing on making me feel comfortable, I would find that extremely attractive. If a man denied being uncomfortable (who isn’t uncomfortable on a first date?) but then had all the telltale signs of fidgeting, interrupting me, etc. I would be extremely repulsed - not by the fact that he was (very naturally) nervous but by the fact he couldn’t own that. My friend from college and her husband experienced a stillbirth. When her husband held their dead child for the first and last time he cried his eyes out. But his wife never thought less of him for that because he did not allow his emotions of sadness, disappointment, grief, and loss make him check out from their marriage. He stayed emotionally present with her and their other children - a lot of men don’t because they run away from emotions that make them feel out of control.
the first thing women dont and will NEVER understand is the male experience of being a warrior. The ability to turn it on, INSTANTLY, just cuz you are ready - and you HAVE to be ready - is not something women experience. They need a gradual shift in their emotions to be prepared, but men, especialy in dangerous jobs, dont have that kinda of luxury. I noticed this when is started bjj almost 20 years ago. You're having a nice sparring session that out of nowhere turns into a war. Or you were going with people who are not as good as you are, so you know you're not in danger but all of the sudden your professor tells you to against the toughest guy in the room and you cant back out. You have to be ready- even though you know you'll lose, you dont waant to look like a coward. This happens in all types of situations and over the years i've praticed this over and over to "be ready when its necessary" not just "when im actualy ready". It helped me tremendously in college for example and im sure, real life warriors like navy seals and UFC fighters have to do this at even more extreme level. The ability to fight your fears IN THE MOMENT WHEN YOU HAVE TO PERFORM, is something that is only required for men and its a skill. Women can be courageous but not on demand. Not all men can do this of course, many men are cowards, but the best men i know and the ones that are worthy of admiration are the ones who can do this. I cant think of anything more manly than that and it is something that i've done (at a smaller scale of course) many times and that is what im trully proud out. "Anytime, anwhere" is not just an empty slogan, at least not for any man that trully wants to be competent.
To summarize your point a bit more concisely - The obligation to be ready for war, protection, or self-defense is expected of you as a man. Because you be can, so you shall. The path of the warrior or aspects of it are completely unavoidable for men.
Do you realize many of the initial tribes equally had women into hunt? Do you realize many of the animal species, the females are the ones who hunt?!? Do you realize women also exist in and join the army? Do you realize that simply walking down the street out in public, amongst men - we ARE ALWAYS ready for a fight because the danger is always there for us. Just by EXISTING. Who do we need all this protection from you against? OTHER MEN. Yeah buddy, WE KNOW what being on guard at all times is like. We are on guard From YOU!! … or the majority of us wouldn’t have picked the bear.
@@NJM1313 "Do you realize many of the initial tribes equally had women into hunt? " and how many of them actualy survived? "Do you realize many of the animal species, the females are the ones who hunt?!?" not the human species. lmao "Do you realize women also exist in and join the army? " how many of them are in the FRONT LINES doing the hard job versus being on desk? you dont know what you're tlaking about type on youtube "everyday day heroes" and watch videos of people rescuing strangers out of nowhere. See if you can spot ONE SINGLE women doing what regular man do for free.
Common language is so important. Men and women definitely communicate differently. Speaking just for myself, I verbally process and as a man really enjoy deep conversations about feelings because they are such an important way God has created us. Men like to suppress them but they still feel them and should talk about them. It’s great when a female partner can help a man navigate those feelings in a healthy way.
True
The surprise resiliency test at the end.
Haha I’m glad
Men and women both need to also realize that men and women may have different modes of caretaking, maintenance and service when they're invested in a relationship - but when one partner attempts to touch base and ask what the other is thinking or what's wrong or if everything is ok - or doesn't ask but acts in whatever their way of comforting /stabilizing is - it could be self-centered control or verification that there's no danger - but if it's a decently strong relationship with relatively whole people - what's going on is acting on an instinct to not let things fester. Something has triggered a warning and they are seeking it out early because there's a sense that foundations with unrepaired cracks - eventually crumble a foundation. I can't speak for men but I've seen women acting from a dangerous place where the wrong answer from him will result in some kind of attack and I know that others act from a caretaking instinct - knowing that something is amiss and wanting it to be known that they are there for whatever it is and if allowed they can tend to the matter before it's a problem. There's also a sense of drawing together if allowed. It matters that the relationship be flexible enough that he be allowed to muddle his stuff himself - but it also matters that he does get ready - so he can answer her question, even if he's all over it, he needs to come back and tell her, "You know the other day ..., well I'm cool now - but ... that was all." Cause - drawing together. Also, she'll learn the different moods that way - over time.
To be a man, is to know true sadness, and yet to never speak a word of its existence for fear that those who might hear, would cast aside your very character, but only then can you embrace vulnerability to behold with others.
Fair point
I don’t think it’s so much about men not showing their emotions as it is about them showing that they have their emotions under control. I personally find it extremely creepy to spend time with a guy who simply will not talk about what he is feeling. However, I find it very admirable when a man demonstrates that he does not allow his feelings to control him. If I were on a first date and asked the guy how he felt and he candidly admitted that he was nervous but said he was happy to see me and spent the rest of the date genuinely trying to listen to what I had to say and focusing on making me feel comfortable, I would find that extremely attractive. If a man denied being uncomfortable (who isn’t uncomfortable on a first date?) but then had all the telltale signs of fidgeting, interrupting me, etc. I would be extremely repulsed - not by the fact that he was (very naturally) nervous but by the fact he couldn’t own that.
My friend from college and her husband experienced a stillbirth. When her husband held their dead child for the first and last time he cried his eyes out. But his wife never thought less of him for that because he did not allow his emotions of sadness, disappointment, grief, and loss make him check out from their marriage. He stayed emotionally present with her and their other children - a lot of men don’t because they run away from emotions that make them feel out of control.
the first thing women dont and will NEVER understand is the male experience of being a warrior. The ability to turn it on, INSTANTLY, just cuz you are ready - and you HAVE to be ready - is not something women experience. They need a gradual shift in their emotions to be prepared, but men, especialy in dangerous jobs, dont have that kinda of luxury. I noticed this when is started bjj almost 20 years ago. You're having a nice sparring session that out of nowhere turns into a war. Or you were going with people who are not as good as you are, so you know you're not in danger but all of the sudden your professor tells you to against the toughest guy in the room and you cant back out. You have to be ready- even though you know you'll lose, you dont waant to look like a coward. This happens in all types of situations and over the years i've praticed this over and over to "be ready when its necessary" not just "when im actualy ready". It helped me tremendously in college for example and im sure, real life warriors like navy seals and UFC fighters have to do this at even more extreme level. The ability to fight your fears IN THE MOMENT WHEN YOU HAVE TO PERFORM, is something that is only required for men and its a skill. Women can be courageous but not on demand. Not all men can do this of course, many men are cowards, but the best men i know and the ones that are worthy of admiration are the ones who can do this. I cant think of anything more manly than that and it is something that i've done (at a smaller scale of course) many times and that is what im trully proud out. "Anytime, anwhere" is not just an empty slogan, at least not for any man that trully wants to be competent.
To summarize your point a bit more concisely -
The obligation to be ready for war, protection, or self-defense is expected of you as a man.
Because you be can, so you shall. The path of the warrior or aspects of it are completely unavoidable for men.
That’s good
Do you realize many of the initial tribes equally had women into hunt?
Do you realize many of the animal species, the females are the ones who hunt?!?
Do you realize women also exist in and join the army?
Do you realize that simply walking down the street out in public, amongst men - we ARE ALWAYS ready for a fight because the danger is always there for us. Just by EXISTING.
Who do we need all this protection from you against? OTHER MEN.
Yeah buddy, WE KNOW what being on guard at all times is like. We are on guard From YOU!!
… or the majority of us wouldn’t have picked the bear.
@@NJM1313
"Do you realize many of the initial tribes equally had women into hunt? "
and how many of them actualy survived?
"Do you realize many of the animal species, the females are the ones who hunt?!?"
not the human species. lmao
"Do you realize women also exist in and join the army? "
how many of them are in the FRONT LINES doing the hard job versus being on desk?
you dont know what you're tlaking about
type on youtube "everyday day heroes" and watch videos of people rescuing strangers out of nowhere. See if you can spot ONE SINGLE women doing what regular man do for free.
spot on brother. Women can nag and complain all they want, but they will never be heroes or warriors.
Loving the new content and subject matter
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Thanks for this video
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Hope this helps you guys!