Avoidant Personality Disorder & the other Cluster C's
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 21 มี.ค. 2024
- Today, we discuss the criteria for fellow Cluster C personality disorders, Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder, and Dependent Personality Disorder. I also talk about my experience with DPD traits myself. Thanks for watching.
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4:43 _"a tight-butthole personality"_ 🤣 _'TBHP'_ ;-) (I love it!)
I’m beyond happy I found this channel after failed attempted therapy ,bpd misdiagnosis , no one knowing about this condition and late diagnosed adhd .
I’m looking into schema therapy now.
I am early 40s so it’s extremely hard not to cave into the hopelessness .
I lost a lot of development time to panic disorder & agoraphobia so I try not to be super hard on myself , it was a disabling condition .
Now, I am trying to get back into work by doing the bare minimum of pre employment program.
The intimacy part
Is an entire other thing to overcome , I think I am counterdependent at this point .
Still working on healing regardless, to stop internalizing the abuse & neglect and my small nieces.
Thank you for exposing yourself to bring light to this situation.
Yeah, I lost most of my 20s to it and now at 30 I feel like I’m still spinning my wheels. But I guess even minuscule progress is progress, and knowing what I’m up against does feel like a step in the right direction. It’s hard to make gains when (useful) therapy isn’t accessible though. 😕 As much as I know about psychology, being my own therapist isn’t working as well as I’d have hoped hahahahah.
@@anxious_and_avoidant definitely tiny improvements will lead to momentum..I had a bunch of momentum pre-Covid and even during, so I’m going to lean into that mind frame.
Relate to the trying to be your own therapist isn’t too helpful , we probably know too much psychology at this point , pretty sure I annoyed the emdr clinic & made them feel incompetent which I don’t think anyone likes.
Schema therapy is supposed to be helpful . It would be great to develop in person groups too which would be great exposure /support /problem solving.
I am in Canada fyi , not sure where you are located.
I had a boss at a job who told me that I "moved around the office like a scared cat" and he asked me if I was OK. I asked him if it was really that obvious and he kind of demured - I don't think everybody noticed it. I told it that it was because people are monsters and I'm very freigtened of them and he said he understood and "that's a good, healthy fear to have, unfortunately". So, yes, I can relate.
The intro really made me laugh, thank you, I needed that (I'm going through stuff, too...). BANGS! I think your hair looks really great, I like the bangs! Your hair looks so shiney and healthy and it's a really great cut! ETA I really appreciate your humor in general, you make me laugh quite a bit, thanks for that!!
😊 happy to help with my humor, it’s my favorite coping mechanism 😅🫶
Being distracted by the bangs is understandable; they are bangin'. ;) Seriously, you are rocking those things! Total upgrade.
From conversations with pros as I was being diagnosed, the main differentials seemed to be that people with DPD sort of *like* dependency. They will also actively seek out as many people to be dependent on as they can, while we withdraw until sure we *can* depend on as few people as possible. We and Borderlines are also wary of allowing the degree of control that someone with DPD eagerly submits to. There's definitely overlap here in cluster C though; I'm perfectionistic and scared to spend--very OCPD, and need SO much validation like DPD folks.
Your videos are so insightful and helpful! I haven't been diagnosed with AvPD, but I definitely resonate with a lot, as well as DPD primarily. I have been learning a lot about intersections between DPD and BPD as well, from other sources, and that has all been helpful. Thank you for your contributions, and I hope you have a good one. :)
OCPD (Obsessive Compulsive PERSONALITY)
(1) 4:09 -
(2) 5:05
(3) 10:22 -DPD (Dependent Personality)
I was diagnosed last year with avpd and dependent personality/borderline traits. It is very interesting how all cluster c disorders overlap as well, and if you have one it is a common fact that you could have (partly) some of the others as well. Also interesting is that cluster b also overlaps commonly with cluster c’s. And people with one or more disorders traits often find themselves in relationships with others with some of these disorders. It is my understanding that all of these disorders stem from coping with trauma(rejection/ neglect/ humiliation/ abuse etc.) and some genetics. They are different ways in which your personality can be affected and CPTSD definitely has some part in this. This is why all personality disorders have things in common and can somewhat relate to fears, negative feelings, depression, hopelessness etc. The clusters boil down to: - cluster a: detached and distrustful, odd and eccentric/
- cluster b: core identity issues and self esteem/emotional regulation/
- cluster c: anxiety disorders variations and avoiding, hiding, fearful.
What all of these share is the immense suffering in day to day life, just trying to survive, but almost never without fear or stress and having difficulty handling social connections with others. And that it is very hard to change these core beliefs and ways of thinking that have rooted itself in our minds and body.
I think that healthcare for personality disorders is severely limited, and stigmatized. That we still have a long way to go in understanding and find ways to heal that work.
This quote comes to mind: “It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.”
Btw, love your new hair❤ It suits you well.
The remedy for everything related to childhood trauma is always the same: forming a healthy long-term bond with a psychotherapist.
And taking medication for symptoms as needed.
Unfortunately the standard of therapy has gotten worse, not better, in the last decade. That healthy long-term therapeutic relationship is very hard to find.
Evidence of the bad state of psychology right now: everybody knows what PDs are but nobody knows how they're helped. There's so much and so little awareness simultaneously. 💔
10:41 _"Gotta catch 'em all!"_ (like Pokémon) 😀
😏
Just wanna be the OCPD + AVPD guy checking in in the comments. I basically oscillate between the two if that makes any sense. They are both present in my personality; I'm rigid and perfectionistic and precise with everything that I do, when I'm not afraid to do it.
I tend to spend my entire life planning my life out and not finishing tasks. It's like I'm constantly sitting there with a pen and paper mapping out how to get my revenge on my Avoidant personality: "When I'm feeling less afraid I'm going to work X hours at X job to make X dollars and then I'm..." blah blah blah.. Constantly in the notepad and calculator.
Most OCPD thing I've done... kept a detailed spreadsheet of events I've attended since I was 11 years old (25 now, still updating)
Most AvPD thing I've done... not telling my roommate and best friend that I let us get $20,000 in unpaid rent for almost two years. We got out of it okay and I would have taken on the debt so as to not impact my friend's livelihood. But I was so shamed and dissociated I never told him until someone else did.
Maybe whether you lean toward DPD vs OCPD as someone with AVPD depends on whether the root fear is being incapable (DPD) vs feeling helpless (OCPD). I do have a LOT of confidence issues (hence the paralyzing perfectionism I think lol), but my fear of being helpless/out of control/controlled by others kind of overshadows everything else.
That makes sense, I definitely fear being incapable most out of everything. 😅
I also have totally overdone the minimalism thing! Realised it was overkill when I almost convinced myself to donate my gma's crochet hook set. Nice to hear the criteria for OCPD and jDPD. Those extreme whatevering shows, couponing or cheapskate, to me those feel like they're exploiting untreated PW OCPD.
Started heavily dissociating during the DPD criteria and realise how strong my sense of worthlessness went., it was captured well in not feeling like I was able to actually do anything, ever, even as a grown person with multiple skilled careers under her belt. I'm in my forties and only, like, last few months started adopting a mindset of being capable of grasping basic skills and attaining desired outcomes. Tonight it was watercolurs.
Hi! I appreciate your uploads. I'm 99.07% sure I have this disorder. I'm in the process of getting tested for ADHD, and autism has come up as a possibility as well. I was just wondering if you have any sensory issues? I haven't seen all of your videos, but you seem pretty sure that autism doesn't factor into your experience, so I thought I'd ask if you experience any sound/light sensitivity or things like that. Thank you and I really appreciate you speaking about your experiences.
I do, and in the last few years I feel like autism might be viable. But I’ll never be able to get an assessment, so we’ll never know. 😅
@@anxious_and_avoidant hey, so, um, I just wanted to update my comment and say that apparently I do have ADHD and PTSD, but no personality disorder, and I'll be getting tested for autism in a little over a week. Probably not necessary to update my comment lol but I felt a bit weird for being presumptuous about having AvPD so I thought I'd offer a correction.
@@robylintjables PTSD and AvPD are very similar, and there’s a good chance if you went to a variety of providers, one of them would probably diagnose you with AvPD. It’s not a perfect science. But either way, if my content was/is helpful to you, that’s all that matters. Thanks for the update! Glad you’re getting it figured out. ❤️
@@anxious_and_avoidantJust wanna hop in here one last time to say I was indeed diagnosed with autism today. I guess I am what you would call "AuDHD". Well, kinda crazy to find that out at 37 lmao. Have a most wonderful week!
hair is looking hot bangs
Long time lurker and first time commenter on this channel - I'd just like to take this first-time comment to say that I genuinely appreciate you taking the time to upload these videos and also to have shared your personal experiences in some of your videos - It is greatly appreciated by myself and I'm sure many others. Thanks again. Keep up the good work :)
Means a lot, thank you 🫶
@@anxious_and_avoidant No worries 😁 , keep up your good work 🙂👍.
Thanks!
👏 ❤ ☮ 👍
Lol I know you mean when it comes to cooking 😱🫣🤨😵💫😫
Even when watching professional chefs, like cooking shows.
I find myself mentally grading their skills & constantly telling the screen "Nooo" "your cutting that onion wrong!" ECT. 😮💨
I’m not even an excellent cook by any means 🤣 just a control freak in the kitchen hahahahah