Ted 2 (9/10) Movie CLIP - Cookie in the Crack (2015) HD

Ted 2 movie clips: j.mp/1Ydccw2
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CLIP DESCRIPTION:
Sam (Amanda Seyfried) throws a cookie in a rude guy's butt crack, but then learns that he is blind.
FILM DESCRIPTION:
Ted (voice of Seth MacFarlane) ties the knot with Tami-Lynn (Jessica Barth), and recruits his best friend John (Mark Wahlberg) as a sperm donor in order to start a family in this sequel to the comedy hit about a teddy bear come to life. Later, when the Commonwealth of Massachusetts demands that Ted appear before a judge to prove he's a real person, the frisky bear and his pal vow to fight for their civil rights. Morgan Freeman and Amanda Seyfried co-star.
CREDITS:
TM & © Universal (2015)
Cast: Mark Wahlberg, Amanda Seyfried, Seth MacFarlane, Craig Ricci Shaynak
Director: Seth MacFarlane
Producers: Jason Clark, Scott Stuber, John Jacobs, Seth MacFarlane, Eric Heffron, Wellesley Wild, Alec Sulkin, Mark Kamine, Joseph J. Micucci, Kelly Cronin, John Wiseman
Screenwriters: Alec Sulkin, Wellesley Wild, Seth MacFarlane
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[@SJMJ91]

"You're a waitress, you're not building rockets." Even for a blind guy, there's absolutely no excuse to be as rude as that.

[@teatla4801]

He didn’t “see” it that way

[@mistamysteriuh]

@@teatla4801 smooth af 😂

[@moonwakey5195]

Foxy the pirate fox lul

[@jacksongibbs8998]

Now he’s got a Cookie Crisp in his bum bum

[@raymondpelosi1574]

Jackson gibbs hahahaha

[@bestboy2926]

“Cookie crisp In yo bum bum jeez I’m sowy” got me laughing 😂😂😂😂

[@YoutuberFanbasr]

Fr

[@Realbatman34]

Ik the way he said it😂😂😂😂😂

[@51OAKLANDER510]

I went back to the 90s when he said that

[@natalieandersen7020]

😂😂 this is funny cookie crisp in yo bum bum jeez I’m sowy

[@Terrell-n4o]

Same 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@cryback37]

"You have give us the ring my precious eyes" is the best line of the movie.

[@HarrisonHollers]

What a line!

[@Jeezes718]

Right next to saying he wants to sleep in a bed made of Morgan freemans voice.

[@tpndgo2061]

Smeaglo .

[@wavyshon2x87]

Definitely 😂

[@artobaron399]

techniclly she wwont kick him out because of drugs its a perfect match

[@wheeler6768]

"you have 'give us the ring my precious' eyes"

[@Aalling76]

Golem!

[@gaelicpride_6353]

Gollum*

[@fineiswear3020]

true nerd

[@rocky99949]

(LAUGHING)

[@nicolasquezada8736]

Dash Porter

[@preserveandthrive6830]

"You have give us the ring my precious eyes"

[@marissasosebee6248]

Preserve And Thrive I was SCREAMING 😂😂😂💀💀💀

[@memphiswatts3242]

COPY

[@thel.akhalil1249]

Yooo I was hoping this would be first comment 😭😭😭😭

[@TheScribe1.0]

And then later she sees Gollum.

[@JonathanHolt1988]

That was so freakin funny

[@austinschimke5721]

Seth MacFarlane is the reason why I love this movie

[@austinschimke5721]

***** I love family guy

[@christopherpage5265]

true

[@cryptxlore2429]

Christopher Page i like him bc he created family guy and the clevland show

[@thecartoonvault5381]

Same

[@hmicjgsf4life]

Me too :)

[@jasonstuart6198]

I love Mark Wahlberg he nailed the 5 year old son

[@samueljeshurunlamechp9894]

Hold up...

[@andersgale9544]

@@samueljeshurunlamechp9894 😂

[@hazelgoodshepherd9315]

pause

[@jeffma7507]

Wait...what?

[@tafsibhuiyan8730]

@@jeffma7507 1:07

[@Sai4651]

1:48 - That's a real joke Seth McFarlane made about Amanda Seyfried, he would call her Gollum eyes and talked about it on the Graham Norton show.

[@ababababbaab9996]

commited felony trespass

[@bensonotega2341]

She does have gollum eyes thgh

[@Weesock]

I feel like she made her eyes even bigger after Ted said that

[@simonmakinde230392]

‘oh. He’s not my boyfriend.’
‘oh. Good’ 😂😂

[@galaxytb147]

What do you think she was trying to say?

[@SocialMediaInBio]

@@galaxytb147 I think she was into him but I don't think she was into her 😂

[@brianmateo8041]

@@galaxytb147 Shes bascially referring that hes into him and its good that hes available

[@ibrahim_-_-_]

@@SocialMediaInBio he*

[@ibrahim_-_-_]

@@brianmateo8041 she’s*

[@amyartlover]

"was your mascot a broken condom?"
OML I CAN'T...😂😂😂

[@theshockerpit7274]

Amy Anime Lover mine is

[@xd_cuzn4133]

1:06 i was laughing for HOURS!

[@amyartlover]

IKR, me too 😂😂😂

[@nadaproductions777]

Same

[@loganthevillager9176]

*I ‘ M S O W W Y !*

[@jahceirgilbert3031]

@@amyartlover yeah I know I really love John's impression of a 5 year old kid😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@youraveragejoe2]

1:19 for me😂

[@valkyrie1331]

"Have some cookie crisps you need some nutrition" yes mark whalberg yes 😂

[@PJ.Rob06]

"Part of a balanced breakfast"

[@rexusranger1938]

I love how Amanda Seyfried just lost it when Mark said that line. lol! They kept it rolling. Totally awesome.

[@alechome8021]

“Oh yea, was your mascot a broken condom?”
No one but Seth MacFarlane could’ve said that better

[@cardinalsfanforever4484]

I don't care how many times I see this clip, 0:51 that sound has me crying laughing every time...lol

[@Gamer_Mythic_Ghost_900]

Me Too

[@oh3681]

Play that sound like 5 times and it'll sound like cards being shuffled

[@phntmloona2843]

LOL

[@jacobrangel4914]

It sounds like the cod hitmarker lmao

[@Noah_zilla.2022]

0:52 0:51

[@DDDog]

1:06 Mark Wahlberg sounds like Adam Sandler.

[@albicalderbank3611]

DeadlyDerpDog I know right

[@giantrobby5050]

I cannot unhear it not but you are absolutely correct

[@JessieJamesPlays]

Ikr

[@duongbroz5945]

Waterboy

[@Kauffman578]

Both are jews

[@phoenixnorth504]

give me the ring my precious eyes!!!!! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 lmfao

[@williamveisamasama9792]

Phoenix North 😂😂😂

[@miraculousedits2529]

One of the rare times when I like the sequel more than the original 😂

[@ChristianFrates1997]

Amanda Seyfried is one of the reasons.

[@miraculousedits2529]

@@ChristianFrates1997 1000%

[@realdevonwisenbaker]

“Sir I apologize for my 5 Year old son...”
“iM SoWwY! SoWwY sUr CoOkIE CwSp In Ur BuM BuMs GeEz iM SoWwY.”

[@xocialexperiment]

“Oh yeah was your mascot a broken condom” 😂😂😂😂

[@traintrack3761]

Shut up *throws cookie*

[@aminatogunbanke9407]

*it hurts*

[@jackraider1039]

Oh!​@@traintrack3761

[@faintmemories.2747]

that "cookie crisp in yo bum bum" line has me wheezing on the floor every time lmao.

[@julianrios7607]

When she threw it right up that guys crack, I laughed so hard.😂🤣

[@generalcoty5225]

Me too 😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣

[@MrandMrsdinosaur]

Innit 😂

[@stephenking5852]

Did he just call her eyes as bulbous as Gollum's!?!

[@karmawuzhere6642]

Yes..........Yes he did

[@rightuppercut1426]

Symbol Guy Damn, only now I get that joke ...

[@peakyblinders6735]

He wasn't lying though 😂😂😂

[@thaitemple1807]

Ted: Sir, I apologize for my five year old son.
John: (mocking baby voice) I’m sworry. Sworry, sir. Cookie Crisp in your bum-bummies. I’m sworry.
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@cipherology]

forgot the jeez

[@jackraider1039]

he doesn't say jeez​@@cipherology

[@foxykid2540]

1:06 people at school

[@queenbee4015]

1:17 had me dying laughing 😂

[@Pixie_x3]

I love how Ted says “Jeeesus Christ!” So much definition behind that lmao 🤣 😂

[@daniel725C]

"The fuck me eyes lol"

[@skuroses8541]

Daniel the elite "no you have give us the ring my precious eyes"

[@daniel725C]

Leon Jo I know right

[@Peacemaker420]

0:48 HAD ME LAUGHING SO HARD

[@dhoyoso]

I don’t get it…

[@Peacemaker420]

@@dhoyoso Its just so random

[@babycubstl0346]

"Cookie crisp in your bum bumsy" LMAFO

[@dharudx]

Give us the ring my Precious Eyes , I'm dead 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@agasthya1747]

What does it mean?

[@ramonabdiel10]

I guess you can say he didn’t see that coming

[@guitarheaven1747]

Underrated comment

[@MuffinMcFluffin]

rimshot

[@Nayleixy]

You’re out of line for that but that is funny

[@euphonic.essence]

1:18
“Go get my cookie crisp out of his a**”

[@DgardsGaming]

Screw that, you do it yourself. 🤢

[@christopherpage5265]

who plays the waitress damn shes hot

[@Michael-ho3xw]

She's also in the movie The Boy next Door

[@edwardmorales5318]

Whats her name

[@elementbender1]

Lexi Atkins

[@sengtech9097]

😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱

[@lukestokes2579]

Nick The Music Snob yeah right

[@derekpacheco7682]

The writing is amazing. He said go get my cookie crisp back 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@dankiumzed2831]

(1:48) It would have been funny if Ted said "you have 'on wednesdays we wear pink' eyes."

[@raymonfrose24]

She does have bug eyes. Love them

[@iwatcher69]

'Give us the ring, my precious eyes"...hahaha!!

[@DgardsGaming]

So Gollum eyes

[@phoenixnorth504]

give me the ring my precious eyes!!!!! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 lmfao

[@ohno382]

"Jezus you're a waitress you're not building rockets firgure it out!"

[@generalcoty5225]

"Um, sir I apologize for my 5 year old son" 1:03😂

[@brianhill2171]

Tfw Mark Wahlberg is 15 years older than Amanda Seyfried

[@goodguynow]

That's ok

[@carlosferreira3797]

TheBDHShow Mark Wahlberg: "too old"

[@mdlinksthetopg6510]

Age doesn't matter at least the actors are friends (y)

[@SuperSparrow45]

What!? No!

[@adanflores2594]

TheBDHSho

[@redknight1825]

Never fails to make me laugh these clips- this movie never seems to get old for me. I guess I just miss my old teddy.

[@keeganreilly2573]

The sound when the Cookie Crisp lands in the dudes crack 😂😂

[@MrMarmaduke09]

0:52 their reactions were priceless!!!!

[@Joe-fd4qo]

Cookie Cwisp in yah bum bum zeez I'm sowwy😂😂😂

[@kxries4786]

“Nah you have the Give me the ring my precious eyes” 😂😂

[@damongrimes6096]

Ted: Sir, I apologise for my five year old child. Bad Butch you sit there and eat you're fish nuggets!
Johnny: Fishy Nuggy!

[@IsaiahRichards692]

0:56 Should have given him a veteran cap!

[@sethduarte4510]

0:56 that’s the thumbnail of the video

[@jesusaguirre6477]

I mean she totally have the "give us the ring my precious" eyes lmao 😂

[@Reszolute]

I died at 1:07 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@truth-12345.]

You have "give us the ring my precious" eyes. Haha! lol XD
Anyways don't mean to be rude. I love Amanda Seyfried so much.

[@tmhicks75]

"No,you have give me the ring. My precious eyes"

[@godsgym007]

Tell Amanda Seyfried I said
"NICE SHOT!!?!" 🍪🏀

[@DavidLS1]

I love the way Seth MacFarlane's mind works.

[@Middleageboom]

1:49 you have the "hive us the ring my precious eyes"😂😂😂😂

[@Raven-Krieg]

Hive us the ring?
I'm not even going to begin what is wrong with that........
I love it!!!! But I'm pretty sure you just misspelled it.

[@user295.]

@@Raven-Krieg The H is next to the G, of course it's an accident, no big deal

[@bubbaho-tep3468]

Maybe i'm too damn high, but i damn near pissed myself crying at the sound of the cookie crisp hitting the crack...lmao. I kept rewinding it

[@dog_on_chair]

Ted = Peter Griffin??

[@fbebrbrbbebrbebr8311]

gtNYR _68 Yes they are the same Voice actor and not only that he playes Roger In american dad/Other animation series soo he's like Animations dad

[@dog_on_chair]

Fbebrbrb Bebrbebr oh lol

[@carlosmiravete1159]

Ted was taking advantage of that blind man, since he couldn’t see who was it

[@JackieMarie-o7w]

legends say today that the blind guy is still waiting for his coffee

[@uwu8379]

0:19 literally my friends when im joking around with the boy i like 😫😂

[@GZZVlol]

Funny number of likes

[@greentoesbstatus4325]

You're a girl right, cuz if you're a boy yourself then Y O U G O T T A G O

[@yurmabeechaudits3522]

That's when you look at him and say "yeah. So when are we gonna make out?"

[@Tobi-pp8ko]

"I'm sowy sir Cookie crisp in your bum bum" That turned me into a laughing Maniac

[@RedOakCrow]

'Give us the ring my precious eyes' pmsl

[@snlfox3457]

That sounds like Peter Griffin from Family Guy

[@SSS-yq8pz]

sometimes I forget this gem of a movie..

[@damianshearer3534]

The precious comment lmao

[@jackaylward-williams9064]

It wouldn've been funnier if the guy WASN'T blind and had just forgotten to take his specs off.

[@pixelgiraffe1216]

Sit down and eat your fish nuggets!

"Cookie cwisp in youw bum bum" XD

[@BanilyaGorilya]

You ever see Seyfried in Chloe? Or Lovelace? She has the fuck me eyes.

[@nightmareentertainment5017]

"Sir I apologise for my give year old son". "Yeah I'm sorry sir cookie crisp in your bumb bumbzy". Seth MacFarlane I love family guy and Ted his work are masterpieces

[@MrNight-lk3qb]

0:04 Hey, sam, how is your boring salad? 😂😂😂

[@holdupwaitaminute.]

We need a Ted 3

[@warhund]

"Give us the ring my precious" eyes.. I just lost it there... Almost choked laughing

[@ShaneIsChosen1]

Sam is so fine bro 🤦🏽‍♂️😍😍😍

[@yahia_9025]

0:28 ..that face tho

[@llthellcrewll8933]

I watched this when I was like 7.
I STILL LOVE IT

[@divinelangene6813]

7😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮

[@erenyeager7705]

So that means your 13 now.

[@SugmaMcSugma]

​@@erenyeager7705 15

[@bighippi725]

0:50 Best shut up ever

[@paul-jacob5472]

Dood he sound exACTLY like a 5 year old😂😂😂😂it the best

[@MuffinMcFluffin]

What 5-year-old kids have you been around? lol I don't know any that sound like that haha.

[@paul-jacob5472]

@@MuffinMcFluffin it's pretty obvious what he's doing to change his voice as a "five year old" If you haven't heard any five year olds sound like that then ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ bc that change of voice, mocking of a five year old was spot on

[@MuffinMcFluffin]

@@paul-jacob5472 I was being sarcastic only as long as you were as well. Five-year-olds don't quite talk like babies. My three-year-old nephew is much more eloquent than that in his speech.
I get the mockery, but walk up to 800 different five-year-olds not played by Adam Sandler, and you're not going to hear anyone like that lol.

[@paul-jacob5472]

I said what I said and that's mark walburg lmao it wouldn't be in the movie if it wasn't somewhat true

[@MuffinMcFluffin]

​@@paul-jacob5472 I didn't say it wasn't funny, it's hilarious. It's why I came to the clip, in fact. I get what he's going for, there's no doubting it.
But going out of your way to post a comment in saying that it sounds exACTLY like a 5-year-old? That, it does not. That's all I'm saying.

[@trapinwitmywhitefriend8710]

"Go get my cookie crisp out of his ass"😂

[@Phoenix-rl2ge]

Ted: no you have the give me the ring my precious eyes
God I love dobby 🤣

[@eshaanali6901]

"give-us-the-ring-my-precious eyes"

[@PatricksCrazyPlace]

How does Ted eat and digest things?

[@SelectiveApathy82]

Say, that's dangerous thinking Patrick! You better just focus on yourself and stop asking so many questions.

[@NorydMatos]

@@SelectiveApathy82 i can tell you never went to school before🤣😂

[@SelectiveApathy82]

@@NorydMatos It's a Family Guy joke, dumbass

[@the_ltz_guymaster7912]

I can’t believe he wanted it back

[@Ajk801]

1:01 😂😂😂

[@joelopezjr3237]

And we never got Ted 3. That's real sad.

[@guitarheaven1747]

I personally even liked the second one better than the first one

[@Nameless82284]

I think it's for the best

[@EricGraham94]

@@guitarheaven1747 I liked the 2nd one more mostly because Amanda Seyfried’s character was more interesting than Mika Kunis’s, who’s basically every Mila Kunis character

[@christiaanbothma]

Don't worry about it. A few months ago Seth announced that he's making a Ted TV show.

[@Hasan-rf6eq]

​@@christiaanbothmayeah but it 's done. There must be at least 24 episodes, it not enough never 😑

[@MJE520]

"Was your mascot a broken condom" LMAO

[@ChristopherDotson]

Lol, I'm sorry Cookie Crisp in your bom bom

[@mitchemml68]

HAHAHA ,you hv give me the ring precious eyes! 😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@trayce115]

Cod 2 vibes from this diner

[@wolffyfox4087]

You know, I have John and Ted's level of maturity and I love it. It's nice to find fun in every scenario. That's not something to be ashamed of, makes you younger longer

[@imillusion492]

I love how it even had a Call of Duty hitmarker sound

[@tomwotton9]

It’s been five years how am I still laughing at this!

[@lauren4life]

6 years now

[@idontno0]

Lmaooo give me the ring my precious eyes. She kinda does 🤣

[@johnnymata9133]

The Absent Minded Waitress Never Served Ted His Coffee!!

[@chuckymeme3355]

At least Ted isn’t like Chucky, JigSaw Boy or any other murder dolls 😄

[@thesilliestgoose5990]

This is the funniest shit I've ever seen

[@rstein926]

Imagine if Sam did that to an anonymous customer and the guy turned round and turned out to be Sea Bass of Dumb and Dumber 🤣🤣

[@mrmike8782]

1:38 the *bleep* me eyes

[@nomon95]

yeap.and before too 0:30

[@bayloreickman1704]

“ you have give me the ring my precious eyes”