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Peter Walsh's book "Let it go" was very helpful to me. He asks some questions that I had not heard before and his assessments of family dynamics when someone passes and we have to deal with the loved ones possessions are spot on!
My grandma (90) is on a very limited income and no longer can afford gifts. When she sees us she likes to give us a bag of things from her apartment. Might be clothes, old towels, costume jewelry, or ketchup and cracker packets from her meals. We never say no. Always, "thank you! " People first! Yes! Afterwards the items can be donated or tossed and she'll never know, but we both walk away feeling blessed.
This reminds me of my husband’s grandmother, who is now 97. We love her so much. She used to send us home with her leftovers and any food or pantry items left by other family members. She also decluttered her and Grandpa’s old clothing and gave them to us. I remember a time I took some of her bras she didn’t like. 😆 Anyhow, we too figured we were helping them to declutter. My daughter still has a red Chanel fleece shirt from grandma. 😁
So precious! Thank you for being kind to her by accepting her gifts of love. This reminds me so much of how my mother did before she passed. And, if she went to visit someone, she ALWAYS took them something, even if it was just a new dishcloth, handkerchief, etc. I really miss that now that she’s gone.
Thank you. Many times when I hear the end of your video "I love you, I hope you have a great day, and I'll see you again soon." is the only time anyone has said those nice thing to me for a few days. Thank you.
My sister made crocheted dishcloths. They actually are the best. She passed just over a year ago and I cherish those cloths. I have a new one her hubby gave me after she was gone. I’m going to frame it and put in my sewing room. I can’t use the last one!!! ❤️❤️
My grandmother crocheted dishcloths as well. When she passed my sister in law and I split up all the dishcloths she had crocheted. Whenever I use one I think of her.
"The magic is in the motion, not in the potion" is so true. Small things done consistently has been a game changer for us. A short 15 minutes every day of tidying and/or decluttering has brought me so much farther than occasional decluttering marathon sessions.
And I find a quick walk around the block is better than waiting until I have time to have a nice long walk. ...cuz then it will never happen at all😉 It helps clear the mind and put me in a better more productive mood and then usually later I have gotten so much done I can go for another walk!
Yes! I kept waiting until I felt like I had bigger blocks of time to get started on decluttering and that time never happened. Consistency over time really does add up to great progress!
When my son was little (and creating SO much artwork, especially through a couple of cool summer art camps for a few years), we shared with family and close friends. I'd mail one of his creations along with a little note to aunts, uncles, etc., and used it as a way to show love and keep in touch. One of my cousins later told me how much her mom (my aunt) adored getting things in the mail from us...and kept whatever latest offering from her great-nephew on her fridge. This was a fantastic way to keep in touch, spread the love, and "upcycle" instead of just tossing or recycling (or ever feeling the need to keep all of it). xoxo
I love what you had to say at the end about being “human” first. Also, I have 8 kids and you have motivated me to declutter! I think a lot of people think that large families must need a lot of stuff. No. Too much stuff just makes life more complicated. Blessings to you!
I also have eight and I would super-Amen this. Once I crossed over the fourth baby bridge, I began to sink under the stuff when I had been managing just fine before. Dawn threw me a lifeline and I couldnt be more thankful. And when people pass me things I am also so thankful. They are often very helpful and save me serious money, but I always sit with a donation box and sort the moment it comes through the door, so I don't start sinking again.
Yep 8 kids here too and I love getting hand me downs but I’m also very selective about what I want to manage and what would be too much!! And I never feel guilty about donating what I don’t need because I know for a fact that my friends don’t want me to be overwhelmed by what they give me, they want me to be blessed..not stressed
A year ago we began a major home renovation. As empty-nesters, we needed to age-in-place our home. After a quick purge (the first layer of the onion, so to speak), we put everything we owned into storage. During this time we lived the basements of two separate, very kind friends. My husband and I each took a small suitcase, a laptop and cell phone, and a file box of desk supplies, etc. This was more than enough! In December we moved back in to our half-finished home. We set up a small kitchen table with a microwave, next to our old refrigerator. We had a bed and 2 side tables, a TV, electricity, hot and cold running water in the one functioning bathroom - and we were as happy as clams! Last month we moved all our old furniture out of storage, putting about one third into the garage to either sell, donate or junk, with more added weekly. As we unpack all the little things, it's the same: get rid of anything we don't want to spend time and money taking care of. Also during the last year my father passed away and my mother downsized to a small apartment. There were many antiques, all family heirlooms with huge sentimental value, that no one in my large extended family of three generations would take. Same thing again: sell, donate or junk. Our cell phones came in handy as we took pictures which we are uploading to a shared family WiFi digital frame app on our laptops. The memories and conversations around these objects are way more important than the value of these antiques, and every one has kept whatever they wanted as a gift from my parents, grandparents and great-grandparents. I have been following Dawn for a couple of years, and her wise words about inventory and time have all come together at once for me. Many thanks! Very long post - my apologies!
Aww Dawn, I can completely relate to this. When I’m getting rid of “gifts” now I either say sorry to the person in my head or sorry to the item or sorry to the universe! It sounds absolutely bonkers but it does help! Xx
Tip from Marie Kondo is instead of apologizing (because you’re not doing anything wrong!!) is to say thank you. So in my head or out loud to the item/universe, I say “Thanks for this intention”, or “thanks for this gift” and “it’s fulfilled it purpose, time to pass this on”.
"The commodity I'm worried about wasting now is time not money." -Dawn This is Huge!! I really needed to hear this! It gives me the permission I've been needing to be in the current season I'm in with baby #7 on the way! Blessing on you -Rachel ☺️
At the beginning of Covid I stocked up on dried beans but never worked them into our regular routine. I kept holding onto even expired beans until one day I donated them to my son’s preschool for the sensory bins. Not only was I grateful to find a joyful use for my waste, but now when I am tempted to gather materials for a new project I remember my beans and ask myself, am I ready to take this on? The experience of letting go has instilled that principle a little deeper in my bones.
Lots of wisdom in this video. Human first, minimalist second. Motion not potion. Be kind to others and don't disappoint kids or those who do something for you. Graciously accept and pass on to those who can use it. If everything's special, nothing is. We're all a work in progress.
My current challenge is clothes. Over the past year I lost weight (yay!) and dropped 2 sizes. I’m going through my closet intentionally and donating what no longer fits. I’m trying hard to be intentional about what I buy to replace through mostly Amazon and consignment store. In the old days, I would have gone to the mall and dropped way too much money. Your videos on clothes have been so helpful. When I’m trying on clothes I hear your voice “I refuse to let my clothes mock me”, “it’s fine, but I don’t love it”, “ I don’t need another dress, I only need one pair of bootcut dark jeans”. I’m so grateful for your words of wisdom Dawn ❤️
I am in the same boat!! I’ve lost 50+ lbs, and I found myself going a little bit shopping crazy because it was fun and felt good. But worse than that is that it’s hard for me to get rid of the clothes that are now too big ‘just in case’ I gain the weight back and need them again 🥴
I have lost 80 pounds. Have kept it off almost a year! Donated the clothes and hope someone gets to enjoy them. It was tempting to buy too many new clothes but I enjoy my decluttered life. Thank you Dawn.
I love this channel. I have finished my living room, kitchen and have emptied out a nine drawer dresser a credenza with 6 levels for storage this is my craft area. I am 69 and feel weightless. Thank you
My late MIL's love language was gift giving. When on a limited income, she would shop at the Dollar Tree and wrap gifts for our family. I was always polite, but not enthusiastic until I read the 5 Love Languages. Once I understood that this was her way to express love, I received it more warmly and authentically. I would never refuse a gift, but might pass on the freebie bag from Walmart.
This video makes such a good point about how the cost of things isn’t what you pay for them - it’s the time and stress of dealing with them forever after. The creamed corn corn bread is literally dump and bake. You’ll be glad you tried it.
Keeping boxes for a friend who was moving. Thought I was doing good, only to find they had professional movers and didn’t need boxes! 🤯 Reasoning that they are good boxes don’t want to dump them, so put word out in our village and found home for them today! But been living with these boxes for months. Kindness over sense! Hahaha
I just accepted a shawl from a friend for my birthday that is something I'm certain I'll never wear. She's aware that I minimize. She's also on a fixed income and gave it as a token of our friendship. Of course I accepted it and it is in my donate box. I know I'm loved so the gift accomplished the intent.
OMG something you just said hit me right between the eyes. I have been laser focused on decluttering my house and making my husband miserable. I guess i have been trying so hard to declutter that i get excited and exhausted at the same time. We had a major blow out.....and we never fight..... I did a few things when he went to the store and decided to take this weekend totally off. I've just laid around and am doing nothing until Monday. I needed to hear you say, it's not about the stuff, it's about the relationships, and mine did actually impact him. I need to go a little slower now, but I WILL get it done👍😊❤
The free bags used to be so plentiful here in New Jersey and I would put stuff in it to take it to Goodwill or put stuff in it to giveaway on our buy nothing Facebook site. But now that we no longer have plastic bags in New Jersey the freebie bags are like gold. You can’t go into a store without bringing your own bags. I bought an organizer and keep them folded neatly in the back of my car. Great video.
Hi Dawn, nice to see another NJ person in the comments! We’re in Sussex County. Getting used to the “have to” of bringing our own bags and trying to remember to put them right back in the car! Amy :)
Same where I live, but I have always been partial to a good bag...always comes in handy. I keep them mainly in the car as Murphy's Law, when you need them, you will need them all at once. I spotted a woman coming out of the supermarket last weekend with her groceries piled up very carefully but precariously in her arms, so I offered her one of my freebie bags. She was delighted to accept, and it was my random act of kindness for the day!
Years ago, I got some really nice cloth shopping bags from Kohl’s that were larger than the normal reusable bags, and they had a sturdy bottom because there were cardboard or plastic pieces sewn in. They folded up and snapped together. Cashiers always thought they were the coolest. Two fit easily in the pocket inside my car door. Wish I had some of those now.
I shop as little as possible, but now that I have a vehicle that seats more than two, I keep a foam ice chest in the back just in case I need to make a stop on the way home. I also keep a couple reusable bags inside or underneath it at all times.
My little dude is starting pre-school and my mom watches him during the day. "We" save ALL of his artwork and paperwork and progress. I'm trying but I get my emotional attachment from my mom. One thing that has helped is we picked up a bunch of blank card size envelopes and now Little Dude's art work is holiday greeting card/art. And when he watercolors on 8.5"x11" paper, I take it to work and use that for printing off my shopping list, or binder divider pages, etc. It's been helping, but it definitely doesn't handle it all!!
My daughter started school this year, I've been keeping all her art work in a container and at the end of the year I'll pick my favourite and frame it. One piece of art a year is inventory that I can manage and by framing and hanging it we will actually get to see it versus having it in a storage bin.
Getting ready to sell our house and I’ve been decluttering and minimizing for about a year with you. I am soooooo thankful for all of your tips, truth, and encouragement over that year. There is a huge change in our house and now that we are trying to get it on the market it’s so much easier because we don’t have that much stuff and it’s easier to let things go because our decluttering muscles are stronger now. Minimalism has really changed our lives for the better. Thank you so much for what you do, Dawn! May God bless you and your family.
I also started making big strides in decluttering / simplifying our home last summer (June 2022). Along with this, I had already started being much more intentional about buying less, spending less, acquiring less - bringing fewer items into the home (one in - one out... or when possible... I have had a new mantra when shopping: "one in - THREE out - or do without"). I still have a lot of work to do (mentally, emotionally, physically) toward an uncluttered home, but attribute my success to TH-camrs like DAWN and her crew (Cas, Dana, etc) and a few others I've been watching for the past year. For the last 9 years, my husband and I have been renting his grandparents house after they passed away (my in-laws bought it and we've been renting from them) since the family didn't have the heart to put the house on the market at the time. The plan has always been for us to "rent-to-own" but we never really set the timeline for when we'd buy it. Well, that time came in September 2022: the in-laws suddenly decided they no longer want to be landlords or carry that financial burden anymore. So, decluttering because I wanted to simplify the home, maybe start on some home improvements... the plans changed. We may not have been as financially prepared for this new chapter of our lives as we would have liked... but here we are. So these last 3 months have been scary, overwhelming, stressful... full of ups and downs, sleepless nights, mortgage applications, cleaning up our credit, and figuring out if we would be able to buy the house and stay in what we've always pictured as our "forever home," or if we'd have to suddenly uproot our lives, pack up everything and move... in winter (it gets VERY cold/snowy where we live) and with a bad housing market at the moment, it is very hard to find an affordable place. But thanks to my mindset shift about spending less/buying less/bringing less into the house/using what we have, and lots of decluttering/downsizing up to this point, we just Closed on the house and had enough space to move our friend in as a tenant! Though this wasn't the initial reason I had started decluttering, I'm grateful for how things came together.
"There are no miracle products". This one got me. I'm always buying things that promise miracles and the worst for me is the stuff advertised on FB. I have yet to purchase something I've seen on FB that I didn't wind up throwing out. I wish I had taken marketing back in the day to see just how ads (or now influencers) talk us into these things!
this is my second comment, I did not wait til the end .My Husband and I always accept gifts graciously of any kind, even free food, then after ward at home we can decide what actually enters the home , "things ", "items" can always be donated given to some one else or tossed. I have a silent inner motto , I like quality "things".. and we have to decide what that quality definition is , even if the quality is time and peace of mind. thank you for that and the magic is in the motion not the potion. The simpliest beauty routine is usually the cheapest and the best.....and isn't minimalism about simplifying everything?
There are plenty of recipes that use creamed corn. :-). Make a creamed corn casserole, take it to a potluck, to a neighbor or friend, take it to a family dinner with the parents..... Our library has a monthly book sale... they can always use bags .
I'm trying to get my extended family on board with a system I came up with. Whenever any of us want to buy/thrift/pass down/order/make a random item for someone-- we text a pic of it to that person. And if that person wishes not to add it to their home inventory, all they have to do is text back, "No thanks" I've done it with my adult children several times now and they've said "No thanks". It's funny how my first reaction was to be hurt or offended, but then I reminded myself that it isn't a personal attack on me. Now they know I was thinking of them. And I also know they don't have to be burdened with something that wouldn't bring them joy or serve a purpose for them. It's a win/win. A gift should benefit the person receiving it, not only just person giving it.
We do that in my family too. Helps to avoid guilty clutter, since nobody ends up with stuff from each other they don't need/want. No one feels put on the spot either--they have a chance to think about whether they really want the things, instead of having items handed to them, which can make it harder to say No thanks.
It also works the other way around: one of my parents remarried when I was in my 20s and they had to fuse to households into one. They have a lot of storage space and kept more than they need. If we need something for my little family, we always ask if they have something in their “warehouse” as they call it. It’s great! They are happy to get rid of more things and I’m very happy with the two garden chairs we got, because ours broke.
My brother did this with my mom's household goods when she died. He sent emails with pictures to the six grandkids and asked who wanted what. I thought it worked well but then realized the grandkids didn't want anything, and I got left with a lot of stuff. I don't quite understand their generation because I have always collected old furniture to restore, and cranberry glass. They don't collect anything but books. And no one wanted my mom' photos, or those of her mother. I just cant bring myself to throw out family photos from 1920s thru to today.
@@jonap5740 Oh gosh, I wouldn't have been able to get rid of those precious photos either! Sentimental items are the hardest for me. Sorry that you ended up with so many of the items, but hopefully you did receive items that were most sentimental to you. And the rest you could donate? You never know what will be a treasure to someone else!
Yes!! Receiving a gift from someone is so kind and then what we do with it after is our decision. My Grandmother passed away this last week and our family was asking what each of us wanted as a keepsake. So, I thought it through and only chose items that fit my style and what I actually needed for our home. It was so fulfilling to place these special things in our home with no guilt thinking I overdid it on the receiving end. Love you and your uplifting channel.💕
Aww Dawn,thanks for the dishcloth story! I really appreciate that u are willing to take things to avoid hurting someone even if u need to pass it on later!
When you mentioned the moment you watched someone reject a gift, I related to that so much. When I was starting my simple journey, there wasn’t much support from my friends (they are older than me) & here in the south, people give you stuff you don’t want & don’t need. I would reject them or resent those gifts because of “minimalist living rules” from all these TH-camrs and Instagramers that everything had to be brown and black a modern and matching. It wasn’t until about January that I realized that’s NOT me. It doesn’t me that simple living isn’t good for me, but learning that minimalism isn’t an aesthetic or style but rather a tool to help you save money & get rid of clutter in your life. Simple living helped me get off my phone & not buy things I didn’t use & stop guilting myself for not being Pinterest worthy. I don’t even know most of the trends now days & don’t have Pinterest either. I’m thankful for simple living & I’m thankful for gifts that come from the heart even if they don’t fit into the ‘aesthetic’ of a ‘minimalist home’
Yep, my sister told me what's wrong with one more thing whats wrong with being a maximalist...I know full well that she does not support my journey for being minimal so I took the stuff and am decluttering what I do not want
I read the Cozy Minimalist by Myquillin Smith and I love how it is about the most amount of style with the least amount of stuff. I highly recommend it!
You have been so helpful and I appreciate the constant reminders that people trump stuff. Yesterday i was able to get rid of 3 notebooks from homeschool days that I haven't used in years. There was nobody to celebrate with me (so I am sharing it here because I am on this declutter journey myself in our house) BUT it felt SO GOOD!
My previous housemate (a 70 year old English lady) had a delightful system for gifts. She graciously and thankfully accepted them, used them for a time, and if she found that they weren’t something she wanted to keep long term, she would simply donate. But I noticed how positively she spoke to me about the person and the gift while she had it. Other things she would keep long term, and she had a beautiful collection of interesting things and they always had a story behind them. I’ll always remember the lessons she taught me just by living with her.
I really like the concept of gracefully receiving gifts… we have our own method called the “Thank You Pile”! Years ago, my mom would shop clearance sections for family gifts. She seemed to believe firmly in quantity over quality, even if it was not exactly what we liked at the time. You can imagine how this went with our family of five! So we literally would secretly make a “thank you pile” of gifts that stayed in the packaging and would never be used in our home! (For example: who needs a football shaped clock?) 😂 So yes! Always consider the giver when saying (internally) thanks, but no thanks!
Yes! Not enough minimalist creators talk about accepting gifts for others sakes. Some members of my family are "treasure hunters" and they love to give away to others. As someone who lives more simply, they often think I need things and gift those items to me, and even though I don't want them, I accept them anyway knowing I will donate them later. It is much easier/better for those relationships to just accept the gifts. ❤️
I will post this on every decluttering video forever: I am a professional artist, and I sure don’t keep everything I make. I keep and sell the best, and some was just for learning. Every professional artist I know doesn’t keep everything either. We get rid of a LOT. The same should be true for our kid’s art.
@@Mieke256 It really helps my 6 year old to get rid of things if we take a photo of it first. This even works for her when she sees something in a store she likes. Instead of begging to buy it, we take a picture for her birthday "wishlist". Most of the time she forgets about them completely or changes her mind. 😄
Your discussion of "miracle products" is so true. I have a bathroom full of "miracle products" that are not. Thank you for your honest discussion about this!
I bypass our crocheted and knitted dishcloths but leave them in the drawer bc I’m down to the last few from relatives that are gone. They make me smile to look at them and I use them to do a pre-company counter wipe and put out because guests mostly remember who made them all. Making more just isn’t the same and this way I treasure them.
I went to an antique store yesterday that I've never been in. I went there looking for a specific thing that I'd googled and found a location to purchase. I didn't buy anything. I didn't feel compelled to buy anything. I considered a couple of things but chose not to buy the items. I will consider what I need and go back if I choose to. I don't want to waste money. I finally realized as I browsed through the isles that I used to buy things because they were cute and unique or had some antique value. But now I'm decluttering and regifting all those very same type of items. Years ago I didn't have the space for them either, but I would try to use the new stuff until the item simply didn't make any sense to keep any more. I went through a Home Goods store a few days ago to kill some time to let traffic die down. It was fun to browse since I hadn't done that for 2 years. I put things in my cart to considered them. Most of them went back. But here's the thing. I never saw what I was doing until I started my decluttering journey. Now I do! It's so important for each of us to see that. All the trial and error and 'it's so cute' and 'gotta have that' stuff is so unnecessary. It's kept me financially struggling all my life. What a blessing to finally see this and choose a new path. Your channel is what helped me start this journey and I want to thank you for that.I truly appreciate you and what you've done for thousands of people, possibly millions! Thank You!
Good for you, Beverly. You now "get it". We are making the already wealthy businesses richer and ourselves and family poorer when we just part with our HARD EARNED money to buy things we don't have a need for, will not use, already have, like the color, like the scent, and my own favorite that I used, "if I want it I will get it. I work, therefore I deserve". I am now retired and have downsized/moved 3 times and still have stuff I donate when I fill a bag.
I agree. If someone gives you something, take it and say thank you, always. You can do what you need to do with it later. Love your channel and I agree with literally everything you have said about everything. I love living like this with a decluttered and organized home. Thank you
thank you for talking about respecting your kids’ opinions. it’s been a journey accepting that my kids are not dolls that i get to dress up and that just because i read something was the best, most educational toy doesn’t mean they would want to play with it!
I use all those misc. bags as my reusable grocery bags so I don't have to waste plastic. I also agree w/ shopping...I don't like to shop so it's easy for me. I only go to a store when I actually need something. When you go to stores without an actual need, you inevitably find something you think you want...it's their job to create "need" for you. I LOVE the "human first". After all, we can always pass special items along to someone else in need if we truly won't use it. :)
So glad you addressed recieving items graciously! I often say yes to things that are not a "need" when someone offers, as I know my willingness to perhaps help them part with something, may benefit them more then me!
Be a human first, minimalist second. I love that story. So good! I appreciate you sharing your wisdom and perspective. Also, the Justin Case video was one of my favorites too! 😆
I try to limit the things that my family gives to me in terms of gifts. I have been promoting having fancy dinners for mother's day and father's day rather than gifts and will probably extend that to birthdays eventually. If someone outside of my family gives me something, I accept it and appreciate it. I too may donate it at a later day, but in the moment, I am grateful that they thought of me. Many thanks for another great video!
I'm still sticking to my if I bring something new in 2 old things go out. Clothing has become my biggest hang up. But you know if I don't wear it...... Our local charity must love me ! Thank you so much for your inspiration ! Love you ❤
Bringing things in. My friend has ritual when I visit her, we go the her Goodwill store in a high end neighborhood, she fills up a cart, I buy one or two small,practical items to keep her company. We are opposites when it comes to minimalism, however, it brings her great joy that I share this with her. Definitely a no judgement zone. What I don’t use I pass on in the name of supporting charity. And I actually found things to wear.
I totally relate to the cream corn/cornbread story. I accidentally ordered super hot salsa instead of my usual medium. Instead of returning/replacing it, I looked for recipes and bought other stuff to make them. I actually never used the salsa and eventually just put it out on my local Buy Nothing group. I devoted a lot of time and energy to this mistake. Lesson learned.
Thank you for humanizing the decluttering process and being honest about the challenges. I especially appreciate your comment that one can control the inventory in our homes and still be a gracious receiver of gifts. Thank you!
Minimalism is awesome. You only need a certain amount of things. I don't go shopping with friends anymore as an activity I have all I need . Anything more is in the way. I mostly eat at home. Too much Stuff is stressful for me.
My husband was the original Mr.Justin Case. I was always through our 30 years together having to keep things moving back out of the house. He passed away 10 years ago and it took me nearly 3 years to finally get through the extra stuff as well as dealing with the emotional things. Yes 10 years later I still have a couple of very special things like his house coat, a favorite sweat shirt of his things I can hug when I miss him.
Wow Dawn! This video came at the right moment for me! Especially 'the're is no miracle product' train keeps me in their hold. I'm gonna declutter today and feel good about it 😉
I just realized, I never ever watch your videos to the end. You're always so motivating with the things you say, that I start decluttering and cleaning right away. 😂 Thank you for making my life better!
I love your discussion about being human first, and minimalist second. I have had to teach myself that with others … how to accept a gift with grace and to be aware of the love that goes into many offerings. However, I still struggle with my sweet mother. She is the most generous, kind, and giving soul, and her love language is gift giving. However, gifts come weekly … whether it’s small dishes or a piece of clothing that she thought I’d like. It has taken many years, but with her, I’ve had to now continually talk to her about how grateful I am, but that I cannot take anything else on. It’s slowly working, but I feel like I am losing my human side with my mom - one of the most important people in my world.
You will LOVE the corn bake. My recipe is 4 tablespoons melted butter,2 eggs,1 box of Jiffy cornbread,1 can of creamed corn, 1 can of regular corn drained,3/4 cup sourcream. I find baking it in a glass square pan is better than a round casserole pan because it bakes faster. Spray the pan w Pam. 350 for about 45 min. - an hour.
My tip is to decide where it will go before I accept it or buy it. And what needs to leave to make room for it. On the free bag, you could have asked if it had samples or coupons before deciding to accept or not.
I go thru the mail each day. Put the bills in "to be paid" or " needs action" spot on my desk. Husband's mail gets opened and put it where he sits to eat meals. He may need a reminder to go thru his mail, but usually does within a week. Flyers, ads, and junk mail goes in recycling bin. I give myself 48 hours to pay bills. If I don't do this everyday, a piie grows on the counter. Takes longer to deal with the pile, so I'm motivated to take 2 mins to take care of incoming mail daily. The only samples we keep are toothpaste and dental floss; all others go in donate bin. Thank you!
I really liked this video. Very practical. But what I love the most is the reminder to stay human, to value relationships and not to become a legalistic minimalist. Thanks.
Great advice regarding homeschool curriculum. Many people ask me about which reading or math curriculum is the best. May I steal your quote, "It is about the motion not the potion." Most curriculum will work if you just work-it. I heard a speaker one time talk about tailoring the curriculum to your student. So, I ended up with 3 different math books for my 3 kids. Dumb. After a month, I went back to just one. It was the easiest for me to use and the kids all learned. There is no perfect curriculum, and settling for OK or good is easier than finding the best.
I have found that as I have become closer to the Lord I am able to let go of material things easier. I realize they are just things and relationships are more important.
I recorded the Lifetime movie, Dirty Little Secret, starring Melissa Joan Hart, and "ripped from the headlines". It was very illuminating and there were many points that pulled from your videos (and Cass and Dana's) . Watching it assured me that I am not an actual hoarder, but still have waaay too much 'inventory'. It gave me motivation to keep on peeling those onion layers.... and never stop (circumvent that creep!)
Thank you for the reminder to always be keeping the flow of incoming and outgoing. I'm always glad when I get my basement pile out of the house. But no sooner than a week or two later so I have another pile going. It used to frustrate me, but now I remember this is how it should be! 🙌🏻
Great ideas! Also, one of my favorite video clips is the one where your youngest boy is little and creating with cardboard and tape. He’s soooo cute…he makes my heart happy each time you include that clip!
Ah, that inventory...I have been decluttering four generations of stuff from our family home for the last two years. It is overwhelming at times but I am beginning to see the difference. Seeing how things have built up over 70 + years of 'it might be useful' makes it VERY easy not to bring unwanted things home!
I have a rocking chair in my kitchen. It encourages conversation while I'm cooking/ cleaning. After school conversation is now into the second generation. Those bags that come in are immediately hooked on the chair back . If you decant some of your groceries as I do, I breakdownthose boxes and return them into the bag and kids take it out for recycle. It's like opening the mail above the waste basket. Occasionally I buy a $.99 bag with a theme. Ex. Fall decor goes into the Harvest bag and I hang in over a hanger and put in the front closet. If decor is too much for bag it's time to donate. Christmas is the only exception. All other bags are my donate bags.
I used to love Thrift store shopping! It was my jam when I had free time! Now after watching you and taking your course I really don't go much. I will walk out with only a couple items and sometimes nothing at all! I'll be honest it is a bit disappointing, but I like the feeling of a tidy, clean home more.
My perspective is it’s all about “the hunt”. I have a list of things I’m specifically looking for at thrift stores and I enjoy the search even when I’m not successful. When I do find something I’ve been searching for it makes it all so worth it!
I’ve been a huge fan from the beginning. Thank you for being such an inspiration in achieving calm in our homes. You exude such positivity and happiness in your videos! So uplifting. 👍🤗❤️
The cornbread casserole made with the Jiffy mix and creamed corn is really good, and if you don't like it as a casserole you can just cook it longer and it's more cornbread-like. And it's a very easy recipe.
I recently acquired a item for my birthday which i absolutely have no room for and didn't really need even though it was beautiful. It sat out a for a few weeks and every time I saw it I felt divided between not wanting to keep it but wanting to honor my friend. So what I did was take it and some other nice items I was decluttering and I took the items to work and the group of ladies were just crazy about the items and the items all went home with people who really loved them and it made me feel really good about my decision
I knew there was a reason that I waited to watch this. Several years ago I purchased a Circa, disc-bound notebook system that I wanted to love. I tried to use it and just kept feeling it was more complicated than useful for me. Today, I was looking to see how other people use their systems to find a way to make this work for me. Then I saw your video on listening to your stuff and this one that I had missed. I now know, the system components just need to go. Every time I even think about them I feel like I failed. I didn't. It's just not for me. Out it goes to bless someone else. Thank you, Dawn!!
Trust me, Dawn, you definitely want to make the creamed corn recipe! It is super duper easy and it is DEEEE-licious! It is a mainstay for every holiday event that we have. The first thing out of everyone's mouth when they come through the door at Christmas is, "Did you make the corn casserole?" Place a stick of butter in a casserole dish in a 350 degree oven to melt. Mix together the creamed corn, a can of Niblets corn (or if other corn, just drain the juice), the cornbread mix, 8 oz. of sour cream, and 1 cup shredded cheese (we love colby jack). Pour mixture into casserole dish and stir briefly with butter. Bake for 35 to 45 minutes until golden brown but not dry. :0)
I don't know if it was you or someone else that said "after a gift is given do with it what you will." So accept and donate or regift just be careful and give to someone new.
Being human, just a great reminder that we need grace given to others and ourselves. You always make my heart happy when you upload a new video. Your channel, You, Dawn, helped me to realize that stuff shouldn't be the most important thing in your home. (Family is.) I have been on this journey about 8 months. Thanks for always steering the ship in the right direction. (Just in case video is my favorite.)
I love your videos! I have recently started decluttering my home. While on a once in a lifetime trip to Scotland last month my friend I was traveling with kept trying to get me to buy things. I told her I was trying to declutter and didn't want to bring more stuff in. I ended up buying a few things that I would actually use so it didn't feel like clutter. I still have a long way to go, but I will get there. Thank you for your inspiration and encouragement!
I had just started watching your videos & was just beginning to declutter my new-to-me old house (with only 2 small closets), and then Christmas came. My family doesn't normally give large gifts, so I thought everything would be fine. I got a cast iron skillet, a speed blender with 2 bowls (!), a regifted old TV...and I think my mom gave me a pile of linens from her stash. Plus the shipping and gift boxes. I felt like I was drowning, and I am STILL managing all the extra stuff. It's definitely a process, and I'm so grateful to have all of your videos!
Oh yes. THANK YOU for the paper clutter tough love lesson! You have to work the system for it to work! It was such a lightbulb moment for me. Because I was in that spiral of, why am I overwhelmed with paper ALL THE TIME, why won't my systems work, why is this so overwhelming, etc etc etc. After a really chaotic spring, I'm starting to build a new set of routines for my self and house-care. THANK YOU!
I am always taking some time to go through something and get rid of things. Our son recently went to college and we only have our teenage daughter living at home full time so I took this as the motivation to start seriously decluttering. I have a kitchen quarantine box and have already made one trip to the thrift store. It’s amazing how much clutter is in my home that’s been hidden/out of sight and it feels so good to get things out!
my HUGE weakness - - reusable bags!! or honestly containers of any kind. I just KNOW I will have a perfect use for it ONE DAY! ugh... hahahaha.... Right now I'm ok having downsized my addition to ONE bag of bags. (my husband thinks I'm a looney bin for having it). The rest of me is a happy minimalist, and I LOVE not having tons of inventory to weigh me down. Thanks for all your great tips. I can never get through one of your videos without pausing, and checking for clutter somewhere. Its a good thing. 😊
So many great nuggets in this video! Definitely agree with "no miracle products" and "the magic is in the motion, not the potion". I am decreasing the frequency of my thrift store trips and letting my kids pick their clothes more as well. Always excited to watch your videos!!
You can also use creamed corn in corn or clam chowder. Adds a little more creaminess, thickness to the soup. The only thing I regret decluttering was a bench scraper I received as part of a gift basket years ago. I didn’t realize how handy and versatile they were. (I never had used it/assumed I never would until I accidentally came upon a TH-cam video on the many ways to use them.) Now I always look up how to videos before I assume and I also research alternative uses for items just in case they’d be handy or useful in ways I’m not aware of.
Good advice on always accepting gifts! And thanks for the encouragement to keep decluttering for the purpose of having a calm and relaxing home life. And also, great hair today 💕
You said in another video that we should be prepared for commitment requests by having ready some tactful phrases to refuse or defer. Well, forewarned is forearmed; and this relates to 'Clutter Creep' as well. In the example of being surprised by a request of commitment from someone, we often are tripped up by 'impulse moments', like you being handed a samples bag at Walmart. Wisdom says to turn it down, but impulse kicks in and you bring it home. So, how to combat this? Two strategies: 1. Identify the environments/events that set you up for impulse to win over wisdom. -Thrift shops, flea markets, yard sales, home shopping channels, window shopping, Big Deal cyclic sales (Black Friday, Prime Day, etc) are FOMO-driven (Fear Of Missing Out) and can raise your susceptibility to impulse acquisition. -Sporting events, lengthy/expensive trips, weddings, births, engagement, children's accomplishments/milestones, etc induce a desire to preserve the moment through mementos, souvenirs, photos, clothing, pressed flowers, ticket stubs, programs, children's artwork, baby clothes and the like. Being prepared for the natural tendency to get swept up will allow a more critical assessment of items you might rethink about hauling home and storing. 2. Identify the characteristics of categories of things you naturally tend to 'collect'. -What do the things you find difficult to resist or part with have in common? Is it a texture, smell, utility, size, intricacy, material, self-image, or familiarity? Does it evoke an aspiration, a loss, a memory? What exactly does it invoke in you? If you can break that down, you will have better control over it; you take it from reflex to choice. -Are you prone to 'completing collections'? Is it satisfying, compulsive, or obsessive to expand or complete a collection? It can be dish sets, comic book runs, Shakespeare's works, the 1963 complete set of baseball cards, or anything with a finite inventory. It can also be a quality, like interesting sets of salt & pepper shakers, folk art, windchimes, etc. If you can assess what drives that urge to collect, you can begin to edit what you acquire. If you can move past the satisfaction of owning to the practicalities of storage and display, you can move from having the biggest hidden collection to having a professional-quality display collection, which is a definite upgrade. In both of these cases, it helps to think about your vulnerabilities and begin to harden those vulnerabilities by combating 'What If-?' with 'What if I don't-?'. By introducing the awareness of where your vulnerabilities lie and that in the face of these specific situations you can imagine saying 'no', your reflexes include 'no' as an option. It's psychological reprogramming. Just some thoughts...
I love what you said about time and peace of mind beginning important commodities not to be wasted. This so true and something I’ve recently started to value, thanks to you Dawn!☀️
Try out Blinkist for 7 days for FREE plus 25% off a premium membership! www.blinkist.com/theminimalmom Thank you Blinkist for sponsoring today's video! And thank YOU for watching!! I am continually blown away by your kindness and support -- Thank you! Dawn
I just signed up for the free trial.
Very smart!
I love your kindness and humor. I always look forward to seeing you. And Gage’s face always makes me smile. 😊 Your family is beautiful❤
Peter Walsh's book "Let it go" was very helpful to me. He asks some questions that I had not heard before and his assessments of family dynamics when someone passes and we have to deal with the loved ones possessions are spot on!
Yupjj
My grandma (90) is on a very limited income and no longer can afford gifts. When she sees us she likes to give us a bag of things from her apartment. Might be clothes, old towels, costume jewelry, or ketchup and cracker packets from her meals. We never say no. Always, "thank you! " People first! Yes! Afterwards the items can be donated or tossed and she'll never know, but we both walk away feeling blessed.
This reminds me of my husband’s grandmother, who is now 97. We love her so much. She used to send us home with her leftovers and any food or pantry items left by other family members. She also decluttered her and Grandpa’s old clothing and gave them to us. I remember a time I took some of her bras she didn’t like. 😆 Anyhow, we too figured we were helping them to declutter. My daughter still has a red Chanel fleece shirt from grandma. 😁
My dad would give us his meals on wheels. "It s good if you like that kinda stuff."
That is the sweetest gesture❣️U R respecting your Grandmother! Good for U. God Bless Her Heart ♥️
So precious! Thank you for being kind to her by accepting her gifts of love. This reminds me so much of how my mother did before she passed. And, if she went to visit someone, she ALWAYS took them something, even if it was just a new dishcloth, handkerchief, etc. I really miss that now that she’s gone.
Awe bless her heart - so sweet !
Thank you. Many times when I hear the end of your video "I love you, I hope you have a great day, and I'll see you again soon." is the only time anyone has said those nice thing to me for a few days. Thank you.
Same here ❤
Sending you both big hugs!! 💜💜
@Cheryl Wilsenach, sending you hugs!
@Mariane Perry, sending you hugs!
I really love that she says that, too. ❤. Don’t we need human connectedness and kindness these days?
My sister made crocheted dishcloths. They actually are the best. She passed just over a year ago and I cherish those cloths. I have a new one her hubby gave me after she was gone. I’m going to frame it and put in my sewing room. I can’t use the last one!!! ❤️❤️
I am so sorry for your loss ! She left you with such precious memories !
My grandmother crocheted dishcloths as well. When she passed my sister in law and I split up all the dishcloths she had crocheted. Whenever I use one I think of her.
Naomi, I’m so sorry for your loss. Framing the dishcloth is a wonderful idea! Sending you hugs and prayers.
I am so sorry for the loss of your sister. What a beautiful way to remember her. ❤
💜💜
"The magic is in the motion, not in the potion" is so true. Small things done consistently has been a game changer for us. A short 15 minutes every day of tidying and/or decluttering has brought me so much farther than occasional decluttering marathon sessions.
Agreed! 15 mins a day is all you need!
And 15 minutes to tidy up is easy too!
And I find a quick walk around the block is better than waiting until I have time to have a nice long walk. ...cuz then it will never happen at all😉 It helps clear the mind and put me in a better more productive mood and then usually later I have gotten so much done I can go for another walk!
Yes! I kept waiting until I felt like I had bigger blocks of time to get started on decluttering and that time never happened. Consistency over time really does add up to great progress!
Good word
Never any need to minimise kindness. I’m glad you accepted the dishcloth!
I think of when I rejected things when I was young. Wish I could redo it😥
I think of when I rejected things when I was young. Wish I could redo it😥
@@cherylwebb8340 Don’t be too hard on yourself. We live and learn…
Well said
When my son was little (and creating SO much artwork, especially through a couple of cool summer art camps for a few years), we shared with family and close friends. I'd mail one of his creations along with a little note to aunts, uncles, etc., and used it as a way to show love and keep in touch. One of my cousins later told me how much her mom (my aunt) adored getting things in the mail from us...and kept whatever latest offering from her great-nephew on her fridge. This was a fantastic way to keep in touch, spread the love, and "upcycle" instead of just tossing or recycling (or ever feeling the need to keep all of it). xoxo
I love what you had to say at the end about being “human” first.
Also, I have 8 kids and you have motivated me to declutter! I think a lot of people think that large families must need a lot of stuff. No. Too much stuff just makes life more complicated.
Blessings to you!
Eight!! Many blessings to you… and a good nights sleep I hope!
I also have eight and I would super-Amen this. Once I crossed over the fourth baby bridge, I began to sink under the stuff when I had been managing just fine before. Dawn threw me a lifeline and I couldnt be more thankful. And when people pass me things I am also so thankful. They are often very helpful and save me serious money, but I always sit with a donation box and sort the moment it comes through the door, so I don't start sinking again.
Yes. I agree 100%. I have 7 kids
Yep 8 kids here too and I love getting hand me downs but I’m also very selective about what I want to manage and what would be too much!!
And I never feel guilty about donating what I don’t need because I know for a fact that my friends don’t want me to be overwhelmed by what they give me, they want me to be blessed..not stressed
6 kids here, and SO true!! Less really is more!
A year ago we began a major home renovation. As empty-nesters, we needed to age-in-place our home. After a quick purge (the first layer of the onion, so to speak), we put everything we owned into storage. During this time we lived the basements of two separate, very kind friends. My husband and I each took a small suitcase, a laptop and cell phone, and a file box of desk supplies, etc. This was more than enough!
In December we moved back in to our half-finished home. We set up a small kitchen table with a microwave, next to our old refrigerator. We had a bed and 2 side tables, a TV, electricity, hot and cold running water in the one functioning bathroom - and we were as happy as clams! Last month we moved all our old furniture out of storage, putting about one third into the garage to either sell, donate or junk, with more added weekly. As we unpack all the little things, it's the same: get rid of anything we don't want to spend time and money taking care of.
Also during the last year my father passed away and my mother downsized to a small apartment. There were many antiques, all family heirlooms with huge sentimental value, that no one in my large extended family of three generations would take. Same thing again: sell, donate or junk. Our cell phones came in handy as we took pictures which we are uploading to a shared family WiFi digital frame app on our laptops. The memories and conversations around these objects are way more important than the value of these antiques, and every one has kept whatever they wanted as a gift from my parents, grandparents and great-grandparents.
I have been following Dawn for a couple of years, and her wise words about inventory and time have all come together at once for me. Many thanks!
Very long post - my apologies!
Aww Dawn, I can completely relate to this. When I’m getting rid of “gifts” now I either say sorry to the person in my head or sorry to the item or sorry to the universe! It sounds absolutely bonkers but it does help! Xx
Tip from Marie Kondo is instead of apologizing (because you’re not doing anything wrong!!) is to say thank you. So in my head or out loud to the item/universe, I say “Thanks for this intention”, or “thanks for this gift” and “it’s fulfilled it purpose, time to pass this on”.
@@massages_for_world_peace8909 that’s lovely, thank you for the tip. 👍🏻
Yes! My aunt says “Thank you for the service you given me” and then retires it. “Retiring” something feels so much better than “tossing” it 😊
I use the free bags as donation bags. Usually the place receiving the donation can always use bags.
Donation bags! Great idea. I am looking for boxes, but I won’t need as many because I have a ton of free bags I’ve accumulated! Thanks!
Genius
"The commodity I'm worried about wasting now is time not money." -Dawn
This is Huge!! I really needed to hear this! It gives me the permission I've been needing to be in the current season I'm in with baby #7 on the way! Blessing on you -Rachel ☺️
Yes! That was such a good quote.
At the beginning of Covid I stocked up on dried beans but never worked them into our regular routine. I kept holding onto even expired beans until one day I donated them to my son’s preschool for the sensory bins. Not only was I grateful to find a joyful use for my waste, but now when I am tempted to gather materials for a new project I remember my beans and ask myself, am I ready to take this on? The experience of letting go has instilled that principle a little deeper in my bones.
I make rice and bean in my rice cooker, with carrots (+ seasoning). Easy, cheap, and nutritious.
Lots of wisdom in this video. Human first, minimalist second. Motion not potion. Be kind to others and don't disappoint kids or those who do something for you. Graciously accept and pass on to those who can use it. If everything's special, nothing is. We're all a work in progress.
My current challenge is clothes. Over the past year I lost weight (yay!) and dropped 2 sizes. I’m going through my closet intentionally and donating what no longer fits. I’m trying hard to be intentional about what I buy to replace through mostly Amazon and consignment store. In the old days, I would have gone to the mall and dropped way too much money. Your videos on clothes have been so helpful. When I’m trying on clothes I hear your voice “I refuse to let my clothes mock me”, “it’s fine, but I don’t love it”, “ I don’t need another dress, I only need one pair of bootcut dark jeans”. I’m so grateful for your words of wisdom Dawn ❤️
Congratulations on loosing weight, it's hard!!
I am in the same boat!! I’ve lost 50+ lbs, and I found myself going a little bit shopping crazy because it was fun and felt good. But worse than that is that it’s hard for me to get rid of the clothes that are now too big ‘just in case’ I gain the weight back and need them again 🥴
I have lost 80 pounds. Have kept it off almost a year! Donated the clothes and hope someone gets to enjoy them. It was tempting to buy too many new clothes but I enjoy my decluttered life. Thank you Dawn.
I love this channel. I have finished my living room, kitchen and have emptied out a nine drawer dresser a credenza with 6 levels for storage this is my craft area. I am 69 and feel weightless. Thank you
I love that you accepted the dish cloth she made. It was made with love and she just wanted to share that love
My late MIL's love language was gift giving. When on a limited income, she would shop at the Dollar Tree and wrap gifts for our family. I was always polite, but not enthusiastic until I read the 5 Love Languages. Once I understood that this was her way to express love, I received it more warmly and authentically. I would never refuse a gift, but might pass on the freebie bag from Walmart.
This video makes such a good point about how the cost of things isn’t what you pay for them - it’s the time and stress of dealing with them forever after. The creamed corn corn bread is literally dump and bake. You’ll be glad you tried it.
Try the cornbread, Dawn! You’ll love it!
I love the crocheted dishcloth story. Kindness trumps the decluttering mandate. Very touching🥰
Keeping boxes for a friend who was moving. Thought I was doing good, only to find they had professional movers and didn’t need boxes! 🤯 Reasoning that they are good boxes don’t want to dump them, so put word out in our village and found home for them today! But been living with these boxes for months. Kindness over sense! Hahaha
I just accepted a shawl from a friend for my birthday that is something I'm certain I'll never wear. She's aware that I minimize. She's also on a fixed income and gave it as a token of our friendship. Of course I accepted it and it is in my donate box. I know I'm loved so the gift accomplished the intent.
Take a photo of it as a reminder of her love.
OMG something you just said hit me right between the eyes. I have been laser focused on decluttering my house and making my husband miserable.
I guess i have been trying so hard to declutter that i get excited and exhausted at the same time. We had a major blow out.....and we never fight.....
I did a few things when he went to the store and decided to take this weekend totally off. I've just laid around and am doing nothing until Monday. I needed to hear you say, it's not about the stuff, it's about the relationships, and mine did actually impact him. I need to go a little slower now, but I WILL get it done👍😊❤
The free bags used to be so plentiful here in New Jersey and I would put stuff in it to take it to Goodwill or put stuff in it to giveaway on our buy nothing Facebook site. But now that we no longer have plastic bags in New Jersey the freebie bags are like gold. You can’t go into a store without bringing your own bags. I bought an organizer and keep them folded neatly in the back of my car. Great video.
Hi Dawn, nice to see another NJ person in the comments! We’re in Sussex County. Getting used to the “have to” of bringing our own bags and trying to remember to put them right back in the car!
Amy :)
Same where I live, but I have always been partial to a good bag...always comes in handy. I keep them mainly in the car as Murphy's Law, when you need them, you will need them all at once. I spotted a woman coming out of the supermarket last weekend with her groceries piled up very carefully but precariously in her arms, so I offered her one of my freebie bags. She was delighted to accept, and it was my random act of kindness for the day!
California is the same way. Almost all stores charge for a plastic bag so keeping them in my car is the way to go.
Years ago, I got some really nice cloth shopping bags from Kohl’s that were larger than the normal reusable bags, and they had a sturdy bottom because there were cardboard or plastic pieces sewn in. They folded up and snapped together. Cashiers always thought they were the coolest. Two fit easily in the pocket inside my car door. Wish I had some of those now.
I shop as little as possible, but now that I have a vehicle that seats more than two, I keep a foam ice chest in the back just in case I need to make a stop on the way home. I also keep a couple reusable bags inside or underneath it at all times.
My little dude is starting pre-school and my mom watches him during the day. "We" save ALL of his artwork and paperwork and progress. I'm trying but I get my emotional attachment from my mom. One thing that has helped is we picked up a bunch of blank card size envelopes and now Little Dude's art work is holiday greeting card/art. And when he watercolors on 8.5"x11" paper, I take it to work and use that for printing off my shopping list, or binder divider pages, etc. It's been helping, but it definitely doesn't handle it all!!
My daughter started school this year, I've been keeping all her art work in a container and at the end of the year I'll pick my favourite and frame it. One piece of art a year is inventory that I can manage and by framing and hanging it we will actually get to see it versus having it in a storage bin.
I wish that I understood that concept when my kids were little. Now they are adults and I have a ton of stuff. Ugh!
Ok that “there are no miracle products” goes right up there with “managing inventory” in terms of excellent advice. Thank you!!
Getting ready to sell our house and I’ve been decluttering and minimizing for about a year with you. I am soooooo thankful for all of your tips, truth, and encouragement over that year. There is a huge change in our house and now that we are trying to get it on the market it’s so much easier because we don’t have that much stuff and it’s easier to let things go because our decluttering muscles are stronger now. Minimalism has really changed our lives for the better. Thank you so much for what you do, Dawn! May God bless you and your family.
I also started making big strides in decluttering / simplifying our home last summer (June 2022). Along with this, I had already started being much more intentional about buying less, spending less, acquiring less - bringing fewer items into the home (one in - one out... or when possible... I have had a new mantra when shopping: "one in - THREE out - or do without"). I still have a lot of work to do (mentally, emotionally, physically) toward an uncluttered home, but attribute my success to TH-camrs like DAWN and her crew (Cas, Dana, etc) and a few others I've been watching for the past year.
For the last 9 years, my husband and I have been renting his grandparents house after they passed away (my in-laws bought it and we've been renting from them) since the family didn't have the heart to put the house on the market at the time. The plan has always been for us to "rent-to-own" but we never really set the timeline for when we'd buy it. Well, that time came in September 2022: the in-laws suddenly decided they no longer want to be landlords or carry that financial burden anymore. So, decluttering because I wanted to simplify the home, maybe start on some home improvements... the plans changed. We may not have been as financially prepared for this new chapter of our lives as we would have liked... but here we are. So these last 3 months have been scary, overwhelming, stressful... full of ups and downs, sleepless nights, mortgage applications, cleaning up our credit, and figuring out if we would be able to buy the house and stay in what we've always pictured as our "forever home," or if we'd have to suddenly uproot our lives, pack up everything and move... in winter (it gets VERY cold/snowy where we live) and with a bad housing market at the moment, it is very hard to find an affordable place. But thanks to my mindset shift about spending less/buying less/bringing less into the house/using what we have, and lots of decluttering/downsizing up to this point, we just Closed on the house and had enough space to move our friend in as a tenant! Though this wasn't the initial reason I had started decluttering, I'm grateful for how things came together.
Grace extended to ourselves is so important!
I'm using those Walmart bags to organize my deep freezer.
"There are no miracle products". This one got me. I'm always buying things that promise miracles and the worst for me is the stuff advertised on FB. I have yet to purchase something I've seen on FB that I didn't wind up throwing out. I wish I had taken marketing back in the day to see just how ads (or now influencers) talk us into these things!
Love that! “Magic in the MOTION, not the POTION”.
this is my second comment, I did not wait til the end .My Husband and I always accept gifts graciously of any kind, even free food, then after ward at home we can decide what actually enters the home , "things ", "items" can always be donated given to some one else or tossed. I have a silent inner motto , I like quality "things".. and we have to decide what that quality definition is , even if the quality is time and peace of mind. thank you for that and the magic is in the motion not the potion. The simpliest beauty routine is usually the cheapest and the best.....and isn't minimalism about simplifying everything?
There are plenty of recipes that use creamed corn. :-). Make a creamed corn casserole, take it to a potluck, to a neighbor or friend, take it to a family dinner with the parents..... Our library has a monthly book sale... they can always use bags .
Thank you for the comment on receiving gifts. People are important.
I'm trying to get my extended family on board with a system I came up with. Whenever any of us want to buy/thrift/pass down/order/make a random item for someone-- we text a pic of it to that person. And if that person wishes not to add it to their home inventory, all they have to do is text back, "No thanks" I've done it with my adult children several times now and they've said "No thanks". It's funny how my first reaction was to be hurt or offended, but then I reminded myself that it isn't a personal attack on me. Now they know I was thinking of them. And I also know they don't have to be burdened with something that wouldn't bring them joy or serve a purpose for them. It's a win/win. A gift should benefit the person receiving it, not only just person giving it.
We do that in my family too. Helps to avoid guilty clutter, since nobody ends up with stuff from each other they don't need/want. No one feels put on the spot either--they have a chance to think about whether they really want the things, instead of having items handed to them, which can make it harder to say No thanks.
It also works the other way around: one of my parents remarried when I was in my 20s and they had to fuse to households into one. They have a lot of storage space and kept more than they need. If we need something for my little family, we always ask if they have something in their “warehouse” as they call it. It’s great! They are happy to get rid of more things and I’m very happy with the two garden chairs we got, because ours broke.
My brother did this with my mom's household goods when she died. He sent emails with pictures to the six grandkids and asked who wanted what. I thought it worked well but then realized the grandkids didn't want anything, and I got left with a lot of stuff. I don't quite understand their generation because I have always collected old furniture to restore, and cranberry glass. They don't collect anything but books. And no one wanted my mom' photos, or those of her mother. I just cant bring myself to throw out family photos from 1920s thru to today.
@@jonap5740 Oh gosh, I wouldn't have been able to get rid of those precious photos either! Sentimental items are the hardest for me. Sorry that you ended up with so many of the items, but hopefully you did receive items that were most sentimental to you. And the rest you could donate? You never know what will be a treasure to someone else!
So glad you are here today
Yes!! Receiving a gift from someone is so kind and then what we do with it after is our decision. My Grandmother passed away this last week and our family was asking what each of us wanted as a keepsake. So, I thought it through and only chose items that fit my style and what I actually needed for our home. It was so fulfilling to place these special things in our home with no guilt thinking I overdid it on the receiving end. Love you and your uplifting channel.💕
Aww Dawn,thanks for the dishcloth story! I really appreciate that u are willing to take things to avoid hurting someone even if u need to pass it on later!
When you mentioned the moment you watched someone reject a gift, I related to that so much. When I was starting my simple journey, there wasn’t much support from my friends (they are older than me) & here in the south, people give you stuff you don’t want & don’t need. I would reject them or resent those gifts because of “minimalist living rules” from all these TH-camrs and Instagramers that everything had to be brown and black a modern and matching. It wasn’t until about January that I realized that’s NOT me. It doesn’t me that simple living isn’t good for me, but learning that minimalism isn’t an aesthetic or style but rather a tool to help you save money & get rid of clutter in your life. Simple living helped me get off my phone & not buy things I didn’t use & stop guilting myself for not being Pinterest worthy. I don’t even know most of the trends now days & don’t have Pinterest either. I’m thankful for simple living & I’m thankful for gifts that come from the heart even if they don’t fit into the ‘aesthetic’ of a ‘minimalist home’
Yep, my sister told me what's wrong with one more thing whats wrong with being a maximalist...I know full well that she does not support my journey for being minimal so I took the stuff and am decluttering what I do not want
I read the Cozy Minimalist by Myquillin Smith and I love how it is about the most amount of style with the least amount of stuff. I highly recommend it!
You have been so helpful and I appreciate the constant reminders that people trump stuff. Yesterday i was able to get rid of 3 notebooks from homeschool days that I haven't used in years. There was nobody to celebrate with me (so I am sharing it here because I am on this declutter journey myself in our house) BUT it felt SO GOOD!
🥳🥳
My previous housemate (a 70 year old English lady) had a delightful system for gifts.
She graciously and thankfully accepted them, used them for a time, and if she found that they weren’t something she wanted to keep long term, she would simply donate.
But I noticed how positively she spoke to me about the person and the gift while she had it.
Other things she would keep long term, and she had a beautiful collection of interesting things and they always had a story behind them.
I’ll always remember the lessons she taught me just by living with her.
I really like the concept of gracefully receiving gifts… we have our own method called the “Thank You Pile”! Years ago, my mom would shop clearance sections for family gifts. She seemed to believe firmly in quantity over quality, even if it was not exactly what we liked at the time. You can imagine how this went with our family of five! So we literally would secretly make a “thank you pile” of gifts that stayed in the packaging and would never be used in our home! (For example: who needs a football shaped clock?) 😂 So yes! Always consider the giver when saying (internally) thanks, but no thanks!
Yes! Not enough minimalist creators talk about accepting gifts for others sakes. Some members of my family are "treasure hunters" and they love to give away to others. As someone who lives more simply, they often think I need things and gift those items to me, and even though I don't want them, I accept them anyway knowing I will donate them later. It is much easier/better for those relationships to just accept the gifts. ❤️
I will post this on every decluttering video forever: I am a professional artist, and I sure don’t keep everything I make. I keep and sell the best, and some was just for learning. Every professional artist I know doesn’t keep everything either. We get rid of a LOT. The same should be true for our kid’s art.
Thank you for sharing! I will tell my 6 year old this, when she has difficulty again letting go of art work.
@@Mieke256 It really helps my 6 year old to get rid of things if we take a photo of it first. This even works for her when she sees something in a store she likes. Instead of begging to buy it, we take a picture for her birthday "wishlist". Most of the time she forgets about them completely or changes her mind. 😄
Your discussion of "miracle products" is so true. I have a bathroom full of "miracle products" that are not. Thank you for your honest discussion about this!
I love your gracious attitude. A gracious woman retains honor.
"I am a person first and a minimalist second." I love that!
I bypass our crocheted and knitted dishcloths but leave them in the drawer bc I’m down to the last few from relatives that are gone. They make me smile to look at them and I use them to do a pre-company counter wipe and put out because guests mostly remember who made them all. Making more just isn’t the same and this way I treasure them.
I went to an antique store yesterday that I've never been in. I went there looking for a specific thing that I'd googled and found a location to purchase. I didn't buy anything. I didn't feel compelled to buy anything. I considered a couple of things but chose not to buy the items. I will consider what I need and go back if I choose to. I don't want to waste money. I finally realized as I browsed through the isles that I used to buy things because they were cute and unique or had some antique value. But now I'm decluttering and regifting all those very same type of items. Years ago I didn't have the space for them either, but I would try to use the new stuff until the item simply didn't make any sense to keep any more. I went through a Home Goods store a few days ago to kill some time to let traffic die down. It was fun to browse since I hadn't done that for 2 years. I put things in my cart to considered them. Most of them went back. But here's the thing. I never saw what I was doing until I started my decluttering journey. Now I do! It's so important for each of us to see that. All the trial and error and 'it's so cute' and 'gotta have that' stuff is so unnecessary. It's kept me financially struggling all my life. What a blessing to finally see this and choose a new path. Your channel is what helped me start this journey and I want to thank you for that.I truly appreciate you and what you've done for thousands of people, possibly millions! Thank You!
Good for you, Beverly. You now "get it". We are making the already wealthy businesses richer and ourselves and family poorer when we just part with our HARD EARNED money to buy things we don't have a need for, will not use, already have, like the color, like the scent, and my own favorite that I used, "if I want it I will get it. I work, therefore I deserve". I am now retired and have downsized/moved 3 times and still have stuff I donate when I fill a bag.
I agree. If someone gives you something, take it and say thank you, always. You can do what you need to do with it later. Love your channel and I agree with literally everything you have said about everything. I love living like this with a decluttered and organized home. Thank you
The stuffing mix IS good. I make it as a side with crock pot chicken. Look up corn pudding recipe! Super simple. Makes a 9x11 casserole
thank you for talking about respecting your kids’ opinions. it’s been a journey accepting that my kids are not dolls that i get to dress up and that just because i read something was the best, most educational toy doesn’t mean they would want to play with it!
I use all those misc. bags as my reusable grocery bags so I don't have to waste plastic. I also agree w/ shopping...I don't like to shop so it's easy for me. I only go to a store when I actually need something. When you go to stores without an actual need, you inevitably find something you think you want...it's their job to create "need" for you. I LOVE the "human first". After all, we can always pass special items along to someone else in need if we truly won't use it. :)
So glad you addressed recieving items graciously! I often say yes to things that are not a "need" when someone offers, as I know my willingness to perhaps help them part with something, may benefit them more then me!
Be a human first, minimalist second. I love that story. So good! I appreciate you sharing your wisdom and perspective. Also, the Justin Case video was one of my favorites too! 😆
I try to limit the things that my family gives to me in terms of gifts. I have been promoting having fancy dinners for mother's day and father's day rather than gifts and will probably extend that to birthdays eventually. If someone outside of my family gives me something, I accept it and appreciate it. I too may donate it at a later day, but in the moment, I am grateful that they thought of me. Many thanks for another great video!
I'm still sticking to my if I bring something new in 2 old things go out. Clothing has become my biggest hang up. But you know if I don't wear it...... Our local charity must love me ! Thank you so much for your inspiration ! Love you ❤
Bringing things in. My friend has ritual when I visit her, we go the her Goodwill store in a high end neighborhood, she fills up a cart, I buy one or two small,practical items to keep her company. We are opposites when it comes to minimalism, however, it brings her great joy that I share this with her. Definitely a no judgement zone. What I don’t use I pass on in the name of supporting charity. And I actually found things to wear.
I like how you handled the crochet dish cloth. Thats wisdom!
I totally relate to the cream corn/cornbread story. I accidentally ordered super hot salsa instead of my usual medium. Instead of returning/replacing it, I looked for recipes and bought other stuff to make them. I actually never used the salsa and eventually just put it out on my local Buy Nothing group. I devoted a lot of time and energy to this mistake. Lesson learned.
Thank you for humanizing the decluttering process and being honest about the challenges. I especially appreciate your comment that one can control the inventory in our homes and still be a gracious receiver of gifts. Thank you!
Minimalism is awesome. You only need a certain amount of things. I don't go shopping with friends anymore as an activity
I have all I need . Anything more is in the way. I mostly eat at home. Too much Stuff is stressful for me.
After moving I'm bringing to think I regret it all 😂😂 So Glad I found you 2 years ago and decluttered then!!
My husband was the original Mr.Justin Case. I was always through our 30 years together having to keep things moving back out of the house. He passed away 10 years ago and it took me nearly 3 years to finally get through the extra stuff as well as dealing with the emotional things. Yes 10 years later I still have a couple of very special things like his house coat, a favorite sweat shirt of his things I can hug when I miss him.
Wow Dawn! This video came at the right moment for me! Especially 'the're is no miracle product' train keeps me in their hold. I'm gonna declutter today and feel good about it 😉
I just realized, I never ever watch your videos to the end.
You're always so motivating with the things you say, that I start decluttering and cleaning right away. 😂
Thank you for making my life better!
I love your discussion about being human first, and minimalist second. I have had to teach myself that with others … how to accept a gift with grace and to be aware of the love that goes into many offerings. However, I still struggle with my sweet mother. She is the most generous, kind, and giving soul, and her love language is gift giving. However, gifts come weekly … whether it’s small dishes or a piece of clothing that she thought I’d like. It has taken many years, but with her, I’ve had to now continually talk to her about how grateful I am, but that I cannot take anything else on. It’s slowly working, but I feel like I am losing my human side with my mom - one of the most important people in my world.
You will LOVE the corn bake. My recipe is 4 tablespoons melted butter,2 eggs,1 box of Jiffy cornbread,1 can of creamed corn, 1 can of regular corn drained,3/4 cup sourcream. I find baking it in a glass square pan is better than a round casserole pan because it bakes faster. Spray the pan w Pam. 350 for about 45 min. - an hour.
My tip is to decide where it will go before I accept it or buy it. And what needs to leave to make room for it. On the free bag, you could have asked if it had samples or coupons before deciding to accept or not.
I go thru the mail each day. Put the bills in "to be paid" or " needs action" spot on my desk. Husband's mail gets opened and put it where he sits to eat meals. He may need a reminder to go thru his mail, but usually does within a week. Flyers, ads, and junk mail goes in recycling bin. I give myself 48 hours to pay bills. If I don't do this everyday, a piie grows on the counter. Takes longer to deal with the pile, so I'm motivated to take
2 mins to take care of incoming mail daily. The only samples we keep are toothpaste and dental floss; all others go in donate bin. Thank you!
“The magic is in the motion, not the potion” this is soooooo true!
Since I've started watching your channel I have become more aware of what I need vs what I want in my home and life.
I really liked this video. Very practical. But what I love the most is the reminder to stay human, to value relationships and not to become a legalistic minimalist. Thanks.
Great advice regarding homeschool curriculum. Many people ask me about which reading or math curriculum is the best. May I steal your quote, "It is about the motion not the potion." Most curriculum will work if you just work-it. I heard a speaker one time talk about tailoring the curriculum to your student. So, I ended up with 3 different math books for my 3 kids. Dumb. After a month, I went back to just one. It was the easiest for me to use and the kids all learned. There is no perfect curriculum, and settling for OK or good is easier than finding the best.
You’re so right about that motto working for curriculum! I need to remember that this year during the inevitable schlump that happens!
I have found that as I have become closer to the Lord I am able to let go of material things easier. I realize they are just things and relationships are more important.
I recorded the Lifetime movie, Dirty Little Secret, starring Melissa Joan Hart, and "ripped from the headlines". It was very illuminating and there were many points that pulled from your videos (and Cass and Dana's) . Watching it assured me that I am not an actual hoarder, but still have waaay too much 'inventory'. It gave me motivation to keep on peeling those onion layers.... and never stop (circumvent that creep!)
Thank you for the reminder to always be keeping the flow of incoming and outgoing. I'm always glad when I get my basement pile out of the house. But no sooner than a week or two later so I have another pile going. It used to frustrate me, but now I remember this is how it should be! 🙌🏻
Great ideas! Also, one of my favorite video clips is the one where your youngest boy is little and creating with cardboard and tape. He’s soooo cute…he makes my heart happy each time you include that clip!
Ah, that inventory...I have been decluttering four generations of stuff from our family home for the last two years. It is overwhelming at times but I am beginning to see the difference. Seeing how things have built up over 70 + years of 'it might be useful' makes it VERY easy not to bring unwanted things home!
I have a rocking chair in my kitchen. It encourages conversation while I'm cooking/ cleaning. After school conversation is now into the second generation. Those bags that come in are immediately hooked on the chair back . If you decant some of your groceries as I do, I breakdownthose boxes and return them into the bag and kids take it out for recycle. It's like opening the mail above the waste basket. Occasionally I buy a $.99 bag with a theme. Ex. Fall decor goes into the Harvest bag and I hang in over a hanger and put in the front closet. If decor is too much for bag it's time to donate. Christmas is the only exception. All other bags are my donate bags.
I used to love Thrift store shopping! It was my jam when I had free time! Now after watching you and taking your course I really don't go much. I will walk out with only a couple items and sometimes nothing at all! I'll be honest it is a bit disappointing, but I like the feeling of a tidy, clean home more.
Dawn has ruined shopping for me too! 😆
Me, too! BUT it’s a good thing!
My perspective is it’s all about “the hunt”. I have a list of things I’m specifically looking for at thrift stores and I enjoy the search even when I’m not successful. When I do find something I’ve been searching for it makes it all so worth it!
I can relate to walking out of a thrift store, Antique store or Estate Sale without finding a "treasure". But, I/we get over it.
I’ve been a huge fan from the beginning. Thank you for being such an inspiration in achieving calm in our homes. You exude such positivity and happiness in your videos! So uplifting. 👍🤗❤️
The cornbread casserole made with the Jiffy mix and creamed corn is really good, and if you don't like it as a casserole you can just cook it longer and it's more cornbread-like. And it's a very easy recipe.
I recently acquired a item for my birthday which i absolutely have no room for and didn't really need even though it was beautiful. It sat out a for a few weeks and every time I saw it I felt divided between not wanting to keep it but wanting to honor my friend.
So what I did was take it and some other nice items I was decluttering and I took the items to work and the group of ladies were just crazy about the items and the items all went home with people who really loved them and it made me feel really good about my decision
I knew there was a reason that I waited to watch this. Several years ago I purchased a Circa, disc-bound notebook system that I wanted to love. I tried to use it and just kept feeling it was more complicated than useful for me. Today, I was looking to see how other people use their systems to find a way to make this work for me. Then I saw your video on listening to your stuff and this one that I had missed. I now know, the system components just need to go. Every time I even think about them I feel like I failed. I didn't. It's just not for me. Out it goes to bless someone else. Thank you, Dawn!!
Trust me, Dawn, you definitely want to make the creamed corn recipe! It is super duper easy and it is DEEEE-licious! It is a mainstay for every holiday event that we have. The first thing out of everyone's mouth when they come through the door at Christmas is, "Did you make the corn casserole?" Place a stick of butter in a casserole dish in a 350 degree oven to melt. Mix together the creamed corn, a can of Niblets corn (or if other corn, just drain the juice), the cornbread mix, 8 oz. of sour cream, and 1 cup shredded cheese (we love colby jack). Pour mixture into casserole dish and stir briefly with butter. Bake for 35 to 45 minutes until golden brown but not dry. :0)
I don't know if it was you or someone else that said "after a gift is given do with it what you will." So accept and donate or regift just be careful and give to someone new.
Being human, just a great reminder that we need grace given to others and ourselves. You always make my heart happy when you upload a new video. Your channel, You, Dawn, helped me to realize that stuff shouldn't be the most important thing in your home. (Family is.) I have been on this journey about 8 months. Thanks for always steering the ship in the right direction. (Just in case video is my favorite.)
I love your videos! I have recently started decluttering my home. While on a once in a lifetime trip to Scotland last month my friend I was traveling with kept trying to get me to buy things. I told her I was trying to declutter and didn't want to bring more stuff in. I ended up buying a few things that I would actually use so it didn't feel like clutter. I still have a long way to go, but I will get there. Thank you for your inspiration and encouragement!
I had just started watching your videos & was just beginning to declutter my new-to-me old house (with only 2 small closets), and then Christmas came. My family doesn't normally give large gifts, so I thought everything would be fine. I got a cast iron skillet, a speed blender with 2 bowls (!), a regifted old TV...and I think my mom gave me a pile of linens from her stash. Plus the shipping and gift boxes. I felt like I was drowning, and I am STILL managing all the extra stuff. It's definitely a process, and I'm so grateful to have all of your videos!
Oh yes. THANK YOU for the paper clutter tough love lesson! You have to work the system for it to work! It was such a lightbulb moment for me. Because I was in that spiral of, why am I overwhelmed with paper ALL THE TIME, why won't my systems work, why is this so overwhelming, etc etc etc. After a really chaotic spring, I'm starting to build a new set of routines for my self and house-care. THANK YOU!
Thanks for sharing the story about the dishcloth. I think it is the best way to do it too. Good reminder. :) Thanks for what you share!
I am always taking some time to go through something and get rid of things. Our son recently went to college and we only have our teenage daughter living at home full time so I took this as the motivation to start seriously decluttering. I have a kitchen quarantine box and have already made one trip to the thrift store. It’s amazing how much clutter is in my home that’s been hidden/out of sight and it feels so good to get things out!
my HUGE weakness - - reusable bags!! or honestly containers of any kind. I just KNOW I will have a perfect use for it ONE DAY! ugh... hahahaha.... Right now I'm ok having downsized my addition to ONE bag of bags. (my husband thinks I'm a looney bin for having it). The rest of me is a happy minimalist, and I LOVE not having tons of inventory to weigh me down. Thanks for all your great tips. I can never get through one of your videos without pausing, and checking for clutter somewhere. Its a good thing. 😊
So many great nuggets in this video! Definitely agree with "no miracle products" and "the magic is in the motion, not the potion". I am decreasing the frequency of my thrift store trips and letting my kids pick their clothes more as well. Always excited to watch your videos!!
I love those Walmart small gift bags! I throw out all the samples but use the bag for snack carrying for my toddler.
You can also use creamed corn in corn or clam chowder. Adds a little more creaminess, thickness to the soup.
The only thing I regret decluttering was a bench scraper I received as part of a gift basket years ago. I didn’t realize how handy and versatile they were. (I never had used it/assumed I never would until I accidentally came upon a TH-cam video on the many ways to use them.) Now I always look up how to videos before I assume and I also research alternative uses for items just in case they’d be handy or useful in ways I’m not aware of.
Good advice on always accepting gifts! And thanks for the encouragement to keep decluttering for the purpose of having a calm and relaxing home life. And also, great hair today 💕
You said in another video that we should be prepared for commitment requests by having ready some tactful phrases to refuse or defer. Well, forewarned is forearmed; and this relates to 'Clutter Creep' as well.
In the example of being surprised by a request of commitment from someone, we often are tripped up by 'impulse moments', like you being handed a samples bag at Walmart. Wisdom says to turn it down, but impulse kicks in and you bring it home.
So, how to combat this? Two strategies:
1. Identify the environments/events that set you up for impulse to win over wisdom.
-Thrift shops, flea markets, yard sales, home shopping channels, window shopping, Big Deal cyclic sales (Black Friday, Prime Day, etc) are FOMO-driven (Fear Of Missing Out) and can raise your susceptibility to impulse acquisition.
-Sporting events, lengthy/expensive trips, weddings, births, engagement, children's accomplishments/milestones, etc induce a desire to preserve the moment through mementos, souvenirs, photos, clothing, pressed flowers, ticket stubs, programs, children's artwork, baby clothes and the like.
Being prepared for the natural tendency to get swept up will allow a more critical assessment of items you might rethink about hauling home and storing.
2. Identify the characteristics of categories of things you naturally tend to 'collect'.
-What do the things you find difficult to resist or part with have in common? Is it a texture, smell, utility, size, intricacy, material, self-image, or familiarity? Does it evoke an aspiration, a loss, a memory? What exactly does it invoke in you? If you can break that down, you will have better control over it; you take it from reflex to choice.
-Are you prone to 'completing collections'? Is it satisfying, compulsive, or obsessive to expand or complete a collection? It can be dish sets, comic book runs, Shakespeare's works, the 1963 complete set of baseball cards, or anything with a finite inventory. It can also be a quality, like interesting sets of salt & pepper shakers, folk art, windchimes, etc. If you can assess what drives that urge to collect, you can begin to edit what you acquire. If you can move past the satisfaction of owning to the practicalities of storage and display, you can move from having the biggest hidden collection to having a professional-quality display collection, which is a definite upgrade.
In both of these cases, it helps to think about your vulnerabilities and begin to harden those vulnerabilities by combating 'What If-?' with 'What if I don't-?'. By introducing the awareness of where your vulnerabilities lie and that in the face of these specific situations you can imagine saying 'no', your reflexes include 'no' as an option. It's psychological reprogramming.
Just some thoughts...
I love what you said about time and peace of mind beginning important commodities not to be wasted. This so true and something I’ve recently started to value, thanks to you Dawn!☀️