“We’re in debt but send our son to private school"

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 21 พ.ย. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 327

  • @ramitsethi
    @ramitsethi  24 วันที่ผ่านมา +28

    00:00 Download the Conscious Spending Plan so you can use your money GUILT-FREE: iwt.com/csp-youtube
    Please remember: These are real people who had the courage to come on my podcast and ask for help. Would you be willing to come on this podcast and share every detail of your financial life? Feel free to leave comments based on what you think, but remember that we are here to help in a supportive way, not to demean and criticize.

    • @NotKid142
      @NotKid142 23 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      I have seen all combination of ppl on your show. Never saw Indian family. You should interview an Indian family if possible.

  • @blurrydog1
    @blurrydog1 23 วันที่ผ่านมา +174

    Breath of fresh air to see a couple that actually seems to like each other 😂

  • @jacocharo
    @jacocharo 22 วันที่ผ่านมา +60

    Dare I say he found the exemplar couple? This is the best episode of the pod so far because they were willing to do the work in the episode. It was awesome to see.😊

  • @sidehustlevikki1066
    @sidehustlevikki1066 23 วันที่ผ่านมา +186

    This may be my favorite couple to date. They worked very well together and were the true definition of a team. No one person sat back as the other party took on the vast majority of the responsibility which we tend to see with so many couples on this podcast do. You can tell that they really value and care for each other and both parties were willing to be open to suggestion that are for the better good of the family rather than what is good for them individually. I also love how in their follow up they told us actions they have already taken rather than continue to talk about what they plan to do. You can tell they truly valued Ramiths time and advise. I wish them the best

    • @nicole.outside
      @nicole.outside 22 วันที่ผ่านมา +5

      Their relationship was so loving and healthy! It was refreshing to see a couple who made me feel that real change is in their future.

    • @helenakloosterman5069
      @helenakloosterman5069 22 วันที่ผ่านมา

      L

    • @londongrl4559
      @londongrl4559 20 วันที่ผ่านมา

      came to say the same thing!

    • @davidcampos5558
      @davidcampos5558 20 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Agreed!

    • @azizurrahman1091
      @azizurrahman1091 14 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Yes I agree this episode was really eye opening without all the drama lol

  • @lauriechan2966
    @lauriechan2966 23 วันที่ผ่านมา +50

    I'm LITERALLY in tears, over hearing her story of her mother helping her decide whether to file for bankruptcy or clean up her mess. I LOVEDDDD hearing how she built her character that way. Mom made me SO happy. Too bad she isn't still alive. She truly sounds like a remarkable woman...

  • @jenniferrobinson9325
    @jenniferrobinson9325 23 วันที่ผ่านมา +118

    Cool to see someone who actually knows how to apologize

    • @ThankGodImHannah
      @ThankGodImHannah 21 วันที่ผ่านมา +8

      Agreed. They took feedback from each other and Ramit really well. No egos, just meeting each other with kindness and a listening ear.

  • @pauchopkins12
    @pauchopkins12 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +302

    Great episode - I just want to convey to the couple that there’s nothing wrong with state schools. Being successful is more about WHAT you study and not WHERE you study. Their son will be fortunate to have any school paid for so they shouldn’t put more pressure on themselves

    • @SixthSenseSynesthete
      @SixthSenseSynesthete 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +53

      Agreed! I have a coworker who went to private high school and private college. I went to public high school and a state college. We both ended up in the exact same job, except I paid significantly less to get there.

    • @jasminekaye900
      @jasminekaye900 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +44

      But it seemed that their primary concern was safety, not quality of education. Current stats do show that private schools are safer than public.

    • @firefalcoln
      @firefalcoln 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +19

      I generally agree. But I also think that the location where one lives can have a big impact on the quality of the public schools. Ironically the public schools are typically at least decent in areas with a lot of people who could afford to send their kids to private schools instead. It’s often in poor areas where the public schools are terrible. And unfortunately for a lot of those kids, they don’t have parents who could afford to send them to a better school, or often even move somewhere with better public schools.

    • @CAGChannel1
      @CAGChannel1 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +12

      @@jasminekaye900We all have our past shape our views on safety for our kids. When she said sleep away camp, I was like- nope, nope, nope for safety. It’s an interesting psychology of “ safety.”

    • @claudiapastorahdez6177
      @claudiapastorahdez6177 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

      I fully agree. I guess I am not rich and have absolutely no idea how those fancy schools work but I do have a few partners at a firm I used to work at that pull their kids out of the fancy Miami private schools and got them into Charters or Magnet schools and they are doing much better.

  • @MarieArter
    @MarieArter 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +170

    I thoroughly enjoyed this episode. The couple is committed to each other and I think their future is bright.

    • @DianeRuth
      @DianeRuth 23 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Yes, they completely supported each other and wanted to support each other and the process. A lot of episodes there's one person who doesn't want to change or listen. Even though she wasn't comfortable with it Alexis knew the process was important and also knew how much it mattered for their relationship. IWT couple goals.

  • @paerage
    @paerage 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +101

    Man the conversation around school safety really got to me. I’m also a parent of school age kids and our family went through a series of traumatic gun incidents when my kid was 5. I absolutely understand the desire to spend whatever you can to have your child go to a school that is safe and supportive. Also as queer parents we need to be additionally vigilant about our kids’ school and social environments.

    • @lauriechan2966
      @lauriechan2966 23 วันที่ผ่านมา +6

      I was thinking the EXACT same thing.
      As queer parents, standard school might not be befitting. Unfortunately, we live in a very narrow minded society that doesn't typically openly accept the LGBTQ community. It's imperative to protect your children, until people can figure out how to be inclusive towards EVERYONE.

    • @sarelloo
      @sarelloo 23 วันที่ผ่านมา +10

      I normally poopoo families that come on here and are in dire financial straights because they refuse to send their kids to public school. This was the one explanation I understood. She went through trauma and made a decision to cope. No amount of reasoning is going to make them feel comfortable with the alternative to the decision they made.
      GRANTED, there's thousands of people out there who have experienced similar traumas and aren't in the position to send their kid to private school to cope.

  • @nomaam5891
    @nomaam5891 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +61

    This was a great episode! I could feel the love and respect Alexis and Olivia have for one another. I have faith they have the potential to really turn their finances around for the better. I wish them the best!

  • @mbens9995
    @mbens9995 23 วันที่ผ่านมา +44

    Hi Ramit! Can we please get an update on past couples?!? I’d love to see what happened following your discussions with them!! I have a feeling there are some fun success stories out there!

    • @CaptPicard81
      @CaptPicard81 23 วันที่ผ่านมา +4

      That’s what was so good about the Netflix show, loved the update segments

  • @ashleydunford4010
    @ashleydunford4010 23 วันที่ผ่านมา +22

    Great episode. Olivia's mother sounds like a true angel. I loved how gently she taught about character.

  • @m3932213
    @m3932213 23 วันที่ผ่านมา +27

    They mentioned getting takeout for convenience. She works at Costco!!!! She can easily pick up items that are great for a quick meal at home! Salad kits, wraps, rotisserie chicken, etc. Just by having those staples at home saves us a lot of takeout meals.

  • @VBoo459
    @VBoo459 22 วันที่ผ่านมา +14

    I'm gushing over this couple. Despite little issues, they clearly show affection, consideration and warmth to one another. They are truly building for their future and hearing about Olivia's multi-generational home plan makes my heart bloom, I'm so sad her mother passed too soon. I plan to also buy a house so my mother can live with us too. My favourite episode by far!

  • @FIREownyourtime
    @FIREownyourtime 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +87

    Pay off CC, pay off vehicles next, axe house renovation, reduce vacation, cut subscriptions, cut random stuff. So many ways to cut. They can easily put aside $2-4k. Cut $400 from the kid's activities and put that into 529.

    • @jochenkraus7016
      @jochenkraus7016 22 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      I'd say reduce renovations to things that are broken.or annoying,.e.g. difficult to clean sliding doors of the shower.

  • @amypruss8391
    @amypruss8391 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +160

    If you reduce activities, you also reduce stress.

    • @IAmebAdger
      @IAmebAdger 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +15

      Yes, seriously, less activities, more relax time to read a good book or watch a good show or explore some cooking skills or paint/craft something!

    • @runemagged21
      @runemagged21 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +17

      Yesss. When I look back on childhood, especially pre-teen years, I miss all the time and space I had in my nights and weekends and school breaks to just be a kid and be with my family. No schedule, no to and from, no packing up and out. Just to "be" as my mom would say lol. The activities came later on, in high school, when I naturally became more keen on a social life.

    • @robh1961
      @robh1961 23 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      ⁠@@runemagged21Agreed. What is with this obsession that millennial parents have with making their kids do so many damn activities all through out the year? I remember softball during the summer and soccer in the fall, but that was it. The rest of time up until middle school was spent just simply hanging out with family and friends. These people have this obsession with doing all of these damn activities and sports. I hate to break it to you, but your kid is not going to be a professional athlete in 4 different sports. You can calm down with pressuring them to do all of that bullshit. Focus on one sport if you please, but people need to stop this nonsense. All they’re doing is raising neurotic little balls of chaos that will need medication and therapy when they get older.

    • @runemagged21
      @runemagged21 8 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      @@robh1961 You def racheted up my comment quite a bit (a la Ramit haha) but yes, the anxious youth of modern times is a general concern of mine as well. Or else, a complete apathy in all things since there was only ever extrinsic pressure to perform and no innate self-driven desire. You can never know if our kid is already scheduled to oblivion.
      I do believe there are the kids who want to do all the things all the time (and may be more exposed to that lifestyle these days), but even so, there is a lesson of moderation in managing with only the essentials/priorities. Life is long, they can always pick up a new hobby later in life.

  • @lauriechan2966
    @lauriechan2966 23 วันที่ผ่านมา +19

    This couple is A.D.O.R.A.B.L.E.
    I wish my interactions were as loving as they genuinely are towards each other.
    They should be proud of what they've built, and the example they're setting for us all in the scope of relationships.

  • @22bouha
    @22bouha 23 วันที่ผ่านมา +20

    I love this couple! Is anyone not going to mention how Ramit’s subscribers is at 709K! I’m here for 750K and more. Keep this going Ramit. I hope you’ve a teen version one day for us with young kids. For now, I teach your CSP to my kiddos with their money at a high level of course. Thanks for all you do. You’re helping a lot of us.

  • @HyperFocusedNinja
    @HyperFocusedNinja 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +144

    Not too sure about the side video pan, it's nice to do that when you turn to the audience and address for some specific point to highlight something. Looks a bit jumpy when you keep talking forward and you get shown from the side and then from the front again

    • @nikkibadzik3948
      @nikkibadzik3948 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +12

      I completely agree with this.

    • @dreamingincolour0
      @dreamingincolour0 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +14

      Yes, not a fan

    • @dan_delaney
      @dan_delaney 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +11

      Came here to say this. I love the show, but the transitions were really jarring.

    • @aangitano
      @aangitano 24 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Agreed. The scene transitions Don’t really match up with the content being delivered

    • @mintfox1275
      @mintfox1275 23 วันที่ผ่านมา +11

      I agree with this, I also don’t like the dark blue walls in the background now. I liked the warmer office colors.

  • @CyrinaSwanston
    @CyrinaSwanston 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +33

    I loved this episode so much! I feel like because they were both committed to each other and being on the same page, I was able to focus more on how Ramit was helping them solve their money issues, rather than worrying about one partner's treatment of the other. I felt like I actually related to this couple, and was able to hear his advice from a more objective place, rather than through the lens of whatever struggle or dysfunction might have been in the relationship. It also helped that they were so self aware, and really understood the issues they had. Great episode!!!

    • @mo1482
      @mo1482 23 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      Agreed!!

    • @amanda.c.ice.
      @amanda.c.ice. 22 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      So well said!

  • @charmin78
    @charmin78 21 วันที่ผ่านมา +9

    My “do nothing” weekend day is called my “hushed day”. No schedule, no “to do” list, no driving. Nothing. My body and mind need time to settle down.

  • @WillowandThatch
    @WillowandThatch 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +105

    Jumping in while I’m watching to say the side angle views of Ramit talking to the camera are weird, unnecessary, and distracting. Straight on works for you! Now, back to our regular programming…

    • @jenniferjasiczek
      @jenniferjasiczek 23 วันที่ผ่านมา +4

      Bhahaha. Agree. Nice try Ramit, but we like ya forward facing.

    • @Capycorg
      @Capycorg 23 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      Agree!

    • @veronicagarcia5278
      @veronicagarcia5278 23 วันที่ผ่านมา +9

      It's like the definition of fixing what isn't broken.

    • @stop08it
      @stop08it 23 วันที่ผ่านมา +4

      It’s just so random I’m like wat…

    • @evatheDIVA8
      @evatheDIVA8 22 วันที่ผ่านมา +6

      You should make your own show and decide camera angles!

  • @stephaniemarquez988
    @stephaniemarquez988 23 วันที่ผ่านมา +15

    “Money was always needed from me.” I felt this in my core.

  • @elize2952
    @elize2952 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +47

    This was a lovely episode and a lovely couple. I wish them the best

  • @charmin78
    @charmin78 21 วันที่ผ่านมา +9

    Takeaway: Over-spenders want to solve the problem by working MORE to make more money. It will not solve the problem. You have to control the spending.

  • @amigobuddy2009
    @amigobuddy2009 19 วันที่ผ่านมา +6

    The foot pic segment was hilarious

  • @klt9874
    @klt9874 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +20

    They hit it on the mark with sending kids to private school and grappling with the monetary expectations. What my husband and I found was that public schools were great. We did not make decisions to go private until high school for our kids and we could afford it. We found that our kids had a good grounding on who they were and the impact of some of the peer expectations of a private school did not impact them that much.

  • @dingding6066
    @dingding6066 20 วันที่ผ่านมา +6

    As a fellow costco employee in similar situation, when she said I was at my job for 26 yrs. I immediately thought of Costco.

    • @Trix897
      @Trix897 17 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      My niece works for Costco in their corporate office in Issaquah, WA. She is so happy there, and I hope that this is a place where she can be for the rest of her career.

  • @Capycorg
    @Capycorg 23 วันที่ผ่านมา +9

    Love these two! Ramit's coaching was so kind and logical. They really responded well and i hope theyll keep it up ip!

  • @CaptPicard81
    @CaptPicard81 23 วันที่ผ่านมา +7

    I attended a fancy private school where I was pretty low on the financial totem pole as well, it was eye opening and honestly I very much appreciate the experience. I think more than anything it removed the mystique around wealthy people completely and really solidified the fact that they are just normal flawed humans.

  • @Beginnerreadsthebible
    @Beginnerreadsthebible 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +18

    What a beautiful, respectful, loving marriage on display ❤

  • @vgmijpn8ball
    @vgmijpn8ball 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +13

    Thanks for another great episode! They are definitely one of the top couples willing to make changes. What a bombshell about Alexis's time on jury duty, I can't imagine that experience. If it was me, I'd move kid's activities and private school to guilt free spending, then slash everything else in there to get it under 30 pct.
    Also, they should factor in Alexis free Costco membership for life, free $100 a year wohoo!

  • @Romane-658-c2l
    @Romane-658-c2l 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +29

    I saw the initial CSP and thought I would skip this episode, but this was a great episode. In terms of money for couples, this was how psychology lack of communication affects your spending and can drive you to poverty even if you have money.

  • @shananigans0117
    @shananigans0117 22 วันที่ผ่านมา +5

    What a great couple! Their son is really lucky to have them as parents, wishing them the best. Love Ramit’s attitude that they’ve made mistakes but can improve- so much more calm and positive than so many of these financial gurus.

  • @Kk-sm6rf
    @Kk-sm6rf 5 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    Why am I crying?! Great couple. I love your dynamics.

  • @susannotaro9842
    @susannotaro9842 21 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    Ramit did a great job coaching this couple. I think their core financial scenario is far more common than people admit, so everyone can learn from this episode.

  • @lysec9672
    @lysec9672 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +37

    Luck is not a financial strategy!

    • @saeedhossain6099
      @saeedhossain6099 23 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      agreed, most "financially successful" people conflate luck with competence - people love to talk about their gains like they're market gurus. spending discipline, on the other hand is 95% behavior and 5% luck

  • @HoustonTom
    @HoustonTom 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +57

    They weren’t saving any because mom was going to leave them $1m. But as soon as the inheritance came in, they started spending it down. I assume to pay for the private school. That’s their call but they need to have open eyes that the private school has and will continue to harm their financial future and other plans.

    • @saeedhossain6099
      @saeedhossain6099 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +6

      the production team needs to add a timeline, it contextualizes the behaviour, and would highlight where the relationship breakdowns were and where they will come up again. it's going to assign too much responsibility onto the weakest link.

    • @MarieArter
      @MarieArter 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

      Inherited IRA’s have required annual withdraws but the money could be invested elsewhere instead of spent.

    • @ILovePlants33
      @ILovePlants33 23 วันที่ผ่านมา +5

      It blows my mind they weren't saving because they were counting on inheritance. What if mom needed a nursing home/ had a long illness? That money would be fine in an instant.

    • @kietdaoakaicy
      @kietdaoakaicy 21 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      the line that I noticed, the school is their dream school to send the kid to. Their dream school not the kid's dream school

  • @soll86
    @soll86 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +15

    I've been binge watching all these episodes from your channel.. I was a person that had a very great income and had a huge spending habit. For the last 1 years I've been making huge changes. I've saved a ton of money, have sufficient money for emergency, paid a huge amount of things.. I've been still enjoying life, I've not changed into being a Grinch.. It's crazy to step back and understand what amount of money you get and what you spend it on.. Like said on these videos: Take a look from above on your spending

    • @rebeltheharem7028
      @rebeltheharem7028 23 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Yeah, people who are always living paycheck to paycheck don't really know where their money is going. And the best thing to do is to completely track their expenses and income, and it will generally change their frame of reference. After that, its just a matter of changing your mindset from "I need this" to "Do I really need this?".
      Good job on realizing it now, instead of later. As they always say, "the best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago, the 2nd best time is now."

  • @ntimn8r
    @ntimn8r 21 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

    The Scenario options were neat to see. I liked that.

  • @Alexr044
    @Alexr044 23 วันที่ผ่านมา +9

    I loved the asides on this one ❤ you’ve mentioned stories before and how they drive our lives, but when you stopped to recognize that the avoided partner had just talked about money and to pause, to recognize those moments. I think I can see now how to challenge some of my own stories. Thank you Ramit!!

  • @aaronpoweruser
    @aaronpoweruser 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +17

    This is a wild one, solid advice but it only works due to them being incredibly lucky not due to conscious spending so essentially is unrepeatable.

  • @oknight30
    @oknight30 23 วันที่ผ่านมา +8

    Great episode! I was dying at the foot pic tangent 😂😂😂

  • @miosoderberg6602
    @miosoderberg6602 23 วันที่ผ่านมา +5

    I like your philosophy about extravagantly spending money on what brings you the most joy and cutting down mercilessly on what doesn't bring you as much joy. It's kind of like "If you want to fly, give up everything that weighs you down" -Buda
    I live by this quote, maybe consider sharing it in your videos.

  • @budgetsdreams
    @budgetsdreams 23 วันที่ผ่านมา +8

    I love the togetherness of this couple 💛

  • @melogranohifi
    @melogranohifi 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +26

    The secret is Costco stock, isn’t it?

  • @amanda.c.ice.
    @amanda.c.ice. 22 วันที่ผ่านมา +4

    Loved this couple! Their love for each other shone through and I can tell they actually want to take the necessary steps in order to meet their retirement goals.

  • @NewGuy2024
    @NewGuy2024 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +32

    Wife and I make a pretty high income. Though we live such a simple life, our expenses are extremely low since being debt free. We probably only spend 25% of our gross income. Now that both kids are in college, their 529 college fund supports them financially 9 months out of each year, so our expenses are even lower now as empty nesters.
    I am just amazed on what most Americans spend their hard earned money on for things they THINK they need, then complain about have no money left and inflation.

    • @rebeltheharem7028
      @rebeltheharem7028 23 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      It's always this. Most Americans over spend and do not live below their means. This might seem like a bad thing, but its actually a good thing for people who do save, because our ROI on investments go up when spending goes up.
      If Americans did not become so consumerist in such recent years, even to the point of trillion dollar credit card debt, the stock market would not be as high as it is now.
      If people really did live "at their means" then the stock market returns would probably be much less as revenues would also be less.

    • @AmbiguousAbsolute
      @AmbiguousAbsolute 23 วันที่ผ่านมา +6

      You started your sentence with "Wife and I make a pretty high income" and then try to speak for "most Americans", who certainly don't make a pretty high income. In fact, the medium household is like ~$67k. And then you brag about being well off enough to fund a college fund and live off of 25% of your income, only to finish with complaining about how others complain about not having money and inflation. News flash, either you're a narcist that believes the world revolves around you or you're completely out of touch with the everyday American. But either way, you're entitled and should be more compassionate and sympathetic with your average, fellow countryman.

  • @anakarinapaulin5872
    @anakarinapaulin5872 23 วันที่ผ่านมา +6

    What a nice episode to watch and enjoy! They love each other so much that the conversation was so respectful and kind that I was happy for the relationship that they have.

  • @azizurrahman1091
    @azizurrahman1091 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    The decisions we make today….so powerful! 😮

  • @dkayok
    @dkayok 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +17

    Bit of a disconnect between Olivia wanting to give their son that security blanket of having everything like she had and the fact that she ran up $30000 in debt early in life. They don't want their son to be in debt yet may be recreating the circumstances that mean he does not learn about money management. Also, not always a great idea to be the poorer kid in a rich school. Save that tuition money to help with going to a great college later on.

  • @michellegreen1072
    @michellegreen1072 23 วันที่ผ่านมา +8

    Thanks for putting the ad frames back on. 😂😂😂😂 (So I can skip faster)

  • @StrongopinionsRus
    @StrongopinionsRus 23 วันที่ผ่านมา +4

    I know a lot of people are annoyed by these high net worth couples, some think they’re not relatable, but it’s still interesting to see how people with a lot of money can still overspend. Just because someone earns a lot doesn’t mean they’re set for life.

  • @evanwrenn402
    @evanwrenn402 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +24

    Why do you have $120,000 in savings and credit card debt. Use savings to pay off the card…every single month.

    • @ILovePlants33
      @ILovePlants33 23 วันที่ผ่านมา +5

      And the fact that at the update they still hadn't paid off all the cards. Whyyyyyy

  • @aartid2
    @aartid2 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +35

    "Can you imagine asking someone, 'what are you doing today' & they respond 'Just enjoying life' is so foreign." It is indeed foreign - a European concept. The Dutch have a concept - 'Niksen' which means doing nothing.

    • @Alex-jl5om
      @Alex-jl5om 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +7

      So do we lol we say we’re chilling

    • @kemi1486
      @kemi1486 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +10

      I live in the USA and respond with “as little as possible” lol and people are so confused. When they say, what do you do for work? I say “I
      work on my health” 😂 and they’re still confused. I don’t want to talk about what’s happening at any jobs.

  • @KayRay1966
    @KayRay1966 23 วันที่ผ่านมา +13

    "Giving your son everything" is not the best for him. You think you are giving him a good life by smoothing every obstacle for him (financial or otherwise) but you are robbing him of the chance to develop strength and resilience. Give him love and your time, extravagantly. But think about the wisdom of buying him the best of everything.

  • @PS-bh3zp
    @PS-bh3zp 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +23

    There were gains on the inheritance as well, the “luck” is even greater than the estimate

  • @thewriteplaceforme6874
    @thewriteplaceforme6874 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +7

    Loved this episode! Maybe because I'm in the same age range and asking myself the same questions.
    The discussion about luck and chaos resonated too. You can be a little chaotic if you're lucky. Just imagine what life would be like if you're lucky and calm and spending money mindfully.
    I wish them the very best for future sucess!

    • @HerAeolianHarp
      @HerAeolianHarp 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      I liked them, too. I felt their mutual support and hope they can talk more regularly about money. I am exactly their age but with far less money and with one of our two kids in private school on steep financial aid. Now we suddenly for health reasons have to shift to one income. In California. Ouch. We were already frugal and organized, and we have 1.3 in investments, a 460k mortgage to pay, and a net worth of 2M, but our fixed costs are way too high. I am really glad to see GENX represented. TBH, a lot of us have it tough, what with aging parents and kids headed for college. I love these videos, Ramit. It helps to see the money and life lessons. My sister loved seeing you live in San Francisco a few years ago. I loved your first book: so savvy and peppered with some wicked humor. Good luck with new book.

  • @Logical_magic19
    @Logical_magic19 2 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Just starting the episode and am struck by how nice this couple is to each other.

  • @jesselee3391
    @jesselee3391 23 วันที่ผ่านมา +8

    On the whole Public vs Private school debate, my decision landed on moving to a good area with relatively good public schools. My understanding from research is that the benefit of private schools is mixed. It is true that children in private schools will often do better, but that does not necessarily mean they are doing better because they are in private schools. In said research, they "control" for socioeconomic background. In other words, kids who come from privileged backgrounds will tend to do better, and it so happens they tend to go to private schools (and there is nothing wrong with that, of course). When my child is older I might consider tutoring in a targeted way to supplement his schooling, which can be helpful to learning in a cost effective manner.

  • @kelly4618
    @kelly4618 20 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

    Omg Costco retirement account for the win! ❤

  • @nuprophett
    @nuprophett 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +44

    Love Ramit, but of all the channels I follow this one most makes me question why I even pay for TH-cam premium to get rid of ads? I hate these damn embedded ads. Just some honest feedback. Still love your content, and know you got to make your bag. It’s just a bit frustrating because I pay to get rid of these and it feels like content creators just keep sneaking them in.

    • @soll86
      @soll86 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +7

      I've seen this on a lot of TH-cam channels.. They're doing it to cover expenses and get money with the belief that the majority of users have a free TH-cam account or use addblockers (that is apparently true) .. I'm waiting for a TH-cam process to have these skipped for premium also.. until then I just jump like crazy over these ads

    • @HoustonTom
      @HoustonTom 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      Agree. They’re getting paid for views by premium subscribers and free account ad views. Of course my problem is with TH-cam for allowing it.

    • @kathryn_alife
      @kathryn_alife 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      Pretty much all TH-camrs do it. The ads TH-cam automatically includes don’t pay that well. The sponsorship/ad reads they do is where they make the real money.
      Fortunately when you pay for premium you can skip through them using your settings.

    • @nuprophett
      @nuprophett 24 วันที่ผ่านมา

      @@kathryn_alife how do you skip through them using settings if you pay for premium? I have checked my settings and don’t see an option for skipping these embedded, sponsored ads. If there is a system in place to address this under a premium subscription, then i will gladly go turn it on and stop complaining. 🙏

    • @thunderjolt69
      @thunderjolt69 24 วันที่ผ่านมา

      If on PC, get sponsor block and if on mobile, use revanced which comes with sponsor block.

  • @vallarieb8676
    @vallarieb8676 19 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    I'm going through this exactly.....I need to listen to this entire episode bc it is breaking up my marriage ...

  • @unikornkontroller
    @unikornkontroller 22 วันที่ผ่านมา +4

    They're sending him to an expensive private school but then expect him to figure out how to pay for college? Cart before the horse.

  • @mirabai305
    @mirabai305 22 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    This was a great episode. These two would definitely benefit from adding the YNAB app for managing their money.

  • @ramonajames610
    @ramonajames610 23 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    Best couple to date! They truly respect one another and strive to communicate and overcome their issues. I believe they will achieve their goals.

  • @annawchin
    @annawchin 23 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    I relate so deeply to how Olivia described her behavior with money and credit cards. I find myself in the same pattern over and over again, and trying to be a lot more intentional about money and where it goes.

  • @excitedaboutlearning1639
    @excitedaboutlearning1639 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +28

    There's a mistake in the CSP at 45:27. It says annual gross & annual net, but the figures are actually monthly figures. I know the text can't be changed anymore for this video, but it may still be possible to do so for the next one. So, it's worth checking that future CSPs say monthly rather than annual when needed.

    • @mranonymity4
      @mranonymity4 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +14

      Great point. Also, the investment question Ramit raises at the beginning of the video is because the CSP is not designed to show pretax investing. That section is an after tax number and imho a flaw in the template design.
      Most Americans invest for retirement via pretax contribution (traditional 401k, HSA, etc.) but there is no line item on the CSP for this. If you put pretax into the investment section it screws up your whole % because it's calculated using the take home pay number.

    • @pam1830
      @pam1830 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      @@mranonymity4 Yes, I have Ramit's CSP and added a line item for pre-tax contributions.
      The CSP also does not take into consideration pensions (which can be calculated to reflect current valuations).
      Having a gross and net annual line would be great for folks.
      Not hard to change in excel/numbers/etc.

    • @rossmarymarquez4700
      @rossmarymarquez4700 24 วันที่ผ่านมา

      @@mranonymity4a cell can be added between the gross income and take home pay to reflect the amount of money put into investment as part of 401K. I believe you want to say most people working and living in the US. You don’t have to be « american » to work in the US and contribute a retirement account.

    • @mranonymity4
      @mranonymity4 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

      @@pam1830 great point on pensions too, I'm not trying to nitpick or be pedantic about the CSP which is a nice free tool. Agree that these changes are easy to do in excel. It's even easier to read and yet half the guests haven't read Ramit's book. To steal a Ramit maxim- pretax investing is a $30,000 question item. Not including it feels a bit sloppy, even acknowledging that the CSP is supposed to be a quick financial picture rather than detailed budget.

  • @PumbaTimonovna
    @PumbaTimonovna 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +12

    Wow, such a loving family.

  • @AaronTheImposter
    @AaronTheImposter 19 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

    Genuinely levels above Caleb Hammer's audits. His rude/sex joke shtick is getting stale. This is the type of help he should be providing his guests

    • @13ikea
      @13ikea 17 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      CH has a different type of demographic and experience in finances. I don’t think it’s fair to compare the 2 platforms

  • @tomaszp2027
    @tomaszp2027 22 วันที่ผ่านมา +4

    Once more you can see the problem of not including the gross income investments (and employers match) in the CSP.
    This needs to be counted as it is disposable income.

    • @RealMuperSan
      @RealMuperSan 14 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Yea, it’s in the ether!

  • @russoae
    @russoae 17 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    Perhaps a way to make saying no easier is to move their son's private school into guilt free spending. Showing they are choosing this for their son and not choosing other things.

  • @SDCPA
    @SDCPA 23 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    Great couple, great episode. Providing the 4 options really helped cut through the 'chaos' and gave a simplified path forward. Your rich life includes retiring earlier and sending your son to private school? You can do it if you cut costs now (and you can choose where to cut). Powerful analysis.

  • @mwise9435
    @mwise9435 23 วันที่ผ่านมา +19

    One of the things that has been increasingly driving me nuts over the past 5 or 6 couples is Ramit mis-stating relevant facts, maybe it's just in intros or asides to us the viewers, sometimes its in the course of conversation (which I understand may be related to editing), but it gives the impression that either he's not listening--which would be very troublesome if true for the brand--or that he's simply mistaken about those facts such that it may be impacting his advice.
    The easiest example today is in the intro saying Alexis is an optometrist (average US salary somewhere between $125k-$150k, whereas when she introduces herself she's an optician (average US salary approx. $45k-$55k). That variable of income is HUGE for this type of conversation.

    • @ramitsethi
      @ramitsethi  23 วันที่ผ่านมา +39

      This is a good comment and that mistake was mine alone. Thanks for pointing it out

    • @stop08it
      @stop08it 23 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

      I’m always learning from you Ramit, even from this comment!

  • @lynne7656
    @lynne7656 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Love the inclusion of the scenarios and actually getting to actions. And letting the son contribute to his own college thru student loans will make it more meaningful to him. I could fully cover college but never would because it's an important life lesson.

  • @charmin78
    @charmin78 21 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    “Making is easier for my kid” = finding a balance of growth that happens from struggling in controlled ways.

  • @kbart9576
    @kbart9576 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +16

    I'm kind of surprised quitting the costco job was on the table given i imagine they get Healthcare from that job and market health care would probably be a big hit. Any way to understand this?

  • @jackie8357
    @jackie8357 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    How lovely these two are!!

  • @DavidSmith-wq3wu
    @DavidSmith-wq3wu 22 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    I don't understand the obsession with private schools. I'm now 56 years old, and my cohort pretty much ended up where they are regardless of their schooling.

  • @mflong100
    @mflong100 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +13

    Glad I watched this rather than comment on the title. They are going to be fine. ❤❤❤

  • @cookinthekitchen
    @cookinthekitchen 23 วันที่ผ่านมา +4

    I disagree with parents going into debt for private school or maybe I just feel bad for them. It has been proven that an investment account with all that tuition money would help their future lives a lot more

  • @SmallWorldColumbus
    @SmallWorldColumbus 22 วันที่ผ่านมา +6

    I haven't finished the episode yet, but I think Alexis needs to go to therapy over her jury duty. Her time there seems to have given her anxiety over keeping her son safe.

  • @kingsofbattlegaming1540
    @kingsofbattlegaming1540 22 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    Another IWT video. Can’t wait to jump into the comments to see people being supportive, constructive, and non-judgmental 😀

  • @JoshHitti
    @JoshHitti 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +42

    Fun fact: The majority of millionaires (two-thirds) went to public state schools, while only 8% went to private schools.

    • @rebeltheharem7028
      @rebeltheharem7028 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

      10% of kids are enrolled in private schools. That means, proportionally, kids have a higher chance of being millionaires if they went to public schools or public charter schools, than if they went to private schools.

    • @JoshHitti
      @JoshHitti 23 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      ⁠@@rebeltheharem7028 I should clarify, this is public universities. Roughly 30% of college students attend a private university.

  • @Mimits20
    @Mimits20 11 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    I love this podcast and it has changed my relationship with money. However, I am yet to see an episode where couples and Ramit discuss saving for their kids future college tuitions. How come? And nobody talks about a saving/ investment fund for that purpose. Or is it assumed that they will cash out their investments for kids college fees? Or is it assumed the kids take care of that themselves. It would be a good topic to explore. May be Ramit can do one of those short videos discussing this

  • @KM-ez7pk
    @KM-ez7pk 23 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

    Love this couple! Almost teared up when one said that they opened up because they realized how important it was to their partner. Real love, partnership and teamwork.
    For my own curiosity, I wish Ramit had dug more into why the private school is so important bc it’s killing them financially and putting them in a place where their son won’t be able to go to the college of his choice debt free. They mentioned safety, sometimes it’s cheaper to move to a better neighborhood then pay for private school. Is it bc they’re an LGBT couple and the community isn’t affirming? Still cheaper to find a new community. It’s their choice and priorities but would love to understand more.

    • @Capycorg
      @Capycorg 23 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      They covered this - one of the wives was on a jury duty About a school shooting.

    • @KM-ez7pk
      @KM-ez7pk 23 วันที่ผ่านมา

      @@CapycorgI did hear that so I’d want to know what makes this school safer then others. Schools with everything from security guards to metal detectors have shootings. It didn’t strike me as a core reason to sacrifice financial health

    • @AlisonBurgos-j4y
      @AlisonBurgos-j4y 20 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Hi. Olivia here. So there were several reasons why we wanted to send him to private school originally. The opportunity to experience so many things public schools don’t offer anymore (theater programs, extensive music programs, etc..), the student to teacher ratio is strikingly different (a teacher and teachers assistant for 18 kids vs 34 kids with only 1 teacher), the campus is beautiful, modern and safe, most private schools have a dramatic decrease in violence of any kind, the opportunity to grow up with kids that come from homes with more opportunities, and this particular school is attached to a University so access to renowned professors and guests speakers is also a benefit. I had an opportunity to go to private school when I was younger and I chose not to, I believe that choice might have had a negative impact on my educational trajectory. So it was a dream of mine to send him to this kind of school. Again, when we made the decision when he was going into kindergarten my mother offered to pay for a decent portion of school so it was an easy decision. Once she passed, he had already been there 3 years and built comfort and friendships as did we, so we just said ok, we will figure it out. Then two years ago my wife was on the Stoneman Douglas Death Penalty jury and safety has become so important for us. She had to walk through that school with blood stained walls and desk, it was life changing for our family. Hope that helps clear up some of our decision making.

    • @KM-ez7pk
      @KM-ez7pk 20 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      @ hiii! Thanks so much for this. Definitely understand a lot better now. The school sounds great.

  • @shinetta87
    @shinetta87 22 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    This was a wonderful episode! Very wonderful women and I’m inspired to examine my own life and beliefs.

  • @bijoujohnson
    @bijoujohnson 23 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    I love how he went into how they had built up the investments. I feel like this is often skipped over in some other episodes.

  • @ILovePlants33
    @ILovePlants33 23 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    Loved this episode but some feedback
    I hated the 4 facet options. A) felt like a huge facet commercial-i sure hope they paid you more for this than just the regular ads you do
    B) I've listened to all your episodes and feel like the choices YOU give people are easier for me the listener to follow
    Omg PLEASE use the 'you have to plug the holes before you put more water in the bucket' repeatedly. Hits the nail on the head for so many couples you have on!
    Lastly, how much after the fact are the follow ups? It blows my mind that couples are on board with simple tasks that might take a day(move money from savings, pay off cards, close cards) and they haven't done it
    I do wish you addressed no one should ever base their finances on planning to get an inheritance. So many ways inheritances won't happen and you're left with you're own lack of planning/ saving.
    Thanks for another great episode and nice to see a couple with so much love, respect, and teamwork ❤

  • @lunatiger
    @lunatiger 23 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

    I worry having a “security blanket” for your child would become a detriment to your child. It teaches them nothing about self reliance and problem solving skills. It enforces entitlement that this security would always be there to save them, which may not always be the case. This issue is pretty much reflected on Olivia showing her relying on her mother’s inheritance. Olivia did not reign in her spending when it was needed, and still had major money issues even with a big fat inheritance.
    Security blankets are for babies, babies grow out of them and you want your child to grow up into a functioning adult that can manage money instead of grabbing onto a security blanket. Teaching them self reliance, money management, and problem solving skills are way better for them in the long run.
    You can be sure without a security blanket, you’ll learn how to save way faster. That’s what happened to me. I don’t expect a big inheritance from my parents but manage my money well and quickly learned in my 20s cause I had to. 😂😂😂. It sounds bad, that there’s no one supporting you. but I don’t worry about money like other people cause of my self reliance. My parent still love me and support me in other ways.

    • @ericar.6370
      @ericar.6370 23 วันที่ผ่านมา

      It’s definitely possible to teach your kids self-reliance and money management even when they know they’ll be getting an inheritance. It takes effort and thought, but it’s totally possible.

  • @moniques5545
    @moniques5545 23 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    I loved the shift in this episode, the love combined with a positive vision that makes the change meaningful - it’s about getting something good, not about loss. On activities, I’ve found my child and I really enjoy the calm and freedom of less scheduled activities :)

  • @sarahjfarber
    @sarahjfarber 23 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

    Eff you, Ramit, you made me cry. I didn't sign up for this!

  • @wastingtimetay
    @wastingtimetay 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    awesome couple, awesome episode - a lot of the work was done for them via the scenario options - i bet past couples who stalled at vision-making and CSP-altering would have enjoyed that shortcut too

  • @kingsgold
    @kingsgold 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    making more money isnt inherently a bad thing, but that shouldnt come at the cost of ignoring your current spending habits. Lifestyle inflation is a deadly beast and will eat anyone alive that isnt aware of it. Living in America is a dangerous environment and knowing that you are basically spending top dollar on all the convenience all the time will leave you broke and hopeless. Everyone should WANT to make more money, but that necessarily the #1 solution to all your money problems.

  • @RocketTingKdrama
    @RocketTingKdrama 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +16

    One of your best episodes ❤❤❤

  • @charmin78
    @charmin78 21 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    Takeaway: “You got lucky twice.” It wasn’t based on skill.

  • @freehypes
    @freehypes 23 วันที่ผ่านมา +4

    lmao an hour into the interview we learn she got a fat $1m inheritance and has already spent a quarter of it. nice LOL. regardless, even if you back that out they still have over $2M NW which is great (some efficient couple in their 50s would be well past $2M, but its a great # for anyone to have since many people don't even same anywhere close to $1M by their 50s). still it is quite interesting when you learn someone got a big inheritance to save them/keep them afloat/make life easier. but good for them and well done by her mother to help pass that on. this was overall the most enjoyable interview i've seen on this channel in a long time. i wish both of these women the best of luck also, my god she hit the JACKPOT being with costco and investing in her employer plan. 800k of gains on 200k of contributions (especially considering only 120k contributions were from her). that is amazing lol. but very telling that without these 2 big lucky pieces, they'd only be at low $1Ms which is actually shocking and shows what's going on to ramit's point

  • @MoneyMindsetCoach3
    @MoneyMindsetCoach3 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +22

    I never understand how people with a net worth of millions but have credit card debt?? Why? I can see using credit but you have to pay it off at the end of the month.

    • @Jeez001
      @Jeez001 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      People maxing out retirement while raking up debt..

    • @joycef8443
      @joycef8443 24 วันที่ผ่านมา

      @@Jeez001dumb, huh?

    • @ignitionSoldier
      @ignitionSoldier 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Most of their net worth is probably in roth ira, ira or 401k. Makes sense to me...

    • @evanwrenn402
      @evanwrenn402 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      ⁠​⁠@@ignitionSoldierthey have $120,000 in savings. No clue why they don’t use that to pay off cc debt.

  • @charmin78
    @charmin78 21 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    The couple’s Plan:
    1. Debt free: use savings to pay off credit card debt.
    2. 6 month emergency savings
    3. Eat out less

  • @rugiOHHHH
    @rugiOHHHH 23 วันที่ผ่านมา +4

    ramit that cardigan is fire, where you get that at

    • @ericar.6370
      @ericar.6370 23 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Agree, and the gray and navy combo is also 🔥