It's an adaptation to not feeling good enough. To shame. To a negative self-concept. Blame as an externalisation of the internal sadness. Blaming self-created problems on the outside, so you don't have to focus on the problems on the inside: a self-protective distraction from emotional pain. There's lots of self-sabotage aswell. Not allowing yourself to achieve that external thing, because you're afraid of being so "successful", everything being in order, but still feeling you're a failure or you're not good enough. I found the only way to change it is to allow yourself to achieve all of the things, challenge the scary things you're afraid of achieving and of course confront the underlying emotional pain you're trying so hard to distract from. It helps if someone who helps you to see the good in you (regardless of conditions) is helping you to confront these problems, for example a qualified therapist. I'm still working on it, because it feels like there are so many advantages to constant productivity, achieving more in less time, etc. I tell myself that, the more time I spend doing, the less time I spend feeling (being) and life without feeling isn't living, it's surviving. It's important to revive yourself from your emotional death and escape from the past. It feels worse before it feels better, but 100% worth it.
So true 💯 Perfectionism has external orientation and aims at external validation. It says "Look what the world expects from you and try to achieve it". The antidote is inner acceptance and connecting with our own self. The message is now different "You are enough as you are. You don't need to fit to what the world needs from you."
What has your experience of perfectionism been (either for yourself or a loved one)? Let me know in the comments❤️
It's an adaptation to not feeling good enough. To shame. To a negative self-concept.
Blame as an externalisation of the internal sadness. Blaming self-created problems on the outside, so you don't have to focus on the problems on the inside: a self-protective distraction from emotional pain. There's lots of self-sabotage aswell. Not allowing yourself to achieve that external thing, because you're afraid of being so "successful", everything being in order, but still feeling you're a failure or you're not good enough.
I found the only way to change it is to allow yourself to achieve all of the things, challenge the scary things you're afraid of achieving and of course confront the underlying emotional pain you're trying so hard to distract from. It helps if someone who helps you to see the good in you (regardless of conditions) is helping you to confront these problems, for example a qualified therapist. I'm still working on it, because it feels like there are so many advantages to constant productivity, achieving more in less time, etc.
I tell myself that, the more time I spend doing, the less time I spend feeling (being) and life without feeling isn't living, it's surviving. It's important to revive yourself from your emotional death and escape from the past. It feels worse before it feels better, but 100% worth it.
So true 💯 Perfectionism has external orientation and aims at external validation. It says "Look what the world expects from you and try to achieve it". The antidote is inner acceptance and connecting with our own self. The message is now different "You are enough as you are. You don't need to fit to what the world needs from you."