Something I've been noticing lately on FB and other social media sites is how much some people go on about how great their life is. How wonderful their husband is, how smart their kids are, how kind and caring their friends are, almost to the point it's predictable and nauseating at the same time. So many people are hiding behind a veil, they need to show the outside world how "perfect" their life is, but in reality, I think these people more than any others, are hiding a dark reality of what is really going on with them. I live with a narcissist who is also an alcoholic and nothing about this relationship is good or easy, if I can ever find a way out safely I will leave without hesitation. But, I can also say that I am so glad that I don't go on social media sites and try to convince the world that everything is wonderful. I keep my problems to myself, but I prefer that to putting on a false front.
I feel the same about social media. I know people that go on about how wonderful their spouse is on anniversarys but their spouse is not a good person and they ended up divorced. Stay strong. Find a good therapist so you can talk about it to plan your exit plan. Stay strong. You deserve so much better! 🙏💪♥️
What do you like about this person.......my therapist asked me to write what I liked about my ex and at first, I thought, that would be easy. But I realized I couldn't do it because everything I liked was a lie, smoke and mirrors. I was with an empty shell who would put on a mask, or slip into a character. And that is a punch to the gut, realizing the person you loved didn't actually exist.
Unfortunately, that's basically it..... Mine dumped me after an year of...Hell, always there was a problem for her, always I was at fault... Always, always and always... She was a victim....heh... She dumped me about 30 times... I wish I'd be kidding. And still I miss her and love her...But who I love never existed. Because for example, she was hating the 304s... Well, she came back after no contact-ish.... Called me twice in two different days, 1 day between each ofc... Drunk at 6 and 7 in the morning.... First was to tell me other dudes tried to kiss her and one did... Hurt... Quite possible she saw that I was sad and hurt about it, even tho healed a bit....It hurt like hell. Then, the other day came.... She came home with a dude both drunk and supposedly he only slept/layed on her for an hour and a half...Then she called me, and ofc, this hurt me like hell, hurts as I write... Trying to fight the part of me that still wants her....For those 5%'s of the time that it was nice........But yeah, I've been called quite a few things, narcissistic and bipolar... Which I assume she is, but yeah being treated like trash the whole time, I did start questioning if I'm actually everything she threw at me... It's unfortunately disgusting....I'm sure once I'm again healed a bit, she will come and punch in the hole.....Going to try to stand strong, but yeah,......Yeah... Ah and accountability, is something that doesn't exist in their world... I guess, I'm sorry for venting... But, stay strong and focus on yourself and on your healing process ❤
@metalassassin8841 I blocked my ex on my phone. He discarded me as a punishment, and I knew he was going to suck me right back in, and I didn't think I'd be strong enough to say no. He can't find my profile on FB, he can't call or text me. I didn't realize how badly I was being emotionally abused and manipulated, and towards the end, he was putting me in mortal danger. But the trauma bond was so strong, it was like going through an addiction withdrawal. I've been doing activities that are just for me, creating new routines that center around myself, and slowly, the grief is getting easier to manage. I've been 60 days sober from my narc relationship (of four years) and while it has been a horrible experience, I am getting better and stronger as I get my identity back. Don't let her punch that hole in your healing; it's hard but go no contact. She will never change, you can't change her, and the only person who will get hurt is you. No person is worth the destruction of your self esteem and identity.
I did go into my new therapist saying my mom is a narcissistic b!tch. But you, Dr Ramani, are the one to help me with this realization. You also helped me to realize that my actions were normal, maybe not the best, but normal. A previous therapist did try to diagnosis me with BPD but I just couldn't see myself in the criteria. My new therapist agreed. It is CPTSD not BPD. We are slowly working through your Core worksheets while implementing EMDR and other modalities. At 52, I am finally finding myself. Thank you!❤
What I liked I no longer like them because it was an endless cycle of silent treatment. I am living with them sleeping in different rooms because I can’t afford to leave with 2 kids.
All my answers to “What do you like about them?” would largely be in the past, something I once thought was true, but has shown itself to be either false, or so seldom that it hurts after it is there and then gone again, like laughing together.
This country needs your voice of reason and sanity more than ever. Thank you for helping us survivors be more informed, prepared and skillful as we work to protect ourselves in a world rife with narcissists. It would be wonderful if you could make some additional videos specifically addressing narcissistic systems (including family systems, governments, and important figureheads).
I agree 100%. I'd pay for a private channel that talks about narcissism in govt especially. Many of these narcissists like Dump and Cancun Cruz are making laws that hurt innocent people.
They may be afraid to speak out. They may not tell you what is happening to them. But you will see the signs. They will seem unusually stressed, paranoid, exhausted, isolated, depleted of their finances. But they may also seem peaceful and optimistic. So their attitude and personality won’t seem to match their situation. It will seem incongruent. As though they’re being affected by external forces. Because they are being abused by a predator. They’re a victim of narcissistic abuse.
Did you even watch the video? You respond to the title like you already heard what Dr Ramani said. I see you comment minutes after posting talking on the subject like you're an expert :/
@@NarcSurvivori never mentioned being the first commenter, i mentioned talking on the subject without listening to Dr Ramani. Are you a diagnosed narcissist yourself? That is the only logical reasoning behind your behavior
@@NarcSurvivor I don't see how looking in the mirror correlates with questioning why you believe you're more than an expert on this than Dr Ramani. To believe you're an expert in this subject enough to share your insight before listening to hers. I think you might've suggested looking in the mirror because it's something you do quite a lot :)
Why do I love my narcissist daughter… Because I remember how pure she was before she was infected by her father and that’s what I always hope for that return until the day I die 🥀
THANK YOU to you Doctor Ramani. I have listened a lot to your talks, and this is the one which has touched me the most. I’m so happy for all you are doing
1) Self blame. ... 2) Self gaslight. ... 3) What do you like about the narcissist? You don't have an answer. ... 4) You have to say white lies to people so you don't have to explain. ... 5) You often feel guilty, for the "wrong" things you didn't do, and no matter what you do or don't do, say or don't say, you are "wrong with shame". ... Thank you for your good work Doctor Ramani, I will also add: ... 6) Your body is in constant survival mode, at their presence or if you have to talk to them, you plan ahead what to say and what not to say and practice in your head before you dare to speak knowing very well they will interrupt and demean and twist and lie, your heart rate double and triple, your hands sweat, your armpits sweat, you clench your hands, you clench your teeth, your head ache and your temples ache in painful throbbing, pay attention to your body!!! ... 7) Self doubt!!! You still self doubt even after you are well educated about narcissism and psychopathy, you think that your self doubt is gone while the voices of the narcissist and their enablers are deep seeded, be aware. ... 8) An extreme people pleaser, self reckless, and self sacrifice.
I love your videos! Would you consider doing one on narcissists in non-monogamous relationships? With these relationships becoming more mainstream, I’ve noticed that narcissistic traits can show up in particularly distinct ways in this context. I came across an insightful Reddit post on spotting these patterns in plural relationships, and I think covering this niche topic could really help a lot of people.
Oh interesting and good one to bring up! I've become friendly with a guy in a poly relationship with this girl but she's got some issues and yet had a good handful of her own other people while for him she gives double standards
@@shortiejayyyI’m sorry to hear that you’re going through this. If you’re new to the relationship, I’d recommend taking what you hear with a grain of salt. In my experience, my ex framed herself as the victim, telling new partners that I was controlling or unstable, even while she was emotionally and physically abusive behind closed doors. Looking back, I wish her new partners had been discerning enough to question why she was using them as a sounding board for relationship issues so early on-something that’s a red flag to me now. If you’re in this position, it may be wise to step back and encourage this person to address their issues directly with their partner or talk to a close friend instead of involving you. Just my perspective.
Doctor, your videos are sanity saving for me. 10 years ago i filed for divorce and started therapy. My opening statement was, "I just want to be the man I was before I married her" My counselor was great! Unfortunately, our pastor and the Christian Counselor she begged me to see "to save our marriage" both told me, after hr prompting, I should stop seeing my counselor "because he was encouraging me to sin against God" if I followed through with the divorce." In co counseling with them, the message i was fed was that I needed to forgive her and "learn to respond to her differently." Needless to say I was guilted, then shamed, the hoovered. 10 years later Im in the discard phase, but I know who she is, how she is, annd most importantly, why she is the way she is. She wants me to be devastated and hopeless. Instead I am starting to feel! hopeful. The renewed sense of energy you disccussed is real!
I still don't know if I'm in a narcissistic relationship. What I do know is. 1. No one in the house gets to be happy unless she's happy 2. I feel isolated 3. I get attacked with rage when I hold my ground 4. I get told I do nothing while everyone around me says "I don't know where you get the energy" 5. She'll treat me with hostility then perk up as soon as someone else comes in the room and put on a show. 6. She can treat people like crap but God forbid anyone ever gives her attitude. 7. She continuously tracks my whereabouts 8. She tries to damage my close relationships. I'm not perfect. I have flaws like anyone else but this relationship doesn't feel normal.
@@poojalall3713 And that's the hard part. For a lot of people like me who wait too long to make that decision by the time we fully understand what we've gotten ourself into leaving affects more people than just us.
The hardest question I asked myself when I was married to my ex, was....why can't I get through to her? Today, I can't think of anything that I liked about my ex-wife!
Me asking myself many times if I am a narcissist. If I was the manipulative gaslighter. Meanwhile having audio of my partner gaslighting in action on my phone and still wondering, if my perception is still wrong, because he kept saying, that he wasn’t saying what I was hearing, so maybe I‘m even hearing the audio wrong… for three years I felt like the dumbest piece of shit who wasn‘t able to make the relationship right. No matter how hard I worked on my communication skills. How hard I was controlling my voice, what I‘m saying and how I was saying it, I just couldn’t bypass an angry Tirade, where he felt personally attacked by me (by me, telling him about how I was feeling). I thought I put him through too much, I were just too needy, because he always shouted „you are never satisfied with me“ or „I just can’t get it right for you, can I?“. Ended it a few weeks ago and I‘m amazed by the energy and love for life I suddenly gained (even though I still have moments of grieving the potential, the version he sold me by words, the according actions I waited years for)
Didn’t want to see it for years, though every time I read about narcissistic relationships I would see myself. I’m finally coming around to radical acceptance. The grief and guilt is unbearable. Nobody in their right mind WANTS to be connected to a narcissist. I’ve done everything in my power to explain it away and I just can’t anymore.
When I realized my father was a narcissist (psychopath) it was devastating!! My internal vision - was an old rusty can full of fat worms crawling out of the can. I am finally educated on the narcissist Ty Dr Ramani! I am able to finally put the puzzle pieces of who and why I am the way I am together.. not Puurfect though ! Yep agree we don’t need to be throwing the word narcissist around!!
Several therapists have told me Im in this situation. And although I see the traits, the guilt of labelling people I love is too heavy to bear… and means there’s little hope for change… there is good times which adds to the guilt. The knowledge is confusing and hard to hold onto… and although understanding is good, it doesn’t change the situation.. it’s just as tricky to figure out the daily games and just as hard to avoid the barbs.
Recently, I was sitting in a meeting with a woman I had never met before, and she asked how I was doing. I dropped a few words that life was tough and could be better. Her response was, "That's GREAT!!!" She didn't hear one single word I said, nor did she care. I wanted to cry. Now, the answer is always, "I'm fine." Period. Let me appear on social media as if my life is perfect. GOOD FOR ME! It's all I've got!
My only regret was not standing up for myself by putting her in her place on our last date and walking out. It came as a complete shock that the person who I thought cared about me would suddenly switch and turn into (for lack of a better word) a c**t, leaving me confused and paralyzed. I never received an apology and had to find my own way to forgive myself for ever falling for the BS.
"What do you like about them?" wow, while i was asked this question about few ppl i had in my mind, my brain was stuck coming up with some good answers. excellent question to ask.
Free pass smh I had feeling my anxiety from abuse is a performance and I’m “seeking attention” I wish I was invisible majority of the time ☺️ Love from Baltimore Doc
Yup! Dating males is way too dangerous now, not worth a woman's time whatsoever. There are actual creeps who want physical intimacy after cheap coffee dates and a bunch of lies.
Why I wasn't honest with myself. That's the hardest question. I thought about it in my head constantly. I knew I wasn't happy but I wanted him to love me....That's what I can't understand. He treated me worse than anyone I've ever known yet in the beginning he was wonderful and i wanted that person back. 😢
What do I like about my Narcissistic mother? Nothing. She is my mother I have to. It’s all duty and societies expectations. If I had to choose it’s not who I personally would personally choose but I’m Stuck for life.
What do I like about them? I wouldn’t say I like but admire or amazed at how persevering they are. In what they want or how they want something to go they don’t let anything stop them. They will keep it up until physically they can’t anymore or something threatens what they already gassed up.
The grief of acceptance ....then you're hit with the second phase...they've ruined every contact you had. Not only that the financial, sexual, gaslighting realisation. It's chronic hellfire.
I think the whole consciousness of the planet is narcissistic. After being abused and traumatized my whole childhood from a covert narc father, brother and my mom's tridimensional bullying, I'm trying to recover but tiptoeing around people's feelings and how this woke movement really just gives a slack for everyone to be blaming others for their own inadequacies makes me question not only my false reality, but reality as it is. I can't even understand how people start to form new friendships after being afraid of narcissistic abuse. I for one don't enjoy superficial conversations or mind games and it seems that nothing is real. I can't find a middle ground and don't know how to even construct a normal relationship. Each attempt ends up either with someone ghosting me because I went too deep too soon or I end up being not interested anymore as our values don't align. Any tips?
I tried to persuade my ex-husband to go to family therapy, but he never came, but my recovery began there. I began to notice moments when he accused me of something that was not my fault. And what a relief it was, because guilt and the desire to explain myself kept me in this relationship. It's been two years since the divorce, he's still trying to get me back...Through guilt...good luck
I’ve realized yeah they are projecting on us that we are the narcissists when we are the ones that are kind, caring and giving. Yeah I’m trying to figure out what I’m doing to make it worse
Dr. Ramani, thank you so much for all the videos. For me it has been very learnful to listen to. Will you ever do an Q&A? I have a question. I was lovebombed with alot of attention by a very young man for about a year. Every time I thought, now he will try talk to me, because he would get very close to me and look at me, he would not. Instead he angryly would walk out the room with a loud sigh. He did this a few times. I would stand there being confused. He would also sort of introduce me to friends, family etc. But not doing it with me, but kind of subtle. I felt i was looking in at a situation almost as a audience in a theatre! I dont know how to explain it otherwise. I tried talking to him a few times but it didnt make the conversation roll. So ai started rejecting his attention seeking and the it was like ww3. He got angry. I was seen by one of his friends with a man, my brother. And the lovebomber just fired this sentence while leaving the room " know I will leave you alone" two days after he would beacting humilating towards me in front of a crowd of people and then he sort ghosted me from then on. I was confused again, and angry and sad. But I thought is he trying to confuse me? And I thought I would act as if it didn't bother me. Again anger. But he would hoover sort of. Never explaining his behavior. i started ignoring him completely now and avoing him. He acts with anger by sighi g loud if we cross paths in the public. What shouyI do. Because the narcissist flag i rising but still i'm in doubt. He is now using the same love boming as on me on a new woman!
She’s been dead since April 1, 2023 and it’s been happiest year and a half of my life!! I didn’t realize how bad it affected my life until she finally died!! It was my mom for my entire life! I loved her, but didn’t like much of anything about her as a person!! She was pure Evil!! I Love my wife, she’s sassy, but she’s fun!!
Mine showed up last night after no contact for 30 days. And asked me if there is anyone else because that’s the only reason why I didn’t reach out. And I must say if there is someone else so they can make a decision on their end. Aka there is already someone there they have in mind; projecting
I hate how much I can relate to this. I have been blaming myself for so long and so sad and devastating to know that he is not going to change. Nothing I do will change and he won’t understand or care
A lot of times, being in a narcissist relationship means struggling in silence. If someone has never experienced that type of relationship, they just can't understand what it's like.
I agree! It's a VERY lonely place to be. No one wants to hear the negative stuff, even if they believe you. They change the subject, cut you off , they don't want to hear what you are experiencing. The couple of people I have in my life who has heard enough to get the true picture have the same attitude and that is "I'm so glad I don't have to deal with that! I'm so glad I'm single or I have a loving partner and one OLD friend says she feels better because her problems don't seem so great after listening to what I'm dealing with. Hurtful and NOT HELPFUL!
I do not pathologies or diagnose people. I'm not in a professional setting. It was me to take a violent ex back in my house after 6 month of no contact. My responsability. After three month i had knife cuts and a gun in my face. Not my brain, not my emotions set me free, it was my body who wanted to survive. A whole town helped me. Nobody judged me for taking her back. I was full of shame. It was a wohle new experice for a strong guy even being loved for being weak or stupid. At the end i learned what sweetness is a part of me and not only other people treat me differently now since they know this side of me. I take better care of me. My bounderies made me very attractive. But there is a lot of disrespect out there, that turns me off. I'm changed.
I’m beginning to feel like I should talk with someone about my situation. The more I hear the more I question everything I’m going through and have been through…
At the beginning of meeting them you gave no idea how things will unfold or how it will affect you. What you take to be normal fall-outs in a relationship are actually calculated tactics on rhe Narcissists side. It's only when you're in so deep that something happens where it's telling us something isn't right a d we start to question and fight back and learn about Narcissm. That's when the real battle begins. 🍒
My bf had his son this weekend. I said I was taking some time off and my bf said that It was OK. I felt much calmer and happier. I texted him this morning and he is giving me the silent treatment.
My boyfriend did the same thing. I was stressed and exhausted from both him and his son and asked to spend the weekend on my own. He said okay and then kept calling me, then silent treatment, and then deleting me from Facebook. He had meant to just punish me but didn't expect his games to result in a breakup. No respect or acknowledgement of boundaries.
Maşallah her psikolojik ve psikiyatrik durumdan anlıyorsunuz, narsizm başta olmak üzere kişilik bozuklukları, vs. Alanınızda yayınlanmış makaleleriniz, bildirileriniz, hakemli dergilerde yayınlanmış bildirileriniz, hakemli akademik dergilerde yayınlanmış bildirileriniz ve yayınlarınız var mı? iddia ettiğiniz veya kendinizin iddia ettiğiniz uzmanlık alanınızla ilgili konularda kitaplar sundunuz mu? veya kitaplara bölümler olarak katkıda bulundunuz mu? narsisizm hakkında kitaplar mı yazdınız? Konuyla ilgili herhangi bir akademik dergide editörlük mü yapıyorsunuz?
Exactly! I guess we realize, yet again, that misogyny is alive and well, too. Women have to be perfect. Ys can make death threats and SA children and girls and still win the presidency.
I feel like people like what they like no idea. It’s not that people shouldn’t like their family but maybe focus on independence and not be around stuff we don’t care about. No when they “help” it looks perverted or manipulative.l
PSA I also think we should be understanding if someone is unconscious or not sure why they are doing something. Some of it people don’t know why are we hating people over stupid shit
Not much after awhile just held on to memories of when I first met him.then realized he will never change his verbal abuse.and I then realized it was hope he would change and that's never gonna happen.
I'm 47yrs old. $22,000 weekly and I'm retired, this video have inspired me greatly in many ways that I remember my past of how I struggled with many things in life to be where I am today!!!!❤️
Maria Luisa Clare is to be thanked. I got my self my dream house 🏠 just last weekend, My journey with her started after my best friend came back from New York and saw me suffering in dept then told me about her and how to change my life through trading with her. Christina A. Tucker is the kind of person one needs in his or her life!
< I know that woman(Maria Luisa Clare) If you were born and raised in new York you'd know too, No doubt she is the one that helped you get where you are!!
I wish I was in your area as I can honestly say my husband was diagnosed with NPD in 2019. I had no clue. I didn't know the impact until someone sent me one of your videos almost 2 years ago. Now I understand but that trauma bond is very strong. Sigh. Efforts to find a counselor versed in narcissism have been fruitless (although I haven't searched recently). His counselor who made the diagnosis put all the blame on our suffering on us as if we just did THIS or THAT, it would be better for us. So, gray rocking and radical acceptance has been my path to sanity. But my first words would be, "My husband is a narcissist." 😂 Thank you, Dr. Ramani, for your wisdom
If you Democrats hadn't cheated in 2020 it would be the last two months of Donald Trump and probably no JD Vance would have ever came about now you gave us probably a nice solid 12 years of conservatism.. thanks Karen's❤❤😂😂
Something I've been noticing lately on FB and other social media sites is how much some people go on about how great their life is. How wonderful their husband is, how smart their kids are, how kind and caring their friends are, almost to the point it's predictable and nauseating at the same time. So many people are hiding behind a veil, they need to show the outside world how "perfect" their life is, but in reality, I think these people more than any others, are hiding a dark reality of what is really going on with them. I live with a narcissist who is also an alcoholic and nothing about this relationship is good or easy, if I can ever find a way out safely I will leave without hesitation. But, I can also say that I am so glad that I don't go on social media sites and try to convince the world that everything is wonderful. I keep my problems to myself, but I prefer that to putting on a false front.
I feel the same about social media. I know people that go on about how wonderful their spouse is on anniversarys but their spouse is not a good person and they ended up divorced. Stay strong. Find a good therapist so you can talk about it to plan your exit plan. Stay strong. You deserve so much better! 🙏💪♥️
What do you like about this person.......my therapist asked me to write what I liked about my ex and at first, I thought, that would be easy. But I realized I couldn't do it because everything I liked was a lie, smoke and mirrors. I was with an empty shell who would put on a mask, or slip into a character. And that is a punch to the gut, realizing the person you loved didn't actually exist.
Unfortunately, that's basically it.....
Mine dumped me after an year of...Hell, always there was a problem for her, always I was at fault... Always, always and always... She was a victim....heh... She dumped me about 30 times... I wish I'd be kidding. And still I miss her and love her...But who I love never existed. Because for example, she was hating the 304s... Well, she came back after no contact-ish.... Called me twice in two different days, 1 day between each ofc... Drunk at 6 and 7 in the morning.... First was to tell me other dudes tried to kiss her and one did... Hurt... Quite possible she saw that I was sad and hurt about it, even tho healed a bit....It hurt like hell. Then, the other day came.... She came home with a dude both drunk and supposedly he only slept/layed on her for an hour and a half...Then she called me, and ofc, this hurt me like hell, hurts as I write... Trying to fight the part of me that still wants her....For those 5%'s of the time that it was nice........But yeah, I've been called quite a few things, narcissistic and bipolar... Which I assume she is, but yeah being treated like trash the whole time, I did start questioning if I'm actually everything she threw at me... It's unfortunately disgusting....I'm sure once I'm again healed a bit, she will come and punch in the hole.....Going to try to stand strong, but yeah,......Yeah...
Ah and accountability, is something that doesn't exist in their world...
I guess, I'm sorry for venting... But, stay strong and focus on yourself and on your healing process ❤
@metalassassin8841 I blocked my ex on my phone. He discarded me as a punishment, and I knew he was going to suck me right back in, and I didn't think I'd be strong enough to say no. He can't find my profile on FB, he can't call or text me. I didn't realize how badly I was being emotionally abused and manipulated, and towards the end, he was putting me in mortal danger. But the trauma bond was so strong, it was like going through an addiction withdrawal. I've been doing activities that are just for me, creating new routines that center around myself, and slowly, the grief is getting easier to manage. I've been 60 days sober from my narc relationship (of four years) and while it has been a horrible experience, I am getting better and stronger as I get my identity back. Don't let her punch that hole in your healing; it's hard but go no contact. She will never change, you can't change her, and the only person who will get hurt is you. No person is worth the destruction of your self esteem and identity.
I did go into my new therapist saying my mom is a narcissistic b!tch. But you, Dr Ramani, are the one to help me with this realization. You also helped me to realize that my actions were normal, maybe not the best, but normal. A previous therapist did try to diagnosis me with BPD but I just couldn't see myself in the criteria. My new therapist agreed. It is CPTSD not BPD. We are slowly working through your Core worksheets while implementing EMDR and other modalities. At 52, I am finally finding myself. Thank you!❤
“I’m out with lanterns, looking for myself.” - Emily Dickinson
❤
What I liked I no longer like them because it was an endless cycle of silent treatment. I am living with them sleeping in different rooms because I can’t afford to leave with 2 kids.
All my answers to “What do you like about them?” would largely be in the past, something I once thought was true, but has shown itself to be either false, or so seldom that it hurts after it is there and then gone again, like laughing together.
It’s awesome you stood up for your core self and trusted your body your feelings your gut?
This country needs your voice of reason and sanity more than ever. Thank you for helping us survivors be more informed, prepared and skillful as we work to protect ourselves in a world rife with narcissists. It would be wonderful if you could make some additional videos specifically addressing narcissistic systems (including family systems, governments, and important figureheads).
They don't care.
Or you could just grow up Karen.
I agree 100%. I'd pay for a private channel that talks about narcissism in govt especially. Many of these narcissists like Dump and Cancun Cruz are making laws that hurt innocent people.
Flying monkeys will flock through the skies in endless droves.
In the meantime…. Reuse recycle th-cam.com/video/dmnJnVePyn8/w-d-xo.html…. Go to the end. Very brief.
They may be afraid to speak out. They may not tell you what is happening to them. But you will see the signs. They will seem unusually stressed, paranoid, exhausted, isolated, depleted of their finances. But they may also seem peaceful and optimistic. So their attitude and personality won’t seem to match their situation. It will seem incongruent. As though they’re being affected by external forces. Because they are being abused by a predator. They’re a victim of narcissistic abuse.
Did you even watch the video? You respond to the title like you already heard what Dr Ramani said. I see you comment minutes after posting talking on the subject like you're an expert :/
@ I wasn’t even the first commenter. But yes I am a narcissist expert. I have been studying this disorder for 7 years.
@@NarcSurvivori never mentioned being the first commenter, i mentioned talking on the subject without listening to Dr Ramani. Are you a diagnosed narcissist yourself? That is the only logical reasoning behind your behavior
@@mooop348 Maybe looking in the mirror may help you more than I can with my words.
@@NarcSurvivor I don't see how looking in the mirror correlates with questioning why you believe you're more than an expert on this than Dr Ramani. To believe you're an expert in this subject enough to share your insight before listening to hers. I think you might've suggested looking in the mirror because it's something you do quite a lot :)
Why do I love my narcissist daughter…
Because I remember how pure she was before she was infected by her father and that’s what I always hope for that return until the day I die 🥀
THANK YOU to you Doctor Ramani.
I have listened a lot to your talks, and this is the one which has touched me the most.
I’m so happy for all you are doing
truly my fav channel rn
I’m telling you☺️
You are the best doctor ramani ❤
1) Self blame. ... 2) Self gaslight. ... 3) What do you like about the narcissist? You don't have an answer. ... 4) You have to say white lies to people so you don't have to explain. ... 5) You often feel guilty, for the "wrong" things you didn't do, and no matter what you do or don't do, say or don't say, you are "wrong with shame". ... Thank you for your good work Doctor Ramani, I will also add: ... 6) Your body is in constant survival mode, at their presence or if you have to talk to them, you plan ahead what to say and what not to say and practice in your head before you dare to speak knowing very well they will interrupt and demean and twist and lie, your heart rate double and triple, your hands sweat, your armpits sweat, you clench your hands, you clench your teeth, your head ache and your temples ache in painful throbbing, pay attention to your body!!! ... 7) Self doubt!!! You still self doubt even after you are well educated about narcissism and psychopathy, you think that your self doubt is gone while the voices of the narcissist and their enablers are deep seeded, be aware. ... 8) An extreme people pleaser, self reckless, and self sacrifice.
Dr Ramani, I just love your role plays, they really make me chuckle because they're just so good and spot on! Much appreciated. ❤
I love your videos! Would you consider doing one on narcissists in non-monogamous relationships? With these relationships becoming more mainstream, I’ve noticed that narcissistic traits can show up in particularly distinct ways in this context. I came across an insightful Reddit post on spotting these patterns in plural relationships, and I think covering this niche topic could really help a lot of people.
Oh interesting and good one to bring up! I've become friendly with a guy in a poly relationship with this girl but she's got some issues and yet had a good handful of her own other people while for him she gives double standards
@@shortiejayyyI’m sorry to hear that you’re going through this. If you’re new to the relationship, I’d recommend taking what you hear with a grain of salt. In my experience, my ex framed herself as the victim, telling new partners that I was controlling or unstable, even while she was emotionally and physically abusive behind closed doors.
Looking back, I wish her new partners had been discerning enough to question why she was using them as a sounding board for relationship issues so early on-something that’s a red flag to me now. If you’re in this position, it may be wise to step back and encourage this person to address their issues directly with their partner or talk to a close friend instead of involving you. Just my perspective.
When you know deep down inside you should end it and can't understand why you're staying. When in doubt, throw it out.
❤ perfect sign!
When there's doubt, there's no doubt.
THANK YOU for pointing out the energy equation. It is so true.
Doctor, your videos are sanity saving for me. 10 years ago i filed for divorce and started therapy. My opening statement was, "I just want to be the man I was before I married her" My counselor was great! Unfortunately, our pastor and the Christian Counselor she begged me to see "to save our marriage" both told me, after hr prompting, I should stop seeing my counselor "because he was encouraging me to sin against God" if I followed through with the divorce." In co counseling with them, the message i was fed was that I needed to forgive her and "learn to respond to her differently." Needless to say I was guilted, then shamed, the hoovered. 10 years later Im in the discard phase, but I know who she is, how she is, annd most importantly, why she is the way she is. She wants me to be devastated and hopeless. Instead I am starting to feel! hopeful. The renewed sense of energy you disccussed is real!
They suck your soul. That's their thing. I've watched friends die from it. So hard to watch. Nothing to do. They won't leave. 😢
We are not worthy!
Thank you so much for sharing your knowledge freely with sooo many others.
Dr R, you’re awesome. 🙏🙂
I still don't know if I'm in a narcissistic relationship. What I do know is.
1. No one in the house gets to be happy unless she's happy
2. I feel isolated
3. I get attacked with rage when I hold my ground
4. I get told I do nothing while everyone around me says "I don't know where you get the energy"
5. She'll treat me with hostility then perk up as soon as someone else comes in the room and put on a show.
6. She can treat people like crap but God forbid anyone ever gives her attitude.
7. She continuously tracks my whereabouts
8. She tries to damage my close relationships.
I'm not perfect. I have flaws like anyone else but this relationship doesn't feel normal.
I know I am in a narcissistic relationship. Tried to change it. Over and over and over. Only solution?
Leave...
@etechconnect48 Yeah
Definitely u r ! Run 🏃
@@poojalall3713 And that's the hard part. For a lot of people like me who wait too long to make that decision by the time we fully understand what we've gotten ourself into leaving affects more people than just us.
I feel seen, mentioned, Thank you.
I have been exhausted for two decades now 😔
“I’m out with lanterns, looking for myself.” - Emily Dickinson
Never heard that before, thank you.
The hardest question I asked myself when I was married to my ex, was....why can't I get through to her?
Today, I can't think of anything that I liked about my ex-wife!
Me asking myself many times if I am a narcissist. If I was the manipulative gaslighter. Meanwhile having audio of my partner gaslighting in action on my phone and still wondering, if my perception is still wrong, because he kept saying, that he wasn’t saying what I was hearing, so maybe I‘m even hearing the audio wrong… for three years I felt like the dumbest piece of shit who wasn‘t able to make the relationship right. No matter how hard I worked on my communication skills. How hard I was controlling my voice, what I‘m saying and how I was saying it, I just couldn’t bypass an angry Tirade, where he felt personally attacked by me (by me, telling him about how I was feeling). I thought I put him through too much, I were just too needy, because he always shouted „you are never satisfied with me“ or „I just can’t get it right for you, can I?“. Ended it a few weeks ago and I‘m amazed by the energy and love for life I suddenly gained (even though I still have moments of grieving the potential, the version he sold me by words, the according actions I waited years for)
Didn’t want to see it for years, though every time I read about narcissistic relationships I would see myself. I’m finally coming around to radical acceptance. The grief and guilt is unbearable. Nobody in their right mind WANTS to be connected to a narcissist. I’ve done everything in my power to explain it away and I just can’t anymore.
Thanks Dr.Ramani
My therapist told me I was complicit and that I allowed it. 😢
It’s not YOU
When I realized my father was a narcissist (psychopath) it was devastating!! My internal vision - was an old rusty can full of fat worms crawling out of the can. I am finally educated on the narcissist Ty Dr Ramani! I am able to finally put the puzzle pieces of who and why I am the way I am together.. not Puurfect though ! Yep agree we don’t need to be throwing the word narcissist around!!
Main sign is unhappy face and rarely smiling.
Several therapists have told me Im in this situation. And although I see the traits, the guilt of labelling people I love is too heavy to bear… and means there’s little hope for change… there is good times which adds to the guilt. The knowledge is confusing and hard to hold onto… and although understanding is good, it doesn’t change the situation.. it’s just as tricky to figure out the daily games and just as hard to avoid the barbs.
There are alot of people who are in these situations. It’s mind blowing how many people just don’t understand or know how to better themselves.
Recently, I was sitting in a meeting with a woman I had never met before, and she asked how I was doing. I dropped a few words that life was tough and could be better. Her response was, "That's GREAT!!!" She didn't hear one single word I said, nor did she care. I wanted to cry. Now, the answer is always, "I'm fine." Period. Let me appear on social media as if my life is perfect. GOOD FOR ME! It's all I've got!
Thank you DR. Ramani!!!
I like when the innocence comes out in the narcissist that makes me see them differently. It lets me see that they do have redeeming qualities.
My only regret was not standing up for myself by putting her in her place on our last date and walking out.
It came as a complete shock that the person who I thought cared about me would suddenly switch and turn into (for lack of a better word) a c**t, leaving me confused and paralyzed.
I never received an apology and had to find my own way to forgive myself for ever falling for the BS.
What I liked about that person that when he wasn't drinking he was a different person but still possessive manipulative
"What do you like about them?" wow, while i was asked this question about few ppl i had in my mind, my brain was stuck coming up with some good answers. excellent question to ask.
Most people will often lie and say their life is better than it really is, they dont usually lie and say their life is bad.
Free pass smh I had feeling my anxiety from abuse is a performance and I’m “seeking attention” I wish I was invisible majority of the time ☺️ Love from Baltimore Doc
So so so relatable 😢
can you look into the 4b movement, its a south korea movement but i feel like we’re about to witness alot of women in the west participate in this
Yup! Dating males is way too dangerous now, not worth a woman's time whatsoever. There are actual creeps who want physical intimacy after cheap coffee dates and a bunch of lies.
I second that, I'm in Russia and it seems it is about to happen here as well
Why I wasn't honest with myself. That's the hardest question. I thought about it in my head constantly. I knew I wasn't happy but I wanted him to love me....That's what I can't understand. He treated me worse than anyone I've ever known yet in the beginning he was wonderful and i wanted that person back. 😢
Wow.. The time went by fast when listening to this video..
I have trust issues. Live like a hermit. Two narcs in my family.
What do I like about my Narcissistic mother? Nothing. She is my mother I have to. It’s all duty and societies expectations. If I had to choose it’s not who I personally would personally choose but I’m Stuck for life.
What do I like about them? I wouldn’t say I like but admire or amazed at how persevering they are. In what they want or how they want something to go they don’t let anything stop them. They will keep it up until physically they can’t anymore or something threatens what they already gassed up.
The grief of acceptance ....then you're hit with the second phase...they've ruined every contact you had. Not only that the financial, sexual, gaslighting realisation. It's chronic hellfire.
Nicely done.
I think the whole consciousness of the planet is narcissistic. After being abused and traumatized my whole childhood from a covert narc father, brother and my mom's tridimensional bullying, I'm trying to recover but tiptoeing around people's feelings and how this woke movement really just gives a slack for everyone to be blaming others for their own inadequacies makes me question not only my false reality, but reality as it is. I can't even understand how people start to form new friendships after being afraid of narcissistic abuse. I for one don't enjoy superficial conversations or mind games and it seems that nothing is real. I can't find a middle ground and don't know how to even construct a normal relationship. Each attempt ends up either with someone ghosting me because I went too deep too soon or I end up being not interested anymore as our values don't align. Any tips?
I'm on the exact same boat. Any tips would help.
same here!
I tried to persuade my ex-husband to go to family therapy, but he never came, but my recovery began there. I began to notice moments when he accused me of something that was not my fault. And what a relief it was, because guilt and the desire to explain myself kept me in this relationship. It's been two years since the divorce, he's still trying to get me back...Through guilt...good luck
I don’t like anything about him anymore. I didn’t know what this was Narcissistic I now know and I don’t want to be with them
I’ve realized yeah they are projecting on us that we are the narcissists when we are the ones that are kind, caring and giving. Yeah I’m trying to figure out what I’m doing to make it worse
How can I break out of the fear cycle ?
Dr. Ramani, thank you so much for all the videos. For me it has been very learnful to listen to. Will you ever do an Q&A? I have a question. I was lovebombed with alot of attention by a very young man for about a year. Every time I thought, now he will try talk to me, because he would get very close to me and look at me, he would not. Instead he angryly would walk out the room with a loud sigh. He did this a few times. I would stand there being confused. He would also sort of introduce me to friends, family etc. But not doing it with me, but kind of subtle. I felt i was looking in at a situation almost as a audience in a theatre! I dont know how to explain it otherwise. I tried talking to him a few times but it didnt make the conversation roll. So ai started rejecting his attention seeking and the it was like ww3. He got angry. I was seen by one of his friends with a man, my brother. And the lovebomber just fired this sentence while leaving the room " know I will leave you alone" two days after he would beacting humilating towards me in front of a crowd of people and then he sort ghosted me from then on. I was confused again, and angry and sad. But I thought is he trying to confuse me? And I thought I would act as if it didn't bother me. Again anger. But he would hoover sort of. Never explaining his behavior. i started ignoring him completely now and avoing him. He acts with anger by sighi g loud if we cross paths in the public. What shouyI do. Because the narcissist flag i rising but still i'm in doubt. He is now using the same love boming as on me on a new woman!
We need a video called 'What to do when the narcissist becomes president'. Please Dr. Ramani.
It's got to get tiring waiting for Hitler to come around after 9 years... Maybe you should look in the mirror.
No wars under the narcissist.
I don't support war mongering rapists. You do.
The war on women started with diaper dump. You support a rapist, not me.
She’s been dead since April 1, 2023 and it’s been happiest year and a half of my life!! I didn’t realize how bad it affected my life until she finally died!! It was my mom for my entire life! I loved her, but didn’t like much of anything about her as a person!! She was pure Evil!! I Love my wife, she’s sassy, but she’s fun!!
Can’t wait because while he is on this earth he will not waste a day to make my life miserable
Mine showed up last night after no contact for 30 days. And asked me if there is anyone else because that’s the only reason why I didn’t reach out. And I must say if there is someone else so they can make a decision on their end. Aka there is already someone there they have in mind; projecting
Dr Ramani we need a video called „what to do when a malignant narcissist becomes the most powerful person on the planet“
Seek therapy bc you need it
Look to your left..Look to your right...They are your neighbors and friends!
I hate how much I can relate to this. I have been blaming myself for so long and so sad and devastating to know that he is not going to change. Nothing I do will change and he won’t understand or care
A lot of times, being in a narcissist relationship means struggling in silence. If someone has never experienced that type of relationship, they just can't understand what it's like.
Totally agree and coming from a man, it's absolute hell. I can't fathom how a woman can be so cruel and sinister. It just doesn't compute in my brain.
I agree! It's a VERY lonely place to be. No one wants to hear the negative stuff, even if they believe you. They change the subject, cut you off , they don't want to hear what you are experiencing. The couple of people I have in my life who has heard enough to get the true picture have the same attitude and that is "I'm so glad I don't have to deal with that! I'm so glad I'm single or I have a loving partner and one OLD friend says she feels better because her problems don't seem so great after listening to what I'm dealing with. Hurtful and NOT HELPFUL!
I do not pathologies or diagnose people. I'm not in a professional setting.
It was me to take a violent ex back in my house after 6 month of no contact. My responsability.
After three month i had knife cuts and a gun in my face.
Not my brain, not my emotions set me free, it was my body who wanted to survive.
A whole town helped me. Nobody judged me for taking her back. I was full of shame. It was a wohle new experice for a strong guy even being loved for being weak or stupid.
At the end i learned what sweetness is a part of me and not only other people treat me differently now since they know this side of me.
I take better care of me.
My bounderies made me very attractive. But there is a lot of disrespect out there, that turns me off. I'm changed.
I’m beginning to feel like I should talk with someone about my situation. The more I hear the more I question everything I’m going through and have been through…
So insightful, healing, helpful, caring, honest true... Thank you so much!👍❤❤❤
At the beginning of meeting them you gave no idea how things will unfold or how it will affect you. What you take to be normal fall-outs in a relationship are actually calculated tactics on rhe Narcissists side. It's only when you're in so deep that something happens where it's telling us something isn't right a d we start to question and fight back and learn about Narcissm. That's when the real battle begins. 🍒
My bf had his son this weekend. I said I was taking some time off and my bf said that It was OK. I felt much calmer and happier. I texted him this morning and he is giving me the silent treatment.
My boyfriend did the same thing. I was stressed and exhausted from both him and his son and asked to spend the weekend on my own. He said okay and then kept calling me, then silent treatment, and then deleting me from Facebook. He had meant to just punish me but didn't expect his games to result in a breakup. No respect or acknowledgement of boundaries.
@@PeachBrandy_80 You don't need his permission to spend time on your own. Glad you are no longer with him.
Maşallah her psikolojik ve psikiyatrik durumdan anlıyorsunuz, narsizm başta olmak üzere kişilik bozuklukları, vs. Alanınızda yayınlanmış makaleleriniz, bildirileriniz, hakemli dergilerde yayınlanmış bildirileriniz, hakemli akademik dergilerde yayınlanmış bildirileriniz ve yayınlarınız var mı? iddia ettiğiniz veya kendinizin iddia ettiğiniz uzmanlık alanınızla ilgili konularda kitaplar sundunuz mu? veya kitaplara bölümler olarak katkıda bulundunuz mu? narsisizm hakkında kitaplar mı yazdınız?
Konuyla ilgili herhangi bir akademik dergide editörlük mü yapıyorsunuz?
Stand upp get upp bob marley
Iam alive celine dejon
Music is medicine to heal you ❤
Empath We are healers heal your selfs
Doc can you do another video for us lonly or narcissist survivors ☺️
I keep trying to escape from my narcissist, but he keeps getting elected 😫
Exactly! I guess we realize, yet again, that misogyny is alive and well, too. Women have to be perfect. Ys can make death threats and SA children and girls and still win the presidency.
Going on 9 years of TDS wow.
Omg not another one lol
Karen's don't think about stuff like work cuz they won't be drafted they'll just keep collecting pensions
Surprise. All politicians have those tendencies. There was no good choice.
I feel like people like what they like no idea. It’s not that people shouldn’t like their family but maybe focus on independence and not be around stuff we don’t care about. No when they “help” it looks perverted or manipulative.l
People who are living with and being affected by a narcissist speak a different language. I am fluent in that language. I can feel it and pick it up
We're really going to need this channel, knowing we'll deal with narcissistic Dump for 4 yrs in USA.
Or you can just do some adulting..
You mean the one that kept us out of wars?
I feel like a kid on Christmas❤❤🎉🎉
Hate is not the answer. Get over your bias - the world is moving on.
The old liberal women not sending boys off to dying pointless wars is a stressful thing..
AND THEY ARE TRAUMA DISAPPOINTED
PSA I also think we should be understanding if someone is unconscious or not sure why they are doing something. Some of it people don’t know why are we hating people over stupid shit
Why did I marry him
It's like we can't move forward without taking a leap back. Freedom is fleeting in a narcissistic world.
I would say why am I still in this relationship and ask God to give me insight and wisdom and knowledge to figure it out
Gotta force yourself to do what used to be easy n normal.
Thank you Dr again and again❤
Nothing I like nothing 😭 a fantasy of them
🌻
HI BABY, IVANLY, DO NARCISSISTIC MAY DISAPPEARED??
Not much after awhile just held on to memories of when I first met him.then realized he will never change his verbal abuse.and I then realized it was hope he would change and that's never gonna happen.
Why do I feel like my family will never be happy if he loves us forever?
Leaves us forever
I'm 47yrs old. $22,000 weekly and I'm retired, this video have inspired me greatly in many ways that I remember my past of how I struggled with many things in life to be where I am today!!!!❤️
I'm highly inspired.
Please spill some sugar about the weekly stuff you mentioned.
Maria Luisa Clare is to be thanked. I got my self my dream house 🏠 just last weekend, My journey with her started after my best friend came back from New York and saw me suffering in dept then told me about her and how to change my life through trading with her. Christina A. Tucker is the kind of person one needs in his or her life!
< I know that woman(Maria Luisa Clare)
If you were born and raised in new York you'd know too, No doubt she is the one that helped you get where you are!!
Wow 😱 Me too
Miss Maria Luisa Clare is a remarkable individual whom has brought immense positivity and inspiration into my life.
How can someone get connection to that Woman y'all speaking bout !!!?
What do I like about him? ______(pondering)
I'm a white lady that's thrilled my son's not going to have to go die in a pointless war .
what do you like about the narcissistic person? dont have the answer 🙁🙁
I wish I was in your area as I can honestly say my husband was diagnosed with NPD in 2019. I had no clue. I didn't know the impact until someone sent me one of your videos almost 2 years ago. Now I understand but that trauma bond is very strong. Sigh. Efforts to find a counselor versed in narcissism have been fruitless (although I haven't searched recently). His counselor who made the diagnosis put all the blame on our suffering on us as if we just did THIS or THAT, it would be better for us. So, gray rocking and radical acceptance has been my path to sanity. But my first words would be, "My husband is a narcissist." 😂
Thank you, Dr. Ramani, for your wisdom
The entire planet is now in a 4-year relationship with a Malignant Narcissist.
a malignant narcissist with dementia
So sad
🕯Hug
Yes we want safe work places what is this shit
Blown away by the new president NEED TO KNOW YOUR TAKE ON THIS LITERALLY SHAKING FROM THIS NEWS
Love those salty tears! Give me more!!! 😂😂😂
You know what they say about purple and orange.....royalty😊
I recommend you find a billionaire grandad ❤.
6th, 6 November 2024
World war III averted!!!!
Thank you president Trump❤❤
If you Democrats hadn't cheated in 2020 it would be the last two months of Donald Trump and probably no JD Vance would have ever came about now you gave us probably a nice solid 12 years of conservatism.. thanks Karen's❤❤😂😂