COMING OUT STORY - I WAS OUTED
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 12 เม.ย. 2016
- To begin the TH-camr-to-viewer conversations, I want to start by sharing my personal coming out story. I've never done anything like this, and gotta be honest, I'm damn nervous. I found the strength to live a more authentic life by watching other coming out stories, so I hope y'all can relate and connect to something in this.
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Motherlode by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
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This man just broke stereotyping. It's just gone now. Broken. Thank god. You go dude!
yes definetly. the fact that there are so many stereotypes out there is annoying af. like let ppl be themselves and stop assuming shit. not everyone that is born is str8. id wish parents always ask us at a particular time of our lives what we like.
I wonder how many other guys are like him but are afraid to come out? Hmmm
How sad that if it was 20 or 30 years ago this is the type of guy that would be in the closet probably his entire life. Thank God things have changed and he can just be himself and enjoy life.
Exactly
+djjimi - Trump as much as I dislike him is pro lgbt. But he'll never win the White House unless something really crazy happens.
+gerald bulmerr - Maine must be weird as fuck.
It's true, had to hide it for 50 years. Although I know people around me suspected it , even though I tried to hide it, it took that long for me to say yes " I am gay " to the people that thought they knew me. And until you can say those 3 words to people you are still considered in the closet.
+Ed 007
I know what you are saying. I knew I was gay at a young age, yet being a child of the 50's and growing up in the 60's and 70's, I had to hide it. I was married for 40 years. After 26 years, my wife confronted me with it and asked me if I was gay. It killed me to tell her yes. Although it did not matter, I had been faithful to her for all those years, I was not about to change it. We were married for another 14 1/2 years, until she died in Feb. 2015. She told me before she died, she wanted me to come out and to be myself.
I came out in March of 2015 and I openly admitted that "I am gay." My daughter was cool with it, my son not so much, even though he already knew it. It was one thing to keep it in the closet, it was totally something else for me to be open about it. I guess he has trouble with it, more than he wants to admit, because I never get to see my grandsons. He will not let me see them. Always using excuses to keep them away. He's hurting me, but he is hurting his son's by teaching them intolerance, hatred and bigotry.
My son is a tattoo artist, and he has a number of clients that are gay. That is different, they are clients. For his own dad to be openly gay is not kosher to him. Long story.
How am I since I came out? I was hurting terribly from the death of my wife. She wanted me to find love again. I figured that would be damn hard since I am in my 60's, legally blind from birth defects in my eyes, and I have full-custody of my oldest grandson, who is deaf and has Asperger's (my daughter's oldest).
I met a gentleman, and I mean that, who was also a widower (so to speak), he lost his partner of 30 years, 3 years prior to my wife dying. We started off just talking and became acquaintances. That turned into friendship. That friendship turned into falling in love with him, and him with me. I proposed on Christmas Day, we were married on Jan. 9, 2016. I am not ashamed to say that I am a gay man. I no longer have to hide.
What we, as older gay men and lesbian women had to do to survive those dark days, I hope the younger generation will continue to realize how truly blessed they are to be living now. It is still not easy to come out of the closet. Yet there are much more places to go for support than there were in the past. When there were not any.
you are in a Netflix film, Alex Strangelove
His voice omg😍😭😭
You know I came out to my bestfriend/roommate for 10 years 2 years ago. We were constantly joking around gays and stuff so I kinda knew he will not accept me. But he's my bestfriend so I tying to find perfect time to tell him. One Friday night we were drinking just the 2 of us playing online games. So I told him "im gay" . His response was "oh really? , cool. Man I'm hungry af! Lets go get something to eat!" . I'm kinda mad at him because im bawling my eyes out and thats all he have to say. He explained that its really not Big of a deal to him and im his bestfriend no matter what and he will love me for who I am. We are still best buddy to this day. He have a girlfriend and I have a boyfriend and we all just get along. :)
the deep voice !!!
FR!!
omg when you said doctors appointment i thought she meant to heal you from the "gay"
konstantinmilekic boi😂😭💯
heal me from the gay pls
konstantinmilekic same
You can't pray the gay away 💁🏻
Jonathon Patrick i know gurl
I came out to my horse, I would rehearse what I would say to various people about me being when I was working with her. She always patient and understanding unlike a lot of my so called friends. My junior and senior high school year were hell, I was so glad when I graduated and would never see those people again. People can be really mean.
Kevin Tyler, you're extremely attractive!
genxman fromthe1980s He really is
I was found out and forced out.
I lost friends & family, but I've come to the realization that I didn't lose anything.
The people that fell away was replaced by people that support me.
Be yourself and to hell with the haters.
OMG was not expecting that voice. That shit scared me.
Um.. What were you expecting?
I'm american and that voice was too american for an american to handle
+p c You're stereotyping
p c expecting a gay man to have a stereotypically gay voice. It's ok, just recognize it and you'll be good
Max I think we were talking about how we thought his voice would be regular male deep voice not like bass guitar deep. Like he has a deeper voice than most. Whereas everyone has a high voice compared to his deep voice.
A little secret, if you lost them, they weren't really "friends" to begin with anyway. Glad you worked it out and are happy.
I'm straight and would hang out with you anytime. You exude confidence, honesty, and sensitivity and are beautiful inside and out. How great to lift this weight off your shoulders at such a young age. You've probably already been an inspiration to many!
My dream guy right here. Whoever has the honor of being your man is one lucky guy.
Zach...You are a child of the universe; no less than the trees and the stars. You have a right to be here. You have a right to be you. I came out in the 1960's and hopefully paved the way for your generation.
Im 35, still in the closet for 15 yr now..it's kinda hard for an Asian guy also i feel a shame towards my family and friends. Not sure if I'm going to come out or not. just can't make up my decision..
Douchebag friend saw me on a dating site and told my brother and his wife. She wasn't getting along with my parents at the time so she outed me just to spite them. Didn't think how it effect me. Dad called my aunt who called me at work telling me what happened. Almost threw up in the onion rings. Lol It all happened last year and my parents still haven't brought it up. Dads probably just waiting for me to come out. I know he knows cuz he hasn't hassled me on getting a girlfriend AT ALL since I moved back into town. My Jesus freak mom is in denial.
Your brother should get a divorce ASAP.
+Frank Elliott he is divorced. But we're all cool now. It's her former bff who I hate. Guy saw me on Grindr and his first impulse was gossiping. He's gay too but unlike me, he's a walking stereotype. Lol.
Never saw this guy until this video. He really seems like a nice genuine guy, and seems to have a good head on his shoulders.
I don't know what his plans are in life, but I'd be willing to bet that, whatever they are, he is going to be very successful with it.
If people ditched you when they found out you're gay, you lost nothing - your real friends stuck with you.
I checked your coming out story because I saw you on Alex Strangelove. You're still beautiful no matter what Zach 😊
this is the most honest coming out video i've ever watched
I just wanna give ya a big hug, man... I'm very proud of you. I love that sweet southern charm ya got too.
+clipse9507 Thank you so much
You're too cute its distracting me :)
+Burak Simsek ikr
+Burak Simsek - yes ahaha
I didn't know that Turks could be gay :/
Ikrr
Paris Lambat
Being gay is not about race or where you are from, being gay is being human. There are plenty of Turkish gays. :)
This is honestly the person I want to become.
The friends you lost, weren't friends to begin with
Dude.. You didn't lose any friends. You filtered out the people who aren't worthy of your time.
Same thing happened to me when I came out at 19 years old. Suddenly stopped hearing from so-called 'friends', which made it pretty clear that they were never real friends. I grew up in a country town and gay wasn't ok. The people who stuck by me, are still my friends now. 14 years later.
Hang in there.
I was on my own for 12 years before my mother came to live with my "partner, roommate, (now husband) after she was diagnosed with terminal cancer. Mom and I never had the official talk, but her code phrases let me know that she knew. Phrases like "he has a lot of influence over you, just be careful. And my favorite one was when she when to South Georgia to see the family for the last time, she said "This will be the last time I see everyone and besides you boys need so time alone." My "He" and I have been together 36 years. 1 of those years as a LEGALLY married couple. "He" was there by my side for my mother's illness and death and I was there for him with his parents. So glad that I have him, but don't tell him.Any true friends from the "A" list will come back. And any of those friends should be wary of the jerk that outed you. You will know when or if you need to tell your father. Everyone is different. Trust yourself. Stay true and safe.
+hank maddox Taking so much inspiration from this. Thank you
+hank maddox Awe thats so sweet!!!! lol
Your mom has a special place in my heart now because she supported you in this life change.
Wow.... Coming out in Alabama...that takes guts. If you read this know that you are a REAL man and an excellent role model for young gay guys everywhere. Stay real....wish I had had that courage when I was your age.
I know more than most how it is to come out in a small town. I grew up in a village of 3000 people. I came out at 16, very much the same way. One friend found out. Within hours, everyone knew. I want you to know how many people you will help by sharing this. There are those who are misinformed, and then there are those who are just plain ignorant. We are born they way we are and we are just as beautiful and as valuable as anyone else. The people who pushed me away did not have the capacity to offer me the friendship I deserve, and I have people in my life now that love and respect me as I am. We have more courage than most because we have to. Thank you for telling your story. You're amazing. Don't ever let anyone treat you less than you treat yourself.
Came up in recommended. Probably because of you 😘
yaaas
+Tyler Oakley also came up in my recommended! probs because of you, as jolax said!
leave Tyler you're to girly lmfao
Ily tyler
I like your accent
I'll admit, as a gay and out person of 10 years, you added another perspective to my personal views of the diversity of our communities. Thanks.
You're cute, and I absolutely love your dog. Always live your own truth.
Good luck and good fortune in all your future endeavors my friend. Coming out is never easy but in certain parts of the country it is even more difficult. You have done well and seem to have your head on proper. I went through this process a long time ago, when I was around 14 in the 1960s. You learned who your real friends are, cherish them and remember that when all is said and done the only one you answer to is yourself. If each day you can look at yourself in the mirror and truthfully tell yourself you did the best you could with what you had where you were then you have done well.
I know things have changed entirely but I think you really do learn who your true friends are if you didn't know before
And u just wanna say thank you for what may have just you being yourself but because of that we have marriage legalised and so much more acceptance in society
Thank you
Just saw a clip of this at the end of Alex Strangelove on Netflix!
I wish I can come out like you...but my parents will die if they find out that I am not straight.....
✊🏼. Same
+SuperRegal79 bit pessimistic. It's not my mum it's my siblings.
in the bible it reads, my two people i the lord bring together .let such man bring us under.if god brings two guys together.no man on earth has the right to bring them under.love is all you need .straight or gay.moreover .out of a room of 10 people.pull 3 of the to the side. and let 7 go.if they can not accept you for what you are.
+SuperRegal79 we can wish to have parents like your but unfortunately all parents are not same minded bro
if telling parents are going to make you homeless.or violence might brake out in your home .keep your mouth shut.wait until you go to college.or you get a job.and or move out.or just tell them slowly.like one month but a guy poster in your room .3 months latter but a guy poster in your room. get the pic.until. it is full .of guy posters.from teen maggizine..when you and only you think it is time.and you think it is safe
This was so god damn cute and touching. AHHHHHH!!!!
I grew up in the AirForce and it was hard coming out to my dad as well. However, when I did we developed a much better relationship because I no longer felt like I had to hid who I was, or watch what I did or said around him. Thank you for sharing your story, I think you are a very brave and confident person; your story will help others struggling with coming out. Keep up the good work and keep posting.
It takes a tremendous amount of courage to be yourself and live life on your terms. Young man you are an inspiration to countless numbers of people. Always know that God loves you unconditionally and that you were created to be who you are. Don't allow haters to get to you but know that the greatest power in all of creation is self esteem.
sharing your story is so important. Thank you on behalf of all who learn, inspired by you, the importance of valuing themselves. I came out in 1990 in Houston, TX...and I know it is STILL not an easy thing to do..hugs
What a smart, sensitive, and self-aware young man he is. He'll figure the rest of it out in his own time and on his own terms. So contemplative and mature!
That's what life is all about. Be who we are! Out and proud!
I love getting up in the morning and listening to your deep voice while you speak about caring for people you don't even know.
I am 62 years old, I am from another time, but I am here to tell you that at your age you have it right. Happiness and love are the most important goals in life. Keep those goals in sight and you will never go wrong! Hugs and Peace to you!
Wow - First and Foremost, I have MAJOR respect for your post. I'd say "I know what it's like" but I don't. I'm old enough to be your Dad, and I haven't had the Balls to post a video yet.
What a difference a generation makes in coming out, you have so much life ahead of you to share with people HONESTLY. I lived my entire young adulthood deep in the closet; I wish you the Best of Life, Love, and Happiness!
+KonaMan62 thanks bud, and I wish you all the best as well. And when you do get a video up I'll be one of the first to watch
Dude, you seem like an honest and straight forward person. Who cares if youre gay. friends will find you. If youre ever in tennessee holler at me
Alastair and Zach, I wanted to tell you that I am 50 years old.....and about two hours before typing this , I just came out to my parents! I had been struggling with this for a few years, and I finally did it. I am still processing it all lol. It went very well, they were very supportive about it. Before long I will have told the last few people and then the closet will be part of my past.....not my future. Videos like yours have been really helpful. You may not have realized it, but the videos that you are sharing are not just helping young people.....they help all of us. You guys are great, I wish you two a long lifetime of happiness. Thanks! :)
Rewatching this after seeing you in Alex Strangelove ❤
I wish I could be friends with you irl
+Kevin Heimberger hopefully you will be friends.
i hope you guys become friends too
I hope you guys become friends one day
I just want to say what an impressive young man you are. We should all be as fortunate to have a friend like you in our lives. I wish you all the best in your life, Zach.
I am literally falling in love with your voice damn it's so deep
Zach; I have to stop and say WOW. You are a great model for young people everywhere. I've been making TV for 42 years and your clip was the BEST I have seen. Honesty, Life and Self. I'm so Positive for YOU. Captain Cares.
You didn't loose any friends. You just proved who the true ones are. Im gay as well and have had the same struggle as well. My realization about "friends" was a bit different. A year and a half ago I almost died and was in the hospital for 3weeks.... 10 days in icu I had over a dozen people that I considered friends and I'd do anything for them. When I was in there they avoided my calls and text. There was nothing worse than laying there n a bed wondering if I'd wake up in the morning. After I got out I thanked each and every one of them for proving that they had no business in my life. I've never felt better about life. Always remember the only ones that matter are the ones you can trust and count on. Your video will inspire many people struggling with the same battles.
Being from the South(NC) and a generation before you, I'm so proud of you and happy you got this process going way younger than many of us. Though true that society has come so far, it's still tough. I think it's harder when you are more masculine, ironically, as we can maintain the closet much longer. You would learn to dread the girlfriend question so much! That gets so hard to handle each year older. Well, keep us posted on how things go with school, family and BF. I hope your video will be seen by and help a lot of folks your age. Again so proud!!
You are so chill, I would have been out of my mind if someone went through my phone, let alone took screen shots of a personal conversation and shared them with the world.
You really have it together Zach! You inspire me!
Thank you! ❤️
Scott
Such a deep voice!!
He has such a smooth, deep voice.
Loved your story and that gravelly deep voice and southern accent didn't hurt either! Best wishes on coming out to your dad and other family members. A Great Video - I Liked, subbed and shared!
I've watched several of your vids and I'm just enchanted by you. You seem to be the most honest person who opened his life to everyone who watches.
I stumbled upon these videos, but after watching several of them I can say you are an inspiration to so many people! May you always be surrounded by people who care and love you for who you are! sincerely, AU alum :)
"...just outed myself, I guess." (Pause/Edit) " 'Cause I'm a dumb-ass."
LOL I believe this kind of self-deprecating humor breaks down walls & barriers. Keep it up, courageous young man! Your story brought tears to my 53-year-old eyes, especially the part about private text messages being shared publicly.
I am not rushing you to tell your dad, or anyone else, but I will say this: The longer you carry "The Big Secret," the heavier that weight becomes. It will become unbearably heavy, eventually. Much love & respect to you.
Zach, ton of respect my friend. Those who you thought were your friends really weren't! So go forth and live a happy life. I wish you all the best. I had written you a comment on one of your blogs. I hope you get to read it. It's all good. Enjoy life.
Zach,
I came across your channel today and the title of your video caught my attention. I decided to watch it and after watching the video, I realize that there was something about the way in which you express yourself that show your honesty. I like that! You seem like a genuine person. NEVER change that about you.
thank you. your story matters especially to those of us who had to live silently for most of our lives. im proud of your strength and honesty. im grateful you found your path and shared it in a way that i can relate to. that fear from being in the country town and damnation we are taught to expect is difficult to explain and worse to feel. it's funny because you see so much love and kindness but it never seems like it can be for you. but in the end it is and will be. if it gives you hope, my father was that same angry tough man, but he changed and grew because he loved me. it took a long time but it was worth every tear. thank you for sharing it life, it matters.
Kudos!! I applaud your video and wish you the very best. Kudos to Mom too for being so supporting .. I came out when I was 17 and thank the lord every day for having great parents that supported me through the process. I came across your video and just wanted to say that no matter the circumstances of your coming out you are a better person for it and your TRUE self. So my best wishes to you in your future. It's great you made this video because I am sure it could help many kids that are in the same place or worse than you are.. Stay sweet! stay cute! And stay true! Joey from NC
Wow, what a cutie! And I was totally not expecting the deep, masculine voice. Great story, btw. I hope to see more videos.
Zach! This video makes me so happy for you! I hope life continues to treat you well. Miss you and I hope we can get together to catch up one day, it's been so long since Andrews afb
We really do. One of these days
Congratulations ,knowing and accepting yourself the way you are
is a big step in the right direction .
Don't ever let the haters get you down & keep in mind that the biggest loud mouthed Homophobes are Deeply closeted Self Hating gay guys .
Adventures of Zach and B bro I wish you could be our friend, (me and my partner) we need couple friends badly. Someone to share your stories to woild be really nice, Im serious :)
Zach. Thank you so much for sharing your story. Near the end of this video, I was in tears. I haven’t found the courage yet to come out to everyone, just my best friend. But your story and experience has really had an impact on me. You may not realize it, or you may not even see this comment, but by just sharing your experience and story, you give hope to others. I know you gave hope to me. I know I got a lot of working with myself because there are time where I still don’t accept myself. But like I said, you really gave me hope and for the longest time in my life I don’t feel sad. Thank you, thank you , thank you sooo much. Like I said, you may not realize it but you’re giving hope and changing people’s perspectives. Love and blessings from TX! (Home) :)
As a closeted lesbian, I say thank you for making this video.
Watching your video really helped me Zach. I just posted my coming out video and really wanted to thank you for posting yours. Keep up the amazing work on your channel. I can't wait to see what the future holds for you!!!
Zach, I just want to thank you I have watched a ton of coming out videos and yours is the only one that has been such an inspiration and most relatable to myself as a southern country boy from Oklahoma it's awesome to see a blog-channel of a southern country kid that's gay and open about it I just want to thank you again so much for having the balls to expose parts of your personal life that most people myself included would be terrified to do so absolutely becoming a subscriber love all your videos thanks man god bless
Keep sharing! I was outed too and it ruined my life for 10 yrs. Me and my family still don't talk. Keep telling your story, you will save a life! Much love!
You were able to do what I never have been able to do. I wish I could start life over sometimes! Thanks for sharing your story!
Just be you! You seem like a great guy!! Whoever truly loves, loves you for who you truly are!
Zach- #1: you're not a "dumbass". #2: the "friends" who distanced themselves from you weren't friends to begin with. Being in the closet has the horrible effect of questioning the value of "friendships". If they don't really know you how can they like you? You need to deal with your family on your schedule, unless of course it's forced upon you. Don't underestimate the value of your mom and her support. You're young, healthy and smart. They're may be a few bumps in the road but you'll be fine. Cheers
Just watched „alex strangelove“ and saw a clip of this at the end. wow! congratulations! great movie 👍
Sounds like you have a plan and are giving it attention mentally, which means it will all work out. You are allowing yourself time too and not being hard on yourself which is also important. You'll do great.
Absolutely love your accent! Lol also kudos for coming out. I know it takes a lot of courage to do so. 💜
Hey Zach, thanks so much for sharing this brave story of yours, I can relate and I send your way good vibes so that you can finish your process of coming out as soon as possible since you deserve to be happy and in peace as anybody else. It's great to have found your videos.
When you say "I lost a lot of friends", let me tell you one thing... YOU DIDN'T! 'Cause they showed they were not your friends at all!
Hugs
Im so proud of you for living your life how you wanna live it. The fact that you were outed is terrible but at least you're out and happy. I came out to my best friend in 2010 first and I she was the only one who knew for years (mostly bc I still wasnt ok with it myself bc of my homophobic dad and siblings), then in 2014 she took her life and I had gotten to a point where I was going to live life to the fullest, as apologetically as she did in her honor and I started coming out to friends more and more and I worked up the courage to tell my siblings the day after Christmas in a letter bc I hit a point where i was ready to cut them out of my life if they didnt support me. My dad and siblings say they dont have an issue with it but the way they act whenever I talk about a guy or do anything "gay" clearly shows that they have an issue with it. But I dont care, I wont let them bring me down. I just hope one day you'll be able to tell your dad and siblings and be completely you everywhere
Your voice is so soothing lol
You are a BELOVED child of God, FULLY and COMPLETELY created in God's own image, with EACH and EVERY part of you, INCLUDING your sexuality, bearing the image of God. ALL that you have and ALL that you are is a GIFT and a TRUST from God. Hold on to this truth and let it give you strength when you have those difficult conversations. Nothing can ever change God's love for you. Nothing.
This is a great story and message. Thanks for sharing. Coming out isn't a one time thing you do it for the rest of your life with each new person. You have the right perspective "You do you... " and it sounds like you really happy which is awesome. If things get tough you have those people to help you. All good dude.
always be proud of yourself, and be happy!!!! enjoy life!!!!
You are an amazing young man. Live your life, follow your dreams, be happy
For such a young guy, you have your shit together. You have a kind heart, you know how to mind your manners and have respect for your fellow man. I'd say you have a solid foundation and are off to a great start. I hope more people get to hear your words. Your subscriber base is already impressive. Count me in! Take care!
I loved listening to your story. Thanks for sharing this. My son came out to me first, when he was 15, then about 4 years later, to his dad and brother, & the rest of the family. ALL of us are very supportive. And to me that's so very important. After he told me, he said it was like a heavy weight lifted off his shoulders. I'm one Proud Momma!! Screw the haters
Honest and brave. I admire you.
You have no idea how much of an inspiration you are!
Heart was in my throat for the whole vid. You've been through it man. Be strong. Brought all my own coming out flooding back.
Thank you for sharing your story with all of us, I think in life sometimes it takes something major happening for us to really know the people in our lives that truly love, care, and Are our friends.
I’ve been a subscriber for a while and I was thrilled to see your video in the movie Alex Truelove! I’m so proud
Notable courage and personal integrity.
Hey man, thank you for sharing your story. I admire your strength and courage and honesty. I went through a very similar experience in college (knowing who I was but not ready/able to tell anyone). Very inspiring and beautiful story that you can tell you dad and the rest of your family when you think it is time. Wish you every happiness and success. Welcome to being out!!!!l
Nerves associated with coming out are the worse. I've had my fair share of those. But you made it through and if that incident hadn't happened, you would be a completely different person right now headed down an entirely different time line. You needed that experience to lead you to this moment. So instead of seeing negative past experiences as "bad" - change your perspective- see these events as good and know you chose to experience it, even if your lower consciousness isn't privy to it. Nothing can happen to you that doesn't support the theme you're exploring here on Earth. Every event and choice is perfect.
Thanks for all the good will you've added to the world via your TH-cam channel.
in college tho. creeping through a persons texts is so immature
Great to watch your vid! And I a glad you are finding the real you!!
I was 17 yo when I ran away to college. I knew I was gay for years. But this was my time to become my self... It still took 5 years before I was comfortable being who I am.
I am now 75yo. Married to a wonderful man, 69, and we have been together for 48 years.
Life can be wonderful!! All my best...
Hi, I'm glad I came across your channel and your story.
I'm glad you were able to be your true self. It takes courage and strength of sprit.
I have never been able to be that courageous. both my parents died without ever knowing their true son. I'm 52 and I've never had a relationship of any kind.
My life has been depressing and so lonely and it seems too late to find anyone now.
Your an inspiration and an example of how it is better to be out and happy than in the closet and miserable.Congrats! Thanks.
Hey Zack! I really can't thank you enough for your channel and how you share your stories with us. I just got comfortable with my sexuality and you have instilled in me the courage to come out to my mom. Prior to this I just ignored the fact that I am gay. I didn't even think of telling anyone that I was gay let alone my mom. You have really inspired me to fully embrace who I am and come to terms with myself. I'm going to be like you and make a note and leave it at her desk so she can see. Thank you so much