This reminds me of people who remember dreams only to find out later that these were traumatic events that actually occurred. I've had at least one recurring dream that I believe actually happened and I recall one event that was traumatic that I did not recall until after someone told me about it when I was older. Thanks for this topic!
Yup. I remember meeting a woman who was seeing the same counselor as me and she had a recurring dream of a shadow coming into her room at night and climbing into her bed, only to find out it wasn’t a dream and the shadow was her father
That’s how I feel too. There’s so much I can’t remember starting at a specific time. I remember some things from elementary school starting maybe in third grade. But only a couple things. Everything prior to that is lost so it seems.
This sounds like what I am dealing with. I have no memories other than a few fragments up to about seventh grade maybe sixth grade actually. I remember most of my sixth grade year because I have a scrapbook from that year, also that year was particularly traumatic. I remember all my teachers but very little about what happened during the years before sixth grade. I have more memories the closer to sixth grade you get. But I would say from about 10 and under I don’t remember much other than some small fragments and basic facts like my teachers names. I have a very strange memory because I remember names but I do not remember events. I’ve always thought this was just a problem with my memory but I have recently come to learn that it has more to do with being raised by narcissists then with any fault in my mind.
I was struggling to remember on the spot a traumatic memory in court and was called a liar, the judge even called me a waste of space, and also hear the judge rule and let the abusers and their cronies go, and hear the judge call out the abuse never happened, I was abused thereafter loads by authorities, and made sure to ruine my life forever. So much for trying to stick up for yourself when scared. You think if you survive something is enough, but when you get to the other side you get another hit ..
Stay strong! I went through the same exact thing in court with my abuser 7 years of trauma it feels like it will never end! And where the hell is God's saving grace in the middle of this? Other peoples stories let me know im not alone just know that what comes around goes around its a universal law! Blessings to you!
@@chadqudrot7525 Its good to know there are others around, its really scary !! But my faith is shot, when also, among many other things, I saw my father was a wistleblower and had a painful life, was godfearing and good heart, his life was cut short seeing no justice (when I was still a kid). This just proves me more we can fight all our lives for the good and still be cut down and abusers scot free, on their throne and flourishing. I thought I could be smarter than my dad and live a simple life, and out of trouble, give charity, fear god, be understanding and even kind to my enemies ... all that just brought me to be taken advantage of and victimised and helpless and giving up on hope and in myself. There comes a point, many points of breaking for a strong believer, even you don't want it to be that way, but your faith in the face of reality breakes. Hope? How long can one 'hope' believe to the point of death's doors and a cocktail of double binded emotional and trauma, and suffering in silance. Nah, its unjustly unacceptable or swallowable some things, the only thing I can see it is not fair, and eventhough, no karma or sugar coating will change that. Sadly, Ive been pushed more than once beyond breaking point through abusers, now although I hate to admit it, radical exceptance is all there is. I can't keep searching for god and hope and karma ... when moreoften it is never found despite our utmost attepts but despite people will still judge. I guess thats the only way I can see or make sense of it is through radical exceptance.. even I don't want to. Everything else failed me, despite I so wished the world of kindness, god, protection, love, karma etc did really exsist. I don't want to let it go, it was my dream since a child, and helped me blindly stay stronger for longer through abuse.. but its served its purpose . Yet I still find it hard to let go of the people I loved.. because I loved them once .. some with all my heart .. its almost like loosing a part of me .. I know I have to let go to heal even it will take ages even I feel the hurt and trauma dancing infront of me daily and even in sleep my anxiety and flashbacks, especially the things we can't process and mentally hold... I don't have to completely give up on my nature of kindness because I can't change completely who I am, it will never sit well on my conscious, but just try to understand maybe most people arnt like that, and simply even your "best friend" could even be putting on a "perfect show of kindness"... just wait for the minute you trust him with your money, emotions, or truth, or your life.. you'll be surprised how much bets are off, he may turn into your custom made devil.. anyways I digress, and I appreciate if you don't agree with me. We all are on a daily leaning journey until we die, I may become a believer yet 😂.. 🤷♀️
@@leahc8347 I'm with you 100% I know this pain all to well there is no judgment here no criticism we had abusers do that for us! Your words sound so familiar I knew I was in like company reading your story. I agree faith can be useful to get us through for a time but seeing evil prosper shatters all that and we are left picking up the pieces alone no one else carries these burdens and even those closest to us can't comprehend fully the depth of our pain and suffering. I do find it interesting to think that my brain is trying to protect me from my traumas through memory loss thats pretty heavy! One thing that seems to help me is treating myself with love and care because this life can be exhausting. I'm sending the best to you from the highest within me.
I wish I could forget the pain, but instead I relive it every moment, of every day. I remember reading comments from people who said they were "numb" and just had no emotions towards anything, and that they don't remember anything.... That must be nice to not have to remember it, but not knowing why you're in pain/upset/depressed is definitely also very bad.
This has been difficult for me, and a bit scary...because I've wondered if all my blocked memories were due to some sort of sexual abuse. I now I think it's this. My dads rage terrified me. And what I believed was "If someone is angry, *I did something wrong."*
I'm going through this right now. It's just too painfull to remember. Those are mostly teenage memories I seemed being abused the most and by several narcissists starting with my mother
very pertinent I was just going that! I could not remember me as a child and had to ask people who knew me as a child, what I was like. How weird is that? Thank you
I have positive memories of my life at home and of going on summer vacations with my parents when we went camping or to cities to visit friends, but when I think back to my school days, I only remember negative experiences because I was bullied so much throughout my childhood. It's sad that when I moved away from that town the summer before ninth grade, I knew I was never going to miss that town and I never looked back. I'm happier living in the city. In my experience, people in cities have been kinder than people in small towns.
I can’t remember anything from any school days...... Wow, others remember! Wow I was messed up(and messed with).... A big hole in my life. Nothing there. Big Red Flag.
@@TejubescDM Same here with the friends thing. I have a couple friends, but most of my friends are acquaintances more than friends. Yes, university was the same for me. I remember being in an anthropology class and trying to talk to people and just saying small things like hello and how was your weekend, but couldn't really talk much to them beyond that and that never developed into a friendship. I joined a church that year just so I could get out into the city and socialize with others, but soon felt like they didn't understand me either because I'm part Jewish, so have always felt like an outsider.
Oh my word yes. That why I cry when I look at their baby pictures or pictures at all. It's literally foreign.. literally like I can't remember they are only 3 and 6 it's insane. IT causes so much pain and I can't remember my childhood only the reaction of the parent rage etc. And me seeing it in 3rd person . Deperaonalizqtion and drealization... sigh.. these videos validate me so much I feel like an alien on earth . Like im.not even here. In and out. Playing with the kids actually help . I just spend time eith them Eben though I won't remember the precious memories I know they will. I will be there for them despite. Everything .I know the damage of not being
Thank you for explaining this. I had an alcoholic father and my mother left us with him. I don't remember most of my childhood and then there's most of my adulthood being married to what I suspect was a covert narc. Not having those memories makes it hard to feel rooted in who I am as a person and to really process what I went through. I suspect I disassociated too.
Wow, this is a game changer. I now understand why I too, could never remember anything positive from childhood. Thank you for sharing that tool Michele, makes perfect sense. I'm going to incorporate into my meditation routine and report back my progress :)
I was in a bipolar narcissistic relationship for 28 years of her coming and going in and out of the relationship as she seemed fit always keeping me on the line. And now that I am finally standing my ground and not taking her back and she has tried for the past two years and still is still trying even though she has done even remarried. I feel like there's an emotional block, a wall so to speak, to where I can't connect with anyone else it's like I can't seem to fall in love with anyone else. I don't know how to get past this but we do have a child together and I can't completely cut her from my life as the child does live with me.
The part about supressed negative hides the suppressed negative is true in my experience...it was only after I processed my trauma, got over my anger, I was able to empathize and have compassion for my Narcissist. I didn’t communicate this to the narcissist obviously because she wouldn’t be able to handle the self-reflection. The compassion allowed me to forgive. Positive memories began coming up and I realized she did try to be a good mother and there were food moments.
I’m going through this right now. Had to block both my parents out of my life. I just had a baby (6 months pp) and all of my traumatic childhood SA memories have come back. I’ve been able to put all the puzzle pieces together. It’s hard to believe some of these memories actually happened, however I do remember how I felt at the time of the trauma. When I get these flashbacks, it feels like it’s happening all over again. I am working with a therapist and going to start EMDR soon. I’ve also been journaling, meditating, and doing self help workbooks. It’s helping tremendously ❤ thank you for speaking on this, glad I found this video.
I think I needed to watch this, I get exacerbated when I try to talk to mum about the past, a typical response was "I can't remember". My dad was a narcissist (dead now), my mum and brothers were no saints, either. My earliest childhood memory was 5.
Thanks again. I don’t remember anything from my childhood except for bad stuff. I’m curious but also scared of knowing because I think I was sexually abused and i do have memory of that. It’s a crappy existence. Not gonna lie.
This is amazing Michelle. There are other people out there who have also discovered this rewiring process in order to get positive emotions back, with very similar processes involving repetition of positive memories or gratitude lists. I recently came upon this idea myself, as I have been aware for a long time now thay I haven't been feeling much but I was also not facing any of my negative emotions. I had to come to realize that all of my emotions were valid.
I'm 53 and whenever we get together for family gatherings my younger sister, 10 months younger, will go down memory lane. I seem to always say I don't remember that. She always replies you don't remember anything. How sad.
I know you said in the past you can’t record a breathwork session for privacy reasons. But could you record yourself doing a breathwork demonstration for those that can’t join your official sessions? With no one else there? Is that possible?
Dear Michele Well you did it , you made me cry .thankyou for this video , and all those other ones that speak to our heart ! The fact you went through all this yourself, makes you able to explain it to us who have not had your training ,and counseling. But I have to say , you have a gift , to speak to us in a Way we get it , at least I do , your illustrations make it so clear , I have learned so much from you ! Thankyou! For helping us to take control of our lives , we are not alone in this ! I feel more confident, knowing I’ll be alright one day ! You touched my heart Michele, you are making a difference! Thanks again dear friend
My mother points out how I only remember the bad stuff, as if I choose to remember negative things, and I explained to her that we remember what has an emotional impact on us instead of the day-to-day stuff that we don't have to think about and figure out. She seems to think I'm wrong for remembering it, but maybe SHE was wrong for doing it in the first place. So, how do we make the positive memories show up in our mind, if we can't remember them?
“We only remember what has an emotional impact” Thank you for comment. When narcissistic mother points out my negativity. I can tell myself it is what the brain does when you are abused and never shown love. I am perfectly fine - my brain works exactly as it should.Thank you.
The struggle to think about something better can take your breath away And you are an inspiration Michele To get it back to where it belongs Thank you for your beautiful heartfelt story I believe it opens many gateways for others in troubled places You are Amazing as those wonderful expressions 🕊peace joy love and happiness God bless you and your family ♥️🙏Thank you Michele!
You are just so amazing. Your calm voice and hopefulness. I watch you all the time and so does my sister. It is helpful and I am trying to rewire it - going to a therapist through my insurance. I would love to join your class but I can't afford it. But totally glad you are here. .
I personally don't remember a almoat anything except the hardships , abuse physical / mental torture which was on the same level of physical prison torture "burning, whipping broken bones" and so on. And i never even lived in a place where i could address it. So i've always chose to cope with it and live with it eventhough i don't think i should. But thankfully i can't even tolerate hurting a rat so at least u had kindness instead of anger.
Michele! It just occurred to me, in the same way that you see people suffering from depersonalization (or brain fog) and memory loss after narcissistic abuse, did you ever suffer from having delayed reactions while (and even after) you were living with the narcissists in your life? For instance, besides the usual “I wish I had said this or that” after an argument you “lost”, or after an successful attempt of manipulation by the narc, what I have had delayed reactions with is things like two-and-two coming together in my head about the narc but years after, when it was too late, I’ll give you an example: my narcissistic ex had, not a crush, but THE HOTS for one of our coworkers, and in spite of how noticeable it was, I never picked up on it and it never occurred to me until years after the narcissist divorced me. Mind you, the narc didn’t leave me for this coworker, though, but I still find it fascinating that I never picked up on it until so late!
Thank you for explaining this so simply. This is very powerful knowledge, thank you for helping provide us these necessary tools to overcome and grow/heal from abuse that seems so elusive.❤️
Great video! Very helpful. Also sorry if it’s weird to say but you don’t look old enough to have a 19 year old! Lol you look great 😊 thank you for your insightful videos. As someone with PTSD who grew up with a narcissistic father, this is such a helpful information for me!
No it’s not I am just too hurt and so attached to them still as a child I am really trying to recover and help myself out of those shitty things just in general, ny parents were super trauma bonded or even narcissistic all after a deep chronic shame as such chronic shame or deep shame or deep fear of abandonment as such which is super hard
Thank you Michele. Big thank you for letting me know that there's nothing wrong w me. It was my brain's response to save me. I really want to join your masterclass but in our currency, it's way too expensive and unaffordable for me as I am a student only. Please help somehow. 🙏
i was talking to my mom about this memory loss thing and told her its getting hard for in studies due to this and she replies confidently that: when u get beat up by me 4 to 5 times then you wont forget anything💔
So I guess that brain-ER danger is the new stranger danger lol funny and all, but I couldn’t have relate more to what you were explaining about the brain becoming so predominantly focused on the negative once you’ve been through NA!
To meet with in person - no I'm sorry - but Ada de Hoyas on TH-cam is from Mexico but I think may live in Argentina (I could be wrong) but she works with people online
@@FromSurvivingToThriving Thanks, I'll try to contact her. And thank you, your videos have helped me a lot. You give me hope whenever I feel this is what I got and there's nothing I can do but edure it. Thanks a lot!
Does this relate with parental alienation as well?? Where the child thinks the alienator is all perfect and all positive memories of target parent seems to be erased and replaced with negative false memories?
Hi - you should definitely speak to your doctor about this =D but one thing I can say - antidepressants can help you with the symptoms you are experiencing.... but that's all they an do is provide symptom management. They do not help you overcome the dysregulation - but for many people that's a huge help. They are able to calm the symptoms enough to begin doing the inner work of re-regulating the nervous system.
How did u know I'm a driver? Lol. I was raised by my narcissistic mother without a father...I'm single because I would always introduce my girlfriend to my mom and they would never return after that my sister and brother were the first to leave and I stayed taking care of my mom cuz she's has multiple medical complications and I'm not gonna abandon here but she's still the same and I'm still single and I don't feel worthy trying to get another girlfriend cuz I know they'll leave me when they meet my mom. To much to type. I'm not even .2 what I really wanna say and no there was no sexual abuse we were not that messed up
This reminds me of people who remember dreams only to find out later that these were traumatic events that actually occurred. I've had at least one recurring dream that I believe actually happened and I recall one event that was traumatic that I did not recall until after someone told me about it when I was older. Thanks for this topic!
Yup. I remember meeting a woman who was seeing the same counselor as me and she had a recurring dream of a shadow coming into her room at night and climbing into her bed, only to find out it wasn’t a dream and the shadow was her father
When I was living with the Narcissist, I had nightmares of her screaming in my face...it always made me wonder if those were memories.
I had a few vivid dreams myself that can be remembered still. Recent vivid dreams that I had in April this year was very graphic.
@@JohnnyB719 they could be. But even if they are actually dreams it still reflects what is/was happening in real life
I feel like that is me. I don’t remember much of my childhood. I’ve had this vision of being on my bed and my dad coming in and it goes blank.
Thank you for a path. I have little or no memory of my childhood. Missing most of life up to 6th grade. Really bothers me, only left with fragments.
That’s how I feel too. There’s so much I can’t remember starting at a specific time. I remember some things from elementary school starting maybe in third grade. But only a couple things. Everything prior to that is lost so it seems.
This sounds like what I am dealing with. I have no memories other than a few fragments up to about seventh grade maybe sixth grade actually. I remember most of my sixth grade year because I have a scrapbook from that year, also that year was particularly traumatic. I remember all my teachers but very little about what happened during the years before sixth grade. I have more memories the closer to sixth grade you get. But I would say from about 10 and under I don’t remember much other than some small fragments and basic facts like my teachers names. I have a very strange memory because I remember names but I do not remember events. I’ve always thought this was just a problem with my memory but I have recently come to learn that it has more to do with being raised by narcissists then with any fault in my mind.
I was struggling to remember on the spot a traumatic memory in court and was called a liar, the judge even called me a waste of space, and also hear the judge rule and let the abusers and their cronies go, and hear the judge call out the abuse never happened, I was abused thereafter loads by authorities, and made sure to ruine my life forever. So much for trying to stick up for yourself when scared. You think if you survive something is enough, but when you get to the other side you get another hit ..
Stay strong! I went through the same exact thing in court with my abuser 7 years of trauma it feels like it will never end! And where the hell is God's saving grace in the middle of this? Other peoples stories let me know im not alone just know that what comes around goes around its a universal law! Blessings to you!
@@chadqudrot7525 Its good to know there are others around, its really scary !!
But my faith is shot, when also, among many other things, I saw my father was a wistleblower and had a painful life, was godfearing and good heart, his life was cut short seeing no justice (when I was still a kid). This just proves me more we can fight all our lives for the good and still be cut down and abusers scot free, on their throne and flourishing. I thought I could be smarter than my dad and live a simple life, and out of trouble, give charity, fear god, be understanding and even kind to my enemies ... all that just brought me to be taken advantage of and victimised and helpless and giving up on hope and in myself. There comes a point, many points of breaking for a strong believer, even you don't want it to be that way, but your faith in the face of reality breakes. Hope? How long can one 'hope' believe to the point of death's doors and a cocktail of double binded emotional and trauma, and suffering in silance. Nah, its unjustly unacceptable or swallowable some things, the only thing I can see it is not fair, and eventhough, no karma or sugar coating will change that. Sadly, Ive been pushed more than once beyond breaking point through abusers, now although I hate to admit it, radical exceptance is all there is. I can't keep searching for god and hope and karma ... when moreoften it is never found despite our utmost attepts but despite people will still judge. I guess thats the only way I can see or make sense of it is through radical exceptance.. even I don't want to. Everything else failed me, despite I so wished the world of kindness, god, protection, love, karma etc did really exsist. I don't want to let it go, it was my dream since a child, and helped me blindly stay stronger for longer through abuse.. but its served its purpose . Yet I still find it hard to let go of the people I loved.. because I loved them once .. some with all my heart .. its almost like loosing a part of me .. I know I have to let go to heal even it will take ages even I feel the hurt and trauma dancing infront of me daily and even in sleep my anxiety and flashbacks, especially the things we can't process and mentally hold... I don't have to completely give up on my nature of kindness because I can't change completely who I am, it will never sit well on my conscious, but just try to understand maybe most people arnt like that, and simply even your "best friend" could even be putting on a "perfect show of kindness"... just wait for the minute you trust him with your money, emotions, or truth, or your life.. you'll be surprised how much bets are off, he may turn into your custom made devil.. anyways I digress, and I appreciate if you don't agree with me. We all are on a daily leaning journey until we die, I may become a believer yet 😂.. 🤷♀️
@@leahc8347 I'm with you 100% I know this pain all to well there is no judgment here no criticism we had abusers do that for us! Your words sound so familiar I knew I was in like company reading your story. I agree faith can be useful to get us through for a time but seeing evil prosper shatters all that and we are left picking up the pieces alone no one else carries these burdens and even those closest to us can't comprehend fully the depth of our pain and suffering. I do find it interesting to think that my brain is trying to protect me from my traumas through memory loss thats pretty heavy! One thing that seems to help me is treating myself with love and care because this life can be exhausting. I'm sending the best to you from the highest within me.
@@chadqudrot7525 So spot on ♡.
Thank you
I’ve remembered everything....but only after I had distance from the narcissist, and spent time connecting dots, in therapy, journaling
I wish I could forget the pain, but instead I relive it every moment, of every day.
I remember reading comments from people who said they were "numb" and just had no emotions towards anything, and that they don't remember anything.... That must be nice to not have to remember it, but not knowing why you're in pain/upset/depressed is definitely also very bad.
This has been difficult for me, and a bit scary...because I've wondered if all my blocked memories were due to some sort of sexual abuse. I now I think it's this. My dads rage terrified me. And what I believed was "If someone is angry, *I did something wrong."*
I'm going through this right now. It's just too painfull to remember. Those are mostly teenage memories I seemed being abused the most and by several narcissists starting with my mother
very pertinent I was just going that! I could not remember me as a child and had to ask people who knew me as a child, what I was like. How weird is that? Thank you
I have positive memories of my life at home and of going on summer vacations with my parents when we went camping or to cities to visit friends, but when I think back to my school days, I only remember negative experiences because I was bullied so much throughout my childhood. It's sad that when I moved away from that town the summer before ninth grade, I knew I was never going to miss that town and I never looked back. I'm happier living in the city. In my experience, people in cities have been kinder than people in small towns.
I can’t remember anything from any school days...... Wow, others remember! Wow I was messed up(and messed with).... A big hole in my life. Nothing there. Big Red Flag.
@@TejubescDM Same here with the friends thing. I have a couple friends, but most of my friends are acquaintances more than friends. Yes, university was the same for me. I remember being in an anthropology class and trying to talk to people and just saying small things like hello and how was your weekend, but couldn't really talk much to them beyond that and that never developed into a friendship. I joined a church that year just so I could get out into the city and socialize with others, but soon felt like they didn't understand me either because I'm part Jewish, so have always felt like an outsider.
Oh my word yes. That why I cry when I look at their baby pictures or pictures at all. It's literally foreign.. literally like I can't remember they are only 3 and 6 it's insane. IT causes so much pain and I can't remember my childhood only the reaction of the parent rage etc. And me seeing it in 3rd person . Deperaonalizqtion and drealization... sigh.. these videos validate me so much I feel like an alien on earth . Like im.not even here. In and out. Playing with the kids actually help . I just spend time eith them Eben though I won't remember the precious memories I know they will. I will be there for them despite. Everything .I know the damage of not being
Thank you for this.
Thank you for explaining this. I had an alcoholic father and my mother left us with him. I don't remember most of my childhood and then there's most of my adulthood being married to what I suspect was a covert narc. Not having those memories makes it hard to feel rooted in who I am as a person and to really process what I went through. I suspect I disassociated too.
Wow, this is a game changer. I now understand why I too, could never remember anything positive from childhood. Thank you for sharing that tool Michele, makes perfect sense. I'm going to incorporate into my meditation routine and report back my progress :)
I was in a bipolar narcissistic relationship for 28 years of her coming and going in and out of the relationship as she seemed fit always keeping me on the line. And now that I am finally standing my ground and not taking her back and she has tried for the past two years and still is still trying even though she has done even remarried. I feel like there's an emotional block, a wall so to speak, to where I can't connect with anyone else it's like I can't seem to fall in love with anyone else. I don't know how to get past this but we do have a child together and I can't completely cut her from my life as the child does live with me.
I'm so 😞 so sorry you're dealing with this.
@@starlingswallow thanks. It is a lot to take on alone
The part about supressed negative hides the suppressed negative is true in my experience...it was only after I processed my trauma, got over my anger, I was able to empathize and have compassion for my Narcissist. I didn’t communicate this to the narcissist obviously because she wouldn’t be able to handle the self-reflection. The compassion allowed me to forgive.
Positive memories began coming up and I realized she did try to be a good mother and there were food moments.
The beautiful memory you shared of your daughter brought happy tears to my eyes… thank you for sharing 🌻
I’m going through this right now. Had to block both my parents out of my life. I just had a baby (6 months pp) and all of my traumatic childhood SA memories have come back. I’ve been able to put all the puzzle pieces together. It’s hard to believe some of these memories actually happened, however I do remember how I felt at the time of the trauma. When I get these flashbacks, it feels like it’s happening all over again. I am working with a therapist and going to start EMDR soon. I’ve also been journaling, meditating, and doing self help workbooks. It’s helping tremendously ❤ thank you for speaking on this, glad I found this video.
Thankfully... i actually have some few good memories.
But the bad ones outcounts the good ones for sure.
Sometimes when I walk in park I start to remember the things but back home cannot get to them again
I think I needed to watch this, I get exacerbated when I try to talk to mum about the past, a typical response was "I can't remember". My dad was a narcissist (dead now), my mum and brothers were no saints, either. My earliest childhood memory was 5.
Thank you so much Michelle. You are helping me a lot.
Thank you Michelle, I just thought that was only physical health issue. And now I see what is the real problem
Thanks again. I don’t remember anything from my childhood except for bad stuff. I’m curious but also scared of knowing because I think I was sexually abused and i do have memory of that. It’s a crappy existence. Not gonna lie.
This is amazing Michelle. There are other people out there who have also discovered this rewiring process in order to get positive emotions back, with very similar processes involving repetition of positive memories or gratitude lists. I recently came upon this idea myself, as I have been aware for a long time now thay I haven't been feeling much but I was also not facing any of my negative emotions. I had to come to realize that all of my emotions were valid.
Yes!
I'm 53 and whenever we get together for family gatherings my younger sister, 10 months younger, will go down memory lane. I seem to always say I don't remember that. She always replies you don't remember anything. How sad.
10 mo younger. Your poor mom didn't get to enjoy raising a new born cuz she got pregnant again. That explains something
Thankyou Michelle. You are so accurate in all you said here . It gives me hope...
I know you said in the past you can’t record a breathwork session for privacy reasons. But could you record yourself doing a breathwork demonstration for those that can’t join your official sessions? With no one else there? Is that possible?
Dear Michele
Well you did it , you made me cry .thankyou for this video , and all those other ones that speak to our heart ! The fact you went through all this yourself, makes you able to explain it to us who have not had your training ,and counseling. But I have to say , you have a gift , to speak to us in a
Way we get it , at least I do , your illustrations make it so clear , I have learned so much from you ! Thankyou! For helping us to take control of our lives , we are not alone in this ! I feel more confident, knowing I’ll be alright one day !
You touched my heart Michele, you are making a difference! Thanks again dear friend
My mother points out how I only remember the bad stuff, as if I choose to remember negative things, and I explained to her that we remember what has an emotional impact on us instead of the day-to-day stuff that we don't have to think about and figure out. She seems to think I'm wrong for remembering it, but maybe SHE was wrong for doing it in the first place. So, how do we make the positive memories show up in our mind, if we can't remember them?
“We only remember what has an emotional impact” Thank you for comment. When narcissistic mother points out my negativity. I can tell myself it is what the brain does when you are abused and never shown love. I am perfectly fine - my brain works exactly as it should.Thank you.
Wow Michele another amazing video that has answered a lot of questions thanks so much x
The struggle to think about something better can take your breath away And you are an inspiration Michele To get it back to where it belongs
Thank you for your beautiful heartfelt story I believe it opens many gateways for others in troubled places You are Amazing as those wonderful expressions 🕊peace joy love and happiness God bless you and your family ♥️🙏Thank you Michele!
I have this. I don’t remember anything 😕
Same girl. I have one memory that was a traumatic event but everything else before my adoption is non-existent. I was adopted later in life..
@@ivymarie. I’m so sorry. I hope one day soon we can heal 🌷
@@happymomXO we will, we are survivors 💗
You are just so amazing. Your calm voice and hopefulness. I watch you all the time and so does my sister. It is helpful and I am trying to rewire it - going to a therapist through my insurance. I would love to join your class but I can't afford it. But totally glad you are here. .
the story with your daughter is very cute! 💗
I personally don't remember a almoat anything except the hardships , abuse physical / mental torture which was on the same level of physical prison torture "burning, whipping broken bones" and so on. And i never even lived in a place where i could address it. So i've always chose to cope with it and live with it eventhough i don't think i should.
But thankfully i can't even tolerate hurting a rat so at least u had kindness instead of anger.
Well said Michelle!
Michele! It just occurred to me, in the same way that you see people suffering from depersonalization (or brain fog) and memory loss after narcissistic abuse, did you ever suffer from having delayed reactions while (and even after) you were living with the narcissists in your life? For instance, besides the usual “I wish I had said this or that” after an argument you “lost”, or after an successful attempt of manipulation by the narc, what I have had delayed reactions with is things like two-and-two coming together in my head about the narc but years after, when it was too late, I’ll give you an example: my narcissistic ex had, not a crush, but THE HOTS for one of our coworkers, and in spite of how noticeable it was, I never picked up on it and it never occurred to me until years after the narcissist divorced me. Mind you, the narc didn’t leave me for this coworker, though, but I still find it fascinating that I never picked up on it until so late!
Incredibly helpful
I literally have no good memories of my mom. I was just thinking about that. I still have nightmares about her and I’m 40 now
Thank you for explaining this so simply. This is very powerful knowledge, thank you for helping provide us these necessary tools to overcome and grow/heal from abuse that seems so elusive.❤️
Great video! Very helpful. Also sorry if it’s weird to say but you don’t look old enough to have a 19 year old! Lol you look great 😊 thank you for your insightful videos. As someone with PTSD who grew up with a narcissistic father, this is such a helpful information for me!
Michelle...you could take the transcripts from these videos and turn them into a book
How could I have lived so many years and have so much blocked out
Thank you!!
very helpful!
No it’s not I am just too hurt and so attached to them still as a child I am really trying to recover and help myself out of those shitty things just in general, ny parents were super trauma bonded or even narcissistic all after a deep chronic shame as such chronic shame or deep shame or deep fear of abandonment as such which is super hard
Thank you Michele.
Big thank you for letting me know that there's nothing wrong w me. It was my brain's response to save me.
I really want to join your masterclass but in our currency, it's way too expensive and unaffordable for me as I am a student only. Please help somehow. 🙏
I wonder if being empath is related to kinestesic memory.
I do need this work to do but not sure being able to join Michelle class
i was talking to my mom about this memory loss thing and told her its getting hard for in studies due to this and she replies confidently that: when u get beat up by me 4 to 5 times then you wont forget anything💔
This is me right now
why do people want to hurt others? Life is too short - I have no idea why they do this. It's weird.
Thank u Michelle
So I guess that brain-ER danger is the new stranger danger lol funny and all, but I couldn’t have relate more to what you were explaining about the brain becoming so predominantly focused on the negative once you’ve been through NA!
How to tell counselors what you need what kind of therapy is it called
You may want to find a counselor that's familiar with complex ptsd/childhood trauma and/or narcissistic abuse recovery
very interesting. thanks
Michelle: Do you know any specialists on CPTSD/narcissistic abuse in Argentina?
To meet with in person - no I'm sorry - but Ada de Hoyas on TH-cam is from Mexico but I think may live in Argentina (I could be wrong) but she works with people online
@@FromSurvivingToThriving Thanks, I'll try to contact her. And thank you, your videos have helped me a lot. You give me hope whenever I feel this is what I got and there's nothing I can do but edure it. Thanks a lot!
@@florenciaa.1017 She took my coaching certification program - she focuses on helping people in the spanish community!!
I can't remember things
Does this relate with parental alienation as well?? Where the child thinks the alienator is all perfect and all positive memories of target parent seems to be erased and replaced with negative false memories?
Do you do sessions online? I’m from Saudi Arabia.
hi michele does antidepressants work for emotional regulation when you have been dysregulated for a very long time?
Hi - you should definitely speak to your doctor about this =D but one thing I can say - antidepressants can help you with the symptoms you are experiencing.... but that's all they an do is provide symptom management. They do not help you overcome the dysregulation - but for many people that's a huge help. They are able to calm the symptoms enough to begin doing the inner work of re-regulating the nervous system.
How did u know I'm a driver? Lol. I was raised by my narcissistic mother without a father...I'm single because I would always introduce my girlfriend to my mom and they would never return after that my sister and brother were the first to leave and I stayed taking care of my mom cuz she's has multiple medical complications and I'm not gonna abandon here but she's still the same and I'm still single and I don't feel worthy trying to get another girlfriend cuz I know they'll leave me when they meet my mom. To much to type. I'm not even .2 what I really wanna say and no there was no sexual abuse we were not that messed up
my memories start at about 12 years old.... go figure.... yes my parents are narcs