My temple marriage in 1978 was one of the worst days of my life. I grew up SO excited to get married in the temple. I married a convert and an RM. Of course his parents could not attend since they weren't LDS. In those days one had to go through the washing and anointings naked under a poncho. This was changed in 1990 to the way they do it now which as I understand it one dresses in their garments and temple clothes first but someone who has gone through since then can certainly correct me if I'm wrong. Then I went through my endowment and THEN got sealed in marriage. It was a LONG day. The officiator was so old his hands were shaking and we were afraid he would pitch over the altar or onto one of us! He called me by the wrong name also. (This became a joke between us over the years that we weren't "really married" because my husband married someone named Lorraine). My husband looked like a baker in the hat. I was still so traumatized by the washing and anointing earlier in the day and the endowment I couldn't even focus on the sealing. I cried all the way to the reception and was furious with my mother and my husband for not giving me a heads up in advance. I understand much has changed since 1978. We left the church in 1992 due to the truth claims. We had no internet and did all of our research in the library. Only looked at church sources also. No "anti-Mormon" literature in those days. Best decision I ever made. My family is all LDS. Anyway it is therapeutic for me to share this and I know it's long!
I’m so sorry your wedding was so traumatic. That should’ve never happened. I hope you’re doing well; I can’t imagine the courage and strength it took to leave then.
@@ardenpeters4386 You are absolutely right and I did correct him. In those days it would have been EXTREMELY unusual for a woman to be endowed before they were married. Women waited until their wedding day and had their endowment and a sealing in one day. I did have two friends who were missionaries and they were endowed before their mission. But it was not the "norm."
I was a convert to the church here in Brazil and oh my gosh... My husband's family is all from the church and they never told me anything, neither did my leaders. I felt so shocked when I left the temple, I got physically sick. Thank you for giving me this platform, I felt so alone. Thank you so much 🙏
Hey! How are you? Im from brazil as well and my current boyfriend is a active member of the church. He's preparing for his 2 year mission and thia saturday hes going to the temple in Rio to the his investidura. I dont really know what to do. His family and friends (and sometimes a little bit him) keeps pressuring me to get baptised but just knowing all this stuff from the church it creeps me out. If u r willing to i would love to get ur contact to hear more about ur story. I really love my boyfriend and i want to marry him but not under this circunstances. I dont rlly know what to do.
@@Tiamarylnhey girl. Don't do It, I know they make us feel so loved an all, but after we are in It It completely changes. Look up the temple ceremonies and what they truly believe (overall and about us, women). I cannot even begin to tell you how traumatizing It ALL was. Not to mention they live for the church, so If you love him and wish to live together some day you have to make It clear that he has to love you for you, and not expect you to become the stay at home meek wife and mother the church wants you to.
28 years ago when my wife and I were married, the vows also included a section for my wife to agree to love, honor and "obey" me. There was nothing that mentioned "obey" in my vows. The ceremony came to a screeching halt when my wife told the officiator to repeat that last bit but leave the word "obey" out. Everyone's eyes were as big as dinner plates but I couldn't help but giggle a little bit because I thought the mere concept of my wife needing to obey me was ridiculous! The officiator turned to me and asked if I was okay with this. I told him I was more than okay with it. It's nice to see that part at least is no longer part of the ceremony. Loved the video, there are hundreds of thousands of members and ex members who I am sure are right there with you on many of the problematic parts of the Mormon Temple marriage.
It sounds a bit odd and a lot theatrical . ME! I’d be laughing so hard they’d have to drag me out by my heels , cackling all the way. It sounds like show and tell . I don’t know the theology but the couple is there to marry each other and everything else is witnessing
@@WatchingwaitingG2D No skin off my back if you don't believe the LDS Temple marriage had the word "Obey" in the woman's vows... There used to be Blood Oath convenants in the temple endowment ceremony as well (capitol punishment offence for revealing temple ordanences etc. removed in 1990) but that was even before my time.
In Scotland 'hand-fasting' ceremonies are popular. I think it originates from old Celtic traditions and is beautiful. A faith element can be incorporated into it as well if you want this.
The whole temple experience was pretty traumatic for me at 18. It was one of the things that started me towards leaving the church. Thanks for sharing.
@@alyssadgrenfell My older brother basically had a breakdown his first (and only) year at BYU Idaho from learning more about Mormon doctrine and history and losing his faith, hard. I didn't understand at the time why he seemed so scared of our religion all of a sudden (I was like 13). Took me years to realize that he wasn't the crazy one
I'm happy to have a missionary finished being a missionary,and Im free to make the right decisions,and be completed with my "True Love"and we all have that all of us!!!Just search,and search or find,and find because there it is,at the end of that road so don't give up brothers,and Sister's...we are all here helping each other to grow more,and love one another,and spread the love so that we all find peace,and understanding,and respectfully given to all of us so that we all be saved by our Powerfully "Savior" Amen
@@UTTX Brother Kyler some of it is a amazing experience to me that being a missionary there is a true Miracles and be brave to fully achieved all of it in my Time!!! AMEN
@@UTTXIt seems many women don't seem to get the "cut your throat" style Freemasonry temple ceremony. Maybe it's because traditional Freemasonry was only geared towards dudes. 🤔
As someone who left the LDS church as soon as I was able to at age eighteen before doing my endowment, I really appreciate these videos. Whenever I've asked my Mormon parents what goes on in the temple, they've always been really cryptic. It's good to finally get clear answers
@shallnot6043 why isn't it? A promise made by parties who basically had NO IDEA what has actually going to happen is extremely uncomfortable. I was actually scared of the temple since I had NO idea what went on in there besides the few rooms I had permission to go in. I would feel extremely afraid and uncomfortable if a political organization was this secretive, or if an educational institution was this secretive. Why is it okay when a religious institution is? It's not, it's creepy
I was a convert in 1972. Went to the temple in 1974. My husband and I had been married already for about 4 years when we were sealed in the temple for Time and Eternity. I think that was the beginning of the end for me the ceremony where my husband learned my secret name but I couldn't know his secret name. Another thing that was very disappointing was the fact that my secret name was probably the most ordinary woman's name in the world . I thought I would be getting a special name that was just for me. Something new. I also heard later that everyone on the same day got the same special name? After 7 years in the LDS Church I got divorced and left the church. I felt my ex-husband used the priesthood to bully me. It was a relief to be free of the church and my ex . Also the special handshake and aprons was weird to me. Felt like a Mason ceremony. 😮
@@UTTXthis isn’t normal. Look, I get having standards. Lots of churches are not going to just let a bride wear an inappropriate immodest dress. Good, I say. But come on. You have to know this is not normal. She showed her dress. It’s white.
@@andrewfarrugia6072 I went to a Catholic wedding once (that's 3 hours of my life I'll never get back...) and they took a few moments for silent prayer for those loved ones who have "gone on before us." Yeah ... joyful and happy !!!
This is a really good breakdown. Thank you for mentioning that the husband gets to know his brides new name but the wife NEVER gets to know her husbands. This was one of the first things I asked after we left. We laughed so hard cause he had forgotten mine and asked for it too.
You guys think this is all about "feminism" and "women's rights" etc., right? You don't understand! I'm a convert to the LDS church and if I can understand what this is all about, YOU can, too. But you just want to think that Mormon men "hate women" or that women are vicimized or something, right? So frustrating that you don't get it.
@@Cindybin46I have Mormon family members, and i don’t think the women are victimized or that their husbands hate women. The objection is to the idea that women are seen as less-than: the man is called directly by God, right? He has a relationship, a direct connection to his maker. The woman doesn’t; she has to be called up or brought in by her husband because…? It all points to a sense that women don’t get that connection with God directly, instead they have to go through a gatekeeper, her husband. Please don’t pretend that thousands of years women haven’t been seen and treated as less than men. The problem isn’t feminism or thinking Mormon men are bad; the problem is denying a believing woman her own personal, _direct_ connection to God and saying she only gets resurrected via her husband calling her in.
Good for you girl! I live in Utah and work in a therapeutic practice. I have so many women and men i work with so this is great information and provides really good insight into what happens to people and my ability to understand what is behind some of their experiences
Hey, no one should be afraid to say it out loud - when I, and many of my friends, took out our own endowments in 1977, we had that same feeling - is this the same church?? It was a shocker. And that, my friend, is the beauty of the restored gospel! This is such a dynamic church! I, and my wife have been a temple attenders for over 40 years now. We never fall asleep, we stay alert and attentive. The Lord has spoken to me through the endowment many times. And now with all the changes it's like - what is he trying to tell me now? I love it! I wish I could feel the same way, blessings to you
@@triciaismyname6068 if you go to our regular church is pretty boring. We are told we don’t have symbolism, etc. then you go to the temple and it’s all symbolism. It’s the polar opposite of everything we were taught. It felt like I was lied to. I do think they prep people now before and maybe it’s less jarring.
The fact that as we are raised as women in the church dreaming of our wedding. Every level of YW marriage is uplifted and you are made to be excited for the day it finally happens. I remember as a Mia Maid we made "marriage capsuls" and thinking back now, NONE of it was about the actual day. How distressing it must be to go to the temple and get this????? I am so happy I lucked out on leaving at 18. I do wish I had had your book back then. Healing from religious trauma is a hard bitter road but I would never want it to have happened another way. Life is so much kinder and joyful outside the Mormon church.
I must say THANK YOU!!! My family left the Mormon Church before I was born. As you can imagine, I have multiple family members -- and they are still in the church, including Bishops. As I was growing up, many of my cousins did their missions and had temple weddings (of which we of course could not attend).... I am so pleased you are doing this presentation -- I am 75 now and over the years my friends have had a hard time believing the explanations I would share ... I will be sharing this posting. You have done a great job -- very clear and concise. Keep up the good work!! 👍
Happy for you and your husband to be free. I was raised Mormon from an infant and left in my early 20's. My dad wasn't a Mormon, but the rest of family is. When i became a Christian 25 years ago, I've been rejected most of the time, even taken out of the will! I'll take God's peace and love any day over "being worthy". God bless you dear girl.
Sorry, there's no breaking any kind of cycle. The work of Christ's church just keeps moving forward. The church has now past the 17 million mark. A couple of weeks ago, 15 more new temples were announced. Alyssa is trying to paint the most negative spin she possibly can. Why? I know not why. Is there money to be made trying to discredit the church? I don't know. What I do know is that she puts a lot of time and effort into her work. What is her reward? I keep waiting for her to announce she has found a new and better way to serve God, and to serve her fellow man, but she doesn't. She only continues to relive a painful past and through dirt on it. Here are a couple of short messages about the temple, and the exciting work of Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father in our day today, not the ancient past, but today! ... th-cam.com/video/Fd8tVXN9y6Q/w-d-xo.htmlsi=2JnlZL2UI2CEZA8C th-cam.com/video/K0WxLdb-Jok/w-d-xo.htmlsi=eym67M3TgpboP0ka th-cam.com/video/HX9K42SnQQQ/w-d-xo.htmlsi=95XS9f0CX8WJeFgc
The whole white wedding dress wasn't even a thing until Queen Victoria wore it for her own wedding. And it wasn't about purity. It was about flaunting that she had the money to spend on an outfit she was only going to wear once. It made her a fashion icon, of course because she set a trend for all brides in the western world. But people who push the purity idea are wrong. But that's what happens when a precedent is set. We keep the precedent but forget the actual reason. Then we treat it like it's something sacred instead of mere coincidence and treat anyone who doesn't follow the rules like an agent of pure evil 😅
Yes. White was also the customary funeral/mourning color until her husband died, after which she wore only black until her own death...except for her Jubilee...
She actually wore her wedding dress many times! In her time, the wedding dress was just the nicest thing in your closet. Obviously, being royal, she got a dress specifically for her wedding. She chose white as it would be the best for showing the intricacies of the lace on her gown. But she wore it many times, in the christenings of her children, and even her son Leopolds wedding.
@@stacy6994People have made the white wedding dress about purity in the years since Victoria, but prior to her it was absolutely not the normal or expected thing for anyone to wear at their wedding. The wealthy had new dresses made just for their weddings (maybe white, but not necessarily) but everyone else just wore their best set of clothes (likely the same outfit they typically wore to church).
I like learning about different religions, and before your videos I never knew anything about these secret parts of mormonism. Thank you for sharing! I am impressed by your ability and willingness to share these difficult things. I am sure you are having a very large positive impact on the world.
My half sister grew up Mormon. None of her family could watch her get married. None. Our father could not walk her down the aisle. Her sisters could not be her bridesmaids. That was my first indication that this was a cult. If your “church” is not open to all, it is not a church. When her son and daughter got married, we didn’t even bother to travel across the country as we couldn’t see them get married, and the reception for the one was less than two hours with just tea sandwiches. I can see why outsiders cannot witness this….they will probably be laughing their asses off over the ridiculous costumes. I’m glad you realized the amount of brainwashing you had been exposed to and were able to get away from it. Another incident that happened was when our dad died, he was buried back here in Ohio. My sister wanted the ceremony to be at the LDS building in our area. She asked me to say a prayer. I did it for her because I love her, but, I wish I had said no as it was so against my morals to be in that building.
@@alyssadgrenfell I have Mormon friends, though never understood all the secrets, now I better understand it all. Thank you for your informative videos. On a side note I really first started understanding it was really a ‘religion’ when (many years ago, maybe 28) my husband had a few months of contract work in Ogden UT. Since we homeschooled our 3 kids, we joined him there. I was impressed by how kid friendly the whole city was, and how there was even a kids Muesum (first one I ever saw). However I began to investigate deeper to understand it is a cult. I really feel bad for our friends still in that ‘church’ as they are very intelligent and free thinking….
I had a coworker that gave her baby up for adoption. She was mormon but wasnt active. The adoptive mom asked her to come to their familys sealing. I told her not to go that it would be so painful. She went anyway and they made her stay outside the temple as the adoptive mom went inside and was sealed to her baby for all eternity. Not only was it low key shaming it was a slap in the face to her. She called me weeping. I could not believe the adoptive mom pressued her to go to that.
It is intended to be mean and cruel. My only child got married in the temple it was so painful and they loved seeing our pain. Mormonism is disgusting and as evil as satanism. May the rot in HELL.
That makes me sick. I am adopted, so I was sealed to my parents , as were my sister and brother. I can't imagine my parents asking the biological mother to attend. That is so gross. I am so sorry for your friend.
I was that girl. Who had to cancel her temple wedding after confessing to her bishop some things. Then had to wait a year. Honestly, a blessing in disguise because I had a regular ceremony and a year of a somewhat normal life before going through the temple. I threw up in the days following my endowment. Got sealed anyway because I honestly was afraid of not going to the celestial kingdom with my husband. Took 13 more years for me to fully leave. This was very therapeutic, thank you!
What happens if the sex is bad? You're a virgin, you get married "for time and all eternity," then you go to bed with this man and you're stuck with him forever but the sex SUCKS. What then?
Unfortunately in the mormon religion and several other religions, it’s strictly about purity and sex is about having a family and babies, not so much about pleasure. Even if the sex isn’t good, there wouldn’t be anything to compare it to if those getting married are virgins. I think most people just stay quiet in their marriages if this is the outcome. Its super sad.
@worldadventuretravel there was a TV show on tlc about mormon woman marrying like 50 men and divorcing them the next day bc of bad sex 😅😅😅 would be easier to leave the church and find yourself a good lover...
I grew up in the Mormon church and quit when I was 18. Even though my parents and my sisters were married in the Temple, I've never been told what happened during a temple marriage. This has been very eye opening for me. Thanks.
I married into the LDS church. Never in my life have I been so disappointed when I received an invitation to a wedding reception but not the wedding of a nephew. Jesus never turned away a sinner. No matter the reason for a person to be in church, we are to take this gifted moment and give it to the Lord to open their hearts while in Gods house. This is something I will never agree with that only the worthy can come into the Mormon chapel.
A chapel and the temple are totally different places. The reason only close family and friends are invited to the sealing in the temple is because the sealing rooms aren't big enough for hundreds of people. Also, a temple sealing is for the couple, not the guests.
@@shortcakegurl5187Her little sister and her older sister weren’t allowed to be in the wedding, so it has nothing to do about closest family. Jesus himself did his first miracle at a strangers wedding.
I really love when you do these longer videos going more in-depth about your knowledge and experience! I know everyone loves the shorts and tiktoks but just so you know, THIS content is also highly loved. I feel like I learn so much.
That is so sweet of you to say and I've definitely been wanting to branch out into longer content! Now that I have this great equipment my plan is to make one longer video per week! So it's coming!
@@alyssadgrenfellWell done! As a brand new subscriber I can tell you that I’m impressed with your voice level (smooth) , volume (perfect), intelligence (tops) and clarity (terrific). All of that will have me coming back to hear your content. Have a great day!
@@alyssadgrenfellwhy did you fall away? Not your answer you give to the internet... the real reason. What was it that offended you so badly that you want others to feel offended too? Why? I may not know much about you... but I know the truth. You dont believe me? I FEEL THE TRUTH. you cannot argue with something so personal... feelings, revelation. Though no one may look at this comment and chage their life because of it, I would have you try again, with an open mind and an open heart. Is the church really so cruel? Is it not so perfect? Or are your opinions just inspired by hatred? Have you felt the truth of the gospel? have you TRIED? I know Ive made the effort, and reaped the rewards. I still am. I will never let myself be overcome by the world. Rather, I will overcome it.
As a Lutheran Christian woman, I find the marriage aspect of Mormonism so interesting and so sad. In traditional Christianity, marriage is something in the life that does not carry over into heaven. Marriage is a gift and blessing that God gives us in this life, but it will not change our heavenly life. There is an understanding that men and women take on different roles in a marriage, but both the man and women are fundamentally equal before Christ. As such, both widows and widowers are permitted to remarry on equal footing, since we know that in heaven, we will neither be married nor given in marriage. We enter the marriage as equals, because we are both equal before God in the end.
Loved reading this. I was searching through to see if anyone commented on the Truth of our Heavenly life, that of spiritual life and was so grateful to see how you beautifully shared. And to all who read, may the Lord continue to lead you to the Truth, whole Truth and nothing but the Truth of God in the fulfillment of Christ. Thank you for these testimonials of living experiences and for helping to guide people out of the darkness of man-made and misunderstood religious teachings and into the light of relationship with our Heavenly Father.
Yea, I’m Lutheran and I don’t want to be married and I really don’t want to be married in heaven by the time they said you might be divorced in heaven , my response would be hell ya 🎉🎉🎉 let’s party . I would be ushered out in 0 seconds flat .
@@laneneal3510 I certainly understand that perception of religious-ness being controlling and the mere CONCEPT of marriage has grown somewhat confusing through the Ages, but if we broke it all a part a bit more and just paired it to the many thing our Lord says, we might recognize that FINE LINE between Relationship and Religiousness. One is about simple RELATING more intimately [ 1:1] ... while the other is a more CORPORATE way of ordering a more controlled way because it's assembly-based. Any time something becomes more corporal ... more structured as in incorporated, it has to them PLACE more controlling regulations. God simply wanted to RELATE personally ... but because we all relate to God very personally, it's HARD to explain those personal WAYS. So the global church tends to DEVISE general rules ... and yes, it tends to control the thought flow ... but it's ALSO why Jesus reminds up to ALSO keep things set apart and intimate. The Word [ marriage ] is about uniting two into One. People tend to relate that only to human beings ... but anything can become married. Two train cars become married when they are COUPLED together. Flour and oil marries to form dough. In HEAVEN ... its non-material ... its simply a WORD. A CONCEPT in and of itself. We Spirit Beings hold many marriages down here in that MATERIAL world, and I'm not talking formal matrimony. We BLEND our works all the time and sometimes ... we actually, formally commit relationally to one other person. Marriage is just a WORD that can REFER to many things. Release it from meaning only one thing, and everything else in scripture starts to make more sense. Be blessed.
I grew up in the Mormon church but my mom, siblings and I left when I was in high school. I was never excited about getting married. So much of my family isn’t Mormon, so inherently I knew a temple wedding would cause conflict and hurt feelings. So my association with getting married was always negative. I didn’t realize how ingrained this was until my husband and I started talking about getting married and I dreaded the idea of having a wedding despite not being Mormon anymore. My husband and I had a courthouse wedding a few years ago. Our son was the only one in attendance. It was perfect for my level of comfort but I’m also a little sad that the concept of a wedding was ruined for me. Might have to do a vow renewal someday if it feels right
@@sarahnaugle8124 my husband and i are doing that since we got married during covid and i am very excited, doing it on halloween so it's basically just a big costume party XD
How wonderful that you and your husband left the church together. I have heard about some couples that have one person that is determined to leave and the other person too scared to leave. Blessings to you and your husband. I really liked your video. What a strange way to get married...
I am not a coffee drinker but looking forward to the Rapture and my eternal life in heaven, leaving this wretched messed up world behind. I left man-made religion years ago for a relationship with God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. You must be born again. John 3:3 reads: Jesus replied, “Very truly I tell you, no one can see the kingdom of God unless they are born again.”
I totally feel you, girl. I was a Jehovah's Witness and I wasn't allowed to have my own sister (not a Witness) or my best friend (also not a Witness) in my wedding party. I'm still traumatized by this 30 years later.
Please don't let such thoughts corrode your life. I introduced my best friend to her eventual husband, testified in their behalf to the priest who married them, and couldn't be a member of their wedding party because I wasn't Catholic I attended their nuptial mass and they knew I was there for them. Later, in 1976, I became a Witness. When my college sweetheart (not a Witness) and I decided to marry, I understood and accepted we couldn't be married in the Kingdom Hall, so we exchanged vows in front of his eldest brother's fireplace in the presence of both our families. It was only one day out of over 33 loving years we had together. Your wedding day was just a beginning. Think about it.
You are so well spoken, and you have exposed the strange beliefs of a cult that so many people are not aware of. In spite of the awkwardness, the trauma, the strangeness of these rituals that you had to endure, you seem to be so "balanced" and I can tell you want to reveal these oddities to people because you CARE! Thank you. Have a beautiful life with your new found freedom
My grandmother was a young widow. My grandpa died tragically while theu still had 3 minor children between the ages of 8 and 17. She was didnt want to live her life "without companionship" so she intentionally remarried someone she didnt love but liked as a friend because she was unwilling to be sealed to anyone else and she thought if she loved the person she married it would be an insult to his memory. When that marriage fell apart she remarried again to someone that she did not love again. That man divorced her when she got cancer. Both of these men were also widowers and mormon. The second husband stayed close to our family as a good friend. I didnt even know she was married a third time until I was a teenager and my aunt and bio mom told me how traumatizing these experianced were to their family.
@@stacy6994 I dont disagree. She made a lot of really poor choices and thought processes she had in grief. It was a choice she made because she was unwilling to get a temple divorce. She personaly felt it was a disrespect to her first husband whom she loved very deeply. She believed love was eternal and if she loved the next husband and refused to temple divorce her first husband it was a disrespect to the 2nd husband. Better to marry someone you think will be an envestment in helping raise your children and split househlld expense. After her 3rd marriage ended she found an apprciation for romance novels and moved in with her children who were all adults by that point and was overall much happier. All this happened before I was born. I learned about all this decades after the fact but apparently she was very open about her motives at the time. Grief makes people do ridiculous things.
Coming from a long line of Mormons, my ancestors coming across with Joseph Smith, I truly believe Mormonism is pure straight a cult! I chose at age 13 to become Catholic. My Mother was not a practicing LDS so it made it easy for me to start my catechism and on to Baptism, First Holy Communion and Confirmation. At 67, I don’t claim any religion. Jesus is my savior and I know he has my back.
It's such manipulation! Of course we'll be with our loved ones and family in hr next life! Doesn't require a temple ceremony! Tithing was never meant to be 10% of income (by changed it just weeks after he took over), and it and the WofW were never meant to be requirements to enter. That was added in Utah.
My parents were not married in the Temple. As a child, the boys my age used to corner me at church and tell me how my family would never be together in heaven, my parents were sinners even though my mother came from a prominent LDS family - which made it worse (and my father smoked a pipe in public!) One of them said he heard his mother tell other women that my mother was married in the blue dress!! None of us knew what that meant and I didn’t figure it out until I was in High School, when I was disgusted by it. I spent time in other children’s homes and saw how their parents interacted, particularly how the father treated the mother. My father and mother SHOWED me what love was by the way they lived together. They were partners, they respected each other, and they loved each other. My father worshiped my mother. I was married in my own home, standing in the same place my parents had been married, in a dress I chose myself that I loved. My Mama was with me, alone, getting me ready. I came down our long staircase to Mendelssohn’s “Bridal Suite” with my sister as my Maid of Honor and four of my best friends as Bride’s Maids. I took my Daddy’s arm and he walked me down the aisle. I was married by a Presbyterian Minister who had counseled us for several months and let us write our own vows which were personal, meaningful and exactly what we wanted. When the minister asked, “who gives this woman in marriage?” My father stood up and said, “her mother and I, and by her own choice as we have taught her.” (This, in 1974) After the ceremony we went together back up the aisle to Wagner’s “Wedding March” while my friends, my parents friends, my sorority sisters, threw rose petals. I know five - FIVE - women who have told me that after their temple wedding they went into the bathroom and cried. One of them said she threw up she was so upset. Three of the five are still active members. What you are doing here is a great service. I know how difficult it must be. Please do renew your vows, I think it will help, you deserve it.
My cousin spent 8 months exercising to fit into my grandmother’s (also Mormon) wedding dress. When she went to the temple, it was rejected because over time, it had diminished to an ivory cream color due to aging. So she was stuck with a generic, ill fitting glorified nightgown. But, hey, it was stark white! Because that’s all that counts. So much for being “all about family.”
In the U.K. Mormon Temple Weddings aren’t acknowledged, so it’s a civil wedding in the morning and then they travel up to the temple, for the temple marriage same afternoon. It’s great a non members and inactive members can be part of the day.
Hi, I want to thank to thank you for being so open and honest. I left the Mormons 31yrs ago and I’m 66 now, (to be honest I was excommunicated) but I have NEVER been able to talk about the temple proceedings to my husband. Basically I still had the fear of retribution but thanks to you I finally realised I could talk to him about it all. You are a blessing. xx
My grandmother wasn’t allowed inside at any of my cousins weddings-but she could come to my civil ceremony! That honestly makes me mad that she couldn’t go. She’s so sweet and has been on her own for a long time, and I know she would’ve loved to have been included.
I am not Mormon nor would I ever consider joining the church. But I give you a lot of kudos for coming out and explaining much of what takes place that many non-Mormons don’t know about. You were really doing a service to the community for those that are considering joining the church so they have a heads up as to what lies ahead for them. Good luck for your continuing channel and book.
Girl. If ANY couple deserves a LOVE FILLED HAPPY DAY in a dress you LOVE… it’s y’all. Y’all are SO brave to leave the cult and go do your own thing… bless you and y’all’s wonderful life.❤
I would be verry happy to be blessed only with my husband with patriarche because it is for eternity the convenant is for the both of you and make a special reception with the family.
My husband and his family were all Mormons until my husband was 14. It was a real shirt show when they all left (he has three siblings). His Dad was a BYU professor. My husband has an older brother and two younger siblings, so it was a little complicated, but they are such a close family even 30 years later. I am going to buy your book and surprise my husband! I think he will find your story so interesting and get a kick out of it (he is totally fine not being a Mormon anymore). Good for you, doing what you need to do to process your experiences! I am glad you are still together.
Fascinating! Thank you for sharing for those of us who know so little about being Mormon. You are so brave to have chosen to live your life as you want to.
And you still don't know, this is someone who has left the LDS church and needs to be okay with that, so the more she or he can try to disqualify others from having interest they feel better about their decision. Talk to some happy LDS people.
@@donnavaughn9409 why? your religion dictates that you do not discuss any distasteful aspect. that means the only honest info your going to get is from an ex mormon
Ohh, hon. Congratulations on getting out! My mom converted to the LDS church the summer after my freshman year of high school. Even though I was never baptized, she made me go to that exhausting three-hour service every Sunday despite getting no sleep and having 8+ hours of homework on the weekends. She sent me to girl's camp every summer. She enforced the Mormon dating and dress standards on me. The only social activities I was allowed to attend were Mormon youth events at the local stake. But out of curiosity and a desire to belong, I gave my testimony on that one Sunday a month. I took that awful, sticky Wonderbread and water communion. I even (LOL) did baptisms for the dead (nobody remembered I wasn't baptized after awhile). I thought our local ward was very kind for the most part, but much of the doctrine seemed hinky. Because of my mom I STILL get calls, texts, and invitations from the Relief society everywhere I go no matter how many times I move. Mainly I was stuck on "But I don't want 16 kids." "I don't know if I want to get married." "Why would God throw out billions of his own creation because they weren't LDS?" and all the other stuff that doesn't stand up to rational scrutiny. *And don't even get me started on how creepy it is that they dictate your underwear.* Decades later, there is no way any God would insist on only one way of worshiping him/her. Love is unconditional. The church has it wrong.
I followed the approved plan by the church. Married a returned missionary in the temple. Remained faithful to him, had a large family, note; I don't regret the children. They are my joy. Stayed active, went according to the "Plan of Happiness". Fast forward... We're divorced, I'm free of the cult, my children are out. We're happier now than before. The critera that is given to find a mate and have a family is skewed to the benefit of a patriarchal corporation. I have told my children to find someone, if they choose to be coupled, who lights you up, who you feel safe with. A better critera in my estimation.
I could be mistaken, but I think I remember reading that Joseph Smith who started Mormonism tried to become a Mason before starting his own organization
Nine weeks after Joseph Smith became a Master Mason, he introduced the rites that exist in the temple today. A few words here and there have been changed but otherwise they're a blatant copy of the first three Masonic degree ceremonies.
I am all but out of the church, the only thing that remains is my member ID #. I haven’t been to Sunday services for months. I have been a temple worker. I’ve not worn my garments for a long time, basically I only wore them for about a month after being endowed. I have prayed and asked God to forgive and release me of any covenants made in the temple. Thank you for speaking openly about this subject. The last straw for me was a hymn that was sung one Sunday and I’d never heard it before but realized it was singing praises to J Smith and I’m sorry praises are for Jesus Christ only 🙏🤍
I'm so sorry. I'm sorry you feel that way. If I were a temple worker... I can only imagine the blessings you could reap! The Spirit you would feel! I would personally never pass up the opportunity... we don't sing praises to Joseph Smith! What Hymn are you referring too?! Joseph Smith is a prophet, and he should be remebered for the translation of the BOM, but we don't woship him! That's why we said we aren't "Mormons," but we belong to "The Church Of Jesus Christ Of Latter-day Saints." We dont worship Mormon, we worship Christ! I'm sorry that you were not able to discern that. I, personally, belong to the Church Of Jesus Christ Of Latter-day Saints. I know who I am, I know God's plan, I'll follow Him in faith. I believe in the Savior, Jesus Christ, I'll honor His name. I'll do what is right, I'll follow His light, His truth I will proclaim. The primary answers are the PRIMARY answers. I know this gospel is true. I've felt it's moving power in my life, and I can only pray you will return to feel it too.
@@zadiawilson2201 2 Cor. 11:13 For such [are] false apostles, deceitful workers, transforming themselves into the apostles of Christ. 11:14 And no marvel; for Satan himself is transformed into an angel of light. 11:15 Therefore [it is] no great thing if his ministers also be transformed as the ministers of righteousness; whose end shall be according to their works.
I am so impressed with you. You are so smart and confident at such a young age. I hope you reach many with your truth and honesty about this man made religion. God Bless and keep you safe.
As an adoptee, i had a unique experience with sealings. Got sealed to my adoptive parents when i was 15, one of them had already been dead for several years so his youngest son was a proxy for him. The whole experience was terrifying since there wasnt any explanation for anything since i hadnt been endowed and wasnt "allowed" to know anything. I even had to cover my eyes at multiple points. Im working on leaving now, but its a hard process when your entire family drilled into you that theres nothing outside of the church. (Happily living with 2 wonderful and supportive partners helping me through this and many other transitions in my life)
Thank you for taking the time to share your story. You taught me a lot tonight. I’ve only know a few people who practiced that faith, but never heard any of this. I hope your new wedding is exactly what you wished for.
I'm so glad you mentioned "you get your own planet in Mormonism." I was very involved with a man and trying to learn more about his religion, because I really thought we might get married. I studied with the missionaries for several months, but they neglected to tell me a lot. I found out about this planet thing through other sources. It hurt me to break it off with my love, but knew I could never be a Mormon, and I would not leave my church.
They truly wait until your endowment/wedding to tell you most of this. Usually it's too late by then to back away, which is why so many Mormons are stuck forever bc they're too integrated into the lifestyle. You dodged a bullet
❤I’m truly sorry to hear that you broke it off with someone who you obviously loved over something so insignificant! I am Mormon and I was very happily married to a Catholic until the day he died. Trust me that this was never an issue!!! What was important to us is that we provided a good foundation and Christian faith for our children which is why he suggested that they be baptized Mormon when they were old enough. They are now in their 30’s. One is active and the other is not. It’s not necessary for you to leave your church. If your relationship is worth saving please try and do so❤. True love is hard to find and also hard to lose. Don’t let silly things get in your way.
Topic Heaven Members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints believe that all people dwelt with God before this life and that every individual has the opportunity to dwell with God after this life in a state of eternal joy. Latter-day Saints believe that our existence is analogous to a three-part play that consists of a premortal existence; a mortal life on earth of learning, testing and growth; and a postmortal existence as resurrected beings. Latter-day Saint teachings state that where we go after this life depends primarily upon the degree to which we accept and follow Jesus Christ, as well as on the desires of our hearts and how we translate those desires into works. In addition, our destination after this life depends on whether we participate in the essential rites (such as baptism) that aid us in the process of repentance, progression and sanctification. Latter-day Saint understanding of scripture provides a view of the afterlife that expands upon the common notions of heaven and hell. In his epistle to the Corinthians, the Apostle Paul describes the condition of postmortal bodies with a comparison to the sun, the moon and the stars. Latter-day Saint revelation given to Joseph Smith builds upon this pattern. Latter-day Saint scripture describes the three corresponding states of postmortal existence as the celestial kingdom, the terrestrial kingdom and the telestial kingdom. Though all three are understood to be degrees of glory, Latter-day Saint believe the highest state - the celestial kingdom - to be where God is (or, as those of other faiths understand it, heaven). As all human beings inherit different circumstances, Latter-day Saints believe that a just and merciful God will account for our varying degrees of knowledge and access to truth. With this in mind, Latter-day Saint scripture teaches that all will eventually “enjoy that which they are willing to receive,” and to those that so desire, “all that [the] Father hath shall be given unto” them (Doctrine and Covenants 88:32; 84:38). In other words, a person’s reward in the afterlife will be determined by what they really desire in this life. To those who most desire to follow God and live as He lives, the New Testament promises that they shall be “heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ” (Romans 8:17). Latter-day Saints believe this includes eternal family relationships. Latter-day Saint scripture teaches that the “same sociality which exists among us here will exist among us there [in eternity], only it will be coupled with eternal glory” (Doctrine and Covenants 130:2). The promise of growing to become more like God and ultimately returning to His presence with our families motivates Latter-day Saints to do their best to live according to the teachings of Jesus Christ. See also Plan of Salvation
@@myrnalynnmittelstedter4188my dude, difference in religion is not an insignificant issue. I'm glad y'all worked things out, but it seems very difficult to do without some major compromises in obligations. I don't know what formation y'all received, but your husband would have needed a dispensation from his Catholic bishop in order for your marriage to be recognized as a legitimate "natural" marriage (not even a sacramental one, since the Catholic Church does not recognize Mormon baptisms). He would have also been required to promote his own faith as much as reasonably possible to his children. If he didn't attempt either of these things, then he ultimately compromised on his own faith to marry you. And whatever you think of it, that is pretty significant.
One of my best friends was Mormon. Yes I definitely was not invited into the temple at her wedding. Nor was her sister who was Mormon but not in good standing. So we sat on the grass and talked. I did however get to see the inside of a temple at an opening of a new temple. They are stunning…except ya know the whole cult thing.
I have a temple recommendation and I go to the sacrament on a regular basis. Not all lds think alike. There are good lds people who support lgbtq rights, encouraged covid testing, and are affected by corporate greed. I know this because I am one and I know quite a few who feel the same way.
@@andyjones7514 This is why you can’t convince me the church doesn’t have a department dedicated to monitoring the comments of every single exMo content creator and making chat gpt responses.
@@chispitablanca First of all I don't monitor for the church. Look Ms Grenfell is obviously a learned, successful, woman. I'm here to post the wonderful experience my wife and I had when we were sealed in the Sacramento temple which is where we live.
@andyjones7514 Your grammar is hilarious because your statement reads that you are a good lds member who supports gay marriage, encouraged covid testing and are affected by corporate greed. Is that what you meant? Edit: I just read the second comment where you said you live in the Sacramento temple.😆
I’ve never been LDS, but the name mishap made me laugh (in commiseration!) When my husband and I got married almost 25 years ago, the preacher who was set to officiate had to rush to his father (in another state) who was about to pass away. We had 2-3 days to secure another preacher, and the only available person was my elderly great-grandmother’s preacher (also ancient). He had no clue who hubby and I were, so he had a piece of paper with our names written on it inside the open Bible he was holding! 😂 “Do you… looks at note… take… looks at note…” Our wedding was quite the disaster (this is the tip of the iceberg), but we’re still together! 😊 Thanks for sharing on this channel, so we non-LDS viewers can learn more about your experiences and the church.
The jump scare with the outfit reveal and music literally made me flinch. I didn’t grow up Mormon but in a very religious Christian household and watching your videos has been so interesting. Hoping your vow renewal helps to bring healing from your past experience 🩵
Thank you for speaking your truth. My parents converted to the LDS faith when I was 6 years old so I was raised in the church. I married in the temple (we both lied to get our recommends to be sealed) at age 21. (Way to young as I look back. I had no life experience.) My father's parents disowned the whole family because they could not attend the temple wedding (I was the oldest of 5 kids and they literally removed all of us from their wills. My only cousin inherited everything). My Mormon husband was verbally and physically abusive, mostly because I was not subservient enough to him. (I basically couldn't have a life of my own. He could do whatever he wanted, but I had to ask permission to do anything that did not include him.) After 6 years, I had had enough and I left him. I moved to another state and my parents encouraged me to seek out the church in that area for "comfort and support." Both the bishop and RS president told me I was wrong to leave my husband and I needed to "work on myself and being a better wife to my husband." Every time I moved, the same thing happened. The bishop would tell me how wrong it was to leave my abuser and that if I had been a better wife, he would have not acted the way he did. "The lord would watch over and protect me from harm as long as I followed the teaching of the church and upheld my temple covenant." Didn't' matter that he wasn't living up to his end of the bargain nor keeping the covenants he made. Nope...not happening. So 22 years ago I walked away from the church. I have married a nice non-practicing Catholic man and have 2 well rounded kids. I have asked about getting a temple divorce from my ex and the process that it takes is ridiculous and very shaming. I will one day go through with it, probably after my father passes. He is still very much a believer and he likes to remind me of the blessings i will be giving up if i go through with it, even though he agreed with my civil divorce because my ex was an alcoholic abuser. I have often wondered if i just have my name removed from the rolls of the church, will that negate the temple sealing?
The sealing doesn't mean anything unless you give it that power. I hope you don't feel compelled to go through a shameful process to have the church you don't believe in perform a ritual that you don't believe in either. I hope you truly find your spiritual freedom.
Thank you for sharing your story. I was a convert to the church at 18 and remained in the church for just short of 10 years. More than 20 years later, I still fight the shame at times, flashes that bad things are happening to me because I was not faithful enough. I need to watch your full episode on Mormon stories, and I plan to get your book. Keep sharing dear heart! You are doing great things!
My first experience with a Mormon wedding was a friend who converted to Mormonism in order to be married. None of her family, including her parents, no non Mormon friends and no college friends were allowed. She was all alone except for the groom and his Mormon family and friends. We were all shocked as none of us had ever encountered this situation. We just thought it was the weirdest thing we had ever heard of.
I wrote my entire wedding ceremony. I got a book that included the wording from many different Christian wedding ceremonies and used bits and pieces and wrote original similar words, etc. It was completely personal. My dad made a wooden arch. My aunt did flowers for us. It was outside in a park by a lake. Even through the marriage did not last, I still am happy about the wedding I had. I meant every word and every vow, and it meant so much to me.
I don't believe in a God or divine power but if I did then I would feel like the wedding vows would be final and you should have to deal with it. Like, if you get a divorce you lied to God during your wedding. But God already knew that you were lying because She is all knowing. 🥱 Sorry for being mean, I guess I'm cranky today reading all these comments lmao. Take care
I don't understand why you think you have to share all this if it was supposed to be sacred and personal. Are you just trying to ruin it for others I just don't get it. I will pray for you
@@almathe2ndOh my goodness. The virtue signalling done to be of no benefit whatsoever to the 'you' in "I will pray for you.". The most self-righteous passive-aggressive attack one can unleash on another. It's not just a violation of Scripture, it's disgusting. If you intend to pray for 'you', do it, and keep it between yourself and God. Prayer for another is wonderful if righteous, but not if used as an assault. I do wonder how many unleashing this attack actually do pray. I'd feel better being the 'you' in this type of situation if the statement was, "I have prayed for you." Even if I thought you were in error and/or that your heart wasn't quite right, I'd be a little bit grateful that you'd already made the effort.
I went to a wedding at a Temple in Utah County. I'm about 100%% sure the groom agreed to marry in the Temple to keep her from leaving. Its kind of like, "Or else" if you don't get sealed in the Temple. I wasn't allowed in the ceremony for the obvious reason that I am non-LDS. I felt a little embarrassed because I didn't know why I was invited to the Temple if I couldn't actually go in. I had to wait in the waiting room, with one of the brother in-laws, cool guy, I kept thinking to myself, "I know why I can't watch the ceremony, but why isn't he allowed in the ceremony?". He is LDS 😂. It's a different religion for sure. One more thing when someone is sealed, for example grandparents, and on person dies. They can move on and get seated to someone else. So that person is in a celestial kingdom waiting for all of eternity and their Earth spouse is sealed to a new person! Nobody has been able to make sense of this to me. One LDS person said, "Oh its because in heaven they have different planets for their spouses". ...ohhhhh ooookay
I dated a Mormon for a bit, he always HATED how much makeup I wore and how I dressed. Often shaming me out loud and to his friends. He tried to convert me because he could never marry a non Mormon. He was honestly awful, and gave me so many complexes! He even once said to his friends in front of me that I wasn’t Mrs Right but I was Misses Right now. I really appreciate you telling your story and it truly affirms that I dodged an awful bullet.
Dont judge thousands of people because of one guy. Im sure you'd find someone judgmental in every community and in every religion. While I am sorry that happened to you, I would invite you to not stoop as low as hating on the Church Of Jesus Christ Of Latter-day Saints. I have found more joy in it then in any other aspect of my life. We strive to get to a point in which we can set our standards high enough that we can overcome the physical body, all it's wants and desires, longings and hungers. Sometimes, we want other to be able to feel the joy we feel when we do that, and some people may take it too far. I hope this helps you understand. We are taught not to judge, but we are all human. No one should expect anyone else to be perfect. That is reserved for our Lord and our Savior. They are perfect and know what's best for us, even when WE don't know what's best for us. Our church is a hospital, for the unperfect. If we were perfect, we wouldn't need it. That's the beauty of it! To make unperfect people perfect EVENTUALLY. not in this lifetime, but still eventually. I digress. I hope you understand what points I've attempted to get across.
@@zadiawilson2201 I've read several of your comments and they are full of what the Bible calls "will worship" that you''re striving and behaving and trying, all of human effort to reach some perfect end point. If you are like me you might like the structure and the goals, but that is not God, that is religion. That is not Biblical Christianity where we choose to humble ourselves and follow Jesus,, and the natural indwelling of the new life with the Holy Spirit, empowers that change over our lifetimes. The Bible says our own efforts are as filthy rags to God, otherwise why else would God send Himself to pay for our penalty of sin? Read the New Testament one sentence at a time like a child would and come to the real Jesus, Author, Savior and Finisher of our faith.
If it weren't that serious and causing so much harm to people the whole thing would be great comedy... A Club with a secret hangout and a lot of secret handshakes, special holy clothes and all that... and then a bond for time and all eternity can be broken simply by removing your name from a list... Which is fascinating because this makes the club be higher up than even god.
I really appreciate the explanation on your videos, my whole family is Mormon (parents, brothers, etc) and I was for some part of my life as a kid and teenager, but I decided to stop attending the Sunday meetings when I was like 18-19, it was very hard for me cause of course my whole family were expecting me to be a Mormon girl and marry a guy who served a mission, and of course that give me a lot of trouble with my self esteem 😢 but looking backwards I think that was the most courageous thing I could do for myself at that time. Thank you for making this videos exposing all the fucked up things that make Mormonism a cult
I was baptized in 1996 and I wish I knew more before that. The elders tell you what they are taught to tell you. I moved around quite a bit; I was basically a visitor everywhere I went and my final move to Indiana brought me to an LDS church I planned to stay at. I was never married and had no interest in becoming married. The officials at my church learned I had not yet received my endowment. Here it was 2003, and finally was able to prepare for my endowment. I found the entire day, from beginning to end to be more than just weird. It was everything I believed a religion should not do. Very ritualistic, very mapped; being touched while naked under a fabric flap, and watching members of my church chant while standing around a pentagram; my stomach turned. I could not wait to get the heck out of there and every minute that passed I promised GOD that if HE could get me home safely I would NEVER go to any Temple ever again as long as I live.
Those rituals sound very Satanic. I actually believe the Mormon church is satanic in nature. What better way to deceive the people into believing they are actually worshiping God than starting a church that will redirect their thought and belief system.
Oh man, God bless you! I had no idea that some of their practices were so, well almost satanic. I can’t look at a pentagram and not see evil. I’m so glad you got out.❤
I absolutely love your content! as a never-Mo currently living in Idaho, I’ve been going down the rabbit hole since the culture is so predominant here. Thanks for your honesty and vulnerability :)
@@AG-iu9lv only southern idaho is mormon-heavy. for some reason, they seem to like deserts. and idk where you get your ideas about "white supremacist" organizations. there are far fewer nazis here than in portland, but no one wants to talk about that.
Wedding night speculation at 33:29. The same happens in evangelical church weddings. Most couples remain virgins until after the wedding. What no one speculates is all the sexual dysfunction that will occur in the marriage as a result of body and sex shaming the couple from a young age. Most will be disappointed on their wedding night.
And then the women will probably have to work through the baggage of no longer being 'pure' in an environment that's spent her whole life telling her that her 'purity' is the main thing that makes her a 'suitable' partner rather than anything about her as a person.
Oh you totally nailed this! It's like going from 0 to 60 because you're expected to not even THINK about sex and then suddenly "please your husband so he doesn't want to cheat on you." It's so much pressure and my pastor's wife told me that it would hurt - so of course I didn't say anything for a long time because I didn't want to disappoint my new husband. Terrible... Not to mentioned that as soon as we returned from our 5 day honeymoon (basically just crying and being scared) every single church member suddenly wanted to desperately know when 18 year old me would be getting pregnant :( I do have a happy ending though because unlike most women who get married really young, I was encouraged to grow and be honest by my also really young husband. He and I both struggled with reconciling our upbringings about traditional gender roles and all of the expectations that were sold to us - but he really gave me freedom in a way that no one else had before.
wow what an exaggeration! Any stats to go with that? Didn't apply in my case, and not in the case of many others I know as well. I'm not sure where all this hate is coming from - are there some bad LDS members out there who cause trauma? Wow. Move to my area, things will get better!
@@jacalynmillerseriously asking with no hate: do you guys monitor exmormon videos/stories? And do you do it to persuade people to come to Mormonism or come back to Mormonism? I always see a few of you in these videos and it’s always something like “it’s not that bad/ Ex Mormons are just exaggerating/everything worked out for me” which yk is fine but how do you come across these things?
@@jacalynmiller Unfortunately personal experience and friends are not stats. People tend to use local social circles as representation of all experience. There are decades of data collected by psychologists, sociologists, clinical social workers, and marriage and family counsellors that show shaming sexuality does have an affect on sexual satisfaction in marriage. It is not waiting until marriage that is necessarily the problem. It the attitudes and beliefs about sexuality that are important. Evangelicals are one guilty party where this occurs. Also in LDS culture the attitudes towards sex can cause severe problems in marriage. Many couples do report dysfunction. It isn't the case in each marriage, but there is cause for concern among professionals who publish the data.
Speaking from the perspective of a guy who married a Mormon, it was a colorful journey. She (ex for 20+ years) wasn't a practicing Morman, so my time with her was far closer to normal than the time spent around most folks from Utah. Man, oh, man. The vibe that occurred sometimes was awkward. Her family was extraordinary, and I never once felt uncomfortable around them... We flew back to Utah for our civil ceremony, and when we were out together meeting her friends, I sometimes felt very out of place. I was in a rigorous religious home, so the ceremonial aspect wasn't foreign. Still, the shenanigans that Morman has to adhere to are exponentially more inflated with ritual than my upbringing. She used to joke about the stories regarding the 'magic underpants.' It's strange to me. Mormonism isn't the only faith drenched in symbolism. What truly saddens me is that all that symbolism counts for Zilch at the end of the road. To think that we exist in a world where your book will benefit people is just sad. I've heard it said that the presence of the different types of rituals involved in many religions somehow imparts a significance that would otherwise be missing. The importance lies within the people rather than the ceremony around them. What will it be like when we are all but dust? Who knows until postcards from the afterlife arrive. Why put the extra stress on a young couple just starting out? Their path forward together is already arduous, as is any marriage. The couple can do without the Mormon gasoline on the fire. The level of indoctrination is extreme, indeed. Society says the cults are sinister. Yet, Scientology, Mormonism, and countless other groups exist, and very little is spoken of them. Again, sad, I say. I would love to hear about your current path and how you reconcile the then-you and the now-you. I suspect every day is a step. Find your own way rather than one that hundreds of thousands have followed. Have you received blowback from the Church? I've rambled enough. In closing, thank you for lifting the veil of secrecy (and yours, too! lol) on the topic, as I'm sure many will benefit from your actions.
My Mother was a convert to LDS Church. She left after 25 years, in 1971, right when the Women's Movement started. My Dad accepted and respected her decision and she made a rule that the 3 youngest kids, me being one of them, only had to go to church if we wanted to. She and my Dad were both "mortified" by the Temple Ceremony. When I was 13 she told me about it. It was one of the only things in life that my Mother was upset about. And this is someone who lived through The Great Depression and lost her Father during that time. I'm so proud of my Mom for leaving and being true to herself.
Note that you are asked to promise to keep all the "laws, rights and ordinances pertaining to this holy order of matrimony" without them ever being explained to you.
We attend a Mormon reception. The bride was married in the temple. Miraculously 6 months later had a full-term baby. There may have been some untruths told to the bishop during the pre-marriage interview. But, hey, they had their temple sealing!
I'm pretty sure that was their business, and between them and their Heavenly Father... not between them and the busy bodies using their fingers to count months. And the Mormons I know would be kind, loving, and supportive, and wouldn't give the number of months they'd been married the time of day. Ain't nobody got time for that.
Thank you for sharing the very deep and inner workings of the Mormon religion, the false doctrines and the sadness and restrictions of it all. Thank you for your bravery and I pray for healing, wholeness and restoration from the spiritual abuse that you endured. You are free in Jesus Christ and may HE forever be with you for Jesus is the Only Truth. God Bless You.
Eight generations of Mormonism. The burning in the bosom never happened when I read the book of mormon, grew believing that I was never going to be enough. Quit going as a teenager, married a backsliding Baptist. Gave my life to the true Christ when my son was 2 weeks old. 42 years ago. I have absolutely freedom in CHRIST. The baptism for the dead ceremony I went through at around 13 made me question everything.
@@dieSchreckschraube I left several evangelical Christian churches over the years. Each denomination (Southern Baptist. Pentecostal, Methodist, and some Megachurches) had it's problems.
@@BunnyWatson-k1w But none of those protestant denominations have anything similar to all of the weird stuff described on this video and others by Alyssa. Wedding days are beautiful and can be tailored by the couple and best of all at the reception you can serve both coffee and alcohol!
Heh. I got married in a Mormon chapel! So, roughly 30 years ago this year, my then bf & I had just decided to get married. He was raised Methodist & was somewhere between Methodist & agnostic at that point in time . I was raised Southern Baptist, but had fully left that (my family refuses to accept this, even now.) I had flirted with Wicca/paganism during college, but by this point I was definitely somewhere between pagan & agnostic. My maid of honor (one of my best friends from college & still one of my dearest friends) had become friends with my bf/husband-to-be & introduced us to her dad, at the time a SB pastor to one of the largest deaf congregations in our area. So, when we decided to get married, we asked him to officiate (he was made fully aware of our religious leanings; luckily he was/is not the sort to get bent out of shape about the religions or lack thereof of his friends). The ceremony was SUPPOSED to happen in my aunt's backyard. So, of course, it rained. For most of the week before our wedding. But it was supposed to be clear on the day. The whole wedding party shows up at my aunt's & we realize that while her yard is not a swampy mess, it is... well... rather DAMP, and mushy. My aunt had already gotten permission from the local Mormons to use the parking lot of their chapel down the street so we wouldn't have 30-40 vehicles sitting in her front yard, so she made a phone call to see if we could maybe borrow their reception room (aka, basketball court) for the reception & maybe tuck the ceremony in there, too, since the ground was a bit doubtful. They, quite graciously, offered not only to let us use the reception room for our reception, but also the chapel for our ceremony & several of the surrounding offices/classrooms for all of the last-minute pre-wedding prep. Good thing they did, because about 2 or 3 minutes into it? The absolute BOTTOM fell out of the sky, & it rained for the rest of the day & into the evening. ROFL So, the "simple outdoor wedding" of my dreams became a mish-mash of Methodist/agnostic marrying pagan/agnostic officiated by Southern Baptist pastor in a Mormon chapel. And despite it all, we're still married, & still friends with the pastor (who still doesn't care what religion we do or don't practice). One of these days, we WILL have a renewal ceremony that will be more in line with what I wanted. (And I had dress drama too, but mine was because my dad had some weird notion of how a "wedding dress" is supposed to look, & apparently pink satin faux-antebellum is better than white lace with a handkerchief hem??)
I was an exchange student in Idaho almost 15 years ago and lived with a Mormon host family in a very Mormon area. Thank you for your videos, they are teaching me a lot and putting things into perspective even such a long time after my stay there. My time there was pretty much the beginning of the end of my own religious journey (I grew up catholic in Austria, left the church a few years ago). I just bought your book, I look forward to reading it and watching more of your videos! Love from Austria :)
@@vgil1278 it's usually the super religious people who can't accept when other people choose a different path for themselves. But sure, I'm writing "all garbage" :)
I left the Catholic Church as well. Now I attend a Christian Church where we learn and openly discuss the Bible, and ONLY the Bible. I will never return to the Catholic Church either. Love from Idaho!!! :)
When I left around 23 years ago (I am 44 now) I never had anyone to talk to or help guide me and I’m so glad that people like you are out there serving as a lighthouse for those looking to leave. Thank you for sharing your experience and for your authenticity!
I found that - and this is going to sound weird, but it’s my experience - I had very morbid nightmares before I went for my endowment. The people who went with me were so excited for me and kept oohing and aahing and kept asking me how I felt in the temple. I felt nothing but cold and empty in this temple experience. The Adam & Eve movie was beautiful, saw two different versions of the movie. I left the church less than a year after my endowment ceremony. I didn’t leave because of mis-behavior or being able to live the life…. I left because my eyes were opened, Thank God. Keep doing what you’re doing. It’s important to expose the works of darkness. Thank you.
I got to see a temple before it was consecrated!! It was quite an experience, beautiful - but what they likely thought was beautiful, and serene, I found kind of eerie. They talked about where all the marble was brought in from, and other high-end finishing, and it felt opulent in a bad way.
Not to mention after it's dedicated only mormons can work on it. So money laundering starts happening. Like, "oh, let's repaint this mural for 1 million and let my brother do it".
I was telling my sister that seeing pictures the inside of these huge, all white decorated interiors of the temples gives me a creepy, almost uncanny valley feeling and she said it reminds her of a funeral home, and I think that’s accurate Edit: I just looked up photos of the San Antonio temple and another one and it just really gives me “cult but make it REALLY luxury” vibes Edit 2: also strong Art Deco vibes which is cool, but kinda weird
Getting my daughter ready for her temple wedding when I could not attend the ceremony itself was way traumatizing. I was not mormon. I had to pretend to be fine with it so I waited until she went in for the actual ceremony to break down in tears. One day she will get my journal from that time.
I just found your page through the new Mormon mom’s show. I absolutely love your content. I’m binging all of them. I am not religious in any way… so yes this is so interesting and seeing how well adjusted you are and in love still!! So much love and respect!!! 💜
I am not and never will be LDS. I have many relatives who I love who are Mormons. These relatives are college educated, very intelligent people. I have to question their common sense and ability to question. I "attended" my cousins wedding at the Washington,DC temple in the parking lot. Let me tell you how warm and fuzzy that made me feel. Congratulations on you and your husband freeing yourselves from the LDS church. Many blessings to you both going into the future! ❤
Wow. There's so much hatred on this channel. Why? My greatest joys reside with this Gospel, and I only van pray you may change your statement and find the same joy. It takes work to find it, it's not easy, or else there would be no point! Our purpose is to overcome our physical bodies and let our Spirit take the wheel... let CHRIST take the wheel. The temple is a sacred place. If they allowed everyone, epecially those who have such violent hatred toward it, into the building, imagine how the Spirit would leave. That would be the most depressing thing. The Spirit of God to leave His own house because of the disrespect of His children. How can so many people mindlessly follow one or two claims on the internet?! How can they not find out for themselves?! The temple can be for you if you choose to change your life, you ways, your attitude. The Lord does not draw on an empty well. How do you expect to have all these things revealed to you when you haven't made the effort to search it up yourself?! Our church is that of personal revelation, and it comes PERSONALLY. that's why so many of us have such strong testimonies. It wasnt just PREACHED at us, we lived it. We FELT it in our lives. I feel it still. Never have I ever been more happy. I can't wait to continuesly feel that joy for all of eternity!
@@zadiawilson2201 make sure to revise your secret handshakes, I’m sure God won’t forgive you if you forget… maybe the Freemasons would be happy though.
@@zadiawilson2201 Your view of God and the Holy Spirit is contrary to the Bible. People don't make God the Spirit do anything. He's God! He goes or stays, up to HIM. He LIVES in our hearts, not in houses made by men. Read your New Testament carefully and understand His real truth.
I'm from the UK and legally you have to be married by someone who has the right certification to marry you so you can't get married in the temple. It doesn't work with Scottish/English etc marriage laws. There used to be a strict rule that you had to get sealed within 24hrs of your legal marriage or you had to wait 1 year. I know it has changed now by the church. I never got to that point of the temple and im bloody glad i didn't
Same here in Germany. I remember my best friend getting married on a Friday in a civil ceremony which I as a non Mormon attended. Than she did a long trip to the temple on Saturday - almost didn’t make it due to traffic - and had the reception on Saturday evening back at her local Mormon centre. If weddings are stressful, this one was extra…
It's actually because in the UK the law says that a wedding has to take place in a place where anyone can attend ( presumably so people having just cause to stop the wedding can go ahead!). As temples are not open to the public, legal weddings cannot take place there. In the UK church members usually get married in their local meetinghouse and then go to the temple to be sealed.
In Germany religious marriages are not recognised civilly due to Roman Civil Law therefore all religious marriages must occur separately after the civil ceremony.
Thank you so much for sharing, and for your vulnerability. I have my own religious trauma, and while I was never Mormon, I do recognize how long it takes to recover I wish you all the happiness in the world!
I didn’t grow up in Utah but I had a close friend in high school who was Mormon. He had shared a lot about the wedding process with me but I didn’t know about some of the other aspects like the new name. I also never considered how jarring or traumatic it would be to experience your ceremony in this way. I hope you and your husband can create new moments and memories to celebrate your marriage!
24:30 I (convert, not in the church anymore) was planning on having a temple and civil wedding on the same day. I planned on not telling my mom about the temple ceremony at all because I couldn’t imagine how hurt she’d be that she couldn’t see her only daughter get married. If the bishop would’ve said “actually the REAL ceremony happened earlier” at my wedding without me knowing, I can’t imagine what I would’ve done. It almost makes me cry just thinking about it. Really dodged a bullet there
My very first endowment session some mental lady sitting behind me kept yanking my head piece down every time I tried to fit it comfortably on my head. After the 3rd or 4th time a temple worker almost got up to say something but then sat back down. My fiance and his mom, everyone in there just stayed silent. I was so set on being positive snd having a spiritual experience that I did not turn and tell her to stop. Everyone with me just ignored it too.
@@rachelgroth7108 it 100% was. My temple marriage was very lonely and I completely lost myself in the roles of traditional wife and stay at home mom. My needs, comforts, desires, and dreams were never allowed space. I have since left the church and that marriage, starting over but centering myself this time.
I went to the open house recently, it was interesting. The celestial room was very large, and had a fantastic chandelier. The baptism room was amazing, detail-wise and the architecture was beautiful throughout the building. The little socks we had to wear weren't bad, because their floors were very clean an I didn't want to mess them up anyway. It was super cool, honestly. I wasn't raised Mormon, and don't plan on it, but goddamn if they aren't good at making pretty castles.
Its more than just a "pretty castle." It's the house of the Lord, where ordinances are made and people can be sealed for all eternity! Where love never dies because the physical body does! Where we can give the people who come before us the opportunity to be baptized! It is the most beautiful, holy, and peaceful place. Each and every temple carries that spirit. You should feel so blessed to have stepped inside it. Never in any other place have I felt happier with the most overwhelming and awe-inspiring joy! We are not a cult! What happens in the temple is sacred and eternal for those who are worthy. How do people choose who is and isn't worthy, you may ask... Follow Him. Live His gospel. Repent and mend you ways. Be perfected as much as you can, and step through those doors with your recommend. The greatest gift we've ever been given is the Holy Ghost, the Spirit of God. WE HAVE ACCESS TO IT!!! and I don't know about any of you, but I sure have felt the lasting effects in my life. Going through this comment section, seeing the hate, replyng and trying to be the best missionary I can be... it's helped me realize that I am so blessed to be a part of this church, and I would not give it up for the world! Not because my dress wasn't white enough, not because I was offended by ONE person, and NOT because someone said it wasn't true. I know it's true. I bare my testimony it is! I feel it everytime I kneel to pray, everytime I open my scriptures, read my patriarchal blessing, or even... step into the temple. Not only is the temple the most beautiful thing you can see, but it is the most beautful thing you can feel too, and that's not something easily described. It's very personal to you individually, and no one can argue with what you feel in your heart. That's a place the world can not meddle. Know you are loved. ❤
@@zadiawilson2201 nobody asked you to give it up. That’s the glory of the Lord we get to chose, but He has the final say not your church or any church for that matter. Jesus lives in our hearts not a building Amen
I live in Carlingford, a suburb of Sydney, Australia. We have a temple that the community got to view before it was consecrated 30 + years ago. It was very interesting seeing the hall with the mirrors on either side of the room that meant your reflection and that of the enormous chandeliers went on for ever and the deep pool for baptism with a computer in the corner. Good luck to you
This video is so interesting and the discussion is very important, but the music you put over you changing was absolutely iconic and hilarious and I just needed to put that out there!
Oh my goodness! Thank you for sharing this,l; how sad. I really hope you do a joyful, personal, celebratory vow renewal. How wonderful that both you and your hubby left together and can share a mutual vision for your future. May God bless you richly.
My husband grew up Mormon and left at 16 when he got a job and used it as an excuse to not be able to go to church. He has ptsd about it. When we got engaged, his mother tried to push the idea of a temple wedding. We had to sit her down and explain that we were not Mormon and would never be getting married in a temple. She was very delusional, not understanding that my husband hadn't practiced Mormonism since he was a kid. She once invited missionaries to our house and my husband locked himself in our bedroom rhw whole time and I had to handle the situation. I find this religion strange. My mother in law has since stopped trying to push us into the church, but I do ask her about church because I know its important to her. Thanks for sharing your experiences!
Console yourself with the fact that you've had the courage to break a 100 year chain of oppression and emotional extortion. You're children will lead happier lives.
I noticed that they make you wear the green apron, which is a representation of the fig leaves that Adam and Eve wore in the Garden of Eden, as they covered themselves in shame after God had found out they had eaten the apple, (I digress though). I found it interesting as well. My best friend was Mormon, she passed away in 2005. I was able to attend her funeral in Cedar City, Utah. At her viewing, while she was in the casket, I noticed that she was dressed in the same green apron upon burial. I just thought it was interesting that it is required for both, a wedding and a funeral.
Listening to the process of the ceremony, it's so different from what I'm used to! I'm Jewish. In our marriage ceremony, there also isn't anything personalized- but it's also a very ceremonial event and it's expected that the couple has figured everything out beforehand. I can talk about it more if anyone is curious- I personally find it very meaningful, but I know that a lot of people might not understand why.
@@ashleehatcher9330 sorry for delaying! So the ceremony starts with the groom approaching the bride, accompanied by both their families, and veiling her. This has two meanings- one, that he's seen his bride and she's the correct one (reference to the story of Yaakov) and two, that her physical appearance doesn't matter. Then, under the chupah (a tent-like structure where the actual ceremony is held), the groom recites a line that translates approximately as "you are hereby sanctified to me with this ring by the rites of Moshe and Israel". The word sanctified was translated from has implications of holiness, but also separation. Anyway, then the ketubah- the legal document of marriage, which also charts the minimum amount that has to be given in a divorce- is read. After that, there are seven blessings said for the occasion, and then the groom recites a verse from Tehillim (Psalms)- 137:5. He then breaks a glass cup. Then the celebrations start.
Im so sorry you had these experiences but im glad now you decided for yourself. I love how you talk about this but without being biased. Just totally informational etc. it doesnt sugar coat any of it nor make it out to be worse than it is. Bc i enjoy learning about other religions despite being sure in my beliefs. And there's so many secrets in the Mormon church. Hopefully this can help others considering joining as they arnt told what its like before. Marriage in every culture is extremely important so to hear this ceremony is saddening. Esp bc they create the 1st secret in your marriage...and if its a good marriage the only secret.
I thought about this too...the part about creating this secret right at the beginning of this infinite marriage. It is so blatantly patriarchal. Weird flavor of overt, covert and micro aggressions of sexism just in that one tradition of the new names and who gets to know.
My temple marriage in 1978 was one of the worst days of my life. I grew up SO excited to get married in the temple. I married a convert and an RM. Of course his parents could not attend since they weren't LDS. In those days one had to go through the washing and anointings naked under a poncho. This was changed in 1990 to the way they do it now which as I understand it one dresses in their garments and temple clothes first but someone who has gone through since then can certainly correct me if I'm wrong. Then I went through my endowment and THEN got sealed in marriage. It was a LONG day. The officiator was so old his hands were shaking and we were afraid he would pitch over the altar or onto one of us! He called me by the wrong name also. (This became a joke between us over the years that we weren't "really married" because my husband married someone named Lorraine). My husband looked like a baker in the hat. I was still so traumatized by the washing and anointing earlier in the day and the endowment I couldn't even focus on the sealing. I cried all the way to the reception and was furious with my mother and my husband for not giving me a heads up in advance. I understand much has changed since 1978. We left the church in 1992 due to the truth claims. We had no internet and did all of our research in the library. Only looked at church sources also. No "anti-Mormon" literature in those days. Best decision I ever made. My family is all LDS. Anyway it is therapeutic for me to share this and I know it's long!
May I ask, what are the truth claims?
I’m so sorry your wedding was so traumatic. That should’ve never happened. I hope you’re doing well; I can’t imagine the courage and strength it took to leave then.
you COULD have been endowed earlier. don't blame the church for that. YOU COULD have told sealer he said your name incorrectly.
you could have done a ring ceremony even a civil wedding....
@@ardenpeters4386 You are absolutely right and I did correct him. In those days it would have been EXTREMELY unusual for a woman to be endowed before they were married. Women waited until their wedding day and had their endowment and a sealing in one day. I did have two friends who were missionaries and they were endowed before their mission. But it was not the "norm."
I was a convert to the church here in Brazil and oh my gosh... My husband's family is all from the church and they never told me anything, neither did my leaders. I felt so shocked when I left the temple, I got physically sick. Thank you for giving me this platform, I felt so alone. Thank you so much 🙏
Hey! How are you? Im from brazil as well and my current boyfriend is a active member of the church. He's preparing for his 2 year mission and thia saturday hes going to the temple in Rio to the his investidura. I dont really know what to do. His family and friends (and sometimes a little bit him) keeps pressuring me to get baptised but just knowing all this stuff from the church it creeps me out. If u r willing to i would love to get ur contact to hear more about ur story. I really love my boyfriend and i want to marry him but not under this circunstances. I dont rlly know what to do.
@Tiamaryln you should leave him. It's a cult. You will be pressured, brainwashed, forced to do what they want
@@Tiamarylnhey girl. Don't do It, I know they make us feel so loved an all, but after we are in It It completely changes. Look up the temple ceremonies and what they truly believe (overall and about us, women). I cannot even begin to tell you how traumatizing It ALL was. Not to mention they live for the church, so If you love him and wish to live together some day you have to make It clear that he has to love you for you, and not expect you to become the stay at home meek wife and mother the church wants you to.
@@marianamenezes3199 How was it for u? Are u still with ur husband or did u have to get a divorce bc of the religion differences?
M@@Tiamaryln
have a new wedding. invite your sisters. exchange vows. take your time. make it special. i’m proud of you
I would totally do that if I were her. So sad that they can't even enjoy their special day. Cult mentality
So sorry that happened to you. What a disappointment. I think you should tell someone how you feel in the church. If you haven’t already.
😂😂😂
@@crescentmoonchild4031 Like the church would listen to her complaints? This is a cult so that will never happen.
@crescentmoonchild4031 I think they and everyone else should get tf AWAY from "the church". Just the way ppl talk about it is culty. Wonder why?! 😒
28 years ago when my wife and I were married, the vows also included a section for my wife to agree to love, honor and "obey" me. There was nothing that mentioned "obey" in my vows.
The ceremony came to a screeching halt when my wife told the officiator to repeat that last bit but leave the word "obey" out. Everyone's eyes were as big as dinner plates but I couldn't help but giggle a little bit because I thought the mere concept of my wife needing to obey me was ridiculous!
The officiator turned to me and asked if I was okay with this. I told him I was more than okay with it.
It's nice to see that part at least is no longer part of the ceremony.
Loved the video, there are hundreds of thousands of members and ex members who I am sure are right there with you on many of the problematic parts of the Mormon Temple marriage.
It sounds a bit odd and a lot theatrical . ME! I’d be laughing so hard they’d have to drag me out by my heels , cackling all the way. It sounds like show and tell . I don’t know the theology but the couple is there to marry each other and everything else is witnessing
😂😂😂
@@WatchingwaitingG2DSorry, TRUTH!
@@WatchingwaitingG2D No skin off my back if you don't believe the LDS Temple marriage had the word "Obey" in the woman's vows... There used to be Blood Oath convenants in the temple endowment ceremony as well (capitol punishment offence for revealing temple ordanences etc. removed in 1990) but that was even before my time.
@@WatchingwaitingG2D telling your elders you're watching this
Definitely do a nice vow renewal with YOUR dress that YOU like in a venue YOU like!
In Scotland 'hand-fasting' ceremonies are popular. I think it originates from old Celtic traditions and is beautiful. A faith element can be incorporated into it as well if you want this.
With all your friends !!
And serve champagne!!
I deed
Do the vow renewal and get yourself a dress that’s low cut and ships your shoulders…. A slit in the skirt would be a nice twist 😉
The whole temple experience was pretty traumatic for me at 18. It was one of the things that started me towards leaving the church. Thanks for sharing.
So many of us feel the same. It’s hard to explain the trauma and betrayal from going though something like this 😞 I’m glad you got out
@@alyssadgrenfell My older brother basically had a breakdown his first (and only) year at BYU Idaho from learning more about Mormon doctrine and history and losing his faith, hard. I didn't understand at the time why he seemed so scared of our religion all of a sudden (I was like 13). Took me years to realize that he wasn't the crazy one
I'm happy to have a missionary finished being a missionary,and Im free to make the right decisions,and be completed with my "True Love"and we all have that all of us!!!Just search,and search or find,and find because there it is,at the end of that road so don't give up brothers,and Sister's...we are all here helping each other to grow more,and love one another,and spread the love so that we all find peace,and understanding,and respectfully given to all of us so that we all be saved by our Powerfully "Savior" Amen
@@UTTX Brother Kyler some of it is a amazing experience to me that being a missionary there is a true Miracles and be brave to fully achieved all of it in my Time!!! AMEN
@@UTTXIt seems many women don't seem to get the "cut your throat" style Freemasonry temple ceremony. Maybe it's because traditional Freemasonry was only geared towards dudes. 🤔
As someone who left the LDS church as soon as I was able to at age eighteen before doing my endowment, I really appreciate these videos. Whenever I've asked my Mormon parents what goes on in the temple, they've always been really cryptic. It's good to finally get clear answers
They probably aren't oath-breakers
@shallnot6043 an oath made in secret isn't an oath I'd like to keep. Especially a religious oath, kinda creepy/culty
@@silvermalwareai4047
why?
lol what is this, Game of Thrones?@@Vibeagain
@shallnot6043 why isn't it? A promise made by parties who basically had NO IDEA what has actually going to happen is extremely uncomfortable. I was actually scared of the temple since I had NO idea what went on in there besides the few rooms I had permission to go in. I would feel extremely afraid and uncomfortable if a political organization was this secretive, or if an educational institution was this secretive. Why is it okay when a religious institution is? It's not, it's creepy
I was a convert in 1972. Went to the temple in 1974. My husband and I had been married already for about 4 years when we were sealed in the temple for Time and Eternity. I think that was the beginning of the end for me the ceremony where my husband learned my secret name but I couldn't know his secret name. Another thing that was very disappointing was the fact that my secret name was probably the most ordinary woman's name in the world . I thought I would be getting a special name that was just for me. Something new. I also heard later that everyone on the same day got the same special name? After 7 years in the LDS Church I got divorced and left the church. I felt my ex-husband used the priesthood to bully me. It was a relief to be free of the church and my ex . Also the special handshake and aprons was weird to me. Felt like a Mason ceremony. 😮
Someone told me the Mason ceremony is very similar
thats where Joe got it.
do you know what your secret name was??
@@0426jmsI saw pictures of mason practices, LDS stole things directly from it. Even the apron
It’s because it is a Mason Ritual. The guy who started it, was made a 33 when he opened the temple and copied it all.
Making you wear a different dress because it's not the "right shade of white?" That's so absolutely insane.
@@UTTXwhy would that even be an expected “issue”? Come on now.
@@UTTXthis isn’t normal. Look, I get having standards. Lots of churches are not going to just let a bride wear an inappropriate immodest dress. Good, I say. But come on. You have to know this is not normal. She showed her dress. It’s white.
@@UTTXYou exemplify why people (correctly) think mormonism is a cult and its followers are heartless rubes.
Sounds like gaslighting
Needed a whiter shade of pale……..
The communal bridal prep room sounds like an eerie reminder of polygamy culture
Believe me it's not.
completely unrelated phenomena
Baptism for dead wtf that about
Never heard such nonsense about afterlife
Instagram down for anybody
@@andrewfarrugia6072 I went to a Catholic wedding once (that's 3 hours of my life I'll never get back...) and they took a few moments for silent prayer for those loved ones who have "gone on before us." Yeah ... joyful and happy !!!
This is a really good breakdown. Thank you for mentioning that the husband gets to know his brides new name but the wife NEVER gets to know her husbands. This was one of the first things I asked after we left. We laughed so hard cause he had forgotten mine and asked for it too.
LOL "Gee, thanks, buddy, so much for counting on you to call me out of my grave" 🤣
You guys think this is all about "feminism" and "women's rights" etc., right? You don't understand! I'm a convert to the LDS church and if I can understand what this is all about, YOU can, too. But you just want to think that Mormon men "hate women" or that women are vicimized or something, right? So frustrating that you don't get it.
@@Cindybin46I have Mormon family members, and i don’t think the women are victimized or that their husbands hate women. The objection is to the idea that women are seen as less-than: the man is called directly by God, right? He has a relationship, a direct connection to his maker. The woman doesn’t; she has to be called up or brought in by her husband because…? It all points to a sense that women don’t get that connection with God directly, instead they have to go through a gatekeeper, her husband. Please don’t pretend that thousands of years women haven’t been seen and treated as less than men. The problem isn’t feminism or thinking Mormon men are bad; the problem is denying a believing woman her own personal, _direct_ connection to God and saying she only gets resurrected via her husband calling her in.
@Cindy explain it then, why can't I know my husband's name?
@@dustmite7558 Ask LDS missionaries or a bishop, look up articles on fair mormon or the LDS website, etc.
Good for you girl! I live in Utah and work in a therapeutic practice. I have so many women and men i work with so this is great information and provides really good insight into what happens to people and my ability to understand what is behind some of their experiences
I was so traumatized at my wedding. I couldn’t believe this was my church. Thanks for saying all the things I wasn’t able to say but I thought.
Hey, no one should be afraid to say it out loud - when I, and many of my friends, took out our own endowments in 1977, we had that same feeling - is this the same church?? It was a shocker. And that, my friend, is the beauty of the restored gospel! This is such a dynamic church! I, and my wife have been a temple attenders for over 40 years now. We never fall asleep, we stay alert and attentive. The Lord has spoken to me through the endowment many times. And now with all the changes it's like - what is he trying to tell me now? I love it! I wish I could feel the same way, blessings to you
What happened that traumatized you? I live in Utah and have heard that many times. Yet nobody will tell me what happened because of secrecy.
@@triciaismyname6068 if you go to our regular church is pretty boring. We are told we don’t have symbolism, etc.
then you go to the temple and it’s all symbolism. It’s the polar opposite of everything we were taught. It felt like I was lied to. I do think they prep people now before and maybe it’s less jarring.
@@theginger8855i can't imagine my wedding day being the same day I experience the temple for the first time. You poor thing.
The fact that as we are raised as women in the church dreaming of our wedding. Every level of YW marriage is uplifted and you are made to be excited for the day it finally happens. I remember as a Mia Maid we made "marriage capsuls" and thinking back now, NONE of it was about the actual day. How distressing it must be to go to the temple and get this????? I am so happy I lucked out on leaving at 18. I do wish I had had your book back then. Healing from religious trauma is a hard bitter road but I would never want it to have happened another way. Life is so much kinder and joyful outside the Mormon church.
I remember making those! It was so awful in hindsight. I don’t know what they were thinking.
@@codename495 right? I remember like "naming all my future children" like crazy! We were 13!
what is a marriage capsule?
Never did that myself or even heard of it.
That is what happens when one chooses man-made "religion" over a "relationship" with God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit.
I must say THANK YOU!!! My family left the Mormon Church before I was born. As you can imagine, I have multiple family members -- and they are still in the church, including Bishops. As I was growing up, many of my cousins did their missions and had temple weddings (of which we of course could not attend).... I am so pleased you are doing this presentation -- I am 75 now and over the years my friends have had a hard time believing the explanations I would share ... I will be sharing this posting. You have done a great job -- very clear and concise. Keep up the good work!! 👍
Happy for you and your husband to be free.
I was raised Mormon from an infant and left in my early 20's. My dad wasn't a Mormon, but the rest of family is. When i became a Christian 25 years ago, I've been rejected most of the time, even taken out of the will!
I'll take God's peace and love any day over "being worthy".
God bless you dear girl.
Break the silence. Break the cycle.
Nice to see you here! I recognize you from C2C. 👋
Yes! Break the silence about ALL the things. ❤
Sorry, there's no breaking any kind of cycle. The work of Christ's church just keeps moving forward. The church has now past the 17 million mark. A couple of weeks ago, 15 more new temples were announced. Alyssa is trying to paint the most negative spin she possibly can. Why? I know not why. Is there money to be made trying to discredit the church? I don't know.
What I do know is that she puts a lot of time and effort into her work. What is her reward? I keep waiting for her to announce she has found a new and better way to serve God, and to serve her fellow man, but she doesn't. She only continues to relive a painful past and through dirt on it.
Here are a couple of short messages about the temple, and the exciting work of Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father in our day today, not the ancient past, but today! ...
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th-cam.com/video/K0WxLdb-Jok/w-d-xo.htmlsi=eym67M3TgpboP0ka
th-cam.com/video/HX9K42SnQQQ/w-d-xo.htmlsi=95XS9f0CX8WJeFgc
That green apron really ties the whole look together.
Who needs a paper white dress when you can have a green ass apron... ;>.>
Freemasonry
Looks like a doily. Or a placemat.
I wondered if it's supposed to be like Eve covering her nakedness with leaves. Very weird
Like a pool table in a blizzard
The whole white wedding dress wasn't even a thing until Queen Victoria wore it for her own wedding. And it wasn't about purity. It was about flaunting that she had the money to spend on an outfit she was only going to wear once. It made her a fashion icon, of course because she set a trend for all brides in the western world. But people who push the purity idea are wrong. But that's what happens when a precedent is set. We keep the precedent but forget the actual reason. Then we treat it like it's something sacred instead of mere coincidence and treat anyone who doesn't follow the rules like an agent of pure evil 😅
Yes. White was also the customary funeral/mourning color until her husband died, after which she wore only black until her own death...except for her Jubilee...
@@katie7748 now that I didn't know. So she set a precedent twice?
She actually wore her wedding dress many times! In her time, the wedding dress was just the nicest thing in your closet. Obviously, being royal, she got a dress specifically for her wedding. She chose white as it would be the best for showing the intricacies of the lace on her gown. But she wore it many times, in the christenings of her children, and even her son Leopolds wedding.
@@stacy6994People have made the white wedding dress about purity in the years since Victoria, but prior to her it was absolutely not the normal or expected thing for anyone to wear at their wedding. The wealthy had new dresses made just for their weddings (maybe white, but not necessarily) but everyone else just wore their best set of clothes (likely the same outfit they typically wore to church).
It used to be married in black, buried in white.
Alyssa, you are very courageous in telling your story. A lot of Christians don't understand Mormonism. Fascinating!! Thank you.
I like learning about different religions, and before your videos I never knew anything about these secret parts of mormonism. Thank you for sharing! I am impressed by your ability and willingness to share these difficult things. I am sure you are having a very large positive impact on the world.
Thank you so much for watching and commenting! It means so much 💜
My half sister grew up Mormon. None of her family could watch her get married. None. Our father could not walk her down the aisle. Her sisters could not be her bridesmaids. That was my first indication that this was a cult. If your “church” is not open to all, it is not a church. When her son and daughter got married, we didn’t even bother to travel across the country as we couldn’t see them get married, and the reception for the one was less than two hours with just tea sandwiches. I can see why outsiders cannot witness this….they will probably be laughing their asses off over the ridiculous costumes. I’m glad you realized the amount of brainwashing you had been exposed to and were able to get away from it. Another incident that happened was when our dad died, he was buried back here in Ohio. My sister wanted the ceremony to be at the LDS building in our area. She asked me to say a prayer. I did it for her because I love her, but, I wish I had said no as it was so against my morals to be in that building.
this supposedly "secret pact" is very exaggerated, by the way - contact the missionaries and you can find out for yourself!
Go look up a channel called NewNameNoah. He has videos inside the temple showing what goes on there.
@@alyssadgrenfell I have Mormon friends, though never understood all the secrets, now I better understand it all. Thank you for your informative videos.
On a side note I really first started understanding it was really a ‘religion’ when (many years ago, maybe 28) my husband had a few months of contract work in Ogden UT. Since we homeschooled our 3 kids, we joined him there.
I was impressed by how kid friendly the whole city was, and how there was even a kids Muesum (first one I ever saw).
However I began to investigate deeper to understand it is a cult. I really feel bad for our friends still in that ‘church’ as they are very intelligent and free thinking….
I had a coworker that gave her baby up for adoption. She was mormon but wasnt active. The adoptive mom asked her to come to their familys sealing. I told her not to go that it would be so painful. She went anyway and they made her stay outside the temple as the adoptive mom went inside and was sealed to her baby for all eternity. Not only was it low key shaming it was a slap in the face to her. She called me weeping. I could not believe the adoptive mom pressued her to go to that.
That's REALLY manipulative, not to mention horribly cruel and inhumane.
It is intended to be mean and cruel. My only child got married in the temple it was so painful and they loved seeing our pain. Mormonism is disgusting and as evil as satanism. May the rot in HELL.
That’s awful
That is horrifying and cruel.
That makes me sick. I am adopted, so I was sealed to my parents , as were my sister and brother. I can't imagine my parents asking the biological mother to attend. That is so gross. I am so sorry for your friend.
I was that girl. Who had to cancel her temple wedding after confessing to her bishop some things. Then had to wait a year. Honestly, a blessing in disguise because I had a regular ceremony and a year of a somewhat normal life before going through the temple. I threw up in the days following my endowment. Got sealed anyway because I honestly was afraid of not going to the celestial kingdom with my husband. Took 13 more years for me to fully leave. This was very therapeutic, thank you!
Oh and Ps. We had the SAME name. Holy shit
WOW it is so eye opening to me to hear how much women are throwing up and getting sick over this- very telling to me and so so sad and scary. ;(
What happens if the sex is bad? You're a virgin, you get married "for time and all eternity," then you go to bed with this man and you're stuck with him forever but the sex SUCKS. What then?
Unfortunately in the mormon religion and several other religions, it’s strictly about purity and sex is about having a family and babies, not so much about pleasure. Even if the sex isn’t good, there wouldn’t be anything to compare it to if those getting married are virgins. I think most people just stay quiet in their marriages if this is the outcome. Its super sad.
@worldadventuretravel there was a TV show on tlc about mormon woman marrying like 50 men and divorcing them the next day bc of bad sex 😅😅😅 would be easier to leave the church and find yourself a good lover...
I grew up in the Mormon church and quit when I was 18. Even though my parents and my sisters were married in the Temple, I've never been told what happened during a temple marriage. This has been very eye opening for me. Thanks.
I married into the LDS church. Never in my life have I been so disappointed when I received an invitation to a wedding reception but not the wedding of a nephew. Jesus never turned away a sinner. No matter the reason for a person to be in church, we are to take this gifted moment and give it to the Lord to open their hearts while in Gods house. This is something I will never agree with that only the worthy can come into the Mormon chapel.
A chapel and the temple are totally different places. The reason only close family and friends are invited to the sealing in the temple is because the sealing rooms aren't big enough for hundreds of people. Also, a temple sealing is for the couple, not the guests.
@@shortcakegurl5187It’s cult brainwashing 101. Make a level of elite. Keep it mysterious. Demand money.
@@shortcakegurl5187Her little sister and her older sister weren’t allowed to be in the wedding, so it has nothing to do about closest family. Jesus himself did his first miracle at a strangers wedding.
@@shortcakegurl5187me when i am completely lying to defend a cult:
Control…
I really love when you do these longer videos going more in-depth about your knowledge and experience! I know everyone loves the shorts and tiktoks but just so you know, THIS content is also highly loved. I feel like I learn so much.
Agree! Longer content!
That is so sweet of you to say and I've definitely been wanting to branch out into longer content! Now that I have this great equipment my plan is to make one longer video per week! So it's coming!
Same!! I really like to get the more in depth explanations.
@@alyssadgrenfellWell done! As a brand new subscriber I can tell you that I’m impressed with your voice level (smooth) , volume (perfect), intelligence (tops) and clarity (terrific).
All of that will have me coming back to hear your content.
Have a great day!
@@alyssadgrenfellwhy did you fall away? Not your answer you give to the internet... the real reason. What was it that offended you so badly that you want others to feel offended too? Why? I may not know much about you... but I know the truth. You dont believe me? I FEEL THE TRUTH. you cannot argue with something so personal... feelings, revelation. Though no one may look at this comment and chage their life because of it, I would have you try again, with an open mind and an open heart. Is the church really so cruel? Is it not so perfect? Or are your opinions just inspired by hatred? Have you felt the truth of the gospel? have you TRIED? I know Ive made the effort, and reaped the rewards. I still am. I will never let myself be overcome by the world. Rather, I will overcome it.
As a Lutheran Christian woman, I find the marriage aspect of Mormonism so interesting and so sad. In traditional Christianity, marriage is something in the life that does not carry over into heaven. Marriage is a gift and blessing that God gives us in this life, but it will not change our heavenly life. There is an understanding that men and women take on different roles in a marriage, but both the man and women are fundamentally equal before Christ. As such, both widows and widowers are permitted to remarry on equal footing, since we know that in heaven, we will neither be married nor given in marriage. We enter the marriage as equals, because we are both equal before God in the end.
THIS 🎯🎯🎯
Loved reading this. I was searching through to see if anyone commented on the Truth of our Heavenly life, that of spiritual life and was so grateful to see how you beautifully shared.
And to all who read, may the Lord continue to lead you to the Truth, whole Truth and nothing but the Truth of God in the fulfillment of Christ. Thank you for these testimonials of living experiences and for helping to guide people out of the darkness of man-made and misunderstood religious teachings and into the light of relationship with our Heavenly Father.
Yea, I’m Lutheran and I don’t want to be married and I really don’t want to be married in heaven by the time they said you might be divorced in heaven , my response would be hell ya 🎉🎉🎉 let’s party . I would be ushered out in 0 seconds flat .
And just a bundling between two people is enough. We just make the”legal” thing a must for obvious reasons. All this religious stuff is for control.
@@laneneal3510
I certainly understand that perception of religious-ness being controlling and the mere CONCEPT of marriage has grown somewhat confusing through the Ages, but if we broke it all a part a bit more and just paired it to the many thing our Lord says, we might recognize that FINE LINE between Relationship and Religiousness. One is about simple RELATING more intimately [ 1:1] ... while the other is a more CORPORATE way of ordering a more controlled way because it's assembly-based. Any time something becomes more corporal ... more structured as in incorporated, it has to them PLACE more controlling regulations. God simply wanted to RELATE personally ... but because we all relate to God very personally, it's HARD to explain those personal WAYS. So the global church tends to DEVISE general rules ... and yes, it tends to control the thought flow ... but it's ALSO why Jesus reminds up to ALSO keep things set apart and intimate.
The Word [ marriage ] is about uniting two into One. People tend to relate that only to human beings ... but anything can become married. Two train cars become married when they are COUPLED together. Flour and oil marries to form dough. In HEAVEN ... its non-material ... its simply a WORD. A CONCEPT in and of itself. We Spirit Beings hold many marriages down here in that MATERIAL world, and I'm not talking formal matrimony. We BLEND our works all the time and sometimes ... we actually, formally commit relationally to one other person. Marriage is just a WORD that can REFER to many things.
Release it from meaning only one thing, and everything else in scripture starts to make more sense.
Be blessed.
I grew up in the Mormon church but my mom, siblings and I left when I was in high school. I was never excited about getting married. So much of my family isn’t Mormon, so inherently I knew a temple wedding would cause conflict and hurt feelings. So my association with getting married was always negative. I didn’t realize how ingrained this was until my husband and I started talking about getting married and I dreaded the idea of having a wedding despite not being Mormon anymore.
My husband and I had a courthouse wedding a few years ago. Our son was the only one in attendance. It was perfect for my level of comfort but I’m also a little sad that the concept of a wedding was ruined for me. Might have to do a vow renewal someday if it feels right
i would encourage it. everything you love, venue, dress, food, all your choice. even if you only have 10 people there. make it a fancy/special party.
@@whitemoonwolf13 love that idea!
@@sarahnaugle8124 my husband and i are doing that since we got married during covid and i am very excited, doing it on halloween so it's basically just a big costume party XD
How wonderful that you and your husband left the church together. I have heard about some couples that have one person that is determined to leave and the other person too scared to leave. Blessings to you and your husband. I really liked your video. What a strange way to get married...
You had me at your tagline "I gave up eternal life for coffee"...interesting content, well presented. Subscribed. Wishing you the best!
Romans 8: 38,39. I like coffee too...
I am not a coffee drinker but looking forward to the Rapture and my eternal life in heaven, leaving this wretched messed up world behind. I left man-made religion years ago for a relationship with God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. You must be born again. John 3:3 reads: Jesus replied, “Very truly I tell you, no one can see the kingdom of God unless they are born again.”
You just gave me a whole new appreciation for tank tops❤😂
I totally feel you, girl. I was a Jehovah's Witness and I wasn't allowed to have my own sister (not a Witness) or my best friend (also not a Witness) in my wedding party. I'm still traumatized by this 30 years later.
Please don't let such thoughts corrode your life. I introduced my best friend to her eventual husband, testified in their behalf to the priest who married them, and couldn't be a member of their wedding party because I wasn't Catholic I attended their nuptial mass and they knew I was there for them. Later, in 1976, I became a Witness. When my college sweetheart (not a Witness) and I decided to marry, I understood and accepted we couldn't be married in the Kingdom Hall, so we exchanged vows in front of his eldest brother's fireplace in the presence of both our families. It was only one day out of over 33 loving years we had together. Your wedding day was just a beginning. Think about it.
@@julierobertson148 cult member begone 🧹💥
I also grew up JW I think I need another life to recover from all the trauma
You are so well spoken, and you have exposed the strange beliefs of a cult that so many people are not aware of. In spite of the awkwardness, the trauma, the strangeness of these rituals that you had to endure, you seem to be so "balanced" and I can tell you want to reveal these oddities to people because you CARE! Thank you. Have a beautiful life with your new found freedom
My grandmother was a young widow. My grandpa died tragically while theu still had 3 minor children between the ages of 8 and 17. She was didnt want to live her life "without companionship" so she intentionally remarried someone she didnt love but liked as a friend because she was unwilling to be sealed to anyone else and she thought if she loved the person she married it would be an insult to his memory. When that marriage fell apart she remarried again to someone that she did not love again. That man divorced her when she got cancer. Both of these men were also widowers and mormon. The second husband stayed close to our family as a good friend. I didnt even know she was married a third time until I was a teenager and my aunt and bio mom told me how traumatizing these experianced were to their family.
Your poor grandmother. How awful and isolating..
@@stacy6994 I dont disagree. She made a lot of really poor choices and thought processes she had in grief. It was a choice she made because she was unwilling to get a temple divorce. She personaly felt it was a disrespect to her first husband whom she loved very deeply. She believed love was eternal and if she loved the next husband and refused to temple divorce her first husband it was a disrespect to the 2nd husband. Better to marry someone you think will be an envestment in helping raise your children and split househlld expense. After her 3rd marriage ended she found an apprciation for romance novels and moved in with her children who were all adults by that point and was overall much happier. All this happened before I was born. I learned about all this decades after the fact but apparently she was very open about her motives at the time. Grief makes people do ridiculous things.
Coming from a long line of Mormons, my ancestors coming across with Joseph Smith, I truly believe Mormonism is pure straight a cult! I chose at age 13 to become Catholic. My Mother was not a practicing LDS so it made it easy for me to start my catechism and on to Baptism, First Holy Communion and Confirmation. At 67, I don’t claim any religion. Jesus is my savior and I know he has my back.
You went from a church that hides rampant sex abuse by its' leaders to... a church that hides rampant sex abuse by its' leaders. Makes sense.
That's exactly how it should be❤
It's such manipulation! Of course we'll be with our loved ones and family in hr next life! Doesn't require a temple ceremony!
Tithing was never meant to be 10% of income (by changed it just weeks after he took over), and it and the WofW were never meant to be requirements to enter. That was added in Utah.
Yes Mormons are a cult. They are not followers of Christ. Joseph smith was a sick individual who changed Scripture to meet his needs
A tithe is in the bible set by God.
My parents were not married in the Temple. As a child, the boys my age used to corner me at church and tell me how my family would never be together in heaven, my parents were sinners even though my mother came from a prominent LDS family - which made it worse (and my father smoked a pipe in public!) One of them said he heard his mother tell other women that my mother was married in the blue dress!! None of us knew what that meant and I didn’t figure it out until I was in High School, when I was disgusted by it. I spent time in other children’s homes and saw how their parents interacted, particularly how the father treated the mother. My father and mother SHOWED me what love was by the way they lived together. They were partners, they respected each other, and they loved each other. My father worshiped my mother. I was married in my own home, standing in the same place my parents had been married, in a dress I chose myself that I loved. My Mama was with me, alone, getting me ready. I came down our long staircase to Mendelssohn’s “Bridal Suite” with my sister as my Maid of Honor and four of my best friends as Bride’s Maids. I took my Daddy’s arm and he walked me down the aisle. I was married by a Presbyterian Minister who had counseled us for several months and let us write our own vows which were personal, meaningful and exactly what we wanted. When the minister asked, “who gives this woman in marriage?” My father stood up and said, “her mother and I, and by her own choice as we have taught her.” (This, in 1974) After the ceremony we went together back up the aisle to Wagner’s “Wedding March” while my friends, my parents friends, my sorority sisters, threw rose petals. I know five - FIVE - women who have told me that after their temple wedding they went into the bathroom and cried. One of them said she threw up she was so upset. Three of the five are still active members. What you are doing here is a great service. I know how difficult it must be. Please do renew your vows, I think it will help, you deserve it.
Great comment / story . Too long for most people to read, but I did and I enjoyed it. All the best!
What does "married in the blue dress" signify? Not a virgin?
I
Your wedding story is beautiful and touching. The thing you father said made me choke up a bit, that’s genuinely beautiful.
My cousin married in blue. Her father is a bishop, so no one says anything... To their face 😂
My cousin spent 8 months exercising to fit into my grandmother’s (also Mormon) wedding dress. When she went to the temple, it was rejected because over time, it had diminished to an ivory cream color due to aging. So she was stuck with a generic, ill fitting glorified nightgown. But, hey, it was stark white! Because that’s all that counts. So much for being “all about family.”
In the U.K. Mormon Temple Weddings aren’t acknowledged, so it’s a civil wedding in the morning and then they travel up to the temple, for the temple marriage same afternoon. It’s great a non members and inactive members can be part of the day.
Hi, I want to thank to thank you for being so open and honest.
I left the Mormons 31yrs ago and I’m 66 now, (to be honest I was excommunicated) but I have NEVER been able to talk about the temple proceedings to my husband. Basically I still had the fear of retribution but thanks to you I finally realised I could talk to him about it all. You are a blessing. xx
My grandmother wasn’t allowed inside at any of my cousins weddings-but she could come to my civil ceremony! That honestly makes me mad that she couldn’t go. She’s so sweet and has been on her own for a long time, and I know she would’ve loved to have been included.
I am not Mormon nor would I ever consider joining the church. But I give you a lot of kudos for coming out and explaining much of what takes place that many non-Mormons don’t know about. You were really doing a service to the community for those that are considering joining the church so they have a heads up as to what lies ahead for them. Good luck for your continuing channel and book.
Girl. If ANY couple deserves a LOVE FILLED HAPPY DAY in a dress you LOVE… it’s y’all. Y’all are SO brave to leave the cult and go do your own thing… bless you and y’all’s wonderful life.❤
It's not a cult.
@@andyjones7514
…If you don’t believe Mormonism is a cult, why are you here??
@@andyjones7514any organization that restricts your connection to your loved ones based on arbitrary doctrine IS a cult. LDS is a cult.
@andyjones7514 it is tho 🤷♀️
I would be verry happy to be blessed only with my husband with patriarche because it is for eternity the convenant is for the both of you and make a special reception with the family.
My husband and his family were all Mormons until my husband was 14. It was a real shirt show when they all left (he has three siblings). His Dad was a BYU professor. My husband has an older brother and two younger siblings, so it was a little complicated, but they are such a close family even 30 years later. I am going to buy your book and surprise my husband! I think he will find your story so interesting and get a kick out of it (he is totally fine not being a Mormon anymore). Good for you, doing what you need to do to process your experiences! I am glad you are still together.
Fascinating! Thank you for sharing for those of us who know so little about being Mormon. You are so brave to have chosen to live your life as you want to.
And you still don't know, this is someone who has left the LDS church and needs to be okay with that, so the more she or he can try to disqualify others from having interest they feel better about their decision. Talk to some happy LDS people.
@@donnavaughn9409 why? your religion dictates that you do not discuss any distasteful aspect.
that means the only honest info your going to get is from an ex mormon
Ohh, hon. Congratulations on getting out! My mom converted to the LDS church the summer after my freshman year of high school. Even though I was never baptized, she made me go to that exhausting three-hour service every Sunday despite getting no sleep and having 8+ hours of homework on the weekends. She sent me to girl's camp every summer. She enforced the Mormon dating and dress standards on me. The only social activities I was allowed to attend were Mormon youth events at the local stake. But out of curiosity and a desire to belong, I gave my testimony on that one Sunday a month. I took that awful, sticky Wonderbread and water communion. I even (LOL) did baptisms for the dead (nobody remembered I wasn't baptized after awhile). I thought our local ward was very kind for the most part, but much of the doctrine seemed hinky. Because of my mom I STILL get calls, texts, and invitations from the Relief society everywhere I go no matter how many times I move. Mainly I was stuck on "But I don't want 16 kids." "I don't know if I want to get married." "Why would God throw out billions of his own creation because they weren't LDS?" and all the other stuff that doesn't stand up to rational scrutiny. *And don't even get me started on how creepy it is that they dictate your underwear.* Decades later, there is no way any God would insist on only one way of worshiping him/her. Love is unconditional. The church has it wrong.
I followed the approved plan by the church. Married a returned missionary in the temple. Remained faithful to him, had a large family, note; I don't regret the children. They are my joy.
Stayed active, went according to the "Plan of Happiness".
Fast forward... We're divorced, I'm free of the cult, my children are out. We're happier now than before.
The critera that is given to find a mate and have a family is skewed to the benefit of a patriarchal corporation.
I have told my children to find someone, if they choose to be coupled, who lights you up, who you feel safe with. A better critera in my estimation.
I have family members who are Masons. When you started describing all the handshakes, rituals and secrecy, I immediately thought ‘Masons’.
I could be mistaken, but I think I remember reading that Joseph Smith who started Mormonism tried to become a Mason before starting his own organization
@@itsnotrounditsapyramid That would explain a great many things.
Well, yeah -- Joseph Smith was a Mason and lifted all this secret stuff WHOLE from the Masonic rituals.
Nine weeks after Joseph Smith became a Master Mason, he introduced the rites that exist in the temple today. A few words here and there have been changed but otherwise they're a blatant copy of the first three Masonic degree ceremonies.
@@itsnotrounditsapyramidI think he actually was a Mason and I agree with you, I think he borrowed a lot from the Masons.
I am all but out of the church, the only thing that remains is my member ID #. I haven’t been to Sunday services for months. I have been a temple worker. I’ve not worn my garments for a long time, basically I only wore them for about a month after being endowed. I have prayed and asked God to forgive and release me of any covenants made in the temple. Thank you for speaking openly about this subject. The last straw for me was a hymn that was sung one Sunday and I’d never heard it before but realized it was singing praises to J Smith and I’m sorry praises are for Jesus Christ only 🙏🤍
Glad you saw the truth and got out of the cult. Jesus Christ is the one who deserves the praise!
God bless you and keep you safe 🙏 ❤️ 💙 ♥️. Don't worry about what those so- called elders say it's complete rubbish 😑.
I'm so sorry. I'm sorry you feel that way. If I were a temple worker... I can only imagine the blessings you could reap! The Spirit you would feel! I would personally never pass up the opportunity... we don't sing praises to Joseph Smith! What Hymn are you referring too?! Joseph Smith is a prophet, and he should be remebered for the translation of the BOM, but we don't woship him! That's why we said we aren't "Mormons," but we belong to "The Church Of Jesus Christ Of Latter-day Saints." We dont worship Mormon, we worship Christ! I'm sorry that you were not able to discern that. I, personally, belong to the Church Of Jesus Christ Of Latter-day Saints. I know who I am, I know God's plan, I'll follow Him in faith. I believe in the Savior, Jesus Christ, I'll honor His name. I'll do what is right, I'll follow His light, His truth I will proclaim. The primary answers are the PRIMARY answers. I know this gospel is true. I've felt it's moving power in my life, and I can only pray you will return to feel it too.
@@zadiawilson2201
2 Cor. 11:13 For such [are] false apostles, deceitful workers, transforming themselves into the apostles of Christ.
11:14 And no marvel; for Satan himself is transformed into an angel of light.
11:15 Therefore [it is] no great thing if his ministers also be transformed as the ministers of righteousness; whose end shall be according to their works.
@@zadiawilson2201joseph smith was a false prophet who made up a bunch of ridiculous shit - if you love god, follow god only.
I am so impressed with you. You are so smart and confident at such a young age. I hope you reach many with your truth and honesty about this man made religion. God Bless and keep you safe.
As an adoptee, i had a unique experience with sealings. Got sealed to my adoptive parents when i was 15, one of them had already been dead for several years so his youngest son was a proxy for him. The whole experience was terrifying since there wasnt any explanation for anything since i hadnt been endowed and wasnt "allowed" to know anything. I even had to cover my eyes at multiple points. Im working on leaving now, but its a hard process when your entire family drilled into you that theres nothing outside of the church. (Happily living with 2 wonderful and supportive partners helping me through this and many other transitions in my life)
Have you ever considered talking with Cults to Consciousness about your unique experience? I would absolutely listen to your interview/story.
Stay strong! Also I have found interesting videoes with Mormon Stories, people who have left my cult ‘religions’.
My family was sealed at the temple in salt lake, it was a weird experience for an eight year old
I'm not exmormon, but ex-evangelical, and having multiple loving partners has been so healing for me too 💚 good luck
@@VensVibrantNailsandBeauty ive thought about it! I might have to look more into it now haha
Thank you for taking the time to share your story. You taught me a lot tonight. I’ve only know a few people who practiced that faith, but never heard any of this. I hope your new wedding is exactly what you wished for.
so much of this is not accurate.
Either you've never been to the temple, or you are not being truthful.
Thank you for sharing this to help Mormons and non-Mormons have a better understanding of what a temple ceremony is like.
I'm so glad you mentioned "you get your own planet in Mormonism." I was very involved with a man and trying to learn more about his religion, because I really thought we might get married. I studied with the missionaries for several months, but they neglected to tell me a lot. I found out about this planet thing through other sources. It hurt me to break it off with my love, but knew I could never be a Mormon, and I would not leave my church.
They truly wait until your endowment/wedding to tell you most of this. Usually it's too late by then to back away, which is why so many Mormons are stuck forever bc they're too integrated into the lifestyle. You dodged a bullet
❤I’m truly sorry to hear that you broke it off with someone who you obviously loved over something so insignificant! I am Mormon and I was very happily married to a Catholic until the day he died. Trust me that this was never an issue!!! What was important to us is that we provided a good foundation and Christian faith for our children which is why he suggested that they be baptized Mormon when they were old enough. They are now in their 30’s. One is active and the other is not. It’s not necessary for you to leave your church. If your relationship is worth saving please try and do so❤. True love is hard to find and also hard to lose. Don’t let silly things get in your way.
Topic
Heaven
Members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints believe that all people dwelt with God before this life and that every individual has the opportunity to dwell with God after this life in a state of eternal joy. Latter-day Saints believe that our existence is analogous to a three-part play that consists of a premortal existence; a mortal life on earth of learning, testing and growth; and a postmortal existence as resurrected beings.
Latter-day Saint teachings state that where we go after this life depends primarily upon the degree to which we accept and follow Jesus Christ, as well as on the desires of our hearts and how we translate those desires into works. In addition, our destination after this life depends on whether we participate in the essential rites (such as baptism) that aid us in the process of repentance, progression and sanctification.
Latter-day Saint understanding of scripture provides a view of the afterlife that expands upon the common notions of heaven and hell. In his epistle to the Corinthians, the Apostle Paul describes the condition of postmortal bodies with a comparison to the sun, the moon and the stars. Latter-day Saint revelation given to Joseph Smith builds upon this pattern. Latter-day Saint scripture describes the three corresponding states of postmortal existence as the celestial kingdom, the terrestrial kingdom and the telestial kingdom. Though all three are understood to be degrees of glory, Latter-day Saint believe the highest state - the celestial kingdom - to be where God is (or, as those of other faiths understand it, heaven).
As all human beings inherit different circumstances, Latter-day Saints believe that a just and merciful God will account for our varying degrees of knowledge and access to truth. With this in mind, Latter-day Saint scripture teaches that all will eventually “enjoy that which they are willing to receive,” and to those that so desire, “all that [the] Father hath shall be given unto” them (Doctrine and Covenants 88:32; 84:38). In other words, a person’s reward in the afterlife will be determined by what they really desire in this life. To those who most desire to follow God and live as He lives, the New Testament promises that they shall be “heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ” (Romans 8:17). Latter-day Saints believe this includes eternal family relationships. Latter-day Saint scripture teaches that the “same sociality which exists among us here will exist among us there [in eternity], only it will be coupled with eternal glory” (Doctrine and Covenants 130:2). The promise of growing to become more like God and ultimately returning to His presence with our families motivates Latter-day Saints to do their best to live according to the teachings of Jesus Christ.
See also Plan of Salvation
@@myrnalynnmittelstedter4188my dude, difference in religion is not an insignificant issue. I'm glad y'all worked things out, but it seems very difficult to do without some major compromises in obligations.
I don't know what formation y'all received, but your husband would have needed a dispensation from his Catholic bishop in order for your marriage to be recognized as a legitimate "natural" marriage (not even a sacramental one, since the Catholic Church does not recognize Mormon baptisms). He would have also been required to promote his own faith as much as reasonably possible to his children.
If he didn't attempt either of these things, then he ultimately compromised on his own faith to marry you. And whatever you think of it, that is pretty significant.
One of my best friends was Mormon. Yes I definitely was not invited into the temple at her wedding. Nor was her sister who was Mormon but not in good standing. So we sat on the grass and talked. I did however get to see the inside of a temple at an opening of a new temple. They are stunning…except ya know the whole cult thing.
I have a temple recommendation and I go to the sacrament on a regular basis. Not all lds think alike. There are good lds people who support lgbtq rights, encouraged covid testing, and are affected by corporate greed. I know this because I am one and I know quite a few who feel the same way.
@@andyjones7514 This is why you can’t convince me the church doesn’t have a department dedicated to monitoring the comments of every single exMo content creator and making chat gpt responses.
@@chispitablanca
First of all I don't monitor for the church. Look Ms Grenfell is obviously a learned, successful, woman. I'm here to post the wonderful experience my wife and I had when we were sealed in the Sacramento temple which is where we live.
All this Temple preaching is pure “BS”
@andyjones7514 Your grammar is hilarious because your statement reads that you are a good lds member who supports gay marriage, encouraged covid testing and are affected by corporate greed. Is that what you meant? Edit: I just read the second comment where you said you live in the Sacramento temple.😆
I’ve never been LDS, but the name mishap made me laugh (in commiseration!) When my husband and I got married almost 25 years ago, the preacher who was set to officiate had to rush to his father (in another state) who was about to pass away. We had 2-3 days to secure another preacher, and the only available person was my elderly great-grandmother’s preacher (also ancient). He had no clue who hubby and I were, so he had a piece of paper with our names written on it inside the open Bible he was holding! 😂 “Do you… looks at note… take… looks at note…”
Our wedding was quite the disaster (this is the tip of the iceberg), but we’re still together! 😊 Thanks for sharing on this channel, so we non-LDS viewers can learn more about your experiences and the church.
May I ask? Why so much focus on the ceremony?
I don't recall much about mine. Ask me about my marriage.. 31 years of smiles. all the way.
The jump scare with the outfit reveal and music literally made me flinch. I didn’t grow up Mormon but in a very religious Christian household and watching your videos has been so interesting.
Hoping your vow renewal helps to bring healing from your past experience 🩵
Thank you for speaking your truth. My parents converted to the LDS faith when I was 6 years old so I was raised in the church. I married in the temple (we both lied to get our recommends to be sealed) at age 21. (Way to young as I look back. I had no life experience.) My father's parents disowned the whole family because they could not attend the temple wedding (I was the oldest of 5 kids and they literally removed all of us from their wills. My only cousin inherited everything). My Mormon husband was verbally and physically abusive, mostly because I was not subservient enough to him. (I basically couldn't have a life of my own. He could do whatever he wanted, but I had to ask permission to do anything that did not include him.) After 6 years, I had had enough and I left him. I moved to another state and my parents encouraged me to seek out the church in that area for "comfort and support." Both the bishop and RS president told me I was wrong to leave my husband and I needed to "work on myself and being a better wife to my husband." Every time I moved, the same thing happened. The bishop would tell me how wrong it was to leave my abuser and that if I had been a better wife, he would have not acted the way he did. "The lord would watch over and protect me from harm as long as I followed the teaching of the church and upheld my temple covenant." Didn't' matter that he wasn't living up to his end of the bargain nor keeping the covenants he made. Nope...not happening. So 22 years ago I walked away from the church. I have married a nice non-practicing Catholic man and have 2 well rounded kids. I have asked about getting a temple divorce from my ex and the process that it takes is ridiculous and very shaming. I will one day go through with it, probably after my father passes. He is still very much a believer and he likes to remind me of the blessings i will be giving up if i go through with it, even though he agreed with my civil divorce because my ex was an alcoholic abuser. I have often wondered if i just have my name removed from the rolls of the church, will that negate the temple sealing?
The sealing doesn't mean anything unless you give it that power. I hope you don't feel compelled to go through a shameful process to have the church you don't believe in perform a ritual that you don't believe in either. I hope you truly find your spiritual freedom.
Thank you for sharing your story. I was a convert to the church at 18 and remained in the church for just short of 10 years. More than 20 years later, I still fight the shame at times, flashes that bad things are happening to me because I was not faithful enough. I need to watch your full episode on Mormon stories, and I plan to get your book. Keep sharing dear heart! You are doing great things!
My first experience with a Mormon wedding was a friend who converted to Mormonism in order to be married. None of her family, including her parents, no non Mormon friends and no college friends were allowed. She was all alone except for the groom and his Mormon family and friends. We were all shocked as none of us had ever encountered this situation. We just thought it was the weirdest thing we had ever heard of.
It's not just weird. IMHO, it's an abomination. One day, humans may evolve from the dark ages and quit following cults (ie.. all religions).
I wrote my entire wedding ceremony. I got a book that included the wording from many different Christian wedding ceremonies and used bits and pieces and wrote original similar words, etc.
It was completely personal. My dad made a wooden arch. My aunt did flowers for us. It was outside in a park by a lake.
Even through the marriage did not last, I still am happy about the wedding I had. I meant every word and every vow, and it meant so much to me.
Am just wondering how your family feels about all this!?!😢😮😂
So the whole thing was a total sham? Why go through the trouble?
I don't believe in a God or divine power but if I did then I would feel like the wedding vows would be final and you should have to deal with it. Like, if you get a divorce you lied to God during your wedding. But God already knew that you were lying because She is all knowing. 🥱 Sorry for being mean, I guess I'm cranky today reading all these comments lmao. Take care
I don't understand why you think you have to share all this if it was supposed to be sacred and personal. Are you just trying to ruin it for others I just don't get it. I will pray for you
@@almathe2ndOh my goodness. The virtue signalling done to be of no benefit whatsoever to the 'you' in "I will pray for you.". The most self-righteous passive-aggressive attack one can unleash on another. It's not just a violation of Scripture, it's disgusting. If you intend to pray for 'you', do it, and keep it between yourself and God. Prayer for another is wonderful if righteous, but not if used as an assault. I do wonder how many unleashing this attack actually do pray. I'd feel better being the 'you' in this type of situation if the statement was, "I have prayed for you." Even if I thought you were in error and/or that your heart wasn't quite right, I'd be a little bit grateful that you'd already made the effort.
I went to a wedding at a Temple in Utah County. I'm about 100%% sure the groom agreed to marry in the Temple to keep her from leaving. Its kind of like, "Or else" if you don't get sealed in the Temple. I wasn't allowed in the ceremony for the obvious reason that I am non-LDS. I felt a little embarrassed because I didn't know why I was invited to the Temple if I couldn't actually go in. I had to wait in the waiting room, with one of the brother in-laws, cool guy, I kept thinking to myself, "I know why I can't watch the ceremony, but why isn't he allowed in the ceremony?". He is LDS 😂. It's a different religion for sure. One more thing when someone is sealed, for example grandparents, and on person dies. They can move on and get seated to someone else. So that person is in a celestial kingdom waiting for all of eternity and their Earth spouse is sealed to a new person! Nobody has been able to make sense of this to me. One LDS person said, "Oh its because in heaven they have different planets for their spouses". ...ohhhhh ooookay
I dated a Mormon for a bit, he always HATED how much makeup I wore and how I dressed. Often shaming me out loud and to his friends. He tried to convert me because he could never marry a non Mormon. He was honestly awful, and gave me so many complexes! He even once said to his friends in front of me that I wasn’t Mrs Right but I was Misses Right now. I really appreciate you telling your story and it truly affirms that I dodged an awful bullet.
Mormons aren't supposed to be looking for Misses Right Now. That's a big no-no, and he's lucky he got away with that type of behavior.
I’m glad you got away from that controlling, judgmental guy. I hope you’ll end up with someone who loves you however you want to be.
I am so glad he didn't suck you in. Sounds like a creep.
Dont judge thousands of people because of one guy. Im sure you'd find someone judgmental in every community and in every religion. While I am sorry that happened to you, I would invite you to not stoop as low as hating on the Church Of Jesus Christ Of Latter-day Saints. I have found more joy in it then in any other aspect of my life. We strive to get to a point in which we can set our standards high enough that we can overcome the physical body, all it's wants and desires, longings and hungers. Sometimes, we want other to be able to feel the joy we feel when we do that, and some people may take it too far. I hope this helps you understand. We are taught not to judge, but we are all human. No one should expect anyone else to be perfect. That is reserved for our Lord and our Savior. They are perfect and know what's best for us, even when WE don't know what's best for us. Our church is a hospital, for the unperfect. If we were perfect, we wouldn't need it. That's the beauty of it! To make unperfect people perfect EVENTUALLY. not in this lifetime, but still eventually. I digress. I hope you understand what points I've attempted to get across.
@@zadiawilson2201 I've read several of your comments and they are full of what the Bible calls "will worship" that you''re striving and behaving and trying, all of human effort to reach some perfect end point. If you are like me you might like the structure and the goals, but that is not God, that is religion. That is not Biblical Christianity where we choose to humble ourselves and follow Jesus,, and the natural indwelling of the new life with the Holy Spirit, empowers that change over our lifetimes. The Bible says our own efforts are as filthy rags to God, otherwise why else would God send Himself to pay for our penalty of sin? Read the New Testament one sentence at a time like a child would and come to the real Jesus, Author, Savior and Finisher of our faith.
If it weren't that serious and causing so much harm to people the whole thing would be great comedy... A Club with a secret hangout and a lot of secret handshakes, special holy clothes and all that... and then a bond for time and all eternity can be broken simply by removing your name from a list... Which is fascinating because this makes the club be higher up than even god.
They have a satire Broadway play called The Book of Mormon, see if they have youtube videos on it.
@@katstonerock i've definitely watched a bootleg for it, so i'm sure it's out there
I really appreciate the explanation on your videos, my whole family is Mormon (parents, brothers, etc) and I was for some part of my life as a kid and teenager, but I decided to stop attending the Sunday meetings when I was like 18-19, it was very hard for me cause of course my whole family were expecting me to be a Mormon girl and marry a guy who served a mission, and of course that give me a lot of trouble with my self esteem 😢 but looking backwards I think that was the most courageous thing I could do for myself at that time. Thank you for making this videos exposing all the fucked up things that make Mormonism a cult
Joseph Smith was a Masooon.
You made the right decision, and you will look back knowing you followed your own moral compass, which is important!
I was baptized in 1996 and I wish I knew more before that. The elders tell you what they are taught to tell you. I moved around quite a bit; I was basically a visitor everywhere I went and my final move to Indiana brought me to an LDS church I planned to stay at. I was never married and had no interest in becoming married. The officials at my church learned I had not yet received my endowment. Here it was 2003, and finally was able to prepare for my endowment. I found the entire day, from beginning to end to be more than just weird. It was everything I believed a religion should not do. Very ritualistic, very mapped; being touched while naked under a fabric flap, and watching members of my church chant while standing around a pentagram; my stomach turned. I could not wait to get the heck out of there and every minute that passed I promised GOD that if HE could get me home safely I would NEVER go to any Temple ever again as long as I live.
BTW: I refuse to do anything for anyone who will use my "given" name. I figure if they know that much, they are in on the whole scary thing.
Yikes, I don't blame you for being creeped out and leaving permanently. There are ways to worship God that are far from creepy/wildly uncomfortable.
Those rituals sound very Satanic. I actually believe the Mormon church is satanic in nature. What better way to deceive the people into believing they are actually worshiping God than starting a church that will redirect their thought and belief system.
Good for you.
Oh man, God bless you! I had no idea that some of their practices were so, well almost satanic. I can’t look at a pentagram and not see evil. I’m so glad you got out.❤
I absolutely love your content! as a never-Mo currently living in Idaho, I’ve been going down the rabbit hole since the culture is so predominant here. Thanks for your honesty and vulnerability :)
Never Mo, cool term.
Interesting that Idaho is so mormon-heavy AND has the world's most white supremacist organizations.
@@AG-iu9lv only southern idaho is mormon-heavy. for some reason, they seem to like deserts. and idk where you get your ideas about "white supremacist" organizations. there are far fewer nazis here than in portland, but no one wants to talk about that.
Wedding night speculation at 33:29. The same happens in evangelical church weddings. Most couples remain virgins until after the wedding. What no one speculates is all the sexual dysfunction that will occur in the marriage as a result of body and sex shaming the couple from a young age. Most will be disappointed on their wedding night.
And then the women will probably have to work through the baggage of no longer being 'pure' in an environment that's spent her whole life telling her that her 'purity' is the main thing that makes her a 'suitable' partner rather than anything about her as a person.
Oh you totally nailed this! It's like going from 0 to 60 because you're expected to not even THINK about sex and then suddenly "please your husband so he doesn't want to cheat on you." It's so much pressure and my pastor's wife told me that it would hurt - so of course I didn't say anything for a long time because I didn't want to disappoint my new husband. Terrible... Not to mentioned that as soon as we returned from our 5 day honeymoon (basically just crying and being scared) every single church member suddenly wanted to desperately know when 18 year old me would be getting pregnant :( I do have a happy ending though because unlike most women who get married really young, I was encouraged to grow and be honest by my also really young husband. He and I both struggled with reconciling our upbringings about traditional gender roles and all of the expectations that were sold to us - but he really gave me freedom in a way that no one else had before.
wow what an exaggeration! Any stats to go with that? Didn't apply in my case, and not in the case of many others I know as well. I'm not sure where all this hate is coming from - are there some bad LDS members out there who cause trauma? Wow. Move to my area, things will get better!
@@jacalynmillerseriously asking with no hate: do you guys monitor exmormon videos/stories? And do you do it to persuade people to come to Mormonism or come back to Mormonism? I always see a few of you in these videos and it’s always something like “it’s not that bad/ Ex Mormons are just exaggerating/everything worked out for me” which yk is fine but how do you come across these things?
@@jacalynmiller Unfortunately personal experience and friends are not stats. People tend to use local social circles as representation of all experience. There are decades of data collected by psychologists, sociologists, clinical social workers, and marriage and family counsellors that show shaming sexuality does have an affect on sexual satisfaction in marriage. It is not waiting until marriage that is necessarily the problem. It the attitudes and beliefs about sexuality that are important. Evangelicals are one guilty party where this occurs. Also in LDS culture the attitudes towards sex can cause severe problems in marriage. Many couples do report dysfunction. It isn't the case in each marriage, but there is cause for concern among professionals who publish the data.
Speaking from the perspective of a guy who married a Mormon, it was a colorful journey. She (ex for 20+ years) wasn't a practicing Morman, so my time with her was far closer to normal than the time spent around most folks from Utah. Man, oh, man. The vibe that occurred sometimes was awkward. Her family was extraordinary, and I never once felt uncomfortable around them... We flew back to Utah for our civil ceremony, and when we were out together meeting her friends, I sometimes felt very out of place. I was in a rigorous religious home, so the ceremonial aspect wasn't foreign. Still, the shenanigans that Morman has to adhere to are exponentially more inflated with ritual than my upbringing. She used to joke about the stories regarding the 'magic underpants.' It's strange to me. Mormonism isn't the only faith drenched in symbolism. What truly saddens me is that all that symbolism counts for Zilch at the end of the road.
To think that we exist in a world where your book will benefit people is just sad. I've heard it said that the presence of the different types of rituals involved in many religions somehow imparts a significance that would otherwise be missing. The importance lies within the people rather than the ceremony around them. What will it be like when we are all but dust? Who knows until postcards from the afterlife arrive. Why put the extra stress on a young couple just starting out? Their path forward together is already arduous, as is any marriage. The couple can do without the Mormon gasoline on the fire. The level of indoctrination is extreme, indeed. Society says the cults are sinister. Yet, Scientology, Mormonism, and countless other groups exist, and very little is spoken of them. Again, sad, I say. I would love to hear about your current path and how you reconcile the then-you and the now-you. I suspect every day is a step. Find your own way rather than one that hundreds of thousands have followed. Have you received blowback from the Church?
I've rambled enough. In closing, thank you for lifting the veil of secrecy (and yours, too! lol) on the topic, as I'm sure many will benefit from your actions.
My Mother was a convert to LDS Church. She left after 25 years, in 1971, right when the Women's Movement started. My Dad accepted and respected her decision and she made a rule that the 3 youngest kids, me being one of them, only had to go to church if we wanted to. She and my Dad were both "mortified" by the Temple Ceremony. When I was 13 she told me about it. It was one of the only things in life that my Mother was upset about. And this is someone who lived through The Great Depression and lost her Father during that time. I'm so proud of my Mom for leaving and being true to herself.
Note that you are asked to promise to keep all the "laws, rights and ordinances pertaining to this holy order of matrimony" without them ever being explained to you.
Violation of consent
So you don’t know how to be faithful and true to your spouse?
@@Bonbongirlyone can be faithful without the church . And know way would I give up 10% of my earnings . I worked for that not the church .
We attend a Mormon reception. The bride was married in the temple. Miraculously 6 months later had a full-term baby. There may have been some untruths told to the bishop during the pre-marriage interview. But, hey, they had their temple sealing!
sigh.................
That must have been tough to have their first baby be a preemie!
I'm pretty sure that was their business, and between them and their Heavenly Father... not between them and the busy bodies using their fingers to count months. And the Mormons I know would be kind, loving, and supportive, and wouldn't give the number of months they'd been married the time of day. Ain't nobody got time for that.
@@laurellid.9629 oh, what a load of rainbows and butterflies that do not exist. You know that a Bishop is required to address such a blatant sin.
That's on them, if they chose to lie to their bishop, that's their problem
Thank you for sharing the very deep and inner workings of the Mormon religion, the false doctrines and the sadness and restrictions of it all. Thank you for your bravery and I pray for healing, wholeness and restoration from the spiritual abuse that you endured. You are free in Jesus Christ and may HE forever be with you for Jesus is the Only Truth. God Bless You.
Eight generations of Mormonism. The burning in the bosom never happened when I read the book of mormon, grew believing that I was never going to be enough. Quit going as a teenager, married a backsliding Baptist. Gave my life to the true Christ when my son was 2 weeks old. 42 years ago. I have absolutely freedom in CHRIST. The baptism for the dead ceremony I went through at around 13 made me question everything.
I always thought the "burning in the bosom" part meant you got heartburn when the BM was true.
From one cult to another. But whatever makes you happy.
@@dieSchreckschraube I left several evangelical Christian churches over the years. Each denomination (Southern Baptist. Pentecostal, Methodist, and some Megachurches) had it's problems.
The burning in the bosom was most likely heartburn from eating too much. Never happened for me either.
@@BunnyWatson-k1w But none of those protestant denominations have anything similar to all of the weird stuff described on this video and others by Alyssa. Wedding days are beautiful and can be tailored by the couple and best of all at the reception you can serve both coffee and alcohol!
Heh. I got married in a Mormon chapel! So, roughly 30 years ago this year, my then bf & I had just decided to get married. He was raised Methodist & was somewhere between Methodist & agnostic at that point in time . I was raised Southern Baptist, but had fully left that (my family refuses to accept this, even now.) I had flirted with Wicca/paganism during college, but by this point I was definitely somewhere between pagan & agnostic. My maid of honor (one of my best friends from college & still one of my dearest friends) had become friends with my bf/husband-to-be & introduced us to her dad, at the time a SB pastor to one of the largest deaf congregations in our area. So, when we decided to get married, we asked him to officiate (he was made fully aware of our religious leanings; luckily he was/is not the sort to get bent out of shape about the religions or lack thereof of his friends).
The ceremony was SUPPOSED to happen in my aunt's backyard. So, of course, it rained. For most of the week before our wedding. But it was supposed to be clear on the day. The whole wedding party shows up at my aunt's & we realize that while her yard is not a swampy mess, it is... well... rather DAMP, and mushy. My aunt had already gotten permission from the local Mormons to use the parking lot of their chapel down the street so we wouldn't have 30-40 vehicles sitting in her front yard, so she made a phone call to see if we could maybe borrow their reception room (aka, basketball court) for the reception & maybe tuck the ceremony in there, too, since the ground was a bit doubtful. They, quite graciously, offered not only to let us use the reception room for our reception, but also the chapel for our ceremony & several of the surrounding offices/classrooms for all of the last-minute pre-wedding prep.
Good thing they did, because about 2 or 3 minutes into it? The absolute BOTTOM fell out of the sky, & it rained for the rest of the day & into the evening. ROFL So, the "simple outdoor wedding" of my dreams became a mish-mash of Methodist/agnostic marrying pagan/agnostic officiated by Southern Baptist pastor in a Mormon chapel. And despite it all, we're still married, & still friends with the pastor (who still doesn't care what religion we do or don't practice).
One of these days, we WILL have a renewal ceremony that will be more in line with what I wanted. (And I had dress drama too, but mine was because my dad had some weird notion of how a "wedding dress" is supposed to look, & apparently pink satin faux-antebellum is better than white lace with a handkerchief hem??)
I was an exchange student in Idaho almost 15 years ago and lived with a Mormon host family in a very Mormon area. Thank you for your videos, they are teaching me a lot and putting things into perspective even such a long time after my stay there. My time there was pretty much the beginning of the end of my own religious journey (I grew up catholic in Austria, left the church a few years ago). I just bought your book, I look forward to reading it and watching more of your videos! Love from Austria :)
Come home to the Catholic Church…
@@valoriemartin2887 No, thank you.
@@marlaynay All garbage! But a deep relationship with Jesus Christ is the most wonderful thing. I hope someday you will reach out to him.
@@vgil1278 it's usually the super religious people who can't accept when other people choose a different path for themselves. But sure, I'm writing "all garbage" :)
I left the Catholic Church as well. Now I attend a Christian Church where we learn and openly discuss the Bible, and ONLY the Bible. I will never return to the Catholic Church either. Love from Idaho!!! :)
When I left around 23 years ago (I am 44 now) I never had anyone to talk to or help guide me and I’m so glad that people like you are out there serving as a lighthouse for those looking to leave. Thank you for sharing your experience and for your authenticity!
I found that - and this is going to sound weird, but it’s my experience - I had very morbid nightmares before I went for my endowment. The people who went with me were so excited for me and kept oohing and aahing and kept asking me how I felt in the temple. I felt nothing but cold and empty in this temple experience. The Adam & Eve movie was beautiful, saw two different versions of the movie. I left the church less than a year after my endowment ceremony. I didn’t leave because of mis-behavior or being able to live the life…. I left because my eyes were opened, Thank God. Keep doing what you’re doing. It’s important to expose the works of darkness. Thank you.
I got to see a temple before it was consecrated!! It was quite an experience, beautiful - but what they likely thought was beautiful, and serene, I found kind of eerie. They talked about where all the marble was brought in from, and other high-end finishing, and it felt opulent in a bad way.
I agree! I was like wow is this a high end spa! And so many rooms where you wonder what goes on…
Not to mention after it's dedicated only mormons can work on it. So money laundering starts happening. Like, "oh, let's repaint this mural for 1 million and let my brother do it".
I toured one several years ago. I thought it was hideously tacky.
I was telling my sister that seeing pictures the inside of these huge, all white decorated interiors of the temples gives me a creepy, almost uncanny valley feeling and she said it reminds her of a funeral home, and I think that’s accurate
Edit: I just looked up photos of the San Antonio temple and another one and it just really gives me “cult but make it REALLY luxury” vibes
Edit 2: also strong Art Deco vibes which is cool, but kinda weird
Like a morgue. My husband and i both non mormon, 😂joke about our visit to the LA Temple visitor center seeing the Talking Heads😂😂 😮 Spooky!
Just seeing the wedding dress they made you wear versus your “not white enough” cream/ivory(?) dress… makes me very glad to have been raised Catholic.
Getting my daughter ready for her temple wedding when I could not attend the ceremony itself was way traumatizing. I was not mormon. I had to pretend to be fine with it so I waited until she went in for the actual ceremony to break down in tears. One day she will get my journal from that time.
I'm sorry. ❤
You want to make her feel bad reading your feelings and “trauma”? Why would you do that to her that’s incredibly selfish.
@@ladyelainefairchild3546why would she do that to him? She excluded her own father for a cult. Maybe he deserved better
I just found your page through the new Mormon mom’s show. I absolutely love your content. I’m binging all of them. I am not religious in any way… so yes this is so interesting and seeing how well adjusted you are and in love still!! So much love and respect!!! 💜
I am not and never will be LDS. I have many relatives who I love who are Mormons. These relatives are college educated, very intelligent people. I have to question their common sense and ability to question.
I "attended" my cousins wedding at the Washington,DC temple in the parking lot. Let me tell you how warm and fuzzy that made me feel.
Congratulations on you and your husband freeing yourselves from the LDS church. Many blessings to you both going into the future! ❤
Wow. There's so much hatred on this channel. Why? My greatest joys reside with this Gospel, and I only van pray you may change your statement and find the same joy. It takes work to find it, it's not easy, or else there would be no point! Our purpose is to overcome our physical bodies and let our Spirit take the wheel... let CHRIST take the wheel. The temple is a sacred place. If they allowed everyone, epecially those who have such violent hatred toward it, into the building, imagine how the Spirit would leave. That would be the most depressing thing. The Spirit of God to leave His own house because of the disrespect of His children. How can so many people mindlessly follow one or two claims on the internet?! How can they not find out for themselves?! The temple can be for you if you choose to change your life, you ways, your attitude. The Lord does not draw on an empty well. How do you expect to have all these things revealed to you when you haven't made the effort to search it up yourself?! Our church is that of personal revelation, and it comes PERSONALLY. that's why so many of us have such strong testimonies. It wasnt just PREACHED at us, we lived it. We FELT it in our lives. I feel it still. Never have I ever been more happy. I can't wait to continuesly feel that joy for all of eternity!
Cult!
@@JesusComeGetMeNowcan I just say that your username describes how I feel 99.9999999999% of the time?
@@zadiawilson2201 make sure to revise your secret handshakes, I’m sure God won’t forgive you if you forget… maybe the Freemasons would be happy though.
@@zadiawilson2201 Your view of God and the Holy Spirit is contrary to the Bible. People don't make God the Spirit do anything. He's God! He goes or stays, up to HIM. He LIVES in our hearts, not in houses made by men. Read your New Testament carefully and understand His real truth.
I'm from the UK and legally you have to be married by someone who has the right certification to marry you so you can't get married in the temple. It doesn't work with Scottish/English etc marriage laws. There used to be a strict rule that you had to get sealed within 24hrs of your legal marriage or you had to wait 1 year. I know it has changed now by the church. I never got to that point of the temple and im bloody glad i didn't
Same here in Germany. I remember my best friend getting married on a Friday in a civil ceremony which I as a non Mormon attended. Than she did a long trip to the temple on Saturday - almost didn’t make it due to traffic - and had the reception on Saturday evening back at her local Mormon centre.
If weddings are stressful, this one was extra…
It's actually because in the UK the law says that a wedding has to take place in a place where anyone can attend ( presumably so people having just cause to stop the wedding can go ahead!). As temples are not open to the public, legal weddings cannot take place there. In the UK church members usually get married in their local meetinghouse and then go to the temple to be sealed.
In Germany religious marriages are not recognised civilly due to Roman Civil Law therefore all religious marriages must occur separately after the civil ceremony.
Thank you so much for sharing, and for your vulnerability. I have my own religious trauma, and while I was never Mormon, I do recognize how long it takes to recover I wish you all the happiness in the world!
I didn’t grow up in Utah but I had a close friend in high school who was Mormon. He had shared a lot about the wedding process with me but I didn’t know about some of the other aspects like the new name. I also never considered how jarring or traumatic it would be to experience your ceremony in this way. I hope you and your husband can create new moments and memories to celebrate your marriage!
Fascinating. I am ex mormon. My mother died last year and she had temple garments to get cremated in. Eerily similar to you wedding outfit
24:30 I (convert, not in the church anymore) was planning on having a temple and civil wedding on the same day. I planned on not telling my mom about the temple ceremony at all because I couldn’t imagine how hurt she’d be that she couldn’t see her only daughter get married. If the bishop would’ve said “actually the REAL ceremony happened earlier” at my wedding without me knowing, I can’t imagine what I would’ve done. It almost makes me cry just thinking about it. Really dodged a bullet there
My very first endowment session some mental lady sitting behind me kept yanking my head piece down every time I tried to fit it comfortably on my head. After the 3rd or 4th time a temple worker almost got up to say something but then sat back down. My fiance and his mom, everyone in there just stayed silent. I was so set on being positive snd having a spiritual experience that I did not turn and tell her to stop. Everyone with me just ignored it too.
Creepy
Sounds like a pre cursor for life in an ominous way.
@@rachelgroth7108 it 100% was. My temple marriage was very lonely and I completely lost myself in the roles of traditional wife and stay at home mom. My needs, comforts, desires, and dreams were never allowed space. I have since left the church and that marriage, starting over but centering myself this time.
Geez Alyssa, I'm receiving over a semester worth of Mormon culture from your videos.
I went to the open house recently, it was interesting. The celestial room was very large, and had a fantastic chandelier. The baptism room was amazing, detail-wise and the architecture was beautiful throughout the building. The little socks we had to wear weren't bad, because their floors were very clean an I didn't want to mess them up anyway. It was super cool, honestly. I wasn't raised Mormon, and don't plan on it, but goddamn if they aren't good at making pretty castles.
They're pretty but after a while it becomes about as interesting and awe inspiring as a hotel lobby.
Jesus isn’t impressed with buildings
After it's dedicated, that's where the money laundering really starts.
Its more than just a "pretty castle." It's the house of the Lord, where ordinances are made and people can be sealed for all eternity! Where love never dies because the physical body does! Where we can give the people who come before us the opportunity to be baptized! It is the most beautiful, holy, and peaceful place. Each and every temple carries that spirit. You should feel so blessed to have stepped inside it. Never in any other place have I felt happier with the most overwhelming and awe-inspiring joy! We are not a cult! What happens in the temple is sacred and eternal for those who are worthy. How do people choose who is and isn't worthy, you may ask... Follow Him. Live His gospel. Repent and mend you ways. Be perfected as much as you can, and step through those doors with your recommend. The greatest gift we've ever been given is the Holy Ghost, the Spirit of God. WE HAVE ACCESS TO IT!!! and I don't know about any of you, but I sure have felt the lasting effects in my life. Going through this comment section, seeing the hate, replyng and trying to be the best missionary I can be... it's helped me realize that I am so blessed to be a part of this church, and I would not give it up for the world! Not because my dress wasn't white enough, not because I was offended by ONE person, and NOT because someone said it wasn't true. I know it's true. I bare my testimony it is! I feel it everytime I kneel to pray, everytime I open my scriptures, read my patriarchal blessing, or even... step into the temple. Not only is the temple the most beautiful thing you can see, but it is the most beautful thing you can feel too, and that's not something easily described. It's very personal to you individually, and no one can argue with what you feel in your heart. That's a place the world can not meddle. Know you are loved. ❤
@@zadiawilson2201 nobody asked you to give it up. That’s the glory of the Lord we get to chose, but He has the final say not your church or any church for that matter. Jesus lives in our hearts not a building Amen
I live in Carlingford, a suburb of Sydney, Australia. We have a temple that the community got to view before it was consecrated 30 + years ago. It was very interesting seeing the hall with the mirrors on either side of the room that meant your reflection and that of the enormous chandeliers went on for ever and the deep pool for baptism with a computer in the corner. Good luck to you
This is heartbreaking. I hope you both finally got to do the ceremony again in a humane manner ❤
This video is so interesting and the discussion is very important, but the music you put over you changing was absolutely iconic and hilarious and I just needed to put that out there!
I’m not Mormon, and after watching your videos I’m kicking myself for not going to the open house at the recently opened Mormon temple in my city!
Oh my goodness! Thank you for sharing this,l; how sad. I really hope you do a joyful, personal, celebratory vow renewal. How wonderful that both you and your hubby left together and can share a mutual vision for your future. May God bless you richly.
My husband grew up Mormon and left at 16 when he got a job and used it as an excuse to not be able to go to church. He has ptsd about it. When we got engaged, his mother tried to push the idea of a temple wedding. We had to sit her down and explain that we were not Mormon and would never be getting married in a temple. She was very delusional, not understanding that my husband hadn't practiced Mormonism since he was a kid. She once invited missionaries to our house and my husband locked himself in our bedroom rhw whole time and I had to handle the situation. I find this religion strange. My mother in law has since stopped trying to push us into the church, but I do ask her about church because I know its important to her. Thanks for sharing your experiences!
it's not a "religion" though.. it's a straight cult.
Console yourself with the fact that you've had the courage to break a 100 year chain of oppression and emotional extortion.
You're children will lead happier lives.
I noticed that they make you wear the green apron, which is a representation of the fig leaves that Adam and Eve wore in the Garden of Eden, as they covered themselves in shame after God had found out they had eaten the apple, (I digress though). I found it interesting as well. My best friend was Mormon, she passed away in 2005. I was able to attend her funeral in Cedar City, Utah. At her viewing, while she was in the casket, I noticed that she was dressed in the same green apron upon burial. I just thought it was interesting that it is required for both, a wedding and a funeral.
Listening to the process of the ceremony, it's so different from what I'm used to!
I'm Jewish. In our marriage ceremony, there also isn't anything personalized- but it's also a very ceremonial event and it's expected that the couple has figured everything out beforehand. I can talk about it more if anyone is curious- I personally find it very meaningful, but I know that a lot of people might not understand why.
I'm interested in hearing more about it!
@@ashleehatcher9330 sorry for delaying! So the ceremony starts with the groom approaching the bride, accompanied by both their families, and veiling her. This has two meanings- one, that he's seen his bride and she's the correct one (reference to the story of Yaakov) and two, that her physical appearance doesn't matter. Then, under the chupah (a tent-like structure where the actual ceremony is held), the groom recites a line that translates approximately as "you are hereby sanctified to me with this ring by the rites of Moshe and Israel". The word sanctified was translated from has implications of holiness, but also separation. Anyway, then the ketubah- the legal document of marriage, which also charts the minimum amount that has to be given in a divorce- is read. After that, there are seven blessings said for the occasion, and then the groom recites a verse from Tehillim (Psalms)- 137:5. He then breaks a glass cup. Then the celebrations start.
@@SpringStarFangirl Thank you! From what I've heard from friends, Jewish weddings are lovely!
@@hmeyers5114 I would agree! And thank you.
Im so sorry you had these experiences but im glad now you decided for yourself.
I love how you talk about this but without being biased. Just totally informational etc. it doesnt sugar coat any of it nor make it out to be worse than it is. Bc i enjoy learning about other religions despite being sure in my beliefs. And there's so many secrets in the Mormon church. Hopefully this can help others considering joining as they arnt told what its like before.
Marriage in every culture is extremely important so to hear this ceremony is saddening. Esp bc they create the 1st secret in your marriage...and if its a good marriage the only secret.
I thought about this too...the part about creating this secret right at the beginning of this infinite marriage.
It is so blatantly patriarchal. Weird flavor of overt, covert and micro aggressions of sexism just in that one tradition of the new names and who gets to know.
She is very biased and focused on hereself.
the montage of you putting on the temple garment with the music was so jarring 😂😂😂