Yes, just telling what happened can almost lock you in. If a person listening has that aspect of helping in processing, it can be kind of opening a "doorway out" to think about the event/s with new perspective and see and talk about it within a new light.
This is awesome having this explained in this way. Our therapist has been doing this for ages but we didn't fully understand or appreciate the processing - we just wanted to keep going over the content. Now we do understand and appreciate what shes doing and can notice and sit in that, and maybe work with her better. We've also found it often requires someone deeply related to the trauma to be fronting in order to actually get anything done. Without them present, any processing is completely ineffectual.
This topic is right on time for me. I'd like to say more but for now just thank you for this and all your content. I dont feel so alone with my DID when I have these videos to watch. Thank You so much.
The part about processing outside the therapy sessions when triggers elicit emotions/ reactions was very beneficial. I think I do this, but it’s a reminder to pay more attention. The therapy session, for many, is one hour a week or non-existent altogether; having strategies in real time helps.
This is yet another timely video! We are about to start serious trauma processing, with a focus on trying to see if we can get back any ability to relive memory in an experiential way. Unfortunately, right now we don't have the ability to relive memories at all, and I would like to be able to relive the good ones and work through the bad ones. I feel like we are integrated enough now that we are ready to take on this new level of work on our mental health - just today myself and a fellow system member stayed blended for hours to perform music at an event for a group that we are both a part of, and it was an amazing experience!
We have been having intense processing dreams of late. Woke up the other day I tried to laugh about how that was one hell of a deep therapy session our mind had last night(all our fears and worries are coming out in dreams). Feels like we are hard-wired to process as deeply as possible, and they want to do so, which is not equal to what our present psychologist is capable of. As we are stuck in a holding pattern, we are just trying to process as much as possible no matter what. Would rather be processing and trying to understand it all more than anything else in life. Thank you so much for this.
Thank you, this actually helped with some of our alters who were more nonverbal. We are starting to break down why they have certain knee-jerk reactions to things, where before we would have just taken those things for granted as 'background noise.'
I've been diagnosed with DID twice - almost, well, one therapist was like "I'm pretty sure you have it, like 85% sure". He said he doesn't know enough about DID to 100% confirm it. So I went to a therapist who had more experience with DID. She confirmed the diagnosis. Now I was in a clinic and they sat me down and told me they weren't sure if I really had DID or partial DID (basically DID or OSDD1a/b). Their explanation made sense to me and since I was moving I checked out therapists in that area that specialize in diagnosing trauma related disorders. Made an appointment and everything. Then I went home and the clinic sent me the discharge-letter (don't know if that's a thing in england/america, it is in germany). It said I didn't have DID at all, in fact I didn't have a dissociative disorder, I have histrionic personality disorder. I now feel lost and confused and really hurt. They also said that they talked to my old therapist (the one who confirmed the diagnosis) and apparently she didn't think I had DID either. I called her and she said yeah, she didn't really see many symptoms and what I had told her also didn't sound a lot like the systems she knew, but "every system is different" and the diagnosis seemed to help me make sense of my life, therefore she gave it to me. I'm so confused now. I think I have DID/partial DID because there have been times where my boyfriend interacted with other alters that I have no memory of, but I don't have the typical stuff of being afraid or angry at other alters, denying the diagnosis, etc. Also I have very little amnesia, our system kind of has a hierarchie and I only have full amnesia to alters from the "head level", for other alters I remember a lot, it just feels like a dream/something that I just watched but didn't experience by myself. I also have very little flashbacks/panic attacks/nightmares etc. in comparision to the other people in the trauma clinic. My main symptom is a constant fear that other people will hurt me (as in 'if I do something wrong they will hate me and if they hate me, they will turn to violence'). To add to that I get a letter from my ex saying he thinks I have a personality disorder, that I abused him and his therapist confirmed that. But I ended the relationship because my friends said he abused me and my therapist confirmed it and I've been happy with the decision ever since, because the relationship made me feel like crap. But now I get the feeling that my old therapist isn't critical at all and just tells me what she thinks I need to hear and just thought to herself "yeah, the relationship seems to be bad for her, better tell her she's being abused, since that's what all her friends are saying anyways!" I feel horrible now, I have to wait until summer/autumn next year for my diagnosis-appointment (they didn't give me a exact date, only a time in which to expect a call from them) and waiting times for normal therapists are all 6+ months. I feel like my life is falling apart and I don't know what to do. I thought I had DID for four years now, I work with that in my day-to-day-life, I told all my friends, ... I still think I have it, but now I'm in a weird state of "I can't have DID, if I had DID I would be thinking that I didn't have DID, but I think I do, therefore it can't be true!" If other alters come out, I tell myself: "This is just me being manipulative due to my personality disorder!" I don't have any money to pay a therapist that doesn't have those long wait times. I just moved in with my current boyfriend and in germany, if you can't work and live from government allowance, if you move in with someone it gets taken away and they have to pay for everything. I'm pretty sure he would pay for a therapist, at least one or two sessions a months, but I'd have to ask him and I just feel like the most horrible, abusive person right now.
if a Dr gave you a diagnoisis there should be a report with detail of how they see you meeting the criteria. You should be able to take it to the hospital as evidence. In the past I had counsellors who told me I had DID but when I asked them to put it in writing they said they were treating me for undiagnosised DID because they weren't qualified to diagnose me. I was confused because the diagnosis was implied but not formalised and I am curious if that might be the issue for you? If you find out you dont have a formal diagnosis I found filling out the Dissociative Experiences Scale very helpful both for my own reflection and for asking health care professionals for a formal diagnosis. Good luck
@@traumaVerse Yeah, I never got that. I guess that could be the case. Although I never got that for my PTSD either, but I do have a paper saying I have PTSD. Maybe it's different with those less "special" disorders.
Does processing trauma cause intense flashbacks? I don’t even know what I’m processing, but I’ve never had more flashbacks. Thank you for this channel. 💜
Omg i do this! 😅 i would on snd on about the “facts” and never describe whats going on internally until it affected me externally. Welp. More therapy time lol
would you make a video on "Why are some DID persons afraid to look one in the eye?" Especially when they're triggered (even afraid to look in the eyes of loved ones). Thanks for the good work 🌸
The bit we get confused about is how to deal with ‘process’ when the feelings/emotion and therefore ‘impact’ that needs addressing resides in younger selves. They can’t have the kind of conversations you describe because they don’t have the words/understanding? ‘I’ just hold some of the facts but v little and I just switch when we get triggered/near trauma memories
Thank you Dr.. Mike. I'm 68 with DID and seem totally unable to process my relationship with money--an ongoing problem which presents huge difficulties. Any suggestions for puting this in our past?
Soooooo, what if my answer to the question "how you feeling?"/"how was your last week?" is "good." because it's more of my job to feel okay and just deal with the everyday stuff? Or if I do have memories tied to specific feeling and it just doesn't help to talk about what happened, nor sitting with the feeling itself, because it won't change anything and simply disstresses more to be aware, because it's still an active issue. (Feeling powerless is fucky, when there are no good options and the harm hits not just you but ppl you care about the most - will not go into detail, this it very triggering.) I just don't know how to move forward when there simply is no access to trauma therapy (No money and unprofessional psychotherapist wasted 2,5y/3y of my government supported therapy - can apply after 5 years again..) and can only see someone from crisis centre every other week :/ I'm very motivated to face whatever and just move forward, because being this stuck with the stuff is not helping! How can I do processing internally with others, without a therapist? I'm tired of being stuck, tired of being affected by stuff, tired of staring at youtube vids for any hints for being able to help myself and others, with nothing to go on with. "See a professional." is like anoter cussword at this point, a corner to slam my head against - I can't! I'm so tired of this repeating! Maybe the impatience comes from the ADHD, who knows. And I certainly don't torture myself with constantly thinking about how stuck we are. I just wanna have SOMETHING when I don't have access to a professional. How can I be a professional to myself and the others inside?
So am I getting this correct? I repeat my traumatic experiences and describe what's happening but processing what has happened to me is taking longer because I'm still trying to work out what has happened by repeating my stories? Does that make sense 😂🤔 I'm finding this hard to get my head round this.
Are there transcripts of your videos available somewhere? I’m a clinician with identity disturbance and being able to read rather than listen helps me absorb what’s being said. 😊
Yes, just telling what happened can almost lock you in. If a person listening has that aspect of helping in processing, it can be kind of opening a "doorway out" to think about the event/s with new perspective and see and talk about it within a new light.
That’s a great way of describing it!
@@thectadclinictrust between client and therapist is key for me. Can be a challenge when having a dissociative disorder.
This is awesome having this explained in this way. Our therapist has been doing this for ages but we didn't fully understand or appreciate the processing - we just wanted to keep going over the content. Now we do understand and appreciate what shes doing and can notice and sit in that, and maybe work with her better.
We've also found it often requires someone deeply related to the trauma to be fronting in order to actually get anything done. Without them present, any processing is completely ineffectual.
This topic is right on time for me. I'd like to say more but for now just thank you for this and all your content. I dont feel so alone with my DID when I have these videos to watch. Thank You so much.
You are very welcome!
The part about processing outside the therapy sessions when triggers elicit emotions/ reactions was very beneficial. I think I do this, but it’s a reminder to pay more attention. The therapy session, for many, is one hour a week or non-existent altogether; having strategies in real time helps.
This is yet another timely video! We are about to start serious trauma processing, with a focus on trying to see if we can get back any ability to relive memory in an experiential way. Unfortunately, right now we don't have the ability to relive memories at all, and I would like to be able to relive the good ones and work through the bad ones.
I feel like we are integrated enough now that we are ready to take on this new level of work on our mental health - just today myself and a fellow system member stayed blended for hours to perform music at an event for a group that we are both a part of, and it was an amazing experience!
what a wonderful story, thanks for sharing this ❤
great!
We have been having intense processing dreams of late. Woke up the other day I tried to laugh about how that was one hell of a deep therapy session our mind had last night(all our fears and worries are coming out in dreams). Feels like we are hard-wired to process as deeply as possible, and they want to do so, which is not equal to what our present psychologist is capable of. As we are stuck in a holding pattern, we are just trying to process as much as possible no matter what. Would rather be processing and trying to understand it all more than anything else in life. Thank you so much for this.
Usually needs guided processing, short ‘bursts’ at a time, with lots of grounding.
this was so helpful - i feel so unravelled all the time. This gives me ideas to help myself
Thank you, this actually helped with some of our alters who were more nonverbal. We are starting to break down why they have certain knee-jerk reactions to things, where before we would have just taken those things for granted as 'background noise.'
I've been diagnosed with DID twice - almost, well, one therapist was like "I'm pretty sure you have it, like 85% sure". He said he doesn't know enough about DID to 100% confirm it. So I went to a therapist who had more experience with DID. She confirmed the diagnosis.
Now I was in a clinic and they sat me down and told me they weren't sure if I really had DID or partial DID (basically DID or OSDD1a/b). Their explanation made sense to me and since I was moving I checked out therapists in that area that specialize in diagnosing trauma related disorders. Made an appointment and everything.
Then I went home and the clinic sent me the discharge-letter (don't know if that's a thing in england/america, it is in germany). It said I didn't have DID at all, in fact I didn't have a dissociative disorder, I have histrionic personality disorder. I now feel lost and confused and really hurt. They also said that they talked to my old therapist (the one who confirmed the diagnosis) and apparently she didn't think I had DID either. I called her and she said yeah, she didn't really see many symptoms and what I had told her also didn't sound a lot like the systems she knew, but "every system is different" and the diagnosis seemed to help me make sense of my life, therefore she gave it to me.
I'm so confused now. I think I have DID/partial DID because there have been times where my boyfriend interacted with other alters that I have no memory of, but I don't have the typical stuff of being afraid or angry at other alters, denying the diagnosis, etc. Also I have very little amnesia, our system kind of has a hierarchie and I only have full amnesia to alters from the "head level", for other alters I remember a lot, it just feels like a dream/something that I just watched but didn't experience by myself.
I also have very little flashbacks/panic attacks/nightmares etc. in comparision to the other people in the trauma clinic. My main symptom is a constant fear that other people will hurt me (as in 'if I do something wrong they will hate me and if they hate me, they will turn to violence').
To add to that I get a letter from my ex saying he thinks I have a personality disorder, that I abused him and his therapist confirmed that. But I ended the relationship because my friends said he abused me and my therapist confirmed it and I've been happy with the decision ever since, because the relationship made me feel like crap. But now I get the feeling that my old therapist isn't critical at all and just tells me what she thinks I need to hear and just thought to herself "yeah, the relationship seems to be bad for her, better tell her she's being abused, since that's what all her friends are saying anyways!"
I feel horrible now, I have to wait until summer/autumn next year for my diagnosis-appointment (they didn't give me a exact date, only a time in which to expect a call from them) and waiting times for normal therapists are all 6+ months.
I feel like my life is falling apart and I don't know what to do.
I thought I had DID for four years now, I work with that in my day-to-day-life, I told all my friends, ... I still think I have it, but now I'm in a weird state of "I can't have DID, if I had DID I would be thinking that I didn't have DID, but I think I do, therefore it can't be true!" If other alters come out, I tell myself: "This is just me being manipulative due to my personality disorder!"
I don't have any money to pay a therapist that doesn't have those long wait times. I just moved in with my current boyfriend and in germany, if you can't work and live from government allowance, if you move in with someone it gets taken away and they have to pay for everything. I'm pretty sure he would pay for a therapist, at least one or two sessions a months, but I'd have to ask him and I just feel like the most horrible, abusive person right now.
if a Dr gave you a diagnoisis there should be a report with detail of how they see you meeting the criteria. You should be able to take it to the hospital as evidence. In the past I had counsellors who told me I had DID but when I asked them to put it in writing they said they were treating me for undiagnosised DID because they weren't qualified to diagnose me. I was confused because the diagnosis was implied but not formalised and I am curious if that might be the issue for you? If you find out you dont have a formal diagnosis I found filling out the Dissociative Experiences Scale very helpful both for my own reflection and for asking health care professionals for a formal diagnosis. Good luck
@@traumaVerse Yeah, I never got that. I guess that could be the case. Although I never got that for my PTSD either, but I do have a paper saying I have PTSD. Maybe it's different with those less "special" disorders.
This is very useful!
thank you again your videos are very helpful
Thank you Clear and I recognize the therapeutic processes I have been through.
You’re so welcome!
Does processing trauma cause intense flashbacks? I don’t even know what I’m processing, but I’ve never had more flashbacks. Thank you for this channel. 💜
Thats how i feel atm.
Any memory work can bring on flashbacks, so always go careful!
Omg i do this! 😅 i would on snd on about the “facts” and never describe whats going on internally until it affected me externally. Welp. More therapy time lol
Thank you
would you make a video on "Why are some DID persons afraid to look one in the eye?" Especially when they're triggered (even afraid to look in the eyes of loved ones). Thanks for the good work 🌸
The bit we get confused about is how to deal with ‘process’ when the feelings/emotion and therefore ‘impact’ that needs addressing resides in younger selves. They can’t have the kind of conversations you describe because they don’t have the words/understanding? ‘I’ just hold some of the facts but v little and I just switch when we get triggered/near trauma memories
Thank you Dr.. Mike. I'm 68 with DID and seem totally unable to process my relationship with money--an ongoing problem which presents huge difficulties. Any suggestions for puting this in our past?
Soooooo, what if my answer to the question "how you feeling?"/"how was your last week?" is "good." because it's more of my job to feel okay and just deal with the everyday stuff?
Or if I do have memories tied to specific feeling and it just doesn't help to talk about what happened, nor sitting with the feeling itself, because it won't change anything and simply disstresses more to be aware, because it's still an active issue.
(Feeling powerless is fucky, when there are no good options and the harm hits not just you but ppl you care about the most - will not go into detail, this it very triggering.)
I just don't know how to move forward when there simply is no access to trauma therapy (No money and unprofessional psychotherapist wasted 2,5y/3y of my government supported therapy - can apply after 5 years again..) and can only see someone from crisis centre every other week :/
I'm very motivated to face whatever and just move forward, because being this stuck with the stuff is not helping!
How can I do processing internally with others, without a therapist?
I'm tired of being stuck, tired of being affected by stuff, tired of staring at youtube vids for any hints for being able to help myself and others, with nothing to go on with.
"See a professional." is like anoter cussword at this point, a corner to slam my head against - I can't! I'm so tired of this repeating!
Maybe the impatience comes from the ADHD, who knows. And I certainly don't torture myself with constantly thinking about how stuck we are.
I just wanna have SOMETHING when I don't have access to a professional.
How can I be a professional to myself and the others inside?
So am I getting this correct? I repeat my traumatic experiences and describe what's happening but processing what has happened to me is taking longer because I'm still trying to work out what has happened by repeating my stories? Does that make sense 😂🤔 I'm finding this hard to get my head round this.
Perhaps if you asked the therapist about if he/she/they has a question/reflection about what you tell about it-to help your thoughts?
Are there transcripts of your videos available somewhere? I’m a clinician with identity disturbance and being able to read rather than listen helps me absorb what’s being said. 😊
There should be subtitles built in!
What happens if you remember the trauma memory but there are no feelings associated with the memory?
Is there a reason why some people remember their trauma(s) more quickly than others?
It’s all individual…
My trauma is because of gaslith I suffer in my childhood. So I can't describe what triggers me in therapy, my cognitive therapist don't understand
Thank you