also honestly just dont propose at someone elses wedding...people do it cause its "romantic" but it will ALWAYS appear to the guests like youre trying to upstage. Unless everyone besides the one getting proposed to knows...its just a bad idea imho
Absolutely, not at someone’s party. Don’t even ask. Not sure a housewarming qualifies as a party tho. Have to be careful if strangers are at the dinner, proposee may not like it.
It kinda seems like a way for the brother to get a ready made engagement party with zero effort. If I was his girlfriend I would be pissed as well as his sister and brother in law.
Christine and Ben giggling at each other and making up a whole legal argument about the proposal story was the most unhinged and hilarious moment in this podcasts history :P
I’ve seen the proposal story before, the brother CONSTANTLY tries to upstage his sister because he’s the ✨golden child✨ that’s why the sister wasn’t mad at the boyfriend for standing up for her.
Kimchi is quintessentially Korean and I’d say the teacher was definitely hugely insensitive at best and racist at worst. Kimchi isn’t what I would consider particularly smelly. As someone who had kids in school judge me for my food it would be better for the teacher to teach the kids to accept other people’s food/cultures and not force the kid to have to eat like the other kids. That’ll just make them feel less accepted for their culture and having to forcible conform for others.
Agree. Kimchi isn't smelly at all and it doesn't even have a distinguished smell like durian. Idk why a teacher will go out of their way to say this when kids don't even complain to her. It is sad to see people make kids conform to general and not embracing their own culture. I find the smell of Mc Donnald weird and greasy but I wouldn't care if someone brings fast food into the room and eat it.
Smell is different to most people, i think Kimchi is SUPER smell and ugh smelling. But i don't tell people around me to stop eatting it my SO loves it. But i don't stop him from eatting it. Thats the way it goes.
Half-Korean and I grew up with Kimchi and never thought it smelly- but I remember my white grandmother making comments on how smelly the Kimchi was in our family’s fridge. It really opened my eyes that some people don’t like the smell when I’ve always thought it was fine
@@Sodaairsoft Especially a child! Adults can accept maybe trading out something that has a strong smell in their lunch but the parent having to then explain to their child why they can't have their favourite foods in their lunch is heartbreaking!
Agreed about the kimchi however the user also said blue cheese and goat cheese which perhaps is the main culprit of the smell. I am particularly grossed out by the smell of blue cheese. My current school has a rule against popcorn, fish or any inherently very strong smelling foods going in our microwaves or to be eaten in general in the lunch room. I found that rule to be rather fair. If other children are getting distracted by the scent of this child’s lunches I don’t see why the mother cannot modify it. Ie: keep the kimchi and spam but change out the strong odour cheeses for something else her son enjoy.
The “smelly food” Argument is so annoying… I used to work for an early intervention and it was always really tough because parents send their kids in with food that they thought was the norm rather than actually food that they would eat so the kids will go hungry and get even more cranky. I used to ask the parents to bring in any food that they like to eat…no matter what it was because I would prefer a child be fed and not be fed at all. That teacher was extremely insensitive and completely the asshole
This. I think Cristine and Ben are forgetting that this is a 5yr old. Little kids are more likely to go hungry than eat something they don’t wanna eat. Especially if it’s a routine.
Proposal story - Possible hot take. If you’re going to propose at someone else’s event (no matter what it is) you need prior approval before doing so. You’re hijacking the effort, time, and money the planner put into the event for your own event so they need to be okay with it.
I heard this story on the Two Hot Takes podcast and they had a good discussion about it the story went on to mention the GF (owner of the house) was used to this kind of behaviour out of her family because her brother was the “golden child” she got her moment stolen and I’m sure countless others throughout their childhood the poster was definitely NTA he was standing up for his girlfriend having another important moment be outshined by her brother
@@kylaheaton I had a feeling there must be further context with the family since the boyfriend was so quick to intervene. If it was a one off, I doubt he would have reacted like that. So icky on the family’s part.
My sister is a kindergarten teacher. She has a student who comes with junk food as lunch. My sister asked the mom “is your daughter supposed to be picking up a school lunch and eating these at snack time or the items in her bag for lunch?” The mother told my sister the items were the daughters lunch because the daughter is a picky eater and my sister dropped it. Is it a healthy nutritious lunch? No, is it my sister’s job to correct the parents decision? absolutely not.
Sometimes the best food for your child is the food they eat. That healty lunch isn't doing anything for the kids health if they don't eat it and it just go moldy in the lunch box.
Ben saying a housewarming event isn't that important is killing me. This girl just bought her very first home, that's a huge deal. Maybe if this is the second or third housewarming party, I could see what he's saying. But come on. Even then, just don't take away from other people's celebratory events without asking permission.
Buying your first home IS a milestone worth celebrating; I would definitely want people to celebrate uninterrupted with me. I think what Ben is saying is, it's nothing like proposing unexpectedly at another person's wedding.
@supermustashdomo it may not be the same as at a wedding, but it's still rude. A slap on the arm may hurt less than a slap on the face, but it's still not okay. People need to just let others have their moments. If he wanted to propose with family around, he can plan his own event.
@@wiccanworm This! I don't think he was saying it isn't a milestone. But rather in the grandscheme of things someone proposing at a wedding is seen as waaay more of a faux pas than proposing at a housewarming.
it's not fair to expect your kids to take care of you when old but it's also not fair to expect your parents to save a bunch of money just to give (adult) you
I feel like the reason they got so upset (and why i would be upset too) is because if my parents told me oh i saved this money for you when i pass and then i do something that upsets them (saying i dont want to live with you) then they come back with fine then i will just spend your inheritance. That isnt fair
@@helendrew3640 same because i thought i heard them say something about the money our grandparents left us so im wondering if its like a trust kind of situation or something.
There is additional context from the OP ruining the proposal. It wasn’t the first time that her family hijacked her events so she was use to this kind of treatment.
33:07 As someone who lives in a country were you should save for 30+ years to buy a house, I would be so effing mad if this happened, I wouldn't stop it but I would be so mad. Its the op's gf first house, we don't know the sacrifices the gf made and he /did/ say she put so much effort in the party itself.
As a 30-yr old married woman with my own house, I (& my brother) have always had a room at the houses my parents lived in when we moved out. Every time I come home, my mom would always say "You know that this is your home and you will always have a room/be welcomed here" Of course those rooms are technically guest rooms since we don't live there, but they're even decorated with our pictures of childhood. That makes me sad that they took her childhood room away so early into her adulthood (and honestly at 18 you're still a kid) and without discussing it with her.
We have a 28 yr old daughter who is coming home for her Masters' internship in May. Not only is her room there, but she is redecorating it when she gets here. Our kids are the biggest joy in our lives. She graduated with her BA about 5 years ago (after a change of major). So she has massive debt. That room will always be hers.
Not all parents feel this way though and it doesn’t mean they’re bad parents. It means they have a small house without space to dedicate to a family member who doesn’t love their anymore.
Another thing I wanna add about the preschool child is that from what I understand the child probably is a picky eater and just really only likes to eat what his mom packs for lunch everyday. And for a mom what's more important for you is that your child eats than packing them something that doesn't smell that much just because the teacher is complaining about how "distracting" the food is. (I'm not a mom or anything but at least that's my understanding of it)
i was thinking the same, because children rarely eat outside of home before pre school so maybe this kid is only used to certain foods, so the teacher should have been more understanding (especially if they are in a place that is racially diverse) Also, if it were a general complaint i could be more towards reaching an agreement like maybe send "smelly" food once a week until everyone in the classroom gets used to it and then send it more frequently but it seems is just a teacher problem with the smell rather then a general complaint
Would’ve been a great opportunity for the teacher to teach her classroom (and apparently herself) a lesson on kindness and understanding everyone’s diverse needs. The child could’ve had a food allergy and was only eating certain foods at the time. It was absolutely inappropriate for her to speak to the child’s mom that way.
I am a mom and my only concern and top priority would be that my child is eating. some kids can have sensory issues, some are autistic and have repetitive behaviors, others are just too poor to afford other foods... that teacher sounds horrible.
Re: parents renovating - wow, when the scenario was explained, my first thought was "I wonder how long they'd been planning that renovation?" and I absolutely understood why the daughter was so hurt. I think if her parents had said to her beforehand, "hey we're thinking that its time to expand the living room, but we'd have to knock down the wall in your old room to do it - do you want to talk about it before we go ahead?" and given her an opportunity to voice her feelings, she'd have probably been really open to it, but to be blindsided by it was pretty inconsiderate on the part of her parents.
If she's a sentimental person it would be nice to be able to see or spend time in her childhood room one last time before it's gone forever. The lack of communication before demolishing is the key issue, IMO.
I mean, I'd be upset, because as was mentioned, my first thought would be "what if things don't work out with my boyfriend" or "what if something happens and I have to come home", because then I'd feel like I wouldn't even have my own space anymore
To say a housewarming isn’t an important event is a shocking take. That girl worked hard and bought a whole house. That is an achievement that should be celebrated. It’s always crazy to me when people find weddings more important than college graduations or home buying. Get your priorities straight.
But they're ALL important events that deserve respect and consideration. Some families put emphasis over more things than others. In a wealthy family that has several pieces of real estate, a first home could be like another pair of socks. In families who deeply value marriage, it might be a bigger deal for a family that leaves absolutely no room to accept divorce as an option, and marriage is a final choice and a kick-off from the family to be gone. We may not all choose what things to emphasize because of each family's value system. To young folks who have never driven a car or had responsibilities, asking for their 15th ride that month might balk at being asked for gas money. It's all recognition and perspective.
It's a huge milestone whether or not the guests agree. If you care about the event and the person you should know it's important for the person, and if it's important for them, IT IS IMPORTANT, There's no: "for me it's not, it's subjective", cause if you are invited you should respect that. I'm not even saying if the proposal was right or wrong, I'm just talking It apart, like you responding to what Ben and Justine said and how they think certain situations are more important than others FOR DIFFERENT PEOPLE. We should not compare people's milestones or achievements, life events or life decisions. I'm just saying that if someone achieves something that matters to them, Then said thing IS IMPORTANT, just because of that.
The story about the parents demolishing their daughter's room right away is so upsetting! They had every right to do it, but they should have simply communicated that intention with her, or even at least told her that it'd been done. It looks like she just came home and didn't expect to find her room demolished. Like wow, clearly they don't care about her coming back or visiting (which most parents do), but also, sometimes your old room is just a place you're attached to. Having it destroyed within a few months without even knowing can be really sad. It's odd that the parents didn't realise that yes, that could make someone emotional.
I find it odd that she didn't know, just like in general. Like my mom would tell me just to tell me, even if it wasn't my room. Like "what's new with you?" "oh just tearing out that extra bedroom to make more space in the living room." "Oh cool."
@@theelodown34 lmao I’m trying to picture this conversation with my dad and stepmom. I’m approaching 32, and my room is basically the same as when I left at 18. I did go to college across the country and haven’t lived nearby since then, so I think they’ve liked having it to ensure it’s easy for me to visit. Thankfully, it was decorated in a pretty generic way and has served as a nice little guest room over the years, but they still call it my room. I’ve lived there for a month or so during transitions over the years, and it’s been a solid landing space for me. That being said, they have a pretty tiny house, so if they wanted more living space, I would’ve been receptive to it with a conversation. I probably would’ve been shocked to come home with that room gone.
@@alwaysemilia I'm 33 and have never had my own room in their current house. But they have a guest room for me, which used to be my brother's room. Before he moved out, I had a twin bed in my dad's office. Always had a bed, even it wasn't my bedroom. This story is just weird and kind of sad to me.
@@theelodown34 but she still has a couch in her parent's house, so she can still sleep there if needed. I still think it's weird they didn't tell her about it beforehand, but also a bit entitled to expect the room to be there forever. Like they said in the video, the problem seems to be bigger than the room, on both sides, the parents not comunicating with the daughter and her blowing it out of proportion and accusing them they wanted to get rid of her...
RE: daughter's room - it's weird they didn't even talk to her about "hey we're renovating" it was just a surprise. Living with a boyfriend is not a stable environment for many women, being dependent on a boy with feeling like there's no safety net can lead to staying in a bad relationship.
This is such a good point - she's only 18 and I would guess living with the boyfriend was meant to be more of a temporary situation. And rent is so ridiculously expensive now. I can see how the daughter would feel she has no safe place to go.
Also what happened to the rest of her stuff? Like imagine packing for college, then coming back and all the stuff you couldn't take with you is gone or in storage, and you no longer have a private bedroom 😭
Was coming into the comments to say just this!! As a girl who moved out with my ex when I was 18 and eventually came back home it would have caused me a lot of anxiety if that had happened to me. Especially if no one told me before I moved out or before they made the final decision to do it. I would have felt anxious knowing I didnt have anywhere stable to live if things with my boyfriend didn’t work out. Even if at the time of the room getting renovated we were still together and happy, it still would’ve put a lot of pressure on our relationship in my mind
i think the thing ben isn't taking into consideration about the food smells at school is that this is a small child. if they don't get packed food they like, they won't eat. and the child will either throw it out, which is a waste, or just leave it in the container the food came in. either way, the kid won't eat and is possibly gonna spend the his school day without eating
Yes! As someone who has worked in education with small children for 10 years, this is absolutely a valid concern. Little ones can be extremely picky and it can affect their focus and energy during a long school day if they don’t eat at all
As someone who didn't eat for the whole school day since grade 2 (age 7) up till now (university, 20s) because I only got packed white bread with jam and a slice of cheese when I was little and have since gotten used to only eating at max one meal a day (no breakfast either because again white bread with jam and a lukewarm cup of no fat milk ew), YES! I'd rather go hungry and not eat till dinner than have the exact same unhealthy thing twice a day every single day. There were some days I brought an apple or a banana or some leftovers that I would eat. But when the only option was white bread with or without jam, then no. Just imagine a child that has sensibilities to food being forced to take food they can't and won't eat! May it be them just being picky or having mild intolerances or issues with textures, whatever it is, they will just not eat and maybe develop some sort of ED. Instagram and such are already making such a huge impact on eating habits of preteens, let's not push these issues onto younger and younger children. (Sorry if anything seems weird, English is my third language and I'm bad at conveying stuff)
this is exactly what i was thinking !! like if it was an adult i would understand but the kid isn’t gonna understand why and like you said will probably just not eat
for the proposal story-- it seems like the brother purposefully waited for his sister to not be in the room to propose, if you wanted it to be a family thing and didn't expect any issues, wouldn't you want everyone in the room? seems like he was trying to steal her thunder for whatever reason
also the teacher in the lunch story is either racist or pregnant, because kimchi really isn't stinky. You have to get pretty up close and personal for it to really have any scent. Like, there might be some smell if you're heating it up because it's cabbage, but every kids' lunch has the potential of smelling 'bad'.
@@jinkiismswhat i was thinking!! I dislike kimchi but usually don't mind eating with people that are eating it because i genuinely can't smell it until I'm sticking it close to my face lol Also she might be pregnant, but calling anyone's food disgusting is not okay. For that reason, I'll say she's racist. I don't see any justification for calling it that even if you cannot stand someone's food.
@@jinkiisms the teacher also didn’t say it was all about the stickiness of the food but that it was “distracting” which speaks to “this isn’t normal” and that’s pretty gross for a teacher to say.
The girlfriend meeting the parents for the first time I followed along with that one, and it turns out that the boyfriend/son actually put her up to it. He said that his parents would be fine with that joke, and then didn’t stand up for her or say that he said it to try to like relieve that tension. Poor girl.
Oh wow, that's a whole other layer of wtf-ery. It sounds like nobody is really communicating anything useful. Boyfriend says "she's the one"... mother is horrified at the "joke" and father ain't happy either. Boyfriend acts like his parents did something wrong, girlfriend is... probably an ongoing abuse victim raised by abusers, to go along with any of it.
@@katc2040 If your bf of over a year tells you to make a stupid joke to his parents, it seems reasonable that she would take his word for it. She'd never met them and they're HIS parents, so of course she'd take his word for it that it was okay to say. Before we started officially dating, my boyfriend referred to me to his family as his "lady friend" and he outright told his uncle before I met him that I "give great head." He has that kind of family with an "everything goes" kind of mentality in regards to jokes. Some families are different and don't care about that kind of shit. I feel bad for everyone involved because this seems just like a huge miscommunication. The son thought his parents would think the stupid joke was funny, told his girlfriend to say it, and they didn't find it unfortunately.
@@cheyenne6913 like, sure, it’s not her fault believing his word for it. But I would definitely wait at least an hour to try anything, make sure to understand the base rules and if they’re comfortable joking like that with the girlfriend
Ya’ll didn’t mention one aspect (RE: daughters bedroom renovation) that I found very relevant -- seems they never even told her they were demolishing her room ?? -- coming home to EXPECT your room to be there, and finding it gone is probably the most-likely way to make this more emotional and conflictual … and I have to wonder why they never had a single conversation with her about it?? It’s either a calculated choice (which leads me to suspect they KNOW it’s the wrong move), or they never considered her feelings at all (which is another can of worms). I’m in my mid-20s and my parents still have a room I can sleep in at their house… they have every right NOT to have this, and it wouldn’t really offend me if they told me they were going to tear down the wall -- but if I came to town to visit and it was suddenly gone, I would def feel some sort of way. Like… oh? You never told me.. uhhh should I get a hotel room or…? (Rational or not) My feelings would be hurt. It’s YOUR PARENTS and your childhood home - no matter how old you get, that’s going to bring up emotions. Some people would be more emotional abt it - some less - most parents know how a child will respond to this kind of thing after a lifetime of knowing them ;; the fact they didn’t seem to consider she might be upset - the fact that they never had a single conversation about it first… leads to MY conclusion that there are probably many other factors playing into the daughter’s feeling that her parents don’t want her around. They’re the assholes -- neglectful of her feelings, at best. ***UPDATE :: OPE, I posted this right before you Finally said they should have had a conversation LOL! Oops.
The 5yr old lunch story is hard but I feel like ultimately, a lot of BIPOC children at school and even adults at work are bullied for bringing "smelly" cultural foods and so many people have talked online about how much shame they feel over foods they love and enjoy freely at home. There's tons of references to this in Film and TV see Fresh off The Boat and even Big Fat Greek Wedding. I think it's time we start being more accepting of cultural foods in a "professional" setting. especially when these foods are gaining viral popularity and huge companies are now profiting off those flavors (Kimchi, Siracha) My partner and best friend are both Taiwanese and they've had very simliar experiences with food in their childhood that made them feel sad and othered by their peers so I'm just very sensitive and passionate about this topic. I'm not trying to criticize Ben and Christine too much bc it's a little obvious that they don't have a huge range of food they're interested in lol
It really surprised me with what Ben was saying about this, and I feel like Christine understood it slightly but definitely not to this extent. I totally agree.
@@hollieb0o339 yeah I think Christine is pretty good at understanding the bigger picture vs their own personal experiences/preferences and to be fair that’s part of what makes their podcast dynamic to listen to
I think it really depends. At my workplace most people are Hungarian (we are in Hungary) and we have national foods that are smelly. Like fish and cabbage meals. People still hate if someone starts heating that up in the common kitchen because it just smells. Same with other food that smells. Just eat stinky food at home, whatever culture
@@halasin97 you're right that there are some foods that are universally considered smelly, but the circumstances are different when someone in the cultural minority is being singled out with food that is just "different" or has a smell like spices, herbs, sea-weeds, or cold cabbage dishes like kimchi that aren't heated up (fish in the microwave I think is a universal no-no) and don't have a "smelly" smell, just an unfamiliar one.
I agree. The stress and burnout caregivers go through is awful - having experienced it myself. I also do not blame OP from keeping his money and spending it how he wants to enjoy what life he has left.
Agree, it can be exhausting (I'm the "nurse" in my family), but the children shouldn't expect the money either... also if they keep the money they can hire help to take care of the parent, other wise the OP has the rigth to do whatever he/she wants to with that money...
My parent is also chronically sick and I agree too.... It's hard because there is so many layers.... It's really difficult to have to take care of your parents, when they are the ones who took care of you... also there is much guilt if you don't..... But the kids should be able to relieve the guilt of not taking care of their father by letting him keep the money and spend it on a comfortable life! Thats what I would do.... personally.
agreed, but saying "we wont take care of you"...I wonder if there was more to it and poster is paraphrasing what THEY heard. Because that implies the kids dont care at ALL...theres a difference between taking care of a parent in old age and being their caretaker...but yeah if they still wanted the money, they're all adults, they can work a deal and I dont really disagree with the "I'm gonna enjoy my life before I cant" mentality either, although using ALL the inheritance on that makes the poster the AH...idk
I think demiloshing the daughters room without telling her beforehand is the asshole move. It would feel totally different if they told her about their plans and let her come to terms with it first. They did it behind her back.
Yeah I was so completely baffled that they didn’t even tell her they were demolishing her childhood room?? I could list out like 10 things they did wrong if I had the time but that is the most WTF to me.
I find it odd that she didn't know, just like in general. Like my mom would tell me just to tell me, even if it wasn't my room. Like "what's new with you?" "oh just tearing out that extra bedroom to make more space in the living room." "Oh cool."
@@emepleez - Yeah. Unless the poster left out details, it sounds like there is one extra bedroom in the house, aka the girl's former room. And the parents even said she could sleep on the couch if she ever lost her housing. This means there's *no guest room* ...at all. The most obvious choice would have been to turn the girl's room into a guest room, but no... the parents made quite the statement instead.
Yea like they just expected her to come back for the holidays and not react? Someone’s bedroom is so personal I’d be destroyed if I came back and it was totally gone!
One time I had a really bad cold and I blew my nose and the snot was never ending to the point where a couple people who saw started gagging and asking if I was okay with looks of disgust. Ever since then I only blow my nose in private and just sniffle and gently wipe if need be
college bedroom story hit hard as an adult thats struggled with housing in college...18, moving out, college, its a lot of change and a lot of times, the normalcy and nostalgia of our childhood bedroom is something comforting to cling to. If it were just repainting or somethng, daughter might be out of line but knocking down the walls, completely renovating it and then saying "oh you can just sleep on the couch"--I would NOT feel welcome and would probably cry because I had no touchstone. And then assuming its for holidays or something...They couldve just turned it into a guest bedroom or idk, was there any other option to reno to living room? a different wall to knock out? How small WAS it?? The way the post is written does feel very dismissive of daugters emotions ("she got all emotional", implying she was just mad she didnt have a place to sleep etc) so honestly yes it probably runs a LOT deeper than this. Speaking from experience--daughter needs to make herself be ok with it and find a way to move on, not cause her emotions dont matter but because she deserves to be around people who consider her and her feelings. the prek lunch story: "distracting" from what exactly? its lunchtime, in prek. its not test time and I'm assuming that the lunch doesnt smell much packed away...sounds like the teacher threw out a word they knew sounded powerful as a teacher to make the parent comply. ...Whats that smell? Gotta say, I agree with it being racism. the first story, lots of missing info tbh. Is the poster abusive as a parent? thats one reason kids might refuse to take care of them....I feel like its perfectly reasonable, if the kids are just like "we're not gonna take care of you" which implies professional care/nursing home, for poster to say "ok then I'm gonna have fun while I'm still able bodied/minded" and that money happens to be inheritance. If the tradition is inheritance + taking care of the parents, it's safe to assume that if you break the second tradition, the first is free to be broken too. Getting mad because you were relying on the inheritance as a tradition but refused to even prep for the other is selfish...like I said, if the poster was an abusive parent, that changes things. Also expecting kids to take care of their parents through illness when theres literally medical staff trained in it, I've seen what that does to people so the tradition to me IS unfair, but all that ca be talked out! Personally, considering they said the health problems run in the family, it'd be smarter to balance saving and going on trips, just in case. Like be a responsible adult.
Not Korean, but interested in Korean culture and makes kimchi on a regular. Kimchi is typical Korean food which is eaten in various forms to pretty much every meal. I also see Koreans eat spam on the regular. Idk if they eat those kinds of cheeses. Since I started making kimchi, I have noticed that some people really dislike the smell of cabbage while others (like me) don't even notice it smells of anything. It doesn't matter if the cabbage is fresh or fermented, some people can't stand its smell. I feel like this is similar to the coriander/Cilantro issue where some can eat it and others find it tastes like soap. As for Kimchi, it is fermented and will therefore have a fermented smell. Plus it often also contains a fermented fish sauce or fermented shrimp. The smell of this can be even more pungent than the cabbage smell. I totally understand if people don't like the smell of fermented fish/shrimp. I'm Swedish. Some people here love eating fermented herring, I don't. It has the worst smell and smells 100x worse than kimchi, blue cheese, goat cheese and spam combined. But, my dad loves the stuff so I'm somewhat used to the smell, and wouldn't feel like throwing up if someone brought fermented herring to work or school. I think the problem here is more about what you're used to than anything else. If you're only used to eating a particular range of foods, anything else could potentially smell weird to you. Besides, small children have not yet had the opportunity to try out as many different foods as adults have. Just as their flavour pallette will develop with age, their noses will too. Not exposing children to different foods will make for adults who thinks sausage is the tastiest vegetable.
This is what I was thinking too, about the cabbage - I've found that it really is the smell of cabbage prepared in certain ways in particular that is very jarring to some people or smells "like garbage". It isn't just kimchi, but like dumplings that have cabbage in them could also smell very strongly if contained for a long time, like in a lunch box.
I think you have a great take here. I’m not Korean but I never thought of kimchi as a smelly food, especially cold, which was my main confusion. Thing is, children (and adults) can have very different perceptions of the same thing and the lack of calm communication in that situation didn’t help promote mutual understanding.
for the inheritance story, I think there is no inheritance for the children. The parent got an inheritance and its up to them to decide if they will leave something for their children. If they want to use their inheritance for travel and to take care of themself in old years since the children wont help them. We dont know that the parent wouldnt decide later to spend all the money regardless of who takes care of them
This. I used to work in elder care and we tried to convince people to enjoy their own money. You don’t need to leave it to your kids. Take that vacation you always wanted to go on but didn’t because you were saving. Also, being cared for in a facility is EXTREMELY expensive. If the kids aren’t going to take care of him, then he is going to NEED that money in order to provide for himself.
Seriously. It makes me laugh that the kids are like ‘you can’t live with us, it’s too expensive’ but then turn around and say ‘wait what about *our* money?!’ Like.. maybe that money could/would go towards the expenses of taking care of your father? And if you don’t want to do that, why are you expecting extra money? Feels like a weird ‘I don’t want extra expenses but I want the extra resources’.. like whut?!
I mean, it's the parent's money, go live, travel and pay for your elder care facility that's expensive af. Both are being mean, children and parent cause it seems that their family is a very transactional driven
@@andrealadealado while I think that no one is owed the money, the more I think about it, the more angry I get at the OP. They’re the first generation leaving their kids and grandkids a worse world than they were handed. It’s no secret that economic crisis is going to be a reality of the future. OP thinks that traveling and luxury is more important than his grandkid’s security because he wouldn’t be treated like a dependant in his old age and that.. says a lot about him.
@@peacechickification but it’s ok for the kids to plan on abandoning their parent when the parent needs them? Previous older generations were able to leave more money behind because previous younger generations chose to put more work into not spending it on incredibly expensive old-age care. Many members of my dad’s family have lived long past the point of being able to take care of themselves. As the younger generation, it’s been up to my parents (and eventually me) to evaluate the cost vs effort of dealing with that. Having them live with you is significantly cheaper than not, but it’s a lot more work. My point is, the kids aren’t actually saying “we can’t afford for you to live with us”, they’re say “we don’t want to put in the effort to take care of you”. Personally, I think this is fine - it’s their choice. However, they can’t then expect to get any real inheritance because care facilities will take as much of it as they possibly can. Him taking a few vacations now isn’t going make much of a difference compared to what that’s going to cost.
You can ask people to be considerate and not to bring stinky food to work, but you could also ask people to be considerate and bear with a smell they don't like for a few minutes so that a person doesn't have to deprive themselves of their cultural foods. Consideration goes both ways. As a Korean person, I can say that yes kimchi fried rice with spam is a very common Korean dish (kimchi being traditional and spam being a product of the US occupation of South Korea), and it's very good! If I still ate spam, I would definitely eat it. And yeah, that teacher was definitely racist. I've had both teachers and kids react that way with me when I brought Korean food to school as a kid and it's not fun. Even in some workplaces I've had to deal with "wow that's ~interesting" or "what on earth is THAT" comments. It's still so weird to me that Korean flavors are trendy now in a lot of restaurants, because my memories feel super recent.
this ! I've seen people commenting about the hipocrisy, people who used to be bullied for eating a certain type of food or wearing traditional clothes and how it became trendy cause 'white people said so'
Dear teacher, we’ve put in a lot of work developing our kid’s pallet beyond chicken nuggets and fruit snacks, but I’m sorry his diverse tastes have become a distraction for the class. Perhaps they are just feeling disappointed and bored with their own PB&Js. Let’s work together on a creative solution. May I suggest a homemade Kim Chi demonstration? We could work it into your nutrition unit and discuss the science behind fermentation. Otherwise, please provide me with the school policy regarding food brought from home. I’m happy to avoid peanuts, treenuts, or anything else outlined in school policy.
In my country it's very common to eat kimchi, but I've never seen someone pack straight up solo kimchi for lunch. There's a time and place for that stuff. Not to mention the lunches are probably not refrigerated which is a potential food safety hazard.
About the “I’m the one your son puts his in”, apparently the son convinced the girlfriend that his parents would find it super funny. That’s why the mom was so able to move past it bc she realized her son was the dumbass instigator
Regarding the "smelly food" - don't kids eat their food in the cafeteria? Let the kids eat what they want, smelly or not, unless it actually harms others (like eating foods with peanuts with a kid in the class that has a severe peanut allergy). This can be a learning opportunity to learn about other cultures - for example, have an international day or someone do an overview/taste test on Korean food. If it's really stinky, assign the kid a desk by the window or classroom door so you can open it for ventilation. Also, this teacher's approach/words were completely insensitive ... she should've just said it was distracting or disruptive for other kids in the class. Don't have to call it "gross" or "smelly." Also, some people might be on specialty diets that maybe considered "stinky" ... for example, steamed broccoli.
Not every country has school cafetaria. At least where I went to school we always ate our lunch either outside or in the classroom. But yeah, totally agree that the word choice was terrible. This would have been a great opportunity to teach kids about food in different cultures.
Agreed: also, this is preschool. When are preschoolers not distracted by anything. This sounds more like a person complaint is from the teacher. I would have escalated to the principal, because I feel the teacher acted very unprofessionally. Also at the end of the day kids need to eat and they are picky eaters. And honestly, it sounds like this parent is feeding the child very healthy meals instead of lunchables or cheese it’s.
Kids in Kindergarten are literally still having bathroom accidents. They dont care about their classmates food-if anything they would just say "That smells!" Or "Ew" and then go about their day. Kindergarteners are not distracted by the food being gross, they are distracted because they are 5 years old. Its the teacher being intolerant.
In my country, Thailand, I don’t usually say exactly where I from because I got bullied a lot. I previously use my full name as the username. Then changed to random ENGLISH words, never got bullied again. But I’m pretty sure people here aren’t gonna be like that. Kindergarten here mostly eat school lunch with varieties minus spicy food. To teach them not to be picky eaters. You don’t want to eat, then you don’t get to eat. But we do have the advantages of genetics, food allergies almost doesn’t found in Asian people. On the unrelated note regarding food allergies. I’m concern If any of you westerners want to visit please remember. So apologize for such a long reply. Since food allergies almost doesn’t found in Asian people, a lot of them…. and I mean A TONS, especially OLDER Generation (and their stubbornness), don’t even know food allergies EVEN EXSIST. Food sellers besides in hotels that catering for westerners, mostly don’t understand contamination. For example the famous Pad Thai contains peanuts. If you say “no peanuts” they gonna just don’t sprinkle peanuts, don’t clean the wok, or worst completely ignored your request. Find the words that you needed in that language. Saved or print them to show the food sellers. I recommend fine western blogs who highly experienced in the country you interested. Some words that might be useful in Thai. That I can think of Food = อาหาร Allergic/Allergies = แพ้ Food allergies = แพ้อาหาร Sick = ป่วย Deathly = ถึงตาย Or say “If you put…(something) …in the food, I won’t buy for it” most likely shut them up real fast.
The argument that Mila and Ashton are selfish towards their kids comes a lot from people that believe very strongly in building and protecting "generational wealth". This probably comes from people whose families had to overcome rough situations, so it is understandable that they wouldn't want their kids to experience the same thing. But what they don't understand is that Mila and Ashton would never let their kids starve, they're just trying to raise independent people in a family where they have an overabundance of financial security and privilege. Nothing wrong with that, imo.
Agreed! As someone who grew up with nothing and works for everything I have, I hope to be able to support my someday-children in some ways. But I also want them to be independent and work for things! I think there can be a good balance.
Yes, this. Like if the kids future house burned down, I doubt they would refuse to help... if the kids are just choosing to be "lazy" and not work and expects wealth because it exists, the parents shouldn't pay for it. Not just with Mila and Ashton but anyone who has wealth.
Agreed. Their kids will have the benefits of their parents money in many ways, including access/connections that many people will never have. I truly appreciate their sentiment, and I think their children will still be in significantly better positions than most children to earn and grow their own wealth.
screaming to the sky that you missed some additional info abt the meeting parents aita: the son told her to say it despite knowing his mom hates those jokes and didn’t defend the girlfriend right away like. garbage man
I think the preschool teacher was being problematic because they refused to explain exactly what foods were the problem. And for me, that raises a red flag. If you were concerned about Doritos being unhealthy for the kid, for example, you probably would just come out and name that specific example and say why you're concerned. Being vague about the "smelliness" and "distraction" makes me think the teacher has a problem with the cultural foods like the kimchi and is afraid to say it because on some level they know it's going to sound racist. Leaving it up to the parent to decide which foods are "distracting" and which ones aren't is probably going to result in the parent packing stereotypical American foods just because they don't know what else is safe (assuming the parent tries to comply). And that's not right.
I can't imagine that the other kids are *not* bringing things like Doritos, just the "normal" kids will be bringing them in Doritos baggies and not with any added homemade deliciousness. And unless it's a can of surströmming or something, cultural food is just cultural food. 10 cents says the teacher wants to bring the evils of CRT into the discussion but hasn't figured out a way to do it without looking completely idiotic.
You think "smelliness" is vague? when I was a kid I got SUSPENDED because a teacher dubbed my food (that she's never tried) "disgusting". It was ketchup mixed with applesauce. Teacher's will complain about anything they view as abnormal and call it a "distraction" just so they don't have to look at it. In this case they probably were being racist, but that's not always the case, they'll do it to "American foods" they don't like too.
Oh my God. Effin finally. Every time I hear a story that somebody hijacked somebody else’s event for whatever reason, I always think out loud “whenever somebody tries to do that at your event, embarrass the ABSOLUTE F out of them”.
I'm a little disappointed in the handling of the proposal at the housewarming party story. Maybe it's just me, but buying a house is a huge accomplishment. It's the culmination of a career successful enough to be able to save for an incredibly major purchase, the track record to prove that, and the discipline to do the saving. I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to enjoy that moment, and to see two people in a privileged position dismiss all of that work as unworthy of celebration is disheartening. I think those folks deserved a moment to celebrate.
I keep seeing this comment and I don't think Ben was downplaying buying a house. I think it was more so the party itself. I'm not a homeowner but I'm saving a working towards it, and I will feel such a sense of accomplishment once I buy a house. However, someone proposing at my wedding would feel like a bigger faux pas to me than someone proposing at my housewarming party. I can have other celebrations acknowledging that I bought a house, which is a different situation than a wedding day.
The house warming/proposal story had some more context in the comments (or maybe an update, I'm not sure) where OP added that he spoke out against his partners brother doing this at her house warming because he has a history of doing things to undermine his sister's accomplishments, celebrations, etc, and this was the final straw for OP so... Yeah, NTA and fuck the brother if this was some petty bullshit to fuck with his sister
The thing that bugs me about the daughters bedroom is.. That's not an immediate thing to do, it takes a few weeks and she's only been gone a few months. So to have done that, without warning her or telling her, really would feel like they did it the moment you left. Don't think they are AH for doing it but they went about it badly
A few years ago my mom told me "You better be nice to Bob (my step dad) because I cut you out of the will and everything is going to him" just said that to me out of the blue. Alright mom, thanks for the heads up.
A lot of these seem to be communication issues or social misunderstandings. I feel like we could do so much better as a society if we could stop expecting everybody else to act a specific way
The smelly food thing: what is 'smelly' or not is cultural! Even Durian! I've been to Bali a few times and durian is everywhere! Culturally it is loved
I completely agree about your perspective on anticipating a 'pay out' for a beneficiary based on when someone dies. This has always made me uncomfortable when friends of mine have talked about getting an inheritance after a grandparent dies. Especially when they are basing their future goals solely on if they get that money sooner rather than later, and do no work of their own to achieve those personal goals. It makes me fell like they value the money more than the time they have with that person.
As a Korean who lived in Korea for most of my life, I personally don't understand the choice of packing kimchi for lunch every single day in an environment that is not mostly Koreans. If it were every once in a while, sure, but everyday??? Even Koreans in Korea avoid packing kimchi on fieldtrips and stuff in fear of kimchi juice dripping onto their bags and stinking up the bus. I love Kimchi but at the same time it's definitely an acquired taste/smell so I personally think it's courtesy to not bring it to a workplace/school everyday. That being said, the teacher does seem racist by the way they worded it.
A Korean woman named Shelly(her 'white' name she called it) lived with us for a decade, some of her food stank(like the kimchi and these fish scales she'd cook directly on the glass cooktop😂), but she was my auntie and made the best food I've ever had in my life. Fried rice in the morning, chicken katsu, banana lumpia; my siblings loved her Kahlua pig, bolgogi, kimchi and pretty much anything else she made! Cheers!!
For the proposal one, did they ask if it was okay for them to propose at their house warming or not. That is important. If they didn't then that is an AH move, if they did (though it seems like they didn't) why didn't she bring it up to the OP about it.
I feel like the people hijacking other events to propose 1) are risking ruining the vibe if the other party doesn’t say yes, and b) are doing it for the convenience of having a ready made party they didn’t have to plan and pay for. It’s rude on a lot of levels.
the demolishing thing hits home for me rn, i am moving out of my parents' house in the next week to move in with my partner of two years, i'm almost 22 and he's 26. my parents have been talking about what they're going to do with my room once i leave, how they're excited to have their pantry/refrigerator/cabinet spaces back, the lessened spending on food, lower bills, etc. but are rarely discussing how they will miss me/my company. i would be broken if i come by in just a few weeks from now and saw they extended the living room off of my room into my space, because it's actually quite possible for them to do so. i have a feeling it's going to take a complete 180 once i actually leave though. hopefully.
Ben's not necessarily wrong about the smelly food, its the fact that the teacher had an attitude about it. She started out being unreasonable which leads me to believe she was being racist, rather than trying to stop the smells.
Maybe it's being Canadian and financially stable that has Ben and Cristine not thinking buying a house is a HUGE deal. That could have been decades of hard work. I don't think it's narcissistic to want to celebrate that.
When I was in elementary school, the smell of ranch would make me completely sick/gag. I never threw a fit about other people having ranch around me. I don't like confrontation either, though lmao
For the inheritance story: I don’t think that the children are owed money, nor is the parent owed to be cared for in their old age by their children. That being said- for a boomer to decide to be the end of the line of the inheritance is.. troubling to me. They literally had the most economic success in their lifetimes. They are the first generation leaving their children a worse world than they received. So to be in the ‘can get a good job without university, but could get a better job with university that could be paid for with a summer job, and could buy a house within a decade of working said jobs’ generation, and also be the end of the generational wealth? Icky icky icky icky. Makes me wonder what the rest of the relationship is like. Feels like a chicken or the egg of why the kids don’t want to house the parent in their old age..
I don't agree with Ben on the food one. I don't think it's on the parent to not bring smelly food. There is curry, kimchi, thai salad and all kinds of strong smelling food in other cultures they are completely acceptable. Why should one change their culture and conform to what the western society consider "smelly". The times I was told my food was disgusting, I felt so ashamed of my culture in the past. But look at all the food shows now, all those things I got made fun of is now featured and accepted.
I find it really weird he brought up shawarma as stinky... When it's just a meat wrap? Why is that considered stinky when you can just not have garlic sauce? Also a chicken sandwich with ranch sauce is functionally similar, I wonder if Ben and his coworkers eat that outside the office?
I kinda agree with Ben. Everyone in the comments is trying o make it about culture and race when it really doesn't need to be. I think bringing fish for example to an office and microwaving it there is not very appropriate and I don't see how this is different.
@@ciomrion2816 yeah I've heard this argument before, doesn't change the fact that it still hurts me and how i feel about my ethnic background. To the recipient of those comments it's 100% about culture.
@@mousysaint9143 I've seen somewhere that in Korea they brush their teeth after every meal mainly due to the amount of garlic and fermented foods that are consumed at almost every meal, which certainly have a stronger smell. Garlic sauce has a strong odour, and it lingers. I don't think that has anything to do with culture, just happens that some cultures eat foods that have stronger odours, especially raw garlic & onion. I personally love the taste of kimchi and other fermented foods, but I can understand that some people find the smell unpleasant
I am Filipino and find certain Filipino foods absolutely disgusting in terms of smell (despite tasting good). I would never bring those to public, but enclosed, spaces out of courtesy. I would also hate to be forced into an enclosed situation with food that someone else brought that made me want to vomit, like fish paste. To be fair, I think I have sensory issues with scents specifically, but still. That said, the way the teacher went about it was just not right.
It’s my opinion that the teacher was being a bully trying to shame the mother for packing the lunch which the child likes. It’s too much for anyone to complain as long as the child is eating the food. I will investigate how the teacher handled this.
For the proposal: a housewarming is not a wedding, but it’s a huge achievement, especially when doing it alone. I would be ecstatic to purchase a home, and I would be really annoyed if someone did that without asking me. They didn’t just share their news; the guy made it a spectacle in front of everyone. Distracting from the purpose of the celebration is rude.
For the daughter's bedroom scenario, I'm surprised that they didn't even casually mention it to their daughter. When I talk with my parents over the phone, we update each other on things that are going on in our lives. For me personally, I would be very surprised if my parents didn't mention a major renovation in their house (even if it was just replacing the shingles on the roof). I agree that there is something more to this story regarding the parents' relationship with their daughter.
Damn, I'm over 40 and I still have my teenage room at my mom's house! I would be upset if the room was gone with no warning! It's like your safe space! And I only sleep there on the holidays mostly! And the girl was so young!!!
I think ben is probably just ignorant of the fact that a lot of immigrant and bipoc children often get bullied over their 'smelly' lunch when really it's just a regular cultural dish they commonly eat. As a kid I remember being scared to bring food that my parents would cook into school (I'm Chinese) and would instead opt for pizzas, hot dogs etc. which was probably the less healthy option. The fact of the matter is that if I brought something that potentially smelled bad to the white kids at my school I would get comments and bullied for it. Like ben getting shawarma for lunch because he likes it is different from a kid who is bringing a cultural food to school, if that child is shamed and bullied for it, it is massively detrimental to their self concept and relationship to their culture. Imagine as you are eating your sandwich or some other inoffensive white people food somebody came up and was like 'ew that looks so disgusting, how are you even eating that' wouldn't that make you want to stop eating sandwiches? Wouldn't it make you feel gross and like your culture is disgusting? So my opinion is that people should eat whatever they want whenever they want (excluding considerations for allergies) because most times these restrictions on 'smelly' food only affect bipoc people's food choices. The teacher was being racist because these ideas that foreign foods are gross and less acceptable is an idea born from systemic racism and xenophobia. Ben and Cristine need to consider that not everyone is white and maybe they should refrain from commenting on situations like these because they come off as uneducated and out of touch.
That new girlfriend story is very reminiscent of the game Facade 🤣🤣 Lol those parents aren't assholes, they were uncomfortable and are not obligated to just be uncomfortable for a whole evening. The way that ended was definitely the best course of action 😌
On the proposal one: If the reason he proposed at that event is because the family was all together, imo, thats annoying and lazy. If your proposal is important to you plan an event yourself, don't try to usurp someone else's party and attempt to turn it into a celebration for you.
As someone who works with kindergarten, the only time I questioned a child's lunch is when they only packed a lunchable and nothing else. Even then, we just ask the kids if they want a school lunch along with their home lunch (as it is free for all students in our district currently). Side note: we ask the parents not to send in microwavable dishes with kindergarten unless the children are familiar with doing it themselves, and not to send sodas.
I’m studying for a citizenship exam and decided to take a break and eat a few slices of pizza…I just saw this video in the feed and it was kismet! Nothing could be better than a study break with Simply Podlogical ❤
Here's my thought about demolishing the daughter's room. Her room growing up was one of the first versions of "personal space" she had, a room completely representing her, that she had a say in decorating, how to use it, a private space closed off from everyone else etc. When you move out for college, you still have a level of personal space, but now you're sharing it with a roommate, a partner, whoever, so when you come back home, you look forward to coming into that personal space that you decided on everything for. I think they should have talked to her first, and asked if it was okay, because demolishing it without any input from the daughter can read as "well we don't respect your personal space, and this thing that represents you, and we don't respect your input either". I don't think she's entitled or spoiled, I think she just wanted to be included in this decision that removed her personal space growing up, a space that represented her, and that she was attached to. And to do it within months of moving away to college is definitely a little rushed, I don't think she would've reacted that way if it had happened a year down the line or farther. It happened within what, 8 months? In the grand scheme of things that's a short amount of time. If the parents wouldn't like it if someone did it to them, they shouldn't do it to the kids, is my opinion
Ben must have forgotten how picky kids are. Kids tend to only want to eat the same things. There's a large possibility the mom doesn't have other options to feed her kid
My first thought, before they got to actually describing the foods in the second screenshot was "is it kimchi?" And I agree with Ben here - I love kimchi but I acknowledge that it has a powerful smell, especially if it's been sitting in a container for a bit. I wouldn't bring it to work for that reason because I think it's inconsiderate to have my coworkers smell that, but I enjoy it all the time at home or at restaurants where people have the context that they will be smelling strong foods like kimchi. That said, the teacher handled this very poorly and rudely. I definitely think the teacher is the asshole in this situation and the parent is not at fault for packing their child's favourite foods, but I would still acknowledge that certain foods have a stronger smell than others that can be considered inconsiderate to bring to lunch. Like I think it is a fair thing to bring up politely if you think it's inconsiderate to the other children, but if the parent says "my kid loves this, it's their favourite food" then that is their prerogative and you just respect it, and maybe try to turn it into a teaching moment for the other children about cultural foods. If I were the parent I may be concerned that my child would be ostacized or made fun of for being the 'smelly lunch kid' because kids can be cruel, but the teacher absolutely did not have to phrase it the way she did. I definitely think that is grounds for a complaint of some sort with the school and the teacher was out of line in the way she approached the subject. I am seeing in the comments that a lot of people don't consider kimchi smelly so I guess it is subjective, but to me I think opening a sealed jar of kimchi has a similar effect as bringing durian with you. To me, it's something that without the context of "I am smelling food" you can mistake it for something rotting and that can be jarring for people unfamiliar with it. Even without the cultural aspect I can see certain cheeses having this reputation too, for example, where if you don't recognize or have the context that you are smelling cheese, you can find it very pungent and unpleasant until you realize what it is.
11:30 I disagree with you because it is the Posters inheritance. So it's less, "well I'm spending your inheritance," and more, "I'm spending my inheritance, that I could give to you"
Coulda been the blue cheese that was upsetting the A-hole teacher, but yeah, as an adult in charge of so many children, they should know to prioritize a kid actually eating their daily food over however that food smells to them
I'm not Korean but I agree, at this age it should be about doing what makes the child most happy and if eating kimchi for lunch is that then why deny him that?
Is anyone else yelling that the 1st poster did not rub it in the children’s face that he was spending their inheritance on vacations. The child asked how he was paying for it and he told them the truth of where the money was coming from. That is not being petty answering a question honestly.
On the ruined proposal story, the OP says in the comments that the bother CONSTANTLY does stuff during the sisters' special moments to bring the attention on him.
Regarding the first one, I think what Cris missed is the daughter literally asked how he was paying for the trip, he did not volunteer that information. It’s very strange she even asked that question. They seem to have a very transactional relationship.
My first week as an employee at Walmart I overheard a woman calling for help in the bathroom. I walked in and she was at the sink washing herself dressed like Winnie the Pooh (nothing on the bottom.) she explained she had an “accident” and was cleaning herself up while her husband purchased some new clothing and wanted me to find him because he was taking a long time. So that’s something far worse that happened than blowing your nose. lol
Just my 20 cents on the inheritance thing: firs of all, it would be interesting to know wether there were any previous arrangements or promises regarding the money (the daughter says 'their grandparents promised them'). Bc the girl's reaction would be more understandable if her mother had previously promised her that they would inherit and changed her mind afterwards. Secondly, the way it's phrased kinda makes me think that the parent only started to spend the money when she thought her children weren't gonna take care of her the way she expected. I would understand that she then started to make arrangements for herself (i.e. starting a savings account for her future expenses, like a nursing home or medical bills), but she used it for traveling. Don't get me wrong, she has every right to pamper herself with her own money, but the way it's worded sounds more like she's taking revenge (that's why she makes it clear to her children that she's specifically using the inheritance money to travel). And, while it's wrong to think you're entitled to your parents money, it's also wrong to use the inheritance as a way to blackmail your children into doing what you want. That stance is childish and petty.
General Rule of Thumb: Do not propose at someone else's event without getting their permission beforehand.
Yup 100% Ask first. No matter what the event is. This was super special to his girlfriend who knews what they had to go to get that house.
also honestly just dont propose at someone elses wedding...people do it cause its "romantic" but it will ALWAYS appear to the guests like youre trying to upstage. Unless everyone besides the one getting proposed to knows...its just a bad idea imho
I’ve seen a bit more of this story too, and I think it was just more reflective of the brother making a habit of taking attention away from his sister
Absolutely, not at someone’s party. Don’t even ask.
Not sure a housewarming qualifies as a party tho.
Have to be careful if strangers are at the dinner, proposee may not like it.
It kinda seems like a way for the brother to get a ready made engagement party with zero effort. If I was his girlfriend I would be pissed as well as his sister and brother in law.
Christine and Ben giggling at each other and making up a whole legal argument about the proposal story was the most unhinged and hilarious moment in this podcasts history :P
Subject matter jurisdiction!!
I’ve seen the proposal story before, the brother CONSTANTLY tries to upstage his sister because he’s the ✨golden child✨ that’s why the sister wasn’t mad at the boyfriend for standing up for her.
Please tell me you heard this story from Charlotte Dobre! ❤❤ 😅
This is why having the full picture matters
My brother is the golden child but I'm spoiled too..no complaint, I can sponge on him too 😂
@@stefstuff2563 YES! Petty x holo crossover
@@AmusedGiraffe omg yyaass!! The crossover I didn't know I needed 🤣🤣💕💕💕
Kimchi is quintessentially Korean and I’d say the teacher was definitely hugely insensitive at best and racist at worst. Kimchi isn’t what I would consider particularly smelly. As someone who had kids in school judge me for my food it would be better for the teacher to teach the kids to accept other people’s food/cultures and not force the kid to have to eat like the other kids. That’ll just make them feel less accepted for their culture and having to forcible conform for others.
Agree. Kimchi isn't smelly at all and it doesn't even have a distinguished smell like durian. Idk why a teacher will go out of their way to say this when kids don't even complain to her. It is sad to see people make kids conform to general and not embracing their own culture. I find the smell of Mc Donnald weird and greasy but I wouldn't care if someone brings fast food into the room and eat it.
Smell is different to most people, i think Kimchi is SUPER smell and ugh smelling. But i don't tell people around me to stop eatting it my SO loves it. But i don't stop him from eatting it. Thats the way it goes.
Half-Korean and I grew up with Kimchi and never thought it smelly- but I remember my white grandmother making comments on how smelly the Kimchi was in our family’s fridge. It really opened my eyes that some people don’t like the smell when I’ve always thought it was fine
@@Sodaairsoft Especially a child! Adults can accept maybe trading out something that has a strong smell in their lunch but the parent having to then explain to their child why they can't have their favourite foods in their lunch is heartbreaking!
Agreed about the kimchi however the user also said blue cheese and goat cheese which perhaps is the main culprit of the smell. I am particularly grossed out by the smell of blue cheese.
My current school has a rule against popcorn, fish or any inherently very strong smelling foods going in our microwaves or to be eaten in general in the lunch room. I found that rule to be rather fair. If other children are getting distracted by the scent of this child’s lunches I don’t see why the mother cannot modify it. Ie: keep the kimchi and spam but change out the strong odour cheeses for something else her son enjoy.
The “smelly food” Argument is so annoying… I used to work for an early intervention and it was always really tough because parents send their kids in with food that they thought was the norm rather than actually food that they would eat so the kids will go hungry and get even more cranky. I used to ask the parents to bring in any food that they like to eat…no matter what it was because I would prefer a child be fed and not be fed at all. That teacher was extremely insensitive and completely the asshole
This. I think Cristine and Ben are forgetting that this is a 5yr old. Little kids are more likely to go hungry than eat something they don’t wanna eat. Especially if it’s a routine.
Also, don't children still eat in CAFETERIAS?? A room that's dedicated to eating? Like come on
@@commanderwaddles3483 depends on the age group. I’m in a pre-k classroom now and we eat in our classroom because they are still so little.
@@staceyd6475 i did also eat in my classroom in prek! i went to prek in the early 2000s though so some could change
I said it in another chain, but Ben and Cristine are pretty much white and ignorant. Hate to be that person, but that’s the truth right now.
Proposal story - Possible hot take. If you’re going to propose at someone else’s event (no matter what it is) you need prior approval before doing so. You’re hijacking the effort, time, and money the planner put into the event for your own event so they need to be okay with it.
Totally agree!!!
I heard this story on the Two Hot Takes podcast and they had a good discussion about it the story went on to mention the GF (owner of the house) was used to this kind of behaviour out of her family because her brother was the “golden child” she got her moment stolen and I’m sure countless others throughout their childhood the poster was definitely NTA he was standing up for his girlfriend having another important moment be outshined by her brother
I don't think that's a hot take at all. I think it's the only appropriate choice.
@@kylaheaton I had a feeling there must be further context with the family since the boyfriend was so quick to intervene. If it was a one off, I doubt he would have reacted like that. So icky on the family’s part.
My sister is a kindergarten teacher. She has a student who comes with junk food as lunch. My sister asked the mom “is your daughter supposed to be picking up a school lunch and eating these at snack time or the items in her bag for lunch?” The mother told my sister the items were the daughters lunch because the daughter is a picky eater and my sister dropped it. Is it a healthy nutritious lunch? No, is it my sister’s job to correct the parents decision? absolutely not.
Besides sometimes it is best to ensure your child is eating during the day is the best decision while working on their eating
Sometimes the best food for your child is the food they eat. That healty lunch isn't doing anything for the kids health if they don't eat it and it just go moldy in the lunch box.
@@marieprestegard2495yep! Healthier eating something than not at all
Ben saying a housewarming event isn't that important is killing me. This girl just bought her very first home, that's a huge deal. Maybe if this is the second or third housewarming party, I could see what he's saying. But come on. Even then, just don't take away from other people's celebratory events without asking permission.
Buying your first home IS a milestone worth celebrating; I would definitely want people to celebrate uninterrupted with me. I think what Ben is saying is, it's nothing like proposing unexpectedly at another person's wedding.
@supermustashdomo it may not be the same as at a wedding, but it's still rude. A slap on the arm may hurt less than a slap on the face, but it's still not okay. People need to just let others have their moments. If he wanted to propose with family around, he can plan his own event.
Same, if I even get a chance to buy a house I would be furious if someone said it wasn't a big mile stone
@@wiccanworm This! I don't think he was saying it isn't a milestone. But rather in the grandscheme of things someone proposing at a wedding is seen as waaay more of a faux pas than proposing at a housewarming.
8:10 cos the child asked the poster how he was going to pay for the trip.
it's not fair to expect your kids to take care of you when old but it's also not fair to expect your parents to save a bunch of money just to give (adult) you
Absolutely.
I feel like the reason they got so upset (and why i would be upset too) is because if my parents told me oh i saved this money for you when i pass and then i do something that upsets them (saying i dont want to live with you) then they come back with fine then i will just spend your inheritance. That isnt fair
I agree but I also suspect there is more to the story.
@@helendrew3640 same because i thought i heard them say something about the money our grandparents left us so im wondering if its like a trust kind of situation or something.
exactly, the parent definitely wasnt the asshole
There is additional context from the OP ruining the proposal. It wasn’t the first time that her family hijacked her events so she was use to this kind of treatment.
33:07 As someone who lives in a country were you should save for 30+ years to buy a house, I would be so effing mad if this happened, I wouldn't stop it but I would be so mad. Its the op's gf first house, we don't know the sacrifices the gf made and he /did/ say she put so much effort in the party itself.
25:29 Christine creating a hypothetical where Ben is abandoned on an island is the most long-term-couple thing ever 😂😂
As a 30-yr old married woman with my own house, I (& my brother) have always had a room at the houses my parents lived in when we moved out. Every time I come home, my mom would always say "You know that this is your home and you will always have a room/be welcomed here" Of course those rooms are technically guest rooms since we don't live there, but they're even decorated with our pictures of childhood. That makes me sad that they took her childhood room away so early into her adulthood (and honestly at 18 you're still a kid) and without discussing it with her.
We have a 28 yr old daughter who is coming home for her Masters' internship in May. Not only is her room there, but she is redecorating it when she gets here. Our kids are the biggest joy in our lives. She graduated with her BA about 5 years ago (after a change of major). So she has massive debt. That room will always be hers.
Not all parents feel this way though and it doesn’t mean they’re bad parents. It means they have a small house without space to dedicate to a family member who doesn’t love their anymore.
Another thing I wanna add about the preschool child is that from what I understand the child probably is a picky eater and just really only likes to eat what his mom packs for lunch everyday. And for a mom what's more important for you is that your child eats than packing them something that doesn't smell that much just because the teacher is complaining about how "distracting" the food is. (I'm not a mom or anything but at least that's my understanding of it)
I was thinking the same thing! It's so much more important that the child actually eats the food it needs to grow and have its brain work properly!
i was thinking the same, because children rarely eat outside of home before pre school so maybe this kid is only used to certain foods, so the teacher should have been more understanding (especially if they are in a place that is racially diverse) Also, if it were a general complaint i could be more towards reaching an agreement like maybe send "smelly" food once a week until everyone in the classroom gets used to it and then send it more frequently but it seems is just a teacher problem with the smell rather then a general complaint
Would’ve been a great opportunity for the teacher to teach her classroom (and apparently herself) a lesson on kindness and understanding everyone’s diverse needs. The child could’ve had a food allergy and was only eating certain foods at the time. It was absolutely inappropriate for her to speak to the child’s mom that way.
I am a mom and my only concern and top priority would be that my child is eating. some kids can have sensory issues, some are autistic and have repetitive behaviors, others are just too poor to afford other foods... that teacher sounds horrible.
100% and maybe I have a different perspective but Cristine is right, smell is subjective, and forcing assimilation is always dangerous
Re: parents renovating - wow, when the scenario was explained, my first thought was "I wonder how long they'd been planning that renovation?" and I absolutely understood why the daughter was so hurt. I think if her parents had said to her beforehand, "hey we're thinking that its time to expand the living room, but we'd have to knock down the wall in your old room to do it - do you want to talk about it before we go ahead?" and given her an opportunity to voice her feelings, she'd have probably been really open to it, but to be blindsided by it was pretty inconsiderate on the part of her parents.
If she's a sentimental person it would be nice to be able to see or spend time in her childhood room one last time before it's gone forever. The lack of communication before demolishing is the key issue, IMO.
I mean, I'd be upset, because as was mentioned, my first thought would be "what if things don't work out with my boyfriend" or "what if something happens and I have to come home", because then I'd feel like I wouldn't even have my own space anymore
To say a housewarming isn’t an important event is a shocking take. That girl worked hard and bought a whole house. That is an achievement that should be celebrated. It’s always crazy to me when people find weddings more important than college graduations or home buying. Get your priorities straight.
But they're ALL important events that deserve respect and consideration. Some families put emphasis over more things than others. In a wealthy family that has several pieces of real estate, a first home could be like another pair of socks. In families who deeply value marriage, it might be a bigger deal for a family that leaves absolutely no room to accept divorce as an option, and marriage is a final choice and a kick-off from the family to be gone. We may not all choose what things to emphasize because of each family's value system. To young folks who have never driven a car or had responsibilities, asking for their 15th ride that month might balk at being asked for gas money. It's all recognition and perspective.
It's a huge milestone whether or not the guests agree. If you care about the event and the person you should know it's important for the person, and if it's important for them, IT IS IMPORTANT, There's no: "for me it's not, it's subjective", cause if you are invited you should respect that. I'm not even saying if the proposal was right or wrong, I'm just talking It apart, like you responding to what Ben and Justine said and how they think certain situations are more important than others FOR DIFFERENT PEOPLE. We should not compare people's milestones or achievements, life events or life decisions. I'm just saying that if someone achieves something that matters to them, Then said thing IS IMPORTANT, just because of that.
Weddings ARE more significant. How can you say buying a home or graduating presides over love? That's insane.
@@yiyangremus you can love without marriage.
@@momahl114 Except you're not fully committed if you believe in marriage as an end goal. Which is 99% of people. And families aren't merged.
The story about the parents demolishing their daughter's room right away is so upsetting! They had every right to do it, but they should have simply communicated that intention with her, or even at least told her that it'd been done. It looks like she just came home and didn't expect to find her room demolished. Like wow, clearly they don't care about her coming back or visiting (which most parents do), but also, sometimes your old room is just a place you're attached to. Having it destroyed within a few months without even knowing can be really sad. It's odd that the parents didn't realise that yes, that could make someone emotional.
I find it odd that she didn't know, just like in general. Like my mom would tell me just to tell me, even if it wasn't my room. Like "what's new with you?" "oh just tearing out that extra bedroom to make more space in the living room." "Oh cool."
@@theelodown34 lmao I’m trying to picture this conversation with my dad and stepmom. I’m approaching 32, and my room is basically the same as when I left at 18. I did go to college across the country and haven’t lived nearby since then, so I think they’ve liked having it to ensure it’s easy for me to visit. Thankfully, it was decorated in a pretty generic way and has served as a nice little guest room over the years, but they still call it my room. I’ve lived there for a month or so during transitions over the years, and it’s been a solid landing space for me. That being said, they have a pretty tiny house, so if they wanted more living space, I would’ve been receptive to it with a conversation. I probably would’ve been shocked to come home with that room gone.
@@alwaysemilia I'm 33 and have never had my own room in their current house. But they have a guest room for me, which used to be my brother's room. Before he moved out, I had a twin bed in my dad's office. Always had a bed, even it wasn't my bedroom. This story is just weird and kind of sad to me.
@@theelodown34 but she still has a couch in her parent's house, so she can still sleep there if needed. I still think it's weird they didn't tell her about it beforehand, but also a bit entitled to expect the room to be there forever. Like they said in the video, the problem seems to be bigger than the room, on both sides, the parents not comunicating with the daughter and her blowing it out of proportion and accusing them they wanted to get rid of her...
"It's not an appropriate venue for this legal exchange" sent me 🤣
RE: daughter's room - it's weird they didn't even talk to her about "hey we're renovating" it was just a surprise. Living with a boyfriend is not a stable environment for many women, being dependent on a boy with feeling like there's no safety net can lead to staying in a bad relationship.
This is such a good point - she's only 18 and I would guess living with the boyfriend was meant to be more of a temporary situation. And rent is so ridiculously expensive now. I can see how the daughter would feel she has no safe place to go.
Also what happened to the rest of her stuff? Like imagine packing for college, then coming back and all the stuff you couldn't take with you is gone or in storage, and you no longer have a private bedroom 😭
Was coming into the comments to say just this!! As a girl who moved out with my ex when I was 18 and eventually came back home it would have caused me a lot of anxiety if that had happened to me. Especially if no one told me before I moved out or before they made the final decision to do it. I would have felt anxious knowing I didnt have anywhere stable to live if things with my boyfriend didn’t work out. Even if at the time of the room getting renovated we were still together and happy, it still would’ve put a lot of pressure on our relationship in my mind
i think the thing ben isn't taking into consideration about the food smells at school is that this is a small child. if they don't get packed food they like, they won't eat. and the child will either throw it out, which is a waste, or just leave it in the container the food came in. either way, the kid won't eat and is possibly gonna spend the his school day without eating
Yes! As someone who has worked in education with small children for 10 years, this is absolutely a valid concern. Little ones can be extremely picky and it can affect their focus and energy during a long school day if they don’t eat at all
As someone who didn't eat for the whole school day since grade 2 (age 7) up till now (university, 20s) because I only got packed white bread with jam and a slice of cheese when I was little and have since gotten used to only eating at max one meal a day (no breakfast either because again white bread with jam and a lukewarm cup of no fat milk ew), YES! I'd rather go hungry and not eat till dinner than have the exact same unhealthy thing twice a day every single day. There were some days I brought an apple or a banana or some leftovers that I would eat. But when the only option was white bread with or without jam, then no.
Just imagine a child that has sensibilities to food being forced to take food they can't and won't eat! May it be them just being picky or having mild intolerances or issues with textures, whatever it is, they will just not eat and maybe develop some sort of ED.
Instagram and such are already making such a huge impact on eating habits of preteens, let's not push these issues onto younger and younger children.
(Sorry if anything seems weird, English is my third language and I'm bad at conveying stuff)
this is exactly what i was thinking !! like if it was an adult i would understand but the kid isn’t gonna understand why and like you said will probably just not eat
for the proposal story-- it seems like the brother purposefully waited for his sister to not be in the room to propose, if you wanted it to be a family thing and didn't expect any issues, wouldn't you want everyone in the room? seems like he was trying to steal her thunder for whatever reason
also the teacher in the lunch story is either racist or pregnant, because kimchi really isn't stinky. You have to get pretty up close and personal for it to really have any scent. Like, there might be some smell if you're heating it up because it's cabbage, but every kids' lunch has the potential of smelling 'bad'.
@@jinkiismswhat i was thinking!! I dislike kimchi but usually don't mind eating with people that are eating it because i genuinely can't smell it until I'm sticking it close to my face lol
Also she might be pregnant, but calling anyone's food disgusting is not okay. For that reason, I'll say she's racist.
I don't see any justification for calling it that even if you cannot stand someone's food.
@@jinkiisms the teacher also didn’t say it was all about the stickiness of the food but that it was “distracting” which speaks to “this isn’t normal” and that’s pretty gross for a teacher to say.
The girlfriend meeting the parents for the first time I followed along with that one, and it turns out that the boyfriend/son actually put her up to it. He said that his parents would be fine with that joke, and then didn’t stand up for her or say that he said it to try to like relieve that tension. Poor girl.
yikes, that's terrible :(
Oh wow, that's a whole other layer of wtf-ery. It sounds like nobody is really communicating anything useful. Boyfriend says "she's the one"... mother is horrified at the "joke" and father ain't happy either. Boyfriend acts like his parents did something wrong, girlfriend is... probably an ongoing abuse victim raised by abusers, to go along with any of it.
I don't feel bad for her, you don't say that even if your bf tells you to
@@katc2040 If your bf of over a year tells you to make a stupid joke to his parents, it seems reasonable that she would take his word for it. She'd never met them and they're HIS parents, so of course she'd take his word for it that it was okay to say.
Before we started officially dating, my boyfriend referred to me to his family as his "lady friend" and he outright told his uncle before I met him that I "give great head." He has that kind of family with an "everything goes" kind of mentality in regards to jokes.
Some families are different and don't care about that kind of shit.
I feel bad for everyone involved because this seems just like a huge miscommunication. The son thought his parents would think the stupid joke was funny, told his girlfriend to say it, and they didn't find it unfortunately.
@@cheyenne6913 like, sure, it’s not her fault believing his word for it. But I would definitely wait at least an hour to try anything, make sure to understand the base rules and if they’re comfortable joking like that with the girlfriend
Ya’ll didn’t mention one aspect (RE: daughters bedroom renovation) that I found very relevant -- seems they never even told her they were demolishing her room ?? -- coming home to EXPECT your room to be there, and finding it gone is probably the most-likely way to make this more emotional and conflictual … and I have to wonder why they never had a single conversation with her about it?? It’s either a calculated choice (which leads me to suspect they KNOW it’s the wrong move), or they never considered her feelings at all (which is another can of worms).
I’m in my mid-20s and my parents still have a room I can sleep in at their house… they have every right NOT to have this, and it wouldn’t really offend me if they told me they were going to tear down the wall -- but if I came to town to visit and it was suddenly gone, I would def feel some sort of way. Like… oh? You never told me.. uhhh should I get a hotel room or…? (Rational or not) My feelings would be hurt. It’s YOUR PARENTS and your childhood home - no matter how old you get, that’s going to bring up emotions. Some people would be more emotional abt it - some less - most parents know how a child will respond to this kind of thing after a lifetime of knowing them ;; the fact they didn’t seem to consider she might be upset - the fact that they never had a single conversation about it first… leads to MY conclusion that there are probably many other factors playing into the daughter’s feeling that her parents don’t want her around. They’re the assholes -- neglectful of her feelings, at best. ***UPDATE :: OPE, I posted this right before you Finally said they should have had a conversation LOL! Oops.
The 5yr old lunch story is hard but I feel like ultimately, a lot of BIPOC children at school and even adults at work are bullied for bringing "smelly" cultural foods and so many people have talked online about how much shame they feel over foods they love and enjoy freely at home. There's tons of references to this in Film and TV see Fresh off The Boat and even Big Fat Greek Wedding.
I think it's time we start being more accepting of cultural foods in a "professional" setting. especially when these foods are gaining viral popularity and huge companies are now profiting off those flavors (Kimchi, Siracha)
My partner and best friend are both Taiwanese and they've had very simliar experiences with food in their childhood that made them feel sad and othered by their peers so I'm just very sensitive and passionate about this topic. I'm not trying to criticize Ben and Christine too much bc it's a little obvious that they don't have a huge range of food they're interested in lol
It really surprised me with what Ben was saying about this, and I feel like Christine understood it slightly but definitely not to this extent. I totally agree.
@@hollieb0o339 yeah I think Christine is pretty good at understanding the bigger picture vs their own personal experiences/preferences and to be fair that’s part of what makes their podcast dynamic to listen to
I think it really depends. At my workplace most people are Hungarian (we are in Hungary) and we have national foods that are smelly. Like fish and cabbage meals. People still hate if someone starts heating that up in the common kitchen because it just smells. Same with other food that smells. Just eat stinky food at home, whatever culture
@@halasin97 you're right that there are some foods that are universally considered smelly, but the circumstances are different when someone in the cultural minority is being singled out with food that is just "different" or has a smell like spices, herbs, sea-weeds, or cold cabbage dishes like kimchi that aren't heated up (fish in the microwave I think is a universal no-no) and don't have a "smelly" smell, just an unfamiliar one.
I hope the kid with the lunch box isn't getting bullied over their lunch by the teachers.
As someone whose parent does live with them after a health crisis…it’s not easy and I don’t judge the kids for saying they will not.
I agree. The stress and burnout caregivers go through is awful - having experienced it myself. I also do not blame OP from keeping his money and spending it how he wants to enjoy what life he has left.
Agree, it can be exhausting (I'm the "nurse" in my family), but the children shouldn't expect the money either... also if they keep the money they can hire help to take care of the parent, other wise the OP has the rigth to do whatever he/she wants to with that money...
My parent is also chronically sick and I agree too.... It's hard because there is so many layers.... It's really difficult to have to take care of your parents, when they are the ones who took care of you... also there is much guilt if you don't..... But the kids should be able to relieve the guilt of not taking care of their father by letting him keep the money and spend it on a comfortable life! Thats what I would do.... personally.
agreed, but saying "we wont take care of you"...I wonder if there was more to it and poster is paraphrasing what THEY heard. Because that implies the kids dont care at ALL...theres a difference between taking care of a parent in old age and being their caretaker...but yeah if they still wanted the money, they're all adults, they can work a deal and I dont really disagree with the "I'm gonna enjoy my life before I cant" mentality either, although using ALL the inheritance on that makes the poster the AH...idk
@Victoria Ferguson no I think its just them saying because of their culture so its just mean you're not gonna leaving with one of us.
I think demiloshing the daughters room without telling her beforehand is the asshole move. It would feel totally different if they told her about their plans and let her come to terms with it first. They did it behind her back.
Yeah I was so completely baffled that they didn’t even tell her they were demolishing her childhood room?? I could list out like 10 things they did wrong if I had the time but that is the most WTF to me.
I find it odd that she didn't know, just like in general. Like my mom would tell me just to tell me, even if it wasn't my room. Like "what's new with you?" "oh just tearing out that extra bedroom to make more space in the living room." "Oh cool."
I'm wondering if she was having relationship issues and coming home to no room would end any thoughts of being able to move back if she needed to.
@@emepleez - Yeah. Unless the poster left out details, it sounds like there is one extra bedroom in the house, aka the girl's former room. And the parents even said she could sleep on the couch if she ever lost her housing. This means there's *no guest room* ...at all. The most obvious choice would have been to turn the girl's room into a guest room, but no... the parents made quite the statement instead.
Yea like they just expected her to come back for the holidays and not react? Someone’s bedroom is so personal I’d be destroyed if I came back and it was totally gone!
I suffer from severe seasonal allergies, so I go into bathroom stalls to blow my nose to spare everyone else from my disgusting snotty self. 😂
I’m so puzzled by that old lady’s logic lol, if you can’t blow your nose in the BATHROOM of all places where tf can you? 😭
Now your nose in the old lady’s purse. She’s left no other public place where you could blow your nose.
One time I had a really bad cold and I blew my nose and the snot was never ending to the point where a couple people who saw started gagging and asking if I was okay with looks of disgust. Ever since then I only blow my nose in private and just sniffle and gently wipe if need be
@@RainbowCatSkittles ok fair that sounds like it was a borderline traumatic experience 😭💀
college bedroom story hit hard as an adult thats struggled with housing in college...18, moving out, college, its a lot of change and a lot of times, the normalcy and nostalgia of our childhood bedroom is something comforting to cling to. If it were just repainting or somethng, daughter might be out of line but knocking down the walls, completely renovating it and then saying "oh you can just sleep on the couch"--I would NOT feel welcome and would probably cry because I had no touchstone. And then assuming its for holidays or something...They couldve just turned it into a guest bedroom or idk, was there any other option to reno to living room? a different wall to knock out? How small WAS it?? The way the post is written does feel very dismissive of daugters emotions ("she got all emotional", implying she was just mad she didnt have a place to sleep etc) so honestly yes it probably runs a LOT deeper than this. Speaking from experience--daughter needs to make herself be ok with it and find a way to move on, not cause her emotions dont matter but because she deserves to be around people who consider her and her feelings.
the prek lunch story: "distracting" from what exactly? its lunchtime, in prek. its not test time and I'm assuming that the lunch doesnt smell much packed away...sounds like the teacher threw out a word they knew sounded powerful as a teacher to make the parent comply. ...Whats that smell? Gotta say, I agree with it being racism.
the first story, lots of missing info tbh. Is the poster abusive as a parent? thats one reason kids might refuse to take care of them....I feel like its perfectly reasonable, if the kids are just like "we're not gonna take care of you" which implies professional care/nursing home, for poster to say "ok then I'm gonna have fun while I'm still able bodied/minded" and that money happens to be inheritance. If the tradition is inheritance + taking care of the parents, it's safe to assume that if you break the second tradition, the first is free to be broken too. Getting mad because you were relying on the inheritance as a tradition but refused to even prep for the other is selfish...like I said, if the poster was an abusive parent, that changes things. Also expecting kids to take care of their parents through illness when theres literally medical staff trained in it, I've seen what that does to people so the tradition to me IS unfair, but all that ca be talked out! Personally, considering they said the health problems run in the family, it'd be smarter to balance saving and going on trips, just in case. Like be a responsible adult.
Not Korean, but interested in Korean culture and makes kimchi on a regular.
Kimchi is typical Korean food which is eaten in various forms to pretty much every meal. I also see Koreans eat spam on the regular. Idk if they eat those kinds of cheeses.
Since I started making kimchi, I have noticed that some people really dislike the smell of cabbage while others (like me) don't even notice it smells of anything. It doesn't matter if the cabbage is fresh or fermented, some people can't stand its smell. I feel like this is similar to the coriander/Cilantro issue where some can eat it and others find it tastes like soap.
As for Kimchi, it is fermented and will therefore have a fermented smell. Plus it often also contains a fermented fish sauce or fermented shrimp. The smell of this can be even more pungent than the cabbage smell. I totally understand if people don't like the smell of fermented fish/shrimp.
I'm Swedish. Some people here love eating fermented herring, I don't. It has the worst smell and smells 100x worse than kimchi, blue cheese, goat cheese and spam combined. But, my dad loves the stuff so I'm somewhat used to the smell, and wouldn't feel like throwing up if someone brought fermented herring to work or school.
I think the problem here is more about what you're used to than anything else. If you're only used to eating a particular range of foods, anything else could potentially smell weird to you. Besides, small children have not yet had the opportunity to try out as many different foods as adults have. Just as their flavour pallette will develop with age, their noses will too. Not exposing children to different foods will make for adults who thinks sausage is the tastiest vegetable.
This is what I was thinking too, about the cabbage - I've found that it really is the smell of cabbage prepared in certain ways in particular that is very jarring to some people or smells "like garbage". It isn't just kimchi, but like dumplings that have cabbage in them could also smell very strongly if contained for a long time, like in a lunch box.
I think you have a great take here. I’m not Korean but I never thought of kimchi as a smelly food, especially cold, which was my main confusion. Thing is, children (and adults) can have very different perceptions of the same thing and the lack of calm communication in that situation didn’t help promote mutual understanding.
for the inheritance story, I think there is no inheritance for the children. The parent got an inheritance and its up to them to decide if they will leave something for their children. If they want to use their inheritance for travel and to take care of themself in old years since the children wont help them. We dont know that the parent wouldnt decide later to spend all the money regardless of who takes care of them
This. I used to work in elder care and we tried to convince people to enjoy their own money. You don’t need to leave it to your kids. Take that vacation you always wanted to go on but didn’t because you were saving. Also, being cared for in a facility is EXTREMELY expensive. If the kids aren’t going to take care of him, then he is going to NEED that money in order to provide for himself.
Seriously. It makes me laugh that the kids are like ‘you can’t live with us, it’s too expensive’ but then turn around and say ‘wait what about *our* money?!’
Like.. maybe that money could/would go towards the expenses of taking care of your father? And if you don’t want to do that, why are you expecting extra money?
Feels like a weird ‘I don’t want extra expenses but I want the extra resources’.. like whut?!
I mean, it's the parent's money, go live, travel and pay for your elder care facility that's expensive af.
Both are being mean, children and parent cause it seems that their family is a very transactional driven
@@andrealadealado while I think that no one is owed the money, the more I think about it, the more angry I get at the OP. They’re the first generation leaving their kids and grandkids a worse world than they were handed. It’s no secret that economic crisis is going to be a reality of the future.
OP thinks that traveling and luxury is more important than his grandkid’s security because he wouldn’t be treated like a dependant in his old age and that.. says a lot about him.
@@peacechickification but it’s ok for the kids to plan on abandoning their parent when the parent needs them?
Previous older generations were able to leave more money behind because previous younger generations chose to put more work into not spending it on incredibly expensive old-age care.
Many members of my dad’s family have lived long past the point of being able to take care of themselves. As the younger generation, it’s been up to my parents (and eventually me) to evaluate the cost vs effort of dealing with that. Having them live with you is significantly cheaper than not, but it’s a lot more work.
My point is, the kids aren’t actually saying “we can’t afford for you to live with us”, they’re say “we don’t want to put in the effort to take care of you”. Personally, I think this is fine - it’s their choice. However, they can’t then expect to get any real inheritance because care facilities will take as much of it as they possibly can. Him taking a few vacations now isn’t going make much of a difference compared to what that’s going to cost.
You can ask people to be considerate and not to bring stinky food to work, but you could also ask people to be considerate and bear with a smell they don't like for a few minutes so that a person doesn't have to deprive themselves of their cultural foods. Consideration goes both ways.
As a Korean person, I can say that yes kimchi fried rice with spam is a very common Korean dish (kimchi being traditional and spam being a product of the US occupation of South Korea), and it's very good! If I still ate spam, I would definitely eat it. And yeah, that teacher was definitely racist. I've had both teachers and kids react that way with me when I brought Korean food to school as a kid and it's not fun. Even in some workplaces I've had to deal with "wow that's ~interesting" or "what on earth is THAT" comments. It's still so weird to me that Korean flavors are trendy now in a lot of restaurants, because my memories feel super recent.
this ! I've seen people commenting about the hipocrisy, people who used to be bullied for eating a certain type of food or wearing traditional clothes and how it became trendy cause 'white people said so'
Dear teacher, we’ve put in a lot of work developing our kid’s pallet beyond chicken nuggets and fruit snacks, but I’m sorry his diverse tastes have become a distraction for the class. Perhaps they are just feeling disappointed and bored with their own PB&Js. Let’s work together on a creative solution. May I suggest a homemade Kim Chi demonstration? We could work it into your nutrition unit and discuss the science behind fermentation. Otherwise, please provide me with the school policy regarding food brought from home. I’m happy to avoid peanuts, treenuts, or anything else outlined in school policy.
Yes
In my country it's very common to eat kimchi, but I've never seen someone pack straight up solo kimchi for lunch. There's a time and place for that stuff. Not to mention the lunches are probably not refrigerated which is a potential food safety hazard.
Dear teacher CC: principal
Agree!
About the “I’m the one your son puts his in”, apparently the son convinced the girlfriend that his parents would find it super funny. That’s why the mom was so able to move past it bc she realized her son was the dumbass instigator
Regarding the "smelly food" - don't kids eat their food in the cafeteria?
Let the kids eat what they want, smelly or not, unless it actually harms others (like eating foods with peanuts with a kid in the class that has a severe peanut allergy).
This can be a learning opportunity to learn about other cultures - for example, have an international day or someone do an overview/taste test on Korean food.
If it's really stinky, assign the kid a desk by the window or classroom door so you can open it for ventilation.
Also, this teacher's approach/words were completely insensitive ... she should've just said it was distracting or disruptive for other kids in the class. Don't have to call it "gross" or "smelly."
Also, some people might be on specialty diets that maybe considered "stinky" ... for example, steamed broccoli.
Not every country has school cafetaria. At least where I went to school we always ate our lunch either outside or in the classroom.
But yeah, totally agree that the word choice was terrible. This would have been a great opportunity to teach kids about food in different cultures.
Agreed: also, this is preschool. When are preschoolers not distracted by anything. This sounds more like a person complaint is from the teacher. I would have escalated to the principal, because I feel the teacher acted very unprofessionally. Also at the end of the day kids need to eat and they are picky eaters. And honestly, it sounds like this parent is feeding the child very healthy meals instead of lunchables or cheese it’s.
Kids in Kindergarten are literally still having bathroom accidents. They dont care about their classmates food-if anything they would just say "That smells!" Or "Ew" and then go about their day. Kindergarteners are not distracted by the food being gross, they are distracted because they are 5 years old. Its the teacher being intolerant.
In my country, Thailand, I don’t usually say exactly where I from because I got bullied a lot. I previously use my full name as the username. Then changed to random ENGLISH words, never got bullied again. But I’m pretty sure people here aren’t gonna be like that.
Kindergarten here mostly eat school lunch with varieties minus spicy food. To teach them not to be picky eaters. You don’t want to eat, then you don’t get to eat. But we do have the advantages of genetics, food allergies almost doesn’t found in Asian people.
On the unrelated note regarding food allergies. I’m concern If any of you westerners want to visit please remember. So apologize for such a long reply.
Since food allergies almost doesn’t found in Asian people, a lot of them…. and I mean A TONS, especially OLDER Generation (and their stubbornness), don’t even know food allergies EVEN EXSIST.
Food sellers besides in hotels that catering for westerners, mostly don’t understand contamination. For example the famous Pad Thai contains peanuts. If you say “no peanuts” they gonna just don’t sprinkle peanuts, don’t clean the wok, or worst completely ignored your request.
Find the words that you needed in that language. Saved or print them to show the food sellers. I recommend fine western blogs who highly experienced in the country you interested.
Some words that might be useful in Thai. That I can think of
Food = อาหาร
Allergic/Allergies = แพ้
Food allergies = แพ้อาหาร
Sick = ป่วย
Deathly = ถึงตาย
Or say “If you put…(something) …in the food, I won’t buy for it” most likely shut them up real fast.
Nothing in that lunch is smelly either. The teacher is just racist.
The argument that Mila and Ashton are selfish towards their kids comes a lot from people that believe very strongly in building and protecting "generational wealth". This probably comes from people whose families had to overcome rough situations, so it is understandable that they wouldn't want their kids to experience the same thing. But what they don't understand is that Mila and Ashton would never let their kids starve, they're just trying to raise independent people in a family where they have an overabundance of financial security and privilege. Nothing wrong with that, imo.
This👍🏻
Agreed! As someone who grew up with nothing and works for everything I have, I hope to be able to support my someday-children in some ways. But I also want them to be independent and work for things! I think there can be a good balance.
Yes, this. Like if the kids future house burned down, I doubt they would refuse to help... if the kids are just choosing to be "lazy" and not work and expects wealth because it exists, the parents shouldn't pay for it. Not just with Mila and Ashton but anyone who has wealth.
The alternative is ending up with kids like Will Smith's. Oof.
Agreed. Their kids will have the benefits of their parents money in many ways, including access/connections that many people will never have. I truly appreciate their sentiment, and I think their children will still be in significantly better positions than most children to earn and grow their own wealth.
screaming to the sky that you missed some additional info abt the meeting parents aita: the son told her to say it despite knowing his mom hates those jokes and didn’t defend the girlfriend right away like. garbage man
I think the preschool teacher was being problematic because they refused to explain exactly what foods were the problem. And for me, that raises a red flag. If you were concerned about Doritos being unhealthy for the kid, for example, you probably would just come out and name that specific example and say why you're concerned. Being vague about the "smelliness" and "distraction" makes me think the teacher has a problem with the cultural foods like the kimchi and is afraid to say it because on some level they know it's going to sound racist. Leaving it up to the parent to decide which foods are "distracting" and which ones aren't is probably going to result in the parent packing stereotypical American foods just because they don't know what else is safe (assuming the parent tries to comply). And that's not right.
I can't imagine that the other kids are *not* bringing things like Doritos, just the "normal" kids will be bringing them in Doritos baggies and not with any added homemade deliciousness. And unless it's a can of surströmming or something, cultural food is just cultural food. 10 cents says the teacher wants to bring the evils of CRT into the discussion but hasn't figured out a way to do it without looking completely idiotic.
And they probably would not say anything if whitey white kid had pop corn for snack and that shit REEKS.
You think "smelliness" is vague? when I was a kid I got SUSPENDED because a teacher dubbed my food (that she's never tried) "disgusting". It was ketchup mixed with applesauce. Teacher's will complain about anything they view as abnormal and call it a "distraction" just so they don't have to look at it. In this case they probably were being racist, but that's not always the case, they'll do it to "American foods" they don't like too.
They didn't say kimchi because they flatly refuse to learn any Korean words
Boy did I forget it's Tuesday
My half asleep brain was convinced it was Sunday for some reason??? Woke up so disoriented
sames lol
Same!! I’m so confused about the weekdays right now :D
I thought it was Thursday. I’m ready to be clocked out for the week.💀
Oh my God. Effin finally. Every time I hear a story that somebody hijacked somebody else’s event for whatever reason, I always think out loud “whenever somebody tries to do that at your event, embarrass the ABSOLUTE F out of them”.
I have 3 siblings and we've all moved out of our parents house years ago, and our rooms stilll intact.. who tf demolishes a room months after 💀
I'm a little disappointed in the handling of the proposal at the housewarming party story. Maybe it's just me, but buying a house is a huge accomplishment. It's the culmination of a career successful enough to be able to save for an incredibly major purchase, the track record to prove that, and the discipline to do the saving. I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to enjoy that moment, and to see two people in a privileged position dismiss all of that work as unworthy of celebration is disheartening. I think those folks deserved a moment to celebrate.
I keep seeing this comment and I don't think Ben was downplaying buying a house. I think it was more so the party itself. I'm not a homeowner but I'm saving a working towards it, and I will feel such a sense of accomplishment once I buy a house. However, someone proposing at my wedding would feel like a bigger faux pas to me than someone proposing at my housewarming party. I can have other celebrations acknowledging that I bought a house, which is a different situation than a wedding day.
Simply’s legal ramblings are so much fun to listen to when you’re studying law lmao 😂
The house warming/proposal story had some more context in the comments (or maybe an update, I'm not sure) where OP added that he spoke out against his partners brother doing this at her house warming because he has a history of doing things to undermine his sister's accomplishments, celebrations, etc, and this was the final straw for OP so... Yeah, NTA and fuck the brother if this was some petty bullshit to fuck with his sister
The thing that bugs me about the daughters bedroom is.. That's not an immediate thing to do, it takes a few weeks and she's only been gone a few months. So to have done that, without warning her or telling her, really would feel like they did it the moment you left. Don't think they are AH for doing it but they went about it badly
oh my god, tell the kid about your plans to demolish the room and let her have time to get over the fact
it amazes me how considerate and understanding cristine is. she seems like such a great person!
I love it when you do AITA on this podcast! 💜 Also, where are you supposed to blow your nose in public if not in a public bathroom? 🤔
A few years ago my mom told me "You better be nice to Bob (my step dad) because I cut you out of the will and everything is going to him" just said that to me out of the blue. Alright mom, thanks for the heads up.
Damn
My stepdads name is Bob too. If I were in this situation I would get nothing bc Bob is horrendous 😂 hard to be nice
So did that motivate you to be nice to him?
"Okay Mom, there's a term called No Contact. That's what we are now. See ya, wouldn't wanna be ya."
That sounds like she knows Bob can be a prick but was trying to buy your at least faked acceptance and pleasantries. Odd.
A lot of these seem to be communication issues or social misunderstandings. I feel like we could do so much better as a society if we could stop expecting everybody else to act a specific way
I almost spewed out my tea when Ben said ‘the coffee stops with me’ 😂😂😂😂
The smelly food thing: what is 'smelly' or not is cultural! Even Durian! I've been to Bali a few times and durian is everywhere! Culturally it is loved
I completely agree about your perspective on anticipating a 'pay out' for a beneficiary based on when someone dies. This has always made me uncomfortable when friends of mine have talked about getting an inheritance after a grandparent dies. Especially when they are basing their future goals solely on if they get that money sooner rather than later, and do no work of their own to achieve those personal goals. It makes me fell like they value the money more than the time they have with that person.
As a Korean who lived in Korea for most of my life, I personally don't understand the choice of packing kimchi for lunch every single day in an environment that is not mostly Koreans. If it were every once in a while, sure, but everyday??? Even Koreans in Korea avoid packing kimchi on fieldtrips and stuff in fear of kimchi juice dripping onto their bags and stinking up the bus. I love Kimchi but at the same time it's definitely an acquired taste/smell so I personally think it's courtesy to not bring it to a workplace/school everyday. That being said, the teacher does seem racist by the way they worded it.
A Korean woman named Shelly(her 'white' name she called it) lived with us for a decade, some of her food stank(like the kimchi and these fish scales she'd cook directly on the glass cooktop😂), but she was my auntie and made the best food I've ever had in my life. Fried rice in the morning, chicken katsu, banana lumpia; my siblings loved her Kahlua pig, bolgogi, kimchi and pretty much anything else she made!
Cheers!!
For the proposal one, did they ask if it was okay for them to propose at their house warming or not. That is important. If they didn't then that is an AH move, if they did (though it seems like they didn't) why didn't she bring it up to the OP about it.
I feel like the people hijacking other events to propose 1) are risking ruining the vibe if the other party doesn’t say yes, and b) are doing it for the convenience of having a ready made party they didn’t have to plan and pay for. It’s rude on a lot of levels.
nope! They did not get permission at all
@@marianneconverse4824agreed.
The Muppet story feels like it was written by a 8 year old 😂 I was laughing so hard at you two analyzing it seriously
the demolishing thing hits home for me rn, i am moving out of my parents' house in the next week to move in with my partner of two years, i'm almost 22 and he's 26. my parents have been talking about what they're going to do with my room once i leave, how they're excited to have their pantry/refrigerator/cabinet spaces back, the lessened spending on food, lower bills, etc. but are rarely discussing how they will miss me/my company. i would be broken if i come by in just a few weeks from now and saw they extended the living room off of my room into my space, because it's actually quite possible for them to do so. i have a feeling it's going to take a complete 180 once i actually leave though. hopefully.
Ben's not necessarily wrong about the smelly food, its the fact that the teacher had an attitude about it. She started out being unreasonable which leads me to believe she was being racist, rather than trying to stop the smells.
I zoned out while cooking and then I hear “you’ll air drop me some hummus and I’m not allowed to leave the island” lol what 😂
Maybe it's being Canadian and financially stable that has Ben and Cristine not thinking buying a house is a HUGE deal. That could have been decades of hard work. I don't think it's narcissistic to want to celebrate that.
AITA is my FAVORITE series you guys do.
When I was in elementary school, the smell of ranch would make me completely sick/gag. I never threw a fit about other people having ranch around me. I don't like confrontation either, though lmao
"But what if there's an EASEMENT??" This went so off the rails and I am HERE for it!
Bruh that lunch was a lot more nutrient rich & 'healthy' than school lunches and what most people pack for their kids these days 😂😂
I love how deep the school lunch discussion got 😂
For the inheritance story: I don’t think that the children are owed money, nor is the parent owed to be cared for in their old age by their children.
That being said- for a boomer to decide to be the end of the line of the inheritance is.. troubling to me. They literally had the most economic success in their lifetimes. They are the first generation leaving their children a worse world than they received.
So to be in the ‘can get a good job without university, but could get a better job with university that could be paid for with a summer job, and could buy a house within a decade of working said jobs’ generation, and also be the end of the generational wealth?
Icky icky icky icky.
Makes me wonder what the rest of the relationship is like. Feels like a chicken or the egg of why the kids don’t want to house the parent in their old age..
I don't agree with Ben on the food one. I don't think it's on the parent to not bring smelly food. There is curry, kimchi, thai salad and all kinds of strong smelling food in other cultures they are completely acceptable. Why should one change their culture and conform to what the western society consider "smelly". The times I was told my food was disgusting, I felt so ashamed of my culture in the past. But look at all the food shows now, all those things I got made fun of is now featured and accepted.
I find it really weird he brought up shawarma as stinky... When it's just a meat wrap? Why is that considered stinky when you can just not have garlic sauce? Also a chicken sandwich with ranch sauce is functionally similar, I wonder if Ben and his coworkers eat that outside the office?
I kinda agree with Ben. Everyone in the comments is trying o make it about culture and race when it really doesn't need to be. I think bringing fish for example to an office and microwaving it there is not very appropriate and I don't see how this is different.
@@ciomrion2816 yeah I've heard this argument before, doesn't change the fact that it still hurts me and how i feel about my ethnic background. To the recipient of those comments it's 100% about culture.
@@mousysaint9143 I've seen somewhere that in Korea they brush their teeth after every meal mainly due to the amount of garlic and fermented foods that are consumed at almost every meal, which certainly have a stronger smell. Garlic sauce has a strong odour, and it lingers. I don't think that has anything to do with culture, just happens that some cultures eat foods that have stronger odours, especially raw garlic & onion. I personally love the taste of kimchi and other fermented foods, but I can understand that some people find the smell unpleasant
I am Filipino and find certain Filipino foods absolutely disgusting in terms of smell (despite tasting good). I would never bring those to public, but enclosed, spaces out of courtesy. I would also hate to be forced into an enclosed situation with food that someone else brought that made me want to vomit, like fish paste. To be fair, I think I have sensory issues with scents specifically, but still. That said, the way the teacher went about it was just not right.
I think it's weird that the brother proposed while the sister was out of the room getting dessert...in her new house
It’s my opinion that the teacher was being a bully trying to shame the mother for packing the lunch which the child likes. It’s too much for anyone to complain as long as the child is eating the food. I will investigate how the teacher handled this.
For the proposal: a housewarming is not a wedding, but it’s a huge achievement, especially when doing it alone. I would be ecstatic to purchase a home, and I would be really annoyed if someone did that without asking me. They didn’t just share their news; the guy made it a spectacle in front of everyone. Distracting from the purpose of the celebration is rude.
Moving in with your boyfriend at 18 is a very naive and unstable thing to do, its even more important that they have a home to come back to
For the daughter's bedroom scenario, I'm surprised that they didn't even casually mention it to their daughter. When I talk with my parents over the phone, we update each other on things that are going on in our lives. For me personally, I would be very surprised if my parents didn't mention a major renovation in their house (even if it was just replacing the shingles on the roof). I agree that there is something more to this story regarding the parents' relationship with their daughter.
Unrelated but Christine’s earrings are a ✨statement✨ and i love them
You guys lol'ing at the mayor getting subpoena'd is what long lasting relationships are made of.
Damn, I'm over 40 and I still have my teenage room at my mom's house! I would be upset if the room was gone with no warning! It's like your safe space! And I only sleep there on the holidays mostly! And the girl was so young!!!
Your AITA podcasts are my absolute favorite. I love you guys!
I went ham blowing my nose in the nurses station at work yesterday and didn’t give it a second thought.
12:03 Cristine commentating on not identifying with a culture that appreciates generational customs 👏🏻period
1:03:27 listen I’m happy about any mention of Illicit Affairs that song is a BOP
I think ben is probably just ignorant of the fact that a lot of immigrant and bipoc children often get bullied over their 'smelly' lunch when really it's just a regular cultural dish they commonly eat. As a kid I remember being scared to bring food that my parents would cook into school (I'm Chinese) and would instead opt for pizzas, hot dogs etc. which was probably the less healthy option. The fact of the matter is that if I brought something that potentially smelled bad to the white kids at my school I would get comments and bullied for it. Like ben getting shawarma for lunch because he likes it is different from a kid who is bringing a cultural food to school, if that child is shamed and bullied for it, it is massively detrimental to their self concept and relationship to their culture. Imagine as you are eating your sandwich or some other inoffensive white people food somebody came up and was like 'ew that looks so disgusting, how are you even eating that' wouldn't that make you want to stop eating sandwiches? Wouldn't it make you feel gross and like your culture is disgusting?
So my opinion is that people should eat whatever they want whenever they want (excluding considerations for allergies) because most times these restrictions on 'smelly' food only affect bipoc people's food choices. The teacher was being racist because these ideas that foreign foods are gross and less acceptable is an idea born from systemic racism and xenophobia. Ben and Cristine need to consider that not everyone is white and maybe they should refrain from commenting on situations like these because they come off as uneducated and out of touch.
Yes 👏
The call back of island situations is making me giggle every time 😂
That new girlfriend story is very reminiscent of the game Facade 🤣🤣
Lol those parents aren't assholes, they were uncomfortable and are not obligated to just be uncomfortable for a whole evening.
The way that ended was definitely the best course of action 😌
Taylor Swift may be no Bob Dylan, but, Bob Dylan is no Taylor Swift either. 😂
Christin is correct. I work with the elderly. There is a syndrome called “old lady.” Also “old man.” Also “you know the elderly” syndrome.
On the proposal one: If the reason he proposed at that event is because the family was all together, imo, thats annoying and lazy. If your proposal is important to you plan an event yourself, don't try to usurp someone else's party and attempt to turn it into a celebration for you.
As someone who works with kindergarten, the only time I questioned a child's lunch is when they only packed a lunchable and nothing else. Even then, we just ask the kids if they want a school lunch along with their home lunch (as it is free for all students in our district currently).
Side note: we ask the parents not to send in microwavable dishes with kindergarten unless the children are familiar with doing it themselves, and not to send sodas.
I’m studying for a citizenship exam and decided to take a break and eat a few slices of pizza…I just saw this video in the feed and it was kismet! Nothing could be better than a study break with Simply Podlogical ❤
Hello! I saw the word you wrote “kismet”. In Turkish it means “luck”, I’m curious about the language you know it from!
I vote Ben starts his own hummus business
Here's my thought about demolishing the daughter's room. Her room growing up was one of the first versions of "personal space" she had, a room completely representing her, that she had a say in decorating, how to use it, a private space closed off from everyone else etc. When you move out for college, you still have a level of personal space, but now you're sharing it with a roommate, a partner, whoever, so when you come back home, you look forward to coming into that personal space that you decided on everything for. I think they should have talked to her first, and asked if it was okay, because demolishing it without any input from the daughter can read as "well we don't respect your personal space, and this thing that represents you, and we don't respect your input either".
I don't think she's entitled or spoiled, I think she just wanted to be included in this decision that removed her personal space growing up, a space that represented her, and that she was attached to. And to do it within months of moving away to college is definitely a little rushed, I don't think she would've reacted that way if it had happened a year down the line or farther. It happened within what, 8 months? In the grand scheme of things that's a short amount of time.
If the parents wouldn't like it if someone did it to them, they shouldn't do it to the kids, is my opinion
i had a teacher who always ate eggs during class in middle school and i hate the smell off eggs but i wasn't gonna send a rude email over it 🙃
i was thinking about how people often eat ham/butter sandwiches on the train, ham stinks but i deal with it until they get off
Ben must have forgotten how picky kids are. Kids tend to only want to eat the same things. There's a large possibility the mom doesn't have other options to feed her kid
My first thought, before they got to actually describing the foods in the second screenshot was "is it kimchi?"
And I agree with Ben here - I love kimchi but I acknowledge that it has a powerful smell, especially if it's been sitting in a container for a bit. I wouldn't bring it to work for that reason because I think it's inconsiderate to have my coworkers smell that, but I enjoy it all the time at home or at restaurants where people have the context that they will be smelling strong foods like kimchi.
That said, the teacher handled this very poorly and rudely. I definitely think the teacher is the asshole in this situation and the parent is not at fault for packing their child's favourite foods, but I would still acknowledge that certain foods have a stronger smell than others that can be considered inconsiderate to bring to lunch. Like I think it is a fair thing to bring up politely if you think it's inconsiderate to the other children, but if the parent says "my kid loves this, it's their favourite food" then that is their prerogative and you just respect it, and maybe try to turn it into a teaching moment for the other children about cultural foods.
If I were the parent I may be concerned that my child would be ostacized or made fun of for being the 'smelly lunch kid' because kids can be cruel, but the teacher absolutely did not have to phrase it the way she did. I definitely think that is grounds for a complaint of some sort with the school and the teacher was out of line in the way she approached the subject.
I am seeing in the comments that a lot of people don't consider kimchi smelly so I guess it is subjective, but to me I think opening a sealed jar of kimchi has a similar effect as bringing durian with you. To me, it's something that without the context of "I am smelling food" you can mistake it for something rotting and that can be jarring for people unfamiliar with it. Even without the cultural aspect I can see certain cheeses having this reputation too, for example, where if you don't recognize or have the context that you are smelling cheese, you can find it very pungent and unpleasant until you realize what it is.
11:30 I disagree with you because it is the Posters inheritance. So it's less, "well I'm spending your inheritance," and more, "I'm spending my inheritance, that I could give to you"
why was the island conversation so funny!! 😂😂😂 it’s giving survivor 😂😩
The kimchi one triggered me as a Korean person. Kimchi is a huge part of our every day dishes. Just let the kid eat what they want
Coulda been the blue cheese that was upsetting the A-hole teacher, but yeah, as an adult in charge of so many children, they should know to prioritize a kid actually eating their daily food over however that food smells to them
I'm not Korean but I agree, at this age it should be about doing what makes the child most happy and if eating kimchi for lunch is that then why deny him that?
Is anyone else yelling that the 1st poster did not rub it in the children’s face that he was spending their inheritance on vacations. The child asked how he was paying for it and he told them the truth of where the money was coming from. That is not being petty answering a question honestly.
On the ruined proposal story, the OP says in the comments that the bother CONSTANTLY does stuff during the sisters' special moments to bring the attention on him.
Regarding the first one, I think what Cris missed is the daughter literally asked how he was paying for the trip, he did not volunteer that information. It’s very strange she even asked that question. They seem to have a very transactional relationship.
My first week as an employee at Walmart I overheard a woman calling for help in the bathroom. I walked in and she was at the sink washing herself dressed like Winnie the Pooh (nothing on the bottom.) she explained she had an “accident” and was cleaning herself up while her husband purchased some new clothing and wanted me to find him because he was taking a long time. So that’s something far worse that happened than blowing your nose. lol
Just my 20 cents on the inheritance thing: firs of all, it would be interesting to know wether there were any previous arrangements or promises regarding the money (the daughter says 'their grandparents promised them'). Bc the girl's reaction would be more understandable if her mother had previously promised her that they would inherit and changed her mind afterwards. Secondly, the way it's phrased kinda makes me think that the parent only started to spend the money when she thought her children weren't gonna take care of her the way she expected. I would understand that she then started to make arrangements for herself (i.e. starting a savings account for her future expenses, like a nursing home or medical bills), but she used it for traveling. Don't get me wrong, she has every right to pamper herself with her own money, but the way it's worded sounds more like she's taking revenge (that's why she makes it clear to her children that she's specifically using the inheritance money to travel). And, while it's wrong to think you're entitled to your parents money, it's also wrong to use the inheritance as a way to blackmail your children into doing what you want. That stance is childish and petty.