After Thru - The Other Side of Long Distance Hiking
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 5 ก.พ. 2025
- It's been a while since I got back from hiking the Pacific Crest Trail, obviously, it was the adventure of a lifetime but coming home has proven to be just as much a lesson and a challenge. Here is a little glimpse into my life after a thru-hike and how I'm learning to be human again. Please watch in HD or 4K.
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A friend sent this video to me a few weeks ago. I've been avoiding watching it, knowing what you'll say because it's exactly how I feel. I finished my thru-hike of the Appalachian Trail 6 months ago and although I'm home in a place I love, nothing still feels quite right. I'd drink the coffee again anyways. I'm forever changed and forever grateful to the trail and I hope one day I find the person I was on trail again.
Courtney, I'm 60 years old and thru-hiked the AT in 2021 at 58. Your video encapsulated everything I have felt since I got back. I will never be them same and I have been restless ever since. The trail changes you, forever. For me its interesting that someone so young had the same experience after the trail. It seems that these feelings are not age dependent. There were times on the AT that I hated being there, now all I can think of is getting back. It's unsettling but "The Mountains are Calling, and I Must go". Thank you for an excellent and well thought out video! It had me in tears....
WHat a beautiful comment. It leaves me with hope that there are adventures ahead of me. Sincerely from a mom trying to dream while stuck at home.
@@rachelberglund you can certainly have adventures in front of you if you choose to! I was your typical father and husband, always putting my family first. Which is my job and I wouldn't trade it for anything. But once the kids are out on there own, IHMO its okay to be a little selfish and do something for yourself. I of course asked my wife if she would be okay being alone for 6 months, and while she wasn't thrilled, she knew it was important to me and that she had no desire to hike 2200 miles. My best advise would be to stay in shape and keep dreaming. Your time will come. I have my PCT permit for this year, and my wife and I are also considering the Camino de Santiago, so one of those may be the next big adventure for me! Good Luck!
Hey, Maui!!...Didn't have the good fortune to meetcha on the AT in '21. On my path to thru-hike the PCT in '25. Hope to see ya out there! #WellDone -- AT NOBO Thru-Hiker 2021 #24weeks2Days1Hour23Minutes #HikersHike 😜
@brianhodgkins2750 You might very well see me out on the PCT next year. I attempted a thru hike this year but with all the snow I doubt I’ll make it all the way. I’ve hiked up to mile 617 but missed about 250 of those due to ice and snow. I’m headed back down south now to pickup those miles… So I might be out here in 25 finishing it up….
@@coreymahjoubian3668 Good luck...be safe. Keep on hiking....lemme know where u b!
Neither utility theory nor regret theory capture the thru hiking experience. It’s about meaningful growth and personal transformation , not the crude seeking of pleasure or avoidance of pain. Being human is a more full fledged and salient experience on the trail. The utter meaninglessness of walking essentially nowhere for no real reason thrusts upon us a simple appreciation of life itself. The not-having-anything-to-do of thru hiking puts us face to face with the emptiness and fullness of our being in the world. This is too much for some people to handle, and then crash out of the hike or cling to a tramily to avoid the solitude of their own thoughts. The quiet desperation of people who walk at the same pace and tolerate each other well enough can lead to strong bonds. But underlying those friendships is the contingency of circumstances that will soon disappear as the terminus approaches. You will be alone again, but transformed.
There’s no going back to that experience because you yourself are changed. Just as there’s no going back to the first day of high school or college. There’s no going back for anything. We only move forward, until we stop moving. Our being in the world is a being carried through time. Sometimes it feels like being dragged along by our hair and sometimes it’s a wave we can surf.
Your mistake is to think the trail ends when you reach the terminus. That you can’t be on the trail when you go to work. The whole world is the trail, whether you are in an cubicle or on s ridge line. The only difference is your attitude towards it.
Love This! 🚶♀️❤ our entire life is the trail.
“I can look around and not resent the place I live” that was deeply moving. I have often resented places I lived because I didn’t let myself develop a strong connection to the land and now years later I miss those places and regret the missed opportunities I had while living there to not explore more. I’m a firm believer that everywhere has a type of natural beauty if you look for it.
Absolutely true! We tend not to appreciate those places until we're gone
I totally needed to hear that, thank you!
I love exploring and grew up in Iowa, and I can confirm that literally everywhere has cool natural areas if you look hard enough. Some areas are just far more well-known than others.
Big hikes have never brought me instant clarity. They’ve often left me with more questions about myself than answers, and a constant longing to do more and be more. As a paramedic I’m offered a unique insight into being elderly. And I can tell you, the joy and love that comes onto my patients faces when they talk about both small and big adventures is how I now measure the course of my life. “Is it worth it?” Has become “How rad will this story be when I’m old”. Enjoy the journey, love your videos!
Well done video! I’m a 73 year old backpacker, I started backpacking and climbing when I was a 15 year old teenager. I have depression between each hiking adventure, my whole life has been like that. I seem to be at my happiest moments when I am out in the wilds climbing or hiking. A lot of people complain of trail depression setting in after a long thru hike, I can relate to that as I get depressed in between even short hikes and section hikes. Best medicine for me is to spend as much time on the trail as I can.
Girl I cannot explain or express to you how deeply this video touched me, deep within me. I feel lost more often than not. I miss being free. I miss adventuring. I miss not having the constraints of bills and materialistic things. My partner has never travelled, has never had the feeling of adventure. Never experienced meeting new people on the road. He can't understand why I want to sell everything and pack a backpack and travel the world. He doesn't understand why I am mourning, but that is essentially what I feel like I'm doing on the daily. Maybe I should just do it and to hell with it all. I can always start again right? I only just found your channel today. I can't wait to see where you go next. YOU ROCK!
This is your life (
You should just do it. After retiring at 45, ten years ago and staying at home through COVID, I've decided to get rid of everything, rent out my home and become a nomad, slow traveling the world. You can always come back if you don't like, but the time you miss while you're here can't be recovered. I'd like to travel for ten years and giving my wealth to environmental causes, then die penniless but satisfied.
To accept the risk of failure and pain in pursuit of freedom amidst the wind and the rain- for I am the moth and what I love is the flame. Few people get to realize what sets them on fire. The hardest, most rewarding thing is pushing to create a life doing what you love. People will think you are crazy, sacrifices will be made, but in the end the success if worth it. Rootin' for ya CEW.
Epic words and so so true! Thank you for your support, see you outside :)
I'm 20 and I can so relate. After high school I took a "gap year" at a folk high school here in Norway (basically a kindergarten for young adults) and had the time of my life. We hiked, skied, paddled, climbed and traveled for 9 months and I made lots of new friends. Leaving that behind absolutely sucked. I'm now 6 months into the stress of university and I constantly catch myself looking back at the person I was just a year ago.
Once you've seen what life can offer, going back to a normal life sucks big time...
Drink the coffee. Don’t let yourself be boring. I’m traveling all 2023 and it’s amazing how long it takes to let go of a life that lacked. But a hike today in the mountains of Cyprus woke me up. The future, mine and also yours, is going to be awesome! Also, I was on Kosciusko in early January 2015 without the snowstorm! A fun mountain.
16 years ago we spent 3 years bike touring around the world. We felt the same when we returned home, lost, and without a purpose, just like you say, having to fit in to a ´normal’ life didn’t seem possible anymore. Thankfully we were able to create a simple life off the grid, run our own business and spend our weekends in the outdoors and a few months every year adventuring somewhere new. It took time to get here, but we found our balance, I hope you do too. 🙌
Excellent!
"So now the real work begins..." Brilliantly done, Courtney. Just beautiful. I feel like this is the age-old phenomenon that we each have to eventually grapple with, whether we're mountain climbers, backpackers, sailers, or hell, even my military experience offered a bit of the same feelings. These experiences change us at our core. Then what? I've always found some inspiration in the words of Gary Snyder:
"The wilderness pilgrim's step-by-step breath-by-breath walk up a trail, into those snowfields, carrying all on the back, is so ancient a set of gestures as to bring a profound sense of body-mind joy. Not just backpackers, of course. The same happens to those who sail in the ocean, kayak fjords or rivers, tend a garden, peel garlic, even sit on a meditation cushion. The point is to make intimate contact with the real world, real self. Sacred refers to that which helps take us (not only human beings) out of our little selves into the whole mountains-and-rivers mandala universe. Inspiration, exaltation, and insight do not end when one steps outside the doors of the church. The wilderness as a temple is only a beginning. One should not dwell in the specialness of the extraordinary experience nor hope to leave the political quagg behind to enter a perpetual state of heightened insight. The best purpose of such studies and hikes is to be able to come back to the lowlands and see all the land about us, agricultural, suburban, urban, as part of the same territory -- never totally ruined, never completely unnatural. It can be restored, and humans could live in considerable numbers on much of it. Great Brown Bear is walking with us, Salmon swimming upstream with us, as we stroll a city street." (Gary Snyder, "Practice of the Wild")
Anyway, this is incredibly well done. Thank you so much for sharing.
I’m so glad you relate! It’s such a complicated feeling to put into words but such a universal experience. Thank you for watching 😊
I cried a LOT watching this video. I'm 3 months into a 2 year sabbatical, just returned home for a few weeks after hiking Scandinavia for the past 3 months. Resonate a lot with the difficulty of returning home. And with something deeper that I can't quite put my finger on.
The best vlog I've seen in a long, long, time. Fantastic expression of a truly unique experience !!!
Thank you so much Bart!
Thanks for sharing. Post trail depressions is real. I felt the same way. It's hard to go back to "normal" life, so I worked and planned the next thru hike, and when i saved enough money, I hit the trail. I eventually realized I probably couldn't thru hike forever, and I needed to find something challenging that I could be excited about. I got involved with marital arts and have started a few businesses that I love and challenge me in a different way than all my long-distance hikes. I still take shorter hikes and might do another thru-hike in the future. Good luck with your journey on trail and in life.
Glad to hear that I'm not the only one going thru these post trail thoughts...
Absolutely not! We’re all stuck in it together now ☺️
I have never done a thru-hike yet I related to this deeply. Some things in life change us in ways which we can never un-do, nor would we want to. I'm glad you're learning how to find your way post thru-hike. Keep finding joy where you can :)
Such a great vid to explore the transition after the trail. Turns out that Hiking the PCT takes less time than you think and life goes on. I'm so grateful for my PCT experience, I met my younger self out on trail. I'm trying to connect with that person a little each day, starting to look forward to new experiences not only back to the experiences on trail. That's easier said than done. Thanks for sharing your personal refections on your post trail life.
I love the idea of it being your younger self, it’s so true! Thank you for watching and happy trails x
I certainly feel this. I've yet to complete my first thru, but hiked over 500 miles of the AT in '17 and more than a thousand in '20. I'm almost 56 and about to sell the home I've lived in for more than twenty years in the town I've lived in since I was 4. I plan to spend the rest of my life hiking that damn trail and maybe parts of others now and then. May your coffee mug overflow.
I have watched this about 10 times and I still get caught thinking about some thing you say at some point- because the things you are saying require a lot of unpacking (not pun) - and then I have to watch it again to figure out where the video goes. Still have not figured it out! Not sure how many times I'm going to watch this before I can really grasp it - which, imo, is a great thing. Inspiring, idea-laden video that doesn't get old. Love the way you did this and love that you are touching on things that a lot of us struggle with living in modern society. Thank you for sharing and creating!
I just finished my first marathon. a very different feat. but this resonates. thank you.
Best wishes for you and yours on your journey. Your story inspires and uplifts so many of us.🌸
Very nice film! I can certainly relate after hiking the PNT with my wife last summer. Something's different now, but it's hard to put one's finger on it.
Sounds like it’s time for another hike 😉
You create some crazy good videos, I've watched the whole series and it's amazing.
Thank you so much!
i love your way of thinking
just the : drink the coffe at the end
that was a great line🤣
before watching this i wanted to do the pct but after watching it i need to hike the pct
This is the most granola, thru-hiker thing I’ve ever seen, hahah. I love it!
Haha I’m taking that as a complement 😂 thanks for watching!
@@courtneyevewhite It is a compliment. I’m a huge granola, hippy/hiker, lol.
Ever since I got back from the PCT in September, I've felt dulled, underwater, disconnected. How can such a valuable experience end and leave more questions than answers, more doubt than hope, more loneliness than intimacy... All the confidence, independence, and resolve that drove me to the beginning of the trail seems to have dissolved into the stale air of an office afterwards. What is left of me and that beautiful person I discovered out there? You said it perfectly when you asked the questions of achieving a balanced life... "Am I wasting the days, weeks, or months before getting back on trail? Does discontent follow us everywhere we go? Once you become a thru-hiker, is being a thru-hiker all you have? Surely Not. I fucking hope not."
I am seeking to find these answers and I really appreciate your ability to talk about this. Thank you.
Love, love your videos. And I know what you mean. As one of the other comments down bellow, for me was my military experience as a mountain soldier. After coming back life was like...now what? I just don't want to be content with a normal life anymore, but I don't know how to live in this weird world, and people don't know me anymore. Life is much easier than what I used to think, but also so much complicated. Hope all of you have a wonderfull journey and... see you on the trail.
Yeah its that simplicity we crave hey? See you out there Emma :)
Being so deeply embedded in mother nature, for me, shows me that I'm not implicated by it all. The mountains don't jump in surprise when you arrive. The trees grow and stretch into the sunlight whether you're there or not. The dirt and rocks underfoot give way to footstep as they do do rain and wind.
When we come back to the human world - we fall for a trick of society - that we are implicated by it all. We are not. From the moment of the big bang to this moment, all of it is simply nature. Meditation is one of the most effective tools to not fall for this trick. It helps you be with what is and see things as they are.
Hope you found your own version of peace since sharing this video Courtney.
If I may be so bold as to enter into a room I'm not actually qualified for, as someone who has never thru hiked, but IMHO you've found gold here. And, after finding it, you've done a really wonderful job of expressing the inexpressable. After achieving a goal that elevated your sense of what you are capable of, be that running a Marathon, backpacking across the Grand Canyon or attending Burning Man, you are forever changed. And that change seems to be felt most acutely upon reentering the real world, or the "Default World" in Burning Man speak. And so, you will likely find a way to once again tickle the nerve receptors that can only be reached in your tent miles down the trail, or at mile 23 of 26.2 or in Deep Playa at sunrise. Thank you for your words. The coffee tastes really good this morning.
I felt this way when I left college. Everyone at college was real, they were human, they were raw, they were their true selves. Take them as they were or leave them. Let’s work hard but enjoy the hell out of ourselves. Let’s share the good, the bad, the ugly. Let’s be spontaneous. Let’s experience. That all disappeared when we left our own small world and entered the real world and corporate life. Those in the real world were showing and being only what they wanted you to see and for what reason they wanted you to see it. Only those from our past did we still share and give the truth. Never will we go back to that again.
So interesting and something I hadn’t even thought to relate this feeling to! Thank you for sharing
In a professional setting, ultimately everybody is there to make a buck, and anything that is unrelated to that goal gets in the way. I don't want to make friends (or enemies) at work, I don't want to deal with quirky personalities; I want to get things done and go home with my family with as little stress as possible. Am I my "true self" at work? Hell, no! And I appreciate that most coworkers do the same, for the same reasons.
Hey Courtney! I've struggled a ton with feeling generally lost in life after some stellar outdoor experiences. I totally get where you're coming from. I feel like I'm stuck on a mountaintop with an incredible perspective on the world around me, but zero clue on my destination or the fulfillment I might find there. Thank you for making such an awesome and vulnerable video. Keep up the good work and hang on to that adventurous soul always. Cheers from the States!
- Sam
Thank you so much Sam! Its comforting to know we're not alone in this feeling :)
I can watch your videos all day. Truly an inspiration. Your videos show the reality of a backpackers day in the life. Keep up the good work and above all SANAMENTE! 🙏🏻
Thank you, I’m so glad you relate! Happy trails!
“Not All Who Wander are lost” The Sacred Mountains in New Zealand have called to me, they are not very far from you if you are in Australia, possibly try your hand at getting an outdoor job in New Zealand river runner guide, trail guide I don’t know whatever’s available in that area, (just a thought…) Awesome video here too! Hugs from the Pacific Northwest 🫶🏼 USA 🇺🇸
W O W O W O W ! This video captures my whole heart! I didn’t do a long through hike like yours, but I did 95 miles on the JMT last summer, solo, at 52… and I’m still trying to figure out the life I want to live forward… end? Nope! Thanks for sharing your journey ❤
This was an incredible watch
I lived out of a backpack for 3 years of my life traversing countries and continents... and now 10 years later, I still feel the way you described. I wish I could say it gets easier, but I'm not so sure that it does. The only peace I've found is the theory I heard once that those of us that love to travel (however it be), have the DNA of our ancient ancestors that were the travelers, explorers, drifters, and pioneers that ultimately mapped the world as we know it today. It's in our blood. And I'm okay with that.
Last but certainly not least, let's not get started with the other type of people out there... the one's that disapprove. The one's who insist "That's what you do when you're older. You're supposed to build a future for yourself while you're young, then you can have fun later." Don't listen to them. They can live their life how they see fit. And you? You live your life how YOU see fit. Drink the coffee if that's what feels right.
Some like to say "You only live once." Not true. You only die once. You LIVE every day in the meantime.
A story I needed to hear today.
Hi Courtney, great heartfelt video!
I also PCT'd in 2022,(finished on my 50th birthday in Aug)
You really captured the post trail dilemma.
After a life full of outdoorsy stuff like the PCT, my advice is, between hikes try to physically push yourself as often as possible, train like you're about to thru hike again next month. It helps (& distracts! 😊)
I'm booked for the GDT 🇨🇦 this July.
Enjoy your youth & keep challenging yourself!
Well done! 🙂 Greg
Love your reflection and perspective on things!
Author John Koenig coined the words, etterath, exulansis, an aulasy, to describe this exact feeling in his collection titled, "The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows". Speaking as a fellow thru-hiker of many long distance trails, I found comfort in reading his collection. As a word of advice...the feeling never truly goes away, and you will likely always pine for more exploration. This is how my thru-hikes ultimately led me to 9 Antarctic Deployments, running countless ultramarathons (including the Barkley Marathons), completing an entirely new PhD program, writing a book on "Treks to Nowhere", and various other wanderings to remote places all over the world. The really interesting thing is sometimes you can find remote and poignant places, really close to home if you just change the way you look at things a little.
You do a really good job at telling a visual story. Much better than the majority of adventurers on here. I think you have your path for the foreseeable future.
Such a huge compliment! Thank you so much, I really hope so :)
Beautiful video as always. I haven't done any long thru hikes, but plan to when I graduate. I do get exactly the feeling you're talking about, though, and it really brings me down. It feels like every second you spend away from nature is a waste of time, and, even when in nature, you're acutely aware of how close you are to infrastructure and people and their trash. It's not a good feeling, and neither is the feeling of nothing you do fulfilling you. What you said about feeling like you're not understood is a great explanation, as is the mention of resenting the place you live (or not). All of it makes me wonder if I'll ever get to a place where I can feel satisfied in my daily life, after the things I've seen and felt in nature. Whatever happens though, I'd do it all again, and more. I don't regret a single hike, trip, or day spent out in the wilderness, no matter how much it messes with me once I'm back home.
This was magical, thank you!
Beautifully put together video. Perfectly encapsulates how I feel after finishing the Camino De Santiago.
In a poem I read about about the Camino, at the end it goes
The True Camino begins when the way ends.
The real journey continues by taking what you've learnt and integrating it into your own life.
Yes, what a beautiful sentiment! I love that :)
Please dont stop sharing your experiences. You have an amazing way of expressing things.
I feel what you articulated here applies to more than feelings post a thru Hike. On some scale I have felt this way after backpacking Europe in my 20’s and also more recently on a smaller scale after experiencing the Kokoda trail. Even a weekend hike has me thinking differently on a Monday as I head into the office
Keep drinking the coffee.
Large mugs, small Cups and tiny Espresso. :)
Love your work
thank you so much for this video... listening to your words I now understand myself, my sadness , my feeling of being lost and disconnected to myself... after 7 years of traveling I returned back home to a big city and to friends and family that I sometimes feel like I don't know anymore..seeing your video makes me understand that I'm not just sad because I miss the road and the sun and the freedom... I miss the person that I was on the road , in the sun, free...! beautiful video...the way you tell your story ,you can feel its real and true
Your storytelling and way of narrating puts my soul at ease. Keep it up and can't wait to see what's next!
Thanks for video! I have struggled with how I have felt myself. I am married to a wonderful woman with 2 kids and one granddaughter. Within a few months of getting back to reality I was back to work in a job I have had for years. Life is back to normal. But I feel like I am trying to discover what I have learned from this long journey. Life is simple on trail. You have time to reflect and enjoy the slow pace of life. Back home everything moves so fast and time seems more crunched. I miss the daily adventure of life, seeing new things and new places. My wife and I are making plans to do more adventuring in the future. I just hope to hold on to the person I was on trail and grow from that experience.
It can totally feel like two seperate people, the person in your normal life and the person on trail. Hopefully we can find a way to bring them together :)
Eve!! I’m 42 and your journey brought tears to my eyes. Tears of joy and of longing to find ‘all that’ in the little things.
What a messy rat race we get stuck in and what joy when we break out of it.
I’m in Canada and with 2 almost teenage kids, my life path will need major derailment to hike the PCT, BUT, I’m looking and planning to enjoy what’s around me.
We have a wonderful set of parks that offer a lot of backpacking opportunities, and I choose to be busy until that day finally arrives, when I hike your hike.
Keep posting.
Loving it.
Len
Wow this was probably the most relatable video I’ve ever watched. I was never able to understand the feeling or even explain until watching this. Thank you
I so much love my job, I can watch this without envy.
There's a Robert Frost poem where he says something like "you gotta love what you do" (Two tramps in mud time)
What do you do, if I may ask?
Hi Courtney, I hiked the PCT in ‘21 and it was my first thru and not something I knew about until stumbling on Dixie and Darwin videos during covid lockdown. It was the greatest experience of my life. I missed it all afterwards which started an ongoing saga and I hiked the AZT six months later but it was not the same. I then did my first Ironman but again not the same. I then started hiking the Te Araroa south island but was injured in a fall. So I then went bikepacking around Japan which was special but still not in the PCT echelon. I dont socialise so much these days and consider my real friends the PCT hikers I message on insta but never see (I live in Thailand) I have always been a driven person and the PCT made me feel so purposeful. I love watching PCT videos and recognising it in other hikers. Best wishes with your plans and I will follow your channel with interest.
The most danger I’ve ever been in when doing outdoor activities was on a local bike ride in the British summer. It was an easy 40k on a sunny day so we didn’t pack waterproofs or enough snacks. I rained and we just got wet and kept going and my friend and I found ourselves in the beginning stages of hypothermia, in Dorset, in summer. Adventures are everywhere!
This is my first time viewing your channel. I'm very impressed with not only your message and story, but your video style, natural on-camera presence, and editing choices. Really enjoyable and relatable. Best of luck with your future projects and travels. 'Figuring it out' is an ever-changing and lifelong process!
What a fantastic, thoughtful, beautifully conceived and rendered video. Bittersweet. But at least you have that trestle bridge to head out to repeatedly and enjoy.
Wow, that is a heck of a video! Well done. Very well done. I'm coming to the end of 8 years sailing the South Pacific out of NZ. Time to go back to work. You've captured the mixed emotions I'm feeling so vividly. Grief and gratitude in equal parts. Thanks for letting me know they are natural and not my unique affliction. Thanks for your open and honest voice.
An extremely transparent video about mental health Courtney. Thank you for sharing, please keep it up ❤
Fantastic video Courtney. I've watched it three times now because it resonates so much. While I've not done anything as significant as hiking the PCT, I believe your observations are equally relevant to anyone who goes on proper adventures and really enjoys having to focus and strip away all the bullshit to achieve their goal. I've usually decided on the next adventure before I get home from the one I'm on. However, life gets in the way and I find myself in a constant battle between what I'm expected to do and what I want to do. It is very frustrating.
You're young and clearly an excellent story teller. And like you said, you have all the pieces and just need to put them together to create the life you want. The videos you've made are very unique because of your authenticity and vulnerability. I hope you make many more.
Hey! Thank you so much, I feel that struggle especially right now when all I want is to book another adventure but I know I should be “adulting”. It’s nice to know we’re all just trying to figure it out together ☺️
Adulting is a necessary evil unfortunately. The challenge is making the good stuff happen in amongst all the other crap that life throws at us but you seem to be doing a good job there.
Love this. I've thru-hiked 2000km in 2019and have been struggeling with similar feelings ever since. I like your reflection, it helps me.
I wasn’t expecting to have such an emotional response, I’m 20 and I started hiking around the beginning of the year when I got into mycology. My dad and I took a trip to the Rockies and at the time I was in bad shape, good shape relative to how I was before I started hiking but not great.
My dad decided we should go straight up the face of the mountain, cause of course. It was steep and fucking hard, It was the hardest thing I have done in my life, I hurt like I never hurt before and sweat like a mofo, which didn’t help the fact I brought almost no water as I forgot to fill my bottle.
Most of the assent is a blur of pain and sarcastic complaints but one thing that stuck with me is the feeling of looking down and seeing clouds. The pride and amazement I felt taught me how to love pain and embrace a challenge.
Ever since then I have lost 60lbs, have Been hiking 20km a day in 25lbs of kit. Im in the best shape I’ve been in my entire life. I can do things physically that I used to look at others and think of them as hero’s for being able to do.
When we got to the top of the mountain it turned out that the summit was still a ways away, luckily mostly of the horizontal axis.
Even after 5+ hours of pain and very little water I would have climbed every damn mountain in that range. Ever since that day I have been chasing that high.
Nothing can compare, and believe me I’ve tried. I’ve started camping in harsh conditions and hiking in even harsher Terrain.
Mt. Sulphur taught me that I can do it, no matter what it is. I can rely on myself to survive and push far past my limitations and thrive doing so. I’ve spent my entire life relying on those around me, my autism and back problems limiting me in ways I was never prepared for. But that trip showed me that I didn’t need to be prepared, I needed to be brave, strong, and trust myself enough to try.
Thank you for making this video, it resonated with me in ways I didn’t know a video could. I’m looking forward to joining you in my search for meaning in the face of what I believed for so long to be the impossible.
I did only 9 days one in Scotland my first long distance hike and even after that I can relate to these feelings so they must magnified if spent months on trail…I feel ever since I just want to be out there I just want to walk and hike long distance hikes…nothing else compares to it…and I try every opportunity I have…hoping to do thru hikes on the big trails one day. The connection with nature and the simple is the thing I miss the most in the other life…I can’t quite fit in and I feel only truly home in mountains…but I’m trying to live with what I get go hiking and bring the happiness of it to my every day life…you’re right once eyes of the truth of connection we feel with ourselves and the environment on these hikes is seen it’s hard to live in disconnected world.
To me what I look back wistfully on is that life based on basic survival that gave you primal raw freedom. Love your work Courtney.
I 100% agree, nothing to worry about but keeping yourself alive! Thank you for watching
This feels so familiar. My family lived in an RV for a year and half during covid times and I struggled to go back to living in a brick and mortar house again. I just couldn’t bring myself to live that life again.
Thank you for sharing! Youre a great story teller. I followed you along on your TD trip and watched the Walking on a Dream with you an Jack I aspire for more in my life and many thjngs you sadi here struck a nerve with me. keep doing what you do, people are watching and are getting inspired by it. I'm not where i want to be but I'm not where i used to be. Thank Goodness
oh my goodness!! This "somewhere" you visited is my home town!! there is some amazing hiking there and beautiful national parks
This is an incredible video, I feel you captured the essence of a thru hike so purely, I am inspired and maybe one day I will take that leap (step) and get out onto the trail, this video will be a small part of that.
CEW you weave such a genuine, heartfelt, incredibly well crafted, honest, well written tale. Please, please, please, keep doing what you are doing!
Thank you so much! Hope I can keep making these forever :)
Such a great video! I have felt something similar after my high school exchange year. The year felt like it was a whole life in a year, and now I'm living my second life. Weird, but those experiences always come back to me
OOOF GIRL... beautifully delivered video. I feel ya. Once you have an experience that changes you so deeply its about living to your fullest, shedding what society expects of us and following your heart. Whatever that looks like.
Love this wonderful video,have a lovely Easter and stay safe fan debs xx ...........
Happy Easter Deb! Thank you for watching :)
@@courtneyevewhite my pleasure you have a lovely channel debs xx
Another beautiful video, one of the best I've seen in awhile. It's a hard message to share, but there's many people in the same boat as you. Please keep sharing your adventures and your messages. Hope you are enjoying Scotland, it's a magical place!
Beautiful and eloquent description!
I am about to „finish“ two years of vanlife. In that period I also did a through-hike in Bulgaria. Your thoughts resembled with my fears of coming home. 😅 Now, I am even more motivated to not become my old self once I got home, life is to precious to be lifed inside.
Thanks for this message on the eve of my hike. Hits home.
I did the AT and PCT in my 20,s. Last year I completed the CDT at the age of 53. I thought all that back home turmoil was behind me. It’s been sneaky as I now realize that the CDT is still in my head every day just like the other two used to be.
This is a really great story
Amazing that you were able
to break away and do the PCT… but also see that more simple and shorter adventures can bring a lot of joy too. All the best in whatever you’re training for now.
Yeah it's hard to remember but those small trips are just as amazing! Thank you for watching :)
Every video on your Chanel is just so amazing and inspiring
Wow! Clever, insightful, moving! You have a tremendous way with words and a gift for story telling. You should write a book. I'd be first in line to purchase a copy of whatever you have to say.
Thank you for this. I’m looking for that to.
Its an addiction and that´s why we feeel bad when we don´t hike. I try to use every weekend and every holiday (I am a teacher) for hiking or bikepacking. That´s when I trully feel alive and happy. I know exactly, how you feel. 🙂
Your laugh makes my heart melt
Such a cool vid! Thanks for sharing 🙏🏼 surely you’ve found your path ✨
Very well thought out and an interesting perspective. Thank you for putting it together and I hope you have a fun adventure planned for this year. Rock on!
What a great piece of Art!!!
Drink the coffee!
Great video! I wish I would have seen this after my thru on the AT in 2012. Post thru hike funk is real. My plan is PCT in 2024. Live your best life!
Crazy how it’s so universal! Goodluck for 24!
Bad ass video. Honestly I needed this ❤ you made my day and helped me realized a lot about my way of thinking. I just did 6 months in the back country in the Klamath national forest. best and worst days of my life. life is much simpler with out the bullshit. loved the video make more :)
Thank you so much for sharing.
Your videos are always so well done. Thank you for sharing!
I really loved this video and relate to a lot of what you said. I believe in you! Small steps lead to big changes
Wow. Amazing video. Thank you for all that effort and dedication and for this intimate insight in your soul. I feel humbled.
I feel that same way that you feel about missing the trail about Fly Fishing. I feel like I am wasting life not being in the rivers trying to pit my wits against some fish somewhere. Or hunting for that matter. The thrill of the chase. It is wild.
You have a lifetime subscriber here!!!! I love and appreciate what you do
This is the most beautiful thing ive seen today :)
Outstanding! Love the capture of so much of what speaks to the heart of Australia without it atually being about that. Really well put together and I love the treatment of the video. I felt like I was back in Dad's Holden in the 1970s with the window down. Can I ask where the valley is at 0936?
After hiking the Appalachian Trail I slept outside on a picnic table until it was too cold to do it anymore. It confirmed to my family that I was as odd as they always thought I was. The transition was difficult & it took me 5 years to get back on trail to hike the PCT. Luckily I met my future husband and we planned a life of saving money and long distance hiking. After our 4th hike we tired of living with parents and always having to start a new job and we decided to pay it back and become trail builders. We joined an Americorp program and learned how to build hiking trails and became professional trail builders, traveling around the country and still living an outdoor-forward life. We built our house, hiked the PCT again, and are building another house where we can walk out the door and hike for days without having to even get in a car.
I think the secret is not treating life like you are climbing a mountain. It isn't all going to be 360 view from the top of the peak. Life is more like a thru-hike...it is having to make the long train ride/flight/etc and be patient and nervous as you're getting to the trail (boring but necessary). It is making yourself get out of your tent on a rainy/snowy morning when your socks are frozen. It's the beautiful sunrise, the perfect lunch spot, the traverse over Goat Rocks. It's also the long climb you take where you struggle and everything is socked in and your only reward is knowing you had the strength to get through it all. Hike without apps to help--you'll get lost, it will be an adventure. Real life is more like hiking the CDT where you will have to bail off the trail due to bad weather and walk a road every now and then.
To really love hiking is to love the struggle, to see beauty in the smallest flowers, to smell the Ponderosa Pine bark, taste the fresh spring water, to allow all of your senses to relish the freedom you have. The greatest gift a thru-hike can give you is the confidence to set goals and do everything it takes to achieve them. Treat your life like a thru-hike, get over that next pass, get to the next town, celebrate with a great meal. Evaluate your gear and go out and have a great time. Plan your next big adventure and keep moving forward and try to make your life as awesome to come home to as your hike is to go on. I'm 57 and I'm just getting there, but I still have a bucket list a mile long! Happy hiking to all.
This video is amazing! I relate to this so much. I have recently moved from Aus to the UK and hiked Scotland as soon as I arrived. Looking for more hikes all the time, and hiking buddies. Let me know if you're ever over this way, next on my list is the dolomites. 😊
All the best for Scotland. Will be awesome to have you here in the UK and so excited to see any videos you do produce! You're a great storyteller 📚
Thank you so much! See you in the UK soon :)