The reason it becomes internal, in my experience, is a social environment that makes you believe that crying out for help won’t get you it. It’s a product of ‘deal with it yourself’ or ‘stiff upper lip’ cultures.
Also, i recognized it very much from the famous Swedish author Jan Guillou, who wrote the book "Ondskan" (The evilness") about the pennalism he and many others were subjected.to in a famous Swedish boarding school for the upper class. He described that defiant pride so very well. And he later used it to be fearless enough as journalist to whistleblow on the secret swedish political homeland espionage unit IB.
He is an absolute idiot. If you think anxiety is as simple as this, you are an utter idiot. He should not be allowed near patients. Go and read freud or lacan if you want someone who can actually think.
I like him too but he is not "spot on" with only talking about minorities being in worse shape and disadvantaged. He says this over and over. Not true AT all. He has to open up and expand more. Also, he called people who didn't want the crap clot shot "conspiracy theorists"
Totaly get that ,I have no support network either, silent screams, no one listening or caring, in a world where mental health is supposed to be taken very seriously, no total bollocks,these are dark times and no one cares, not in the UK anyway, can't speak for any where else
Mindfullness kicks both anxiety’s and depressions butts up and down the block all day every day. Stay in the moment because it’s all you will ever have.
As a palliative care specialist I used to turn families away who arrived in hospice with lawyers to sew up their futures. Patients needed me to keep them in the moment
@@Chris-wj8fzUhh I appreciate the thought, but people need to take care of their final affairs legally. lots of paperwork comes with death unfortunately
@personmcdudeguy you miss the point entirely. Patients would instruct us to deny access to family members some estranged with greedy motivations. The patient was dying in the moment and not interested in the funeral and legal business. You do not seem to appreciate that death is messy and people can go out intestate if they choose
Yes people who don't experience anxiety don't understand. They ask me what I'm worried about or what's upset me. But I don't know and they get frustrated when I can't explain why I can't stop it.
Many cry for help, but trusting who to turn to is most frustrating! So many don't understand or truly care like Gabor Mate. Im 68 and just learning in the past few years what childhood trauma did to me. Ive been an outcast all my life! Im not a victim!
He has described anxiety perfectly. I had suffered from it for years. It's an awful way to live. Our Lord Jesus Christ set me free. Believe and Receive 👍♥️✝️
Turn to Jesus, surrender and submit to the Lord. Speak to him, he longs to hear your voice.❤️Praying definitely helps, it has helped me on so many occasions. 🙏🏼
@@NotARussianBot999 thanks this is so true. Once you are aware of this, you start taking control of fear and focusing on positive thinking. I've also heard that fear is false evidence of things appearing real. This has been good to know that when those fearful thoughts come in, I can hold them captive and suppress them cos there's no truth to them.
@@metamorphos0 I haven't read any of his books, so unfortunately I won't be the right person to recommend any. But from my experience and what is working for me, I'm truly focusing on positive thinking and being aware of my thoughts through manifestation and visualization. By this, I'm conquering all my fears slowly and steeping into a life that I can look forward to. Focusing on only positive allows me to quiet the noise of negative thinking. It's a conscious daily practice, but as long as you stay consistent you should see tremendous progress. Hope this helps you on your journey 🙏🏽
I have been suffering from exactly this and more for much of my life due to S.A. I was on the brink of total implosion, and at that last moment, i prayed to My Creator, then reached out to one of my friends closest friends who has been a friend all my life. My friend is supporting me to get bsck into the world one step at a time and being supported to get back into the swings of life. We need to breathe the air and feel the sun.
Here are two Christain ministries that have been a blessing and answered prayer in overcoming fear and anxiety, (Onorato Diamante) and ( NeedGod net) all praise and Glory to God.
Finally, anxiety is simplified for non professionals. Fear is a simpler word to digest than anxiety which people like to throw around thus assuming impossibility and delay in healing. As a therapist, I don’t say anxiety to clients, we talk about fear and it quickens their healing.
Fear and anxiety are not the same. If you think that, you are incompetent. Being afraid of a bear and passing out from a panic attack at the precise same moment each time (because of some form of unconscious association) is not the same.
@@999dayslater depends on how you look at it. A 6 and 9 look the same from different positions. Next time just state your thoughts and restrain your conclusions ✌️
I agree with this, and also anxiety to me isn't necessarily a conscious fear but more of a chronically activated nervous system that is on high alert/ hypervigilance that makes my body feel tired and tense with different pains and inflammation throughout, or tension headaches, or being emotional with little trigger, or having stomach pains and indigestion, or flare ups of eczema. It's somatic not necessarily always cognitive?
I totally agree anxiety becomes more somatic which is why regular embodiment practices is crucial. It’s constantly training the nervous system to override known and unknown triggers.
This is more accurate - if ones brain has proper well being...they wouldn't have a deficit that allows them to feel like this This country and this world have been conditioned a particular way...and now it's difficult to impossible to get anyone to diagnose the source properly...which is usually one or more hormonal deficiencies
there are brain retraining systems that purport to take the sympathetic nervous system out of its constant high alert along with the somatic symptoms that go along with this kind of condition. there are about 20 of them out there and they range dramatically in cost and time.
You’re so right. I love to watch your videos, helps me feel safe. I wish I could have you as my therapist to help me conquer my fear of the world. Had traumas since my childhood and adulthood. Hard to find someone that understands and listens.
fear is so destroying. managing anxiety can really diminish fear. i cant help but remember the fact that the bible mentions not to fear over 300 times.👏🏼💯
The chronic anxiety that evolved from unresolved fear, will keep progressing into other things too, such as addictions. Not intentionally, but in an attempt to deal with internal nagging feelings when they should try to heal them. Edgar Allen Poe wrote something regarding this dark shadow within many years ago and I think what he said is still true today for many people. "I have absolutely no pleasure in the stimulants I sometimes so madly indulge. It has not been in the pursuit of pleasure that I have periled life and reputation and reason. It has been in the desperate attempt to escape from torturing memories, from a sense of insupportable loneliness, and a dread of some strange impending doom." 😮
This is because as small children frequently we were left unconsoled when we cried or needed help or were overwhelmed and afraid or confused or helpless. So we learned that 1. We were incapable to help ourselves (because as children we were to weak to do so) 2. Our parents did not care enough to come for us, to truly help and comfort us. Or if they did, they resented us and rebuked us for it
Or, at the time, the general theory was it’s good to allow a child to exercise their lungs, or, the child learns to self-comfort, or, your caregiver is deaf (my mom).
I suffer from long lasting anxiety. My parents both died when i Was 24. And this is the root cause. There are days when it's ok, some other days are really hard. Specially when dark thoughts kick in. But i keep going. suplementation helped me a lot. B12 (sometimes i take 2xdaily norm) D+K2 (4000 UJ daily), fish oil. Going out with gentle and kind people, even for short cofee. And in spring and Summer a lot of activity on fresh air, and in sunlight, nature got the power to heal your soul. Sometimes i pray and this help a lot also. Those are my tips for anxiety. GodBless.
Whenever he speaks, I learn. When the world feels unsafe or I start with the assumption that I’m unsafe in the world, that no one has me, my nervous system is on full alert, high stress and high anxiety. It’s easy for me to use confirmation bias to validate the assumption the world is unsafe, and I have to be intentional about dropping that and assuming people are my potential friends, doing the same things I do in life - not intentionally to derail me. I have to use my somatic awareness and change my energy, calm my nervous system, change my thought patterns. I wish it wasn’t so hard, so much work.
@@999dayslater True it is more complicated. I was just feeling that way then and had bad anxiety because of it and realized that feeling unsafe and unloved can cause very bad anxiety that often possibly isn't even consciously understood by the person experiencing the anxiety. However, yeah, there are so many other reasons to be anxious. That's just one of them and it sucks.
I get you Also the three Pillars of anxiety are unmet (Dr John Delony) - Autonomy(not in control of tomorrow) - Safety (physically/emotionally.... unsafe) - Connection (who can I rely on calling in the middle of the night, how deep are the bonds?!)
You are absolutely right! Children who grow up unsafe and/or unloved have a greater risk of developing anxiety as adults, so what you are saying is spot on.
Failure to thrive due to not fulfilling developmental milestones dependent on levels and layers of connection and meaning. My human development psych classes discussed this in depth, and at first I thought it was a bit of a stretch to assume as much, but over the years, this has shown itself to be so true.
This is me in a nutshell. There was a time not long ago, I was beginning to deal with my trauma. I was gaining confidence, and being creative. Now I'm nervous about everything and my confidence is shrinking
I admire and agree with your statement. I've suffered from anxiety since childhood. I've yet to have had any 'Cry for help' be reciprocated or taken seriously. I've learned to find techniques to care for, sooth and manage my anxiety alone. Ppl just don't understand and that's ok.
I live with a chronic anxiety disorder. It's taken me most of my lifetime to figure out a few specific fears that happened to me during my childhood. Those single few problems that were never dealt with resulted in a major anxiety problem and a lifetime of different forms of addiction. I wish I would have been able to learn all of that about 30 or 20 years ago. It would have saved me from a lot of suffering that continues to hurt me every year over and over again.
Fear rules my life. Everything I do , fear gets in the way.. so sick of it. There’s got to be a way to stop this intrusive feeling Everyone is fear based. What a waste of life Thank you Dr Mate’ for all you do
I really wish I could meet Gabor Maté... I have so much unresolved trauma and it's taken up til my late 20s to realize it. After over a decade of drug addiction and finally getting on my recovery journey the more I sobered up the more everything I had numbed down rose to the surface. Was recently diagnosed with BPD and ADHD but I think those are just labels to better allow psychologists to treat and medicate you. There is a reason I developed the way I am; anger issues as a young child, insomnia through my teens til now, crippling anxiety and depression, as well as brain fog, memory issues, poor concentration, fatigue then Hypochondria and now all the stress has caused chronic autoimmune issues and gastrointestinal issues. I believe it is all connected because the gastrointestinal issues started when the abuse started as a child and have gone on and off every since. The best I can do is read one of his books and continue doing different group therapy that uses DBT and mindfulness. But I feel like I need more than that... I just can't afford it. Which book of his is a good place to start?
That was the best way to explain it 💔 The people in my life can't understand what's wrong and why I can't say what's wrong. Fear of everything and anything, constantly, bottom line
I can relate my abusive parents, which made me afraid of everyone and just being afraid of confrontation and just being afraid, and I have no support and never did my whole life.💔😢
@@MajidahMateen-xd9rx it's never easy growing in an environment like that. I'm so sorry you had to feel that. I can totally relate to the afraid... Fear has consumed me my entire life. It will pass though, mine has mostly now. Allow yourself to feel, acknowledge it and eventually it moves on ❤️❤️❤️ hugs to you 🥰
Dr Maté, I'm an elder woman with a 45-year history of RA. I've been paying attention to you for several years. I respect you enormously. You've been explaining and lecturing about trauma and people who "give" at their own expense. I believe that since I began watching you, you now look years younger. I don't sense the heavy aura that I saw before. I believe that in a great degree you've healed yourself. I believe that's true. I hope it is.
I used to think anxiety meant people were just a bit anxious until I got it and now realise it’s a horrible illness that can destroy your life and make you feel like you’re finished. Even just the physical pain alone is too much when your nervous system is that sensitive.
I have inbuilt anxiety. I can't remember not being anxious. But I mask it and try not to let it stop me in life, which I have achieved for the most part. I think it's hormonal because whilst I have issues in my past, I have worked my way through them honestly yet still the damned anxiety remains in moments of tiredness or trouble.
I have terrible anxiety couldn’t even show up to the family thanksgiving the other day stayed home and ate cereal. I’ve been waiting for my insurance to go through for counseling but I believe mine comes growing up I’ve always had outdoor cats and live in Minnesota. The winters get extremely harsh and as a kid i didn’t know how to aid and saw many die in strange and sad ways. As I got older it just became my thing to be attached to animals. I started making shelters and got a spay/neuter program to come out. Even at one point built a little cat town outta plastic boxes. Now I am 20 and still have many cats but I’ve spent well over $500 this year for shelters, heated bowls etc. it’s become such a big deal in my head because I’ve seen some bad things and even still there are cats that get injured or sick and I can’t stand the suffering. I’m watching the weather constantly and making sure to throw extra straw but the constant worry that one is sick, cold, hurt, etc sickens me. I have two indoor cats as well only because I found them both nearly dead and felt it would be wrong to wait for there recovery and just send them back out (kittens) so having healthy indoor cats also adds to the guilt of the outdoor ones. It’s such a stupid situation but such a big one in my head.
Our biggest problem is being too sensitive to this world and being too aware of right and wrong while also being aware things will never be good/perfect.
Gabor Mate is, imo, the most insightful and logical person available to offer complete, logical explanations of human behaviour and information to work through destructive, detrimental thoughts and actions within yourself and changes to make yourself a beneficial part of society and your own life. I offer this compliment after 19 years, from age 40 to my current age of 59 years old, of past and ongoing in depth work on figuring out who I am, and why I am perpetually attracted to only destructive, detrimental thoughts and actions regardless of negative results and consequences of that
Truth. I’ve had chronic disabling anxiety since age 21. I’m now 56 and got away from my family, but I’m absolutely disabled now so there is no hope for me. I’m not panicking anymore though. I’m just exhausted and depressed. But, I don’t that’s chemical. I believe sonetimes it’s “normal” for people to feel exhausted and depressed. A pill can’t cure a sick society.
Makes a lot of sense to me. I grew up in an abusive home and as I got into my teens I would get terrible anxiety in social environments. Once I got away from my crazy family my anxiety went away.
That's my case. I lost my mother at six, my father was apsent and two of my sisters were narcisist. One of them was really devil so I experience the world outside as really dangerous, and I really cry a lot.
I sometimes use my "present" self to listen to and put at ease the worries and fears of my "past" self. Almost like parenting myself. It's taught me a lot about parenting my own kids and vice versa.
I had awfull fear, didnt know why, for 11 years. Doctors wouldnt/couldnt help me. But one day I went to a akkupunktur dr. who treated IBS and the Vagusnerve and the fear dissapeared.
We have to face fear....overcome it..by solving the problem of what we are afraid of..then that fear goes away...we have to deal with it ..not run away from it..
You're missing the point, with generalized anxiety you fear so much that it becomes one big messy lump of fear. You don't even know what you fear to face it in the first place, you just know you're afraid all the time. He even says this at the beginning of the video, its no longer fear of a specific thing, it's just fear of the world.
Yes, he is so right. People are triggered from past trauma. They hope to find soneone to ease their fears, not create new ones. Yes, having a faith helps too and provides a value structure in your life. People, I believe are sent by God for you to help and for them to help you. You are supporting one another in life's trials and sharing life's joys. Don't stop encouraging one another That's the love of God reflected in mankind. We energize one another. Saying to someone, I will be there for you in order for them to have that added strength. We do provide each other with shields and strength. Don't just say discouraging comments but add in what you do like about each other and never stop letting them know this in small ways and big ways. Nurturing someone builds them up, rather than tearing them down.
I had chronic anxiety for 30 plus years I don't anymore my nervous system and body feels safe stored emotions have been released new habits are formed. It's because of Garbor mates teachings alongside Peter levine that I have been able to come to this space within my body
We are tribal/communal by nature, born into a society that forces and encourages individual self interests, a big chunk of that indoctrination begins in preschool and runs through the heart of our education system. We can do so much better.
I feel like I'm afraid of life. Like I don't belong here. I'm a stranger just trying to survive each day with chronic anxiety and depression. Even in my own home the fear i constant. What about those who have sought help but nothing has changed. I cry it out when it gets so bad and get some relief and also at night when the world sleeps. I live a quarter of a life with some peace at night. Frightened of everything during the day, I can't work, I can't socialise, my dog is my only outlet into the world outside. Psychologist and psychiatrist have done their best but I'm stuck in this nightmare. 😟
This is happening to me, especially over the last year. I have two beautifull daughters and just don't stop worrying or assessing the future and thinking about how its going to pan out for them.
That's been me for 10+ years. It's SO hard to break out of omg... I never got help when I cried out. When I needed it- I got punished, so you learn to stop thinking anyone will be there for you and instead they are looking for ways to attack you. It's so hard to trust again.
Here is the predicament-- and is freeing to understand this. When we or anyone experiences intense fear, injury, trauma, some of our first reactions are fear, panic, anxiety, flight, fight, freeze, fawn, [people pleasing] what I call the 3D's, Disorientation, Dissociation, Disconnection--now these reactions and other sensory data gathered from the scene of the painful incident create incomplete, malformed memories. These create neural pathways that lead to 'downstream' behaviors that can be 1st, 2nd, 3rd cousins, once, twice, three times removed from the original first reactions. In other words, Anxiety, panic, mood, personality and most mental disorders. If we look at mental illness as Downstream effects from the first reactions to a previous incident of intense fear, injury, trauma we could then shift our attention to the fragmented, malformed memories which develop; downstream from these first reactions, and are directly and indirectly associated with these mental disorders and then process the memory like anyone would process a trauma.
Children who experienced trauma have to fight especially hard to not let fear and the past take over. Stay strong.
I am a child of horrific and horrible abuse from my parents and adulthood abuse, and I have such deep trauma and anxiety 😢
I am in recovery. It was a relief when my therapist said, "the world is not that unsafe. You were neglected."
EMDR therapy can help enormously with this. Best wishes.
@@Okeezy-v7gThis comment hit deep
@@Okeezy-v7g"when you are born in a burning house you feel like the whole world is on fire when it's not"
The reason it becomes internal, in my experience, is a social environment that makes you believe that crying out for help won’t get you it. It’s a product of ‘deal with it yourself’ or ‘stiff upper lip’ cultures.
Yes. And that is a "lack of compassion" trauma. Trauma almost always shows as pride in being tough enough to take any beating.
@@svanstroll
Yes 💯 %. I’ve always felt that way and yet have suffered from chronic anxiety and panic attacks my whole life.
@@donacatanguma
@@donacatanguma
Also, i recognized it very much from the famous Swedish author Jan Guillou, who wrote the book "Ondskan" (The evilness") about the pennalism he and many others were subjected.to in a famous Swedish boarding school for the upper class. He described that defiant pride so very well. And he later used it to be fearless enough as journalist to whistleblow on the secret swedish political homeland espionage unit IB.
This man is so special.
His deep compassionate understanding never ceases to amaze me. Once again he’s spot on.
He is an absolute idiot. If you think anxiety is as simple as this, you are an utter idiot. He should not be allowed near patients. Go and read freud or lacan if you want someone who can actually think.
I like him too but he is not "spot on" with only talking about minorities being in worse shape and disadvantaged. He says this over and over. Not true AT all. He has to open up and expand more. Also, he called people who didn't want the crap clot shot "conspiracy theorists"
@ Jenn, your raining on my parade for one of my heroes. You know no one’s perfect…✌🏼
@@akitajapan1651 ?
That's a shame.
Fear for me is having no support network. We're not meant to live like this
Exactly.
I feel that. Feels horrible walking alone with no one to help hold you up when you feel like your falling 😞
Totaly get that ,I have no support network either, silent screams, no one listening or caring, in a world where mental health is supposed to be taken very seriously, no total bollocks,these are dark times and no one cares, not in the UK anyway, can't speak for any where else
Same 💔
Jesus is your forever support ❤
Fear that’s not dealt with becomes chronic anxiety, I felt that!!😢
Same. 😢 Especially not having a safe adult to help you process the fear. This is what leads to chronic anxiety.
If everybody was like Gabor Maté, what a wonderful world we would have.
"being in the world is a source of fear" hits home. Stay strong friends.
Mindfullness kicks both anxiety’s and depressions butts up and down the block all day every day. Stay in the moment because it’s all you will ever have.
As a palliative care specialist I used to turn families away who arrived in hospice with lawyers to sew up their futures.
Patients needed me to keep them in the moment
@@Chris-wj8fzUhh I appreciate the thought, but people need to take care of their final affairs legally. lots of paperwork comes with death unfortunately
@personmcdudeguy you miss the point entirely. Patients would instruct us to deny access to family members some estranged with greedy motivations.
The patient was dying in the moment and not interested in the funeral and legal business.
You do not seem to appreciate that death is messy and people can go out intestate if they choose
Thank you I so needed to hear this right today. ❤❤❤
@@kristiandoon8976 I hope whatever is causing you pain is within your control to manage differently.
this man is so incredibly comforting
I like to call him Papa Gabor
But where is the substance? Where are the specifics? Where is the adhere-able treatment plan? This is just empathy with no solution.
@@GabrielBacon no he gives plenty of advice in how to address it, just got to watch more videos
@@GabrielBacon Read his books. The man is brilliant. You’ll find out.
@@GabrielBaconthis 30-second clip doesn’t encapsulate all of his thoughts on anxiety and how to treat it lol
Yes people who don't experience anxiety don't understand. They ask me what I'm worried about or what's upset me. But I don't know and they get frustrated when I can't explain why I can't stop it.
Many cry for help, but trusting who to turn to is most frustrating! So many don't understand or truly care like Gabor Mate. Im 68 and just learning in the past few years what childhood trauma did to me. Ive been an outcast all my life! Im not a victim!
@@paulalane8638 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽
I can relate. Especially when you feel abandoned by your family and they have caused you chronic anxiety & PTSD
it is true, because most of people are in the same traumatized situation. So, sometimes it is just a risky hope to get helped by others.
This man is amazing I have waited a lifetime to hear this and understand why. ❤
yes, I agree- I find his voice very soothing
Gabor Mate is a gift to humanity ❤️
So true
He has described anxiety perfectly. I had suffered from it for years. It's an awful way to live. Our Lord Jesus Christ set me free. Believe and Receive 👍♥️✝️
How did you get set free? I love Jesus and want to stop having anxiety
@@user-gq9zf8sb8ifor me is studying bible, imaginative praying and gratitude
I'm a Christian. Please stop acting like you can just pray away a disorder or disease, that's not how Jesus works.
I'm a Christian. Please stop acting like you can just pray away a disorder or disease, that's not how Jesus works.
Turn to Jesus, surrender and submit to the Lord. Speak to him, he longs to hear your voice.❤️Praying definitely helps, it has helped me on so many occasions. 🙏🏼
So powerfully said. Gives more insight to how I’m breaking free from my chronic anxiety.
You can do it! 💪 ❤
I once heard someone say "the definition of anxiety is "fear of an imagined future"." I think that's a great thing to keep in mind. ❤❤❤
Would you suggest a book of him to read?
@@NotARussianBot999 thanks this is so true. Once you are aware of this, you start taking control of fear and focusing on positive thinking. I've also heard that fear is false evidence of things appearing real. This has been good to know that when those fearful thoughts come in, I can hold them captive and suppress them cos there's no truth to them.
@@metamorphos0 I haven't read any of his books, so unfortunately I won't be the right person to recommend any. But from my experience and what is working for me, I'm truly focusing on positive thinking and being aware of my thoughts through manifestation and visualization. By this, I'm conquering all my fears slowly and steeping into a life that I can look forward to. Focusing on only positive allows me to quiet the noise of negative thinking. It's a conscious daily practice, but as long as you stay consistent you should see tremendous progress. Hope this helps you on your journey 🙏🏽
I have been suffering from exactly this and more for much of my life due to S.A.
I was on the brink of total implosion, and at that last moment, i prayed to My Creator, then reached out to one of my friends closest friends who has been a friend all my life. My friend is supporting me to get bsck into the world one step at a time and being supported to get back into the swings of life. We need to breathe the air and feel the sun.
Here are two Christain ministries that have been a blessing and answered prayer in overcoming fear and anxiety, (Onorato Diamante) and ( NeedGod net) all praise and Glory to God.
I'm so glad you have a friend that cares for you like that. Hope you're doing much better now
Just the sound of Dr Mates voice soothes me. I would love to meet him.
Yes! He put to words what I didn't know how to explain for so long!
I absolutely adore Dr. Gabor Maté.
He's such a loving and compassionate soul ❤
Something soothing about his voice. ASMR.
He seems such a gentle man
I just love his voice and the way he talks. Something so soothing about it.
This man is so amazing. Even had the honour of meeting him and to hear him speak on addiction and its correlation with trauma.
Finally, anxiety is simplified for non professionals. Fear is a simpler word to digest than anxiety which people like to throw around thus assuming impossibility and delay in healing.
As a therapist, I don’t say anxiety to clients, we talk about fear and it quickens their healing.
God did not give us the spirit of Fear but of Power and of Love And of a sound mind Amen❤
I only get anxious and edgy is if I've been on a bender on the usual. After day or 2 recovered and all good.
Fear and anxiety are not the same. If you think that, you are incompetent. Being afraid of a bear and passing out from a panic attack at the precise same moment each time (because of some form of unconscious association) is not the same.
@@999dayslater depends on how you look at it. A 6 and 9 look the same from different positions. Next time just state your thoughts and restrain your conclusions ✌️
Thats so interesting as in Dutch we use one word for fear and anxiety and that is 'angst'
Gabor Maté is gold!
He really does speak my life as I have lived it.
I love Gabor maté, his story and teachings are so valuable
I agree with this, and also anxiety to me isn't necessarily a conscious fear but more of a chronically activated nervous system that is on high alert/ hypervigilance that makes my body feel tired and tense with different pains and inflammation throughout, or tension headaches, or being emotional with little trigger, or having stomach pains and indigestion, or flare ups of eczema. It's somatic not necessarily always cognitive?
I totally agree anxiety becomes more somatic which is why regular embodiment practices is crucial. It’s constantly training the nervous system to override known and unknown triggers.
Same
I’ve been dealing with it recently. It’s the worst thing that’s ever happened to me. Fear, extreme emotions, horrible physical pain.
This is more accurate - if ones brain has proper well being...they wouldn't have a deficit that allows them to feel like this
This country and this world have been conditioned a particular way...and now it's difficult to impossible to get anyone to diagnose the source properly...which is usually one or more hormonal deficiencies
there are brain retraining systems that purport to take the sympathetic nervous system out of its constant high alert along with the somatic symptoms that go along with this kind of condition. there are about 20 of them out there and they range dramatically in cost and time.
Love this guy!
So plainly stated yet succinct.
Marvellous.
You’re so right. I love to watch your videos, helps me feel safe.
I wish I could have you as my therapist to help me conquer my fear of the world. Had traumas since my childhood and adulthood. Hard to find someone that understands and listens.
fear is so destroying. managing anxiety can really diminish fear. i cant help but remember the fact that the bible mentions not to fear over 300 times.👏🏼💯
I'm listening to "When the Body Says No" and I just want to cry hearing the stories because I can relate so much.
The chronic anxiety that evolved from unresolved fear, will keep progressing into other things too, such as addictions. Not intentionally, but in an attempt to deal with internal nagging feelings when they should try to heal them. Edgar Allen Poe wrote something regarding this dark shadow within many years ago and I think what he said is still true today for many people. "I have absolutely no pleasure in the stimulants I sometimes so madly indulge. It has not been in the pursuit of pleasure that I have periled life and reputation and reason. It has been in the desperate attempt to escape from torturing memories, from a sense of insupportable loneliness, and a dread of some strange impending doom." 😮
Those two together worked out a better understanding...and I appreciate it. Thank you.
Dr. Maté, you are just wonderful❤
This man is an absolute Genius! I Love Dr. Gabor Matte!❤❤❤😂😂😂❤❤❤
Awareness of the causes of chronic anxiety opens the door to lasting relief. 🌟🧠
This is because as small children frequently we were left unconsoled when we cried or needed help or were overwhelmed and afraid or confused or helpless. So we learned that
1. We were incapable to help ourselves (because as children we were to weak to do so)
2. Our parents did not care enough to come for us, to truly help and comfort us. Or if they did, they resented us and rebuked us for it
Or, at the time, the general theory was it’s good to allow a child to exercise their lungs, or, the child learns to self-comfort, or, your caregiver is deaf (my mom).
Not eve
I acquired mine in secondary school when I was shamed by my schoolmates.
I suffer from long lasting anxiety. My parents both died when i Was 24. And this is the root cause. There are days when it's ok, some other days are really hard. Specially when dark thoughts kick in. But i keep going. suplementation helped me a lot. B12 (sometimes i take 2xdaily norm) D+K2 (4000 UJ daily), fish oil. Going out with gentle and kind people, even for short cofee. And in spring and Summer a lot of activity on fresh air, and in sunlight, nature got the power to heal your soul. Sometimes i pray and this help a lot also. Those are my tips for anxiety. GodBless.
Whenever he speaks, I learn. When the world feels unsafe or I start with the assumption that I’m unsafe in the world, that no one has me, my nervous system is on full alert, high stress and high anxiety. It’s easy for me to use confirmation bias to validate the assumption the world is unsafe, and I have to be intentional about dropping that and assuming people are my potential friends, doing the same things I do in life - not intentionally to derail me. I have to use my somatic awareness and change my energy, calm my nervous system, change my thought patterns. I wish it wasn’t so hard, so much work.
Anxiety is feeling or being unloved and thusly feeling unsafe which is absolutely valid.
Its about 10,000 more complicated than this. Go and read freud or lacan.
@@999dayslater True it is more complicated. I was just feeling that way then and had bad anxiety because of it and realized that feeling unsafe and unloved can cause very bad anxiety that often possibly isn't even consciously understood by the person experiencing the anxiety. However, yeah, there are so many other reasons to be anxious. That's just one of them and it sucks.
I get you
Also the three Pillars of anxiety are unmet (Dr John Delony)
- Autonomy(not in control of tomorrow)
- Safety (physically/emotionally.... unsafe)
- Connection (who can I rely on calling in the middle of the night, how deep are the bonds?!)
You are absolutely right! Children who grow up unsafe and/or unloved have a greater risk of developing anxiety as adults, so what you are saying is spot on.
@@KhurtyRamudu thank you. i grew up in a home like that and I'm sure that it contributed to my mental health stuff.
Love his humble style & great silver in this video too. Great segment.❤️🩹
Failure to thrive due to not fulfilling developmental milestones dependent on levels and layers of connection and meaning. My human development psych classes discussed this in depth, and at first I thought it was a bit of a stretch to assume as much, but over the years, this has shown itself to be so true.
This was painful to hear. But truth liberates. Hearing this helped me understand myself a little better, which will eventually subside the anxiety.
fear of rejection, fear of the unknown, fear of failure is how social anxiety and generalized anxiety happen
This is me in a nutshell. There was a time not long ago, I was beginning to deal with my trauma. I was gaining confidence, and being creative. Now I'm nervous about everything and my confidence is shrinking
You sound like me. From about 2018-2020 I felt super confident. It’s all been downhill from there…
I admire and agree with your statement. I've suffered from anxiety since childhood. I've yet to have had any 'Cry for help' be reciprocated or taken seriously. I've learned to find techniques to care for, sooth and manage my anxiety alone. Ppl just don't understand and that's ok.
He is a gift for all of us one amazing man !❤
I live with a chronic anxiety disorder. It's taken me most of my lifetime to figure out a few specific fears that happened to me during my childhood.
Those single few problems that were never dealt with resulted in a major anxiety problem and a lifetime of different forms of addiction.
I wish I would have been able to learn all of that about 30 or 20 years ago. It would have saved me from a lot of suffering that continues to hurt me every year over and over again.
Thank YOU Dear Dr. Mate, YOU have answered my Chronic anxiety,_ as it is Fear of being in the world, of people, became engraved as Anxiety.
Fear rules my life. Everything I do , fear gets in the way.. so sick of it. There’s got to be a way to stop this intrusive feeling Everyone is fear based. What a waste of life
Thank you Dr Mate’ for all you do
He is so good. Amazing! Can't wait to listen to the entire interview and grab one of his books!
I hope certain individuals hear YOU Dr. Mate. for this I pray.
I rarely ever cry. This is actually very accurate.
Going through anxiety since last year, this explanation makes more sense to the why 😢
How do I find a channel that is all about this man his heart is unbelievably deep.
Type his name into Google followed by 'TH-cam'. His videos will come up. Then you can 'subscribe' (free) and any new video will be sent to you.
Great summary of how we globalize our traumas.
I was SA as a child and I find it’s getting worse the older I get! PTSD is anxiety’s best friend!
Sorry you went through that 🫶🏽 sending love and healing
@ thank you! 😊
Very well said gentleman! ☺️
I really wish I could meet Gabor Maté... I have so much unresolved trauma and it's taken up til my late 20s to realize it.
After over a decade of drug addiction and finally getting on my recovery journey the more I sobered up the more everything I had numbed down rose to the surface. Was recently diagnosed with BPD and ADHD but I think those are just labels to better allow psychologists to treat and medicate you. There is a reason I developed the way I am; anger issues as a young child, insomnia through my teens til now, crippling anxiety and depression, as well as brain fog, memory issues, poor concentration, fatigue then Hypochondria and now all the stress has caused chronic autoimmune issues and gastrointestinal issues. I believe it is all connected because the gastrointestinal issues started when the abuse started as a child and have gone on and off every since.
The best I can do is read one of his books and continue doing different group therapy that uses DBT and mindfulness. But I feel like I need more than that... I just can't afford it. Which book of his is a good place to start?
That was the best way to explain it 💔 The people in my life can't understand what's wrong and why I can't say what's wrong. Fear of everything and anything, constantly, bottom line
Much relate.
Same 😢
Same with me!!😢
I can relate my abusive parents, which made me afraid of everyone and just being afraid of confrontation and just being afraid, and I have no support and never did my whole life.💔😢
@@MajidahMateen-xd9rx it's never easy growing in an environment like that. I'm so sorry you had to feel that. I can totally relate to the afraid... Fear has consumed me my entire life. It will pass though, mine has mostly now. Allow yourself to feel, acknowledge it and eventually it moves on ❤️❤️❤️ hugs to you 🥰
Dr Maté, I'm an elder woman with a 45-year history of RA. I've been paying attention to you for several years. I respect you enormously.
You've been explaining and lecturing about trauma and people who "give" at their own expense. I believe that since I began watching you, you now look years younger. I don't sense the heavy aura that I saw before.
I believe that in a great degree you've healed yourself. I believe that's true. I hope it is.
I rewatched the video to look for signs of what you commented, and I have to say I agree with you.
@seajelly2421 I agree, too!
Wonderful human being❤
I love Dr Gabor ❤🥹
I used to think anxiety meant people were just a bit anxious until I got it and now realise it’s a horrible illness that can destroy your life and make you feel like you’re finished. Even just the physical pain alone is too much when your nervous system is that sensitive.
Oh the day I can comfort myself the way it feels when someone comforts me😮
Tout à fait souffrance.....gratitude amazing
Thank YOu for your words.
I learned something about myself here.
God bless him 🙏🏽 I’ve watched many interviews of him over the years ❤
I have inbuilt anxiety. I can't remember not being anxious. But I mask it and try not to let it stop me in life, which I have achieved for the most part. I think it's hormonal because whilst I have issues in my past, I have worked my way through them honestly yet still the damned anxiety remains in moments of tiredness or trouble.
Dr. GABOR, one smart man!!
I have terrible anxiety couldn’t even show up to the family thanksgiving the other day stayed home and ate cereal. I’ve been waiting for my insurance to go through for counseling but I believe mine comes growing up I’ve always had outdoor cats and live in Minnesota. The winters get extremely harsh and as a kid i didn’t know how to aid and saw many die in strange and sad ways. As I got older it just became my thing to be attached to animals. I started making shelters and got a spay/neuter program to come out. Even at one point built a little cat town outta plastic boxes. Now I am 20 and still have many cats but I’ve spent well over $500 this year for shelters, heated bowls etc. it’s become such a big deal in my head because I’ve seen some bad things and even still there are cats that get injured or sick and I can’t stand the suffering. I’m watching the weather constantly and making sure to throw extra straw but the constant worry that one is sick, cold, hurt, etc sickens me. I have two indoor cats as well only because I found them both nearly dead and felt it would be wrong to wait for there recovery and just send them back out (kittens) so having healthy indoor cats also adds to the guilt of the outdoor ones. It’s such a stupid situation but such a big one in my head.
Our biggest problem is being too sensitive to this world and being too aware of right and wrong while also being aware things will never be good/perfect.
@ that’s very true. I take note from the Bible and believe it’s a broken world I used that as a reminder.
Meditation can cure this, it relieves the physical anxiety
Thank you, helps my understanding of my own anxiety.
Gabor Mate is, imo, the most insightful and logical person available to offer complete, logical explanations of human behaviour and information to work through destructive, detrimental thoughts and actions within yourself and changes to make yourself a beneficial part of society and your own life. I offer this compliment after 19 years, from age 40 to my current age of 59 years old, of past and ongoing in depth work on figuring out who I am, and why I am perpetually attracted to only destructive, detrimental thoughts and actions regardless of negative results and consequences of that
Truth. I’ve had chronic disabling anxiety since age 21. I’m now 56 and got away from my family, but I’m absolutely disabled now so there is no hope for me. I’m not panicking anymore though. I’m just exhausted and depressed. But, I don’t that’s chemical. I believe sonetimes it’s “normal” for people to feel exhausted and depressed. A pill can’t cure a sick society.
Many fears stem from harsh experiences. Thinking they will re- visit their life again.
These two guys are the best
Very well put 👍🙏
Makes a lot of sense to me. I grew up in an abusive home and as I got into my teens I would get terrible anxiety in social environments. Once I got away from my crazy family my anxiety went away.
That's my case. I lost my mother at six, my father was apsent and two of my sisters were narcisist. One of them was really devil so I experience the world outside as really dangerous, and I really cry a lot.
I sometimes use my "present" self to listen to and put at ease the worries and fears of my "past" self. Almost like parenting myself. It's taught me a lot about parenting my own kids and vice versa.
I had awfull fear, didnt know why, for 11 years. Doctors wouldnt/couldnt help me. But one day I went to a akkupunktur dr. who treated IBS and the Vagusnerve and the fear dissapeared.
His books are so amazing!
We have to face fear....overcome it..by solving the problem of what we are afraid of..then that fear goes away...we have to deal with it ..not run away from it..
You're missing the point, with generalized anxiety you fear so much that it becomes one big messy lump of fear. You don't even know what you fear to face it in the first place, you just know you're afraid all the time. He even says this at the beginning of the video, its no longer fear of a specific thing, it's just fear of the world.
Some things are not problems. They are effects of childhood abuse
Well said, its a horrible feeling and you literally feel like your losing your mind and you dont know why. 😢@pozzarefds
Yes, he is so right. People are triggered from past trauma. They hope to find soneone to ease their fears, not create new ones. Yes, having a faith helps too and provides a value structure in your life. People, I believe are sent by God for you to help and for them to help you. You are supporting one another in life's trials and sharing life's joys. Don't stop encouraging one another That's the love of God reflected in mankind. We energize one another. Saying to someone, I will be there for you in order for them to have that added strength. We do provide each other with shields and strength. Don't just say discouraging comments but add in what you do like about each other and never stop letting them know this in small ways and big ways. Nurturing someone builds them up, rather than tearing them down.
I wish I could get a letter to him. I’ve suffered my entire life and tried everything. I feel he could help.
This man is a genius.. my hives almost feel less itchy
We are beautiful spirits who were hurt deeply too young. Freedom is a breath away 🌟
When a baby cries from hunger and is ignored can actually carry on their whole life. 😢
I'm now understanding my chronic anxiety.
Well, we live in serious times. We are not living well together as humans
That’s like so raw and honestly true!
I had chronic anxiety for 30 plus years I don't anymore my nervous system and body feels safe stored emotions have been released new habits are formed. It's because of Garbor mates teachings alongside Peter levine that I have been able to come to this space within my body
Well said.
We are tribal/communal by nature, born into a society that forces and encourages individual self interests, a big chunk of that indoctrination begins in preschool and runs through the heart of our education system. We can do so much better.
I feel like I'm afraid of life. Like I don't belong here. I'm a stranger just trying to survive each day with chronic anxiety and depression. Even in my own home the fear i constant. What about those who have sought help but nothing has changed. I cry it out when it gets so bad and get some relief and also at night when the world sleeps. I live a quarter of a life with some peace at night. Frightened of everything during the day, I can't work, I can't socialise, my dog is my only outlet into the world outside. Psychologist and psychiatrist have done their best but I'm stuck in this nightmare. 😟
Spot on 🙏 ❤
It’s very true. He put it in the exact wording. .
This is happening to me, especially over the last year. I have two beautifull daughters and just don't stop worrying or assessing the future and thinking about how its going to pan out for them.
That's been me for 10+ years. It's SO hard to break out of omg... I never got help when I cried out. When I needed it- I got punished, so you learn to stop thinking anyone will be there for you and instead they are looking for ways to attack you. It's so hard to trust again.
Here is the predicament-- and is freeing to understand this. When we or anyone experiences intense fear, injury, trauma, some of our first reactions are fear, panic, anxiety, flight, fight, freeze, fawn, [people pleasing] what I call the 3D's, Disorientation, Dissociation, Disconnection--now these reactions and other sensory data gathered from the scene of the painful incident create incomplete, malformed memories. These create neural pathways that lead to 'downstream' behaviors that can be 1st, 2nd, 3rd cousins, once, twice, three times removed from the original first reactions. In other words, Anxiety, panic, mood, personality and most mental disorders.
If we look at mental illness as Downstream effects from the first reactions to a previous incident of intense fear, injury, trauma we could then shift our attention to the fragmented, malformed memories which develop; downstream from these first reactions, and are directly and indirectly associated with these mental disorders and then process the memory like anyone would process a trauma.