YES. There are so many shows and movies of women being at each other's throats over some petty reason or another. I loved that this show opted to have them overcome those problems and become close friends. We need more women supporting women 💅.
I know it was the 2000’s, but I hate that Paris’s mental health struggles were played for laughs. She only had her nanny for consistent support and even the nanny went away after high school. Paris deserved better.
So, this is an interesting point but prior to two thousands all these were hidden on television. Meltdowns happened off screen or at the situation without explanation and you'd only get an explanation when a character experienced that as they talk about it after. I personally felt most of Paris fallout was there to remind that even the "best" have bad days (and why they have them), and more humanizes Paris than makes light of her.
Paris comes from a wealthy Jewish family and a lot of people for a long time have written off neurotic high achieving Jewish people, especially women, as nothing more than a cultural cliche. It’s entirely possible that people in Paris’s life would have just written her off as this cliche and not realized that she had serious mental health problems. Rory is so right in this case that her therapist is not helping. Some therapists struggle to properly diagnose teenagers cause teenage hormones and angst can muddy the waters when looking for the root of serious mental health problems. I really wish the show had taken some time to dissect Paris’s mental health issues. They do show her working on it freshman year but it kinda falls by the wayside.
"You have strengths, you have weaknesses, same as everybody else. So either none of us deserve love, or all of us do." I always like that framing, that we deserve love not because of anything we are or have done, but simply BECAUSE we are. Same as everybody else.
I wouldn't mind one bit if you did a commentary on every single episode. There are so many themes and nuances that would make for very interesting content. Also, I'd like to recommend to watch and react to the series "Being Erica".
I want to give Paris a friendly hug. Especially the part about other girls getting planned dinners, flowers, candy rose pedals thrown on the floor. She see the best parts about other people's lives and think that it is their norm. The expression "wing it" exists because it happens to many people. But telling other people that their negative self-image is wrong likely just makes them feel ignored, better to just listen and let them process it themselves.
Sadly and ironically, insecurity tends to drain people around the insecure person, causing friends to draw back, and confirming the fears of the insecure person that people don't want to be around them. If you would hang out with you, others will too 🙂
Hi Jono, I love your Gilmore Girl videos! I was wondering if you were planning to do one in the future about codepency and the emotional parentification of Rory in Lorelai and Rory's relationship, and how that affected her. Growing up my mom would tell me about her emotional problems, and I thought of us as friends. But now I'm staring to see the negative effects on me such as trouble with emotional regulation and decision making, and struggles establishing independence. Though that might apply more later down the line as we see Rory's transition into college and how it affects her adult life. Much love!
I went through that aswell. I think the show doesn't portray that type of parent/-child relationship realistically. They don't show the negative effects... :)
@@voyance4elle I thought that at first too, but after rewatches I'm starting to see how Lorelai's parenting is a big factor in why Rory ends up the way she does. So I don't think the show is necessarily saying that one parenting style is better than the other, I think people just choose to interpret it that way
So glad you went back to talk about Paris and Rory! At my absolute worst, I totally understand and empathize with Paris in this scene. I'm not nearly as bad as that anymore, thank goodness. Although, my besties would probably say that I'm still there by their standards 🤣. It's a work in progress, constantly lol.
One of my favorite things about this show was that people who start off seeming unlikable grow and, as you get to know them, you (and the characters) start to like them. They might be a little odd or not the typical charismatic likable person but, once you get to know them, they are cool people. Paris isn’t the only one. It’s a theme throughout.
Rory's and Paris' relationship development is really fun to watch. This video made me think I would really love to see Jono talk about some of the other friendships on the show. Lane and Rory and/ or Sookie and Lorelai. Those two characters and their stories are also so important for our main characters' growth :D
Paris is me a lot of the time. I love her character. She has the world of confidence in her abilities but not in herself as a person. She doesn’t understand why someone would find her desirable as a friend or romantic partner because she feels she’s so annoying half the time. It’s her crux. If she had an ounce more self confidence, she’s take over the world :). I like her arc in learning to deal with her vulnerabilities, insecurities, and when she starts making friends, dating, getting into a major, etc. Sometimes with Paris like characters… they want concrete evidence based reasons they should believe in something, even if it’s themselves. Tell them of a time they made you feel inspired or supported and watch them light up like a Christmas tree, not even for ego, but because nobody probably tells them these things. Or they’re in a spiral and bat away every compliment, ha!
Oh I 1000% identify with wanting concrete evidence based reasons why they should believe in something. Do others not? (I guess with all the self help and manifestation stuff I've read, it seems not), but that's the whole issue for me. Without concrete evidence, it feels delusional to believe something, and believing something positive without evidence feels arrogant and self-aggrandizing and, again, delusional. Now granted, as someone prone to negative thinking (and this might be true for others as well, especially Paris), it's also about retraining our minds to notice the positive evidence and frame it as such and continue to do so without minimizing it or explaining it away. But you're 100% right.
Rory and Paris’s friendship development is one of my favorite things on the show tbh!!! It’s so interesting watching their dynamic. They were each other’s best friend, or at least, Rory was Paris’s best friend, not the other way around because Rory didn’t see Paris as hers. But I don’t care what Rory says lol she was in denial. They were besties! I love their intellectual banters and how they constantly push each other to be better and have these rare soft moments that end up being so profound that they completely overshadow the serious part of their relationship. Their friendship is one of the reasons why I kept watching the show all those years ago. It’s so entertaining and there’s always something juicy and intriguing going on between them where I’m never bored. It’s always fun and informative with them. I learn a lot about the idea of friendship with them. You need someone who gets you, and they just get each other and know exactly how to handle each other in times of both crisis and not. They’re the type of friends I associate with the term “friends for life!” Thanks for your lovely videos. I always look forward to the Gilmore Girls ones as it’s one of my favorite shows of all time :)
I thought you really hit the nail on the head in this one. I'm kind of hoping for a full retrospective of Christopher at some point, because I would love to hear your thoughts.
Knowing and believing that our worth is innate and inherent, and that it's not predicated upon what we achieve or our standing in life, is one of the hardest lessons to learn. I struggle with it to this day, and I'm in my 40s! I don't know why it's so difficult for me, but the friends and support system I have in my life now goes a long way towards helping me get to the point where I can believe it (and know it) in my heart. Thank you for this video.
I heard someone say that our brain or inner monologue sometimes is like a mad uncle xD You love the uncle, you spend time with the uncle, maybe go out and eat icecream together but you don't listen to the crazy stuff and ideas and things the mad uncle is constantly babbling XDD I really liked this image!
I think everything you said here was perfect and well said. I too can relate to having this low level of low-self-worth snd never feeling good enough and it’s extremely draining and crippling.
Couldn’t agree more, just cuz we brush off the reassurances, doesn’t mean they’re not helpful. Hearing it multiple times, over time, it adds up. Especially the over time part because, at least for me, it’s the longevity part where I have problems. Being likeable off the bat comes easy to me, but having dates/romantic interests stick around longer term is where I keep having issues. And it becomes demoralizing over time. 😢
Agreed that the demoralizing over time is what’s really tough to let go of. I’m chronically ill and I have had consistently dismissive and even dehumanizing experiences with drs. Also consistent bad or fizzling out dating experiences. It’s really tough to look on the bright side when you have so many consistently bad experiences 😞
I love that Paris can be vulnerable enough to admit to Rory that she feels insecure about her appearance and Rory to be a good enough friend to go into the closet even though she knows it’s ridiculous. A lot of the time, female friendships are difficult and we’re unwilling to admit to a friend that we feel insecure for fear of coming off looking bad.
Everytime I date I tend to find stupid reasons to push guys away bc I think they’re going to ghost me or pick someone else. I rather reject myself than be like Paris. I met a guy that treats me like a queen and that’s good. He’s been so patient and persistent, that I’ve given up on pushing him away. Might actually let myself be cared for. The ending of this video was so needed right now 💙
I understand the protective of daughter energy in response to jess - that does make sense. I would suggest though that the way you can so empathically attribute Paris' negative behaviours to deep seated insurity needs to be applied to jess as well.
-I've tried to convince people of their worth before, when they just didn't see it. Didn't work until they were ready to see it. -"Prepare for the worst and hope for the best" is one of my most commonly used sayings!
You need to listen to the “I’m all in” podcasts when you finish the show!!!! It’s Scott Patterson aka Luke Danes watching the show and talking about it!!! You will definitely have some things to say!!! 💖😁
I've always related to Paris' catastrophizing(sp?), not to this extreme cuz this is a tv show, but I tend to do the same when it comes to dating, making new friends, job interviews, etc. I loved Paris and Jamie together, I was so sad when Paris broke up with him. Especially the *way* she did it and the *why.* If you know, you know. 😔
Dean was okay back when they dated. A flaw of possessiveness, but a lot of good qualities. He got worse. Jess was terrible when they were together. Maybe got better? Logan was actually the best imo, up until the reboot. He had a rocky start, and maybe had a flaw of valuing his independence too much to dedicate to a partner, but he grew a lot in that area. Then he was a douche in the reboot. Granted... so was Rory 🤷🏼♀️ So at the end of the day I agree with you, lol. All those relationships were toxic at some point.
Yes, and: As someone who is a woman and was a teenage girl, let me advise Jono as a parent that... "Good" boys can be soooo much more dangerous than bad boys for smart good girls like Rory. Because smart girls will eventually figure out that... Well, the guy is just a jerk, right? Yes, it might take sometime... It might take a ride... But, as it happens in the show (not a spoiler, right? Since we already know that at somepoint there will be a team Logan), it will ends. BUT the problem with the "good" boy it's how they flip out our minds. Even being a smart girl, and maybe exactly because you're smart, you'll be forever the wrong one (cause, after all, he is a good guy, right?) and if he loves you... So you should be greatfull, you must pay him back but, you'll be always in debt. And if he's a BOY, he will be imature, he will keep the score, and it can be really toxic and last for years and years of guilt, confusion... So... Keep watching. By the way. Tell us what did you think about the monologue Rory does to Lorelai when she loses her gaduation cerimony. She doesn't WANT to fall for Jess. But she is falling for him. That's so touching... Why sometimes we can't keep ourselves to do the idiodic thing?
I'd love love love to see you talk about the episode "Dear Emily and Richard" and talk about the impacts of teen pregnancy, especially with a family like Lorelai's where her parents want her to marry Christopher and are more concerned about his future than their daughter's
Oh yes!!! :D Love that scene!!! But for that scene I think you have to see the interaction with his dad and Luke first... To understand why he's so angry.
@@doesitmatterwhoiam8838 Sorry I don't mean to be rude. I just was in a relationship for years with someone bipolar and studied this illness a lot and learned a lot about it. There is nothing about Paris that indicates that and it's a very very serious condition.
I've never watched Gilmore Girls but clicked on this anyway because I can relate. I'm 51 now but growing up my mom always told me no one would ever love me. I latched onto the first person that said they loved me and, of course, they were abusive. I was with my ex for 15 years before I got out. I've been single since 2015 and honestly I can count the number of times someone has asked me out on a date on one hand. It's really hard to believe I'm worthy of love when I feel the whole world has been giving me the opposite message my entire life.
Amanda means "worthy of love," but I sure do struggle with believing it. It also feels like it fits in the "mean girls" stereotype, and it's kinda been checking out in real life. I only know of one other good Amanda, and she used to be my therapist before getting promoted.
@SaucyJTD Good to hear! I have been feeling so insecure about not knowing many good Amandas. Most of the ones I've encountered have been pretty bad. But, I don't want to give it up, either. I do love my name. It just sucks that the ratio is uneven in my life. And it's not like I'm gonna be prejudiced against Amandas, but I just might still have that notion in the back of my mind. I should bring this up with my therapist tomorrow.
I never knew that's what it meant, I know it can be difficult but you are absolutely worthy of love ❤️ Also, my tattoo artists name is Amanda and she's a good one too. They're out there :)
@voyance4elle It's more of my own perception, and it's probably false. It doesn't help that most of the others I've encountered haven't been good. Also, there are so many blonde ones. My hair used to be a blonde-ish color until I got it cut in 2020. Now, I'm more of a brunette. I'm just overthinking things. Don't mind me.
Please please please do season 2 episode 14 (maybe 13?) where the gilmore girls meet Christopher's new girlfriend! Im sure its a situation a lot of people find themselves in meeting an exs new partner! Especially the father of your child! I'd love to know your thoughts on how everyone handled the situation
Other than the bullying part. I am Paris. I've always believed (flat out told by my dad confirmed it) I'll never be loved so when a guy shows any interest I either don't believe they may actually like me for me but I always know they have an ulterior motive. I can sympathize and empathize with her. It helps me to be able to be kinder to people because I can always understand how they are feeling.
I’ve been writing a story that’s low key a self insert and the main character only struggles with self love because I do. I’m not as insecure as Paris, but I can relate to her anxiety so much because all it takes is one shitty person to confirm what we say about ourselves already. But yeah I’ve never seen Gilmore Girls (even though I’m in my 30s), but it’s on my list now.
I just want to say that I'm greatly enjoying how perfectly fine Jono is with Dean. He's not my favorite (in fact, as characters, I much prefer Jess) and he does some objectively terrible things later on, but so much of the unrelenting vitriol toward Dean among fans just leaves me hoping everybody stretched before those reaches.
Honestly, I feel like Paris often. Especially as a now 33 year old single woman, people see me as "old." How do you get past insecurities that other people have placed on you? I feel like I wouldn't feel like I do without the degrading comments others tell me. I know I shouldn't take what people say to heart, but it is hard to get up when people kick you when your down.
Paris meltdowns are the best meltdowns. With how she builds herself up Paris, really has some flaws which round her off. It nice seeing the bonding moments between her and Rory and it establishes so much these little improvements which are seen in later seasons. I still don't like Paris, but definitely a healthy respect for her.
What I hate is at 8:23 she looks absolutely beautiful but thinks that some guy is gonna notice Rory instead of her? Rory is cute but she’s not the one dressed to go out on a date.
Ok, I hope you read this bc I wanna stand up for the smart teenage girls: not all of us were into 'bad guys' like Jess. I was a teenage girl and I DON'T understand you fellow girls being into someone that treats you like a prize. I hated him too, and still do.
On Jess: part of his appeal is that he doesn't try to come off as any better than he is, which at least is honest. He seems worse than he is, because he doesn't *try*. You can analyze that if you want, but in the end he doesn't fake anything to impress anybody. Maybe except the fake crime scene.
The fake crime scene, the “someone devil egged my car” scene and the scene with Luke and Jess in the boat after the swan “beaked” Jess are 3 of my fav scenes with him - I love the Jess/Luke relationship so much more than the Jess/Rory one
7:05 as a teenage girl people saying you don’t understand what it’s like to be a teenage girl like yea but that doesn’t make Jess any better??? just because it makes sense that Roy’s naïve right now doesn’t mean that just is not an asshole
As someone who was an adolescent teenage girl when this show was big (I was 14), I still knew from the beginning that Jess sucked and have NEVER understood the hype. I also was a book nerd. I worked at a library for 15 years. STILL don't get the hype about Jess. It's ok for everyone to have the preferences and everyone is going to disagree. However, I always found that chalking up "bad taste or bad decision making" to general reasons like being young to be highly problematic. I don't like the terms "bad taste or bad decision making" but used them for a lack of a better alternative atm. It's not an automatic right of passage to date or crush on the worst guys. I think that being dismissive about why we feel or behave the way that we do doesn't really give us space to actually grow. A lot of the people dismissing it that way winds up making those same mistakes as they get older and just throwing similar and dismissive reasons on to why later i.e. "Well I was like 20" or "I was going through a rough period", etc
I guess maybe specificity would help in this regard. I think to the extent people dismiss this sort of thing as "youth", it's used as a stand-in for "inexperience", even though the Venn diagram isn't perfect. Youth goes hand in hand with fewer first-hand experiences, fewer opportunities to have witnessed others' relationships, fewer overall life experiences, and a less developed pre-frontal cortex. I guess "youth" is used as a catch-all for these sorts of things as to why it's understandable that someone with these characteristics would be more prone to making xyz decisions, even if not every youth would make such decisions (like yourself). You're right though, that this lack of specificity can be damaging in many directions. It can be used to dismiss unwise / hurtful behaviors and absolve people of more responsibility than perhaps it "should" (eg. some of what I'd consider Rory's emotional cheating violates the golden rule of "treat others the way you want to be treated", so I think excusing stuff like that on account of "youth" would be a bit problematic). Conversely, it leaves us unable to empathize more with adults who, despite their age, might not have had the opportunities to develop in the ways we'd expect to "naturally" come with age. As someone who came from a culture where I wasn't allowed to date in grade school and was somewhat discouraged from doing so even in college, I didn't have as many opportunities for experiences as others might've by a given age (especially earlier in my life), and depending on what circles one encounters (different colleges probably have different dating cultures for various reasons ranging from size to environment to religiosity), one would have different experiences or even options and tradeoffs. I'm big on specificity, which drives me insane when others aren't lol.
Jono I completely get where you’re coming from about Jess especially if you’re looking at him while thinking about how you’d feel if your daughter dated him. My mom would’ve hated him. I just don’t understand why you love Dean. From the very beginning they have different goals in life. He wants “Donna Reed” and Rory wants to be Christiane Amanpour. That doesn’t make for a happy future and then there’s the first breakup because she was wasn’t ready to say I love you and he threw her fear of getting pregnant like her Mom in her face. Then there’s the fact that when she asks him for space he doesn’t respect it and either calls a million times or just shows up. She would have to apologize about being busy because of school projects and not being available to hang out. None of these things have anything to do with Jess and are just Dean being angry and controlling. When I watched with my mom who was a single mother she always disliked Dean and pointed out what he did so I could spot it in future boyfriends when I started dating. Calling Jess a bad boyfriend is completely reasonable, but maybe just take off the rose colored glasses where Dean is concerned. Just my opinion.
I really hope you get to talk about Paris after watching the entire 7 seasons and then how you feel about Paris after AYITL. But thanks for this! It was great!
Thank you so much for your lovely words Johnno that was such a beautiful perspective! About being worthy and lovable I was very moved and, that is definitely something I will always hang onto and remember, thank you so much again!! 🙂😊♡♡
I never fell in deep with Gilmore Girls, like the other xenial girls, but I was huge into Felicity. Maybe because it starts with college and skipped all the high school ish. However, I did like how the redeemed Paris in Gilmore Girls and made her so much more relatable. I don't think that people should be slapping cPTSD and other tables on her character. That dx didn't even exist then. It might have been DSM3 or 4 might have just been released. But these anxieties are not so unusual. It's just over verbalized in this show. All the characters are oververbalizing their overthinking where IRL we would keep some of it to ourself.
I would like to see. After u watched all the episodes. I like to know what a therapist would be able to believe that any of the characters have bipolar, ADHD, autism, ect. With everything u are given.
I agree as you get older the way you see a character can change, but I’m 42 and I honestly don’t think any of them are perfect like people describe. Dean is controlling with anger issues. Jess is a troubled teen who keeps his defenses up so he doesn’t get hurt which pushes everyone away and bf #3 (trying not to spoil) has many great moments, but an equal amount of bad ones for which he always uses grand gestures instead of working through the problem. I honestly wouldn’t date any of them.
I know why you dislike Jess; he's an HSP's worst nightmare. He's selfish, lazy and emotionally dysregulated in a very toxic way. He also hates accountability, which is a core value for you. I hated Jess too and I missed Dean deeply.
I was thinking about that, too! I was never into "bad boy" types. Even as a teenage girl, I wasn't interested in that at all. I didn't mind a "goody-goody", though 🤷♀️
@@kelliehorn1082 goody goody are usually boring i want someone funny not like a class clown as many times theyre bullies (mean spirited humor, dangerous going too far pranks, etc). i like humor and laughs though. i dont want someone who's like too perfect and serious. i dont want like a criminal. however jess wasnt really a criminal he pretty much does harmless pranks and who can blame him as the town didnt really welcome him. and after all that build up, once jess and rory were a couple it wasnt as good as before it fell flat.
@@oooh19 Yeah, I agree there's a sweet spot between too mischievous and too holier-than-thou. In the show, Jess is guilty of committing actual crimes like vandalism and theft, unfortunately. I understand that different girls draw the line in different places, but I draw the line before that 🤔🤷♀️
Hot take but I think Dean is kind of overrated. He’s portrayed as kind but he can be equally possessive and controlling. He’s not that smart and kind of boring. Jess was a jerk but at least he was an interesting jerk. And he grew up. I wasn’t really into either of them that much
I love that they eventually made Rory and Paris become close gal pals, and not constantly be at each others' throats.
YES. There are so many shows and movies of women being at each other's throats over some petty reason or another. I loved that this show opted to have them overcome those problems and become close friends. We need more women supporting women 💅.
This is the only relationship in all Gilmore Girls that progressively got better as the show went on.
True, but I see it as save environment for the viewer to reflect on it and their own experiences.
I would argue that but this is definitely the most noticeable and best of those relationships
Emily and Lorelei
I know it was the 2000’s, but I hate that Paris’s mental health struggles were played for laughs. She only had her nanny for consistent support and even the nanny went away after high school. Paris deserved better.
So, this is an interesting point but prior to two thousands all these were hidden on television. Meltdowns happened off screen or at the situation without explanation and you'd only get an explanation when a character experienced that as they talk about it after.
I personally felt most of Paris fallout was there to remind that even the "best" have bad days (and why they have them), and more humanizes Paris than makes light of her.
Paris comes from a wealthy Jewish family and a lot of people for a long time have written off neurotic high achieving Jewish people, especially women, as nothing more than a cultural cliche. It’s entirely possible that people in Paris’s life would have just written her off as this cliche and not realized that she had serious mental health problems. Rory is so right in this case that her therapist is not helping. Some therapists struggle to properly diagnose teenagers cause teenage hormones and angst can muddy the waters when looking for the root of serious mental health problems. I really wish the show had taken some time to dissect Paris’s mental health issues. They do show her working on it freshman year but it kinda falls by the wayside.
Paris was my favorite character, and I really love that Rory saw her
"Either none of us deserve love, or all of us do - and that includes you" 💕
Can't wait to get Jono's thoughts on season 4/5 Dean.
I honestly never liked Dean after the first breakup, but yeah future videos should be interesting
I think we have a good idea 🤣
What you say in the end is so beautiful "I see you. I have experienced some of that. Know that your worth is innate."
It made me cry.
"You have strengths, you have weaknesses, same as everybody else. So either none of us deserve love, or all of us do."
I always like that framing, that we deserve love not because of anything we are or have done, but simply BECAUSE we are. Same as everybody else.
I wouldn't mind one bit if you did a commentary on every single episode. There are so many themes and nuances that would make for very interesting content.
Also, I'd like to recommend to watch and react to the series "Being Erica".
I want to give Paris a friendly hug. Especially the part about other girls getting planned dinners, flowers, candy rose pedals thrown on the floor. She see the best parts about other people's lives and think that it is their norm. The expression "wing it" exists because it happens to many people. But telling other people that their negative self-image is wrong likely just makes them feel ignored, better to just listen and let them process it themselves.
I honestly just love watching someone laugh at the top tier jokes from GG, that brings me immense pleasure.
Sadly and ironically, insecurity tends to drain people around the insecure person, causing friends to draw back, and confirming the fears of the insecure person that people don't want to be around them. If you would hang out with you, others will too 🙂
💯
Very very true :)
Hi Jono, I love your Gilmore Girl videos!
I was wondering if you were planning to do one in the future about codepency and the emotional parentification of Rory in Lorelai and Rory's relationship, and how that affected her. Growing up my mom would tell me about her emotional problems, and I thought of us as friends. But now I'm staring to see the negative effects on me such as trouble with emotional regulation and decision making, and struggles establishing independence.
Though that might apply more later down the line as we see Rory's transition into college and how it affects her adult life.
Much love!
I went through that aswell. I think the show doesn't portray that type of parent/-child relationship realistically. They don't show the negative effects... :)
@@voyance4elle I thought that at first too, but after rewatches I'm starting to see how Lorelai's parenting is a big factor in why Rory ends up the way she does. So I don't think the show is necessarily saying that one parenting style is better than the other, I think people just choose to interpret it that way
I think it's interesting that other shows implicates similar themes. Like Ginny & Georgia has this similar theme with Gilmore Girls in this aspect.
Jess is a classic right guy and the wrong time--the guy who gets his act together AFTER you break up with him.
So glad you went back to talk about Paris and Rory! At my absolute worst, I totally understand and empathize with Paris in this scene. I'm not nearly as bad as that anymore, thank goodness. Although, my besties would probably say that I'm still there by their standards 🤣. It's a work in progress, constantly lol.
One of my favorite things about this show was that people who start off seeming unlikable grow and, as you get to know them, you (and the characters) start to like them. They might be a little odd or not the typical charismatic likable person but, once you get to know them, they are cool people. Paris isn’t the only one. It’s a theme throughout.
Rory's and Paris' relationship development is really fun to watch. This video made me think I would really love to see Jono talk about some of the other friendships on the show. Lane and Rory and/ or Sookie and Lorelai. Those two characters and their stories are also so important for our main characters' growth :D
So many important relationships in this show. Lane and her mom, Luke and Lorelai, Lorelai and Christopher, Rory and Christopher....
@@LittleCheebs Oh yes Lane and her Mum!!! :D
i got some bad news at the Dr today and definitely feeling "unlovable". Needed this!
I hope your day gets better ❤️
Hugs from Michigan
Paris is me a lot of the time. I love her character. She has the world of confidence in her abilities but not in herself as a person. She doesn’t understand why someone would find her desirable as a friend or romantic partner because she feels she’s so annoying half the time. It’s her crux. If she had an ounce more self confidence, she’s take over the world :). I like her arc in learning to deal with her vulnerabilities, insecurities, and when she starts making friends, dating, getting into a major, etc.
Sometimes with Paris like characters… they want concrete evidence based reasons they should believe in something, even if it’s themselves. Tell them of a time they made you feel inspired or supported and watch them light up like a Christmas tree, not even for ego, but because nobody probably tells them these things. Or they’re in a spiral and bat away every compliment, ha!
Oh I 1000% identify with wanting concrete evidence based reasons why they should believe in something. Do others not? (I guess with all the self help and manifestation stuff I've read, it seems not), but that's the whole issue for me. Without concrete evidence, it feels delusional to believe something, and believing something positive without evidence feels arrogant and self-aggrandizing and, again, delusional. Now granted, as someone prone to negative thinking (and this might be true for others as well, especially Paris), it's also about retraining our minds to notice the positive evidence and frame it as such and continue to do so without minimizing it or explaining it away. But you're 100% right.
Rory and Paris’s friendship development is one of my favorite things on the show tbh!!! It’s so interesting watching their dynamic. They were each other’s best friend, or at least, Rory was Paris’s best friend, not the other way around because Rory didn’t see Paris as hers. But I don’t care what Rory says lol she was in denial. They were besties! I love their intellectual banters and how they constantly push each other to be better and have these rare soft moments that end up being so profound that they completely overshadow the serious part of their relationship. Their friendship is one of the reasons why I kept watching the show all those years ago. It’s so entertaining and there’s always something juicy and intriguing going on between them where I’m never bored. It’s always fun and informative with them. I learn a lot about the idea of friendship with them. You need someone who gets you, and they just get each other and know exactly how to handle each other in times of both crisis and not. They’re the type of friends I associate with the term “friends for life!” Thanks for your lovely videos. I always look forward to the Gilmore Girls ones as it’s one of my favorite shows of all time :)
The best message from Gilmore Girls, especially because this show sets such unrealistic expectations with dating
Please therapize the scene from A Year In The Life where Emily and Lorelai fight after Richard’s funeral.
I thought you really hit the nail on the head in this one. I'm kind of hoping for a full retrospective of Christopher at some point, because I would love to hear your thoughts.
Knowing and believing that our worth is innate and inherent, and that it's not predicated upon what we achieve or our standing in life, is one of the hardest lessons to learn. I struggle with it to this day, and I'm in my 40s! I don't know why it's so difficult for me, but the friends and support system I have in my life now goes a long way towards helping me get to the point where I can believe it (and know it) in my heart. Thank you for this video.
I feel that! It is a hard lesson to learn and thankfully you have those friends and supports to help you get there!
That's been my reality for so long
Thank you Jono. I am stuck in a similar space as Paris. I end up listening to my friends around me because my inner monologue likes to lie to me.
I heard someone say that our brain or inner monologue sometimes is like a mad uncle xD You love the uncle, you spend time with the uncle, maybe go out and eat icecream together but you don't listen to the crazy stuff and ideas and things the mad uncle is constantly babbling XDD I really liked this image!
More Paris episodes please! 🎉
omgg i talked to my therapist abt this today 😭😭
I think everything you said here was perfect and well said. I too can relate to having this low level of low-self-worth snd never feeling good enough and it’s extremely draining and crippling.
My ocd symptoms have been up, and the algorithm is like 👀 😘 💕 ✨ 🧿 😂
I've never related to Paris much, except in scenes like this.
Also would love for you to watch the marvelous mrs. Maisel!!!! Can’t wait to hear what you’d say about her parents other characters!!😁
Wow, believe in the love others have for us before we're able to give it to ourselves is a genius and truthful thought!
Couldn’t agree more, just cuz we brush off the reassurances, doesn’t mean they’re not helpful. Hearing it multiple times, over time, it adds up. Especially the over time part because, at least for me, it’s the longevity part where I have problems. Being likeable off the bat comes easy to me, but having dates/romantic interests stick around longer term is where I keep having issues. And it becomes demoralizing over time. 😢
Agreed that the demoralizing over time is what’s really tough to let go of. I’m chronically ill and I have had consistently dismissive and even dehumanizing experiences with drs. Also consistent bad or fizzling out dating experiences. It’s really tough to look on the bright side when you have so many consistently bad experiences 😞
I love that Paris can be vulnerable enough to admit to Rory that she feels insecure about her appearance and Rory to be a good enough friend to go into the closet even though she knows it’s ridiculous. A lot of the time, female friendships are difficult and we’re unwilling to admit to a friend that we feel insecure for fear of coming off looking bad.
Love your Gilmore Girls and Bridgerton episodes! Please therapize "This Is Us" and "Heroes".
I can’t wait for you to review Paris’s next relationship
Everytime I date I tend to find stupid reasons to push guys away bc I think they’re going to ghost me or pick someone else. I rather reject myself than be like Paris. I met a guy that treats me like a queen and that’s good. He’s been so patient and persistent, that I’ve given up on pushing him away. Might actually let myself be cared for. The ending of this video was so needed right now 💙
Love this ep...
I am very curious about your reaction at the end of season 4. Can't wait!
I understand the protective of daughter energy in response to jess - that does make sense.
I would suggest though that the way you can so empathically attribute Paris' negative behaviours to deep seated insurity needs to be applied to jess as well.
-I've tried to convince people of their worth before, when they just didn't see it. Didn't work until they were ready to see it.
-"Prepare for the worst and hope for the best" is one of my most commonly used sayings!
I started watching the show again because of this youtube series 😂😂 Thanks for that
You need to listen to the “I’m all in” podcasts when you finish the show!!!! It’s Scott Patterson aka Luke Danes watching the show and talking about it!!! You will definitely have some things to say!!! 💖😁
Small world! Scott had me on the show: omny.fm/shows/i-am-all-in-with-scott-patterson/season-7-therapy-session
I love Paris. She’s so relatable. I don’t agree that it’s played for laughs. It’s funny because Paris is Funny
Speaking of This Is Us... I would LOVE to hear your psycho-analysis of those characters and family dynamics.
I've always related to Paris' catastrophizing(sp?), not to this extreme cuz this is a tv show, but I tend to do the same when it comes to dating, making new friends, job interviews, etc.
I loved Paris and Jamie together, I was so sad when Paris broke up with him. Especially the *way* she did it and the *why.* If you know, you know. 😔
Dean, Jess, Logan - they were all bad boyfriends🤷🏻♀️
Dean was okay back when they dated. A flaw of possessiveness, but a lot of good qualities. He got worse.
Jess was terrible when they were together. Maybe got better?
Logan was actually the best imo, up until the reboot. He had a rocky start, and maybe had a flaw of valuing his independence too much to dedicate to a partner, but he grew a lot in that area. Then he was a douche in the reboot. Granted... so was Rory 🤷🏼♀️
So at the end of the day I agree with you, lol. All those relationships were toxic at some point.
I love your videos, because it's always loving and reassuring, also humorous and sometimes wonderfully cheeky! 😊
i want to see your reaction to s4/5 dean and s6 jess so bad
Yes, and: As someone who is a woman and was a teenage girl, let me advise Jono as a parent that... "Good" boys can be soooo much more dangerous than bad boys for smart good girls like Rory. Because smart girls will eventually figure out that... Well, the guy is just a jerk, right? Yes, it might take sometime... It might take a ride... But, as it happens in the show (not a spoiler, right? Since we already know that at somepoint there will be a team Logan), it will ends. BUT the problem with the "good" boy it's how they flip out our minds. Even being a smart girl, and maybe exactly because you're smart, you'll be forever the wrong one (cause, after all, he is a good guy, right?) and if he loves you... So you should be greatfull, you must pay him back but, you'll be always in debt. And if he's a BOY, he will be imature, he will keep the score, and it can be really toxic and last for years and years of guilt, confusion... So... Keep watching.
By the way. Tell us what did you think about the monologue Rory does to Lorelai when she loses her gaduation cerimony. She doesn't WANT to fall for Jess. But she is falling for him. That's so touching... Why sometimes we can't keep ourselves to do the idiodic thing?
I'd love love love to see you talk about the episode "Dear Emily and Richard" and talk about the impacts of teen pregnancy, especially with a family like Lorelai's where her parents want her to marry Christopher and are more concerned about his future than their daughter's
Hope you are blessed Jonoooe
Paris is so insecure but honestly we can’t blame her
I can’t wait until Jono gets to the end of Season 4 and he sees that scene between Jess and Luke after Jess’ mother’s wedding. If you know, you know.
Oh yes!!! :D Love that scene!!! But for that scene I think you have to see the interaction with his dad and Luke first... To understand why he's so angry.
Actually that entire stretch of episodes including all the Gilmore stuff.
You can describe Paris in one word: C-PTSD
I think that might be 5 words 🤪
BPD or Bipolar
I thought she had Obsessive Personality Disorder.
@@doesitmatterwhoiam8838 Definetly not bipolar, that's nonsense.
@@doesitmatterwhoiam8838 Sorry I don't mean to be rude. I just was in a relationship for years with someone bipolar and studied this illness a lot and learned a lot about it. There is nothing about Paris that indicates that and it's a very very serious condition.
Just because you said you read the comments: thought I'd say hi, I love your videos. :)
I've never watched Gilmore Girls but clicked on this anyway because I can relate. I'm 51 now but growing up my mom always told me no one would ever love me. I latched onto the first person that said they loved me and, of course, they were abusive. I was with my ex for 15 years before I got out. I've been single since 2015 and honestly I can count the number of times someone has asked me out on a date on one hand. It's really hard to believe I'm worthy of love when I feel the whole world has been giving me the opposite message my entire life.
You gotta do one on Emily's shopping spree in season 4 it's hilarious 😂
I can wait to see him react to Logan and Rory some day ☝️
Love the rebels clip 😂. Thank you
Would you also analyze the characters of *Suites* or *OC California* ? I would love to see both.
Amanda means "worthy of love," but I sure do struggle with believing it. It also feels like it fits in the "mean girls" stereotype, and it's kinda been checking out in real life. I only know of one other good Amanda, and she used to be my therapist before getting promoted.
@Amanda-zn7ox For what it's worth, I have a cousin whose name is Amanda, and she's pretty damn cool 😎🤘.
@SaucyJTD Good to hear! I have been feeling so insecure about not knowing many good Amandas. Most of the ones I've encountered have been pretty bad. But, I don't want to give it up, either. I do love my name. It just sucks that the ratio is uneven in my life. And it's not like I'm gonna be prejudiced against Amandas, but I just might still have that notion in the back of my mind. I should bring this up with my therapist tomorrow.
I never knew that's what it meant, I know it can be difficult but you are absolutely worthy of love ❤️
Also, my tattoo artists name is Amanda and she's a good one too. They're out there :)
I never knew of that stereotype :) I like the name and would think something positive when I hear it
@voyance4elle It's more of my own perception, and it's probably false. It doesn't help that most of the others I've encountered haven't been good. Also, there are so many blonde ones. My hair used to be a blonde-ish color until I got it cut in 2020. Now, I'm more of a brunette. I'm just overthinking things. Don't mind me.
Please please please do season 2 episode 14 (maybe 13?) where the gilmore girls meet Christopher's new girlfriend! Im sure its a situation a lot of people find themselves in meeting an exs new partner! Especially the father of your child! I'd love to know your thoughts on how everyone handled the situation
Other than the bullying part. I am Paris. I've always believed (flat out told by my dad confirmed it) I'll never be loved so when a guy shows any interest I either don't believe they may actually like me for me but I always know they have an ulterior motive. I can sympathize and empathize with her. It helps me to be able to be kinder to people because I can always understand how they are feeling.
I’ve been writing a story that’s low key a self insert and the main character only struggles with self love because I do. I’m not as insecure as Paris, but I can relate to her anxiety so much because all it takes is one shitty person to confirm what we say about ourselves already.
But yeah I’ve never seen Gilmore Girls (even though I’m in my 30s), but it’s on my list now.
I just want to say that I'm greatly enjoying how perfectly fine Jono is with Dean. He's not my favorite (in fact, as characters, I much prefer Jess) and he does some objectively terrible things later on, but so much of the unrelenting vitriol toward Dean among fans just leaves me hoping everybody stretched before those reaches.
Would love to see an examination of these two through the lens of neurodivergence (autism)
Honestly, I feel like Paris often. Especially as a now 33 year old single woman, people see me as "old." How do you get past insecurities that other people have placed on you? I feel like I wouldn't feel like I do without the degrading comments others tell me.
I know I shouldn't take what people say to heart, but it is hard to get up when people kick you when your down.
Paris meltdowns are the best meltdowns. With how she builds herself up Paris, really has some flaws which round her off. It nice seeing the bonding moments between her and Rory and it establishes so much these little improvements which are seen in later seasons. I still don't like Paris, but definitely a healthy respect for her.
What I hate is at 8:23 she looks absolutely beautiful but thinks that some guy is gonna notice Rory instead of her? Rory is cute but she’s not the one dressed to go out on a date.
Ok, I hope you read this bc I wanna stand up for the smart teenage girls: not all of us were into 'bad guys' like Jess. I was a teenage girl and I DON'T understand you fellow girls being into someone that treats you like a prize. I hated him too, and still do.
BF Character development:
Dean 📉
Jess 📈
Logan ➖
On Jess: part of his appeal is that he doesn't try to come off as any better than he is, which at least is honest. He seems worse than he is, because he doesn't *try*. You can analyze that if you want, but in the end he doesn't fake anything to impress anybody. Maybe except the fake crime scene.
The fake crime scene, the “someone devil egged my car” scene and the scene with Luke and Jess in the boat after the swan “beaked” Jess are 3 of my fav scenes with him - I love the Jess/Luke relationship so much more than the Jess/Rory one
I really feel Paris
Oh no! I've fooled Jono into thinking I'm a good person, AGAIN.
I ALWAYS HATED that Rory didnt just go to Paris !! Then she would have NO reason not believing Rory!!
7:05 as a teenage girl people saying you don’t understand what it’s like to be a teenage girl like yea but that doesn’t make Jess any better??? just because it makes sense that Roy’s naïve right now doesn’t mean that just is not an asshole
You see me? Don't look at me! Don't look at me!
As someone who was an adolescent teenage girl when this show was big (I was 14), I still knew from the beginning that Jess sucked and have NEVER understood the hype. I also was a book nerd. I worked at a library for 15 years. STILL don't get the hype about Jess. It's ok for everyone to have the preferences and everyone is going to disagree. However, I always found that chalking up "bad taste or bad decision making" to general reasons like being young to be highly problematic. I don't like the terms "bad taste or bad decision making" but used them for a lack of a better alternative atm. It's not an automatic right of passage to date or crush on the worst guys. I think that being dismissive about why we feel or behave the way that we do doesn't really give us space to actually grow. A lot of the people dismissing it that way winds up making those same mistakes as they get older and just throwing similar and dismissive reasons on to why later i.e. "Well I was like 20" or "I was going through a rough period", etc
I guess maybe specificity would help in this regard. I think to the extent people dismiss this sort of thing as "youth", it's used as a stand-in for "inexperience", even though the Venn diagram isn't perfect. Youth goes hand in hand with fewer first-hand experiences, fewer opportunities to have witnessed others' relationships, fewer overall life experiences, and a less developed pre-frontal cortex. I guess "youth" is used as a catch-all for these sorts of things as to why it's understandable that someone with these characteristics would be more prone to making xyz decisions, even if not every youth would make such decisions (like yourself).
You're right though, that this lack of specificity can be damaging in many directions. It can be used to dismiss unwise / hurtful behaviors and absolve people of more responsibility than perhaps it "should" (eg. some of what I'd consider Rory's emotional cheating violates the golden rule of "treat others the way you want to be treated", so I think excusing stuff like that on account of "youth" would be a bit problematic). Conversely, it leaves us unable to empathize more with adults who, despite their age, might not have had the opportunities to develop in the ways we'd expect to "naturally" come with age. As someone who came from a culture where I wasn't allowed to date in grade school and was somewhat discouraged from doing so even in college, I didn't have as many opportunities for experiences as others might've by a given age (especially earlier in my life), and depending on what circles one encounters (different colleges probably have different dating cultures for various reasons ranging from size to environment to religiosity), one would have different experiences or even options and tradeoffs.
I'm big on specificity, which drives me insane when others aren't lol.
I’m going to go out here and say I want to see your review of season 4 too but compare and contrast Dean and Jess then.
I need you to break down the end of season 4 & still try to tell me you love Dean.
Jono I completely get where you’re coming from about Jess especially if you’re looking at him while thinking about how you’d feel if your daughter dated him. My mom would’ve hated him. I just don’t understand why you love Dean. From the very beginning they have different goals in life. He wants “Donna Reed” and Rory wants to be Christiane Amanpour. That doesn’t make for a happy future and then there’s the first breakup because she was wasn’t ready to say I love you and he threw her fear of getting pregnant like her Mom in her face. Then there’s the fact that when she asks him for space he doesn’t respect it and either calls a million times or just shows up. She would have to apologize about being busy because of school projects and not being available to hang out. None of these things have anything to do with Jess and are just Dean being angry and controlling. When I watched with my mom who was a single mother she always disliked Dean and pointed out what he did so I could spot it in future boyfriends when I started dating. Calling Jess a bad boyfriend is completely reasonable, but maybe just take off the rose colored glasses where Dean is concerned. Just my opinion.
I forgot how good Jamie was 🥲 Second only to Dave.
Oh Daaaaaave!!!! I love Dave! The secondary couples had great boys.
W series
A Thanos outtake in a Gilmore Girls video? Read the room, Jono. ;-)
I really hope you get to talk about Paris after watching the entire 7 seasons and then how you feel about Paris after AYITL.
But thanks for this! It was great!
The girl and the mom reverse typical rolls, with the teenager giving the mom dating advice.
Thank you so much for your lovely words Johnno that was such a beautiful perspective! About being worthy and lovable I was very moved and, that is definitely something I will always hang onto and remember, thank you so much again!! 🙂😊♡♡
I never fell in deep with Gilmore Girls, like the other xenial girls, but I was huge into Felicity. Maybe because it starts with college and skipped all the high school ish. However, I did like how the redeemed Paris in Gilmore Girls and made her so much more relatable. I don't think that people should be slapping cPTSD and other tables on her character. That dx didn't even exist then. It might have been DSM3 or 4 might have just been released. But these anxieties are not so unusual. It's just over verbalized in this show. All the characters are oververbalizing their overthinking where IRL we would keep some of it to ourself.
I would like to see. After u watched all the episodes. I like to know what a therapist would be able to believe that any of the characters have bipolar, ADHD, autism, ect. With everything u are given.
Oh my word I was Paris. Probably still am. I just sort of ignore the data that someone married me because I still don’t get it.
13 year old me would have LOVED Jess for Rory. 30 year old me knows that she really messed up with Dean 😅 Logan is alright, I guess lol
I agree as you get older the way you see a character can change, but I’m 42 and I honestly don’t think any of them are perfect like people describe. Dean is controlling with anger issues. Jess is a troubled teen who keeps his defenses up so he doesn’t get hurt which pushes everyone away and bf #3 (trying not to spoil) has many great moments, but an equal amount of bad ones for which he always uses grand gestures instead of working through the problem. I honestly wouldn’t date any of them.
Ahhhh, back before Rory became THE W O R S T.
I want to know wtf is going through Paris’s head when she cheats on and dumps Jamie for Professor Fleming
Why can't they admit their feelings? Because then the show will be over.
How much did Zagat pay for this, I stg they mention Zagat like 15 times throughout the series
I know why you dislike Jess; he's an HSP's worst nightmare. He's selfish, lazy and emotionally dysregulated in a very toxic way. He also hates accountability, which is a core value for you. I hated Jess too and I missed Dean deeply.
I have Avoidant Personality Disorder, so...
Some young girls might actually not like bad boys they also might like good boys (not goody goody)
I was thinking about that, too! I was never into "bad boy" types. Even as a teenage girl, I wasn't interested in that at all.
I didn't mind a "goody-goody", though 🤷♀️
@@kelliehorn1082 goody goody are usually boring i want someone funny not like a class clown as many times theyre bullies (mean spirited humor, dangerous going too far pranks, etc). i like humor and laughs though. i dont want someone who's like too perfect and serious. i dont want like a criminal. however jess wasnt really a criminal he pretty much does harmless pranks and who can blame him as the town didnt really welcome him. and after all that build up, once jess and rory were a couple it wasnt as good as before it fell flat.
@@oooh19 Yeah, I agree there's a sweet spot between too mischievous and too holier-than-thou.
In the show, Jess is guilty of committing actual crimes like vandalism and theft, unfortunately. I understand that different girls draw the line in different places, but I draw the line before that 🤔🤷♀️
The mom thinks her boyfriend will be attracted to her teen daughter and see her as datable…
Boy she’s got issues..
comment for the algorithm
I have never seen this show. Like ever but the blonde has deep insecurities. I wish I could talk to her.
Hot take but I think Dean is kind of overrated. He’s portrayed as kind but he can be equally possessive and controlling. He’s not that smart and kind of boring. Jess was a jerk but at least he was an interesting jerk. And he grew up. I wasn’t really into either of them that much