Thank you for this. Autistic Inertia is insurmountable for me. I have just spent the last year with an extreme case of this which ended up collapsing my business and put me in a place of possibly getting evicted from my home. But I am working my way through this so all is looking up right now. I am brand new to learning that I might be Autistic and am still on my journey BUT I can say with an extreme amount of confidence that I definately am Autistic as well as ADHD. for the past few months I have hyperfocused on hyperfocusing. lol. I am in my 50's now so discovering this late in life. But this also means that I have taught myself ways to deal with ALL of "this" without even knowing that I was doing it. I thought it was just how everybody thought, felt and dealt with it. One small thing I try to do with starting tasks is to look for the most difficult part and tackle that first. This gives me that sense of accomplishment and then the next tasks are easier and faster to tackle. This of course isn't 100% and doesn't work everytime, but it's always my starting point. Another one for some reason is to do the dishes. Once I am part way through, I have this renewed energy and motivation to get moving and accomplish at least something. I also have the 'Superstitious' thing you mentioned. I always just thought I was just a little superstitious but am coming to realize that it may be a whole part of this Autism / ADHD / OCD thing. Just little routines and things that I feel I need to do so that the next steps will be 'easy'. Loved this video and have now subbed so looking forward to more. 🤘😁
Thanks for your comment and for some of those tips. Good luck on your own journey, I recognise a lot of what you've mentioned including teaching yourself how to deal with things without even realising you were doing it. I really fell apart a bit realising there was a reason I was having to put all these coping mechanisms in place all these years and how much more I was exhausting myself having to do it than others. But there's been a lot of us in the same boat and realising that somehow makes it easier now to pick back up and get going again when/ if we've had a stumble again (I have very recently). So thank you for sharing all that - cheers.
I just learned that I am probably autistic last year at age 52. It was quite the mind f at first but it wasn't long before so many of the things about myself that I could never understand throughout my entire life started making sense. I used to think, "I cannot begin to understand why I am like this" and could only take some comfort in knowing that God knows. Thank God, I'm beginning to understand why I am like this! Now I am just beginning to realize that I am completely stuck in an autistic inertia cycle that's been going on for over two years. Thank God for my wife. I need to appreciate her more. Anyway - thanks so much for your tips. Also - I'm so glad that you've begun to realize and work through the things that have held you back. I hope you land on your feet through these trying times and, if you are like me, that you finally learn to give yourself some grace and compassion!
I am a very late in discovering I was on the spectrum as well as having ADD. Now I have learned about those autistic things like demand avoidance and inertia, what I do , when I find myself in a behaviour, is tune to a video discussing whatever it is and that seems be helpful in managing and getting on a better track.
I have this bad. There is not enough time or energy to get things done. Unless the adrenalin kicks in. Plus the boring tasks block out creative stuff. Very frustrating.
Obviously this won't work for everyone, but one thing I've been experimenting with is doing 25minutes of something creative first thing after waking up with a coffee (before checking phone, emails, etc). At first it felt insurmountable (I tell myself I can't do anything before my coffee kicks in!) but after a while it becomes habit and actually makes me WANT to get out of bed and then - even if it's only 25minutes - it feels like I've done something productive and creative before the day kicks in properly and beats me up. Easy to fall back out of the habit again but it did work briefly!
This was extremely relatable while I'm actively procrastinating from what I should be doing 😆 but truly, I can't agree more about how important grace and letting go has been to my journey too, and I wish I could've understood myself and avoided shaming myself or listening to others shame me. Also, I definitely relate to feeling like a passenger in my own life, especially when I'm going through a harder time in life (as autism and ADHD are dynamic conditions).
A thing that really struck me recently was someone saying that procrastination is almost always an emotional reaction, not a reaction to the task itself, whether that's shame, guilt, fear, or even fear of success. It's particularly challenging when alexithymia sits alongside autism, because of difficulty recognising and identifying those emotions. I've put off trying to deal with the emotional side of coming to terms with my neurodivergence (instead focusing on understanding it all intellectually) but I'm thinking this may well be the thing for me to focus on to finally help with the procrastination and task avoidance I suffer really badly with.
@@amineurodivergent In my journey I find my newfound understanding of self allows me to look at everything I witness myself doing and going through with much more grace and humility. I find myself laughing a lot these days with no one around in my home just because I am so much more aware of how I think and do things and keep catching myself in a loop or walking into a room and forgetting why I'm there and taking as long as I always have to get out the door on accident, but the difference now with understanding myself through the lens of autism/ADHD and PTSD is that I get why I find myself in loops and such. Now I can laugh at it and validate myself rather than feel so ashamed. Even if I'm stuck and procrastinating I'm often less shameful these days and more accepting and like "well, my body obviously is showing me I needed more rest today since I haven't moved from binging Netflix" or whatever. Of course, I still get anxious and frustrated, but I've made it a personal goal to take my hyper focus and somewhat perfectionism and use it to learn how to be perfectly balanced and content and ebb and flow, which is very tricky. But using my monotropic brain a bit more to focus on how I go about doing this specifically with more grace in mind has been extremely rewarding. I sometimes feel like the guy on Office Space after he has been hypnotized, like I'm just pleasantly indifferent to much of the world, because truly most of the time I am anyway without trying since I'm so focused on stuff. I figured, I might as well also release all the shame and negativity that I can in the process while validating my real experiences having disabilities at the same time. I don't believe people should suffer more for having disabling conditions. We already gotta go through enough not being understood by folks. Perpetuating shame just keeps me more stuck in loops I can't control anyways. Sometimes I'm the only one with grace or understanding about myself existing differently (difficult and fun parts of my neurodivergence) and that's okay too.
Brilliant! This time the algorithm got it right and fed me just what I needed to see. I especially appreciate the views from both autism and ADHD perspectives then merging those views into one person's specific experience. The lists of techniques to get past procrastination or inertia are great, especially the "if it works for you" reminder; I'm sure for each tip we'll find at least one TH-cam video explaining why it doesn't work for people with autism or ADHD. My awfully late diagnosis has meant I have a large collection of maladaptations to overcome and lots of behaviours that I follow without realising where they come from. From this video I was able to identify my perfectionism trap and understand how little it has served me, no matter how often I've told myself "it may be late, but it's damn well excellent." Thanks for the thoroughly excellent video.
Monotropism. Interesting. Today, my energy has been dedicated to not engaging in an unwanted behavior. I hadn't framed my absence of task completion as simply outside my resource pool today. My success is worthy of acknowledgment and gratitude. Today I have succeeded in not engaging in a particular unwanted behavior. Yay me! Thank you for this week's video.
Thanks for another really useful video. As a very recently diagnosed AUDHD myself, I identify a lot with the way you have been processing everything and value both the very exhaustive information you provide as well as the compassion you constantly remind us to have for ourselves and for the world around us. Also, it is kind of reassuring that you are systematically going through all these different aspects, one at the time. No need for me to worry about missing or forgetting something, enough will come up ;)
Thanks - this is exactly what I was hoping the channel would become, so I really appreciate you saying it's kind of getting there. When I first self-diagnosed I found all the information out there completely overwhelming and didn't really know where to start digesting and processing it all, so this channel is my attempt to corral together as much of what I processed over that first year into one place sequentially, and then just leave it out there for people on a similar journey to pick through as a resource if they happen to find it useful. Thanks for your message, it really is stuff like this that helps me keep going with it.
@@amineurodivergent , hmmm, listening to your chapter 29, I want to stress that, even though i thoroughly appreciate you making all these video's, it will not do me (or anybody else) any harm if you take your time making them or even find something else interesting or challenging to do with your life. No pressure intended with my first comment & Much obliged for the work done! Have a good and well deserved break 🙂
@@donatiennebrasseur5025 Thanks - this comment actually takes a lot of the pressure I've put on myself off. I'm going to have a bit of a re-set, stop trying to make this channel so 'educational', and focus more on my own journey when I come back. Thanks for watching and for your comment!
Thank you so much for these videos. I definitely suffer under this immensely. I have spend entire days in a almost obsessively focused State, where I would play guitar or scroll TH-cam for 10+ hours, but I couldn't manage to cook food, or take care of other trivial things. Often I wouldn't even manage to dress myself, and then late in the day I would suddenly snap out of it, usually because of some external stimuli (or thirst/hunger etc) and then I would basically feel like I JUST woke up and my day JUST began, even tho it's already late in the evening. Im pretty sure I'm autistic and have ADHD. I don't want to rant too much, but my plans usually fail because I get distracted, and then spend hours in that distraction without really realizing what I doing, or really being able to stop. This behavior has ruined my life. I am not in a good place right now. I wish I wouldn't struggle this much with the basic things in life. I waste my life, and I disappoint everyone.
I really feel everything you just wrote (apart from the ability to play the guitar, which is awesome). Are you based in the UK? It really sounds like you could benefit from a bit of neurodivergent-aware therapy/ mentoring and I'd be happy to make a couple of suggestions of kind, understanding people I've encountered over this last year or so if that was something you were open to? The frustration and anger with yourself is real and ok and it's good to surface and acknowledge it. Accepting the transition challenges that give you a kicking and either finding a compassionate way through them or giving yourself a pass with them to be kinder to yourself I'm aware sounds like hippy-dippy BS, and it was definitely NOT a place I was personally in towards the start of this journey for me - I even ditched one (really good) ND coach for trying to focus too much on self-kindness and self-esteem when all I wanted was tips on being more productive. Her way, in retrospect, was of course the right one, I just couldn't see it and wanted to get from A to D without bothering with B or C. It's possible to be this way and not hate yourself or feel like you've disappointed everyone. I'm not 100% there myself yet but I can now see a more chilled out idyllic forest clearing at the end of the path through the trees, which is way more than I could say a year ago. Take care of yourself, you're not an innately bad person just for being this way.
@@amineurodivergent Thank you for this answer. I know I need some sort of guidance. The ironical nature of my behavior is just that, when I would be capable of organizing and successfully seeking such an environment, like therapy, I fail to see the necessity, and when I am in need of such help, I am incapable of organizing it. I regularly flip between "I need constant care" and "I am perfectly functional and fine" It gives me hope that someone like you is out there. Even just having you list and talk about these struggles made me emotional. Literally nobody in my environment knows what I'm going through at all. They all think I'm just lazy. Saying "Its ADHD/Autism" sounds like a cheap excuse to them, and I agree, yet it is still true. I will take your advice to heart. I need therapy, I need more guidance and structure around trying to find my way through this pathological behavior. It is impossible for me to not periodically loose my life to procrastination when I'm on my own. Thank you again for what you are doing. Your videos are extremely useful to me. Im Not in the UK, I'm from Germany. There are resources available to me, I just didn't follow through on anything. (I had one diagnostic appointment where I was told within the first 5 minutes that I'm definitely not autistic. Funny enough, because I let it convince me, because I DID feel pretty normal at that very moment. Now that I'm lost, I realize I just couldn't accurately convey from what I was suffering, and that I have a pretty good understanding of eye contact, which might have fooled the "expert")
@@carlpanzram7081 Good luck on your journey and I wish you all the best - you're welcome to email me if you ever want to just vent about how damn difficult this all is!
One resource I use is Asperger Experts. Incredible stories shared by staff members and others. The concept of Defense Mode is one I'm learning about. I also benefit from my practice of DBT. Getting it that my intellect and my central nervous system are simultaneously valid parts of me and not always acting harmoniously is one thing. Navigating it is another. We are complicated. Simply and complexly. Good week!
I'm on a bit of a mid-20s undiagnosed autism journey right now and procrastination/executive-dysfunction has also been at the top of my autism-associated challenges. A mechanism which is kinder than negative self-talk or self-derision which has really worked to break my inertia is making or framing my completion of a task in terms of social outcomes. I am a school teacher and have a butt-load of tasks I need to complete in that roll, but I can make it happen because if I didn't get it together in time I would be letting my students down. This also works for working out -- I do martial arts and the social scheduled routine of working out in co-accountability with my classmates makes me consistent. It's not a silver bullet solution but it's kinder and works mor consistently than framing things in terms of not letting myself down
Something you might want to look up is the Bullet Journal Method by Ryder Carroll, it helped me immensely. He has ADHD and created the system to manage his difficulties. It ties a lot of your tips neatly together. Thank you for these comprehensive informations. You're video sums up most of the difficulties I had in school and university, but I'm only starting to understand them now, years later.
Ah thanks - great tip. I've been looking at bullet journalling today on your recommendation. I think the system I've worked out for me kind of works FOR ME, but I can definitely see the appeal of this method and I'm going to mention this as another possible approach in a future ADHD video - thank you.
Oh my. I'm only a couple minutes in and I'm starting to tear up. I too would put procrastination at the very top of my list of challenges. It has been absolutely debilitating and a constant source of shame and anxiety, as well as judgment from those around me. I am completely stuck. Recently I discovered I have ADHD, but so far that knowledge, the meds, and some CBT hasn't made a dent in the procrastination. I'm worried I will be stuck like this forever.
You won't be, but someone else telling you that won't make things fall into place for you. It's going to be a frustrating slog searching and reading and watching and listening until something finally 'chimes' for you and clicks into place for your particular brain, as well as forgiving yourself and not blaming yourself for not doing all the things you don't currently have the energy for. Whatever your own individual circumstances, you're enough just as you are - but your own brain has to get there to believe that and help dissipate the guilt and shame and anxiety that's built up being undiagnosed all this time and all the negative messaging you've no doubt received. All the very best on that journey to like and love yourself again, it may not feel like it but you will get there with it if you keep searching and horizon-scanning for ways that light up for you.
Just found your channel, and I must say that this is so great. I have been recently diagnosed with ASD at the age of 33 and currently waiting assessment for ADHD but I am sure I am AuDHD. I have busy life whilst studying part time and working part time and on top of it trying to get travels in and gym 3x week. I went from doing everything top notch to eat crap, not study at all, no gym and even finding an excuse to not to go to my counselling session today. My problem is that everything that I try works for few weeks then I lose interests and I don't follow it anymore- I used to write down everything on a schedule within excel, worked to perfection for 2 weeks then starting slowing ditching it and now I don't even remember where I saved that template for the schedule. I know I need to do things and they will be good for me short and long term but really struggle to get going. I will try some of your others suggestions and I will let you know!
Good luck - you may also potentially be in burnout? It's way harder to stick to any schedule in burnout. I've been in a pretty bad one again recently and all my prior systems kind of fell apart a bit..
I've recently been exploring (and by exploring I mean the thought going round and round in my mind) this seed of an idea it's possible that in order to take action or get a task done I unknowingly make myself stressed or anxious to the point I finally take action to relieve that stress or pressure I've placed on myself. That sounds a bit like the point about panic adrenaline. I procrastinate about things but I'm not even talking about things with a deadline, it can even be the most mundane tasks. Another great video, there's a lot to consider.
Thanks - that all sounds very relatable. Yeah, the leave stuff until anxiety kicks in doesn't have to be deadline driven, it can absolutely be mundane tasks as well. I wonder have you looked into co-occurring ADHD.
@@amineurodivergent I have looked in to it as far as I thought about it quite a bit lately and I've made an appointment with a qualified professional, not so much to diagnose me or not, but to begin the conversation. I'm in two minds whether I'm AuDHD or just ASD, a lot of my 'ADHD issues' are the areas of overlap with ASD without the rest, so there's a chance I'm just garden varitey ASD with out the sprinkles 🤣But I won't know unless I ask. Something you said in I think Chapter 26 really spoke to me. It was about you talking with a therapist and you feeling the need to educate them on you, that was exactly my approach when I sought an ASD diagnosis from a Psychologist. "I think I'm ASD and here's all the reasons why". With ADHD I'm going to do the opposite, "I think I might have ADHD comorbidity, please tell if/why that is or isn't the case". The trained professional can coax the information out of me. So thank you for giving me something to relate to and the insight.
Thank you for this. I've been in a terrible place with my depression after trying to switch jobs. Also with RSD with someone, it wasn't even a rejection but sure did feel like it. I really think I have ASD and inattentive adhd. I haven't been working for a month and been hyperfocused on learning about autism because ever since I was a child, I went through IEP. Special education. Also being bullied from elementary all the way to high school for being weird and different. I was always on my own doing my own thing. Just felt like an outcast. My mom was there for me for school conferences about how I learned things differently and how my behavior was too. Also very hyperactive and was a "problem child". Also been through a a class to help me get a job at a workforce place for students with disabilities and a transition center too. So I've been through a lot. I'm tired of feeling this way and overthinking everything, going down a deep spiral into a deeper rabbit hole. Also, after quitting drinking, smoking and doing drugs, I was starting to get sensory issues really bad from my previous job before unexpected changes happened. So, this resonates with me. It's like being stuck in a Chinese finger trap, just can't get out to doing the things I really need to do. Again, thank you for this. I have a interview tomorrow, so wish me luck. Hopefully that helps getting me going again. I forgot to do my laundry. Was supposed to do that the other day, but I said "nope". Oh I didn't mention that I've been having meltdowns almost every day. I was able to regulate myself through some of them, but other ones I could barely move. I fell asleep really quick. I live with my mom and her seeing me like this is not good. Loved this video 🤘🤘. Well done
Well your videos always provide food for thought. I've never thought about the meaning of laziness, that lazy people like doing nothing. Now I'm going to be asking myself if I like doing nothing? I think I like doing nothing for a little while, then I get bored. 😏😄
I'd LOVE to feel lazy, I'd LOVE to feel relaxed enough to enjoy just chilling. But it's like there's a little motor inside saying: there's more to do, get up, tick things off, and then at the same time there's an invisible band around me saying: nope, can't. It's EXHAUSTING. I'm hoping ADHD meds might help with this constant war inside me, I'm finally going through a titration period with them after putting off trying meds for some time. We'll see for me, but what you've described sounds really healthy!
@@amineurodivergent thanks. I score low on the adhd test, high on autism and pda test. I'm 65, I think that might help too. I think stuff that might have bothered me when I was young just doesn't anymore. 😄 I hope the adhd meds work for you. 🙂👍👍
Very good chapter. Got a tip from my girlfriend and have listened to it all through and I recognise myself a lot in what you were saying. Thanks very much! Gonna watch you from now on. cheers.
his life timeline chapters (#30 - #34) are (necessarily) long but really good to start reflecting on your brave-face to the world vs inner struggle; then circle back for strategies - just a suggestion.
Then there's those crazy autistic folk like me who cant get started on stuff... but also cannot for the life of them use a 'hack' to get started either. Founder member here.
Hi Nick - "your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter!" Yeah, I feel you - part of me doing these videos is to turn my intellectual understanding of the approach I think I need to take into an actual real world manifestation of it. It's a fancy version of a self pep talk, really. Results so far have been ... let's go with mixed. But I live in hope!
I have the same Solitaire superstition / strategy / mental hack, but with Minesweeper 😂 It always amaze me how we ND have similar strategies to go on with our lives as best as we can. I'm not sure if I'm AuDHD, but everyday I found new evidence in favor of it. Useful video!
13:10 I’m in tears 😢when you said “it’s not your fault” I’m trying so hard to not being late all the time and making my son late for school. I’m trying so hard and it’s just not happening.
@@NeurodivergentMom There is no shame, just awareness and self compassion, but that's a HARD thing to un-learn after years of telling ourselves that there's nothing here for us but shame. Thanks for your comment.
Excellent explanation thank you . I think this really might be the most important video for me although they have all helped so much . Thank you Struan.
I just have to agree with others here and let you know I also really appreciate these videos, I haven´t seen all of them yet. You seem to have been able to collect and categorize the experience in a way that I would like to, but can´t seem to do (late diagnosed Audhd, 47y) I feel like I would need a body double to get me going writing things down and perhaps I can try and use your videos as some sort of substitute/help for that.
yay so glad that you made this video. i can’t believe i didn’t know about this concept either. it explains so many strange things that i do and i feel like it’s significantly more important than “unmasking”..
@@toaojjc Good luck! Have a look at a long response Billie's Craft Room left on my Chapter 26 video about tips for preparing for assessment - it really is a superb post with lots of tips and links
Well my friend, our top 3 personal struggles are the same...in this neurodivergent world of ours. Just came across your channel & really appreciate your “style” of speaking about researched ASD topics etc. You never know who you’re going to reach and help around the world! Thanks from 🇨🇦! (I’m guessing you’re in the UK?)
Nothing works :'( The only thing that has ever worked was Ritalin but I can't get it prescribed because I don't have and can't get a diagnosis. I did their tests and my attention was too good. The person I got Ritalin from refuses to help me anymore. It was nice for a short while but now I wish I had never experienced feeling normal and capable as it feels like a cruel joke from the universe.
Sorry to hear this, that's really frustrating. EDIT: (also just copy-pasting a response I just made to a different comment in case useful, you never know: "A thing that really struck me recently was someone saying that procrastination is almost always an emotional reaction, not a reaction to the task itself, whether that's shame, guilt, fear, or even fear of success. It's particularly challenging when alexithymia sits alongside autism, because of difficulty recognising and identifying those emotions. I've put off trying to deal with the emotional side of coming to terms with my neurodivergence (instead focusing on understanding it all intellectually) but I'm thinking this may well be the thing for me to focus on to finally help with the procrastination and task avoidance I suffer really badly with.")
Woah! Back it up! I wasn’t talking about your video. I was apologising for the length of my first comment. It was just a massive brain dump trying to process all the stress I’ve been under and this video helped me get to grips with a few things. I’m so sorry I’ve confused you even more. Oh goodness me 😢 I’m horrified! Your videos are amazing and as you’ll see in my first comment, I’m really welcoming the insight (and maybe getting a bit over share-y too - soz for that as well)…
@@McSquiggins204 Ah that makes so much more sense! TH-cam hadn't sent me an alert for your first comment, just your second one. I can see the first one now I'm into the page, YT has been being very weird with comments lately, part of the reason I need a wee time out with it. I wasn't upset with the comment, even when I misinterpreted it, I've been feeling my videos have been getting too long recently and I needed to get more focused - when I thought that's what your comment was, I was just: "Anne's good people, she's just telling me to reign it in a bit too" 🤣 So no offence was taken, particularly now that I know you weren't even referring to the length of my video but your own earlier comment. I've got loads of thoughts on your first comment, which I've seen now and will respond to in a sec. Sorry for the miscommunication - bloody TH-cam!
One of the best videos I’ve seen on this. Well done.
Thank you for this. Autistic Inertia is insurmountable for me. I have just spent the last year with an extreme case of this which ended up collapsing my business and put me in a place of possibly getting evicted from my home. But I am working my way through this so all is looking up right now.
I am brand new to learning that I might be Autistic and am still on my journey BUT I can say with an extreme amount of confidence that I definately am Autistic as well as ADHD. for the past few months I have hyperfocused on hyperfocusing. lol.
I am in my 50's now so discovering this late in life. But this also means that I have taught myself ways to deal with ALL of "this" without even knowing that I was doing it. I thought it was just how everybody thought, felt and dealt with it.
One small thing I try to do with starting tasks is to look for the most difficult part and tackle that first. This gives me that sense of accomplishment and then the next tasks are easier and faster to tackle. This of course isn't 100% and doesn't work everytime, but it's always my starting point.
Another one for some reason is to do the dishes. Once I am part way through, I have this renewed energy and motivation to get moving and accomplish at least something.
I also have the 'Superstitious' thing you mentioned. I always just thought I was just a little superstitious but am coming to realize that it may be a whole part of this Autism / ADHD / OCD thing. Just little routines and things that I feel I need to do so that the next steps will be 'easy'.
Loved this video and have now subbed so looking forward to more. 🤘😁
Thanks for your comment and for some of those tips. Good luck on your own journey, I recognise a lot of what you've mentioned including teaching yourself how to deal with things without even realising you were doing it. I really fell apart a bit realising there was a reason I was having to put all these coping mechanisms in place all these years and how much more I was exhausting myself having to do it than others. But there's been a lot of us in the same boat and realising that somehow makes it easier now to pick back up and get going again when/ if we've had a stumble again (I have very recently). So thank you for sharing all that - cheers.
I just learned that I am probably autistic last year at age 52. It was quite the mind f at first but it wasn't long before so many of the things about myself that I could never understand throughout my entire life started making sense. I used to think, "I cannot begin to understand why I am like this" and could only take some comfort in knowing that God knows. Thank God, I'm beginning to understand why I am like this!
Now I am just beginning to realize that I am completely stuck in an autistic inertia cycle that's been going on for over two years. Thank God for my wife. I need to appreciate her more. Anyway - thanks so much for your tips. Also - I'm so glad that you've begun to realize and work through the things that have held you back. I hope you land on your feet through these trying times and, if you are like me, that you finally learn to give yourself some grace and compassion!
I am a very late in discovering I was on the spectrum as well as having ADD. Now I have learned about those autistic things like demand avoidance and inertia, what I do , when I find myself in a behaviour, is tune to a video discussing whatever it is and that seems be helpful in managing and getting on a better track.
Well this is an A+ from me!
🤣 - thank you!
I have this bad. There is not enough time or energy to get things done. Unless the adrenalin kicks in. Plus the boring tasks block out creative stuff. Very frustrating.
Obviously this won't work for everyone, but one thing I've been experimenting with is doing 25minutes of something creative first thing after waking up with a coffee (before checking phone, emails, etc). At first it felt insurmountable (I tell myself I can't do anything before my coffee kicks in!) but after a while it becomes habit and actually makes me WANT to get out of bed and then - even if it's only 25minutes - it feels like I've done something productive and creative before the day kicks in properly and beats me up. Easy to fall back out of the habit again but it did work briefly!
This was extremely relatable while I'm actively procrastinating from what I should be doing 😆 but truly, I can't agree more about how important grace and letting go has been to my journey too, and I wish I could've understood myself and avoided shaming myself or listening to others shame me. Also, I definitely relate to feeling like a passenger in my own life, especially when I'm going through a harder time in life (as autism and ADHD are dynamic conditions).
A thing that really struck me recently was someone saying that procrastination is almost always an emotional reaction, not a reaction to the task itself, whether that's shame, guilt, fear, or even fear of success. It's particularly challenging when alexithymia sits alongside autism, because of difficulty recognising and identifying those emotions. I've put off trying to deal with the emotional side of coming to terms with my neurodivergence (instead focusing on understanding it all intellectually) but I'm thinking this may well be the thing for me to focus on to finally help with the procrastination and task avoidance I suffer really badly with.
@@amineurodivergent In my journey I find my newfound understanding of self allows me to look at everything I witness myself doing and going through with much more grace and humility. I find myself laughing a lot these days with no one around in my home just because I am so much more aware of how I think and do things and keep catching myself in a loop or walking into a room and forgetting why I'm there and taking as long as I always have to get out the door on accident, but the difference now with understanding myself through the lens of autism/ADHD and PTSD is that I get why I find myself in loops and such. Now I can laugh at it and validate myself rather than feel so ashamed. Even if I'm stuck and procrastinating I'm often less shameful these days and more accepting and like "well, my body obviously is showing me I needed more rest today since I haven't moved from binging Netflix" or whatever. Of course, I still get anxious and frustrated, but I've made it a personal goal to take my hyper focus and somewhat perfectionism and use it to learn how to be perfectly balanced and content and ebb and flow, which is very tricky. But using my monotropic brain a bit more to focus on how I go about doing this specifically with more grace in mind has been extremely rewarding. I sometimes feel like the guy on Office Space after he has been hypnotized, like I'm just pleasantly indifferent to much of the world, because truly most of the time I am anyway without trying since I'm so focused on stuff. I figured, I might as well also release all the shame and negativity that I can in the process while validating my real experiences having disabilities at the same time. I don't believe people should suffer more for having disabling conditions. We already gotta go through enough not being understood by folks. Perpetuating shame just keeps me more stuck in loops I can't control anyways. Sometimes I'm the only one with grace or understanding about myself existing differently (difficult and fun parts of my neurodivergence) and that's okay too.
@@otiscantrell That's a really beautiful perspective on things - thanks for sharing!
this is such a great video compared to the normal “this is 20 signs that you could adhd and autisum etc”
Brilliant! This time the algorithm got it right and fed me just what I needed to see. I especially appreciate the views from both autism and ADHD perspectives then merging those views into one person's specific experience. The lists of techniques to get past procrastination or inertia are great, especially the "if it works for you" reminder; I'm sure for each tip we'll find at least one TH-cam video explaining why it doesn't work for people with autism or ADHD. My awfully late diagnosis has meant I have a large collection of maladaptations to overcome and lots of behaviours that I follow without realising where they come from. From this video I was able to identify my perfectionism trap and understand how little it has served me, no matter how often I've told myself "it may be late, but it's damn well excellent." Thanks for the thoroughly excellent video.
“Tying your mental shoelaces together” is such a great metaphor. Thank you, I’m stealing this.
Well done! You’re way of articulating these things makes me feel so much better about myself. Thank you ❤
Monotropism. Interesting. Today, my energy has been dedicated to not engaging in an unwanted behavior. I hadn't framed my absence of task completion as simply outside my resource pool today. My success is worthy of acknowledgment and gratitude. Today I have succeeded in not engaging in a particular unwanted behavior. Yay me! Thank you for this week's video.
Agreed😊
Thanks for another really useful video. As a very recently diagnosed AUDHD myself, I identify a lot with the way you have been processing everything and value both the very exhaustive information you provide as well as the compassion you constantly remind us to have for ourselves and for the world around us.
Also, it is kind of reassuring that you are systematically going through all these different aspects, one at the time. No need for me to worry about missing or forgetting something, enough will come up ;)
Thanks - this is exactly what I was hoping the channel would become, so I really appreciate you saying it's kind of getting there. When I first self-diagnosed I found all the information out there completely overwhelming and didn't really know where to start digesting and processing it all, so this channel is my attempt to corral together as much of what I processed over that first year into one place sequentially, and then just leave it out there for people on a similar journey to pick through as a resource if they happen to find it useful. Thanks for your message, it really is stuff like this that helps me keep going with it.
@@amineurodivergent I agree with @donatiennebrasseur5025
and I would also suggest you have succeeded with your goal and approach.
@@amineurodivergent , hmmm, listening to your chapter 29, I want to stress that, even though i thoroughly appreciate you making all these video's, it will not do me (or anybody else) any harm if you take your time making them or even find something else interesting or challenging to do with your life. No pressure intended with my first comment & Much obliged for the work done! Have a good and well deserved break 🙂
@@donatiennebrasseur5025 Thanks - this comment actually takes a lot of the pressure I've put on myself off. I'm going to have a bit of a re-set, stop trying to make this channel so 'educational', and focus more on my own journey when I come back. Thanks for watching and for your comment!
Thank you so much for these videos.
I definitely suffer under this immensely. I have spend entire days in a almost obsessively focused State, where I would play guitar or scroll TH-cam for 10+ hours, but I couldn't manage to cook food, or take care of other trivial things.
Often I wouldn't even manage to dress myself, and then late in the day I would suddenly snap out of it, usually because of some external stimuli (or thirst/hunger etc) and then I would basically feel like I JUST woke up and my day JUST began, even tho it's already late in the evening.
Im pretty sure I'm autistic and have ADHD.
I don't want to rant too much, but my plans usually fail because I get distracted, and then spend hours in that distraction without really realizing what I doing, or really being able to stop.
This behavior has ruined my life. I am not in a good place right now. I wish I wouldn't struggle this much with the basic things in life. I waste my life, and I disappoint everyone.
I really feel everything you just wrote (apart from the ability to play the guitar, which is awesome). Are you based in the UK? It really sounds like you could benefit from a bit of neurodivergent-aware therapy/ mentoring and I'd be happy to make a couple of suggestions of kind, understanding people I've encountered over this last year or so if that was something you were open to?
The frustration and anger with yourself is real and ok and it's good to surface and acknowledge it. Accepting the transition challenges that give you a kicking and either finding a compassionate way through them or giving yourself a pass with them to be kinder to yourself I'm aware sounds like hippy-dippy BS, and it was definitely NOT a place I was personally in towards the start of this journey for me - I even ditched one (really good) ND coach for trying to focus too much on self-kindness and self-esteem when all I wanted was tips on being more productive. Her way, in retrospect, was of course the right one, I just couldn't see it and wanted to get from A to D without bothering with B or C.
It's possible to be this way and not hate yourself or feel like you've disappointed everyone. I'm not 100% there myself yet but I can now see a more chilled out idyllic forest clearing at the end of the path through the trees, which is way more than I could say a year ago. Take care of yourself, you're not an innately bad person just for being this way.
@@amineurodivergent Thank you for this answer.
I know I need some sort of guidance.
The ironical nature of my behavior is just that, when I would be capable of organizing and successfully seeking such an environment, like therapy, I fail to see the necessity, and when I am in need of such help, I am incapable of organizing it. I regularly flip between "I need constant care" and "I am perfectly functional and fine"
It gives me hope that someone like you is out there. Even just having you list and talk about these struggles made me emotional. Literally nobody in my environment knows what I'm going through at all.
They all think I'm just lazy.
Saying "Its ADHD/Autism" sounds like a cheap excuse to them, and I agree, yet it is still true.
I will take your advice to heart. I need therapy, I need more guidance and structure around trying to find my way through this pathological behavior.
It is impossible for me to not periodically loose my life to procrastination when I'm on my own.
Thank you again for what you are doing.
Your videos are extremely useful to me.
Im Not in the UK, I'm from Germany. There are resources available to me, I just didn't follow through on anything. (I had one diagnostic appointment where I was told within the first 5 minutes that I'm definitely not autistic. Funny enough, because I let it convince me, because I DID feel pretty normal at that very moment. Now that I'm lost, I realize I just couldn't accurately convey from what I was suffering, and that I have a pretty good understanding of eye contact, which might have fooled the "expert")
@@carlpanzram7081 Good luck on your journey and I wish you all the best - you're welcome to email me if you ever want to just vent about how damn difficult this all is!
One resource I use is Asperger Experts. Incredible stories shared by staff members and others. The concept of Defense Mode is one I'm learning about. I also benefit from my practice of DBT. Getting it that my intellect and my central nervous system are simultaneously valid parts of me and not always acting harmoniously is one thing. Navigating it is another. We are complicated. Simply and complexly. Good week!
I'm on a bit of a mid-20s undiagnosed autism journey right now and procrastination/executive-dysfunction has also been at the top of my autism-associated challenges. A mechanism which is kinder than negative self-talk or self-derision which has really worked to break my inertia is making or framing my completion of a task in terms of social outcomes. I am a school teacher and have a butt-load of tasks I need to complete in that roll, but I can make it happen because if I didn't get it together in time I would be letting my students down. This also works for working out -- I do martial arts and the social scheduled routine of working out in co-accountability with my classmates makes me consistent. It's not a silver bullet solution but it's kinder and works mor consistently than framing things in terms of not letting myself down
Something you might want to look up is the Bullet Journal Method by Ryder Carroll, it helped me immensely. He has ADHD and created the system to manage his difficulties. It ties a lot of your tips neatly together.
Thank you for these comprehensive informations. You're video sums up most of the difficulties I had in school and university, but I'm only starting to understand them now, years later.
Ah thanks - great tip. I've been looking at bullet journalling today on your recommendation. I think the system I've worked out for me kind of works FOR ME, but I can definitely see the appeal of this method and I'm going to mention this as another possible approach in a future ADHD video - thank you.
Oh my. I'm only a couple minutes in and I'm starting to tear up. I too would put procrastination at the very top of my list of challenges. It has been absolutely debilitating and a constant source of shame and anxiety, as well as judgment from those around me. I am completely stuck. Recently I discovered I have ADHD, but so far that knowledge, the meds, and some CBT hasn't made a dent in the procrastination. I'm worried I will be stuck like this forever.
You won't be, but someone else telling you that won't make things fall into place for you. It's going to be a frustrating slog searching and reading and watching and listening until something finally 'chimes' for you and clicks into place for your particular brain, as well as forgiving yourself and not blaming yourself for not doing all the things you don't currently have the energy for. Whatever your own individual circumstances, you're enough just as you are - but your own brain has to get there to believe that and help dissipate the guilt and shame and anxiety that's built up being undiagnosed all this time and all the negative messaging you've no doubt received. All the very best on that journey to like and love yourself again, it may not feel like it but you will get there with it if you keep searching and horizon-scanning for ways that light up for you.
Just found your channel, and I must say that this is so great. I have been recently diagnosed with ASD at the age of 33 and currently waiting assessment for ADHD but I am sure I am AuDHD. I have busy life whilst studying part time and working part time and on top of it trying to get travels in and gym 3x week. I went from doing everything top notch to eat crap, not study at all, no gym and even finding an excuse to not to go to my counselling session today. My problem is that everything that I try works for few weeks then I lose interests and I don't follow it anymore- I used to write down everything on a schedule within excel, worked to perfection for 2 weeks then starting slowing ditching it and now I don't even remember where I saved that template for the schedule. I know I need to do things and they will be good for me short and long term but really struggle to get going. I will try some of your others suggestions and I will let you know!
Good luck - you may also potentially be in burnout? It's way harder to stick to any schedule in burnout. I've been in a pretty bad one again recently and all my prior systems kind of fell apart a bit..
I've recently been exploring (and by exploring I mean the thought going round and round in my mind) this seed of an idea it's possible that in order to take action or get a task done I unknowingly make myself stressed or anxious to the point I finally take action to relieve that stress or pressure I've placed on myself.
That sounds a bit like the point about panic adrenaline. I procrastinate about things but I'm not even talking about things with a deadline, it can even be the most mundane tasks.
Another great video, there's a lot to consider.
Thanks - that all sounds very relatable. Yeah, the leave stuff until anxiety kicks in doesn't have to be deadline driven, it can absolutely be mundane tasks as well. I wonder have you looked into co-occurring ADHD.
@@amineurodivergent I have looked in to it as far as I thought about it quite a bit lately and I've made an appointment with a qualified professional, not so much to diagnose me or not, but to begin the conversation. I'm in two minds whether I'm AuDHD or just ASD, a lot of my 'ADHD issues' are the areas of overlap with ASD without the rest, so there's a chance I'm just garden varitey ASD with out the sprinkles 🤣But I won't know unless I ask.
Something you said in I think Chapter 26 really spoke to me. It was about you talking with a therapist and you feeling the need to educate them on you, that was exactly my approach when I sought an ASD diagnosis from a Psychologist. "I think I'm ASD and here's all the reasons why". With ADHD I'm going to do the opposite, "I think I might have ADHD comorbidity, please tell if/why that is or isn't the case". The trained professional can coax the information out of me.
So thank you for giving me something to relate to and the insight.
Thank you for this. I've been in a terrible place with my depression after trying to switch jobs. Also with RSD with someone, it wasn't even a rejection but sure did feel like it. I really think I have ASD and inattentive adhd. I haven't been working for a month and been hyperfocused on learning about autism because ever since I was a child, I went through IEP. Special education. Also being bullied from elementary all the way to high school for being weird and different. I was always on my own doing my own thing. Just felt like an outcast. My mom was there for me for school conferences about how I learned things differently and how my behavior was too. Also very hyperactive and was a "problem child". Also been through a a class to help me get a job at a workforce place for students with disabilities and a transition center too. So I've been through a lot. I'm tired of feeling this way and overthinking everything, going down a deep spiral into a deeper rabbit hole. Also, after quitting drinking, smoking and doing drugs, I was starting to get sensory issues really bad from my previous job before unexpected changes happened. So, this resonates with me. It's like being stuck in a Chinese finger trap, just can't get out to doing the things I really need to do. Again, thank you for this. I have a interview tomorrow, so wish me luck. Hopefully that helps getting me going again. I forgot to do my laundry. Was supposed to do that the other day, but I said "nope". Oh I didn't mention that I've been having meltdowns almost every day. I was able to regulate myself through some of them, but other ones I could barely move. I fell asleep really quick. I live with my mom and her seeing me like this is not good.
Loved this video 🤘🤘. Well done
Thanks for sharing all that - hope you can find a way through and get into a regulated, relaxed place. It's really hard.
Well your videos always provide food for thought. I've never thought about the meaning of laziness, that lazy people like doing nothing. Now I'm going to be asking myself if I like doing nothing?
I think I like doing nothing for a little while, then I get bored. 😏😄
I'd LOVE to feel lazy, I'd LOVE to feel relaxed enough to enjoy just chilling. But it's like there's a little motor inside saying: there's more to do, get up, tick things off, and then at the same time there's an invisible band around me saying: nope, can't. It's EXHAUSTING.
I'm hoping ADHD meds might help with this constant war inside me, I'm finally going through a titration period with them after putting off trying meds for some time. We'll see for me, but what you've described sounds really healthy!
@@amineurodivergent thanks. I score low on the adhd test, high on autism and pda test. I'm 65, I think that might help too. I think stuff that might have bothered me when I was young just doesn't anymore. 😄
I hope the adhd meds work for you. 🙂👍👍
Very real😊
Very good chapter. Got a tip from my girlfriend and have listened to it all through and I recognise myself a lot in what you were saying. Thanks very much! Gonna watch you from now on. cheers.
his life timeline chapters (#30 - #34) are (necessarily) long but really good to start reflecting on your brave-face to the world vs inner struggle; then circle back for strategies - just a suggestion.
Then there's those crazy autistic folk like me who cant get started on stuff... but also cannot for the life of them use a 'hack' to get started either. Founder member here.
Hi Nick - "your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter!" Yeah, I feel you - part of me doing these videos is to turn my intellectual understanding of the approach I think I need to take into an actual real world manifestation of it. It's a fancy version of a self pep talk, really. Results so far have been ... let's go with mixed. But I live in hope!
This a really good video, quite validating.
I have the same Solitaire superstition / strategy / mental hack, but with Minesweeper 😂 It always amaze me how we ND have similar strategies to go on with our lives as best as we can. I'm not sure if I'm AuDHD, but everyday I found new evidence in favor of it. Useful video!
Thanks - yeah those strategies/ superstitions seem to be quite common I'm finding!
Hey another well explained video I didn’t know about autistic inertia what you mentioned thank you ❤
You and your videos are amazing. I always look forward to watching your videos :)
Thanks for taking the time to post such a lovely comment!
I cantexpress
what you just expressed beautifully -
13:10 I’m in tears 😢when you said “it’s not your fault” I’m trying so hard to not being late all the time and making my son late for school. I’m trying so hard and it’s just not happening.
I mean 13:07 when you said “there’s no shame in finding it harder to get things done”
@@NeurodivergentMom There is no shame, just awareness and self compassion, but that's a HARD thing to un-learn after years of telling ourselves that there's nothing here for us but shame. Thanks for your comment.
@@amineurodivergent thanks for replying ♥️ keep posting. These videos are so helpful.
Excellent explanation thank you . I think this really might be the most important video for me although they have all helped so much . Thank you Struan.
HI Jan - thanks so much for commenting hope you're doing well.
Thank you
1:35 passenger in your own life… I can relate to this. I have this tendency as well.
I just have to agree with others here and let you know I also really appreciate these videos, I haven´t seen all of them yet. You seem to have been able to collect and categorize the experience in a way that I would like to, but can´t seem to do (late diagnosed Audhd, 47y) I feel like I would need a body double to get me going writing things down and perhaps I can try and use your videos as some sort of substitute/help for that.
Thank you - would be honoured if my ramblings can help someone work through their own stuff in this way! This post really made my day.
yay so glad that you made this video. i can’t believe i didn’t know about this concept either. it explains so many strange things that i do and i feel like it’s significantly more important than “unmasking”..
Are we stuck in a rut? Should ASD's be focusing on higher things? Its only when I focus on them that I am enthused.
Another great video. I was looking for it late last night, but here it is as I have my little insomnia hour in the middle of the night.
Yeah, I missed my own Sunday deadline this week. Which is pretty apt for procrastination week, luckily!
@@amineurodivergent it strangly fits somehow. Can't wait for next weeks. Thank you for sharing.
Here still waiting on assessment.
@@toaojjc Good luck! Have a look at a long response Billie's Craft Room left on my Chapter 26 video about tips for preparing for assessment - it really is a superb post with lots of tips and links
@@amineurodivergent thank you for the tip!
Thank you so much for this video
Well my friend, our top 3 personal struggles are the same...in this neurodivergent world of ours. Just came across your channel & really appreciate your “style” of speaking about researched ASD topics etc. You never know who you’re going to reach and help around the world! Thanks from 🇨🇦!
(I’m guessing you’re in the UK?)
Chronic procrastination has been rotting me from the inside for years now, i need to figure out a way to deal with it asap 😭
I wish i could like a video multiple times. This really resonated for me. Thank you!
Neurosprinkles 🤣
Nothing works :'( The only thing that has ever worked was Ritalin but I can't get it prescribed because I don't have and can't get a diagnosis. I did their tests and my attention was too good. The person I got Ritalin from refuses to help me anymore. It was nice for a short while but now I wish I had never experienced feeling normal and capable as it feels like a cruel joke from the universe.
Sorry to hear this, that's really frustrating. EDIT: (also just copy-pasting a response I just made to a different comment in case useful, you never know: "A thing that really struck me recently was someone saying that procrastination is almost always an emotional reaction, not a reaction to the task itself, whether that's shame, guilt, fear, or even fear of success. It's particularly challenging when alexithymia sits alongside autism, because of difficulty recognising and identifying those emotions. I've put off trying to deal with the emotional side of coming to terms with my neurodivergence (instead focusing on understanding it all intellectually) but I'm thinking this may well be the thing for me to focus on to finally help with the procrastination and task avoidance I suffer really badly with.")
Gah! That was looooooong! Soz!
No worries, thanks for the honest feedback. You're definitely not going to like my next one then 🤣 - luckily I'm about to go on a wee hiatus
Woah! Back it up! I wasn’t talking about your video. I was apologising for the length of my first comment. It was just a massive brain dump trying to process all the stress I’ve been under and this video helped me get to grips with a few things. I’m so sorry I’ve confused you even more. Oh goodness me 😢 I’m horrified! Your videos are amazing and as you’ll see in my first comment, I’m really welcoming the insight (and maybe getting a bit over share-y too - soz for that as well)…
@@McSquiggins204 Ah that makes so much more sense! TH-cam hadn't sent me an alert for your first comment, just your second one. I can see the first one now I'm into the page, YT has been being very weird with comments lately, part of the reason I need a wee time out with it.
I wasn't upset with the comment, even when I misinterpreted it, I've been feeling my videos have been getting too long recently and I needed to get more focused - when I thought that's what your comment was, I was just: "Anne's good people, she's just telling me to reign it in a bit too" 🤣 So no offence was taken, particularly now that I know you weren't even referring to the length of my video but your own earlier comment. I've got loads of thoughts on your first comment, which I've seen now and will respond to in a sec. Sorry for the miscommunication - bloody TH-cam!