Radical Honesty - What If We All Told The Truth?
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 17 ก.ย. 2019
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Video essay on the ubiquity of lying, both in the stories we tell as well as in real life, and why perhaps we should try being a little more honest.
Sources:
Brad Blanton - Radical Honesty: How to Transform Your Life By Telling the Truth: amzn.to/308QwKL
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Most of the books I consume are actually audiobooks. Love to listen to them while walking through the woods, or - if the Dutch weather permits it - sitting outside in the sun. If you have any good recommendations, let me know!
Like Stories of Old the madness of crowds- must read
Richard Dawkins “The selfish Gene”
Like Stories of Old ...who are you????... please unmask yourself too! Your videos and your take on all matters life and death and everything in between have been such a wondrous joy and revelation to me... I have cried, laughed out loud and just generally been moved and enlightened by you. Love love love what you are doing.!!! .. as a psychotherapist myself I have been recommending your videos to my clients xx Thank you x
The Netherlands! If I am being radically honest, I've always enjoyed your accent, but I've never been able to place it. Truly insightful analysis, as always.
The Three Body Problem, The Dark Forest, Death's End & (most recent) The Redemption of Time. All from Liu Cixin translated to English. It's the Remembrance Of Earth's Past series. Epic series, great audio books.
“Every lie we tell incurs a debt to the truth. Sooner or later, that debt is paid.”
Not if I die first
@@BadladTheBad That only applies if you were the only person of earth knowing that lie and if nothing in this world could conduce the people being alive to that same lie. These two scenarios combined are nearly impossible to obtain, therefore the debt is paid no matter what
Yes and the liar's vocation is to make sure it's the people telling the truth who suffer their debt.
Nobody tells the truth. The debt always goes unpaid. The previous sentence is also a lie. And we will tell it forever, and believe it.
The debt doesn't have to be an eventual truth. Holding onto a lie leads to some level of stress. That stress could be the repayment to the truth.
LSOO is that friend that you haven't seen in a while, but when you meet up again, they make you feel like you've never left.
yes and that video is what I needed right now, yesterday I went out with friends to catch up but I didn't really shared my wories, my problems , my dreams that much, I think neither did they and when that happens I feel like time is wasted , well hopefully I tell them and next time it works out. Also I do have a friend who's just like that, guess I should call her and tell her I'm angry about things and excited and scared and a mess I guess.
Yes exactly, imagine the amazing conversations while sipping hot tea... aww 😍😁
I went to subscribe only to realize I already had long ago.
human connection is about understanding one another. and we all are humans so we all have the tool to understand one another. it’s all based on causality.
See Teal Swan baby
When I was a child, my mother gave me some very good advice. "Son, you should never lie, but you don't have to tell every thing you know".
Wish my mum told me that :)
Don’t you think that, at some point, withholding relevant info becomes the same as lying (willingly placing someone in deception)?
@@superemzone NO. if they don't ask you a specific question you don't owe them an answer.
@@davidhofferbert809 If understanding truth is determined by understanding the context or situation as a whole, giving only bits of information can be equal to lying. Especially so, if the information left out would make the context different. Let's picture an example: You cheat on your spouse on a holiday trip. You are then asked by your spouse that how it went, and did that you enjoy. Proceeding to tell all kinds of details, but deliberately not telling them that you cheated on them, it technically isn't "lying" when it is defined as "not telling the truth". However your spouse would think that you didn't cheat on them (or, more realistically, not think that you cheated on them), and their version of the truth wouldn't match with the real truth. They have been misled to think all is okay in your relationship, and that in itself is not truthful. Therefore you have misled them into having a non-truthful picture of the status quo. Now that would be "lying" when defining it as "giving the other a false belief of the context".
The first definition of lying is pretty straightforward, as it focuses on the actual words being spoken. The second definition focuses more on intent. Since lying and telling the truth are very often linked to moral questions, I think it is important to realize the difference between those two definitions.
@@DehJarlorNoob I'm gonna give you situation. Your dear friend and you, are out drinking the whole night. You smash something while doin it. Next day at work you look bad and you boss ask you. What you did yesterday. Are you gonna tell hin that you drunk so much that you broke something on street? Probably not. You will say to him that you went out with a friend. You are telling the truth, you are just not giving the details of the whole truth.
Actually giving other people the whole truth my be a too much and is considered oversharing.
The video is right that a lie is a wall that prevents intimacy, but not just intimacy with people, but intimacy with reality itself. A lie is much more palatable because it is ultimately created by ourselves and for ourselves, mainly to defend against any deeper anxiety.
One of these anxieties is our desperate need to believe that we are not 'bad' people. We have been conditioned to believe that 'bad' people are underserving of love so we strive to be 'good' or 'virtuous'. Therefore it is both personal and social suicide to admit that we're angry, jealous, biased, ignorant, or that we're not special (indeed, we're very mediocre). These are all lies of course and they are very debilitating in the long run.
People who lie all the time take themselves too seriously. A person is most honest when they feel they have nothing left to lose. It makes sense, therefore, that if you want to live an honest life, you ought to live like you have nothing to lose. However, in reality, we always have something we wish to keep or protect thus radical honesty is incredibly hard, maybe impossible to achieve.
The closest to radical honesty I believe we can get to, is not to live like we have nothing to lose. Instead, we should live knowing we might lose everything someday, but we can also rebuild or regain everything as long as we're willing to fight for it. That is the most authentic and honest way I know how to live.
Also it is impossible to be "radically honest" in that 100% all the time honesty is literally impossible.
There things we omit for good reason like when dealing with say children or trying to spare someone's feelings on some (not major) issue. You can and probably should shade things or just omit things.
As a taoist i only strive for balance in my relationships that demands what it demands, if its honesty then great but balance can take many forms.
I do believe that humans should strive to be honest with themselves and with others but that takes effort and ton of work. I tend to lies of omission personally rather than deceptions, nothing nice to say sort of thing :P also think pushing 100% honesty all the time is a unrealistic goal that people should probably not be shooting for :P.
@@scottmiller4295 you are right in many respects but i think when you are focusing on others' feelings, it also becomes a pretext to avoid being brutally honest. This could not only be because, in fact, that honesty would hurt your own self image because others would be disappointed in you, but also because you have assigned yourself a Role - the role of appearing to be and acting like someone that others expect you to be. All I am suggesting, respectfully so, is that the Role might still be in charge and not You. Let me know how you feel (because this is not a comment ON you. This concerns all of us and our emotional well-being). Thanks.
@@rdc515 well we all take on roles in life nm what aspect we are enacting.
do you shade your behavior to people your are intimate with vs people you are unconnected to? of course.
As to how selfless vs selfish i am that is something ideally i balance in my self or lest try to.
Am i protecting myself when i do that? hmm in some cases certainly.
i mean most people to strive to be zen, do so in some degree by being somewhat remote from others, study, self reflection, meditation, full on monk hood. The more we interact with the world and with others the complexity of "balance" scales up the more interactions we have.
Like i said it takes work to be fully balanced you have to know you to a very high degree and that can take years, but if you get there yes your knowledge of yourself translates to empathy to others.
But is your implication that i am empathetic to flog my own ego on some level? well hopefully not.
But i think when your "balanced" your also not going out of your way to self sacrifice either really. if someone needs help and i am there i will lend it but i not running off to save puppies or children or looking to be a hero.
"good" deeds are not always good, and "bad" deeds are not always bad. "good" emotions can lead to very bad outcomes when run amok. that is partially why we seek to regulate our emotions to varying degrees to live in a society and co exist with one another.
often we just roll the dice and do as best we can. as humans and not infallible beings that is as best as we can do.
the one thing we should strive for nm how well or bad we doing at that is to learn to and try to grow.
Not sure i unpacked your question fully though. Do feel free to dig away and ask more though this was challenging at 4 am.
This is actually a pretty great encapsulation of some of the core concepts of Buddhist philosophy. A "lie" could be interpreted as moha, or delusion, synonymous in this context with a fundamental ignorance of the nature of reality. It very much does deny us that "intimacy with reality itself", and while I'm not familiar with any particular takes on why we suffer from it, I personally think it's in service of protecting ourselves from the unpleasant aspects of our experience.
But the primary delusion we suffer from is that of the self as a concrete object. Anatta, or not-self, is a tad complicated, but the premise is that what we usually think of as our "self" is little more than an abstract concept. The idea that we must be a "good" person, or mustn't be a "bad" person, rings false, as such things do not exist outside of the personal and social definitions we give to them. We may strive to live up to such ideals, but there is no objective measure by which we can succeed or fail.
However, the key aspect of this delusion is that there is nothing permanent about the self. Anicca, or impermanence, expands this to include everything: all things are in constant flux, and cannot remain the same forever. This suggests not only that we *might* lose everything someday, but that we *will* lose everything eventually. In fact, we're constantly losing things, from the feelings inspired by an LSOO video, to the thoughts evoked by these very words.
But we nonetheless tend to cling to that which brings us comfort. We're often guided poorly in our pursuit of such things, and in the process fail to appreciate them as they are, while experiencing nothing but misery when they're lost. Living honestly is to instead make peace with their transient nature, and to take in the world exactly as it is.
Christianity teaches that nobody is good, even though we strive towards goodness, we all fall short. I think that its okay to be TACTFUL, which is not Lying...I wouldn't tell someone how big their nose is just for the sake of honesty. Being Radical honest in my opinion is not that hard at all... we all have good and bad thoughts, our mind is a chaotic soup at times, its how we choose to use our thoughts or how tactful we are with our thoughts, which might, to some, seem manipulative, to others its wisdom. our ability to be vulnerable within a group that we feel safe enough to express our emotions and thoughts is a place where we feel like we can be our real selves.
Lying is really exhausting, you have to remember stuff you told everyone.. I started with the art of not giving a f# ck few years ago and I just started practicing more honesty and it really does transform you A LOT.
If you don't want to be honest with others then at least be so kind and be honest with yourself... life changing. 👍
But then if we were honest with ourselves, we'd have no reason to be dishonest with others. You cant have one without the other.
@@haidengeary8277 oh shuuush you giving away the secret of this hack hahha 😁 that's the point, but for some people it is easier to start with just one 😊
So true. I started being more honest because lying is a pain in the ass.
I live by this and I am a known asshole, hahaha. Honesty hurts those living the lie. But in reality the one being honest cares more.
How does it transform you?
For all those wanting to know the name of the movie with the kids and the dad, it's called "Captain Fantastic"
That movie was absolutely fantastic, go watch it people
An absolute masterpiece, thank you for mentioning it! Can't wait to see a video essay on it in this channel
Great movie
@@ShubinFarms 07:00 lies as the cornerstone of reality
Thanks! I did want to know the name
I have such an open and honest relationship with my boyfriend that it makes him worried for me when I'm around my mother, like I become a different person. It's all because she doesn't know me at all, I feel like, so I put on that liar's mask of "Who Mom Thinks I Am" and it's exhausting, and when I try to be vulnerable and true around her, it often leads to confusion on her end about that "not being like [myself]" and I just want it to end. I think this popped up at the right moment in my life. Thank you.
Your videos always seem to come at the exact right moment. And I can't express how important they are, I'm sure for many of us. Thank you for creating such good arguments in such a beautiful way. You are a truly unique creator.
yeah, today is a good day for me to hear this in light of the motif of family dysfunction. very timely.
Agreed
yep
Lies
Couldn't agree more. I might just be at the start of a new relationship, one that I really want to work hard for, given it happens. This video hit me at a crucial point.
Don't mind me over here tearing up realizing how much anger I've felt over the past 14 years at my dads death and how much its affected my relationships with others and myself.
Hope you will find a way to heal yourself and be at peace!
I cried at that part too.
I love you man, I really do. I have been working on a lot of Jungian Theory in my own life for years now. I feel that I have mastered many of these steps to the extent that a person can in this life. As of late I have currently been working on accepting my Shadow and I feel that I have made amazing progress.
But when you got to the part about accepting being angry at people for dying I sobbed... and after the video I sobbed into my wife’s arms some more. My adopted mom, the only true person that ever loved me unconditionally (besides maybe my wife) was killed in a head on semi-truck accident a few years ago. And I just realized how f**king angry I am at her for dying. I’m so much more alone in this world. She was the last family that I had on this Earth. And now I realize that it’s okay to be so angry about it; and now I can move on from accepting my shadow and start working on that.
I know this is a never ending journey and there is no true mastery, but I work on myself so damn hard. Thank you for freeing me from the anger over my mother’s death.
Again, I love you man. Thank you for what you bring to this world.
-Your loyal Patreon supporter
That was beautiful to read and I can truly identify with it well. Also, you have inspired me to finally get into Jungian Theory. I've heard too much about it and gained too much curiosity at this point to ignore it.
Keep working on yourself, it's the best journey there is.
Sending love from a stranger! You're amazingly strong
I can relate to this so much. Was just going to write a comment, but then saw yours...
I also bursted in tears when he mentioned that. I didn't even realize, it's been 8 years since my mother died because of breast cancer. And her unconditional love for me was something out of this world, never once experienced it ever since that happened. I took my pillow and cried in it for a lot of time, finally realizing, I was angry at her for leaving a 18 year old, who just managed to get into college. As I thought about this for a bit, I realized, how much this affected my other relationships with women, and also with myself and people generally. My anger grew slowly over time and there was some deep maybe even resentment or self-hate in my heart, but never truly realized until this point.
So after releasing all those emotions and crying my guts out, I can say, I don't remember feeling this much at peace.
Seeing you also mention the Jungian Theory, would you recommend it to look up on that to further understand this process? Thank you
@FirstName Last Even missing someone is fundamentally selfish, what is your point? Even our selfish emotions need to be processed otherwise they just fester, what does them feeling this way because of losing their last family in this world have to do with having her do things for them or make them feel important?
This video helped me deal with my mother’s passing. I lost her 5 years ago and this video made me realize that a part of me was mad that she died and left me alone. This video helped me realize things I haven’t been honest about.
Please do a video analysis on Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind! I have been waiting over a year for you to do it.
I too would really enjoy this.
@Ray Tangerine!
Yes please do this film next
I'm in my head already, aren't I?
Oh, I totally agree, that would be great!
Radical honesty is basically an endless source of perpetual character development
I use to practice it when I was younger for religious reasons. It eventually resulted in great and permanent harm to me and I am lucky it didn't kill me. I eventually decided that not everyone deserves the truth. That being said, I do think it (telling the truth) taught me courage and made me mentally stronger.
Seriously needed this video right now. Thank you ♥️
Feel the same. We are not alone.
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As soon as I get myself out of this hell I am in, financially etc, I plan to contribute via Patreon. LSoO is at 83% of his goal, to making this full time.
I also purchased "Radical Honesty", it is very good.
Thank you once again for sharing your mind with us, LSOO. It is incredible, the emotions that came out listening to this, as it is with all your works.
"It doesn't make sense to hate someone for dying, they didn't do it on purpose" except when they do, and it hurts even more, and you have no way of expressing your anger at them for it.
purpose is defined by its goal. dying has no goal but only an effect. in fact the complete absence of it makes suicide appealing as all who kill themselves want to end something and not start something. therefore it is illogical to argue that a person who committed suicide, chose to die.
@@darthgandalf9485 I don't understand.
@@nimmuraj The reason people commit suicide is not because they want to die, that doesn't make sense, no one wants to die. All humans are instinctively hard-wired to not want to die.
People commit suicide because they're convinced there's no other way to be relieved of their pain. Death is a way of getting rid of that pain, but is not itself a goal. It's a tool, a means to an end.
I think Darth and Schizo are bending the definition of "goal". An effect can absolutely be one's goal. The same goes for getting rid of something. However well-meaning, You're contorting language so as to remove autonomy from people's actions. I assume You do this because You see people who attempt suicide as dealing with immense pain, and therefore You don't fault them for the choice they make. However, I believe You're arguing from the wrong side of the equation. They made their choice, insofar as any of us make choices.
I think G. K. Chesterton said it well-
"Not only is suicide a sin, it is the sin. It is the ultimate and absolute evil, the refusal to take an interest in existence; the refusal to take the oath of loyalty to life. The man who kills a man, kills a man. The man who kills himself, kills all men; as far as he is concerned he wipes out the world. His act is worse [symbolically considered] than any rape or dynamite outrage. For it destroys all buildings: it insults all women. The thief is satisfied with diamonds; but the suicide is not: that is his crime. He cannot be bribed, even by the blazing stones of the Celestial City. The thief compliments the things he steals, if not the owner of them. But the suicide insults everything on earth by not stealing it. He defiles every flower by refusing to live for its sake. There is not a tiny creature in the cosmos at whom his death is not a sneer. When a man hangs himself on a tree, the leaves might fall off in anger and the birds fly away in fury: for each has received a personal affront. Of course there may be pathetic emotional excuses for the act. There often are for rape, and there almost always are for dynamite. But if it comes to clear ideas and the intelligent meaning of things, then there is much more rational and philosophic truth in the burial at the cross-roads and the stake driven through the body, than in Mr. Archer’s suicidal automatic machines. There is a meaning in burying the suicide apart. The man’s crime is different from other crimes-for it makes even crimes impossible."
I've been to more than one suicide's funeral and knowing their reasoning never absolved them of guilt, but rather compounded it. Their reasoning, for causing the pain they did, always amounted to petty and selfish reasons. It always exposed a narcissism, an inflated sense of self-importance, deep within.
Dante's description of Hell for this sin is fitting, giving the nature of the act. Unlike the rest of the damned, who are given bodies which are twisted and punished in accordance to their crimes, the people who discarded their bodies are made to suffer without bodies. Instead, bound to broken, twisted, poisoned, and humiliated trees forever caught in entangled thoughts and disjointed reason.
Anger at people who commit self-die is entirely rational. They do cause a great deal of pain for which we can never hold them accountable for. The only hope for justice is the existence of Hellfire and/or a Purgatorial fire, which isn't exactly in our hands.
Ok when you talked about anger, I learned something about that, had a revelation.
In my past, anger was often used against me as a "tool" by abusive people. As a result I (subconsciously) refused to let my own anger out. I knew this happened, it does automatically like a reflex. I often wondered why that is.
Now with this I guess I found out that I misunderstood anger as something you let out against others, to hurt them, make them feel bad. But anger should be a form of self expression! That's the true purpose of it!
It's good to let some anger out without much rationalization or judgement as long as it's non-violent!
I still need to think about this, this was just a honest thought I just had, and I wanted to write it down somewhere.
That's a great way to put it! You have the right to have feelings and express them. You shouldn't push them down or push them on other people, but feel them and express them, that's the only way to get through them!
uhm I disagree.. you can be angry, but you can't show it.. it's in that moment they win.. deal with your anger later, never in the moment
Stay Fractalesque you're right, if you're still dealing with abusive people... In a healthy relationship, it's healthy and beneficial to be honest and show your feelings. Especially if you can say why you're angry, instead of just screaming. If you show your feelings to abusive people, they win. If you show your feeling to normal people, they can understand your feelings. Don't live the rest of your life like everyone around you is evil. Be careful, but let people earn your trust if they’re worth it.
@@JasminMiettunen you're right, I guess I'm just thinking of specifically physical expressions of anger like gesturing and posturing and raising your voice so on.. unless you fear for you life, it's probably best to stay calm and walk away.. dunno, I've had so many people throughout life try to get a rise out of me and they would do it and that's the part of the interaction I'm most ashamed, not my words but how I said it..
Stay Fractalesque if you know they’re just trying to get a rise out of you and purposefully make you angry or upset, you're right. Stay calm, walk away, and keep walking until that person is out of your life. It’s understandable to feel that way if that’s happened to you a lot, I'm the same way about crying. It's important to consider who the other person is in that situation. Don’t distrust everyone because of those people in you past, but give people the chance earn that trust, if they are worth it.
This one hit me hard! I once was upset at my wife for dying cus I knew from that day forward I would walk this world alone.
Honesty might Help You.
Lying in itself is not the cause of most stresses. It's the conditions that force us to lie. Since it's so prevalent it's pretty much systemic. If you want people to speak ''the truth'' , or rather to be honest (which does not necessarily mean that what they say is true), we have to re-arrange conditions so that being honest is not punished so much and actually reinforced.
Been following your insightful videos for a while now. From existentialism to grandiosity and now to honesty, the ideas are always fresh yet relatable and familiar at the same time. Thank you for all the great content
Man, the truths this channel has given me the past several months are priceless. I think this is the video that moves the needle for me to start supporting on Patreon. I actually feel wrong for not paying for this type of valuable content at this point.
You are always the light on my life, and in the deepest void, that i've been. Your videos reach in the right moment.
10:20
and it's the people who love us who seem to hurt us the most
times they die
Find ourselves cursing their ghost
I love how I forget about LSOO then when a video pops up it’s like I rediscover this channel all over again, it’s makes me so pleased that their is someone who takes the time and care to craft well purposeful videos like these. Much love from one to another!!
This might be a perfect video essay. Thanks for making this. Thanks for sharing this.
09:40 The dangers of gynocentrism
I want to leave another comment about how fantastic your videos are but I feel like I've been doing it too much. You're videos remind me why cinema moves me so. I appreciate them very much.
Every single one of your videos make me cry. It's like I have had all of these thoughts but never had the words for them and then you perfectly articulate them for me. Thank you so much. Your work is truly amazing
Almost every video you make hits and resonates deeply and is moving in a way very few things ever manage, for me. This is my favorite channel on youtube. I hope you keep doing these for a long time.
As always, its a pleasure to find bits of my own mind and heart scattered on your videos. Keep it up, man
I love your voice in these videos it’s so comforting
This is one of my absolute favorite channels on TH-cam. I love his voice, first of all, and his content is always deep and insightful. I often find myself deep in thought, and a lot of my thoughts do center around honesty, and its implications. Glad to see it tackled on this channel!
I love the desire you have to share a deep love and understanding that art gives you with the rest of the world. Much like the idea of this video, sharing that deep love must require an act of courage to tell us how you really feel. These deeper feelings make the videos you create worth it. I hope you never stray from this purpose, and continue to find deep meaning you can share within the art that touches you. Thank you LSOO!
@ Like Stories of Old Thank you so much for this video/wisdom/insight & all of the work you do & have done. Watching your content has allowed me to reflect honestly upon my life, my weaknesses & my shadow parts & begrudgingly accept these damaged parts of myself/facets with humility & grace. Although some hard feelings & onions get cut when I work thru this process....I am better for it & so thankful to come to these realizations, rather than remain blinded by the comfort of lies & in an unfinished state. I cherish your resources recommendations & synthesis of putting these insights into succinct clips we can all relate to. Thank you for all you do & for helping me find myself on this journey. Be well & I always look forward to your work. Keep it up!
time for another *_epic adventure_* with LSOO!
I started to tell the truth back in 2014, after realizing I had mental health issues. It started with panic attacks, then, ultimately, developing into depression. Later, I was diagnosed schizoaffective (Its a milder form of schizophrenia). The thing is, I was never ashamed. If you have a broken leg, do you not seek help? Sure ,I was often mocked and put down, those closest to me constantly told me I was weak. But how weak is it to admit that which makes you feel the least comfort? It made no sense to me. I actually felt bad for those treating me badly.
I have never felt shame for feeling so broken, its perfectly human.
Man, Tom, I love your work so much. Thank you so much.
Also, I plan to get Audible. I plan to listen to "Radical Honesty" before bed.
The video I never knew I needed. Thank you, LSOO - you are one of the few channels that speak to my soul. Its videos like these that keep me going when the punches are rolling, when the road is rocky, or when the mountain seems too high to climb up. You have deeply impacted my view of the world, and moreover, my view of myself. Thank you.
Another masterpiece that brought tears to my eyes. Thank you!
"This mess is the heart of what I have to offer to the world" -Brad Blanton
I like that. Thanks c:
This is a key element to why I find so few stories, satisfying. I am one of those who is truthful to a fault. Often wishing I had kept it to myself. Truth is mostly, unwelcome. It’s a much cleaner way to live and love. However, if you choose to live by truth, the elimination of at least one, part of this inner journey, can shine. We all perceive, differently. Truth is a moving target. I just keep trying. It’s something to hold on to.
"The truth will set you free."
You are a blessing to the world.
If it can be destroyed by the truth it deserves to be destroyed
Touching video as always, thank you
This video really struck me... I didn't really realise until now how much anger and resentment I hold until really confronted with it. Thank you LSOO, it has given me a lot to think about and hopefully act upon
The person who writes these videos are absolutely brilliant… you have become my favorite channel…blessed be…peace
I think we lie to avoid conflict, to maintain relationships, to get what we want. It’s all about us.
What we should do is tell other people what they need to hear to maintain their power of agency, and to flourish. That is about them.
That has an unsettling implication, that in fat some measure of lying or dishonesty is actually needed to make it through life. On a small personal scale, it can mean not telling a friend they were talking too much in order to spare them a moment’s embarrassment in a group. On a grand scale, think the ending of Watchmen, where Adrian Veidt’s violent gambit to save the world has to be maintained by the surviving Watchmen lying about what really happened in New York. But it’s perhaps just like the presence of acid in our stomachs. The amount we have is needed to digest food and live. Too much though, and we can be corroded. The lie is not inherently wrong or bad, but it’s only a few uses distant from turning the user into an actual liar.
Check the Circuit You are assuming that sometimes lies are better for people than the truth. I believe rather that the universe is moral and rewards truth.
@@davidhawley1132 I hope the universe is moral but I really don't think it is, and I think lies are necessary and sometimes beautiful.
I don't know why, but a MASH episode comes to mind where the doctors are trying to keep a soldier alive on Christmas so that the soldier's family won't have to remember Christmas as the day their son/husband died. There is a Doctor Who episode with the same premise. Unfortunately the soldier dies before midnight so the doctors falsify the record to change the date of his death. The point is to give the family a day to be happy before they must mourn an undeserved truth.
Let people be happy now because they'll suffer later. This is the basis of many of the lies we tell. We hide our suffering, our grief, and we alter the facts to allow people a little happiness before the day of reckoning.
We forget our pain and remember the beautiful because that is the only way we can bear our pasts. If we remembered everything and faced the truth, we would stop fighting, stop loving, stop having children and relationships and end our lives because life can be so painful without lies.
Jeffry Davy I would say that it is not lies, but hope that is beautiful and makes life livable. Without hope, all we have is lies, and its variants of pretending and distraction.
@@davidhawley1132 Hope is a way of lying, ultimately you and everyone you know will die. There is no such thing as real hope in human existence, hope is imaginary, might be a useful lie, but a lie non the less. What truly makes life livable is purpose, with purpose you can shape the world through your will, and that change will remain in the fabric of time and space eternally. Doesn't matter if it's remembered or not, your change will have irrefutably altered the universe for ever, for better or for worse. Just because you changed something. Every change you make does this, even just by breathing you change something. But to do this with purpose, that is how you can give your life meaning. If your life has purpose it has meaning, and then you don't need hope because you will want to live no matter the amount of suffering and misery you're in, you will always keep fighting for you live for something bigger than yourself.
This video is so good, I'm crying
Beautiful. I feel like I need to go find a corner and cry good tears while I think through everything you said...
Thank you!
You speak the calmest that I've ever heard a TH-camr speak. It's refreshing :)
You basically just made a video about being the person i'm trying to be.
@ Raurie Sime ~ me too! we are all growing & moving forward. I'm glad to see such remarkable ppl on this same honorable journey. We must all pick each other up & dust each other off when we stumble.....as this life is an accumulation of growth, not just one example.
...WE are trying to be. =P
A lot to unpack here, @FirstName Last ;)
First, I am puzzled by the jumps to _reckless_ then _chaotic_ then _miserable_ .
Even if there is a kind of recklessness in radical honesty, the next 2 adjectives of yours are not supported, I feel -- merely piled on for effect.
Why get stuck on _anger_ here? What you are saying about it, is true, but nowhere this essay was saying that anger itself is the ticket.
"Just damage someone" -- where in this essay do we hear him supporting this view? All I heard was how to try to create "positive change", yes. =D
Does anyone around you say ugly truths for no apparent reason?
@David Hytha, lies ARE a kind of magic potion, true... gonna read up on their "usefullness" now, to more fully appreciate/undersatnd where you might be coming from.
Then you should charge royalties
nice getting those sponsorships, love seeing your channel grow
You know, LSOO your work honestly saves a life or two in the span of a few minutes.
Thank you for being there.
Just found this video by looking for something immediately applicable to my perception of my present situation. Yes, in need of self honesty, fearless self-honesty naked and unchained. Especially during this time of social/physical isolation where the inward journey can be denied no more. This video spoke to me, to my sheltered heart. Tears are still falling. Thank you.
I told the truth; I got fired. I was honest with my landlord; I became homeless. I don't eat well; I'm oftem cold, but my sleep is not troubled by a bent conscience.
I regularly see well-fed, well-clothed, well-housed people who will say anything to keep up appearances and maintain their physical comfort.
I would not willingly trade places with them in 100 years.
I don't believe you.
@@Johnconno "The dead bodies of black males are circulated shared and memed with little hesitation. Many in our society accept this reality as a norm but what effect does death have on the lives [and] the mental concept of the self that black males formulate in this violent world ? How do black males regard the future in a world which is so limited by the present ?
To be a black male is to live in constant fear of being accused of some offence against another. Black males live in a world where any accusation [made] against them is thought to be evidence of their guilt" Tommy J Curry (professor of black studies and Africana philosophy currently based in Scotland, UK - excerpt from his book The Man Not.)
Careful who you make your master. One can become a slave to any value - even truth. Max Stirner writes about this in this book "The Ego and It's Own". The Standford encyclopedia page summarizes his point thusly: "accepted meanings and traditional standards of argumentation are underpinned by a conception of truth as a privileged realm beyond individual control. As a result, individuals who accept this conception are abandoning a potential area of creative self-expression in favour of adopting a subordinate role as servants of truth."
Well partly. The is an objective truth in things that should be told. Especially in science but it goes for art too.
The whole ”beauty is in the eye of the beholder”-schtick is pure BS for untalented hacks. Picasso is just kiddy scribbles and should be called out as such. Same with modern ”arcitechture” that are just ugly big lego bricks. Art is not purely objective but it’s fairly close; it has to have a standard with craftsmanship and live up to the old masters to qualify. If it doesn’t, point that out. Question it. Doesn’t matter if some feminist ”artist” that paints with her excrement gets offended by me pointing out she is a hack that makes nothing worthwile.
@@christianbjorck816 I agree with you in that epistemological relativity should not be used as a weapon to discredit art standards, philosophy, etc. All is not equal.
However - this does not mean truth exists as some absolute external reality. The question is not either/or. It's not one or the other.
Consider a child who loves the song "Old MacDonald Had a Farm." You would be right to say that in some sense, the child has poor taste. Nursery rhymes are simple songs, lacking the complexity and harmony of greater works of music. However, at the same time, the child would be doing himself a disservice to discredit his taste in subservience to a conception of what "good music" ought to be - a conception likely inherited from others.
No doubt, we expect the child as he grows to grow also in taste. But this does not mean he is wrong. What a man knows and understands for himself is his authority. There is nothing higher. And so, it is not a matter of objective vs subjective truth. We know nothing but what we ourselves are capable of knowing. What is there that is external to us? All reality must be first interpreted.
As Nietzsche pointed out as part of the idea of "perspectivism", just because there are different perspectives (and necessarily so) does not mean all perspectives are equal.
@@jake9674 Sure I mostly agree.
But in the case of the child; many of the old nursery rhymes with simple melodies are rooted in folkmusic and do have something to say other than "it's a funny little tune". I don't think it's a disservice to let the child listen to those or more advanced music, in favor of a modern pop-songs that are equally "simple" in terms of notes/harmony but lacks the complexity of cultural roots.
Same with reading, yes many fairytales and legends are fairly simple in language so that children can understand them with their limited vocabulary, but they are rich in content. If you as a child read that and understand why the stories are good, then you usually develop that taste and move on to other higher works of literature. Same with classic comic books. But if you just like many parents say "it's just good that my son reads" and it's the modern trash of children's books and comics (exceptions exist of course) that are propped with political statements and in many cases now pure propaganda, then you do them a disservice.
Some truths are objective, as in saying the earth is round and orbits the sun. It's just a factual statement. Same with biological genders. And if you can't find the objective truth in something then come as close as you can trough reasoning and exploring. What is missing is the search for truth and enlightenment. How many kids today value or feel connected to their own culture and art? Most don't even know about it. How can we expect soldiers to want to fight for their country when all it is now is grey concrete buildings and genderstudied "art"?
Christian you already said the same thing in another comment and you're still missing the point.
Try to empty your "bowl"
Hope you get it, its not worth explaining it to someone who believes to be the voice of the so called "objetive truth" and procceds to talk about the most subjetive thing on earth: Art.
Nicolas S. Haha ok pal, if you think art is subjective keep on living in that dreamworld. Your taste is subjective, the artwork itself is not. Splattering paint mindlessly on a canvas is not art in the least - no matter if you like it or not. The masters of old like Rembrandt and Michelangelo is art.
I find your editing, writing, and insights very stirring. You consistently out do yourself and I find myself returning to some of your videos time and again.
This video (and channel) has become one of my referents in life. Lying can happen often in one's life, and being aware of its implications makes you think twice to choose the correct decision. Now I understand more often why I get anxious/uncomfortable with some people, and that's just to pretend being one who you are not (even in the most small things). Thank you!
I love your videos, but my personal favorites are when you talked about the archetype of the hero. The one about the lover is the one I watch the most. In that video, you mentioned Carol S. Pearson and her book, The Hero Within. Even though you covered the first four, you've yet to cover the remaining two. The Altruist and The Orphan. If you decided to cover them; for the Orphan, I recommend two characters that I believe embody the archetype. Shinji Ikari from Neon Genesis Evangelion and Billy Batson from the DC comics movie Shazam.
Wait what
I enjoyed Sam Harris's book "Lying" in which he argues along the same lines: Never lie!
And mode one ?
You truly have a gift and always look forward to your videos. Not only are they very well thought out, the touch me to my soul. Thank you.
Man I just discovered your channel and your videos are out of this world. They are fantastic. And then I look at your subs and I'm like, how? How do you not have 1M subs? Your channel is extremely underrated.
im subscribed to hundreds of channels and yours is the only one were I have the feeling that I cant believe how good it is, I feel guilty if I miss a world...
"Know thyself" feels more relevant to practically everything. Yet, even reading a book is stigmatized even nowadays, or liking philosophy. Lie works. Lie is a tool to fit in, a tool to survive in the social jungle of bullying and stigmatizing, success, survive and even simple ego. I hate lying, deceit and hypocrisy. Cancer awaits the awakening call of lying. That's why Stoicism is prolly the best "religion".
Great video, how did i missed it for so long. 🖖
My heart breaks over how much I needed to read this for myself, as well as the pain I've let engulf what was once beautiful. Thanks for this.
I feel like I just got exposed by this. I could never connect and put these thoughts together. This so accurately describes me, I teared up during the video. IVE NEVER DONE THAT BEFORE. Thank you for this.
But sometimes honesty isn't the best solution, and lies are a survival defence. If you are an oppressed invisible minority (ie gay, trans, gender-queer, religious/non-religious minority, a mental health disorder) being honest can make you disowned by your parents, lose your job, foster violence, lose rights or benefits, etc.
Self-help is great but doesn't take into account society's role in creating problems.
Its battle of society's rationale of survival vs your own survival. And itself is contradicting , and always will be, we just have to embrace it and work with it. Cause like the video explained, is a cycle that lives, dies and gets reborn. It's by nature we lie or tell the truth to survive but it's also the thing that burdens us. To tell the truth is just a step to lighten the load we often carry without really wanting, but we feel the need to carry it to survive.
Society evolves cause survivors are able to make the change.
Your voice is smooth like silk
Perfect timing. The bit about anger was mind blowing to me. It just made me aware of my anger and how I was coping. It's like a switch just turned on in my brain. I truly needed this video.
I started to think about all that has been honest to me over the years after watching this video. First of all, my humble feet. They have been there since an early age, not quite useful from day one but I have used them more than any part of my being. They confirm that what you say is true. My legs, also, regret all the times they did not walk away from things they should have. After 36 years my stomach is tired of being twisted and holding in the pain of all it has had to ingest. My lungs are sore from all the battle cries that were never screamed. My heart aches from the compassion and the fortitude that I could not muster. My arms are sore from the swords that were never swung against clear enemies. My eyes are full of tears yet my brain is still able to conceptualise hope, this acute hope because of your words my dear boy. To all, we are one, I beg you to be who you are every day and to never forget all that is good and beautiful in this world. B.
I live in level 3 . You don’t have too many friends there lol
Amusing ourselves to death
The only issue I have with telling the truth is that I don't really know what the truth is. Questions like "who am I?", "what are my beliefs?", "what do I want to be?" are too complex to answer for subjective creatures like us.
I think the narrative necessities of characters in books and movies lead us to believe that there are concrete answers to these questions. Nobody has them. In fact, one of the main reason why people create these stories with contradicting characters is to address this personal conflict. And we as audience enjoy them precisely because we go through the same conflict.
There might be some truth about us that we're aware of. But I would argue that it is surface truth. Deep down we all know that we are not all that confident about our beliefs. Either they are superficial i.e. vulnerable to the slightest scrutiny, or they're a result of our unique circumstance of life - not any objective truth.
We can't tell the truth. It's too much of a burden. The best we can do, in my opinion, is not lie. And let the chips fall the way they are supposed to.
If you start by telling what you think is true in that moment then you are on the right path. Nobody expects you to know it all.
Exactly. There's no point in "radical honesty" unless youre sure to know the whole truth. None of us do. No point in harming others with ignorance.
@@youtou252 Subjectivity is always implied.. telling someone what you think in an honest way might be more helpful than harmful. If nobody says anything you'll never realize how to improve.
I wish I was surrounded by people who tell me the truth rather than being more concerned about being polite and not offending me.
the video directly addresses this. the first layer of truth is to acknowledge facts. the second is to acknowledge your thoughts and feelings. the third is more akin to what you're talking about. it's hard to be truthful when you're not used to it, but as you get better and more comfortable with it you can start asking yourself those hard questions and evaluate who you are more objectively and without bullshitting yourself. the truth is a terrible thing, but not compared to falsehood.
I've said it before and I'll say it again. Your videos are beautiful and they always come to me at the time I need them most in my life. When their messages ring loudest. Thank you for what you do. Your videos are the highlights of my days when they're released and I see my morals and virtues reflected in your messages. Thank you.
I can not express how much I needed to hear this. Thank you.
How do you get away with using so much intellectual property without getting tagged by TOS.
ConstantCompanion The copyright claim system picks up on content based on the audio, not the video. LSOO doesn’t put a lot of audio in so it doesn’t get noticed by the system.
Because by the end of the video, any lawyers watching are crying so hard they can't see their keyboards.
Generally, I don't let clips run longer than 10 seconds (avoids detection by the Content ID system), and I make sure to stay within the boundaries of fair use, meaning I don't use any material that is not part of the analysis (copyrighted soundtracks for example)
@@LikeStoriesofOld You could also claim fair use, due to it being educational?
@@haidengeary8277 Yep!
I think about this alot, Ive been thinking about this kind of thinking for months. So i like to think that I have been honest to myself. But what if thats just lying to myself and I dont know it? Or I cant realize it? That scares me.
Your knowledge is always incomplete.. you can only strive to do best with what you know.
Just the right video at just the right moment at just the right place. You're killing it dude, love this. Thank you.
I love the film and television edits you use to convey the message. 5 seconds can hold hours of meaning behind them. I try to do the same using projected visuals combined with music to enhance the intention in live DJ sets. Started crying around the 10 minute mark, at the very moment a storm front hit my bedroom window. Soon the sun will come out and I can keep watching.
You should talk about STOICISM in Ad Astra 🖤🔝
Vanilla Sky please! Been waiting so long! 😭😭😭
Ooh yes please 😢
Try the original Spanish film 'Abre Los Ojos'. So much better than that bland remake.
@@landscapedetective4064 I like them both.
I am surprised to hear this articulated so clearly, and presented so unthreateningly. It is such a big, strong idea that it often appears threatening. Kudos to whoever constructed this video.
Thank you for your pace and wonderful insight, always takes me out of the daily routine and throws me into a delightful existential crisis.
COULD YOU PLEASE MAKE A LIST OF ALL MOVIES SHOWCASED IN THIS VID ??
Whats the movie with Viggo Mortensen? (Not talking about lotr)
First comment 👌 Couldnt miss this one, your a legend lsoo! love the content 👍👍
I'm just thinking about coming forward with the truth to someone, I masked mysef with anger. This vid just helped me immensly. Thank you!
These are a blessing. I look forward to every new video. Thanks you!
Radical Honesty: You are going to have to resubscribe to Audible.
Holy shit that was incredible!
but also guilt inducing...
Really incredible video about complex concepts. You did a good job at explaining them. From what I gathered, you must continuously reveal the truth about who you are to other people and be willing to take the pain it might cause you , in order to be "born again" as a newer, truer self. But then, over time, that newer version of yourself you present to the world must also be torn down by revealing hard truths about yourself to others again. We're constantly creating false selves to cover up our flaws, and it is only by the honest confession of those flaws to other people can we grow as people.
I remember that your video on Interstellar brought me to tears which in turn brought personal catharsis. This video is no different. Your work is beyond inspiring. Thank you for it.
I feel like I need to watch these about three times because it is so dense and full of amazing details. One of the best channels out there, so glad I found it.
I gotta tell my boyfriend I love him.
New video. Yes!!!
Edit:
Oh wow, first to comment? Haha feels cool.
Edit 2:
"We carry a lot of anger. Most of it is irrational but it is there nonetheless and the problem is that by swallowing it, a simple frustration becomes a relentless plague on our thoughts turning what should have been a brief moment of honest self-expression into prolonged experience of growing resentment that given enough time might destroy the very thing you sought to protect in the first place..."
Beautiful!
Thanks for these wonderful videos.
Congratz! ;)
I think this is the third of your videos I've seen that has made me cry. For being soft-spoken, your words sure do punch hard. But I like them a lot. Thank you.
This came at the right time. Almost fated or actual fate for this to be the first on my feed tonight.
My ex wife is hurting and had been looking for answers I felt I've given her why we didn't make it. Why I failed as a family man. This, perhaps, will get me to the core of my truth.
The issue in my thoughts is everyone thinks being honest is about being vehemently negative.
Thing is, outlook has a vital role in honesty too. Most of the time when people say a sunset looks beautiful, they aren’t lying. They’re being honest; they really find the sunset beautiful. Like a food? They’ll say they like the food. But being honest during more negative views like not liking what your partner does to decorate or not liking the way your boss treats you, I think the key to that is in not overdoing it, but still getting it out. You don’t like the food? Swallow that bite (if it’s safe to), and say “no more, not my kind of taste but thank you”. Don’t like the decoration? Say “maybe I just haven’t gotten used to having the other half of the colors” or something of the sort. There’s a difference between expressing dissatisfaction and being rude. Of course that’s subjective too, because to some people “rude” seems to be doing anything more than just breathing. Some people hold stoic philosophies (like myself, for example), and find very few things to be rude. Most people it’s really in the area of “you don’t actively insult, you’re understood. You do, screw you.”
Plenty of people know we’re not all the same. Plenty of people know we all have interests and disinterests that are both cultural and personal. Keep out the “your way is awful” expressions, and chances are you’ll be fine most of the time.
If it helps; I took on a personal policy to stop lying a few years ago. School troubles, lying was literally all that worked to get through the day; and when I got out, I decided to halt it. And since then, I have made people cry, both tears of joy and tears of misery. Friends have left and friends have come, but nobody says anything close to they don’t know how I’m feeling or what I’m thinking, because I’ll tell them if I think it’s worth it. And I tell them how it is; how I truly see it as. Because that’s what “telling it as it is” really is; outlook, and unfortunately usually a pretty shitty one, but outlook. Most truth that isn’t event-based is pretty subjective. For example;
“Someone at the party did so much weed they passed out mid-sentence.” - that isn’t subjective. If someone passed out after only saying “wha-“ instead of “what?”, that’s pretty definite.
“That food tastes like buttery shit.” - is it possible it actually tasted like buttery shit? Maybe. I don’t know what buttery shit tastes like. Maybe you do, person saying the food from last night tasted like buttery shit. But unless you actually have tasted that, it’s opinion. Doesn’t make it any less true in regards to “you really, really don’t like it”, but isn’t true in that maybe somebody else does.
When it’s you talking about someone or something else, chances are it’s personal to the point of subjective through view. When it’s you or someone/something else talking about something that happened, well, unless you guys are pretty rampant liars, chances are it’s at least mostly true, especially in the vital ways.
Spoken from experience that’s luckily for the most part done me pretty well the past few years. 👍🏼
8:44 Does expressing your anger not do more harm than repressing it (at least temporarily)? I don't know how many times I've seen people blow up as they get caught up in the firestorm of their anger. People also seem to loose rationality when they give in to and release their anger and may lose the ability to make a rational decision to what has happened. I'm reminded of a story called The Fence. Where in the end the boy learns that words said in anger to people leave scars. I believe it's better to wait until emotions have cooled before discussing the issue. I'm curious what your thought are on this?
Huge explosions of anger can be due to resentment that has been accumulated over days, weeks, months, or years. Then, the only thing that people need to "explode" is a small trigger, being tired, or when being stressed for example.
When anger is expressed as it arrises (e.g., being annoyed that your kids don't do the dishes), it can be expressed in a calmer way, with as little bagage as possible, which conveys the message better also.
Once you start practicising being honest with others and yourself, you will notice that you express yourself more and that you will have less "exploding" anger moments.
@@yorgohoebeke Hmm... this makes a lot of sense, thanks for your response. I can understand how repressing this emotion can make it a lot worse. I think we have a lot of negative programming around anger and how we handle it in our culture. Growing up some of us are punished for showing our anger and told things such as "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." I'll think about it some more. Appreciate your response, cheers!
I love your work! It is more moving than any spiritual teaching I've ever read/listened to and Ive read A LOT! Thank you so much for sharing!
This is by far, my favorite video of his. I listen to it every few months.
I love that you used images from the latest Star Wars movies. I have been wanting you to say something about them, and now you have, in a really meaningful way. At the same time, I have also NOT been wanting you to say anything about them. Because I would hate to watch you being drawn into the worse-than-hell pit that is the Star Wars fandom now. But that's more of an aside note - I think I'll put this book on my reading list. Yay!
Living in a conservatives society makes lying a necessity sometimes. Like how you might get jailed for being honest about not following your birth religion.
You have to lie in any market economy. You have to buy all sorts of stuff you don't need. Many products are designed intentionally to fail, and some fail by being pushed out of date through updates.
Thank you for posting such fulfilling videos. I love your soothing voice and ideas behind your inspirational content!
I wish I could subscribe a second time! Also an thought: "within a lie can lay the truth just as much the truth can be constructed of lies, all in all 'honesty' is such a complex equation of narratives, (ir)rational thinking, actions and a turmoils of emotions."