In my years, I learned that you can’t help people or fix whatever is going on. Only they can fix it, all you can do is merely be present and allow things to run their course and when the dust settles, maybe they will see your silhouette standing there. Waiting there in tears and love.
Yes yes yes!! It took me a long time to come to terms with this, not only having to pick up my own broken pieces (which seemed impossible) but feeling helpless in unable to ‘fix’ others. I feel like mindset is so powerful and we are all different in how we deal with our issues but you will heal as you grow as a result of your suffering. It’s so difficult but it’s also kind of reassuring knowing you are your own solution💗 I really hope I worded that okay haha, I find it hard putting deeper thoughts like this into words
As a father who doesn't live with his kid who has taken a turn for the worse, I absolutely cannot believe this to be true. It would be irresponsible as a father...
You consistently create such wholesome, positive, and compassionate content - Every time I sit down to spend time with a new video here, I leave feeling vulnerable, loved, and accepted. I feel like you are meditating with me, and I am so grateful for these experiences and perspectives you share and extend. I wish you well
I don't know your life or experience, but I thought if you could show them this video they might understand it too. Sorry if this is from an unknowing random person, I wouldn't know till I learn
I know it's been a whole year but I hope you've been well. ❤ Maybe this'll remind you of this video, and you'll come back for a refresher. I know it's helped me.
This video hit me like a truck. Just yersterday I was having a heart-to-heart with my girlfriend about her alcohol issues and how they negatively affect her life (and our relationship to a certain point), and at the end of it, I felt like I knew the real her just a little bit better, but the certain truth is that no matter what I do, I can't change those internal aspects of her, I can only remain by her side, offering my unconditional love and support, and hope that she will come to see the parts of herself that actively damage her, and be strong enough to make the choice to deal with them.
It's apart of human nature to self sabotage. Make sure that you don't sabotage yourself because of her actions. If she drowns in the bottle, you shouldn't have feel like you have to drown too.
Be careful not to lose yourself as you stand by waiting for her to heal. You deserve to be happy, too, and sometimes that means having the courage to let go.
Sub use counselor here... if you are enabling her... leave. Tough love is hard but its real love! Unconditional support actually can be a problem with users!!!
a lot of the best shows got pass unnotice for some reason. mr robot for example it's also one of the best shows ever made and it barely gets mention. specially outside de us
I disagree that it's the best show of the past decade. I loved it but personally, I think Rectify takes that title. If you thought The Leftovers has the least amount of attention out of all the great shows, Rectify somehow has even less. I hope one day LSoO watches it and maybe does a video on it. Because it's really quite a poetic and beautiful show.
your biggest asset is your voice. it is so calming and serene, everything you say feels more profound and important. another great video my guy. keep going
I respect his sentiment but I disagree. Your voice is calming and serene but your biggest asset is your ability to carefully construct a video essay that gradually builds a coherent narrative. You string your ideas together magnificently and the clips you choose hammer in the emotion. This can't be easy. Thanks for pointing out the art. To Paradoxical Citizen, I mean no disrespect pointing this out. I imagine you simply wanted to call attention to his voice and not diminish his other qualities. Cheers.
I've loved your evolution as a creator. You went from exploring a specific idea within a specific film, to broader philosophical themes underlying a group of films or within the works of a filmmaker, to finding a form of personal expression by using clips from films that resonate with your own ideas. And the skills you've acquired along the way is very evident in how well the clips, music and the edit support the emotional highs and lows of your narration. Really looking forward to see you discover more of this beautiful form of yours. Thank you. Much love :)
The most powerful tool to help those you love is to simply listen. So much pain and suffering in this world comes from people simply not bothering to stop and actually listen to the pains and troubles of others, even when actively trying to solve them.
Thank you. This video perfectly articulated something that I've been trying to explain for a long time. I felt this way about a failed relationship with someone I thought I was supposed to save, but couldn't. Cried through the whole video. ❤️
Absolutely. And I can't let go of how I was never meant to change them- I couldn't- no one can change another. I was supposed to love them as they are. Not in my own well meaning arrogance prresuming to know what another person needs and race them on a timeline not of their own and in a journey that it was not their decision to embark upon. I learned that I lost the person I love because I wasn't really loving him as he was at that moment. This hurt me and humbled me and I miss him to this day.
I live for merging my inner self with my outer self by projecting the inner self outwards as much as possible & having someone understand that inner self
Watching this when I felt absolutely lost in my life and not knowing how to help my girlfriend out of depression has helped me way more than anything else, you are a true treasure on this platform
I don't know how you do it you are a master in your own freaking way man I don't even know how to explain it you have a way to bring a tear to my eye and I'm a pretty tough guy when I'm sober when I am not sober I can be pretty mushy but I tell the truth I want to thank you for everything you've done you've helped me in ways you will never understand I show your channel to everybody to help them if they're in need and your way of speaking definitely does that thank you again
I am struggling with these thoughts and this theme since 2017. This gave me Peace. I can't believe at the Perfection of the way you articulate your message in your videos. I am just glad for your channel being available to me. Thank you. I don't have words to thank you and love you enough 🌼✨💖🌻🤗 Have a Good Life !
I've been in the roughest time of my life these last few days after telling the truth to someone I've hurted and now people know I'm not the person people always thought... i opened up myself to become so vulnerable that it really hurts and scares me but it is needed in order to keep going and move on. You have to pay the prices for your mistakes whether you realise it or not.
So touching. That sense of brokenness and helplessness is so intense but at the same time is so liberating, because there is no way out. At that moment, we should face who we are and recognize that we can not continue to keep the lie. We cannot blame others, we can't even think of guilts or merits. Unless we feel that other's wound is really our wound, we cannot comprehend others. We can only comprehend others in the extend we can comprehend ourselves and we can only help others in the extend we can help ourselves. This is compassion, love, openness and understanding. That's the only help we can really offer to others. If we recognize who we truly are, we see that it is beautiful, because it is true. In the end, the story doesn't matters anymore.
18:11 How can we expect anyone to understand us when we have a million thoughts a second and they try to empathise with you, but have a million thoughts themselves?
The most successful person I know is a meth addict. He enjoys life more than anyone else his age that I know. He is like a perpetual child who never grew up, he loves his remote control cars more than I love any non-person object. I envy him. I wish I was easily amused.
That closeness and knowing someone so well can also be what you hate about them. Such as every time they leave to "go to the store", you know that it's secretly just so they can get some more liquor.. or a lover who won't stop cheating and can never stop lying about everything-- but you stay because for now, your kid's childhoods mean more to you than your own happiness. When you know a person so well, that you know they are just lying to you yet again; you can come to hate who they are on such an intimate level, because you know exactly what kind of monster they really are inside, while the rest of the world only sees the lie.
Incredible. Again. You talked about how our inner selves must be communicated. They need to be funnelled and contorted into a verbal language which is spurted out and then received and unpacked -- often incorrectly -- by those we are attempting to communicate with. That is deeply, profoundly true. It is also the thing stopping me from expressing what your videos truly mean to me. I must communicate that sentiment through the woefully inadequate medium of the English language. But you create very, very special things. I feel lifted after every upload. Thank you.
I often realise this when I am missing the people I have lost over the years The question that forever stumps me, is, "what would you say to them if you could see them one last time and you only have the time for one sentence" I always think of a billion useless sounding half copied quotes about my love for them or the loss that we feel without them, or some weak sounding apology for my failure to save them or show them how much I loved them while they were alive, and still do It is never enough. I don't think you can convey what you feel too those who are no longer here anyway. However, while they were here - I would never have said those junk words...I would, had I known what I know now - back then, have SHOWN them, that I truly respected who they were. That the things they felt were valid and meaningful and worthwhile. That they had shined a light on my world that no one else may be able to see ..... Yet that blinded me. I would hold them more often without fear of rejection, or without taking the rejection personally if I was rejected. I would have made them laugh more often I would have laughed at the things they did to to try to make me laugh when I was a grumpy, every time. I would never have missed a chance to watch the way they interacted with there kids or families or friends. I would have realised the depth meaning and been filled with gratitude for having them invite me to participate an event That would allow me this insight. I never would have let myself think that they were not loving me in the way that I wanted. As Though it was my choice and mine only how they express themselves to the world. I never would have assumed that I was doing any better that their attempts of showing love - because, looking back, I most certainly was not. I would have allowed for more fun. Like .... Play. I would have let go of my struggle to be "normal" and my wish to drag them into that sad ideal. And instead , sat around doing nothing with them watching tv or baked chocolate cake, or made fun of each other and tried to trick each other with funny little pranks and jokes. They seemed to find that important. I never allowed the time to even consider it as a reasonable way to spend time until i lost those U loved. Playing.... Laughing.... They ARE love. They are what defeat the opposite anyway. And if I could explain the above in one sentence to them I would, I would give almost anything to have the opportunity to just know they were still here, with opportunity and hope. But I can't. So now I choose to learn my lesson. And I make sure I do all those things with the people who are still here, that I do love, that I will miss one day, or that will miss me. I want to make sure neither of us must feel the loss anymore than we need to. We won't have boring nights with the TV on and no communication, we won't have to look back on the ways we missed out on being there for one another, we won't have to hurt to the very core just because we never bothered to really stop and listen to the people we will one day miss. At least no more than is necessary or appropriate. I personally, make it my most important thing to do, every time we are together.... To allow their words to be as important as anyones , to show them that, to give them back what they offer and a little more to boot in the way of hugs and kisses, to be Concious of the inability to ever express the way I feel and vice versa. And to attempt to , at least in some way, make up for that - by showing them instead.
This…lesson…I learn it again and again. But the compulsion to help. The ego that I think I can. I return to it like a comet whose path is governed by the gravitational pull of those a love. The thing broken in me…my “helping” no one in the end.
@@Chris-vs6ll What utter crap. You take a discussion about intensely personal experiences with friends and family, and you try to make a *political* statement out of it? Talk about missing the point.... You *cannot* control the choices other people make, and sometimes -- no matter what you do -- some of those individuals will make bad decisions. They'll make self-destructive choices, and commit actions that harm themselves or (even worse) other people, and you may never understand why they think those thoughts, or do those things. You can listen. You can offer good advice. You can try to provide the best example you can, with your own life, about how more good choices than bad choices (and we *all* make bad choices, from time to time) can slowly help move life in a positive direction. But you *cannot* save people who refuse to listen, who refuse to acknowledge the reality that their own bad, self-destructive choices will cause harm to themselves, and sorrow to others. You do the best you can, and in most cases, it helps. But you have to acknowledge that -- sometimes, for some people -- there's nothing you can do. That's what's real.
@@Chris-vs6ll so you are taking all this space to fill it with all these words and then you are not interested in any conclusion? You just run away? Because that is what it feels like to me, you are trying to escape a pain that you conver up with all these ideas and arguments.
You Are helping yourself. And that is not selfish, who could you truly support, if you are not standing solid on two feet with your own strength? Who can you help if you yourself are in need of it? We do not have to sacrifice everything in order to give ourselves completely. We can only give what we are able to give, nothing less and nothing more. And so we learn and grow, as with every step we learn to give just a bit more. And what else matters?
@@Chris-vs6ll I am a little confused how 'I took the original comment at face value, and responded with my very own opinions' meant your response was connected to the original comment. The video, was very much that you cannot save those you love, as per the title, and the original comment is very much on the line of that essay the video considers. That no matter how much we want to help, how much we believe what is needed to help, those who we try to help cannot always be helped, and sometimes even when the help is accepted it can make the original problem worse. This is caused (in LSoO's opinion, and in part in my opinion) by a lack of ability to communicate deep issues on both sides, a lack of intimacy before hand, knowing and understanding a person, their angelic side, their personal demons, or just their history. I could tell you I had a bad day at work, but that would not accurately convey what I mean even if using a photographic memory retelling of every action; What I felt, and my personal experience of that event are personal, because of the context at work, and my personal history, unrelated to the event, but deeply affecting my response to the event, and to be honest, no-one could because you are not me, in the same way that I am not you, and even our personal interpretation of the same event could be very different. The original OP stated that they felt their need to help was egoistic, and sometimes caused pain through the process, and whatever the film 'A River runs through it' used to cause the original pain, was demonstrated that the help offered in the movie wasn't successful from the clips and narrative LSoO used. I think AA use 'accepting I am an Alcoholic' as one of the steps, until someone sees they have a problem, and is aware of the help available and is willing to accept that help, whatever you do, I don't care what you believe, but that help, whether perfect or not, is absolutely useless and will in most cases do more harm. As a very simple example, your friend has become addicted to Meth. They don't think its a problem, and wont accept your help to take them to drug rehabilitation. So, maybe I will threaten their dealer to stop supplying them. This is you helping, them not accepting that help and making it worse anyway, because if they didn't find another dealer seeing you as the cause and impediment, they will possibly have a come down that come down that kills. Well done, you've just fucked it up even more than it was on a response of not stopping helping them, you egoist.
@@Chris-vs6ll Okay, I find your responses disingenuous, intellectually dishonest, and mildly offensive. Firstly, this is a *public forum*, and that means you DO NOT get to tell me what I can and cannot write, in response to whom. So, I will respond as I see fit to what you wrote, and you don't get to tell me I cannot. Secondly, you wrote, "The reality is you have the power, it’s those in power who want you to believe that you have zero power but that it’s okay and you’re blameless." That's a political statement. Any human relationship built on power is, by definition, a political relationship. I simply responded to what you actually wrote, and I found it wholly irrelevant. This whole video was about the difficulty we sometimes experience when we try to help those we love -- and love *is not* a political power relationship. Finally, you wrote, "So I guess everyone is unreachable, unable to helped, and it’s bad if they harm anyone else other then themselves in their condemned pain...." I NEVER wrote that. I never wrote anything like that. What I *did* write was, "You do the best you can, and in most cases, it helps. But you have to acknowledge that -- sometimes, for some people -- there's nothing you can do." What part of that seems to you that I advocate avoidance of responsibility, or that I despair of ever being able to help anyone, and so won't bother to try? Sometimes you can help. A lot of times, even. That makes it worth the attempt. That's clear from what I wrote; yet you put words in my post that *I never wrote.* You then posted two long rants arguing with something I never said. Next time you want to engage in that form of wanking, get a room. Nobody else wants to see it. Let's be clear. It's always worthwhile to try to help, because (frequently) it does help. However, any help you offer comes to a dead stop if they exercise their right to refuse your assistance. No matter how wise, or well-intentioned, our help may be, they have the *right* to say, "No" -- to tell you to back off and get lost. If they make that choice, you can keep trying (and they can keep refusing); you can (eventually) accept that there's nothing left for you to do and what happens next is on them; or you can resort to physical coercion -- and, in so doing, pile the trauma of oppression on top of whatever they're already struggling with. At no point did the author of the video ever say it's not worthwhile to try to help. However, this video focused on those particular instances where your offer to help is REFUSED. People may, and some will, spurn your offer to help them, and you might never know why. This video focuses on how hard that is to accept, when all we want is what's best for someone we love, and that person refuses the offer, and we never understand why.
I exhausted myself both mentally and physically always trying to fix others, especially those that wouldn’t particularly let me help them. This lesson was such a hard pill to swallow, but I believe you can’t help anybody. Only you can help you and you can only encourage and nudge other people in the right direction, then it’s up to them to chart their course💕
Little by little you show me that there’s likeminded individuals like you who create such wonder and knowledge that I can recognise in my own endeavours. You save parts of myself I didn’t know how badly I needed. Thank you Tom.
I love that A River Runs Through It is such a grounding point for this video essay. I love that story so much that I moved to Hamilton MT (just south of Missoula) to be near Maclean's home. I am haunted by that story, and I love to imagine how Norman felt compelled, all those decades after his brother died, to tell Paul's story, to make sure that Paul was remembered for his spirit and beauty, not his flaws. This essay is one of my favorites from you. It speaks not merely to the human experience, but also to the power of film (and other art forms) to guide us in life, to show us that others have struggled and survived.
There was actually someone in my life who I loved more BEFORE understanding them completely. There came a point in my life when I did understand them completely, and it was at that moment that I realized I loved my perception of them more than them. Sometimes when you find out more about people, your love for them deepens, but other times, the more you find out, the more the façade begins to crack.
Your videos are a special form of therapy for me, man. The work you do is nothing short of a masterclass in evoking emotion and complete relatability among a vast audience that I truly hope continues to grow.
Listen to those you love. If you really want to help anyone, listen to them with absolutley no expectation to offer advice but only to make them feel understood.
I felt the need to cry today, so I returned to this video. I believe it is the most extraordinary video you have produced. This is a big claim considering the countless classics you have already uploaded. You are without doubt my favourite video producer and I much prefer to watch your videos than the movies you base your videos on. Regarding my watching this video in order to feel some repressed sadness - I cried within the first 10 seconds. Thank you for your insight and for the evocative videos that you create 💙🙏
I signed up for a year of curiosity because of this video. My wife and I are going through some real heavy stuff right now; we're in crisis. This video really helped to soften my heart against what is going on right now. You've made an impact. Thank you.
I return to each video over and over, like listening to an old friend repeat an oft told tale and learning something new each time. Each visit takes my breath away.
I may have watched this five times. It just hits so many of the right chords, and is fluent and profound in what it expresses. What a contribution to society. Thank you.
A River Runs Through It…. ahh. An extremely under appreciated film. It almost innocently captures what it’s like to love those who won’t be reached and can’t explain themselves what is in them that keeps them near and far always.
I was so close to crying multiple times watching this video. It's truly amazing how you can describe such a human experience and articulate the deep sense of tragedy and compassion. I really enjoy watching your videos because of how you showcase a charitable and warm perspective on humanity. Cynicism is so easy to find, so it's really heartening to see your content. The world could use more people with your viewpoint on life.
I have been struggling with this for so long. Thank you for making this. I cried by the end of your video. I needed this and found it when I needed it. I hope people I love and care find what they can relate to and bring them peace. Love.
So glad The Leftovers got a shoutout. My favorite show, because no other show has given so much back to after watching it. I suggest it to anyone going through grief.
You and me both brother, I was completely captivated by the leftovers. Towards the end of season 3 brought me to tears multiple times. The other great thing about the show was I knew nothing about it I didn't watch any trailers I didn't read a description. I just started watching and it took only the few minutes that I was like WTF! and the show never stopped with that, but sometimes the thing you think is about to happen doesn't and it's always left me wondering
I somehow missed this video, but it showed up on my recommendations in such an amazing moment. I'm currently struggling with understanding my younger brother who keeps getting more and more distant, to the point of causing genuine concern. As the older brother and having recently lost our father, I feel the burden is on me, but this video helped me understand it is not. I cried with the "It's not your fault" montage, so thank you immensely for that.
Tom… thanks for this video. For any of us who have experienced these things in any way will find this video enormously, immensely helpful and soothing, even if we’re past these feelings. It’s hard to explain, but thanks so so so much.
I Love your channel. I discovered it while very sick in body in a hospital in Ireland. 16 September 2017. Thank you for helping me move out of pain and into accepting my troubled soul
Whenever I feel down, all i need to do is watch, or rewatch, one of this channel's videos. They are such an important part of my life. Thank you for that.
This is BY FAR the best video i ever watched. Years of content, but this one hits hard. I'm also very glad that i recognized almost all of the scenes. The Leftovers is a timeless masterpiece indeed. Amazing, brilliant content!
This video made me feel and cry, I’ve been in this slow long bicycle ride of thinking through a breakup and growing up and loneliness for the last five years and this, this helps
Thank you @Like Stories of old chanel God bless you. I just lost my wife with a long illness, watching this video make me understand so many things that I couldn't understand till I see this essay, keep making this type of videos, you will be reword greatly in this life and in the other one 🙏
So happy to see that you're including The Leftovers as one of the best TV shows you've seen. I think the same. It's probably the TV show that saved me from my depression. I think everyone should watch it once in their life. I just don't get why it didn't have more plp watching it.
Yeaah! it made me very happy also. The Leftovers is wonderful and terrible and deep and so absolutely f..... beautiful tv show. Every chapter one punch inch to your heart. I would love if he decided to do and essay only for "The Leftovers"
I'm always left in awe after watching your videos. Somehow, whenever I come across one on my feed, it is the message I need to hear at that precise moment. Even when it doesn't seem like it would fit, it does. I am full calm and of new understanding. Thank you, for all that you do.
Every time I come to this channel to watch a video of yours I open up, I tend to cry and I am reminded of the beautiful things in my own life. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
What a beautiful, insightful essay. The emotions in your narration gives the concept and ideas another profound layer of depth. Thank you for creating and sharing.
I saw the title to this video and avoided watching it for weeks because I didn’t want to know the answer, or even acknowledge that it was a valid point. Powerful and moving video. Wisdom.
My father was an alcoholic and drug addict. He was homeless for many years and contracted tuberculosis. I loved him very much even though he abandoned us. I forgave him regardless of the mistakes he made. I tried so hard to help him when I became an adult and he simply didn't want it and was in denial. A lot of my family members tried to help him in vain. Unfortunately he died 8 years ago. His body finally succumbed to the decades of abuse he put it through. It was a harsh lesson to learn that no matter how much you love someone you can't help them if they don't want it. I'm not religious and I don't know what happens when we die, but I just hope he's at peace and no longer in pain.
Man, your videos are just something else. Pretty much every time they make me cry. You do what we despperately need in this profane world. Thank you, with all my heart!
Thanks Tom. I constantly worry about friends, and after the passing of my mother this year, I also feel for my fellow family members all the time. I'm a quite co-dependent person who struggles with depression, anxiety, and paranoia, and I constantly want help validation, and affirmation from others. I bounce from wanting more concern from loved ones to being afraid of making them worry too much. Something my grandma told me is "people do what they want to do and they dont do what they dont want to do" as she explained how spending your life trying to help someone by changing them is a fruitless road. I feel myself with age more and more needing to develop a healthier relationship with myself, and needing to feel less yearning towards being validated by more and more people, and value the strong relationships I already have and make them stronger. While watching this video it made me think of how important it is for me to have good relationships with the people I care about the most, and how much energy ive put into new ones, that maybe I only started to make myself feel better or more liked or more safe.
Absolutely compassionate analysis of life , love and the things we are unable to comprehend , love is not always a panacea , but it is all we have and it is enough, sometimes beyond the regret , the betrayal, the hurt , beyond everything is the purity of having loved . its all we have .
I just got out of a relationship with someone who had severe PTSD and this video helped a lot. You can't fix people until they're willing to themselves.
I've watched this so many times I've lost count. It keeps me on a true course, it reminds me of what I find beautiful, and put into words such a profound feeling and experience. This has saved my spiritual life already, and I know it will continue to do so. It's so beautiful I've started rehearsing it so that I can speak these truths in social situations when they might be able to comfort someone else.
Each time you upload a new video I love this channel even more. Thank you so much for the wise lessons and profound experiences you have given me all these years. This is my favorite TH-cam channel because each time I see one of your videos I'm reminded of what it is like to feel life abundantly. Your channel has changed my life for the better. Again, thank you.
The first time I watched The Leftovers, I was so obsessed with it, I spent more than a year thinking about it every single day. It's an amazing series.
“I may not fully understand you…..and because of that I may not be able to fully help you…..but I do know this……..I love you…fully,utterly,completely,selflessly, and without any complaints….so therefore I don’t need to understand you…..and I won’t be able to help you through everything……. But I can love you through everything”
So beautiful. Made a lot of my thoughts come to the surface. An ocean full of questions and answers, but it goes so deep and so far....We can never get that answer we need to better others and sometimes ourselves. Like mystery book that never gives you the conclusion. I love your work friend. I really enjoyed the leftovers. But I teared 😢 up and almost keep going when Steve Carell in the movie (Beautiful Boy) said, "I thought we were closer then most fathers and sons!" That almost broke me, because the father feels broken because he can't help his son and his son feels broken because he can't fix himself for himself or his father. Thank you "Stories Of Old" Goodnight. 💙
Having some trouble in love recently. Just found your videos/channel today. Has been a great comfort. I have been sharing them with S/O as I listen. We have been crying and talking together about them. Thank you.
Your videos are rare ones I revisit, share, and discuss. Thank you for your contribution, it is deeply touching and causes tremendous amount of self reflection.
I think that it would be impossible to be happy. You would never realize how good you have it since nothing would make you uncomfortable. It would be a bland colorless world.
You are truly gifted brother. Please keep moving forward on your journey and sharing your perspective with the world, because it's one of beautiful intention.
I want to thank you for the video, it happen now in a moment of my life where i am lost, empty, broken, that I don't understand. Thank you soo much, your video help me, open a scar, but make me understand it a bit better. Thank you so much for that moment you give me in a moment of need. "I still love you, even with what happen, still love you for now and forever, to a special little demon, a little corgitto, a little wombat, you little fox lady, the moon walker that make me dream, make me learn, make me better understand you in a way. I love you and still see you everywhere."
![[LIVE] : ONE ลุมพินี 87 วันนี้!! คู่เอก "ก้องชัย vs โชคปรีชา"](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/YN6e7HVnekw/mqdefault.jpg)
In my years, I learned that you can’t help people or fix whatever is going on. Only they can fix it, all you can do is merely be present and allow things to run their course and when the dust settles, maybe they will see your silhouette standing there. Waiting there in tears and love.
Yes yes yes!! It took me a long time to come to terms with this, not only having to pick up my own broken pieces (which seemed impossible) but feeling helpless in unable to ‘fix’ others. I feel like mindset is so powerful and we are all different in how we deal with our issues but you will heal as you grow as a result of your suffering. It’s so difficult but it’s also kind of reassuring knowing you are your own solution💗 I really hope I worded that okay haha, I find it hard putting deeper thoughts like this into words
very well said
All we can do is show them the correct path but they actually have to start walking
As a father who doesn't live with his kid who has taken a turn for the worse, I absolutely cannot believe this to be true. It would be irresponsible as a father...
You consistently create such wholesome, positive, and compassionate content - Every time I sit down to spend time with a new video here, I leave feeling vulnerable, loved, and accepted. I feel like you are meditating with me, and I am so grateful for these experiences and perspectives you share and extend. I wish you well
What he said...
Agreed 100%
I feel the same about this.
Thanks for putting it into words, what I feel everytime I sit down to see a new video from this channel :)
you worded it perfectly man
The irony of me hiding in the laundry room to watch this, because I am afraid to explain why I'm crying, is hitting pretty hard to be honest.
I don't know your life or experience, but I thought if you could show them this video they might understand it too.
Sorry if this is from an unknowing random person, I wouldn't know till I learn
Damn.
Who are you hiding from?
Same dear
I know it's been a whole year but I hope you've been well. ❤ Maybe this'll remind you of this video, and you'll come back for a refresher. I know it's helped me.
This video hit me like a truck. Just yersterday I was having a heart-to-heart with my girlfriend about her alcohol issues and how they negatively affect her life (and our relationship to a certain point), and at the end of it, I felt like I knew the real her just a little bit better, but the certain truth is that no matter what I do, I can't change those internal aspects of her, I can only remain by her side, offering my unconditional love and support, and hope that she will come to see the parts of herself that actively damage her, and be strong enough to make the choice to deal with them.
It's apart of human nature to self sabotage. Make sure that you don't sabotage yourself because of her actions. If she drowns in the bottle, you shouldn't have feel like you have to drown too.
Alcoholism is something else man…
like the video said my friend ''its not your fault''.
Be careful not to lose yourself as you stand by waiting for her to heal. You deserve to be happy, too, and sometimes that means having the courage to let go.
Sub use counselor here... if you are enabling her... leave. Tough love is hard but its real love! Unconditional support actually can be a problem with users!!!
It's criminal how little attention The Leftovers gets. It's easily the best show of the past decade, and one of the best of all time.
I agree 100%.
Absolutely 100%
a lot of the best shows got pass unnotice for some reason. mr robot for example it's also one of the best shows ever made and it barely gets mention. specially outside de us
I disagree that it's the best show of the past decade. I loved it but personally, I think Rectify takes that title. If you thought The Leftovers has the least amount of attention out of all the great shows, Rectify somehow has even less. I hope one day LSoO watches it and maybe does a video on it. Because it's really quite a poetic and beautiful show.
it is way too dark for general audience, most people watch shows/movies just to be entertained.
You have a very profound way of getting the viewer in a surreal, grounded state. I don't know how to explain it but I am very grateful for you
GOT ME CRYING IN THE MORNING!
Tears in coffee...
same :'(
"The freedom to make my own mistakes was all I ever wanted"
@@Chris-vs6ll Who are you? And what do you mean?
This man's work has the potential to save lives, or at least, help others to save themselves. Thanks for the gifts of context and perspective.
your biggest asset is your voice. it is so calming and serene, everything you say feels more profound and important. another great video my guy. keep going
I respect his sentiment but I disagree. Your voice is calming and serene but your biggest asset is your ability to carefully construct a video essay that gradually builds a coherent narrative. You string your ideas together magnificently and the clips you choose hammer in the emotion. This can't be easy. Thanks for pointing out the art. To Paradoxical Citizen, I mean no disrespect pointing this out. I imagine you simply wanted to call attention to his voice and not diminish his other qualities. Cheers.
I've loved your evolution as a creator. You went from exploring a specific idea within a specific film, to broader philosophical themes underlying a group of films or within the works of a filmmaker, to finding a form of personal expression by using clips from films that resonate with your own ideas. And the skills you've acquired along the way is very evident in how well the clips, music and the edit support the emotional highs and lows of your narration. Really looking forward to see you discover more of this beautiful form of yours. Thank you. Much love :)
Agreed with OP on all points.
This was incredibly well done.
The most powerful tool to help those you love is to simply listen. So much pain and suffering in this world comes from people simply not bothering to stop and actually listen to the pains and troubles of others, even when actively trying to solve them.
Thank you. This video perfectly articulated something that I've been trying to explain for a long time. I felt this way about a failed relationship with someone I thought I was supposed to save, but couldn't. Cried through the whole video.
❤️
Ditto - very much expressing the words I could not find to convey what my inner experience was and is
Absolutely. And I can't let go of how I was never meant to change them- I couldn't- no one can change another. I was supposed to love them as they are. Not in my own well meaning arrogance prresuming to know what another person needs and race them on a timeline not of their own and in a journey that it was not their decision to embark upon. I learned that I lost the person I love because I wasn't really loving him as he was at that moment. This hurt me and humbled me and I miss him to this day.
I live for merging my inner self with my outer self by projecting the inner self outwards as much as possible & having someone understand that inner self
I like that. 🙃
That's a good goal I think
Ayyyeeeeeee Death Does that too. :)
Watching this when I felt absolutely lost in my life and not knowing how to help my girlfriend out of depression has helped me way more than anything else, you are a true treasure on this platform
I don't know how you do it you are a master in your own freaking way man I don't even know how to explain it you have a way to bring a tear to my eye and I'm a pretty tough guy when I'm sober when I am not sober I can be pretty mushy but I tell the truth I want to thank you for everything you've done you've helped me in ways you will never understand I show your channel to everybody to help them if they're in need and your way of speaking definitely does that thank you again
Agree. Thank you.
Please do not say “you will never understand “ to someone who helped you understand 😉… at least don’t say never😄
I am struggling with these thoughts and this theme since 2017. This gave me Peace. I can't believe at the Perfection of the way you articulate your message in your videos. I am just glad for your channel being available to me.
Thank you. I don't have words to thank you and love you enough
🌼✨💖🌻🤗
Have a Good Life !
"Everything" is such a nice, universal word to end on. Cheers!
I've been in the roughest time of my life these last few days after telling the truth to someone I've hurted and now people know I'm not the person people always thought... i opened up myself to become so vulnerable that it really hurts and scares me but it is needed in order to keep going and move on. You have to pay the prices for your mistakes whether you realise it or not.
So touching. That sense of brokenness and helplessness is so intense but at the same time is so liberating, because there is no way out. At that moment, we should face who we are and recognize that we can not continue to keep the lie. We cannot blame others, we can't even think of guilts or merits. Unless we feel that other's wound is really our wound, we cannot comprehend others. We can only comprehend others in the extend we can comprehend ourselves and we can only help others in the extend we can help ourselves. This is compassion, love, openness and understanding. That's the only help we can really offer to others. If we recognize who we truly are, we see that it is beautiful, because it is true. In the end, the story doesn't matters anymore.
18:11 How can we expect anyone to understand us when we have a million thoughts a second and they try to empathise with you, but have a million thoughts themselves?
My son has been a meth addict for over a decade. The ache we feel for him only subsides when we love him just the way he is.
The most successful person I know is a meth addict. He enjoys life more than anyone else his age that I know. He is like a perpetual child who never grew up, he loves his remote control cars more than I love any non-person object. I envy him. I wish I was easily amused.
That closeness and knowing someone so well can also be what you hate about them. Such as every time they leave to "go to the store", you know that it's secretly just so they can get some more liquor.. or a lover who won't stop cheating and can never stop lying about everything-- but you stay because for now, your kid's childhoods mean more to you than your own happiness. When you know a person so well, that you know they are just lying to you yet again; you can come to hate who they are on such an intimate level, because you know exactly what kind of monster they really are inside, while the rest of the world only sees the lie.
Incredible. Again. You talked about how our inner selves must be communicated. They need to be funnelled and contorted into a verbal language which is spurted out and then received and unpacked -- often incorrectly -- by those we are attempting to communicate with. That is deeply, profoundly true. It is also the thing stopping me from expressing what your videos truly mean to me. I must communicate that sentiment through the woefully inadequate medium of the English language. But you create very, very special things. I feel lifted after every upload. Thank you.
I often realise this when I am missing the people I have lost over the years
The question that forever stumps me, is, "what would you say to them if you could see them one last time and you only have the time for one sentence"
I always think of a billion useless sounding half copied quotes about my love for them or the loss that we feel without them, or some weak sounding apology for my failure to save them or show them how much I loved them while they were alive, and still do
It is never enough.
I don't think you can convey what you feel too those who are no longer here anyway.
However, while they were here - I would never have said those junk words...I would, had I known what I know now - back then, have SHOWN them, that I truly respected who they were.
That the things they felt were valid and meaningful and worthwhile.
That they had shined a light on my world that no one else may be able to see ..... Yet that blinded me.
I would hold them more often without fear of rejection, or without taking the rejection personally if I was rejected.
I would have made them laugh more often
I would have laughed at the things they did to to try to make me laugh when I was a grumpy, every time.
I would never have missed a chance to watch the way they interacted with there kids or families or friends.
I would have realised the depth meaning and been filled with gratitude for having them invite me to participate an event That would allow me this insight.
I never would have let myself think that they were not loving me in the way that I wanted. As Though it was my choice and mine only how they express themselves to the world.
I never would have assumed that I was doing any better that their attempts of showing love - because, looking back, I most certainly was not.
I would have allowed for more fun.
Like .... Play.
I would have let go of my struggle to be "normal" and my wish to drag them into that sad ideal.
And instead , sat around doing nothing with them watching tv or baked chocolate cake, or made fun of each other and tried to trick each other with funny little pranks and jokes.
They seemed to find that important.
I never allowed the time to even consider it as a reasonable way to spend time until i lost those U loved.
Playing.... Laughing.... They ARE love.
They are what defeat the opposite anyway.
And if I could explain the above in one sentence to them I would, I would give almost anything to have the opportunity to just know they were still here, with opportunity and hope.
But I can't.
So now I choose to learn my lesson.
And I make sure I do all those things with the people who are still here, that I do love, that I will miss one day, or that will miss me.
I want to make sure neither of us must feel the loss anymore than we need to.
We won't have boring nights with the TV on and no communication, we won't have to look back on the ways we missed out on being there for one another, we won't have to hurt to the very core just because we never bothered to really stop and listen to the people we will one day miss.
At least no more than is necessary or appropriate.
I personally, make it my most important thing to do, every time we are together.... To allow their words to be as important as anyones , to show them that, to give them back what they offer and a little more to boot in the way of hugs and kisses, to be Concious of the inability to ever express the way I feel and vice versa.
And to attempt to , at least in some way, make up for that - by showing them instead.
This…lesson…I learn it again and again. But the compulsion to help. The ego that I think I can. I return to it like a comet whose path is governed by the gravitational pull of those a love. The thing broken in me…my “helping” no one in the end.
@@Chris-vs6ll What utter crap.
You take a discussion about intensely personal experiences with friends and family, and you try to make a *political* statement out of it?
Talk about missing the point....
You *cannot* control the choices other people make, and sometimes -- no matter what you do -- some of those individuals will make bad decisions.
They'll make self-destructive choices, and commit actions that harm themselves or (even worse) other people, and you may never understand why they think those thoughts, or do those things.
You can listen. You can offer good advice.
You can try to provide the best example you can, with your own life, about how more good choices than bad choices (and we *all* make bad choices, from time to time) can slowly help move life in a positive direction.
But you *cannot* save people who refuse to listen, who refuse to acknowledge the reality that their own bad, self-destructive choices will cause harm to themselves, and sorrow to others.
You do the best you can, and in most cases, it helps.
But you have to acknowledge that -- sometimes, for some people -- there's nothing you can do.
That's what's real.
@@Chris-vs6ll so you are taking all this space to fill it with all these words and then you are not interested in any conclusion? You just run away? Because that is what it feels like to me, you are trying to escape a pain that you conver up with all these ideas and arguments.
You Are helping yourself. And that is not selfish, who could you truly support, if you are not standing solid on two feet with your own strength? Who can you help if you yourself are in need of it? We do not have to sacrifice everything in order to give ourselves completely. We can only give what we are able to give, nothing less and nothing more. And so we learn and grow, as with every step we learn to give just a bit more. And what else matters?
@@Chris-vs6ll
I am a little confused how 'I took the original comment at face value, and responded with my very own opinions' meant your response was connected to the original comment.
The video, was very much that you cannot save those you love, as per the title, and the original comment is very much on the line of that essay the video considers. That no matter how much we want to help, how much we believe what is needed to help, those who we try to help cannot always be helped, and sometimes even when the help is accepted it can make the original problem worse.
This is caused (in LSoO's opinion, and in part in my opinion) by a lack of ability to communicate deep issues on both sides, a lack of intimacy before hand, knowing and understanding a person, their angelic side, their personal demons, or just their history. I could tell you I had a bad day at work, but that would not accurately convey what I mean even if using a photographic memory retelling of every action; What I felt, and my personal experience of that event are personal, because of the context at work, and my personal history, unrelated to the event, but deeply affecting my response to the event, and to be honest, no-one could because you are not me, in the same way that I am not you, and even our personal interpretation of the same event could be very different.
The original OP stated that they felt their need to help was egoistic, and sometimes caused pain through the process, and whatever the film 'A River runs through it' used to cause the original pain, was demonstrated that the help offered in the movie wasn't successful from the clips and narrative LSoO used.
I think AA use 'accepting I am an Alcoholic' as one of the steps, until someone sees they have a problem, and is aware of the help available and is willing to accept that help, whatever you do, I don't care what you believe, but that help, whether perfect or not, is absolutely useless and will in most cases do more harm.
As a very simple example, your friend has become addicted to Meth. They don't think its a problem, and wont accept your help to take them to drug rehabilitation. So, maybe I will threaten their dealer to stop supplying them. This is you helping, them not accepting that help and making it worse anyway, because if they didn't find another dealer seeing you as the cause and impediment, they will possibly have a come down that come down that kills. Well done, you've just fucked it up even more than it was on a response of not stopping helping them, you egoist.
@@Chris-vs6ll Okay, I find your responses disingenuous, intellectually dishonest, and mildly offensive.
Firstly, this is a *public forum*, and that means you DO NOT get to tell me what I can and cannot write, in response to whom.
So, I will respond as I see fit to what you wrote, and you don't get to tell me I cannot.
Secondly, you wrote, "The reality is you have the power, it’s those in power who want you to believe that you have zero power but that it’s okay and you’re blameless."
That's a political statement. Any human relationship built on power is, by definition, a political relationship.
I simply responded to what you actually wrote, and I found it wholly irrelevant. This whole video was about the difficulty we sometimes experience when we try to help those we love -- and love *is not* a political power relationship.
Finally, you wrote, "So I guess everyone is unreachable, unable to helped, and it’s bad if they harm anyone else other then themselves in their condemned pain...."
I NEVER wrote that. I never wrote anything like that.
What I *did* write was, "You do the best you can, and in most cases, it helps.
But you have to acknowledge that -- sometimes, for some people -- there's nothing you can do."
What part of that seems to you that I advocate avoidance of responsibility, or that I despair of ever being able to help anyone, and so won't bother to try?
Sometimes you can help. A lot of times, even. That makes it worth the attempt.
That's clear from what I wrote; yet you put words in my post that *I never wrote.*
You then posted two long rants arguing with something I never said.
Next time you want to engage in that form of wanking, get a room. Nobody else wants to see it.
Let's be clear. It's always worthwhile to try to help, because (frequently) it does help.
However, any help you offer comes to a dead stop if they exercise their right to refuse your assistance.
No matter how wise, or well-intentioned, our help may be, they have the *right* to say, "No" -- to tell you to back off and get lost.
If they make that choice, you can keep trying (and they can keep refusing); you can (eventually) accept that there's nothing left for you to do and what happens next is on them; or you can resort to physical coercion -- and, in so doing, pile the trauma of oppression on top of whatever they're already struggling with.
At no point did the author of the video ever say it's not worthwhile to try to help. However, this video focused on those particular instances where your offer to help is REFUSED.
People may, and some will, spurn your offer to help them, and you might never know why.
This video focuses on how hard that is to accept, when all we want is what's best for someone we love, and that person refuses the offer, and we never understand why.
I can save these videos I love, and that's a start.
I exhausted myself both mentally and physically always trying to fix others, especially those that wouldn’t particularly let me help them. This lesson was such a hard pill to swallow, but I believe you can’t help anybody. Only you can help you and you can only encourage and nudge other people in the right direction, then it’s up to them to chart their course💕
❤
LSOO, you have absolutely nailed this one. Bravo Brother.
The timing of these videos in my life never fails to amaze me
Little by little you show me that there’s likeminded individuals like you who create such wonder and knowledge that I can recognise in my own endeavours. You save parts of myself I didn’t know how badly I needed.
Thank you Tom.
I love that A River Runs Through It is such a grounding point for this video essay. I love that story so much that I moved to Hamilton MT (just south of Missoula) to be near Maclean's home. I am haunted by that story, and I love to imagine how Norman felt compelled, all those decades after his brother died, to tell Paul's story, to make sure that Paul was remembered for his spirit and beauty, not his flaws. This essay is one of my favorites from you. It speaks not merely to the human experience, but also to the power of film (and other art forms) to guide us in life, to show us that others have struggled and survived.
There was actually someone in my life who I loved more BEFORE understanding them completely. There came a point in my life when I did understand them completely, and it was at that moment that I realized I loved my perception of them more than them. Sometimes when you find out more about people, your love for them deepens, but other times, the more you find out, the more the façade begins to crack.
Your videos are a special form of therapy for me, man. The work you do is nothing short of a masterclass in evoking emotion and complete relatability among a vast audience that I truly hope continues to grow.
Listen to those you love. If you really want to help anyone, listen to them with absolutley no expectation to offer advice but only to make them feel understood.
I felt the need to cry today, so I returned to this video. I believe it is the most extraordinary video you have produced. This is a big claim considering the countless classics you have already uploaded.
You are without doubt my favourite video producer and I much prefer to watch your videos than the movies you base your videos on.
Regarding my watching this video in order to feel some repressed sadness - I cried within the first 10 seconds.
Thank you for your insight and for the evocative videos that you create 💙🙏
I signed up for a year of curiosity because of this video. My wife and I are going through some real heavy stuff right now; we're in crisis. This video really helped to soften my heart against what is going on right now. You've made an impact. Thank you.
I return to each video over and over, like listening to an old friend repeat an oft told tale and learning something new each time. Each visit takes my breath away.
I may have watched this five times. It just hits so many of the right chords, and is fluent and profound in what it expresses. What a contribution to society. Thank you.
A River Runs Through It…. ahh. An extremely under appreciated film. It almost innocently captures what it’s like to love those who won’t be reached and can’t explain themselves what is in them that keeps them near and far always.
The Leftovers is like no other show I've watched. A truly profound experience and I'm so glad you highlighted it and how it impacted you.
I was so close to crying multiple times watching this video. It's truly amazing how you can describe such a human experience and articulate the deep sense of tragedy and compassion.
I really enjoy watching your videos because of how you showcase a charitable and warm perspective on humanity. Cynicism is so easy to find, so it's really heartening to see your content. The world could use more people with your viewpoint on life.
I have been struggling with this for so long. Thank you for making this. I cried by the end of your video. I needed this and found it when I needed it. I hope people I love and care find what they can relate to and bring them peace. Love.
So glad The Leftovers got a shoutout. My favorite show, because no other show has given so much back to after watching it. I suggest it to anyone going through grief.
I read the title, and I'm already tearing up...
I miss you Aunt Tiffy.
This may be the finest of all of your incredible videos. Left me wrecked in the best possible way
I will admit that your channel helped me through dark times. You are a gem to all of us.
You've really out done yourself on this one. This is easily a top 5 work of yours. Amazing. Phenomenal. Cheers man.
Added to my favorites. The Leftovers will always be one of the greatest shows I've ever watched. Excellent work as always. You are a true gem.
You and me both brother, I was completely captivated by the leftovers. Towards the end of season 3 brought me to tears multiple times. The other great thing about the show was I knew nothing about it I didn't watch any trailers I didn't read a description. I just started watching and it took only the few minutes that I was like WTF! and the show never stopped with that, but sometimes the thing you think is about to happen doesn't and it's always left me wondering
Sometimes the internet gives me something I needed most by accident after the week I have had i needed this thank you...I'm not crying your crying
I somehow missed this video, but it showed up on my recommendations in such an amazing moment. I'm currently struggling with understanding my younger brother who keeps getting more and more distant, to the point of causing genuine concern. As the older brother and having recently lost our father, I feel the burden is on me, but this video helped me understand it is not. I cried with the "It's not your fault" montage, so thank you immensely for that.
Tom… thanks for this video. For any of us who have experienced these things in any way will find this video enormously, immensely helpful and soothing, even if we’re past these feelings. It’s hard to explain, but thanks so so so much.
I Love your channel. I discovered it while very sick in body in a hospital in Ireland. 16 September 2017. Thank you for helping me move out of pain and into accepting my troubled soul
So heartbreakingly beautiful; thanks for the cathartic cry. Your choice of scenes and narrative text, as usual, is sublime.
Whenever I feel down, all i need to do is watch, or rewatch, one of this channel's videos. They are such an important part of my life. Thank you for that.
I still think about The Leftovers quite often. It's a really special TV show.
You make me cry like no one ever could, ever reminding me of how overwhelming humanity is. Please never stop.
I’ve watched this at least ten times and it still hits me hard enough to draw a tear.
This is BY FAR the best video i ever watched. Years of content, but this one hits hard. I'm also very glad that i recognized almost all of the scenes. The Leftovers is a timeless masterpiece indeed. Amazing, brilliant content!
You're passing on stories that souls who listen can never forget. Yet another amazing video, and crying session.
This video made me feel and cry, I’ve been in this slow long bicycle ride of thinking through a breakup and growing up and loneliness for the last five years and this, this helps
This video wount leave me. I keep coming back to it
Thank you @Like Stories of old chanel God bless you. I just lost my wife with a long illness, watching this video make me understand so many things that I couldn't understand till I see this essay, keep making this type of videos, you will be reword greatly in this life and in the other one 🙏
You capture qualities, depth and nuance many miss and communicate it beautifully through your videos. Appreciate your work❤️
So happy to see that you're including The Leftovers as one of the best TV shows you've seen. I think the same. It's probably the TV show that saved me from my depression. I think everyone should watch it once in their life. I just don't get why it didn't have more plp watching it.
Yeaah! it made me very happy also. The Leftovers is wonderful and terrible and deep and so absolutely f..... beautiful tv show. Every chapter one punch inch to your heart. I would love if he decided to do and essay only for "The Leftovers"
I'm always left in awe after watching your videos. Somehow, whenever I come across one on my feed, it is the message I need to hear at that precise moment. Even when it doesn't seem like it would fit, it does. I am full calm and of new understanding. Thank you, for all that you do.
Beautiful description of life and challenges we all face if we choose to.
These videos you have made has helped me through many tough times.
My youtbe favourites is just turning into a playlist of your videos. Thank you for all the time you put into these.
This video essay brought me to tears. Thank you for making this.
Your content always seems to be there when I need it most. Thank you.
Every time I come to this channel to watch a video of yours I open up, I tend to cry and I am reminded of the beautiful things in my own life. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
What a beautiful, insightful essay. The emotions in your narration gives the concept and ideas another profound layer of depth. Thank you for creating and sharing.
I saw the title to this video and avoided watching it for weeks because I didn’t want to know the answer, or even acknowledge that it was a valid point. Powerful and moving video. Wisdom.
My father was an alcoholic and drug addict. He was homeless for many years and contracted tuberculosis. I loved him very much even though he abandoned us. I forgave him regardless of the mistakes he made. I tried so hard to help him when I became an adult and he simply didn't want it and was in denial. A lot of my family members tried to help him in vain. Unfortunately he died 8 years ago. His body finally succumbed to the decades of abuse he put it through. It was a harsh lesson to learn that no matter how much you love someone you can't help them if they don't want it. I'm not religious and I don't know what happens when we die, but I just hope he's at peace and no longer in pain.
I need a warning at the beginning of these videos, because sometimes my heart can't take such jolts.
Man, your videos are just something else. Pretty much every time they make me cry. You do what we despperately need in this profane world. Thank you, with all my heart!
I haven't even watched it yet, but I already love it.
Thanks Tom. I constantly worry about friends, and after the passing of my mother this year, I also feel for my fellow family members all the time. I'm a quite co-dependent person who struggles with depression, anxiety, and paranoia, and I constantly want help validation, and affirmation from others. I bounce from wanting more concern from loved ones to being afraid of making them worry too much. Something my grandma told me is "people do what they want to do and they dont do what they dont want to do" as she explained how spending your life trying to help someone by changing them is a fruitless road. I feel myself with age more and more needing to develop a healthier relationship with myself, and needing to feel less yearning towards being validated by more and more people, and value the strong relationships I already have and make them stronger. While watching this video it made me think of how important it is for me to have good relationships with the people I care about the most, and how much energy ive put into new ones, that maybe I only started to make myself feel better or more liked or more safe.
Absolutely compassionate analysis of life , love and the things we are unable to comprehend , love is not always a panacea , but it is all we have and it is enough, sometimes beyond the regret , the betrayal, the hurt , beyond everything is the purity of having loved . its all we have .
I think no other TH-cam video has ever made me cry before. You have no idea how much this helped me. Thank you.
Never thought I'd feel my heart wrenched outta my chest by Steve Carrell, what a performance
This is one of the most beautiful video essays I have ever seen
By far, the best series of critical analysis on how art communicates life.
One of your best video's yet. Beautiful.
It seems that every video you make eventually gets me to cry.
Leftovers is probably my favourite tv show of all time. The feels man...
I just got out of a relationship with someone who had severe PTSD and this video helped a lot. You can't fix people until they're willing to themselves.
I've watched this so many times I've lost count. It keeps me on a true course, it reminds me of what I find beautiful, and put into words such a profound feeling and experience. This has saved my spiritual life already, and I know it will continue to do so. It's so beautiful I've started rehearsing it so that I can speak these truths in social situations when they might be able to comfort someone else.
Why do I get eyes full of tears every time I see one of your videos. You are not a content maker, you are a school of life, teaching.
Each time you upload a new video I love this channel even more. Thank you so much for the wise lessons and profound experiences you have given me all these years. This is my favorite TH-cam channel because each time I see one of your videos I'm reminded of what it is like to feel life abundantly. Your channel has changed my life for the better. Again, thank you.
The first time I watched The Leftovers, I was so obsessed with it, I spent more than a year thinking about it every single day. It's an amazing series.
“I may not fully understand you…..and because of that I may not be able to fully help you…..but I do know this……..I love you…fully,utterly,completely,selflessly, and without any complaints….so therefore I don’t need to understand you…..and I won’t be able to help you through everything…….
But I can love you through everything”
So beautiful. Made a lot of my thoughts come to the surface. An ocean full of questions and answers, but it goes so deep and so far....We can never get that answer we need to better others and sometimes ourselves. Like mystery book that never gives you the conclusion. I love your work friend. I really enjoyed the leftovers. But I teared 😢 up and almost keep going when Steve Carell in the movie (Beautiful Boy) said, "I thought we were closer then most fathers and sons!" That almost broke me, because the father feels broken because he can't help his son and his son feels broken because he can't fix himself for himself or his father. Thank you "Stories Of Old" Goodnight. 💙
Having some trouble in love recently. Just found your videos/channel today. Has been a great comfort.
I have been sharing them with S/O as I listen. We have been crying and talking together about them.
Thank you.
Your videos are rare ones I revisit, share, and discuss. Thank you for your contribution, it is deeply touching and causes tremendous amount of self reflection.
I have watched this so many times already, and know I will watch it again. So beautifully done, so thoughtful, so profound. Thank you for what you do.
Because the world can be cruel like that, if it was paradise you won't ever be at ease because you realise things are to good to be true.
I think that it would be impossible to be happy. You would never realize how good you have it since nothing would make you uncomfortable. It would be a bland colorless world.
You are truly gifted brother. Please keep moving forward on your journey and sharing your perspective with the world, because it's one of beautiful intention.
I want to thank you for the video, it happen now in a moment of my life where i am lost, empty, broken, that I don't understand.
Thank you soo much, your video help me, open a scar, but make me understand it a bit better. Thank you so much for that moment you give me in a moment of need.
"I still love you, even with what happen, still love you for now and forever, to a special little demon, a little corgitto, a little wombat, you little fox lady, the moon walker that make me dream, make me learn, make me better understand you in a way. I love you and still see you everywhere."