Hoarding (Understanding Hoarders and Hoarding Disorder)
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 21 ก.ย. 2024
- Hoarding and Hoarders in this episode of Ask Teal explores the psychology around Hoarding and what creates the mindset around this. Teal Swan explores the relationship between Hoarders and their things, piles and hoards. You may be surprised about what you learn about Hoarders.
Video References
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Teal Swan is a revolutionary for personal transformation and is one of the Most Spiritually Influential Living People in the world. As a renowned author, speaker and social media star, she travels the world teaching self-development and teaching people how to transform their emotional, mental, physical and spiritual pain.
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Three years in therapy - and this video is the first time I've felt understood.
@Sandra Kippert Every time I hear this, it goes right past me. As though it belongs to the human realm.
But I can hear compliments as an object - I can enjoy being beautiful or useful for someone's purposes. Until, of course, they discard me.
It's very hard to begin to understand what "love and respect" means when you're not even in the dimension where those are real functions.
ipeklofijs +1. I see a painful difference between teal's understandable teachings, and the not-understandable teachings of current psychotherapy. i have wasted some years of my life, too.
@Mr. F8888
When your head is full of theory and you're guarding your heart from empathizing with your client, it is hard, I assume, to feel the way out of where they are - together, instead of shaming them towards what is gonna be a better place in theory (and such a brave and lonesome triumph of all-conquering will).
That's where the feminine energy of Teal feels so, so sweet and complimentary to all that rough bitterness.
Lol x
saw this comment at 111 likes awe
Teal, I am a therapist specializing in hoarding disorder. I am thoroughly impressed with this video. How you touched on attachment theory for hoarding is straight forward and understanding. Object relations is also brilliantly addressed. Proprioceptive insight is addressed also.Trauma insight as well?? Awesome. Addiction addressed, you're covering it ALL! Negative reinforcement, cool! Clean up with compassion, YES!!! Beautiful. Thank you so much!
I hope she sees this someday! Great comment
This touched me deeply. My Grandmother is a horder when it comes to decoration. She grew up in WWII in Germany. She has lost her physical parents, then grew up in a orphanage and lost her adoptive parents to cancer. I finally understand why she is the way she is and have so much compassion. Thank you, Teal!
laconiaify I feel like giving her a hug 💜
@@gianna8224 Me too 💝
I am a therapist and have attended many trainings about hoarding and this is the only one that actually has meaningful substance.
Thank you for your testimony. Why wouldn’t official healthcare training providers learn from Teal? I think I have the answer…
Next do minimalists. Someone said they have parents that were Hoarders. It’s true in my case!
True for me. I feel so sorry for my mother and my father who lives within her stuff. There is no way to help her. I feel her spiriling out when I so much as mention chipping away at the over accumulation :(
I would like to see that too. These empty homes kind of creep me out when I'm in one.
A traveller entered the home of a wise one and found that there was no furniture, not even a chair to sit on. The wise one was sitting contently on the floor in the middle of the empty living room. The traveller sat before him and smiled, asking, where is all your furniture? The wise one replied, Where is yours? I have no furniture, I'm just a traveller. As am I, the wise one said.
I’m a minimalist at heart. I get a kick or a thrill throwing something out. I wouldn’t say that comes from hoarder parents though, probably comes from wanting control over my environment.
Nicola Kruger yeah I see it more as a control thing. The ones I know are compensating for being out of control in other area(s)
Yes, this! I always thought my hoarding was for protection, to keep everyone away & if, anyone tried to get inside, they'd run off, either in disgust or just because they couldn't get in. I also, figured, it was from my childhood traumas and depression. I always think everything has feelings, so, I don't want to "hurt" it. I can let most "trash" go, boxes, actual garbage, but, I have to take it across the street to a dumpster, I feel like everyone is watching me, I feel anxious, paranoid & embarrassed, being exposed, out in the open. I hate that feeling. I have no friends, no relationships, the only humans I talk to is my dr, but, they don't care or listen, only use what they were taught in college, 20+ years ago, no actual experience & my mom. She always says, let me in & I'll clean out your house in a day, no matter how many times I tell her, it won't help me. I need to do this myself. I have to know why or I will just keep doing it, over & over again. Now, I have to re-watch, this time more closely & take notes...
I don't hoard but I'm a binge eater and damn can I relate
What you are doing is VERY brave and important! You deserve appreciation for your courage of self-awareness. You have a treasure inside you to discover and share with the world.
😢🙏🕊️🙏
I'll tell you why you do it. You do it because you feel a void and you feel inferior so you self-trash but it serves as a way to test and keep people either in or out of your life for good.
Because to be with a hoarder is to accept being with a disgusting person that had no respect to accomodate others. Since hoarders have no self-respect they don't respect anyone that enters their lives. People that trash themselves always trash others.
My mum is like this, I’m sure she was emotionally neglected and so was I as a consequence. When I moved out I started accumulating stuff and now 6 years later I’m nearly done with a massive clearout. But with me I think it’s that I was so desperate to build a life of my own by moving out I wanted the stuff to make it my own and not to do with my claustrophobic family home, literally and psychologically. It’s weird that the same kind of buzz you get from getting new things comes from clearing them out too so that you can truly value the things that you keep.
I never knew someone else could understand me better than I understood myself! I am going to begin my recovery and take back control of my stuff, my self-worth and my life. Thank you Teal.
Time to clean up all the stuff! I have a tendency to hoard, when the shelves start falling that is my clue! I moved 20 times by the time I was 20 years old, and lost everything when I was 13 years old with the Algerian war! I understand myself a lot more now after watching this video. Thank you Teal for taking the time to make us understand so many things about ourselves, much appreciated! ❤️☀️
🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
everything is on the internet. keep throwing your crap away.
I'm not joking.
only useful tools should be kept.
Seems to me that your challenge is with clutter ,as apposed to actual hoarding . An OCD hoarder cannot simply "Clean up all the stuff " as it is a complex challenge with many layers including complex emotional components . When one has clutter ,one finds that although not easy ,they can actually manage to release the objects they have collected .
VERY COMPASSIONATE, have not considered that perspective
My mother tried to clean my apartment and dumped loads of stuff and piled everything in the door way it was soooo traumatizing !!! I screamed at her to get out of the house
I hoard informations from Teal's videos. I know they'll serve me.
Collecting is not hoarding
Its a little different because you are not keeping it for yourself and you will help others with it if it allows you to heal and be a more conscious person.
(:
I wish I had this video 10 years ago. It’s given me so much sympathy for my ex husband and his mother. I lived with 2 hoarders for 10 years. It was so traumatizing for ME, that now I have resistance to having anything. I felt like I was physically DROWNING in their stuff. Now I live in a tiny house, I hate clutter, to the point I feel like I have OCD, and I even have resistance to money. I’m trying to manifest abundance and wealth, but I’m resisting it bc abundance makes me feel like I’m drowning. I wish I could save some money, invest some money, have a bigger house for my kids, but I’m resisting it.
Thank you Teal for this illuminating video. 💜
Thank you for this rare content
This video is DEFINITLY one of a kind!!! As are most of her videos. ❤❤❤
Since I am a chipmunk I am definitely a hoarder, just like any other chipmunk.
Thank You Teal for being in this world, thank you for making us understand trauma so we can develop compassion. Amazing, as always! 😘
You know. My mother is a hoarder. She's getting better now, with the connection between her and I growing stronger by the day.
But honestly. Growing up like this--with a shitton of other variables that caused me so much suffering--I'm not even at the stage right now to step into a hoarder's shoes. Actually, "a hoarder's," shoes, because I hoard physical things as well, and probably other mental and emotional things as well.
It is. So fucked up. Growing up in this environment. I cannot even begin to describe anything that happened, what daily life was like. It almost killed me. It really did.
This is not to say I condemn anyone. Just to share my current perspective.
When my neighbour died, 5 truck loads of 'crap' were removed from his house. He walked around in rags, and drove an old car.
He was worth 3 million.
@penn707 ok, then
That's very shocking.
Yes, we had a man like that here too, only ate bread with sugar his whole life, horrible smell from his house, he had cats with parasites,,, 100 bucks that he had parasites himself,even if we never talk about that anymore... in my childhood we had 2 parasite courses a year, just to be sure
Anyway, this man looked liike a homeless frozen Dude
When he died his net worth was close to 4 million, but.... the house had to be burned, the smell... noone could live there
@@itsmeGeorgina. That's crazy.
Georgina Sandnes what council allows a house to be burned? It is illegal where I live in Australia. Smoke is toxic to the environment. We demolish houses.
hoarding is similar to obesity in a manner, isn't it? massively holding on to something in order to stay secure and safe and held
Padding to protect you
I see it
Also identifying with the bad foods you eat because they’re comforting and give momentary pleasure and safety from the outside world
@@jonwigfall Yes it feels like love. I recently got into designer imitation perfume oils which take some "weight" off my food habits literally haha. The love has to come from somewhere or we feel like we can't survive.
Never been obese, a needy female, or obsessed about collecting goodies, so it's difficult for me to empathize.
I just thought About how valuable These Videos are. I Always knew that all people are basically hoarding Things, for example I am hoarding the amount of spiritual Knowledge About all those interesting subjects teal talks About right now because this amount of Information gives me a sense of security. I don't know someone with a extreme hoarding behavior but if I ever meet one I have a much deeper understanding for them.
Please share it with counselors akd therapists
I think agoraphobia is a form of safety energy and space hoarding. Id love you to do a video on agoraphobia and learned helplessness.
Fascinating video. I know of at least three hoarders in my neighborhood. The homes are a disaster, not only crammed with junk, but filthy, and rat infested. What a way to live! So sad. Humans all do have a bit of this, I notice, that we get attached to objects because someone gave it to us, or we had it since a child. One of my favorite things to do is take a few hours, put on a good podcast and declutter and fill bags to take to the Goodwill. I do this about every 4 months. It's so freeing, and makes me feel light.
screw this planet. all the crap can go
I hoard books.
Its always nice to wake up to one of your vids, Teal. Very relaxing on the weekends.
MayaPaya I do tooo!!
Me too! And i just realized it because of your comment 😅...
Yes, me too. That's what I was thinking watching this video.
@SECTUAL 100% agree
I was thinking I don't hoard anything and then teal was like we all hoard to some extent and then I saw your comment and the penny dropped. 😂 Joking aside, I used to read lots but the books I've hoarded I've hardly read many and it's sad. 😐
A very empathetic and diverse take on hoarding 💚
Hoarding is a completely natural instinct!! Our hunter/gatherer ancestors needed to hoard in order to survive. And the media encourages us to collect, collect, collect. In extreme hoarders, this instinct has gone haywire, but it didn't necessarily start in a bad place.
I “level 2” hoard everything. It’s not like you see on TV, but it does create problems for me. This video just connected all my dots... explained and illuminated the underlying drives of everything I’ve always felt - but couldn’t identify. All of it. Thank you for finally making this video. Naming these different drives will help me now address them. had a treasured blankie my mom took when I was 7 and threw away. She told me she put it down the garbage disposal and laughed when I cried.
Omg! BAM! That must be the reason I love buying new bedding and comforters but never use them. Ugh...You just saved me therapy.
L Fox - oh wow, that’s sad
God, you are brilliant. I just want to soak all the information you got in. I study psychology and your videos are so much deeper than everything I learn at uni. Please never stop making videos !
I was very organized before marriage. I started hoarding when my husband told me he stopped loving me. After giving birth, then divorcing, it became more intense. It keeps people out,but my teenage children are not happy with how the house looks. Thank you for your insight, very helpful 😍
Magazines, make up! Clothes! Meds, supplements, cleaning products, scarfs, hats,belts,purses, books! Um, can't remember what else, oh fashion jewelry! Well I JUST organized my closet, but will do it AGAIN
We must share the same place lol
Gets you to cry around minute 4:30. Hits the nail on the head around minute 12:00 Teal Swan is one of the first “youtubers” I stumbled on before I knew what a “youtuber” was around 7ish years ago. This video is a knock out of the park.
Got a few hoarders in my circle. Buried in junk. It breaks my heart. Thanks for helping me understand it on a new level.
Buried in piles of lovable love ❤️ actually.
@@enriquerivas8578 No buried in junk. Seriously what's wrong with these people
Calamity James : they like their junk, you can fight it or help them get more junk, your choice 🙂
@@enriquerivas8578 Or leave them swimming in junk, seriously I would never seek to help such a sick person I'm not even sure it's possible.
Calamity James : Try to make them interested in the idea of open spaces, free flowing and clean housing , minimalist lifestyle, and maybe embracing a bigger, warmer, family nucleus instead of possessions as substitutes of affection. Sell them on the idea, like a hermit crab 🦀when it finds better shell 🐚
This really helped me to understand myself and a loved one who hoards things. I'm going to be much more careful with what I say to the two of us from now on. Thank you for making this, Miss Teal. I hope you know what a gem you are.
I'm not a hoarder hoarder, but I'm probably on the spectrum. I recently started using Freecycle to start my purging process. It's nice because the person genuinely wants the thing you're giving away vs your dropping it at Goodwill and wondering who, if anyone, will take it and how will they care for it.
Still, when I gave away my first item, an old weight bench that I had in fact used in the recent-ish past until I concluded that it's not really safe to do bench presses with no one else present, it gave me a lot of anxiety.
When the guy came to pick it up, I literally shed tears and had to hug it. I told him I knew it looked weird but that it had been with me for so long and through many moves and it felt like I was giving away a puppy. He said oh yeah no worries, I get it. But I doubted he did.
About an hour later, he texted me saying thanks again for the bench. He said he was a physical therapist and had a patient who couldn't get to therapy because of covid and needed the bench to do his exercises. He said the guy was going to be really grateful, as was he. That made me so incredibly happy. I still feel a bit nostalgic for the bench but now I know that someone else loves it now too, instead of it sitting in a landfill or being melted down.
It's still hard for me to part with things due to the emotional attachment, but it's a bit easier when something goes to a grateful recipient. I still need to work on the root cause, though.
This was really helpful for my greater understanding of a loved one. Thank you Teal. ❤️🙏
I'm a proud horder of my writings.. pen & paper.. diary+ for +45 years. Nothing else.
May be of value for someone else sometime.. but prolly only to me in this lifetime. 💌
Amazing!
I always loved trash. Garbage just feels like a treasure-trove. Like the me than nobody has ever cared to get to know.
I'm not at all a hoarder, but I absolutely LOVE to take trash/waste and make something beautiful with it. I've often wondered why this is so appealing to me and think it might be something along the same lines.... In my case, feeling that everything has value if we only have the eyes to see it... and the willingness to give it a little "nudge" of support in the direction of it's higher expression.
@@macoeur1122 That sounds like a transcendence of that basic worthlessness. In a sense, creation always requires resources. And when you're creating from trash, it is pretty much Creation out of Nothing. Sounds wonderful to me ;)
In a word: brilliant! Now I finally and fully and compassionately understand why my father (RIP) hoarded and never managed to part with anything. Thank you!
translation: he was a brain broken loser who couldn't grow up
Thank you, Teal. Now I understand better of what happened with me :) Used to be a hoarder, although not in the extreme scale. Did it since I was a kid, with various stuff. Felt joyful when last year finally able to let go of my gazilion make-up items that I didn't even use. Saíd thank you to each and every eyeshadow palettes that I had, because once it brought me some sort of "happiness".
My loved ones are hoarders so I clicked this so fast lol
Same
My dad :(
I have some I know hoard... My fear is to do the same... "I" binge and purge. I take in, get frustrated, than get rid of things. Never to hoarding point... But, with garage, I've had a couple boxes of ... Junk. I dumped those recently to Goodwill... Still have small box of cords
Yep
I made him take care of it now and I don't care anymore already (because it's his stuff now) so either way I am freeeeee :D!
Hi Teal, and to anybody else that is intetested. Here is my story. :
I am a hoarder... and I come from generations of hoarding. I don't even know how far back it goes. My grandmother was a hoarder... my mom and all her sisters are hoarders... and all the kids (grandkids) from those sisters are hoarders... and now all the great grand kids are hoarders....and now... i can already see the great great grandkids developing this hoarding habit as young children.
With all this being said... I don't seem to personally identify with any of the traumas you have mentioned to CAUSE this behavior. I could just be missing something... but I feel I've had a really loving, caring and full childhood. I do agree that I feel sentimental attachments to about 75% of everything and the other 25% that I hoard because I feel everything has a future use, or can be recycled or re-purposed in some way... with all these grand plans to do so some day, that never seem to happen. Haha i also hate the thought of adding to landfill... which is why i want to re purpose everything.
Now with THAT being said... I DO see how traumas you've mentioned could have caused this behavior with my grandmother and her 3 daughters, as my mom and her sisters all had very traumatic childhoods with abuse and neglect, being raised by my grandmother on her own after leaving an abusive husband. So everything you mention seems to apply to my mom and my aunt's and my grandmother, but with all us grand kids, great grand kids and even now the great great grand kids... could we just be products of inheriting this behaviour from our elders... as all 3 sisters were able to break the chain of trauma and abuse... and give all us kids better lives... in turn we have given our kids better lives... and now our kid's kids are having better lives... and though the hoarding is improving with each generation... it is still very much there... and a problem.
On a positive and interesting note... I am with an AMAZING women who is helping me gain control over my hoarding issue... and this video litetally came out the day after we spent an entire day cleaning out my basement.
It was very emotional and difficult for me... but she NATURALLY handled it in the exact way you described it should be handled. She was very caring, compassionate, understanding, supportive and sweet AND PATIENT during the entire process through the entire day. She was loving... she didn't make me feel sick or embarrassed or wrong once. She went through everything... and listened to my stories about everything... the plans I had for things... that I've excepted will never happen. Haha. She even appreciated things we were discovering together... which even made some things fun. As we were completing the process... she validated the progress we were making... even when it was slow or almost stopped... and she didn't invalidate me when it did. She didn't push me to discard anything I was absolutly against... and allowed me to set it aside to confront in the future... but gently continued to guid me along the way without frustration. She made me feel loved and understood in a way nobody has ever been able to do, and I found a love for her that I've never had for anybody before... and a love for her on another level that I never knew was possible.
It takes a special person to help a hoarder over come their situation... and my gf has become my hero. Tomorrow we're attacking my garage... and I'm actually looking forward to it!!!
Thank you for this video... It IS one of a kind... and all your videos... as they are unlike anything out there and help so much!!!
After cleaning my basement with my gf... I realized even more how special she is... and now after you explaining the type of person needed to help a hoarder... I realized EVEN MORE how special she is... so thank you for that too.
I hope my story was able to help somebody further... if anybody manages to actualy read it. Haha
❤❤❤
Just curious. Do you think that the previous hoarders that came before have unintentionally caused trauma starting at birth onward by putting their treasured items first and foremost, but being born into this pattern it just feels "normal", and is a perpetual cycle? I know most children of hoarders feel that the parents belongings are more important than they are to the parent, and that causes a lot of pain for them.
@@Theantinarc thank you for your comment. But I don't feel that way. Birth my parents were very loving and attentive... and the stuff didn't completly surround or burry us... but we did have rooms that were full of stuff being saved for no reason.
But I definitly didn't feel second place you the stuff. However... having the idea that it is normal way of loving... it's a possibility
Finally an explanation on the root of hoarding, not simply hoarder profiles or how they assess objects they want to keep. Took a while to sift through all the hundreds of videos and find one with this in depth perspective. Thank you!
Teal s insight holds much truth , however there is always more truth to discover . I am a hoarder and some of my reasons for hoarding are different . I am still working my way through releasing my massive hoard ,whilst also developing some new ways to help hoarders release . I use esoteric measures ,plus I offer practical tools .
This completely blew my f**ing mind. May I say I’m proud of Teal
Wow i hoard, wigs, perfume and sneakers and tarot cards,..I'm lonely too. And have relationship ptsd.
Im organized and never keep anything raggedy
I love tarot cards, hoodles of them...
wow, the Great Spirit is good. I just happened upon this video , not searching for this type of content or even thinking about it but coincidentally for the past 5 months I've been helping an elderly woman with her animals (she doesn't hoard animals) and rides to the grocery store, I didn't even know she was a hoarder until just recently she gained enough trust in me to allow me inside her home to show me that she's a hoarder of anything and everything from the Shopping network on TV, and she's asking me to help her get rid of the stuff and clean it!! thank you, I needed to hear this. the Creator has given you good medicine. Wetsadoligi (bless you)
I’m a “binge and burge” type of person. As a child I was deprived of things. So I started hoarding everything - trash, feathers from outside, toys I no longer played with. As an adult, I became really anxious with that and threw everything away.
Sometimes I hoard new things. Other times I will feel disgusted with my things and throw them away. Then I hoard again.
It’s like a bi-polar disorder. I also get that way with my moods.
This explained the avoidant attachment style / disorder of hoarders so well. At one point I had to pause to take it all in shocked on how all my traumas and issues tie into each other. The jellyfish/child metaphor hit home about a family member with Borderline Personality Disorder that I grew up having fight or flight panic attacks when around do to PTSD from abuse related to them. I had no idea that irrational need to run/hide from that person was related to my hoarding (I say "irrational " because that family member is no longer a threat to my safety) Though I've known in the back of my head having trash covering my floor makes me feel safer because it creates an obstacle course if someone wanted to come harm me. Its definitely protective padding against the dangerous outside world. Because of my Avoidant Attachment I have issues prioritizing spending time with friends, family, or dating but I never understood why. This was so impressive and one of the best materials I've found on hoarding since beginning my healing journey. I especially was happy to learn what my connection to actual trash is, since most hoarding info talks about clutter / excessive possessions not the filth aspect. I. E. keeping actual trash in disarray piles with items of value.
This video feels so cozy, i will hoard it.
This one blew my mind. My sister and mom have a hoarding problem. Because of this I kind of grew up being a minimalist before i even knew this was a term or a movement. I never understood the psychology of WHY. I always just deflected and thought, well they're just not conscious enough, and holding onto something tangible because they feel they are missing something inside. I didnt understand hoarding beyond this. I thought me trying to point it out and try to help them would be beneficial, but as you have said, it just reinforced their coping strategy and further separated us. Connecting me and my sister's past trauma, I can now totally see why she is this way. I have a completely different outlook on it now. Mind you hoarding, the material world, consumerism, minimalism, spirituality and our relationship with things is all a huge part of my life. Seeing you of all people post this about hoarding is so eye opening for me, as I just got into a huge fight with my mom and sister about this very thing today. I came into this video thinking of a new way to approach their hoarding problem and trying to help them resolve it, but am now left feeling like I have to completely dissolve this way of thinking and let them know that I am here to be in their perceived reality and that they are not a problem that needs to be fixed. Thank you.
They are. You just accepted being disrespected. You are now willfully below an object in value.
Ok 😊 thanks for your input Internet stranger
@@WendeeG if you need help I can show you the way. After 20 years+ of living with a hoarder mother I've managed to entice her to cleaning and sorting her items.
My uncle passed away and it turned out that the reason no one had been allowed to come to his house for many years was that he was a hoarder. I was hoping Teal might have done a video on this topic - thank you so much for helping me understand this. ❤
I learned from your explanation to value and try to see value/meaning of everything in this world simply b/c of their existence (rather than disregarding them as not having any value). Thank you!
Personal experience/self reflection: one parent is a hoarder, I was once, then changed to be a minimalist & feel good but distanced from my parent. Now I understand both ways are just coping mechanism of some past trauma. This helps me understand both ways and try to stay in balance with compassion for self and others for the different behaviors. 💙
So true, so often someone without understanding brings judgement correction blame n shame. I can relate to so much in this video. Mine comes from fear and trauma, a place of lack and having experienced repeated bereavement and as a result a home too. when u have no control of where u might live next, and having no one close in your life u can turn to, yes stuff becomes the one thing u can rely on.
Ich bin gerade so dankbar für dieses irgendwie wunderschöne, einfühlsame Video. Es hilft mir gerade so sehr, mich selbst zu verstehen.
Das meiste darin stimmt tatsächlich genau so wie es beschrieben wird.
Ich bin auch eine Horterin.
Nur, dass ich eben keinen Müll horte, sondern so viele Bücher, Prospekte, Kleidung, Pflegeprodukte, MakeUp, CDs, heile Möbelstücke und haltbares Essen und Geschirr. Meinen Müll entsorge ich noch regelmässig ...
Das einzige was in meinem Falle nicht stimmt, ist dass ich keine zwischenmenschlichen Beziehungen führe.
Ich habe sehr viele Freunde, und kann Menschen ebensowenig loslassen wie geliebte Gegenstände.
Ich lege auf alle lieben Menschen, die mir begegnen, einen enorm hohen Wert. Und das sind so viele Menschen, dass ich es gar nicht schaffe, mich regelmässig um alle zu kümmern.
Die Ursachen bei mir liegen wohl vor allem darin, dass man mir als Kind geliebte Gegenstände zerstört und weggeworfen hat um mich zu bestrafen, oder aus Zorn.
Ich wurd zur Strafe auch oft alleine in meinem Zimmer gelassen, und mir wurde alles, was mir gehört, weggenommen.
Und ich wurde auch viel gehasst, und litt unter viel Liebesentzug, ausgelöst durch einen intrigierenden Lebensgefährten.
Dennoch erkenne ich irgwndwie, dass das Horten zu einem Problem wird. Und ich weiss noch nicht wie ich es lösen kann. In meiner Wohnung herrscht sogar eine gewisse Verletzungsgefahr durch Stolperfallen ...
Ich bin einfach geprägt von Verlustsängsten.
Sowohl der Verlust von Gegenständen, als auch Menschen.
Ich wurde schon oft verlassen, und auch geliebte Menschen sind verstorben.
Ich würde unbedingt gerne meine volle Wohnung organisieren und Stück für Stück etwas loslassen, damit ich mich zuhause etwas wohler fühlen kann und ich mich vor Besuch nicht mehr so schämen muss.
Und gerade stürzt das alles auf mich ein, weil ich mir auf dem Weg zur Arbeit den Arm gebrochen habe und jetzt nach den Operationen und der Heimkehr alleine hier sitze und nicht viel machen darf, meinen linken Arm nicht belasten darf. Und jetzt fühl ich mich etwas hilflos.
Und einer meiner besten Freunde brachte mih nachhause, sah meine Wohnung, und war sofort besorgt - total süss von ihm - und ich schöme mich gerade nur noch in Grund und Boden und habe Angst, dass dieser Anblick das Bild verzerrt, das man von mir hat.
Again Teal. A whole new perception and a great explanation. You are awesome!!🌹👍🤩.
Wow! There’s a lot to absorb here. I had to watch and rewatch this video to understand and appreciate the issues behind my hoarding behavior. Thank you for your clear and lucid explanations and for helping me to identify with what’s going on beneath the surface. I clearly came from a dysfunctional family where unconditional love was virtually nonexistent and human relationships were not to be trusted. I never made that connection to hoarding until now.
I accumulate clothes and I now understand is relates to the fear of not being able to express myself throughout clothing as a kid
Thank you for your rare compassionate response to this disorder (that i have struggled with).
Once I asked my mom why is her room so fulfilled with things in a way that she can't even walk out straight of that room. She said if someone breaks in, at least she can hear it because before someone gets to her, he must go through all the things. And when things are falling, breaking and she hears it, she is aware that there's somebody there.
It feels to me that whatever happens, she must know it before it happens so she can be fully ready for it. When dad left (he didn't die, he just left), it was totally unexpected and everyones little world turned upside down. We had to move, there were money problems, everyone else but him had to pay his bills. He never asked how she solved his problems without him, he never sent help, never apologized for leaving us.
So I feel that having many things in her room just gives her security, emotionally, physically. Or she is afraid of being attacked. I don't know. I never asked. But also, asking why somebody has so many things might sound to them "why you are the way you are? I don't like it".
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Im only 3 minutes in and I feel so hopeful I can understand what drives me with hoarding.
Every time I'm dealing with something specific (like my hoarding) I'm amazed to see you post a teaching about it right then. Wow. Thank you.
I never equated my actions as a child with hoarding before, am have cried watching this. I had a sever lack of love or compassion growing up and also developed the idea that all things had feelings. Especially rubbish. I’d have to look after and bring back home all the packing and my rubbish (trash to you Americans) from my school packed lunches every day, to put all together and kind of ‘to bed’ with their ‘friends they knew’ in the bin there. As I grew I was aware I could hoard a bit and so have always made sure to keep a lid on it, just like I did with my emotions. I’m better now, more enlightened, but never made this connection before. Teal, you’re amazing❣️
Empressah 💖
I also feel like people (myself included) hoard electronically now: pictures and videos on phone and computer collecting and be unable to delete or deal with them and taking comfort in the piles of memories but not organizing them like I used to do when I was younger. Also I think hoarding and grief are strongly linked. My grandma lost her daughter when her daughter was only 19 years old and she hoarded ever since.
Good message this week. I am helping someone and myself through this kind of healing and love the advice moving present and forward. 💕
I hoard books and pens and stationary because I wasn’t give them in childhood and was emotionally abused for wanting them and when someone stole a pen from me they started the hoarding
Me too! Art materials and books also. I am a creative person and all my life I have wanted to create and make things like art etc in my childhood I was constantly being told that what I wanted to do was bad and i should not do it. When I was a child it was my dream to have a set of watercolours I was always told off and was never allowed to have them. I was devastated. At age 25 I was given watercolours as a gift from my then husband. Now 20 years later I have hoarded watercolours brushes and papers.
@@THEMAYQUEEN1 Tragic.
Those “piles” you describe actually make it sound so cool and confy. Like “mounds of love 💕 “ unconditionally loving us forever.
And yeah i used to call cigs my friends 😄
My mum and brother are both hoarders who live together.... It got severely worse after my dad died (probably a mixture of it made it worse when he died and he used to keep it under control). I've always known exactly why my mum is a hoarder and I've always had compassion for it, although it is incredibly unhealthy for my mental state being in that space and I used to freak out for the family dog who sadly is no longer with us. I've tried all sorts of ways to try and get her down a path of getting the help she needs to the also help with this symptom but I'm aggressively met with "there's nothing wrong with me and what would talking about my feelings or therapy achieve" .... So, what, I'm just left to clean up the mess after she's left this earth having lived a very unhappy life.... Sits really well with me
I can't thank you enough for this video. Finally it all make sense. Thank you so much Teal
I Think teal on purpes have her hair slide in her face to make us feel the need to correct it.
Lol same it was annoying me
Haha! I wanted to fix it & then decided she was leaving it for a reason. 💛✨
Yes! Insightful!
*rolls eyes*
Ha ha true
Damn teal you did it again! I feel a little called out- both about my hoarding and lack of compassion for those buried deeper than i..I dont know if I can ask for help but I might be able to help myself...then hopefully others.
This is a beautiful sharing thank you
Thank you Teal, for your unique way of sharing and creating paradigm shifts 🙏🏾💜🌈🙋🏾
I think they love things and they keep them and " take care" of them as much as they can until it goes out too far. Thanyou Teal and all the coments. So interesting ! Helps me a lot
A very much needed and appreciated explanation. Thank you Teal!! You rock! 🤜
I really like that you suggested not to judge hoarders. I think a lot of people need help out a hole but fear judgement of others, some aren’t even technically hoarders and are just overwhelmed or suffering depression. We are taught so many mixed messages around so many things: don’t waste, you need more, even reuse and recycle can start as good but then get twisted. Some people like myself suffer from ADHD and organizing just overwhelms us.
Thank you for this video. Someone in my family is a compulsive hoarder. I know that there must be something underlying this symptom, but now I can understand it on a much deeper level 🙌🏼😊
I have a friend who is a hoarder. This video did its job in providing me with greater insight into their situation. Thanks!
OMG thank you Soo much for this...you are a true Jewel Teal! As soon as you said we all do it I knew I had been hoarding in my own life but because it is invisible I have been able to keep it from being detected. I watched this because my sister is a horrible hoarder and I thought I could learn something from this about her and I did. This is a profound revelation you have shared with us. Thank you for having the courage to share your gift with the world!!
On point. Every week for the past 5+ years. I wont even ask how this is happening. Its major alignment, but I am still so amazed 😇💎💗
I do have a lot of things I don't want to throw out, but I have no problem giving it to someone who's wants it. I realized I worry I run out of things to give, that's why I hoard. BUT I will never run out from my ❤
Very well done, Teal. Much appreciation.
This is brilliant. I am a horder. I horder books, make-up and stationary. This year I forced myself to make this year a “Project Pan” And “Depth Year.” (For anyone who doesn’t know. Depth Year means using everything you have in your possession without buying anything, Project Pan is the same thing but relates to Make-Up.)
It has really forced me to look at the underlying issues in my life. Even though it is 2 months in, it’s so hard but I have faith I can do it.
I’m a recovering hoarder. I grew up in a home with a mother who was a minimalist. Minimalism is celebrated but it is just as dangerous as hoarding. We never had what we needed growing up. We didn’t keep an extra bottle of soap like most people. If we got low on soap, we had to rush to the store to buy soap. Going to the store was always an emergency. I hated it. My mom has been trying to get me to watch hoarding videos. I’m tired of it. I sent her this video from Teal Swan just because I love Teal Swan. Right away she said Teal was wrong. Hoarding isn’t caused by childhood experiences; it is caused by DNA. She said this because she calls my dad (her exhusband) a hoarder although he is not; he is just married to a hoarder (my stepmom) and she calls my dad’s mom a hoarder, but grandma is one of the cleanest most organized people I know. My mom doesn’t want to accept responsibility so she is blaming everything on my dad’s side of the family. I believe I have overcome hoarding. I’ve gotten rid of a lot. I’m not done getting rid of stuff, but I’ve overcome mental hurdles.
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU … …… YOU ARE AN ANGEL …. I HAD CPTSD , HAD BEEN NEARLY 10 YEARS STAY IN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP .. I LOST EVERYTHING EVERYTHING
THEN I START TO BUILD MY LIFE AGAIN .. IM NOT THE SAME PERSON ...I HAVE DIFFICULTY WITH LET GO OR HOW I SEE OBJECTSS .. I FEEL SO MUCH VALUE FOR THEM AND WHEN IT BROKEN I WOULD DO WHATEVER I CAN TO FIX THEM .. JUST LIKE YOU SAID ..ALL YOU SAID IS ALL TRUE … I BEEN TO THERAPY FOR YEARS ,,, I STILL KEEP COLLECTING STUFF …
I HEARD YOU FOR 29MIN … YOU FIXED ME … AT LEAST YOU SHOWED ME WHERES MY WOUNDS ARE … IM CRYING RIGHTNOW … BUT IM HAPPY …,CAUSE I KNOW NOW IM NOT BROKEN AND I M NOT TRASH …. I KNOW WHAT IM GOING TO DO ….. THANK YOU ….THANK YOU CANT SAY ENOUGH THANK YOU ….
this is the best video i've ever seen about hoarders - and i've seen and read everything i could get my hands on. Thank you so much for getting it! your clarity and compassion about the issue is spot-on
I am learning so much from this beautiful amazing intelligent Teacher! Thank you for helping us through our struggles.
You are so insightful. You just told my life story.
The fuck! This is the most unbelievable manifestation for me! Last month I wished that Teal uploaded a video on hoarders but I never believed that it would come true. De- cluttering my hoarded home has been my dream for 3 years but I never succeeded as hoarding is hoarding because of psychological reasons, of course. This January I screen captured Teal's frequency paintings (the video about frequency painting was also a manifestation within week this Jan) to incline my energy with organisation and De-clutter. I started watching hoarding videos to look for solutions and tips from and emotional support with experts and the sufferers respectively which helped me a lot. This video came a month later when I still haven't cleared the clutter much but I am shocked that it came. I am fortunate with manifestions but this one surprised me as I never believed it would be true.
All of it is sooo true!
One thing to add: having the pretext of "recycling/ reusing", these days it is like saving the planet!
Someone very close to me is a hoarder. Thank you for this perspective so I can have compassion and understanding. I feel this new knowledge from your video will play a huge part in our healing process. ❤
Thank you for your compassion - this is what we need to heal 🙏💖💖💖
My wife has found such great solace and compassion from so many of your videos. She feels understood and uses your videos as both educational tools to help with her relationships with herself and with her family (including me) and as introductions to her own healing process. Thank you for being willing to share your expertise and, honestly, being almost like a friend to her.
As you point out in this video, hoarding isn't just a simple behavior disorder, but is more often than not a construct of trauma-related experiences that should be met with compassion and understanding.
Could you please offer some practical advice for those living with hoarders? Personally, after 15 years of living in filth and not once throwing something of hers away, I've grown weary. We have two children as well and they shouldn't have to live with bugs, dust everywhere, and the skin problems that arise from said dust. Towards the end of the video, you said that someone without compassion shouldn't be in a hoarders living environment. Is that really the only solution?
Wow! This is a great explanation!
You are so wise 💕💜💕😊 love you Teal 💕
Mind blown
Had a breakthrough thanks to this. Thanks teal.
👍very thorough insight and description. QUESTION: Is this the same or opposite reason a person becomes an OCD germaphobe, personal and dwelling clean freak?
That would be a super needed video, I have that!
Diana Boughner I think it can be a similar trauma that causes the behaviour but instead of hoarding and bringing things closer to feel safe you develop an aversion.Like I don't want anything foreign on me.just thinking out loud.
She said in a short video that OCD is unpredictably especially in relation to unsafety which is exactly what it is when I am triggered (I have ocd). I think if I don't know I have to assume the worst and deal with that to feel safe and some control over my life.
It is more like aversion but it's not about something just being foreign.
@@TheVioletMagic29 thank you. I also think of 'distraction tactic' to avoid sitting with the free-floating anxiety of CPTSD.
i really found the analysis of piles interesting.... i’m not a clincial hoarder myself but i do LOVE me some piles. i get stressed out when my room is too clean. but i also feel shame when it gets messy bc i was always shamed for having a messy room as a kid. but i think a part of me subconsciously likes the mess bc it feels like closeness and safety. everything being clean and pristine feels exposing and isolating. i don’t think i ever would’ve realized that without watching this.
Wow.... thank you, this really gave me a broader view of my sister. It is interesting, I've wanted t to ask her for years... WHAT DIDN'T YOU GET AS A CHILD, THAT YOU NEEDED? The reason I never asked was because she'd deny EVER needing anything. I want to cry for her. If you ever met her, she'd be impeccable from head to toe. You'd never guess she lives in piles of stuff. I got the great idea to put things in plastic colorful storage bins... only to realize, she wants as many things as possible in her face. I understand so much better now. Thanks again.
So glad to have watched this very informative video on the subject! Thank you Teal.
Almost each video you post is so in tune with what comes up around and in my life lol. Great time to post this, thank you✨
Very insightful! 👍💕. Acquisition and letting go, two sides of the coin. At times, the objects are physical tangible presences of those we loved! Those who left us and went to heaven. We can't see them, hear them or hold them. Except through the things they touched, held, used, and in fact gathered together to make a beautiful home! It's very hard to let those things go, even when time is of the essence to do so quickly, to return to one's own home. Healing is understanding these parameters, not intellectually, but emotionally and spiritually. Spiritually nothing actually belongs either to them or you because in death these things get left behind. I liked the point you made, of reverence to these objects and reminding oneself that they can now serve another. But it is still very very hard to do. For some it's not hard at all. I'm labelled "sentimental " but I like myself as I am. I do need to break free, getting myself together, healing. 🙏💜🔥💕🌹.
This was presented with so much compassion. Thank you. I now understand better the hoarders in my life.
I’d love to hear your thoughts on capitalism. Are we slaves to a capitalist society? If so, how do we break free from this slavery?
Thanks for raising the issue of capitalism.
A competitive society divides people into "winners" and "losers". (And blames the victims. And lauds the "genius and philanthropy" of predators.)
And our disappearing safety net makes people insecure about their
money and their things, and even their survival.
I call hoarding Poverty Neurosis- if I save something from the trash that I can fix, I won't have to buy one. A penny saved is a penny earned.
I feel I need to do that. Even though I get the average Social Security benefit, it is 2/3 of Minimum Wage where I live!
Most businesses can't get away with paying less than minimum wage, but the government can!
They'll say "because it's not a wage". (Never mind the "spirit of the law", or morality, or humaneness, or the emotional traumatization of those who witness people living and dying on our streets. And neither corporate party has declared an emergency over homelessness or hunger for decades, or ever.)
But more and more people are becoming impoverished, as capitalism Hoovers the wealth to the top.
A majority of Americans are not yet in poverty, but we're heading there, and so we have a MAJORITY who want a new party,
according to the Gallup Poll.
But thanks to the corporate media, a majority are UNAWARE that we have the NON-corporate Green Party on the ballot in almost every state now! www.gp.org
So letting people just know that- is one important thing we can do.
A book called The Hundredth Monkey talks about the critical mass, or break-point, where a new idea or practice is adopted by the majority after being viewed as kooky.
I tell people who are leery of socialism: You don't have to like Stalin or Mao. I don't. Just search Einstein's 8 page "Why Socialism".
It's not hard reading, and having the "Man of the Century" is a better endorsement than Shaquille O'Neal. (Maybe!)
(If someone has time for a book, I
recommend Trotsky's "The Revolution Betrayed" to explain the problem of Stalinism.)
And hats off to Teal Swan for explaining the emotional and relationship roots of the problem.
I think a lot of that would improve with a good safety net, job market, and truly democratic ownership and control of the economy.
Thanks to both of you!
This video actually touches on what needs to happen for capitalism to crumble. Billionaires and other capitalists need to be in therapy to face the trauma that causes them to hoard wealth and destroy the world and people's lives in the process. Capitalism is broken, and socialism is where we are headed thankfully.
Watch on Gaia the bildabergs movie
OH really? If you love Socialism so much why don't you move to Venezuela or Cuba? People are eating dogs and garbage. Name one country where Socialism has worked. You can't. If it wasn't for Capitalism, you wouldn't be typing on this computer or using your iPhone.
I feel like we are voluntary participants of capitalism . not slaves to it. Although people have been manipulated and conditioned to consume as much as possible.