And more deadly because it's insidious. You can prove physical abuse but you can't convince someone you're being mentally harmed. And it takes alot to undo the effects of mental abuse provided one even understands they are even being abused
@SHAWNA499 As a childhood and adult survivor of physical, sexual, emotional, mental and verbal abuse as well as the child of a narc father and the family scapegoat yes I very much understand. I only wish it hadn't taken me 40 years to realize such. But thankfully I am slowly but surely healing. The biggest and best part is my inner child work and reparenting myself. Mental abuse is devastating as it makes you your own worst enemy
Thank you to everyone with the courage to tell their story to anyone willing to listen. It's never easy and you never know the impact you could have on someone's ability recognize that we need to seek safety 👑
I need to tell my story cause I was abusive mentally emotionally physically etc cause we women need to talk about it plus I had a bff she killed urself over a man she never told me until she wrote me a letter before she pass we was hanging together that night
It is a terrible stuck feeling. And most the time they try and take everything too! Your phone ur wallet ur purse and if you live with them it's even more of a stuck feeling, one time I tried to leave and he fought for my car keys then kicked my car window out. Once we were fighting in the streets and a group of guys came told him to stop and he was yelling at them, they beat him up then he came back and beat ne up bc it was my fault.
I'm a survivor of domestic violence I was repeatedly strangled. I'm 55yrs old. It seems between the movies, music and video games and cartoons violence is pushed upon us. God save us especially the children Amen
@@xEPICxNESS thank you. I don't know if anyone knows this about capitalize G when referring to the one and only God of most high Yaweh otherwise the lower g refers to demon gods. it's in the Bible in Leviticus and Deuteronomy. I hope this helps😃
I was pushed once. Into a picture frame and to the floor in glass. I always thought “I’d never let a man touch me”, but in that moment I asked myself what I did wrong. I tried to say “he didn’t mean to do that, he won’t do it again…” and then it clicked that I get it. I understand why people stay. It’s scary and confusing. I left him, I was just an 18 year old kid and he was 25. I’m happy I told my dad, he made sure I stayed away even when I didn’t want to and it prevented more violence because his next girlfriend was beaten. I kept him a secret, and I was lucky I got out with support from my family. My experience isn’t “that bad” but that’s why violence is normalized. It starts small. But it gets worse, before you even realize it.
I’m a Virginian and my ex tried to abuse the system and make this law work against me but they knew he was wrong and full of it. I’m so grateful for people praying and for the deputies who spoke up for me when he chased me out of the court room.
I’m a survivor of domestic violence I was strangled, pushed, emotionally abused, had a knife pulled out on me. It took him going to prison for the third time after 3 daughters to finally end the relationship. It was so hard because by that time I helped him take care of his children he had when we broke up. Well one is clearly his and the other one isn’t. DNA proved that it’s his brother’s child. I am 41 years old and I am so free. I no longer put myself last. I started my therapy and meditation journey and it has opened my eyes to many things.
Ive been abused all my life up until a few years ago. Raped, tortured, kidnapped held at gun point,held hostage. My ex husband even tried to throw me out on the freeway while doing well over 80. Im so sorry people go through this. I love you all,and pray for you
To too have been in many abusive situations. Terrible you were abused in so many ways. I pray for all those who suffered domestic violence. Hope more escape before tragedy occurs. It took years of writing, seeking counseling. Books, support from peer groups: to learn the words that I lived through. Sad that so many Black women I know would not seek help to escape an abuser. This video is very educational. It may help someone leave an abuser. God bless all survivors.❤
My daughter is 15 and has had 2 friends so far with abusive violent boys to the point they made my daughter uncomfortable. I don’t know what’s going on with the males but something needs to be done, they’re ruining lives.
@@wisdomdantecourt8179 yeah I’m doing all that I can to teach her to pay attention to people’s words vs actions. Pay attention to boys/young men that throw tantrums when things don’t go their way. Pay attention to boys who depend too heavily on their mothers, etc. , because those kind of males are dangerous to women, until I see otherwise.
A lot of boys are being coddled too much, they’re being raised by ignorant scorned women that ‘don’t need a man for nuffin’. I work for CPS, I try to get single moms help. A lot of services out here that ppl don’t know about. I refer them all to mentor programs, extra curricular activities, therapies, etc. it’s not just about removing kids, it’s about trying to help these kids grow up to be successful adults. Teaching respect, love, compassion, how to problem solve and address anger properly. It’s not just black families either, all races are affected.
@@alexajay6896 Yeah, stop coddling the boys. Stop it. In a woman and I learned how to make rice at 8. Make sure they are men in training as soon as they developed personality at 2. Teach independence... then comes confident, but with all these lessons always be nurturing. As soon as they're born, hugs, kisses, make them soup when they get sick, or just coming back from the dentist.
@@peacelove7437 I’m raising a daughter. Raising boys is not my concern, that’s up to the “community” I’m trying to protect my child from their mind games and cruelty.
The reason a lot of us stay is because we are made to look like the problem to the outsiders and we know when we finally leave it's the scariest moment. I was abused for 15 years and when I finally got out I was stalked for 5 year and proved multiple times I was not as safe as I thought I was. My ex tried to kill me multiple times and I now suffer from PTSD and have a hard time trusting people or going in public alone.
I never understood why victims of domestic violence always get bashed for not leaving their abuser but yet there is not enough protection for them if they do decide to .There needs to be stricter laws against this its ashame smh this world we live in is so full of evil praying for the victims and their families🙏🙏
Exactly the victim is ALWAYS blamed. It’s like how come the abuser just go the heck away!!! Geez I feel terrible from the violence it’s too much for people!!
I have been there...I am a survivor..."why did you stay" what people don't understand is the same fear that makes you want to leave is the same fear that makes you say...sounds strange but you wouldn't understand unless you have been through it...
after that first incidence i was out these men dont change !!! - he choked me with a phone cord in the 80s- and that was the last time a man put his hands on me !! im ok being alone, i love me MORE then any man
I don't even know how I got on this end of the internet today. I've watched about 4 DV videos this afternoon. Condolences to everyone who shared their stories. May you all find peace and a very special comfort that will last always.
I'm a survivor of domestic violence. I've been strangled, beaten, kicked, threatened, isolated, locked up and cut with a knife. I thought I loved this man and because I number the pain from the beatings with drugs I couldn't see what was actually happening to me. I went to rehab with a black eye and when he came to visit me he made a joke about the state my face was in. Getting clean saved my life because when I got sober I could see things much more clearly. I prayed to God through out our relationship for him to ask me to marry him, and we spoke about children all the time. Now I know he was protecting me and I am so grateful. It's been 5 weeks since he last hit me and I don't regret leaving him one bit. I can finally have peace despite the nightmares. I recently ran into a friend again but this time it feels like there's a genuine connection. We are going on a 'date' tomorrow. I know it might be too soon to date so I'm taking it very slow and not expecting anything. I don't want to mess up my next relationship, because I know I deserve to be cared for. I pray for everyone still stuck in abusive relationships.. I don't wish it on my worst enemy
Cut off all ties to that man. CHANGE UR NUMBER, JOBS, APARTMENT, ETC. ITS FOR UR OWN SAFETY AND PEACE OF MINE. THANK U FOR BEING BRAVE TO LEAVE. JUST STAY AWAY FROM HIM AND ANYONE LIKE THAT. ALSO WHOEVER U ARE WITH DO NOT TELL THEM UR STORY, U NEVER KNOW PPL INTENTIONS AND PPL USE UR STORY AGAINST YOU. IM PROUD OF U EVEN THO WE DONT KNOW U. I HOPE MY WORDS ARE HELPFUL AND U FIND COMFORT IN IT.
If youve come to the comments for affirmation if this video is worth the watch,...IT IS...ITS RAW & REAL its going to IMPACT EVERYONE who watches,..this documentary PUTS YOU IN PLACE ITS LIKE BEING THERE & IT PUTS YOU IN THE FEELINGS OF THESE FAMILIES,...This deserves so much recognition its truly amazing & MAY ALL THESE BEAUTIFUL WOMEN, FAMILIES, EVERYONE whos been a victim of domestic violence rise up & shine the light for others to see ☮️❣️🙃
Yes, I went through this, someone thought I was a paranoid mess in the end, that I was exaggerating the situation. The police didn't they took me very seriously luckily. Nearly 2 years on im still coming to terms with my experience and the potential danger I was in. The police and outreach worker did a risk assessment. I was high risk for serious bodily harm and homicide. I'll forever be grateful to them... the individual also started to spin towards the arrest that I was abusive, so when the police called me I was in absolute bits thinking he had reported me for something I didn't do
I was mostly bullied by boys in school, my father came to the school each time coz he's like "no one touches my kids" I'm glad he never said oh he's hitting you coz he likes you,coz sooo many people say this to girls, till this day if someone talks out the side of their neck I cut em off immediately, sadly not everyone had the same luck as me..
My ex-husband started out with the verbal abuse before it progressed to sexual & physical too. I really can’t stand it whenever I hear the “Why didn’t you just leave?”. Unless you’ve been in an abusive relationship yourself you really have no place judging & you have no place asking “Why didn’t you just leave?”. It’s not like the relationship starts out wrong, usually abusers start out slow, with the emotional and/or verbal abuse. Domestic violence is mostly about control & most abusers know that it’s a process that has multiple “steps” to achieve the “control” over the other person they want. I finally left after six years, after he almost killed me & our daughter. I still remember how surprised he was when he finally realized I wasn’t coming back this time & that I wasn’t going to forgive him again. Before I was with him I remember growing up swearing that I’d never put myself into that situation, I thought I was too “smart” to be fooled by someone like that. I was wrong, abuse really has no set type of person it can only be experienced by. Doesn’t matter how smart, how much money you have, what race or gender you are, you can still become a victim. It’s been almost 20 years since I left & I’m still “not over it” & I’m still very much bitter & angry towards him. Even if I never have to see him again I think I’ll always be angry & bitter over what he put me & our daughter through. Even though my daughter was only 4 when it ended & it’s been almost 20 years I can still see the effects seeing & hearing his abuse has had on her. I don’t know if it’s “worst” for her because she is mentally disabled & so even though she’s an ‘adult’ in body her mind is stuck at around 6-8 years of age. Given what she saw & her disabilities it’s not surprising that she can sometimes get violent towards me even though the last 18 years of her life have been completely different to what our life was before. I’m fortunate to be remarried to a wonderful man who is amazing with my daughter, it takes a lot to take on someone else’s kid let alone a disabled kid at that. I know that we are truly lucky & blessed to have him in our lives.
Someone told me: “Forgiveness releases the forgiver” so let go! Free yourself. I finally reached forgiveness after I wrote and had published a poem about my domestic violence. Hope something “frees you”. Been there.my heart goes out to you. Your “happy ending” is your life with your current husband. The last thing the abuser wants is for you to be happy without them. Well done! Congratulations!❤️❤️❤️
You ENABLED the abuse to continue by staying. You have to be accountable for enabling the abuse to affect your children who heard/witnessed it. I hate when women ENABLE abuse, and negate any form of accountability for the danger they put their kids/family/friends in.
@@dustindustindontworry-jz8dhshut the entire fuck up you psychopath. how the fuck you hear someone’s trauma & you blame them. she is the VICTIM in this she holds no responsibility for a GROWN persons actions. HE should be the only one blamed. I hope you go through something traumatic & when you reach out someone blames you, invalidates your experience & shuts you down. you disgusting human garbage.
I'm a female survivor. Have witnessed violence done to my Mother. Literally pausing this video for a bit...The screams are haunting. I am so sorry for everyone that has been through this, & to those loved ones that survive those that didn't make it out. One of the greatest evils of all time.
My friend Shannon she was on Montel Williams show she was shot 5 times by her ex husband in front of their 4 children then he shot himself dead. She still has a bullet in her, she remarried her kids are grown her new husband is great she became an alcoholic a verbally abusive I pray for her. 😊
I do not even let my kids play fight. I don’t let my daughter talk aggressive to her brothers and vice versa. I do my best to try to prevent behavior of violence and pray that I did well by my children. I wasn’t always this way but I am gentle parenting at a late age and it’s working well for me.
Thank you for your testimony. My daughter is only six I feel like I have failed her in many ways. I’m not angry by nature but a lot we have been put through has left me angry and bitter. I’m done with that though I know I can fix myself and change the narrative just like you did
Destiny was a beautiful girl, her Mother loved her more than anything else in this world. Her hurt is evident everyday 😢❤ RIP to all these amazing women
Sometimes we stay because they have PROMISED to kill those we love the minute we leave. (i remember when my first husband informed me he had apologized for the abuse while i was hostage before the police intervened & gave me a 10m head start before turning him loose to track me, back in the 70s ... He felt he had expressed his remorse long enough & informed me unless i came home he was blowing up my father's home with my pregnant baby sister in it. And he had previously blown up a police officer's FAMILY car in their driveway for giving him a ticket for doing 90 in a residential area. He definitely was capable of that. Another time he encouraged me to accompany a friend on a road trip, extremely cordial & insisting it would do me good. Just before she picked me up, he told me to make sure i told my pup goodbye. And casually added, "the minute you go thru that door, I'm breaking his neck." And he would have. So i don't disrespect people for staying. We don't know how someone else is being extorted and intimidated.
When you left, did he go after your family? I know someone in a situation like this and her family won’t intervene, and she won’t leave because of those threats. He won’t even let her out the house without him.
@@candice446 does she have family or friends out of the state that is willing to help her for a few months? Does she have children? There are programs out there that will help women like her. I too was a victim of DV. If she wants to leave she has to do it quietly and trust maybe maybe only 1 person. The moment she leave she needs to get in contact with the police and tell them her name she is fine and her situation also put a restraining order on him. That way if he puts a missing report out they wouldn't take him seriousl.
We are taught to forgive. DV+forgiveness =death. Period. I wish nothing but peace for all the women who have suffered at the hands of cowards. I want to wrap my arms around them and tell them I love you. This film has me in tears…I have never been in a DV situation because I made up in my mind that I will rather do time in prison before I let a coward terrorize me. Forgiveness is for the Lord and your mother as for me I don’t want to talk to anyone except my attorney. I just never tolerated violence because I would say to myself if I stay I’m going to jail if he put his hands on me. No talking I’m done period.
I can't fathom how people are able to harm someone that they're supposed to love and protect. Be it a child, husband, or wife. Just like I don't understand why people hurt strangers- you don't know them, you don't know how many people are waiting for them to come home.
Thank you so much for sharing this 🤍 I was a victim of domestic abuse too. 3 years, of physical, emotional and sexual abuse. I got out at the tail end of last year, and he then stalked me for months. Through all the times he forced me to have sex, choked me until i passed out, held me down, everything - the worst feeling of all was when I tried to comfort him, and he pushed me off the bed onto the cold floor. I just sat and cried, through everything the absolute worst part was that total feeling of rejection and being thrown aside. The only reason I got out was because of my friends, after I confided in them and they encouraged me to leave. For anyone who may be going through something similar, the first person you tell will be the hardest part, but it's so necessary. Once you start talking, you'll get closer and closer to getting out and finding someone who will ACTUALLY love you and not hurt you!! xx
@@tokkirot good for you, I got out of my verbal and emotional abusive relationship many, many years ago and found the love of my life, I'm so very happy for you and I do understand how much it helps to talk about the situation, God bless you and yours, keep moving forward 💖💖
Stop blaming the victim to start with and put the spotlight on the perpetrator male or female! Very little is being said about the one doing the abusing!
@@shonuff7612 This remark was not. Intended for the video but for a few of the commenters! Despite my remarks my intention is not to leave but to inspire more discussion but thank you for your timely response! 👵🏽☝🏾🦢☪️🦢✡️🦢✝️🦢🙏🏽
ppl think these ninjas are gonna change-- a man choked me with a phone cord in the 80's i walked away the same day and never looked back ONCE was enough for me!! dont be afraid to be alone and move on with your life black eyes and a house full of kids that you cant afford is NOT LOVE!!!
you want to change the narrative from life saving practicality of escape to...what?why are they like that?????some people are bad but what is certain is they do not change and the whys?of it is pointless
.so educate my children on personal sexual preferences but, they cant be taught what unhealthy relationships look like!? Thats the world we live in....🤬
I’m 47 and a survivor. 2 15 year relationship and 1 1/2 years finally single. If you do the math you will see Iv spent most of my life with a mans foot against my neck. I once was made to dig my own grave. As he stood over me taking the shovel to hit me with it.It took me what seemed like hours until the sun started to dawn. With each shovel of dirt I weeped silently inside. That empty hole was a reminder for me every morning and night. I was only aloud to live cause he let me. I could go and on with the torment which was my life for 30 years. It’s still alive in my mind and the wounds it left have been more that just physical. I would always say I would rather be beaten that to have the emotional and mental scars I bare today. At least those wounds heal.I’m only here by the grace of God.
What's crazy is the kids from domestic violence...I saw my dad beat the crap out of my mom and fast forward now married with kids and I'm still messed up. My Mom rolled out and the abuse both physical and sexual turned toward my sister and me. I wake up every day having to convince myself not to go and kill dude who happens to be my father. Haven't seen dude in about 15 years which I guess is for the best...This doc hits so deep...
I love women being brave to tell their story . I remember I first dated a guy who punched me in the face because he was so insecure and I didn’t see it coming . Long story short he had a criminal record and the very first thing was that I changed my phone number , moved out , got a restraining order , and tried to get away from that monster . He use to stalk me and threatened me and that was the last straw for me .
Thankyou for sharing your story I’m so sorry this happened to you I know how painful it is and what happened to me is painful it’s not easy to live live in pain everyday. It’s not fair.
I am a survivor of domestic violence was with my ex husband for 14 years repeatedly hit on and emotionally abused by the man I thought loved me he held me hostage, was held at gun point, was strangled, busted lips, Raped, watching him turn on my kids i knew i had to get away.. after him I got with another man and this man was 10× worse he left me for dead in a hotel room and threaten my daughter to shoot her she was only 14 looking back on my life I can only say God definitely was with me and my kids during these dark hours/times of my life 💔 I say girls abuse either emotionally or physical ain't love please don't be blinded by what you think is love and get far away free yourself
My heart hurts. I Love you, I'm crying and I stand with every woman, man, child who experiences the increasing DV. One DV victim affects every last one of us and we have to stand together to offer support not judgment not controlling or trying to determine what another person should do because until you walk a mile in your shoes you don't know. Women who have lost their lives to DV rest peacefully in heaven 🕊️ because your life was not in Vain. The courage some women have is air measurable because leaving and deciding when you're not going to take it anymore is the most dangerous.
There is definitely a problem with so many males being abusive to their mates. Because of this fact women need to run for their lives at the 1st sign of a red flag. Too many lives being lost.
Thank you for this documentary and everyone who shared their story i will be watching this with my daughter as someone who grew up seing my mother be beaten on a daily you either grow up knowing thats not love or believing that it is love i know people on both sides GOD bless these families 🙏🏽❤
It really is about personal accountability I feel sorry for these people but… not going to front like we don’t live in a society and more specifically a community where the women who are coupled up think they’re better than those who are not. Or think that single women want they ol raggedy man. Smh.
I don’t want to be a statistical 7-9. I’ve already left at least four times. If I don’t stay in this RV with him on his parents property I’m going to have to find a homeless shelter. I’ve never been to one. It’s beginning to seem better than this place, but I’m not alone. I feel like I’ll lose my Daughter if I go to the homeless shelter. I can’t believe this is even happening. I’ve no mother or father or siblings to reach out to. No friends either.
Remember we aren't victims we're survivor's. I thank the one above for saving me I left the first time ( his eyes freaked me out during the incident and i was SA i knew he'd kill me if i stayed) it breaks me sometimes that not many women and men could. To this day I have a son I teach him the importance of treating everyone with respect. Don't put your hands on women and don't let her touch you. The first hit fight with everything in you to leave never come back. My condolences to everyone whose lost someone to DV
I'm a survivor too and Honeslty just stayed for 10 years because of love and fear of what he would do. Until one day he almost killed me and that was the last day we ever spent together. ❤
Very sad stories. I feel so sorry for the victims 😢 I worked as a volunteer counsellor at a Domestic Violence Charity. Have helped women escape to refuges, but also not judged them if they remain in abusive relationships until they feel ready to love. One thing I would say is that nobody’s love is more important than the love you should have for yourself. Nobody who loves you would intentionally hurt you. You might feel fearful of leaving and be more at risk but you are 💯 already living in fear and 💯 at risk when you stay.
The new reporter lady or cop>>> like!!! It doesn’t matter if ppl are strippers, crackheads or whatever, no one deserves to just get their taken; especially not so brutally.
Back in the Bronx I watched my stepdad beat my mother from the time I was 4 , until I turned 13. If he wasnt beating her, I'd hear my bestfriends mother who lived 2 doors down from me getting beat by her husband. Back in the 80s there was no where to run for rhese women. Police would laugh about the incident and just tell My stepdad to go away for the night TILL MY MOTHER COOLED OFF. MY mother was lucky to get away with her life; but the memories still burn inside her today.
"I saw them get thrown up against the lockers by her little boyfriend... I don't know if thats violence tho?" For real I am worried about these kids 😅 they are really got out in the world on their own with that level of intelligence and it's terrifying
She kept dropping it every time she went to the police because he kept making her think that he was sorry each time and that it would never happen again, but it kept happening until the day that he did the unthinkable I’m guessing
Need to find out what 'love' really means. Priyanka Chopra: "My mom always says that when a woman is financially independent, she has the ability to live life on her own terms. That was the best advice I ever got. No matter where you go in life, or who you get married to, you have to be financially independent. You don't know which curve balls life will throw at you. Hence, you need to have the ability to take care of yourself and people whom you love. It gives you the ability to protect yourself when life happens, to stand on your own feet and say that's alright, I can do something about it without being helpless."
That's why it's good to know the Creator (God) before the evil days come. Ecc. 12:1. Amen. I am also a domestic violence survivor. 1994, 2003, and 2006. By the Grace of God, I made it out. I am single and at peace. Amen.
The problem...laws that do not protect the victims....i should be able to shoot on site as soon as he or she comes around after restraining order. Prison time for breaking restraining orders etc...these stories should be different. They should be survivors ....not resting in peace ❤...my condolences 🙏
I lost everything due to DV and started completely over. When I am having a tough time adjusting to the losses, I have to remind myself that I am still alive. If someone threatens your life, please believe them. Please do not be afraid to start over financially, it doesn't matter if you can't even live to have the money you are staying for. Find a way to love yourself and know you are worthy without them. My great grandmother was killed in front of her children in a domestic violence situation. My grandmother saw this, first husband was abusive before she married my grandfather. My mother was in an abusive relationship when she had me. I almost died from domestic violence myself. I have to stop this cycle. If you are going through this now and have children, please consider if you'd rather raise them in poverty by starting over, or risking losing them to murder.
I think men have the difficulty of people not taking them seriously when they reveal they're being abused. Almost as if they aren't a "strong" man because how could they let it happen. I don't think thats fair.
Only God can help you. Talk to Him. Have faith and talk to Him. 100% guaranteed He will answer. I know. I am a domestic violence survivor. I survived by the grace of God. Amen.
I really do think that this extreme behavior and violence against women by these men is a symptom of a severe mental illness. Don't you? It's not normal and the extent of it has never been so public and so new, so widespread. I think it must be some kind of illness that makes them suddenly turn so violent to people to whom they formerly expressed love and affection. What could give men the idea that they can treat anyone that way, much less the women and children whom they usually love and protect from harm? The image of manly courage and care seems to be totally lacking in them.
its always been as widespread as it is now, if not more. it wasnt even a crime until the 70s, and even then only the most straightforward evil strong man beats scared helpless woman was recognized. since we started seeing women as people we're talking about it more now, which is good! but it was once considered normal behavior, and was obviously more widespread then.
@@cassidy7315 Was going to say the same. Women suffered in silence and were never allowed a voice. This is pervasive in male culture and cheerleaded on by other men. Until men themselves stand up en masse and stop empowering abusers, it will continue.
My ex boyfriend who abused me definitely had a lot of unchecked mental issues and unresolved trauma, but refused to go to therapy even though he promised every time he hurt me that he would stop and get help I truly think some people can get help and never abuse again but some people are just wired a certain way, I still love my ex boyfriend despite how much he hurt me - and that's one of the most confusing parts of domestic violence. How can someone be so loving and then, like flipping a switch, turn evil?
It seems the hardest challenge for anyone being abused is to leave their abuser. I never understand it until it happened to me. Strength, courage and support is what’s needed. The abuser also needs help. There’s help out there for everyone and I hope they find it. God bless.
I don’t think it’s mental illness in most cases. It’s men feeling insecure and envious and wanting to assert power and control over women. Other times, it’s unresolved and misdirected anger. Other times, it’s sadistic tendencies and they get a buzz out of it.
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE SEND ME LINKS TO RESOURCES ETC. I AM HOMELESS AND LIVING IN MY CAR DUE TO MY DOMESTIC VIOLENCE ENCOUNTER IN APRIL 2024. IVE BEEN ASKING PPL WHAT TO DO BUT NO RESPONSES OR HELK
Whether Christian or not people need to read and live in obedience to God and what His Word says and this will cut alot of the murders, violence and unwed mothers
I stayed for 13 years I got with him when I was 15 until I was 28 it was slow he would hit me like once or twice a year but I thought no one would help me that's what he had me believe he would hit me in head no marks my word against his
Ok, so I understand being terrified, I was involved with a Narcissist, who after 1yr. Or so, he started with trying to make me loose my mind by removing some of my things from my purse or stealing my rings , moving my things around , he went as far as to put a woman's barrettes in the sheets to try and make me jealous and cause a scene so I would look bad, we connected after yrs. of not seeing each other , he was also my fit boyfriend in elementary , fast forward, I was so in love and happy and he knew it , then started the verbal abuse, not so much name calling but other forms, believe me in the beginning I was so happy like we're together forever, he was not who I thought he turned out yo be ,also was a alcoholic but never hit me I made it clear from the start I would never put up with that , of course he denied it all and made me look like crazy which was his plan, thank God I had the strength to make a plan to never go back , and I didn't, he mentioned that he didn't I would leave like that ,and yes he tried talking to me through social media, asking me to come back- WHAT ! My point is I seen the signs let it go for awhile , then it got scary for me , even his daughter told me if you don't feel safe get out, , , my strength in God helped me .
As a survivor it is not easy to leave. For me, I was moving out and moving on- I didn’t want anything from the marriage just to be away from him and he hated that I could move on without him and be successful. He was hater and one time I really Fought back i blacked out and woke up in jail. Thought I offed him but I didn’t. He lied it came to me and I was going to charged but they realized he was the aggressor. He never hit me again after that night. He got married one week after the divorce. His wife tried to bully me but after a few years I’m sure she’s seen his true character. She reached out on Fb asking me for resources and because she’s someone’s daughter I sent it to her and blocked her because I don’t want that drama back in my life.
Something that I feel like most people can't except is when you use physical discipline on your children you kinda set the stage that the if someone loves you it's OK for them to beat you and if you love someone you neee to beat them to show it. Physical discipline takes place and is promoted in ALOT of Black and Hispanic homes and then we wonder why we have soo many problems in our communities. And I guarantee someone will read this and say a good ass whipping will keep your kids out of trouble.
Bullshit. I knew it was wrong when I saw my parents getting physical with each other ( mom was the aggressor)at 6 years old...and I get spankings because we're immigrants from Southeast Asia. Spanking is okay when kids know why...
That's why I don't believe in hitting children. I stop spanking my children by the time I had my third child. It just seems like domestic violence towards children.
@@domodomo4032 the mother choosing to remain in a dangerous environment affects the child. The father or step father choosing to be violent can and often times has ended with the child being also abu5ed or UNALIVED. Children lives have been taken just to hurt the mother who after a LONG TUMULTUOUS relationship finally chooses to leave. NO CHILD DESERVES THAT!!!! and if the mother chooses to forgive and remain with her abu5er then removing the child and placing them in a safe environment (with other healthy and non vi0lent relatives hopefully) is a good idea. Not all sufferers of DV cannot leave, unfortunately A LOT CHOOSE NOT TO, due to psychological, sexual, financial, mental, emotional or spiritual reasons. Either way, the child ALWAYS ENDS UP BECOMING an INNOCENT VICTIM. ALOT OF THESE MEN (and women) who abu5e their partners were once children who were forced/subjected to watch and experience such brut@lity themselves whilst growing up. It was learnt behavior that they now themselves perpetrate, and see no issue with. So allowing a child to remain in the custody of a parent who frequently gets abu5ed places the child at a risk of developing into an abu5er or abu5ee. So if your reported as abu5ed and upon investigation you are cohabitating/entertaining/remaining with your accu5er then your choices are now a danger to the child. No one can force an adult to end a relationship and if it unfortunately ends TRAGICALLY, limiting INNOCENT CHILDREN from being victims is top priority. Children cannot protect themselves and have no say on who their biological and step parents are. So if upon investigation the decisions of the parents are not in the best interest of the child, then YES the law must intervene, and do what the parent is failing to do.
RECOMMENDED: Dissociative Identity Disorder Documentary (EXCLUSIVE) th-cam.com/video/0exyS4wO2Gw/w-d-xo.html
Domestic violence comes in so many forms. The remembrance is to know that mental abuse is still just as bad as the physical abuse.
You are so right mental abuse is just as horrible
And more deadly because it's insidious. You can prove physical abuse but you can't convince someone you're being mentally harmed. And it takes alot to undo the effects of mental abuse provided one even understands they are even being abused
@@Myglowupisinsideoutdo you really know how right you are?
Thank u 🙏🏽 🤎
@SHAWNA499 As a childhood and adult survivor of physical, sexual, emotional, mental and verbal abuse as well as the child of a narc father and the family scapegoat yes I very much understand. I only wish it hadn't taken me 40 years to realize such. But thankfully I am slowly but surely healing. The biggest and best part is my inner child work and reparenting myself. Mental abuse is devastating as it makes you your own worst enemy
❤ As a DV survivor, I pray 🙏 for everyone who endures this abuse and pain… 💐
Thank you to everyone with the courage to tell their story to anyone willing to listen. It's never easy and you never know the impact you could have on someone's ability recognize that we need to seek safety 👑
Thank you for your comment. We are looking forward to see you at the premiere of this important film.
@@RealWomenRealStorieswhen is it? I’m a survivor and this is so important
@@lavenderblu253 in Georgia.
I need to tell my story cause I was abusive mentally emotionally physically etc cause we women need to talk about it plus I had a bff she killed urself over a man she never told me until she wrote me a letter before she pass we was hanging together that night
This is why it is important to support Domestic Violence shelters. A victim must leave, move away, Abusers know the victim needs them,
It is a terrible stuck feeling. And most the time they try and take everything too! Your phone ur wallet ur purse and if you live with them it's even more of a stuck feeling, one time I tried to leave and he fought for my car keys then kicked my car window out. Once we were fighting in the streets and a group of guys came told him to stop and he was yelling at them, they beat him up then he came back and beat ne up bc it was my fault.
Nah its the abuser who needs the abused. Its the abuser who cant let go.
I'm a survivor of domestic violence I was repeatedly strangled. I'm 55yrs old. It seems between the movies, music and video games and cartoons violence is pushed upon us. God save us especially the children Amen
Amen
I'm so Proud of you, I can only hope to have your Strength
Thank you for telling your story, may God protect you for always. I’m proud of your strength, I am inspired and hope to heal as I grow older. Amen.
We’re groomed as children. Especially women
@@xEPICxNESS thank you. I don't know if anyone knows this about capitalize G when referring to the one and only God of most high Yaweh otherwise the lower g refers to demon gods. it's in the Bible in Leviticus and Deuteronomy. I hope this helps😃
Thank you for this documentary. I am no longer ashamed, I’m now empowered. In Jesus name, Amen 🙏
Me to
Praying for u both ❤🙏🏼🙏🏼
Amen 🙏
Me too. ❤
I was pushed once. Into a picture frame and to the floor in glass. I always thought “I’d never let a man touch me”, but in that moment I asked myself what I did wrong. I tried to say “he didn’t mean to do that, he won’t do it again…” and then it clicked that I get it. I understand why people stay. It’s scary and confusing. I left him, I was just an 18 year old kid and he was 25. I’m happy I told my dad, he made sure I stayed away even when I didn’t want to and it prevented more violence because his next girlfriend was beaten. I kept him a secret, and I was lucky I got out with support from my family. My experience isn’t “that bad” but that’s why violence is normalized. It starts small. But it gets worse, before you even realize it.
Thank you for sharing 🥹💜
I’m so glad you had family, I have no one. I emailed someone from a website. I don’t even have a friend to call.
me right now wow
@@lillianbloom1624 there are resources in your community. Advocates and programs will have someone for you to at least talk. Call the hotline!!
Going through Abuse from my Narcissistic Husband. And I'm getting tired of it. Almost ten years is enough.
In the Commonwealth of Virginia, you can not drop a case of Domestic Violence. The state takes it over. All states should make this LAW☮️
In Ohio you can't either. Witnesses saw him punching me in the car. I tried to have the charges dropped and I couldn't. This was over 10 years ago.
The state of Pennsylvania does that too I’m glad they past that law
I’m a Virginian and my ex tried to abuse the system and make this law work against me but they knew he was wrong and full of it. I’m so grateful for people praying and for the deputies who spoke up for me when he chased me out of the court room.
I’m a survivor of domestic violence I was strangled, pushed, emotionally abused, had a knife pulled out on me. It took him going to prison for the third time after 3 daughters to finally end the relationship. It was so hard because by that time I helped him take care of his children he had when we broke up. Well one is clearly his and the other one isn’t. DNA proved that it’s his brother’s child.
I am 41 years old and I am so free. I no longer put myself last. I started my therapy and meditation journey and it has opened my eyes to many things.
God keep you, Passion. You're so brave.
Same I was choked, bitten, and SA thank goodness I survived
Ive been abused all my life up until a few years ago. Raped, tortured, kidnapped held at gun point,held hostage. My ex husband even tried to throw me out on the freeway while doing well over 80. Im so sorry people go through this. I love you all,and pray for you
I’ve been there God bless you sister
@@Lady.Luck7640 💜
To too have been in many abusive situations. Terrible you were abused in so many ways. I pray for all those who suffered domestic violence. Hope more escape before tragedy occurs. It took years of writing, seeking counseling. Books, support from peer groups: to learn the words that I lived through. Sad that so many Black women I know would not seek help to escape an abuser. This video is very educational. It may help someone leave an abuser. God bless all survivors.❤
Sorry that you went through all that hell. You are a survivor for real. You survived to help others.
Glad God protected you🙏🏽❤️
My daughter is 15 and has had 2 friends so far with abusive violent boys to the point they made my daughter uncomfortable. I don’t know what’s going on with the males but something needs to be done, they’re ruining lives.
I'm glad you noticed. Death by proxy has always been a real thing in DV cases.
@@wisdomdantecourt8179 yeah I’m doing all that I can to teach her to pay attention to people’s words vs actions. Pay attention to boys/young men that throw tantrums when things don’t go their way. Pay attention to boys who depend too heavily on their mothers, etc. , because those kind of males are dangerous to women, until I see otherwise.
A lot of boys are being coddled too much, they’re being raised by ignorant scorned women that ‘don’t need a man for nuffin’. I work for CPS, I try to get single moms help. A lot of services out here that ppl don’t know about. I refer them all to mentor programs, extra curricular activities, therapies, etc. it’s not just about removing kids, it’s about trying to help these kids grow up to be successful adults. Teaching respect, love, compassion, how to problem solve and address anger properly. It’s not just black families either, all races are affected.
@@alexajay6896
Yeah, stop coddling the boys. Stop it.
In a woman and I learned how to make rice at 8. Make sure they are men in training as soon as they developed personality at 2. Teach independence... then comes confident, but with all these lessons always be nurturing. As soon as they're born, hugs, kisses, make them soup when they get sick, or just coming back from the dentist.
@@peacelove7437 I’m raising a daughter. Raising boys is not my concern, that’s up to the “community” I’m trying to protect my child from their mind games and cruelty.
The reason a lot of us stay is because we are made to look like the problem to the outsiders and we know when we finally leave it's the scariest moment. I was abused for 15 years and when I finally got out I was stalked for 5 year and proved multiple times I was not as safe as I thought I was. My ex tried to kill me multiple times and I now suffer from PTSD and have a hard time trusting people or going in public alone.
wow...ppl so worried about what the world think..he choked me with a phone cord in the 80s..thats all i needded to RUN and never look back !!
🙏✝️❤️
What's did u do to heal
I was a victim of domestic violence by my ex - husband and survived. Please talk to someone if it's happening to you.
I never understood why victims of domestic violence always get bashed for not leaving their abuser but yet there is not enough protection for them if they do decide to .There needs to be stricter laws against this its ashame smh this world we live in is so full of evil praying for the victims and their families🙏🙏
I believe that no matter how strict the laws are, people don't care about that. It's very disturbing how evil peo0le are.
I just left domestic survivor relationship 11 mths ago .MDN who hit women should be ashamed of themselves and they are evil
Exactly the victim is ALWAYS blamed. It’s like how come the abuser just go the heck away!!! Geez I feel terrible from the violence it’s too much for people!!
I have been there...I am a survivor..."why did you stay" what people don't understand is the same fear that makes you want to leave is the same fear that makes you say...sounds strange but you wouldn't understand unless you have been through it...
So true!
after that first incidence i was out these men dont change !!! - he choked me with a phone cord in the 80s- and that was the last time a man put his hands on me !! im ok being alone, i love me MORE then any man
TRUE
I don't even know how I got on this end of the internet today. I've watched about 4 DV videos this afternoon. Condolences to everyone who shared their stories. May you all find peace and a very special comfort that will last always.
I'm a survivor of domestic violence. I've been strangled, beaten, kicked, threatened, isolated, locked up and cut with a knife. I thought I loved this man and because I number the pain from the beatings with drugs I couldn't see what was actually happening to me. I went to rehab with a black eye and when he came to visit me he made a joke about the state my face was in. Getting clean saved my life because when I got sober I could see things much more clearly. I prayed to God through out our relationship for him to ask me to marry him, and we spoke about children all the time. Now I know he was protecting me and I am so grateful. It's been 5 weeks since he last hit me and I don't regret leaving him one bit. I can finally have peace despite the nightmares. I recently ran into a friend again but this time it feels like there's a genuine connection. We are going on a 'date' tomorrow. I know it might be too soon to date so I'm taking it very slow and not expecting anything. I don't want to mess up my next relationship, because I know I deserve to be cared for. I pray for everyone still stuck in abusive relationships.. I don't wish it on my worst enemy
Cut off all ties to that man. CHANGE UR NUMBER, JOBS, APARTMENT, ETC. ITS FOR UR OWN SAFETY AND PEACE OF MINE. THANK U FOR BEING BRAVE TO LEAVE. JUST STAY AWAY FROM HIM AND ANYONE LIKE THAT. ALSO WHOEVER U ARE WITH DO NOT TELL THEM UR STORY, U NEVER KNOW PPL INTENTIONS AND PPL USE UR STORY AGAINST YOU. IM PROUD OF U EVEN THO WE DONT KNOW U. I HOPE MY WORDS ARE HELPFUL AND U FIND COMFORT IN IT.
These stories need to be on national television shows
If youve come to the comments for affirmation if this video is worth the watch,...IT IS...ITS RAW & REAL its going to IMPACT EVERYONE who watches,..this documentary PUTS YOU IN PLACE ITS LIKE BEING THERE & IT PUTS YOU IN THE FEELINGS OF THESE FAMILIES,...This deserves so much recognition its truly amazing & MAY ALL THESE BEAUTIFUL WOMEN, FAMILIES, EVERYONE whos been a victim of domestic violence rise up & shine the light for others to see ☮️❣️🙃
The thing is women do tell..sometimes. They often aren’t believed or it’s trivialised.
Yes, I went through this, someone thought I was a paranoid mess in the end, that I was exaggerating the situation. The police didn't they took me very seriously luckily. Nearly 2 years on im still coming to terms with my experience and the potential danger I was in. The police and outreach worker did a risk assessment. I was high risk for serious bodily harm and homicide. I'll forever be grateful to them... the individual also started to spin towards the arrest that I was abusive, so when the police called me I was in absolute bits thinking he had reported me for something I didn't do
I was mostly bullied by boys in school, my father came to the school each time coz he's like "no one touches my kids" I'm glad he never said oh he's hitting you coz he likes you,coz sooo many people say this to girls, till this day if someone talks out the side of their neck I cut em off immediately, sadly not everyone had the same luck as me..
Sadly not everyone has the same boundaries as you as well and I hate that for our girls that later become women
Do not remain silent. Speak out. Confide in someone.
My ex-husband started out with the verbal abuse before it progressed to sexual & physical too. I really can’t stand it whenever I hear the “Why didn’t you just leave?”. Unless you’ve been in an abusive relationship yourself you really have no place judging & you have no place asking “Why didn’t you just leave?”. It’s not like the relationship starts out wrong, usually abusers start out slow, with the emotional and/or verbal abuse. Domestic violence is mostly about control & most abusers know that it’s a process that has multiple “steps” to achieve the “control” over the other person they want. I finally left after six years, after he almost killed me & our daughter. I still remember how surprised he was when he finally realized I wasn’t coming back this time & that I wasn’t going to forgive him again. Before I was with him I remember growing up swearing that I’d never put myself into that situation, I thought I was too “smart” to be fooled by someone like that. I was wrong, abuse really has no set type of person it can only be experienced by. Doesn’t matter how smart, how much money you have, what race or gender you are, you can still become a victim. It’s been almost 20 years since I left & I’m still “not over it” & I’m still very much bitter & angry towards him. Even if I never have to see him again I think I’ll always be angry & bitter over what he put me & our daughter through. Even though my daughter was only 4 when it ended & it’s been almost 20 years I can still see the effects seeing & hearing his abuse has had on her. I don’t know if it’s “worst” for her because she is mentally disabled & so even though she’s an ‘adult’ in body her mind is stuck at around 6-8 years of age. Given what she saw & her disabilities it’s not surprising that she can sometimes get violent towards me even though the last 18 years of her life have been completely different to what our life was before. I’m fortunate to be remarried to a wonderful man who is amazing with my daughter, it takes a lot to take on someone else’s kid let alone a disabled kid at that. I know that we are truly lucky & blessed to have him in our lives.
Someone told me:
“Forgiveness releases the forgiver”
so let go! Free yourself. I finally reached forgiveness after I wrote and had published a poem about my domestic violence. Hope something “frees you”. Been there.my heart goes out to you. Your “happy ending” is your life with your current husband.
The last thing the abuser wants is for you to be happy without them. Well done!
Congratulations!❤️❤️❤️
You ENABLED the abuse to continue by staying. You have to be accountable for enabling the abuse to affect your children who heard/witnessed it. I hate when women ENABLE abuse, and negate any form of accountability for the danger they put their kids/family/friends in.
@@dustindustindontworry-jz8dhshut the entire fuck up you psychopath. how the fuck you hear someone’s trauma & you blame them. she is the VICTIM in this she holds no responsibility for a GROWN persons actions. HE should be the only one blamed. I hope you go through something traumatic & when you reach out someone blames you, invalidates your experience & shuts you down. you disgusting human garbage.
I'm a female survivor. Have witnessed violence done to my Mother. Literally pausing this video for a bit...The screams are haunting. I am so sorry for everyone that has been through this, & to those loved ones that survive those that didn't make it out. One of the greatest evils of all time.
Thank you for sharing this powerful video.
Glad you enjoyed it!
OMG! That was the VERY most gut-wretching statement I have ever heard about Domestic Violence! That was so EFFECTIVE!
My friend Shannon she was on Montel Williams show she was shot 5 times by her ex husband in front of their 4 children then he shot himself dead. She still has a bullet in her, she remarried her kids are grown her new husband is great she became an alcoholic a verbally abusive I pray for her. 😊
The abused sometimes become the abusers sadly😢!!!
A lot of men’s think that they own women’s 😞
I do not even let my kids play fight. I don’t let my daughter talk aggressive to her brothers and vice versa. I do my best to try to prevent behavior of violence and pray that I did well by my children. I wasn’t always this way but I am gentle parenting at a late age and it’s working well for me.
Thank you for your testimony. My daughter is only six I feel like I have failed her in many ways. I’m not angry by nature but a lot we have been put through has left me angry and bitter. I’m done with that though I know I can fix myself and change the narrative just like you did
Destiny was a beautiful girl, her Mother loved her more than anything else in this world. Her hurt is evident everyday 😢❤ RIP to all these amazing women
Sometimes we stay because they have PROMISED to kill those we love the minute we leave. (i remember when my first husband informed me he had apologized for the abuse while i was hostage before the police intervened & gave me a 10m head start before turning him loose to track me, back in the 70s ... He felt he had expressed his remorse long enough & informed me unless i came home he was blowing up my father's home with my pregnant baby sister in it. And he had previously blown up a police officer's FAMILY car in their driveway for giving him a ticket for doing 90 in a residential area. He definitely was capable of that. Another time he encouraged me to accompany a friend on a road trip, extremely cordial & insisting it would do me good. Just before she picked me up, he told me to make sure i told my pup goodbye. And casually added, "the minute you go thru that door, I'm breaking his neck." And he would have. So i don't disrespect people for staying. We don't know how someone else is being extorted and intimidated.
Thank you for sharing! Thank God for protecting you.
Trauma bonding is a very strong bond!
Especially when you are protective person as well
When you left, did he go after your family? I know someone in a situation like this and her family won’t intervene, and she won’t leave because of those threats. He won’t even let her out the house without him.
@@candice446 does she have family or friends out of the state that is willing to help her for a few months? Does she have children? There are programs out there that will help women like her. I too was a victim of DV. If she wants to leave she has to do it quietly and trust maybe maybe only 1 person. The moment she leave she needs to get in contact with the police and tell them her name she is fine and her situation also put a restraining order on him. That way if he puts a missing report out they wouldn't take him seriousl.
We are taught to forgive. DV+forgiveness =death. Period. I wish nothing but peace for all the women who have suffered at the hands of cowards. I want to wrap my arms around them and tell them I love you. This film has me in tears…I have never been in a DV situation because I made up in my mind that I will rather do time in prison before I let a coward terrorize me. Forgiveness is for the Lord and your mother as for me I don’t want to talk to anyone except my attorney. I just never tolerated violence because I would say to myself if I stay I’m going to jail if he put his hands on me. No talking I’m done period.
I lied so well after 28 years people think he's a great guy. I've lost myself. I'm hoping to find me again.
Moving and raw. Wish every American would see this, what an eye opener that would be. Well done.
I can't fathom how people are able to harm someone that they're supposed to love and protect. Be it a child, husband, or wife. Just like I don't understand why people hurt strangers- you don't know them, you don't know how many people are waiting for them to come home.
Thank you so much for sharing this 🤍
I was a victim of domestic abuse too. 3 years, of physical, emotional and sexual abuse. I got out at the tail end of last year, and he then stalked me for months.
Through all the times he forced me to have sex, choked me until i passed out, held me down, everything - the worst feeling of all was when I tried to comfort him, and he pushed me off the bed onto the cold floor. I just sat and cried, through everything the absolute worst part was that total feeling of rejection and being thrown aside.
The only reason I got out was because of my friends, after I confided in them and they encouraged me to leave.
For anyone who may be going through something similar, the first person you tell will be the hardest part, but it's so necessary. Once you start talking, you'll get closer and closer to getting out and finding someone who will ACTUALLY love you and not hurt you!!
xx
Thank you for sharing your story, I'm so sorry that this happened to you 😢 stay strong and keep moving forward
@@lorettaforeman8925 Thank you so much !! I'm doing a lot better now, sharing it always does help x
@@tokkirot good for you, I got out of my verbal and emotional abusive relationship many, many years ago and found the love of my life, I'm so very happy for you and I do understand how much it helps to talk about the situation, God bless you and yours, keep moving forward 💖💖
I'm glad you out that situation Lil sister God was watching over you 🙏 🙌 God bless you
Stop blaming the victim to start with and put the spotlight on the perpetrator male or female! Very little is being said about the one doing the abusing!
I don't think anything said was victim blaming. Most of it was testimony from the victims reminding us that none of this is OK and you need to leave.
@@shonuff7612 This remark was not. Intended for the video but for a few of the commenters!
Despite my remarks my intention is not to leave but to inspire more discussion but thank you for your timely response! 👵🏽☝🏾🦢☪️🦢✡️🦢✝️🦢🙏🏽
@kathyborthwick6738 after reading your reply your comment makes alot more sense lol I misunderstood what you ment.
ppl think these ninjas are gonna change-- a man choked me with a phone cord in the 80's i walked away the same day and never looked back ONCE was enough for me!! dont be afraid to be alone and move on with your life black eyes and a house full of kids that you cant afford is NOT LOVE!!!
When are we going to change the narrative from " why didn't you leave"?
Instead ask " Why won't he stop abusing me"?
you want to change the narrative from life saving practicality of escape to...what?why are they like that?????some people are bad but what is certain is they do not change and the whys?of it is pointless
.so educate my children on personal sexual preferences but, they cant be taught what unhealthy relationships look like!? Thats the world we live in....🤬
I’m 47 and a survivor. 2 15 year relationship and 1 1/2 years finally single. If you do the math you will see Iv spent most of my life with a mans foot against my neck. I once was made to dig my own grave. As he stood over me taking the shovel to hit me with it.It took me what seemed like hours until the sun started to dawn. With each shovel of dirt I weeped silently inside. That empty hole was a reminder for me every morning and night. I was only aloud to live cause he let me. I could go and on with the torment which was my life for 30 years. It’s still alive in my mind and the wounds it left have been more that just physical. I would always say I would rather be beaten that to have the emotional and mental scars I bare today. At least those wounds heal.I’m only here by the grace of God.
What's crazy is the kids from domestic violence...I saw my dad beat the crap out of my mom and fast forward now married with kids and I'm still messed up. My Mom rolled out and the abuse both physical and sexual turned toward my sister and me. I wake up every day having to convince myself not to go and kill dude who happens to be my father. Haven't seen dude in about 15 years which I guess is for the best...This doc hits so deep...
I resonated with you. I live an hour away from this fu(k nigga and I have waves where Im like to myself, lets go kill this dude.
By the grace of God, I am a DV survivor
I love women being brave to tell their story . I remember I first dated a guy who punched me in the face because he was so insecure and I didn’t see it coming . Long story short he had a criminal record and the very first thing was that I changed my phone number , moved out , got a restraining order , and tried to get away from that monster . He use to stalk me and threatened me and that was the last straw for me .
No women want be round men like that
Thankyou for sharing your story I’m so sorry this happened to you I know how painful it is and what happened to me is painful it’s not easy to live live in pain everyday. It’s not fair.
I'm a survior too and stonger then ever in every aspect of my life.
I am a survivor of domestic violence was with my ex husband for 14 years repeatedly hit on and emotionally abused by the man I thought loved me he held me hostage, was held at gun point, was strangled, busted lips, Raped, watching him turn on my kids i knew i had to get away.. after him I got with another man and this man was 10× worse he left me for dead in a hotel room and threaten my daughter to shoot her she was only 14 looking back on my life I can only say God definitely was with me and my kids during these dark hours/times of my life 💔 I say girls abuse either emotionally or physical ain't love please don't be blinded by what you think is love and get far away free yourself
My heart hurts. I Love you, I'm crying and I stand with every woman, man, child who experiences the increasing DV. One DV victim affects every last one of us and we have to stand together to offer support not judgment not controlling or trying to determine what another person should do because until you walk a mile in your shoes you don't know.
Women who have lost their lives to DV rest peacefully in heaven 🕊️ because your life was not in Vain.
The courage some women have is air measurable because leaving and deciding when you're not going to take it anymore is the most dangerous.
"You gone bathe the black off that baby"😂😢❤
That speech the lady in the beginning gave was monumentally moving.
The pain in the father and mothers voice broke me 😢
There is definitely a problem with so many males being abusive to their mates. Because of this fact women need to run for their lives at the 1st sign of a red flag. Too many lives being lost.
Destinees mother looks the same age as her. I was confused at first.
Financial abuse is just as bad when you don't have enough for food and starving
I pray this video touches someone right where they are and empowers them to get the help they need.
Thank you for this documentary and everyone who shared their story i will be watching this with my daughter as someone who grew up seing my mother be beaten on a daily you either grow up knowing thats not love or believing that it is love i know people on both sides GOD bless these families 🙏🏽❤
Nope. I have been Single for over a Decade & have never put up with this. First Sign..I am gone.
🎯💯
It really is about personal accountability
I feel sorry for these people but… not going to front like we don’t live in a society and more specifically a community where the women who are coupled up think they’re better than those who are not. Or think that single women want they ol raggedy man. Smh.
Great advice!
This is heartbreaking
This was beautiful thank you ladies & men for sharing yaw stories .
I don’t want to be a statistical 7-9. I’ve already left at least four times. If I don’t stay in this RV with him on his parents property I’m going to have to find a homeless shelter. I’ve never been to one. It’s beginning to seem better than this place, but I’m not alone. I feel like I’ll lose my Daughter if I go to the homeless shelter. I can’t believe this is even happening. I’ve no mother or father or siblings to reach out to. No friends either.
run !!!
you ae protected by spirit and their is a reason you are watching this video i had no one either and i made it alone with my daughter
Remember we aren't victims we're survivor's. I thank the one above for saving me I left the first time ( his eyes freaked me out during the incident and i was SA i knew he'd kill me if i stayed) it breaks me sometimes that not many women and men could. To this day I have a son I teach him the importance of treating everyone with respect. Don't put your hands on women and don't let her touch you. The first hit fight with everything in you to leave never come back. My condolences to everyone whose lost someone to DV
Great advice!
My deepest condolences to the family)y 🎉 all I can do is cry as I pray over her spirit 😢 as a DV survivor myself ❤ R.I.P beautiful
I'm a survivor too and Honeslty just stayed for 10 years because of love and fear of what he would do. Until one day he almost killed me and that was the last day we ever spent together. ❤
Mr. Farrow....what a wonderful Dad he is!
Very sad stories. I feel so sorry for the victims 😢 I worked as a volunteer counsellor at a Domestic Violence Charity. Have helped women escape to refuges, but also not judged them if they remain in abusive relationships until they feel ready to love. One thing I would say is that nobody’s love is more important than the love you should have for yourself. Nobody who loves you would intentionally hurt you. You might feel fearful of leaving and be more at risk but you are 💯 already living in fear and 💯 at risk when you stay.
The new reporter lady or cop>>> like!!! It doesn’t matter if ppl are strippers, crackheads or whatever, no one deserves to just get their taken; especially not so brutally.
Back in the Bronx I watched my stepdad beat my mother from the time I was 4 , until I turned 13. If he wasnt beating her, I'd hear my bestfriends mother who lived 2 doors down from me getting beat by her husband. Back in the 80s there was no where to run for rhese women. Police would laugh about the incident and just tell My stepdad to go away for the night TILL MY MOTHER COOLED OFF. MY mother was lucky to get away with her life; but the memories still burn inside her today.
I went from being a teenage prostitute to a victim of a Narcissistic Husband. I just want peace at this point. Im tired and stuck.
"I saw them get thrown up against the lockers by her little boyfriend... I don't know if thats violence tho?" For real I am worried about these kids 😅 they are really got out in the world on their own with that level of intelligence and it's terrifying
She kept dropping it every time she went to the police because he kept making her think that he was sorry each time and that it would never happen again, but it kept happening until the day that he did the unthinkable I’m guessing
Need to find out what 'love' really means.
Priyanka Chopra:
"My mom always says that when a woman is financially independent, she has the ability to live life on her own terms. That was the best advice I ever got. No matter where you go in life, or who you get married to, you have to be financially independent. You don't know which curve balls life will throw at you. Hence, you need to have the ability to take care of yourself and people whom you love. It gives you the ability to protect yourself when life happens, to stand on your own feet and say that's alright, I can do something about it without being helpless."
That's why it's good to know the Creator (God) before the evil days come. Ecc. 12:1. Amen. I am also a domestic violence survivor. 1994, 2003, and 2006. By the Grace of God, I made it out. I am single and at peace. Amen.
The problem...laws that do not protect the victims....i should be able to shoot on site as soon as he or she comes around after restraining order. Prison time for breaking restraining orders etc...these stories should be different. They should be survivors ....not resting in peace ❤...my condolences 🙏
Yup. The consequences for breaking a restraining order is fckn LAUGHABLE
It's not love. It's all about control
I lost everything due to DV and started completely over. When I am having a tough time adjusting to the losses, I have to remind myself that I am still alive. If someone threatens your life, please believe them. Please do not be afraid to start over financially, it doesn't matter if you can't even live to have the money you are staying for. Find a way to love yourself and know you are worthy without them. My great grandmother was killed in front of her children in a domestic violence situation. My grandmother saw this, first husband was abusive before she married my grandfather. My mother was in an abusive relationship when she had me. I almost died from domestic violence myself. I have to stop this cycle. If you are going through this now and have children, please consider if you'd rather raise them in poverty by starting over, or risking losing them to murder.
I think men have the difficulty of people not taking them seriously when they reveal they're being abused. Almost as if they aren't a "strong" man because how could they let it happen. I don't think thats fair.
My name is Ashley and I support this channel ❤
Please can somebody help me. I’m so alone and frightened for my life on a daily basis. I feel like nobody cares. I need someone to talk to
Are you ok I’m just seeing this channel 😢
Only God can help you. Talk to Him. Have faith and talk to Him. 100% guaranteed He will answer. I know. I am a domestic violence survivor. I survived by the grace of God. Amen.
I really do think that this extreme behavior and violence against women by these men is a symptom of a severe mental illness. Don't you? It's not normal and the extent of it has never been so public and so new, so widespread. I think it must be some kind of illness that makes them suddenly turn so violent to people to whom they formerly expressed love and affection. What could give men the idea that they can treat anyone that way, much less the women and children whom they usually love and protect from harm? The image of manly courage and care seems to be totally lacking in them.
its always been as widespread as it is now, if not more. it wasnt even a crime until the 70s, and even then only the most straightforward evil strong man beats scared helpless woman was recognized. since we started seeing women as people we're talking about it more now, which is good! but it was once considered normal behavior, and was obviously more widespread then.
@@cassidy7315 Was going to say the same. Women suffered in silence and were never allowed a voice. This is pervasive in male culture and cheerleaded on by other men. Until men themselves stand up en masse and stop empowering abusers, it will continue.
My ex boyfriend who abused me definitely had a lot of unchecked mental issues and unresolved trauma, but refused to go to therapy even though he promised every time he hurt me that he would stop and get help
I truly think some people can get help and never abuse again but some people are just wired a certain way, I still love my ex boyfriend despite how much he hurt me - and that's one of the most confusing parts of domestic violence. How can someone be so loving and then, like flipping a switch, turn evil?
It seems the hardest challenge for anyone being abused is to leave their abuser. I never understand it until it happened to me. Strength, courage and support is what’s needed. The abuser also needs help. There’s help out there for everyone and I hope they find it. God bless.
I don’t think it’s mental illness in most cases. It’s men feeling insecure and envious and wanting to assert power and control over women. Other times, it’s unresolved and misdirected anger. Other times, it’s sadistic tendencies and they get a buzz out of it.
Dear Lord Please Protect And Heal All Living In This Vicious World ❤In Jesus Christ Name Amen
My Condolences 💐 she was a beautiful Angel 😇 it get better but it never goes away I’m sorry for y’all loss 🙏🏼💕
Smh 🤦🏾♀️ I went through the same thing my sister husband killed her then killed him self 😢😢 nobody would ever understand
You've to leave these broken men alone.
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE SEND ME LINKS TO RESOURCES ETC. I AM HOMELESS AND LIVING IN MY CAR DUE TO MY DOMESTIC VIOLENCE ENCOUNTER IN APRIL 2024. IVE BEEN ASKING PPL WHAT TO DO BUT NO RESPONSES OR HELK
Whether Christian or not people need to read and live in obedience to God and what His Word says and this will cut alot of the murders, violence and unwed mothers
Amen. 💯
The worst thing that can happen to anyone.
R.I.P to all these women 😢🙏🏼
I stayed for 13 years I got with him when I was 15 until I was 28 it was slow he would hit me like once or twice a year but I thought no one would help me that's what he had me believe he would hit me in head no marks my word against his
Ok, so I understand being terrified, I was involved with a Narcissist, who after 1yr. Or so, he started with trying to make me loose my mind by removing some of my things from my purse or stealing my rings , moving my things around , he went as far as to put a woman's barrettes in the sheets to try and make me jealous and cause a scene so I would look bad, we connected after yrs. of not seeing each other , he was also my fit boyfriend in elementary , fast forward, I was so in love and happy and he knew it , then started the verbal abuse, not so much name calling but other forms, believe me in the beginning I was so happy like we're together forever, he was not who I thought he turned out yo be ,also was a alcoholic but never hit me I made it clear from the start I would never put up with that , of course he denied it all and made me look like crazy which was his plan, thank God I had the strength to make a plan to never go back , and I didn't, he mentioned that he didn't I would leave like that ,and yes he tried talking to me through social media, asking me to come back- WHAT ! My point is I seen the signs let it go for awhile , then it got scary for me , even his daughter told me if you don't feel safe get out, , , my strength in God helped me .
As a survivor it is not easy to leave. For me, I was moving out and moving on- I didn’t want anything from the marriage just to be away from him and he hated that I could move on without him and be successful. He was hater and one time I really Fought back i blacked out and woke up in jail. Thought I offed him but I didn’t. He lied it came to me and I was going to charged but they realized he was the aggressor. He never hit me again after that night. He got married one week after the divorce. His wife tried to bully me but after a few years I’m sure she’s seen his true character. She reached out on Fb asking me for resources and because she’s someone’s daughter I sent it to her and blocked her because I don’t want that drama back in my life.
Something that I feel like most people can't except is when you use physical discipline on your children you kinda set the stage that the if someone loves you it's OK for them to beat you and if you love someone you neee to beat them to show it. Physical discipline takes place and is promoted in ALOT of Black and Hispanic homes and then we wonder why we have soo many problems in our communities. And I guarantee someone will read this and say a good ass whipping will keep your kids out of trouble.
Somebody will
Bullshit. I knew it was wrong when I saw my parents getting physical with each other ( mom was the aggressor)at 6 years old...and I get spankings because we're immigrants from Southeast Asia.
Spanking is okay when kids know why...
It’s promoted in white homes too. White mothers are quick to choose violence
That's why I don't believe in hitting children. I stop spanking my children by the time I had my third child. It just seems like domestic violence towards children.
YESSSS! I had to explain this to my mom
Are there any organizations that fight the abuse survivors face in family court?
In Michigan cps will take your children if your the victim of d.v.😢
Yep
Cali will send CPS out
@@R3cuzican smh how does that help tho? It's like getting victimized twice!!!
@@domodomo4032 the mother choosing to remain in a dangerous environment affects the child. The father or step father choosing to be violent can and often times has ended with the child being also abu5ed or UNALIVED.
Children lives have been taken just to hurt the mother who after a LONG TUMULTUOUS relationship finally chooses to leave. NO CHILD DESERVES THAT!!!! and if the mother chooses to forgive and remain with her abu5er then removing the child and placing them in a safe environment (with other healthy and non vi0lent relatives hopefully) is a good idea.
Not all sufferers of DV cannot leave, unfortunately A LOT CHOOSE NOT TO, due to psychological, sexual, financial, mental, emotional or spiritual reasons. Either way, the child ALWAYS ENDS UP BECOMING an INNOCENT VICTIM.
ALOT OF THESE MEN (and women) who abu5e their partners were once children who were forced/subjected to watch and experience such brut@lity themselves whilst growing up. It was learnt behavior that they now themselves perpetrate, and see no issue with. So allowing a child to remain in the custody of a parent who frequently gets abu5ed places the child at a risk of developing into an abu5er or abu5ee.
So if your reported as abu5ed and upon investigation you are cohabitating/entertaining/remaining with your accu5er then your choices are now a danger to the child. No one can force an adult to end a relationship and if it unfortunately ends TRAGICALLY, limiting INNOCENT CHILDREN from being victims is top priority. Children cannot protect themselves and have no say on who their biological and step parents are.
So if upon investigation the decisions of the parents are not in the best interest of the child, then YES the law must intervene, and do what the parent is failing to do.
Not if you make the abuser leave then you can keep your kids but most women won't make the abuser leave
I am a survivor of an 8year relationship i just want to know why do i have to keep running
Fall down on your knees and call on Jesus Christ. He's the only One who can help you. Amen.
I like myself and I'm not going to change..the exact words I've heard before…
Learn how to protect yourself ladies..... love don't hurt physically hurt
😢 my hart gose out to her and family prayers❤.
Thank God I’m a Survivor
My heart hurts listening to this ! ! I'm so Sorry ! ! !