wrong. The guy im talking to work is being on the phone, taking calls and talking to people so its hard to get back and text while your working. I worked at a salon and we were not aloud to have our phone on the floor so from 9-5 im usually completely unavailable . if were not texting back right away its kuz we have a life outside our phone
In short, just keep living your life. You had a life long before you met this man, and your life will continue on just fine, with or without this man in it. No sense in settling for cold and indifferent.
I totally think a men chase woman when they think the woman ain't paying no attention to them case then thats when they wanna chase you..but the minute you act interested they start acting differently...there weird lol
It drives me crazy how at the beginning they are so attentive and the text back right away continuously and then once you get into the relationship all of the sudden he'll say things like well I was at work, or I was busy.. which is fine and understandable but they were doing the same things at the beginning of the relationship and they made time then. I understand that the Dynamics change in relationship as time goes on but..gah
Yeah the dynamics change because he believes he has you locked down, as opposed to how he acted when he was trying to get your time energy and attention
Thank you, Helena! I needed to hear that. Just starting dating again after having been single for a long time and have gained a lot of masculine energy. It got me ahead in a corporate world, but nowhere in love life. Now I know why. You make great videos that help us ladies here keep our hearts and minds straight. Much love to you.
It is disrespectful though if a guy texts you to find out when you can come by & you respond right away to confirm when they’ll be at a specific place then they don’t respond. That IS disrespectful. It shows they just don’t respect your time or your own schedule. I’m referring to a professional based matter, not personal though, but same difference. The times that he has followed up, I have complimented a few times but patterns are patterns & I notice those pretty quick. When it’s a pattern, complimenting them each time for the follow up is like settling & telling them it’s ok that they keep acting this way. It’s not something that you should have to discuss with them over & over then fall back like “oh I do appreciate you”. Men get used to what woman allow when it comes to treatment & if you allow someone to keep doing the same thing by telling them through compliments “it’s ok”, then that translates to them that they can continue acting the same way because you’re still going to tolerate it. Um, NO I won’t.
Agreed 💯! I think she needs to focus on how to draw boundaries in a soft feminine way. Perhaps simply ditch the guy if he doesn't get it after the first reminder how to treat you?
This is something we should all know but society has created distractions and whatever forces have been undermining self esteem. Thank you, Helena and Matthew ❤️
My opinion is.. If you are taking the time to search for video's to get tips on what to do right because being yourself isn't working, then you need to walk away! He obviously is selfish and only wants you around when it's beneficial to him. Don't change for anyone! Men are a dime a dozen and what one man won't do another one will gladly! If you are constantly getting your feelings hurt because he is ignoring you or not responding to your text as he did in the beginning just know, you are in the wrong season. Nothing you can do to change that! And if you take this advice and allow your feelings to be walked on well... Grow some thick skin because it will never change. Once he see's you will put up with his shit he will keep pushing you to see what he can get away with.. Oh but I am sure there is a video for that as well..
lol, first of all, let me tell you how ridiculous it is that the uploader commented on what you had to say, just because you have a different opinion... People aren't watching your video just because you are a perfect princess and they agree with everything you have to say. Stop acting like you know everything in the world and be open to others' opinion as well - bugging them for disagreeing with you is so unprofessional you can't even imagine with that narrow eyesight... Secondly, the comment is not stupid at all, in fact, it is realistic.. a comment which many women don't want to hear. But they will realize it 10-20-30 years later, when things go so wrong that they become bitter and full of paranoia / hate. I don't think we realize how relationships can play with our sanity... a man who wants you to question why he doesn't text/call, is a man who feeds you paranoia, makes you doubt yourself. That isn't love. And love shouldn't be about self sacrifice that is just one sided. Keep listening to these women with the fifties' mentality and you will end up realizing that shit doesn't apply. Everyone has a limit. And if a person loves you, they shouldn't test your limit. I think there are enough women tolerating their partners alpha shit: when their partner isn't in the mood to talk, they don't (just because he's the boss), then when he comes back you open your legs wide and smile. Pathetic. Can anyone be more desperate than that? Think about it, that's the definition of a desperate bitch. And if you're telling me you love them... well... considering you love a partner who shits on your feelings, maybe you should reevaluate your mental health. We are not 16 anymore, right? Ditch your dating habits you had back in teenagehood. Welcome to the adult world... the way these men are treating their partners, jeez. I wouldn't event treat a dog like that, honestly. Bonding with someone is love... these mind games ain't. And if you enter a relationship, the most important thing that matters is your empathy compatibility. If he isn't as empathetic as you, then it's a big L. He just doesn't rise to your level, just doesn't have the emotional intelligence you have, and that relationship will never work, sorry.
I honestly didn't think this would work, but it did. In the past, when this guy would ignore my texts, I would usually come back with some snarky comment, or be angry at him. I stumbled on these vidoes yesterday and truly just laughed...until this morning. The conversation went like this: (He had been ignoring my texts at this point for 4 days) Me (7:18 am): "Good morning handsome. Have a wonderful day! Me (12:13 pm): "Boy, you must be super busy if you haven't had a chance to respond. Just know that I am thinking of you. Hope to hear from you soon." Him (12:48 pm) : Responded to text and apologized for not responding earlier and proceeded to light up my phone with what's going on in his life. Also letting me know that he is reading my texts but might not be able to answer right away. Me (12:55 pm): No apologies needed, thank you for taking time to respond, I appreciate it. Have a wonderful day. Talk to you soon."
So let a guy go days with out texting or calling and then respond with warm and openness? So I’m telling him it’s ok to low effort communicate? I don’t know. That doesn’t sound like anyone I’d want around me.
It has happened to me a few times - actually a lot LOL They don't want to say goodnight but your texting (or talking) lulls them peacefully to sleep - I admit, when the conversations are good and fruitful, it's hard to say oops it's getting late we have to get up early because we want to keep that connection going. But, I've learned that I MUST keep it shorter and be more considerate knowing he wants to stay on but he knows he can't keep texting or talking because he gets up earlier. So, I have to take the initiative of saying it's been great, pick it up again tomorrow? Hard to do when you just want to spend time with someone (especially when they are too far away to see often).
Pushing Daisies I totally agree, she really giving the wrong messages advices, omg so much excuses for men, if a guy like a woman he will do anything , texting is only few seconds. She is talking non sense 🤣🤣
I had kind of the opposite that turned me off to a woman when all she wanted to do was text but could not hold a conversation on the phone which is the absolute unsexiest thing in the world. Believe it or not there are people in this world who still want to hear your voice, that triggers an emotion which makes them want to be closer to you. By doing nothing but texting them and refusing to make phone calls you come off like a petulant child. For me it's one of the number one things that turns me away. On a second note in every single relationship that I've either seen or even been in the woman always expects the man to change somehow but she is completely unwilling to change herself in any way that would be conducive to a healthy relationship such as actually being able to make a phone call. Things are crazy right now people are just out of their damn mind and as much as I hate to say it at least for me anyways cell phones have pretty much killed any and all potential relationships that would have otherwise been successful. Nothing is more fun than having a great dinner while somebody's face is in their phone. I don't know for the most part I just find it easier to stay single even as a bisexual man. It just isn't worth it and I was married for 23 years believe me when I tell you ultimately all of the work that you do in a relationship can be undone in a single moment if your partner decides to find greener grass because you're suffering through health issues. Men will stick with women till the end, women will continue to look for resources that will benefit their ultimate desirable outcome. I hear this story over and over and over again and it is horrible and tragic every time
You should be able to talk to each other always. You won’t believe the text relationship that I was in. I wanted to believe him but he love bombed me or nothing- he started out saying he was ready to move on from his ex… but it wound up they live near eachother and he just needed me for emotional support… I wanted to believe him more than I did… listen to your intuition ladies and Enjoy your life. Whatever it is. You are wonderful & bright. God Bless You All
nice direction, on how. to text somebody you like. When men are not in love they never text ladies, as long as they are in love or they love they will text. my question is i like to text back and forth but my heart don't allow me to text any man i like why because I just have that feeling in me some men are not grown up because anything you say to them or text them they will probably show to their friends that closed to them.why this is so too much among men this days?
... Wow! Space and Softness is the magic theme! Thanks Helena! 💓 .. Cant wait to apply this👍😆 Lately, I'd applied 'space and indifference' cause I was pissed by a rude message he'd sent. I feel guilty now. I should be 'soft' as you say. .. In the past, when he pulled away, I'd tell him how I feel each time he did but he gave reasons of being busy with family or work. It started from 3days to 5days intermittently. First 3 weeks of this period, I'd been initiating contact (those were the times he returned after 3 or 5days), so I stopped reaching out; and then he came back on his own after a week! (you're so right when you say the attention should be taken off of him!) We're in a LDR, and he's processing a divorce and he explained he'd sent the rude message cause I'd texted him while he was in divorce settlement meeting with his ex and the lawyers ;and now they all know about our relationship, which he'd wanted to bring to limelight a little after he has settled the divorce issues. It's been 5days since he explained the reason for the rude message, and he'd sounded apologetic 'so-to-say' in his explanatory message, and promised calling but he's yet to do so.. What should I do? Pls give your kind thoughts. Thank you 💞 **sorry for long message **
I completely agree with what you are saying. I have a question, though...What if you are talking to someone and they are flirting and seem very interested and then suddenly stop talking to you? It's been about a week now. Should I just move on and forget about him? I won't chase any man. That is not my job...
I texted him and he replied, then I replied, but he never replied back. I have not sent him another message after he didn't reply. I have not heard from him for almost 2 weeks, and I decided to move on. Then, I saw him last Saturday and he waved his hand like saying "Hi"; he was in his car... he lives in the same area where I live. :(
So how on earth I'm supposed to have my feelings and boundaries protected and my dignity high and just be feminine and welcoming and don't even mention his shitty behavior???
I really sad right now 4month without comnication no contact..i text many2 times but no reply at all.. i giveup n i make my own discision too breakup n going too move on for my new life n find new love better for me ..😣
p s me too. although I knew it better, I got panic, became needy and clingy, texted 20 messages, saw him online active, got no response, he not even read my messages, I guess he blocked me. now what to do, if he appears again? how to heal these mistakes?
I have stopped chasing him and over thinking about him. I am paying more attention onto myself, my happiness, my thoughts, my actions. Somewhere it has also blocked my feelings towards him. It doesnt feels worthy to give so much attention to him now bcoz i dont feel he even realizes it that how much i care about him or just what little things i want from him being his wife, his lover and a mom to our child. I have noticed that it is not just pull away phase but its a part of his personality too to behave like this and i am also somewhere "clingy" by my own personality.
The love of my life who is an ex and been that for over a year, we have recently started to chat but it’s general stuff he’s saying he didn’t want to meet for coffee has he thinks it’s not a good idea..!!!! He says us txting isn’t a problem even though he’s seeing another woman .... he asks about whether I’m with my new fella ect but really am confused as to what he’s really feeling please help ??? X
He always mostly offline..if he's online ,it's only 5-minutes 15 minutes or 1 hour ..he often offline almost a week or more.he frequently online for about 1 hour 2 or 3 x a week.he only texback when he read my messages.but sometimes,when he's online for about 10 minutes,he didn't read my messages yet,then offline ..but I'm just sending him a sweet messages,not a messages that I'm looks desperate.and he appreciates my messages for him while he's gone.but yeah,I'm gonna do that now,cause it's so tiring and frustrating .
J. G. Haha,,it's no more,cause the apps were only we have communicating with is shutdown since July 31..and he is not online again,so there's no other way to continue what we had started..it's just dammmm...😑
Mine was a distancesrelationships. We never meet tho but he always text me everyday but recently it seems getting less. Told me he is busy i understand that. But my last text to him was days ago. I was mad for that. He did said he cares for me. I just dont understand what's happening now.
Karen Goh55 Jesus Christ I am so very sorry about that! Now let me tell you I am also in a long distance relationship with the man I would love to marry someday. The longest we've gone without replying back to each other was a week 1/2! I never replied back to his good night text. I missed talking to him so much! I took a shot and texted him, "Hey, do you remember me?" Well of course he remembered me! We've grown so intimate since then! Now my point is that maybe your bf is very busy! My man does get busy with work etc, but we communicate as much as possible! He doesn't leave me wondering what the hell happened anymore! Did your boyfriend ever communicate with you about what he was working on/doing? Also don't worry about feeling scared of losing him! I sometimes fear my man possibly found a girl, but you know what? I drive him crazy! The good kind of crazy ;) I know he only wants me, just as I only want him.
J. G. He is in the military being deployed . I understand his line of duty for the country. Just that he is American whereas i am Asians here. He not seeing my texts. We been through a lot for almost 2 years now. I have asked if he found someone. He did says no that i am always for him. I am married but my marriage was not a good one and he knows about it. He gave me confidence and support to change to how i am today. My son text him and they both chat too. Just when my son ask if he still with me he never reply too. He accept my kids as his own . I am keeping faith that will text me someday soon. For now i just kerp quiet and texting him . Tho its hard and painful.
Karen Goh55 Hmmm which app do you guys use to chat? Do you know if he's been online? I use Whatsapp, so I know when my man is online/offline. I think it's really great that he accepts you and your son! Here is where I'll tell you that i also understand him being busy, because of his deployment! Is he still in the process of getting deployed or is he already deployed? If he is still in the process of getting deployed I really don't see why he should be ignoring your texts! My friend has a bf who got deployed, but before he ever did they maintained contact. Right now he has sent her letters.
Hi, just ran across my our video today. My situation is that my ex told me he still cares for me and asked if he could call me. Why do they do this and don’t call?
We had a very good convo.and after that he said he needs to charge his battery and after that he doesn't text back all day.i don't know what happen to him.
True love never die, don't give up anything in life all hope is not lost. Do you need your ex back if yes I know a powerful man that can help you get your ex back he helped me too immediately without stress and delay.
eLL aimm Yeah, it is! But you know what? My man gets really busy with work, so sometimes he doesn't have time to reply back 'till later! Also his phone is fucked so yeah haha! Have you asked your man why he leaves you on R?
@@j.g.3063 yeah...its because of work...he been so busy...but...hmmm...its so horrible feeling ever...when he is around...all the mix feeling is gone immediately....😅
Well, we finally got date 3 8 months later. Long distance, busy schedules are a bitch but the reunion, smiles, flowers, and time together was bittersweet. Here we go again lol. I'm still telling myself keep dating other men, keep busy, but I'm so tired of meeting other men when there only seems to be one man I'm interested in. Life's a bitch. Sighhhh Any ladies want to plan some vacations? LOL
I never been in this situation before,where i been texting and talking to a guy for 2 months and 1 week,and we have a good connection and suddenly he started ignoring me,and it's been 11 days so what should I do
hi helena, long time viewer and big fan :) i have a question about how long is it acceptable or appropriate to wait for a man to reply to you? say if he takes a few hours or a few days, at what point should we say something to him as it is taking it too far?like if a man ignores you for over a week for example? lol
I will suggest to you that there is no social contract nor legal contract for texting. A party could negotiate what their expectations are for texting, but even they can be trumped for a myriad of factors that is to long to enumerate here. I feel that if one sends a text and does not receive a response, perhaps the onus can be placed on the sender and their message payload, you did not address this in your vlog. Also, as the sender who does not receive a response, categorizing the lack of a response as a negative behavior is a perception and a feeling generated by the sender. It may not be logical and it may not be a correct response in the specific context. I feel that you are painting with some rather broad strokes.
It sounds like you're either trying to shift the blame from a person responding to a text or you're trying to play devil's advocate. Either way, we're talking about a normal situation where you send someone a text and they don't respond. Sure, maybe they sent 100 texts in the span of 5 minutes... maybe the guy's phone is broke and he didn't receive it. These are extreme cases. In most normal situations... No Response = Negative Behavior
Ya... is that my boyfriend bahavior whole day i been called him hes dont care the next morning he sms me.. i told him talk to me one minute.. after that i not call u anymore i shout at him i mad at him tirrible eanger i told him... two days ago until now i not sms or call him... i was thought he has another girl..
Yea well I guess I should have watched this video first. Bc I got after my boyfriend for not talking/texting me and he was online. But it’s also complicated because we’ve never met met online from my friend. We send pictures to each other he has called a few times but it’s kind a hard to hear each other. But later I went back on and explained myself a little bit and it was fine
Hello 👋 nice advice 😄 Do you have a video about when you’re meeting some one by message, this guy lives in an other country and we’ve been talking very nice and lately in a romantic way, I told him I will go to his country and live there, but one time he told me that he hope me to go to his country and I reply I hope so to, since that hope word I wrote he started to pull out since that day, we kept texting but he started to reply me less and it took him a lot of time to reply,now he don’t reply me, but I can still see him online because he hasn’t removed me from his contacts, I am going to take English classes before starting a certification to become an english teacher, I still don’t want to text him until i start english classes, because I want him to feel confident about me going to live in his country. I’m not going to live in his country because of him, I’m going because I like his country, but being able to see him it will be great, I’m starting to have feelings for him, so if a relationship happens between him and I, i will be very happy and will let the love exist in my heart for him, am I taking a good decision about the text? Or what should I text him, and after he answers me what should I tell him, please help me because I’m starting to have feelings for him and I think he’s a great guy who has never been disrespectful to me, and we’ve never had fight since we started chatting, we have never talk on the phone but it’s been very nice to message with him. We started talking on these app where you can find friendship and a relationship. Thank you for sharing your videos. My best regards 😄
True love never die, don't give up anything in life all hope is not lost. Do you need your ex back if yes I know a powerful man that can help you get your ex back he helped me too immediately without stress and delay
How do you know he's active on FB messenger? Everyone thought I was for a long time even though I never use it... only to find out my phone always says that I'm active.
Commitment Connection - Relationship Advice it says on the Facebook messenger app : active now or when he was active like 20 mins ago or 2 hours ago. This situation happens with me and my guy, i see him active on FB but he hates texting , go figure!
You can actually turn your fb messager off and on. I do it all the time of I don't want ppl to know whether I'm active or not. I can still look and my messages and respond. It just doesn't show that I'm active.
It just seems like he doesn't do anything right he lies, has cheated and after coming back 8 months and he still won't commit. I have been a bitch to him but that's cause it's the truth. Say if you feel like he doesn't care about you some dating coaches will tell you to pretend he does to show high value. If u have told them the truth I think they don't text back cause they don't want to face themselves. Dating a drug addict :(
So you're dating a guy who's a drug addict who has lied to you and cheated on you? You really need to have more respect for yourself. You're in an abusive relationship right now and it's not going to end well.
Commitment Connection - Relationship Advice Im NOT DOING NO such THING IM nit I'n TO dating guy's whom DO drug's AND I'f he's abusive type OF guy HE SURE IS GOING TO GET dumped I don't LIKE abuse AND THE reason why MY DAD WAS AND alcoholic AND WHEN HE drank that's whence WOULD show HIS abortive side OF HIM SELF trust ME Im NOT against SOMEONE WHO drinks alcoholic beverage YOU JUST NEED TO use common sence to know when it's enough
Focus on Career. Focus on Saving your money. Focus on your own health, mental and Physical. If he backs off, back off even further.
If he is not texting you, he is not into you. MEN GO AFTER WHAT THEY WANT
Hi
wrong. The guy im talking to work is being on the phone, taking calls and talking to people so its hard to get back and text while your working. I worked at a salon and we were not aloud to have our phone on the floor so from 9-5 im usually completely unavailable . if were not texting back right away its kuz we have a life outside our phone
In short, just keep living your life. You had a life long before you met this man, and your life will continue on just fine, with or without this man in it.
No sense in settling for cold and indifferent.
Yes that what l am trying to do
Stop being clingy is my advice!
I totally think a men chase woman when they think the woman ain't paying no attention to them case then thats when they wanna chase you..but the minute you act interested they start acting differently...there weird lol
Lissette Martinez I think that's really true...
Lissette Martinez I noticed that, it looks like they love the chase.
THY KINGDOM COME THY WILL BE DONE for real i thunk they do to cause its ridiculous smh
Lissette Martinez exactly
Wait... are we talking about men, or women?
It drives me crazy how at the beginning they are so attentive and the text back right away continuously and then once you get into the relationship all of the sudden he'll say things like well I was at work, or I was busy.. which is fine and understandable but they were doing the same things at the beginning of the relationship and they made time then. I understand that the Dynamics change in relationship as time goes on but..gah
Yeah the dynamics change because he believes he has you locked down, as opposed to how he acted when he was trying to get your time energy and attention
Becky Kraker girl this what happening to me at first he was attentive to me but now that he knows I like me he pulls away
Becky Kraker he is not the same no more I feel him Distente at first he was wow so up to me now he is different
Very positive approach of analysing
Becky Kraker
Exactly true
God never fail he will allow you to see the real ways of that guy.
Im old fashion old school I'f he's intestead I'n YOU HE Will DO WHAT he needs TO DO FOR YOU
Thanks for the comment Vicky
If you're so 'old fashion' then go to the kitchen and make him something to eat
if it's a pattern of behavior.. let's say he comes back ... and does it again. is this someone we even want to keep?
never beg for a man's attention, plenty of good one's just like some bad ones
I've tried not to text him but I be missing him
Thank you, Helena! I needed to hear that. Just starting dating again after having been single for a long time and have gained a lot of masculine energy. It got me ahead in a corporate world, but nowhere in love life. Now I know why. You make great videos that help us ladies here keep our hearts and minds straight. Much love to you.
It is disrespectful though if a guy texts you to find out when you can come by & you respond right away to confirm when they’ll be at a specific place then they don’t respond. That IS disrespectful. It shows they just don’t respect your time or your own schedule. I’m referring to a professional based matter, not personal though, but same difference. The times that he has followed up, I have complimented a few times but patterns are patterns & I notice those pretty quick. When it’s a pattern, complimenting them each time for the follow up is like settling & telling them it’s ok that they keep acting this way. It’s not something that you should have to discuss with them over & over then fall back like “oh I do appreciate you”. Men get used to what woman allow when it comes to treatment & if you allow someone to keep doing the same thing by telling them through compliments “it’s ok”, then that translates to them that they can continue acting the same way because you’re still going to tolerate it. Um, NO I won’t.
Agreed 💯! I think she needs to focus on how to draw boundaries in a soft feminine way. Perhaps simply ditch the guy if he doesn't get it after the first reminder how to treat you?
This is something we should all know but society has created distractions and whatever forces have been undermining self esteem. Thank you, Helena and Matthew ❤️
This lady knows her stuff👍
Maybe he forgot he's in love with you, text him again.
Erin Pierce lmao
😂😂😂😂😂
🤣🤣🤣
😂😂😂he forgot 😂😂
sound like a man for you lol
Don’t keep texting or calling everyday. I’m a guy I know. If you have any question send me a message.
How
It's been 3 days.. and I haven't heard anything but I know he's really busy. What should I do?
My opinion is.. If you are taking the time to search for video's to get tips on what to do right because being yourself isn't working, then you need to walk away! He obviously is selfish and only wants you around when it's beneficial to him. Don't change for anyone! Men are a dime a dozen and what one man won't do another one will gladly! If you are constantly getting your feelings hurt because he is ignoring you or not responding to your text as he did in the beginning just know, you are in the wrong season. Nothing you can do to change that! And if you take this advice and allow your feelings to be walked on well... Grow some thick skin because it will never change. Once he see's you will put up with his shit he will keep pushing you to see what he can get away with.. Oh but I am sure there is a video for that as well..
Why are you watching this video, lol?
Stupid opinion, but it's still you're opinion and your right to have.
lol, first of all, let me tell you how ridiculous it is that the uploader commented on what you had to say, just because you have a different opinion... People aren't watching your video just because you are a perfect princess and they agree with everything you have to say. Stop acting like you know everything in the world and be open to others' opinion as well - bugging them for disagreeing with you is so unprofessional you can't even imagine with that narrow eyesight... Secondly, the comment is not stupid at all, in fact, it is realistic.. a comment which many women don't want to hear. But they will realize it 10-20-30 years later, when things go so wrong that they become bitter and full of paranoia / hate. I don't think we realize how relationships can play with our sanity... a man who wants you to question why he doesn't text/call, is a man who feeds you paranoia, makes you doubt yourself. That isn't love. And love shouldn't be about self sacrifice that is just one sided. Keep listening to these women with the fifties' mentality and you will end up realizing that shit doesn't apply. Everyone has a limit. And if a person loves you, they shouldn't test your limit. I think there are enough women tolerating their partners alpha shit: when their partner isn't in the mood to talk, they don't (just because he's the boss), then when he comes back you open your legs wide and smile. Pathetic. Can anyone be more desperate than that? Think about it, that's the definition of a desperate bitch. And if you're telling me you love them... well... considering you love a partner who shits on your feelings, maybe you should reevaluate your mental health. We are not 16 anymore, right? Ditch your dating habits you had back in teenagehood. Welcome to the adult world... the way these men are treating their partners, jeez. I wouldn't event treat a dog like that, honestly. Bonding with someone is love... these mind games ain't. And if you enter a relationship, the most important thing that matters is your empathy compatibility. If he isn't as empathetic as you, then it's a big L. He just doesn't rise to your level, just doesn't have the emotional intelligence you have, and that relationship will never work, sorry.
Hay we have to play the same roll that they play.
Exactly
I honestly didn't think this would work, but it did.
In the past, when this guy would ignore my texts, I would usually come back with some snarky comment, or be angry at him.
I stumbled on these vidoes yesterday and truly just laughed...until this morning. The conversation went like this:
(He had been ignoring my texts at this point for 4 days)
Me (7:18 am): "Good morning handsome. Have a wonderful day!
Me (12:13 pm): "Boy, you must be super busy if you haven't had a chance to respond. Just know that I am thinking of you. Hope to hear from you soon."
Him (12:48 pm) : Responded to text and apologized for not responding earlier and proceeded to light up my phone with what's going on in his life. Also letting me know that he is reading my texts but might not be able to answer right away.
Me (12:55 pm): No apologies needed, thank you for taking time to respond, I appreciate it. Have a wonderful day. Talk to you soon."
I love you Helena, thanks for reminder. He is busy now, when he contact me again, I will be receptive and there's no reason to be angry or upset.
Awesome!
That is happening to me right now thank you 🤔
He either didn't text back cuz he blocked me or he wants me to call and not text..when I call he answer..when I text..CRICKETS
I love texting him during his busy days specially during at work :-) but still replying me even hes busy :-D thanks
So let a guy go days with out texting or calling and then respond with warm and openness? So I’m telling him it’s ok to low effort communicate? I don’t know. That doesn’t sound like anyone I’d want around me.
Thank you Helena! Sometimes we need these reminders!
We're glad this was helpful to you Sophie!
Whenever my boyfriend stops texting me back immediately, I assume he fell asleep😂
Could be...
Story. Of. My. Freakin. Life. I literally text him within a minute and he’s already fallen asleep. I WISHi could sleep that easily. Lmao
omg same here!!! LOL
It has happened to me a few times - actually a lot LOL They don't want to say goodnight but your texting (or talking) lulls them peacefully to sleep - I admit, when the conversations are good and fruitful, it's hard to say oops it's getting late we have to get up early because we want to keep that connection going. But, I've learned that I MUST keep it shorter and be more considerate knowing he wants to stay on but he knows he can't keep texting or talking because he gets up earlier. So, I have to take the initiative of saying it's been great, pick it up again tomorrow? Hard to do when you just want to spend time with someone (especially when they are too far away to see often).
Thank you so much😘this is the situation that i am in now by listen to you i know wht im gonna do now..jst to concentrate on myself n move on
I mean you could get a life and just not really worry about it
Jenny McDonagh I like that that's funny
Ohhhhhh
Good idea
Like the song says "You Can't Hurry Love".
So, what you are saying is our feelings shouldn't matter? That we should walk on eggshells around him? How about the way they make us feel?
That's obviously not what I'm saying at all
exacty !
Pushing Daisies I totally agree, she really giving the wrong messages advices, omg so much excuses for men, if a guy like a woman he will do anything , texting is only few seconds. She is talking non sense 🤣🤣
What if he's been silent for 2 weeks without anything leading up to him going silent?
I had kind of the opposite that turned me off to a woman when all she wanted to do was text but could not hold a conversation on the phone which is the absolute unsexiest thing in the world. Believe it or not there are people in this world who still want to hear your voice, that triggers an emotion which makes them want to be closer to you. By doing nothing but texting them and refusing to make phone calls you come off like a petulant child. For me it's one of the number one things that turns me away.
On a second note in every single relationship that I've either seen or even been in the woman always expects the man to change somehow but she is completely unwilling to change herself in any way that would be conducive to a healthy relationship such as actually being able to make a phone call. Things are crazy right now people are just out of their damn mind and as much as I hate to say it at least for me anyways cell phones have pretty much killed any and all potential relationships that would have otherwise been successful. Nothing is more fun than having a great dinner while somebody's face is in their phone. I don't know for the most part I just find it easier to stay single even as a bisexual man. It just isn't worth it and I was married for 23 years believe me when I tell you ultimately all of the work that you do in a relationship can be undone in a single moment if your partner decides to find greener grass because you're suffering through health issues. Men will stick with women till the end, women will continue to look for resources that will benefit their ultimate desirable outcome. I hear this story over and over and over again and it is horrible and tragic every time
Agreed!!!! I always call!
OMG thanks so much for this post. Now I know how to handle this situation the next time it happens.
Thank you soo much for this beautifull advise i learnt alot from you and the way u are explaining is outstanding i love to visit on this channel...❤😍😘
You're welcome!
You should be able to talk to each other always. You won’t believe the text relationship that I was in. I wanted to believe him but he love bombed me or nothing- he started out saying he was ready to move on from his ex… but it wound up they live near eachother and he just needed me for emotional support… I wanted to believe him more than I did… listen to your intuition ladies and Enjoy your life. Whatever it is. You are wonderful & bright.
God Bless You All
nice direction, on how. to text somebody you like. When men are not in love they never text ladies, as long as they are in love or they love they will text. my question is i like to text back and forth but my heart don't allow me to text any man i like why because I just have that feeling in me some men are not grown up because anything you say to them or text them they will probably show to their friends
that closed to them.why this is so too much among men this days?
My man he always txt me but he have no time to video call his always busy if weekend. I don't know if his serious.
Found the texting back helpful.
Yes he may be busy, however men are fine at multitasking, if you are not his #1 I have one word. . .
NEXT#
I knows answer to that he's a cheater gone back to ex girlfriend
Im beautiful unique woman 😂😂😂😂😂 yup
... Wow! Space and Softness is the magic theme! Thanks Helena! 💓
.. Cant wait to apply this👍😆
Lately, I'd applied 'space and indifference' cause I was pissed by a rude message he'd sent.
I feel guilty now. I should be 'soft' as you say.
.. In the past, when he pulled away, I'd tell him how I feel each time he did but he gave reasons of being busy with family or work. It started from 3days to 5days intermittently. First 3 weeks of this period, I'd been initiating contact (those were the times he returned after 3 or 5days), so I stopped reaching out; and then he came back on his own after a week! (you're so right when you say the attention should be taken off of him!)
We're in a LDR, and he's processing a divorce and he explained he'd sent the rude message cause I'd texted him while he was in divorce settlement meeting with his ex and the lawyers ;and now they all know about our relationship, which he'd wanted to bring to limelight a little after he has settled the divorce issues. It's been 5days since he explained the reason for the rude message, and he'd sounded apologetic 'so-to-say' in his explanatory message, and promised calling but he's yet to do so..
What should I do? Pls give your kind thoughts. Thank you 💞
**sorry for long message **
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Never initiate! Men should always initiate and...if he is not initiating...MOVE the fuck ON to the next!
I completely agree with what you are saying. I have a question, though...What if you are talking to someone and they are flirting and seem very interested and then suddenly stop talking to you? It's been about a week now. Should I just move on and forget about him? I won't chase any man. That is not my job...
laurel wright I would definitely move on. I did that on guy and stopped feeling anything for him then he started chasing me but it was too late
Caroline Maingi Thanks, Caroline!
I'd also say move on. Sounds like breadcrumbing to me. If he was really interested he would make the effort.
miffy891 very true girl ,let them chase us ,if he likes you .he will come after you .
I texted him and he replied, then I replied, but he never replied back. I have not sent him another message after he didn't reply. I have not heard from him for almost 2 weeks, and I decided to move on. Then, I saw him last Saturday and he waved his hand like saying "Hi"; he was in his car... he lives in the same area where I live. :(
I love this
Thanks for your support truly appreciate it
He doesn't text back, he gone to his country visit his mom died.
If he is the right one its gonna be easy..u will not have to get into these games and keep analyzing whats going on..simple as that!!
So how on earth I'm supposed to have my feelings and boundaries protected and my dignity high and just be feminine and welcoming and don't even mention his shitty behavior???
Truly soo helpful!!
This is advise for teenagers really
Thanks maam helena valueble advice,god bless I will make apply with it to mine.
I really sad right now 4month without comnication no contact..i text many2 times but no reply at all.. i giveup n i make my own discision too breakup n going too move on for my new life n find new love better for me ..😣
I have done all the mistakes that i should not have done when he pulled himself away. now what should i do?
p s me too. although I knew it better, I got panic, became needy and clingy, texted 20 messages, saw him online active, got no response, he not even read my messages, I guess he blocked me. now what to do, if he appears again? how to heal these mistakes?
I have stopped chasing him and over thinking about him. I am paying more attention onto myself, my happiness, my thoughts, my actions. Somewhere it has also blocked my feelings towards him. It doesnt feels worthy to give so much attention to him now bcoz i dont feel he even realizes it that how much i care about him or just what little things i want from him being his wife, his lover and a mom to our child. I have noticed that it is not just pull away phase but its a part of his personality too to behave like this and i am also somewhere "clingy" by my own personality.
p s Me too it started gurting so bad i had to protect my self
lucia nguyen Lmao
lucia nguyen yes they are😁
Do you vote? Do you know that you can now vote?
You do NOTHING...when he finally does Text you continue to do nothing. If he wants you...make him call. 😉
Agreed. Following you now
If he's not texting back do you recommend to not text for a day or two or will that have the opposite effect?
Stop making excuses for them
The love of my life who is an ex and been that for over a year, we have recently started to chat but it’s general stuff he’s saying he didn’t want to meet for coffee has he thinks it’s not a good idea..!!!!
He says us txting isn’t a problem even though he’s seeing another woman .... he asks about whether I’m with my new fella ect but really am confused as to what he’s really feeling please help ??? X
He always mostly offline..if he's online ,it's only 5-minutes 15 minutes or 1 hour ..he often offline almost a week or more.he frequently online for about 1 hour 2 or 3 x a week.he only texback when he read my messages.but sometimes,when he's online for about 10 minutes,he didn't read my messages yet,then offline ..but I'm just sending him a sweet messages,not a messages that I'm looks desperate.and he appreciates my messages for him while he's gone.but yeah,I'm gonna do that now,cause it's so tiring and frustrating .
Walk away then.Trust yourself. Walk away. If anything, consider it an experiment 😘
Mimi Anastasia Hey! His phone could be fucked up. Don't assume the worst.
J. G. Haha,,it's no more,cause the apps were only we have communicating with is shutdown since July 31..and he is not online again,so there's no other way to continue what we had started..it's just dammmm...😑
Mimi Anastasia Wow !! I am so sorry about that! I hope you're doing okay! What app(s) did you guys use to chat?
thanks for your video i learned...really big help...
This is great!
because he is cheating. Do not waste time women. Go there and earn good money and enjoy it. Do not think on those men as is there ego over you...
the chemistry wasn’t there.
forget about him.
work on yourself.
move on to the next guy.
plenty of guys out there.
Awesome advice. Thank you
You are so welcome, St
But in my case it’s been a week already that we don’t text with a brand new man 😅
get the work done
Lol I love playing the game who will text next because I have time for go lmfao and I have a full life. 😂😂
On a other episode you have with Alex said to mirror his behavior.? So if he didn’t text me back until 4 days later do I wait 4 days to respond?
Mine was a distancesrelationships. We never meet tho but he always text me everyday but recently it seems getting less. Told me he is busy i understand that. But my last text to him was days ago. I was mad for that. He did said he cares for me. I just dont understand what's happening now.
Karen Goh55 Just don't lose your patience on him if you know he is very genuine and keeps it real with you! He could be your future husband.
J. G. I am scare of loosing him so much. It's almost 3 weeks now he ignored me
Karen Goh55 Jesus Christ I am so very sorry about that! Now let me tell you I am also in a long distance relationship with the man I would love to marry someday. The longest we've gone without replying back to each other was a week 1/2! I never replied back to his good night text. I missed talking to him so much! I took a shot and texted him, "Hey, do you remember me?" Well of course he remembered me! We've grown so intimate since then! Now my point is that maybe your bf is very busy! My man does get busy with work etc, but we communicate as much as possible! He doesn't leave me wondering what the hell happened anymore! Did your boyfriend ever communicate with you about what he was working on/doing? Also don't worry about feeling scared of losing him! I sometimes fear my man possibly found a girl, but you know what? I drive him crazy! The good kind of crazy ;) I know he only wants me, just as I only want him.
J. G. He is in the military being deployed . I understand his line of duty for the country. Just that he is American whereas i am Asians here. He not seeing my texts. We been through a lot for almost 2 years now. I have asked if he found someone. He did says no that i am always for him. I am married but my marriage was not a good one and he knows about it. He gave me confidence and support to change to how i am today. My son text him and they both chat too. Just when my son ask if he still with me he never reply too. He accept my kids as his own . I am keeping faith that will text me someday soon. For now i just kerp quiet and texting him . Tho its hard and painful.
Karen Goh55 Hmmm which app do you guys use to chat? Do you know if he's been online? I use Whatsapp, so I know when my man is online/offline. I think it's really great that he accepts you and your son! Here is where I'll tell you that i also understand him being busy, because of his deployment! Is he still in the process of getting deployed or is he already deployed? If he is still in the process of getting deployed I really don't see why he should be ignoring your texts! My friend has a bf who got deployed, but before he ever did they maintained contact. Right now he has sent her letters.
Hi, just ran across my our video today. My situation is that my ex told me he still cares for me and asked if he could call me. Why do they do this and don’t call?
We had a very good convo.and after that he said he needs to charge his battery and after that he doesn't text back all day.i don't know what happen to him.
True love never die, don't give up anything in life all hope is not lost. Do you need your ex back if yes I know a powerful man that can help you get your ex back he helped me too immediately without stress and delay.
Link up or Chat him on WhatApp
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Thank you for sharing
Impossible texe back i need now not making better
I am 48 years old and I don't know nothing about men 😎
when he just give u a bluetick on whatsapp then..seeing him online...its horrible feeling ever...what was that..??hmm..
eLL aimm it's the freakin' worst !
J. G. its kind of sad...🙁
eLL aimm Yeah, it is! But you know what? My man gets really busy with work, so sometimes he doesn't have time to reply back 'till later! Also his phone is fucked so yeah haha! Have you asked your man why he leaves you on R?
@@j.g.3063 yeah...its because of work...he been so busy...but...hmmm...its so horrible feeling ever...when he is around...all the mix feeling is gone immediately....😅
eLL aimm You should know that if he takes longer than a week to reply back it's sketchy !
Well, we finally got date 3 8 months later. Long distance, busy schedules are a bitch but the reunion, smiles, flowers, and time together was bittersweet. Here we go again lol. I'm still telling myself keep dating other men, keep busy, but I'm so tired of meeting other men when there only seems to be one man I'm interested in. Life's a bitch. Sighhhh Any ladies want to plan some vacations? LOL
I never been in this situation before,where i been texting and talking to a guy for 2 months and 1 week,and we have a good connection and suddenly he started ignoring me,and it's been 11 days so what should I do
hi helena, long time viewer and big fan :) i have a question about how long is it acceptable or appropriate to wait for a man to reply to you? say if he takes a few hours or a few days, at what point should we say something to him as it is taking it too far?like if a man ignores you for over a week for example? lol
Ask in our community... facebook.com/groups/goddesscommunity/
Not retuning a text is "negative behavior"?
If you sent someone a text and they didn't text you back, you wouldn't think that's negative behavior?
I will suggest to you that there is no social contract nor legal contract for texting. A party could negotiate what their expectations are for texting, but even they can be trumped for a myriad of factors that is to long to enumerate here. I feel that if one sends a text and does not receive a response, perhaps the onus can be placed on the sender and their message payload, you did not address this in your vlog. Also, as the sender who does not receive a response, categorizing the lack of a response as a negative behavior is a perception and a feeling generated by the sender. It may not be logical and it may not be a correct response in the specific context. I feel that you are painting with some rather broad strokes.
It sounds like you're either trying to shift the blame from a person responding to a text or you're trying to play devil's advocate. Either way, we're talking about a normal situation where you send someone a text and they don't respond. Sure, maybe they sent 100 texts in the span of 5 minutes... maybe the guy's phone is broke and he didn't receive it. These are extreme cases. In most normal situations... No Response = Negative Behavior
I will respectfully disagree. I sense some projection at play here on your part. One might need to ratchet their expectations.
my ex girlfriend is cheating on me for other boy she kiss him on the lip on New Years dance what can i do a about it
JUSTIN CHENG It’s not cheating if she’s an EX GIRLFRIEND
Is this even for fifty year olds
Ya... is that my boyfriend bahavior whole day i been called him hes dont care the next morning he sms me.. i told him talk to me one minute.. after that i not call u anymore i shout at him i mad at him tirrible eanger i told him... two days ago until now i not sms or call him... i was thought he has another girl..
Yea well I guess I should have watched this video first. Bc I got after my boyfriend for not talking/texting me and he was online. But it’s also complicated because we’ve never met met online from my friend. We send pictures to each other he has called a few times but it’s kind a hard to hear each other. But later I went back on and explained myself a little bit and it was fine
So what of wen he read ur chat nd dsnt repond dose that also mean he is busy with wrk or wat?
This video is giving me the impression that women are needy.😩 Not a good idea to get that invested in a text message.
Hello 👋 nice advice 😄
Do you have a video about when you’re meeting some one by message, this guy lives in an other country and we’ve been talking very nice and lately in a romantic way, I told him I will go to his country and live there, but one time he told me that he hope me to go to his country and I reply I hope so to, since that hope word I wrote he started to pull out since that day, we kept texting but he started to reply me less and it took him a lot of time to reply,now he don’t reply me, but I can still see him online because he hasn’t removed me from his contacts, I am going to take English classes before starting a certification to become an english teacher, I still don’t want to text him until i start english classes, because I want him to feel confident about me going to live in his country.
I’m not going to live in his country because of him, I’m going because I like his country, but being able to see him it will be great, I’m starting to have feelings for him, so if a relationship happens between him and I, i will be very happy and will let the love exist in my heart for him, am I taking a good decision about the text? Or what should I text him, and after he answers me what should I tell him, please help me because I’m starting to have feelings for him and I think he’s a great guy who has never been disrespectful to me, and we’ve never had fight since we started chatting, we have never talk on the phone but it’s been very nice to message with him. We started talking on these app where you can find friendship and a relationship. Thank you for sharing your videos.
My best regards 😄
Yes men arnt wired to multitask except when it comes to juggling several women at once....right
Beautiful
WHAT?? BUSY??? Even the President of the United States has time to Text.
What do you do when he blocks you
True love never die, don't give up anything in life all hope is not lost. Do you need your ex back if yes I know a powerful man that can help you get your ex back he helped me too immediately without stress and delay
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Thanks jiii..
Hi Helena, I have a question for you? Do you have a email Where I can sent my message?
What if he's always active on Facebook messenger and takes ages to reply 😭
How do you know he's active on FB messenger? Everyone thought I was for a long time even though I never use it... only to find out my phone always says that I'm active.
Commitment Connection - Relationship Advice it says on the Facebook messenger app : active now or when he was active like 20 mins ago or 2 hours ago. This situation happens with me and my guy, i see him active on FB but he hates texting , go figure!
You can actually turn your fb messager off and on. I do it all the time of I don't want ppl to know whether I'm active or not. I can still look and my messages and respond. It just doesn't show that I'm active.
Desperate I would say. I wouldn't want someone to answer me straight away that's weird. Think about if they wanted you to straight away hell no.
same with me to becky kracker
2 words....move on! Excuses excuse no thanks.
Lean back.. femine... what? This woman
like post be friend s and say work on your home and get stu ff do it and then don't answers you back weeks go by then have fine some one else
It just seems like he doesn't do anything right he lies, has cheated and after coming back 8 months and he still won't commit. I have been a bitch to him but that's cause it's the truth. Say if you feel like he doesn't care about you some dating coaches will tell you to pretend he does to show high value. If u have told them the truth I think they don't text back cause they don't want to face themselves. Dating a drug addict :(
So you're dating a guy who's a drug addict who has lied to you and cheated on you? You really need to have more respect for yourself. You're in an abusive relationship right now and it's not going to end well.
Commitment Connection - Relationship Advice Im NOT DOING NO such THING IM nit I'n TO dating guy's whom DO drug's AND I'f he's abusive type OF guy HE SURE IS GOING TO GET dumped I don't LIKE abuse
AND THE reason why MY DAD WAS AND alcoholic AND WHEN HE drank that's whence WOULD show HIS abortive side OF HIM SELF trust ME Im NOT against SOMEONE WHO drinks alcoholic beverage YOU JUST NEED TO use common sence to know when it's enough
Very agree 👍
Nycc..
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