It’s sad that one of the criticisms people have of what a disabled person says, is that “there’s not enough funding to help you therefore you shouldn’t need help.” Surely that’s looking at it backwards. Surely that’s a criticism of the system, not of you yourself. Yes, there’s not enough funding. But why isn’t there? Why is people’s well-being not a priority but endless wars are, and wealthy people and institutions not being made to pay enough taxes etc. Why do we just accept that? I don’t know.
Agreed, it makes no sense they way we are not making decisions with well being in mind. Public policy is corrupt. I have been trying to think of this using what I am calling the "canary principle." How could we change society to make it better for everyone in a way that addresses the identified needs of individuals. Everyone would benefit from organized nutritional information, for instance
I relate to everything you said! Not being able to relax and recharge in your own home impacts every aspect of your life. I even developed an autoimmune disease from being in such a prolonged period of stress. I’m 41 and have become more and more distressed by the demands being placed on me. I’ve got mountains of unopened mail, people are frustrated with me for not returning phone calls, emails, responding to bills they sent in the mail, etc. Every time I get a text, email, or letter, I’m like “what do you want from me NOW?!?” 😫 To them, I don’t come across as autistic, so they just expect me to keep up with everything like a neurotypical person. I’ve also started struggling a lot more since living alone. When I lived with my ex, he would do most of the grocery shopping and cooking, which was a huge help for me. He also helped keep things tidy. Idk. I’m just drowning. If I manage to mark off one thing from my to-do list, several more things end up getting added to it the same day, so the list only gets longer 😞 I love all your ideas for things that would help. I’m in the US and wonder if I could find any assistance like that… (probably not). I’ve gotta add looking into that to my to-do list 😆🫠
I’ve been living as 100% unsupported, and mostly the opposite of supported, ADHD/autistic my whole adult life, and my laser focus is continuously on survival. Staying housed, staying fed, maintaining health as best I can. And I wanted kids more than anything, so I have two of those to maintain, also! 🫠 I recommend paring down to bare essentials. Do you need it to survive? No? Get rid of it! We cannot afford these luxuries… 😔
Roommates can be really difficult, even when they’re your friends. I’m glad you have a friend that you think would be better to live with than you currently have, but I recommend talking in detail with them about what your needs are, and what their needs are, before you move in together. Like, sometimes you listen to loud music without headphones to regulate - are they ok with that or will that be an issue? Maybe not doing it after 9pm is a good rule to be considerate of their needs or something? How messy are they, realistically? Not just how clean do they want to be. What kind of cleaning schedule would work for you both? Do you want a text giving you a heads up before they invite people over? Not as a way to control them or whatever, just as a way to set realistic expectations before moving in together.
I feel that all autistic/disabled people need some form of a job , such as a small part time one but due to funding and insurance they can’t give them that and also the people need a purpose and routine that gets them up and about . With me I’m autistic aswell, Iv studied animal level 1, worked so hard at college and being told that I need more skills for a job such as confidence and assertiveness which I lack. It will be nice to one day to work part time or maybe a few hours a couple of days a week and still keep my benefit money .
I'm (Late diagnosed) autistic aged 60, now 67 and never had any support from anyone or anywhere because for many decades it was thought that girls didn't have autism. For advice on nutrition here is a brief background to how I got my knowledge. I got diagnosed with diabetes 25 years ago. I found that the advice available at the time was totally wrong for me because I'm also allergic to artificial sweeteners and the diet they were advising me to eat made me really ill. So I started researching nutrition and everything about Diabetes and what suited me. I live alone and like you, Dana, can't eat a whole head of broccoli either, or whole bag of runner beans, or a whole cabbage. My solution for vegetables is to buy frozen. So if you have access to a freezer (even a small table top one like I've got) this could help. Frozen veg means that when you take out a handful for your meal, the rest goes back in the freezer for another day. NO Waste! No leftover veg going rotten because you don't fancy eating the same broccoli head for three meals running just to use it up! Hope this tip helps. You are a young healthy woman and don't need to worry so much about how many carbs you are eating, but I found a good rule/guide to a nutritionally balanced (non-diabetic) meal is to divide your plate into: 1/4 Protein (meat, fish, Eggs, Cheese, or Vegan equivalents if that's your thing), 1/4 Carbohydrate (Pasta, rice, potato, bread - but try to use whole grain versions if you can), and 1/2 leafy green Vegetables or brassicas (broccoli/cauliflower). If you like root vegetables like carrots, parsnips, swedes & turnips, or pulses like bean or peas. Remember these are also starchy & quite high in Carbohydrates so use these instead of Potato, Pasta, or rice. I hope this helps with working out a meal plan for the week.
Frozen is a good way to go. Usually I can eat up fresh veggies pretty easily, but I get little ones whenever I can. Oh, another reason why frozen is good is because you make fewer trips to the store.
About 2/3 years ago I wasnt functioning too well, and after being bounced around different meds and mental health whatever people, a doctor finally randomly suggested I try a Social Prescriber. They're basically a life admin help. I dont know if this would help, but if you phone to your GP and speak to your doctor and say you need practical support with things like bills as it would help you with your mental health and ask specifically to be referred to a Social Prescriber. I met mine a couple times, she sat me down and did forms with me, helped me get financial support and benefits, and even got me onto a local bereavement support group. Even offered to go with me! How ace is that?! I also hate the Tories and making the disabled their newest culture war fodder punching bags. Sending caring vibes xx
I never got the support I needed, even with an autism diagnoses known for decades. I just needed help with a social work place, so I could become independent and free, and actually began my adult life. All I got was integration project, so I could become "normal" enough to become a wage slave. So yes, now I'm depressed and dissociated, becoming less myself everyday and losing more and more overhead. Life could've been brilliant, but it wasn't meant to be, maybe it will be okay one day. The irony is, if I were high support need I'd probably get the help I needed. Over here you're not allowed to have a too good of a life it seems. I hope you find / get the support you need.
I just said to my PCP today that I filled out a questionnaire as part of being evaluated for autism (I mean, I’m autistic, regardless, but the label might help me and my kids suffer less in the long run), and it seems I’m smack dab in the “moderate” range where I need “significant support”, but that my understanding is there’s not much help short of others taking over and dictating my life to me, which I have fought very hard for decades to escape from and will NOT go back to! It would be nice if my family’s prescriptions got delivered to us, or someone took care of my electric bill for me, or a box of canned/dry staple foods of my own choosing just showed up on my doorstep once a month, but I doubt any of that will happen. Nobody wants to pay for anything except owning other people. 😔
It took me a few minutes to figure out why what you said confused me. It's that word "independent". It seems that very few people actually think this through. No one is independent (except maybe a few hermits, and even that is debatable). Any time anyone pays for anything, they are demonstrating that they are not independent. They had to pay someone else for something instead of doing/making/whatevering it for themselves. We all rely on each other in different ways according to what we need and what we have to offer. Some people are fully dependent, but most of us are interdependent. This probably doesn't help much, but maybe you'll be less depressed over the fact that you're not independent.
7:21 "And if I've made one phone call in a day I cannot manage another one I will just go nonverbal and not actually be able to speak to them" I relate to this. I relate to this so, so much, and it's a relief to hear someone else actually explain it. I struggle with phone calls. I don't know logically why they're so hard, but I struggle with phone calls in a way that I don't with emails. It's a nightmare any time that I need to try and get ahold of a company to ask things like allergy-related questions, or the bank, and stuff like that. I don't get why they're so much more difficult for me than for other people.
I feel like I already miss 80% of social cues and the ‘read between the lines’ parts of face to face conversations, being on the phone I suddenly don’t have any body language cues, facial expressions, hand gestures etc, and I’m really not good at reading the tone of peoples voices, so I get why I struggle more with them as much as it sucks! It may not be the same reasons for you, but I’m pretty sure it’s that for me and it took me waaaay too long to figure it out 😅
I 100% relate as well.. And for what it's worth, I think difficulty with phone calls is fairly common among autistic people, and even more so when it comes to making appointments or dealing with finances etc over the phone. So neither of you are alone in this. For me it's mostly the auditory processing issues (I normally partially relay on lip reading when it's face-to-face, as well as body language, which can't be done on the phone).. And if the person I'm speaking with is in a noisy environment, or there's a bad connection, I tend to miss like 50-70% of what's actually being said. Another issue is also anxiety levels. I tend to process things much slower when I'm anxious, and both bureaucracy related stuff (such as issues relating to the bank, bill companies, Doctor's office etc), and phone calls in general, tend to get me really anxious as it is. So when it's combining both into one (such as, phoning the bank), it's seriously near impossible. If I try to do it anyway, I just end up defaulting to fawning and find myself agreeing to things I don't actually want or need - and then, I have a hard time processing or remembering what was actually said once I hang up - Which tends to get me in more trouble later, since I have no recollection of agreeing to certain things and no written proof or reminders of what was actually done. I've personally stopped making phone calls full-stop about a decade back, I stick with e-mails or texts when possible, even if it does take longer to get a response in certain cases, and despite the waiting and constant back-and-forth bringing its own brand of anxiety.. It's still better imo, cause at least I can actually follow and remember (or go back and check) anything that was said and done. It helps avoid companies trying to gaslight or take advantage of me as well, since I have written proof of anything I agreed or opted-out of in the past. So yeah, having someone to help make these calls for/with me, would have def been super helpful.. Even though I manage to deal with most issues by writing instead, it's always still hard and takes a lot of time and effort, which is frustrating and anxiety inducting, especially when I know it's something NT people would have dealt with in a few minutes in one phone call, and I have to spend weeks fretting and waiting and hoping I'll be able to solve it. But sadly, I don't think that's an actual support that's being offered in my country.
Yes, so do I. I watched videos by other you tubers who also struggle with phone calls. It was a relief to discover that other autistic people struggle with it too! My NT boss at work doesn't understand why I find it so hard, and have never found a way to explain it to him in a way that he can understand.
I believe phone calls asking for help are made deliberately difficult to discourage them so that fewer phone-answerers; and less help; can be provided while pretending that you can “just call!”. I’m quite verbal; I’ve learned to play pretty decent verbal defense over my 24+ years of adult life. But phone calls can go absolutely anywhere and I have little control over where. Let’s say I want to pay for my kid to attend a summer camp. Should be simple, right? I’m actually PAYING for a service here, not just hoping someone will kindly provide it! But the number I try may no longer work; I may go straight to voicemail, perhaps a voice mail I can’t even be sure is related to signing up and paying for the camp; I will very likely listen to a list of options and have to approximate the one I want; and that may well send me to another list of options, or a voicemail. If I leave a voicemail, I’ll likely be called back at a bad time for me. If a find a human being, they are likely to not know how to answer my question and send me to someone else, where, you guessed it, I go to voicemail. I may start to get help, only to be left on hold due to needing to get help from someone who is “on another call”, or due to technical difficulties. I will likely be told to print something off when I don’t have a functional printer, to download an app when I don’t want to download another app, and of course, to provide personal information so that I can be contacted with advertising… er, I mean… “information”. I may have to make a “deposit” and thus provide credit card information. Specific questions are likely to be answered with cheerful generalities (“What behavior would result in a child being removed from camp?” “Oh, well, now, it depends on the situation, but we very rarely need to do that!” 😁). Or, I could just be told the camp doesn’t even exist anymore and the website is outdated. Given the wide range of possibilities for frustration and exhaustion, I doubt ANYONE finds making these kinds of phone calls easy, and they are especially challenging for neurodivergents! 😮💨
For me it's the combination of having to speak and figuring out the protocol in real time. You can't just say "Hello, tell me X [...] goodbye"; there are those useless questions and it's rude to hang up without letting the other person have their little bye sequence and you can't take a moment to process what they said or they start going "HELLO?" again.
You're helping me figure out what further accommodations would be helpful for me. Getting step by step written instructions for creating a mealplan based on my custom criteria, then converting those ingredients into meals. Written communication from everyone and anyone that wants anything from me, including appointment confirmation (which a lot of places already do). Options to work from home without video contact and on my own time. Sounds simple, and yet...
I didn't have stable living until age 33. I feel this so hard. I really hope you can find a good living situation ❤ it is absolutely a necessary foundation for life.
Dana, I completely relate when it comes to nutrition, and I am quite confident that the support you listed would help you, because I have that! Before I moved out of my parents home, my dad wrote down a bunch of his recipies, and I have a rota that I follow, so I shop weekly, just reading off the recipes what ingredients I need. I also batch cook which helps. I would be happy to send you the recipes, there are no where near 20, to be honest I only really cook 8 proper meals, but maybe it would give you a start? Also the way I rota my dinner goes like this: a day of the week is either pasta, rice, potato or quick meal (I have this once a week, basically a stick a pizza in the oven day, I have mine on a day I get home really late), then I have a list of dishes I can cook that use that carb as a base and when I plan my weekly shop I have a look in the freezer for what dishes I already have, then pick from my recipes any more I need to cook that week. I know you've said in the past you have pizza in the oven days quite often sometimes, so maybe you could always keep a few portions in the freezer so you can just reheat them instead of having to cook a whole meal?
It's not fair to be called entitled for having support needs. Some days I can't feed myself. That is a support need. Unfortunately I do not have the support I need, so I don't eat on those days. But it would be unfair to refer to me as being spoiled or entitled if I had the support I needed.
One way to make a very nutritious easy meal is, well you need to have an oven, you get some of the following, doesn't matter which, you don't need them all: potatoes, sweet potatoes, gourd, carrots, turnip, eggplant, zucchini and any other such bakeable vegetable. Peel what needs peeling, cut to large pieces and place in oven tray. Spray olive oil on top and sprinkle coarse grain salt on top. Bake for 40-50 minutes on 200°C with a fan and that's it. You can vary which vegetables you put in the pan you can add more herbs and spices, you can add chopped tofu, you can put a sauce on top once it's done. This is one of the 4 meals I keep repeating. Hope this helps.
You make such a good point about the need to just process things in order to function! My therapists haven't always been terribly helpful in that way. They seem to always want to fix me, except for the awesome lady who diagnosed me and she was very helpful with processing. But those inspired me to make journaling a regular part of my life again precisely for this reason: to process my life! 🙏🏽
Thanks for doing such a great job at educating people on some of the challenges (and so much more) that we who are on the spectrum face on an everyday basis. You do a phenomenal job! ❤
Me and Karra and Donna Douglas and heather O'Rourke are gunna build a small eco-friendly house to escape poverty. I want to eat 3 meals a day too...but cant afford it until I stop paying rent.
Oohh. Dana I use CharGPT to help me with meal suggestions. I would suggest starting a digital document that contains your prompt. In it say some of the important things to you food, sensory, convenience, familiarity, etc. And then as you use your prompt you can return to your document and update the prompt as you learn what you want the model to do or not do or more info about you.
I agree there is zero consistent long term speaking therapy support easily accessible for low cost/free. I found two charity/donation based therapies which are saving me. It is still expensive to me personally, but it is better and more substantial that NHS which is extremely short term, requires reapplication and includes lengthy and inexcusable delays.
Thank you Dana! I relate so much to your videos and you help me a lot!!! I hope you get to move into your new place with your friend and can finally feel safe and good about where you live!💕💕💖💖💕💕💖💖💕💕PS I love your cats! >^.^
Also about your comments about the current UK Government's attitude to disabled people....... I think it's totally disgusting! They are so out of touch! They treat disabled people as though it is their fault they are out of work! They need to focus on employers!!! It's employers who don't want to employ disabled, neurodivergent, or those with mental health issues. I have attended thousands of job interviews over the decades and because I also have a physical disability as well as Autism, I found a lot of the time the interviewer seemed to be fixated on my crutches!!!! You could see the thoughts running across their foreheads, how much is it going to cost us to put in reasonable adjustments if we give this person the job? So they make promises to get back to you and you never hear from them again. I spent a lot of my working years as a temp or self-employed contractor. Luckily I don't have to worry about getting a job anymore as an OAP.
We offer that support in the Netherlands in the form of a mental health professional, with expertise in autistic individuals. They help you with scheduling meals, making them, and others things that get in the way because of executive disfunction. Do they offer that over there?
@Glitteryglows - This sort of support used to be available in the UK but thanks to the current government cuts to Health, Social & Mental health care budgets & public services over the last 14 years. The support for those with autism and other neurodivergent needs, is no longer available. Only a change in government will begin to restore what has been lost but I'm afraid that it will take as many years to fully get back to where we were in 2010.
I haven't finished watching your video yet but regarding food/cooking: i just came across "the autism friendly cookbook" which tells you the exact grocery list and energy you'll need to make the dish. It seems to have a few other cool and very useful features so maybe look into it in the meantime if that sounds like it would be a good start for you :)
That is pretty much the support I need as well, I dunno how people interface with society so well >.< also relatable with the one rule for thee another for me with the roomie there -.-
Omg, going to do a food shop every couple of days is so relatable. I don't have the energy to think up new low prep/cooking time recipes so I end up not knowing what I feel like eating, but having to pick something so I'll get some food to last me a few days that is in my repertoire and feels least offensive to the palette and see if anything changes when that runs out. Rinse and repeat. I've been eating the same things for about 80%~ of the past 4 months Also, been sharing my home with other people for quite a while, and I'm in mid 30s now. I am planning to move to my own place this year but wouldn't you know it; neurodivergent issues are getting in the way! This time to do with work; that's not making my job feel secure so I don't feel safe taking risks until that settles down.
ugh life admin is the bane of my life. it's so overwhelming and my executive function cannot do it. i tried to get support from my local council and the person i spoke to was so dismissive. she said "what support do you want?" and when i couldn't say exactly, and things were more general, she just said "we can't do that" and that was it. no alternative suggestions. no "well you could qualify for X, would that help?" nothing. it made me so uncomfortable and there was no understanding that even making the call was hard for me.
Great video Dana. I have realised recently that support is also greatly needed when autistic individuals are in work. This is basically about the lack of mental energy after work and time needed to recover. After work, driving home is hard and tiring, talking is tiresome and doing any other administration task or chore is just like draging yourself along the floor to get from one room to the other. TH-camrs are also at work spending hours editing which is also hard work and tiresome. When your batteries have run out just talking or trying to do a typical task can seem so hard.
I relate and empathize with your living situation issues. So many of us are having issues with roommates. I hide in my room most of the time. My house isnt accessible for me. I hope you can find a safe and accessible home ♡
Some disinfectant spray should fix that mold-issue. It's simple enough and cheap, make sure not to breathe it in. Just buy 3-4 cans at once, it will last for a while as long as you open the windows every day for a few hours. (plus when you cook) If you're using a dehumidifier they can be kind of a hit and miss but they work, sort of. That's one problem off the list, hopefully.
Cooking for one is difficult due to how they sell food. Frozen vegetables packaged for one serving are so much more expensive. But if you get that larger bag, you end up wasting it.
@@thethegreenmachine I guess I should expand. Food that requires minimum preparation is often sold in larger sizes for families. Being single, you need to portion things out properly if you want to eat healthy. That being said, having the same vegetables for two or three days in a row is a bit monotonous. But if you don't use it up it will go bad. Even in the freezer, once you open it can get freezer burn. Anyway, I need to pay extra to get single serve items. They are available but are more expensive if you calculate the per serving cost. There is also the matter of mental energy expended. It is easier just to open a can of something and heat it up. But that is not healthy. From an executive functioning point of view, cooking for myself is the second most difficult thing to overcome.
@@brianfoster4434 A big bag of frozen veggies often takes me 6 months or more to use up, but I haven't had a problem with freezer burn yet. I know I risk it happening, but I also know that freezer burn doesn't make the food go bad. It just makes it taste funny, so it's worth the risk. It's caused by 2 things: time and air. I get as much air out of the bag as I can without smushing the veggies, which seems to be enough. If it wasn't enough, I'd also find different ways to use them up -- different enough that it doesn't become monotonous.
@@t.a.4356 I don't buy a lot of frozen veggies, so I don't know. I will say that other items aren't necessarily cheaper per ounce in the bigger packages.
This obviously does not replace the role therapy can have, but a lot of people find journaling to be a very helpful way to process life, and it may help you recognize those life patterns and reflect a bit better if once a month you sat down to journal, not just about what comes up, but specifically on how the last month has been and what you’re going through.
Hey i know its hard to deal with eating well, was for me too. Now i hyper focus on food due to bad health effects. Maybe its not your thing but a healthy thing i see is a pre made salad bowl you can get, no thinking or prep and really healthy, plus with some good olive oil its actually pretty filling. Fermented foods like kimchi a crazy good for you too and easy to just make rice. Not sure what food you like but there are usually things you can have no matter what you like that's good for you. Try not to do what i did and live off sweets and pizza, food is more important to the way you feel than you think too.
Great video! The advice I would give for meal planning is to cook two to three meals a week and try to make 3 portion sizes per meal, then you can reheat the leftover. Soups are good options, you only need water, stock cube and vegetables with some seasoning.
Lol so I of course started trying to make a list and figure out what needed and a lot could be very occasional or even once set up I might be okay less something needs adding but yeah. Technically i'm listed level one for autism and severe for adhd but due to fear of stigma and worry over rights possibly disappearing and such I did hold back on a bunch of the autism stuff and what not to try and not be given level 2 which is likely what I should be at. The adhd I probably would've held back on too except I hadn't researched it anywhere near as much as the autism previous to assessment. And yeah I know doing that's problematic and likely wasn't the best idea but meh? help finding suitable place to live if it exists. not owned by parents allows pets cheap place to access car without safety issue safe fits books computer etc access to outdoors air conditioning dishwasher fits shower chair space for art making Food assistance executive functioning issues nutritionist maybe help figuring out freezer prep/v easy meal creation help figuring out how to make timers and track things. figure out shopping for food/setting up auto order find better ways to deal with arfid/sensory issues try to find safefoods that can stay safefoods. bills figuring out what actually need/don't getting services to right services auto payments setup and reminders for when things are coming out of accounts paperwork can't keep up with/fill out properly help understanding executive functioning with getting paperwork straight done system for filing copies on computer and online appointments/phone call need help making appointments and phone calls need help planning for appointments and phone calls need help figuring out what's needed need help speaking up/follow through organizing/cleaning/moving body doubling would likely solve a lot of issues around this also need someone to help fully set up a system of schedules sometimes I just can't physically get this stuff done and need help doing the things need reminders to stay on top of things shopping for house items can't figure out what have/out of not good at figuring out lists don't focus well in stores auto-ship would probably help self care need help figuring out ways to make things more accessible need to figure out how to be able to maintain things on a daily basis maybe some kind of check in or spot someone can see so i feel held accountable maybe alarms/trackers/schedule setup fully help staying on top of things prescriptions delivered and reminders for when they need filing comprehension help either coach or therapist to talk things over and go over things help understanding why something didn't go right or how to understand what someone said. connection assistance could really use regular connection with healthy or at least safe people need more of like a texting network/group/checkin/something need physical connection with people even just body doubling or such ideally once a week assistance with tasks my brain has issues with for example putting car seat covers on car seats listing stuff for sale (art or things realize don't need)
About shopping list to suit your meals , payments and appointments, hear me out , im a programmer and I feel like all those things have a certain algorithm that can be turned into an application, sure an app isn't a person that could help you in real life , but it's better than nth , give me your thoughts and opinions
I'd really like apps that do those things and are geared towards autistic people. The apps I've found are inaccessible to me because they are too confusing, require me to already have the information, etc. If you could create apps that suit autistic people, I would be ecstatic!
Yeah the US and Britain are very right wing in this way I totally understand and relate to what you're talking about with the lack of social services, it's even worse in the us where I live 😂 good luck and look out for that black mold
I hope the friend you'll be moving in with can help you with a lot of this, but in the meantime... I'm not a nutritionist, and it's been a while since I've learned about it, but I can tell you what I know -- if I remember it right :) I'll probably be telling you some things you already know or were already doing fine with. Watching your cooking videos did not leave me feeling worried for you. We need 5 servings of fruits and veggies a day. A serving is about as much as will fit in your cupped hand more or less leveled. As you can see, a banana or an apple could easily be 2 or more servings, depending on how big they are. I think that amount is meant for whole, unprocessed foods. For example, a handful of popcorn is way less food than a handful of unpopped corn, so a serving of popcorn would be however much you get from popping a handful of corn. Don't count juice as a fruit or veggie. Count it as a treat. I don't remember how many servings of protein we need -- vegan or otherwise -- but I do know how to get protein. Combining any legume with any grain (make it a whole grain) will get you all the essential amino acids. The simplest thing I can think of is peanut butter on whole wheat bread, but there are lots of options for this. You said you need to be told what to get at the grocery store. Does reading a recipe take care of that? I have 3 vegan recipes. I only use 2 of them, so I can tell you they're great. My friend says the other one is also great (she insisted I have it when I asked for one of the others). Do you take B12 supplements? There's no way to get enough of that from just plants. As far as I know, it's the only supplement every vegan needs. Please tell me whether or not any of this was helpful. Sometimes when I ask for help, what I get is frustrating and not helpful, and I hate putting anyone through that. If I missed the target, I can try again. Also let me know if you want the recipes (lentil soup, pea soup, and pasta salad). The pasta salad probably stands alone as a fully balanced meal. The other two aren't fully balanced, but I know what to have with them to fix that. I have a few other meals that are fully balanced but not vegan (and definitely not 20-25 of them); otherwise, I'd offer those too. I'm satisfied with the 5-10 things I usually make. Planning balanced meals isn't easy, so I found a few easy ways to do it on a small budget. Those struggles were a long time ago for me, and I still remember them clearly. I hope I can help you.
I wish you could get more help Dana. I wish you could have the help that I do. I have level 2 autism also but I get help for severe mental health issues not the the autism.
Are you using sunlight against mold? 5:00 But are you suffering any lack of nutrients? Why so caring much? Also, how so ignorant about all these doctors making TH-cam videos just about that? 7:20 Are they refusing to use texts?
@@DanaAndersen This is a big oof. I feel this in my bones. I think often we autistics appear "independent" but we're really just sitting there in the middle of a blazing fire saying "this is fine" but except it's not.
It’s sad that one of the criticisms people have of what a disabled person says, is that “there’s not enough funding to help you therefore you shouldn’t need help.” Surely that’s looking at it backwards. Surely that’s a criticism of the system, not of you yourself. Yes, there’s not enough funding. But why isn’t there? Why is people’s well-being not a priority but endless wars are, and wealthy people and institutions not being made to pay enough taxes etc. Why do we just accept that? I don’t know.
Agreed, it makes no sense they way we are not making decisions with well being in mind. Public policy is corrupt. I have been trying to think of this using what I am calling the "canary principle." How could we change society to make it better for everyone in a way that addresses the identified needs of individuals. Everyone would benefit from organized nutritional information, for instance
Because majorities are neurotypical.
@@t.a.4356 by definition
@@livenotbylies there are no support groups for us, right? No way they put us together
I relate to everything you said! Not being able to relax and recharge in your own home impacts every aspect of your life. I even developed an autoimmune disease from being in such a prolonged period of stress. I’m 41 and have become more and more distressed by the demands being placed on me. I’ve got mountains of unopened mail, people are frustrated with me for not returning phone calls, emails, responding to bills they sent in the mail, etc. Every time I get a text, email, or letter, I’m like “what do you want from me NOW?!?” 😫 To them, I don’t come across as autistic, so they just expect me to keep up with everything like a neurotypical person. I’ve also started struggling a lot more since living alone. When I lived with my ex, he would do most of the grocery shopping and cooking, which was a huge help for me. He also helped keep things tidy. Idk. I’m just drowning. If I manage to mark off one thing from my to-do list, several more things end up getting added to it the same day, so the list only gets longer 😞 I love all your ideas for things that would help. I’m in the US and wonder if I could find any assistance like that… (probably not). I’ve gotta add looking into that to my to-do list 😆🫠
I’ve been living as 100% unsupported, and mostly the opposite of supported, ADHD/autistic my whole adult life, and my laser focus is continuously on survival. Staying housed, staying fed, maintaining health as best I can. And I wanted kids more than anything, so I have two of those to maintain, also! 🫠 I recommend paring down to bare essentials. Do you need it to survive? No? Get rid of it! We cannot afford these luxuries… 😔
That is not fixed by doing less, but by changing radically your lifestyle.
Doing an entirely other thing
Roommates can be really difficult, even when they’re your friends. I’m glad you have a friend that you think would be better to live with than you currently have, but I recommend talking in detail with them about what your needs are, and what their needs are, before you move in together. Like, sometimes you listen to loud music without headphones to regulate - are they ok with that or will that be an issue? Maybe not doing it after 9pm is a good rule to be considerate of their needs or something? How messy are they, realistically? Not just how clean do they want to be. What kind of cleaning schedule would work for you both? Do you want a text giving you a heads up before they invite people over?
Not as a way to control them or whatever, just as a way to set realistic expectations before moving in together.
I feel that all autistic/disabled people need some form of a job , such as a small part time one but due to funding and insurance they can’t give them that and also the people need a purpose and routine that gets them up and about . With me I’m autistic aswell, Iv studied animal level 1, worked so hard at college and being told that I need more skills for a job such as confidence and assertiveness which I lack. It will be nice to one day to work part time or maybe a few hours a couple of days a week and still keep my benefit money .
I'm (Late diagnosed) autistic aged 60, now 67 and never had any support from anyone or anywhere because for many decades it was thought that girls didn't have autism. For advice on nutrition here is a brief background to how I got my knowledge. I got diagnosed with diabetes 25 years ago. I found that the advice available at the time was totally wrong for me because I'm also allergic to artificial sweeteners and the diet they were advising me to eat made me really ill. So I started researching nutrition and everything about Diabetes and what suited me. I live alone and like you, Dana, can't eat a whole head of broccoli either, or whole bag of runner beans, or a whole cabbage. My solution for vegetables is to buy frozen. So if you have access to a freezer (even a small table top one like I've got) this could help. Frozen veg means that when you take out a handful for your meal, the rest goes back in the freezer for another day. NO Waste! No leftover veg going rotten because you don't fancy eating the same broccoli head for three meals running just to use it up! Hope this tip helps. You are a young healthy woman and don't need to worry so much about how many carbs you are eating, but I found a good rule/guide to a nutritionally balanced (non-diabetic) meal is to divide your plate into: 1/4 Protein (meat, fish, Eggs, Cheese, or Vegan equivalents if that's your thing), 1/4 Carbohydrate (Pasta, rice, potato, bread - but try to use whole grain versions if you can), and 1/2 leafy green Vegetables or brassicas (broccoli/cauliflower). If you like root vegetables like carrots, parsnips, swedes & turnips, or pulses like bean or peas. Remember these are also starchy & quite high in Carbohydrates so use these instead of Potato, Pasta, or rice. I hope this helps with working out a meal plan for the week.
Frozen is a good way to go. Usually I can eat up fresh veggies pretty easily, but I get little ones whenever I can. Oh, another reason why frozen is good is because you make fewer trips to the store.
Yes support is needed. NT-society seems to begrudge the basics (for some reason)
About 2/3 years ago I wasnt functioning too well, and after being bounced around different meds and mental health whatever people, a doctor finally randomly suggested I try a Social Prescriber. They're basically a life admin help. I dont know if this would help, but if you phone to your GP and speak to your doctor and say you need practical support with things like bills as it would help you with your mental health and ask specifically to be referred to a Social Prescriber.
I met mine a couple times, she sat me down and did forms with me, helped me get financial support and benefits, and even got me onto a local bereavement support group. Even offered to go with me! How ace is that?!
I also hate the Tories and making the disabled their newest culture war fodder punching bags. Sending caring vibes xx
I never got the support I needed, even with an autism diagnoses known for decades. I just needed help with a social work place, so I could become independent and free, and actually began my adult life. All I got was integration project, so I could become "normal" enough to become a wage slave. So yes, now I'm depressed and dissociated, becoming less myself everyday and losing more and more overhead. Life could've been brilliant, but it wasn't meant to be, maybe it will be okay one day. The irony is, if I were high support need I'd probably get the help I needed. Over here you're not allowed to have a too good of a life it seems. I hope you find / get the support you need.
well said and precise...
@@gothboschincarnate3931 thank you
I just said to my PCP today that I filled out a questionnaire as part of being evaluated for autism (I mean, I’m autistic, regardless, but the label might help me and my kids suffer less in the long run), and it seems I’m smack dab in the “moderate” range where I need “significant support”, but that my understanding is there’s not much help short of others taking over and dictating my life to me, which I have fought very hard for decades to escape from and will NOT go back to! It would be nice if my family’s prescriptions got delivered to us, or someone took care of my electric bill for me, or a box of canned/dry staple foods of my own choosing just showed up on my doorstep once a month, but I doubt any of that will happen. Nobody wants to pay for anything except owning other people. 😔
It took me a few minutes to figure out why what you said confused me. It's that word "independent". It seems that very few people actually think this through. No one is independent (except maybe a few hermits, and even that is debatable). Any time anyone pays for anything, they are demonstrating that they are not independent. They had to pay someone else for something instead of doing/making/whatevering it for themselves. We all rely on each other in different ways according to what we need and what we have to offer. Some people are fully dependent, but most of us are interdependent. This probably doesn't help much, but maybe you'll be less depressed over the fact that you're not independent.
7:21 "And if I've made one phone call in a day I cannot manage another one I will just go nonverbal and not actually be able to speak to them"
I relate to this. I relate to this so, so much, and it's a relief to hear someone else actually explain it. I struggle with phone calls. I don't know logically why they're so hard, but I struggle with phone calls in a way that I don't with emails. It's a nightmare any time that I need to try and get ahold of a company to ask things like allergy-related questions, or the bank, and stuff like that. I don't get why they're so much more difficult for me than for other people.
I feel like I already miss 80% of social cues and the ‘read between the lines’ parts of face to face conversations, being on the phone I suddenly don’t have any body language cues, facial expressions, hand gestures etc, and I’m really not good at reading the tone of peoples voices, so I get why I struggle more with them as much as it sucks! It may not be the same reasons for you, but I’m pretty sure it’s that for me and it took me waaaay too long to figure it out 😅
I 100% relate as well.. And for what it's worth, I think difficulty with phone calls is fairly common among autistic people, and even more so when it comes to making appointments or dealing with finances etc over the phone. So neither of you are alone in this.
For me it's mostly the auditory processing issues (I normally partially relay on lip reading when it's face-to-face, as well as body language, which can't be done on the phone).. And if the person I'm speaking with is in a noisy environment, or there's a bad connection, I tend to miss like 50-70% of what's actually being said.
Another issue is also anxiety levels. I tend to process things much slower when I'm anxious, and both bureaucracy related stuff (such as issues relating to the bank, bill companies, Doctor's office etc), and phone calls in general, tend to get me really anxious as it is. So when it's combining both into one (such as, phoning the bank), it's seriously near impossible. If I try to do it anyway, I just end up defaulting to fawning and find myself agreeing to things I don't actually want or need - and then, I have a hard time processing or remembering what was actually said once I hang up - Which tends to get me in more trouble later, since I have no recollection of agreeing to certain things and no written proof or reminders of what was actually done.
I've personally stopped making phone calls full-stop about a decade back, I stick with e-mails or texts when possible, even if it does take longer to get a response in certain cases, and despite the waiting and constant back-and-forth bringing its own brand of anxiety.. It's still better imo, cause at least I can actually follow and remember (or go back and check) anything that was said and done. It helps avoid companies trying to gaslight or take advantage of me as well, since I have written proof of anything I agreed or opted-out of in the past.
So yeah, having someone to help make these calls for/with me, would have def been super helpful.. Even though I manage to deal with most issues by writing instead, it's always still hard and takes a lot of time and effort, which is frustrating and anxiety inducting, especially when I know it's something NT people would have dealt with in a few minutes in one phone call, and I have to spend weeks fretting and waiting and hoping I'll be able to solve it. But sadly, I don't think that's an actual support that's being offered in my country.
Yes, so do I. I watched videos by other you tubers who also struggle with phone calls. It was a relief to discover that other autistic people struggle with it too! My NT boss at work doesn't understand why I find it so hard, and have never found a way to explain it to him in a way that he can understand.
I believe phone calls asking for help are made deliberately difficult to discourage them so that fewer phone-answerers; and less help; can be provided while pretending that you can “just call!”. I’m quite verbal; I’ve learned to play pretty decent verbal defense over my 24+ years of adult life. But phone calls can go absolutely anywhere and I have little control over where. Let’s say I want to pay for my kid to attend a summer camp. Should be simple, right? I’m actually PAYING for a service here, not just hoping someone will kindly provide it! But the number I try may no longer work; I may go straight to voicemail, perhaps a voice mail I can’t even be sure is related to signing up and paying for the camp; I will very likely listen to a list of options and have to approximate the one I want; and that may well send me to another list of options, or a voicemail. If I leave a voicemail, I’ll likely be called back at a bad time for me. If a find a human being, they are likely to not know how to answer my question and send me to someone else, where, you guessed it, I go to voicemail. I may start to get help, only to be left on hold due to needing to get help from someone who is “on another call”, or due to technical difficulties. I will likely be told to print something off when I don’t have a functional printer, to download an app when I don’t want to download another app, and of course, to provide personal information so that I can be contacted with advertising… er, I mean… “information”. I may have to make a “deposit” and thus provide credit card information. Specific questions are likely to be answered with cheerful generalities (“What behavior would result in a child being removed from camp?” “Oh, well, now, it depends on the situation, but we very rarely need to do that!” 😁). Or, I could just be told the camp doesn’t even exist anymore and the website is outdated. Given the wide range of possibilities for frustration and exhaustion, I doubt ANYONE finds making these kinds of phone calls easy, and they are especially challenging for neurodivergents! 😮💨
For me it's the combination of having to speak and figuring out the protocol in real time. You can't just say "Hello, tell me X [...] goodbye"; there are those useless questions and it's rude to hang up without letting the other person have their little bye sequence and you can't take a moment to process what they said or they start going "HELLO?" again.
You're helping me figure out what further accommodations would be helpful for me. Getting step by step written instructions for creating a mealplan based on my custom criteria, then converting those ingredients into meals. Written communication from everyone and anyone that wants anything from me, including appointment confirmation (which a lot of places already do). Options to work from home without video contact and on my own time. Sounds simple, and yet...
I didn't have stable living until age 33. I feel this so hard. I really hope you can find a good living situation ❤ it is absolutely a necessary foundation for life.
Dana, I completely relate when it comes to nutrition, and I am quite confident that the support you listed would help you, because I have that!
Before I moved out of my parents home, my dad wrote down a bunch of his recipies, and I have a rota that I follow, so I shop weekly, just reading off the recipes what ingredients I need. I also batch cook which helps. I would be happy to send you the recipes, there are no where near 20, to be honest I only really cook 8 proper meals, but maybe it would give you a start?
Also the way I rota my dinner goes like this: a day of the week is either pasta, rice, potato or quick meal (I have this once a week, basically a stick a pizza in the oven day, I have mine on a day I get home really late), then I have a list of dishes I can cook that use that carb as a base and when I plan my weekly shop I have a look in the freezer for what dishes I already have, then pick from my recipes any more I need to cook that week.
I know you've said in the past you have pizza in the oven days quite often sometimes, so maybe you could always keep a few portions in the freezer so you can just reheat them instead of having to cook a whole meal?
It's not fair to be called entitled for having support needs. Some days I can't feed myself. That is a support need. Unfortunately I do not have the support I need, so I don't eat on those days. But it would be unfair to refer to me as being spoiled or entitled if I had the support I needed.
One way to make a very nutritious easy meal is, well you need to have an oven, you get some of the following, doesn't matter which, you don't need them all: potatoes, sweet potatoes, gourd, carrots, turnip, eggplant, zucchini and any other such bakeable vegetable. Peel what needs peeling, cut to large pieces and place in oven tray. Spray olive oil on top and sprinkle coarse grain salt on top. Bake for 40-50 minutes on 200°C with a fan and that's it. You can vary which vegetables you put in the pan you can add more herbs and spices, you can add chopped tofu, you can put a sauce on top once it's done. This is one of the 4 meals I keep repeating. Hope this helps.
You make such a good point about the need to just process things in order to function! My therapists haven't always been terribly helpful in that way. They seem to always want to fix me, except for the awesome lady who diagnosed me and she was very helpful with processing. But those inspired me to make journaling a regular part of my life again precisely for this reason: to process my life! 🙏🏽
Thanks for doing such a great job at educating people on some of the challenges (and so much more) that we who are on the spectrum face on an everyday basis. You do a phenomenal job! ❤
Me and Karra and Donna Douglas and heather O'Rourke are gunna build a small eco-friendly house to escape poverty. I want to eat 3 meals a day too...but cant afford it until I stop paying rent.
I hope your living situation gets better soon Dana
Oohh. Dana I use CharGPT to help me with meal suggestions. I would suggest starting a digital document that contains your prompt. In it say some of the important things to you food, sensory, convenience, familiarity, etc. And then as you use your prompt you can return to your document and update the prompt as you learn what you want the model to do or not do or more info about you.
I agree there is zero consistent long term speaking therapy support easily accessible for low cost/free. I found two charity/donation based therapies which are saving me. It is still expensive to me personally, but it is better and more substantial that NHS which is extremely short term, requires reapplication and includes lengthy and inexcusable delays.
Thank you Dana! I relate so much to your videos and you help me a lot!!! I hope you get to move into your new place with your friend and can finally feel safe and good about where you live!💕💕💖💖💕💕💖💖💕💕PS I love your cats! >^.^
Also about your comments about the current UK Government's attitude to disabled people....... I think it's totally disgusting! They are so out of touch! They treat disabled people as though it is their fault they are out of work! They need to focus on employers!!! It's employers who don't want to employ disabled, neurodivergent, or those with mental health issues. I have attended thousands of job interviews over the decades and because I also have a physical disability as well as Autism, I found a lot of the time the interviewer seemed to be fixated on my crutches!!!! You could see the thoughts running across their foreheads, how much is it going to cost us to put in reasonable adjustments if we give this person the job? So they make promises to get back to you and you never hear from them again. I spent a lot of my working years as a temp or self-employed contractor. Luckily I don't have to worry about getting a job anymore as an OAP.
We offer that support in the Netherlands in the form of a mental health professional, with expertise in autistic individuals. They help you with scheduling meals, making them, and others things that get in the way because of executive disfunction. Do they offer that over there?
@Glitteryglows - This sort of support used to be available in the UK but thanks to the current government cuts to Health, Social & Mental health care budgets & public services over the last 14 years. The support for those with autism and other neurodivergent needs, is no longer available. Only a change in government will begin to restore what has been lost but I'm afraid that it will take as many years to fully get back to where we were in 2010.
@@jazmo6662 thats too bad :(
I haven't finished watching your video yet but regarding food/cooking: i just came across "the autism friendly cookbook" which tells you the exact grocery list and energy you'll need to make the dish. It seems to have a few other cool and very useful features so maybe look into it in the meantime if that sounds like it would be a good start for you :)
I like your shirt, it looks like the band logo for a black metal band called Emperor.. and that's pretty funny 😊
That is pretty much the support I need as well, I dunno how people interface with society so well >.< also relatable with the one rule for thee another for me with the roomie there -.-
Omg, going to do a food shop every couple of days is so relatable. I don't have the energy to think up new low prep/cooking time recipes so I end up not knowing what I feel like eating, but having to pick something so I'll get some food to last me a few days that is in my repertoire and feels least offensive to the palette and see if anything changes when that runs out. Rinse and repeat. I've been eating the same things for about 80%~ of the past 4 months
Also, been sharing my home with other people for quite a while, and I'm in mid 30s now. I am planning to move to my own place this year but wouldn't you know it; neurodivergent issues are getting in the way! This time to do with work; that's not making my job feel secure so I don't feel safe taking risks until that settles down.
Just keeping on top of day to day stuff
All i can see is Emperor logo inspired sweater.
By the way you seem to be a person whod be good in doing arts. all the best
ugh life admin is the bane of my life. it's so overwhelming and my executive function cannot do it.
i tried to get support from my local council and the person i spoke to was so dismissive. she said "what support do you want?" and when i couldn't say exactly, and things were more general, she just said "we can't do that" and that was it. no alternative suggestions. no "well you could qualify for X, would that help?" nothing. it made me so uncomfortable and there was no understanding that even making the call was hard for me.
Yup.
Great video Dana. I have realised recently that support is also greatly needed when autistic individuals are in work. This is basically about the lack of mental energy after work and time needed to recover. After work, driving home is hard and tiring, talking is tiresome and doing any other administration task or chore is just like draging yourself along the floor to get from one room to the other. TH-camrs are also at work spending hours editing which is also hard work and tiresome. When your batteries have run out just talking or trying to do a typical task can seem so hard.
I relate and empathize with your living situation issues. So many of us are having issues with roommates. I hide in my room most of the time. My house isnt accessible for me. I hope you can find a safe and accessible home ♡
Some disinfectant spray should fix that mold-issue.
It's simple enough and cheap, make sure not to breathe it in.
Just buy 3-4 cans at once, it will last for a while as long as you open the windows every day for a few hours. (plus when you cook)
If you're using a dehumidifier they can be kind of a hit and miss but they work, sort of.
That's one problem off the list, hopefully.
Cooking for one is difficult due to how they sell food. Frozen vegetables packaged for one serving are so much more expensive. But if you get that larger bag, you end up wasting it.
How does it get wasted?
@@thethegreenmachine I guess I should expand. Food that requires minimum preparation is often sold in larger sizes for families. Being single, you need to portion things out properly if you want to eat healthy. That being said, having the same vegetables for two or three days in a row is a bit monotonous. But if you don't use it up it will go bad. Even in the freezer, once you open it can get freezer burn. Anyway, I need to pay extra to get single serve items. They are available but are more expensive if you calculate the per serving cost. There is also the matter of mental energy expended. It is easier just to open a can of something and heat it up. But that is not healthy. From an executive functioning point of view, cooking for myself is the second most difficult thing to overcome.
@@brianfoster4434
A big bag of frozen veggies often takes me 6 months or more to use up, but I haven't had a problem with freezer burn yet. I know I risk it happening, but I also know that freezer burn doesn't make the food go bad. It just makes it taste funny, so it's worth the risk. It's caused by 2 things: time and air. I get as much air out of the bag as I can without smushing the veggies, which seems to be enough. If it wasn't enough, I'd also find different ways to use them up -- different enough that it doesn't become monotonous.
Is it that way in every store around you? Every single one of them?
@@t.a.4356
I don't buy a lot of frozen veggies, so I don't know. I will say that other items aren't necessarily cheaper per ounce in the bigger packages.
This obviously does not replace the role therapy can have, but a lot of people find journaling to be a very helpful way to process life, and it may help you recognize those life patterns and reflect a bit better if once a month you sat down to journal, not just about what comes up, but specifically on how the last month has been and what you’re going through.
Hey i know its hard to deal with eating well, was for me too. Now i hyper focus on food due to bad health effects. Maybe its not your thing but a healthy thing i see is a pre made salad bowl you can get, no thinking or prep and really healthy, plus with some good olive oil its actually pretty filling. Fermented foods like kimchi a crazy good for you too and easy to just make rice.
Not sure what food you like but there are usually things you can have no matter what you like that's good for you. Try not to do what i did and live off sweets and pizza, food is more important to the way you feel than you think too.
I like kimchi, but it tends to make my head sweat :)
I hope things will work out for you.
Great video! The advice I would give for meal planning is to cook two to three meals a week and try to make 3 portion sizes per meal, then you can reheat the leftover. Soups are good options, you only need water, stock cube and vegetables with some seasoning.
Lol so I of course started trying to make a list and figure out what needed and a lot could be very occasional or even once set up I might be okay less something needs adding but yeah. Technically i'm listed level one for autism and severe for adhd but due to fear of stigma and worry over rights possibly disappearing and such I did hold back on a bunch of the autism stuff and what not to try and not be given level 2 which is likely what I should be at. The adhd I probably would've held back on too except I hadn't researched it anywhere near as much as the autism previous to assessment. And yeah I know doing that's problematic and likely wasn't the best idea but meh?
help finding suitable place to live if it exists.
not owned by parents
allows pets
cheap
place to access car without safety issue
safe
fits books computer etc
access to outdoors
air conditioning
dishwasher
fits shower chair
space for art making
Food assistance
executive functioning issues
nutritionist maybe
help figuring out freezer prep/v easy meal creation
help figuring out how to make timers and track things.
figure out shopping for food/setting up auto order
find better ways to deal with arfid/sensory issues
try to find safefoods that can stay safefoods.
bills
figuring out what actually need/don't
getting services to right services
auto payments setup and reminders for when things are coming out of accounts
paperwork
can't keep up with/fill out properly
help understanding
executive functioning with getting paperwork straight done
system for filing copies on computer and online
appointments/phone call
need help making appointments and phone calls
need help planning for appointments and phone calls
need help figuring out what's needed
need help speaking up/follow through
organizing/cleaning/moving
body doubling would likely solve a lot of issues around this
also need someone to help fully set up a system of schedules
sometimes I just can't physically get this stuff done and need help doing the things
need reminders to stay on top of things
shopping for house items
can't figure out what have/out of
not good at figuring out lists
don't focus well in stores
auto-ship would probably help
self care
need help figuring out ways to make things more accessible
need to figure out how to be able to maintain things on a daily basis
maybe some kind of check in or spot someone can see so i feel held accountable
maybe alarms/trackers/schedule setup fully
help staying on top of things
prescriptions delivered and reminders for when they need filing
comprehension help
either coach or therapist to talk things over and go over things
help understanding why something didn't go right or how to understand what someone said.
connection assistance
could really use regular connection with healthy or at least safe people
need more of like a texting network/group/checkin/something
need physical connection with people even just body doubling or such ideally once a week
assistance with tasks my brain has issues with
for example putting car seat covers on car seats
listing stuff for sale (art or things realize don't need)
About shopping list to suit your meals , payments and appointments, hear me out , im a programmer and I feel like all those things have a certain algorithm that can be turned into an application, sure an app isn't a person that could help you in real life , but it's better than nth , give me your thoughts and opinions
I'd really like apps that do those things and are geared towards autistic people. The apps I've found are inaccessible to me because they are too confusing, require me to already have the information, etc. If you could create apps that suit autistic people, I would be ecstatic!
@@mariejardel6412 can you give me names of the apps that didn't work for you? I wanna see what level of complexity doesn't work
@daryataghizadeh6470
Sticky Notes & Widget by Hernandez Torres Javier seemed like a decent app, it just isn't flexible enough to me.
Yeah the US and Britain are very right wing in this way I totally understand and relate to what you're talking about with the lack of social services, it's even worse in the us where I live 😂 good luck and look out for that black mold
I hope the friend you'll be moving in with can help you with a lot of this, but in the meantime...
I'm not a nutritionist, and it's been a while since I've learned about it, but I can tell you what I know -- if I remember it right :) I'll probably be telling you some things you already know or were already doing fine with. Watching your cooking videos did not leave me feeling worried for you. We need 5 servings of fruits and veggies a day. A serving is about as much as will fit in your cupped hand more or less leveled. As you can see, a banana or an apple could easily be 2 or more servings, depending on how big they are. I think that amount is meant for whole, unprocessed foods. For example, a handful of popcorn is way less food than a handful of unpopped corn, so a serving of popcorn would be however much you get from popping a handful of corn. Don't count juice as a fruit or veggie. Count it as a treat.
I don't remember how many servings of protein we need -- vegan or otherwise -- but I do know how to get protein. Combining any legume with any grain (make it a whole grain) will get you all the essential amino acids. The simplest thing I can think of is peanut butter on whole wheat bread, but there are lots of options for this.
You said you need to be told what to get at the grocery store. Does reading a recipe take care of that? I have 3 vegan recipes. I only use 2 of them, so I can tell you they're great. My friend says the other one is also great (she insisted I have it when I asked for one of the others). Do you take B12 supplements? There's no way to get enough of that from just plants. As far as I know, it's the only supplement every vegan needs. Please tell me whether or not any of this was helpful. Sometimes when I ask for help, what I get is frustrating and not helpful, and I hate putting anyone through that. If I missed the target, I can try again. Also let me know if you want the recipes (lentil soup, pea soup, and pasta salad). The pasta salad probably stands alone as a fully balanced meal. The other two aren't fully balanced, but I know what to have with them to fix that. I have a few other meals that are fully balanced but not vegan (and definitely not 20-25 of them); otherwise, I'd offer those too. I'm satisfied with the 5-10 things I usually make. Planning balanced meals isn't easy, so I found a few easy ways to do it on a small budget. Those struggles were a long time ago for me, and I still remember them clearly. I hope I can help you.
Support I want people to stop pushing returning to 5he workforce on me when it’s detrimental to my health I have multiple neurodivergent conditions
wow, your housemate is a jerk. That music is really, really loud!
I wish you could get more help Dana. I wish you could have the help that I do.
I have level 2 autism also but I get help for severe mental health issues not the the autism.
I thought at first that music was from the apartment next door not your flatmate! I hate loud music 🤬
We have a community Facebook group where I live where you can ask for help, is there something like that where you live?
💚
Are you still living with the rugby player room mate?
Need some advice. Was my long comment helpful or annoying?
Are you using sunlight against mold?
5:00 But are you suffering any lack of nutrients? Why so caring much? Also, how so ignorant about all these doctors making TH-cam videos just about that?
7:20 Are they refusing to use texts?
But I thought you were independent
A person can be independent and still need help
Not by choice 😂
@@DanaAndersen This is a big oof. I feel this in my bones. I think often we autistics appear "independent" but we're really just sitting there in the middle of a blazing fire saying "this is fine" but except it's not.