Opie should tell her, "I'm sorry. I would love to help, but I can't. It has been made extremely clear to me that if I am ever in a bind and need money, I can not rely on anybody else to help me. That means I need to make sure that I can take care of myself if something bad happens to me because the people I was supposed to rely on when things got bad showed me that I couldn't do so. The money I have in savings is to protect myself from the future if anything were to happen to me."
And she likely knew OP would say what she said but thought using her child would soften her. A child OP likely hasn’t seen due to their distance. Children aren’t bargaining chips
Just say no and do not ever tell your family your financial situation again. It has only been 2 years. How do they even know you gave that much in savings? You need at least 6 months in savings in case of emergencies. If you have more than that you might consider paying the hospital directly with the caveat that the insurance is reimbursed directly to you.
RE: 1,500 Dollars Hospitals offer BOATLOADS of Financial Aid packages - especially for children. Sister's situation sounds like the biggest racket since King Kong took up tennis.
Yeah, in this case if OP did decide to help out it would need to be a check paid directly to the hospital. Of course, that's not how hospitals work in general. As the comments said, the bill goes to the insurance company for what it will pay, and the family gets the bill for the copay and what insurance doesn't cover. There's almost never a "you pay, and we repay" part of health insurance unless they later realize they should have covered something.
OP's sister KNEW OP would remember how the sister didn't help her & probably throw that back in her face so she's using the daughter to try and shame OP. I doubt the niece is even sick
@@patrickdix772- Some insurances ARE like this, but they are like this with all bills, not certain things. And usually they are not proper insurance plans, but things like Christian Healthcare Community, where several people are paying into it and the members are able to use it as needed. I DO personally think something is fishy in this story though. If I were OP I would only pay the hospital, not sis. Source: I work in insurance.
Just say flat out no to sister. She can get help with the Hospital and other places..Now she wants to criticize you for saying no. Tell her to pound sand.....This sounds like a scam to me......Tell her to get over herself a d ego.....
The ex is 100% going to make a scene at the wedding. MIL's choice is clearly the ex. Why the man is just sitting there with water in his mouth is beyond me. It reeks of desperation on the ex and MILs part to get them back together.
Story 1: NTA And the parents are right. It's not about the sister. It's about OP being able to take care of herself. " Sorry, I can't help you. It has been made extremely clear to me that if I ever get into a bind, I am the only person I can rely on so I need to make sure I have enough savings to take care of myself because the people in my life I thought I could rely on weree not there for me when I needed them. The money I have in savings is for a rainy day if that were to happen again."
If I saw someone saying to a future bride that her wedding day isn't about her I would immediately assume they were sharing two brain cells with someone else and today was not their turn 😂
@@carolroberts4614and now if she wants a relationship with her son, she has to backtrack with all her friends and clear the air. However it sounds like OP would have to blast her online since she doesn’t want to admit fault
She's the one who's lame 😆Even if she was right, and the friend was laughing at lame jokes out of attraction, it would only indicate the friend might be gay, not her son. Yeah, she's trying to earn her "parental martyr" badge.
@@lorilancaster5917 Ikr? If she's going to get "reimbursed" then the parents don't have much risk. Besides, taking out $1500 plus fees from their retirement isn't going to be any sort of a big hit. Worst case, most credit card companies will approve someone with decent credit a 3-5K card no problem. I smell something fishy.
@@user-wr3vt8uq4s if a person's policy is to never loan money to relatives because they know it's highly unlikely they will be paid back is fair. Thing is you have to be prepared for that same policy to be used on you by other family members.
Story 1: OP is NTA. Sis set the standard in the first place,so what's good for the goose is good for the gander And tell them to either sell their own stuff,get a loan or the most "impossible thing ever": get sis to genuinely apologize for being cold then and setting an unfair standard
Veggie story: ESH if she does all the cooking, she should just cook without hiding the veggies and if he doesn’t like it, he can make something for himself. That said, tricking someone into eating foods they don’t like is not okay and is more likely to aggravate his current avoidance issues than help him.
Not-gay story: NTA. LOL, mom's reason is so dumb!! She needs to clear the air right now with her friends xD Certain types of humor is not a mark of certain sexualities.
The last story, ie veggie tale. While I agree that the boyfriends attitude towards food is childish. You don't get free passes to mess with someone's food, to lie or belittle people just because your right. So she is the Ahole here.
Story 2: Just a thing that happened with my family, but some extended relative was visiting my grandma when me and my sister were there after school. This relative decided that I (a 10ish year-old boy) must be gay and told my grandma this. I have no idea where that came from, or how they decided this. It turns out that I'm not gay, but I am aromantic, and I only learned about this relative's claim when I was in my mid 20s.
Story 1 > I'd love to help, but I'm flat broke, as usual. I'm barely making my rent and bills, and I've debt too - car payments, insurance payments, gas, utilities, etc. I'd love to help, but I'm flat broke and YOU know I am. Remember me asking you for help with rent only 2 years ago?
First story: NTA, but if it were me, I would give my sister money, but that's also because I have a great relationship with my sister and I wouldn't want to see her struggle. OP said she doesn't have a good relationship with her sister, and her sister was cruel to her, so what goes around, comes around. She should've helped you when you needed help, now she can reap what she sows.
I understand that Veggie OP had good intentions, but they’re definitely in the wrong here. Trust and honesty are key in a relationship, and hiding vegetables in someone’s food crosses a line. That said, if the boyfriend’s refusal to eat vegetables reflects a deeper unwillingness to care for himself, and that unwillingness persists even after honest discussions, it could become a significant strain on the relationship. In the long term, being with someone who won’t take care of their health could leave OP stuck as a caretaker for someone resistant to change. Ultimately, long-term compatibility often relies on shared values, including health priorities. If there’s no willingness to compromise or grow, leaving might be the best option for both parties.
Nahhhh you don't get to play that card hon. Reddit is *incredibly* misandrist. I've seen posts where a woman cheated on the male poster 20+ times and the whole sub was gaslighting him into going back with her. Don't even *start* with that BS.
Last story: YTA. Is the boyfriend being weird and dumb about vegetables? Yes. Yes he is. That doesn't change that its wrong to sneak things into other peoples food. Or is it okay to sneak meat into vegetarian and vegans food? No, right? Its the same. The reason behind the choice doesn't matter. The choice does.
Leaving out vegetables in our diet is a sure fire way to get some health condition like rickets or high cholesterol. It’s going to become an issue sooner or later, and I’m sure it will be “all OP’s fault” when it does. He’s a child 🙄
There's no context in which hiding stuff in somebody else's food is okay. He is allowed to choose what goes in his body. It is not childish to have a food preference.
First story: If they're in the US, I'm skeptical that they required the payment upfront for stuff not covered by insurance for any necessary procedure. Of course, sister will badmouth OP to everyone and claim it was life-or-death. I find it very unlikely that they'd be denied medical treatment for $1500 which is an insignificant amount when dealing with medical costs. There is a lot more to sister's situation than the manipulative appeal to help her child with medical expenses. Also, where are the parents with their money to help if they're going to pester OP about it.
Story 1. Op should ask their parents where they were when they needed help? They could have talked to their other daughter. Ask for evidence of the bill.
14:00 Before most of them moved away, one circle of friends celebrated Samhain with a Dumb Feast (e.g., a ritual meal during which [serving and eating], no one speaks, to honour ancestors). One newcomer to the group openly loathed green veggies, even peas. Now the rest of us have no issue with green vegetables, and one rule was one had to take a portion of each type of the buffet meal, so while we each has healthy portions of spinach, asparagus, peas, Brussels sprouts, etc, the greens on his plate would be a single pea, and the tiniest bit of each of the rest. It wasn't an allergy thing: he just hated greens the way my mother loathes Brussels sprouts (which is another comical story on its own). We found this behaviour of his amusing enough that each year we'd always have such greenery available, and while he complained profusely when the ritual was complete, during the delicious meal he had to suffer in silence.
Last story: I don't care what the context is. Putting stuff they don't want in someone's food is wrong. They get to choose what they want to put in their body. It doesn't matter how silly or stupid or childish you think it is, you do not get to put stuff in people's food when they don't want it in there.
15:40 "OP doesn't like something that's not a problem to anyone but her..." Right. It's a problem for her, because she makes most of the meals. The chef dictates the menu. The bf is an ignorant brat for 1) thinking a daily gummy vitamin fixes things, and 2) that he's entitled to her labor without her preferences. OP needs to find an adult to date. People with limited palates but unlimited expectations are exhausting.
That's also correct, have you seen them? Almost hollow people a lot of the time. There are cultures that are mainly vegetarian that do fine, they usually have milk, eggs, other things though.
Hiding veggie story: Tricking an adult who has clearly stated a food boundary is a dick move. He's a grown adult. It doesn't matter why he doesn't like vegetables, he's clearly communicated that he doesn't like them. She is definitely an AH for sneaking them into his food.
Exactly he's acting like a massive child and gf is trying to help him, but no means no. Put that in any other context and everyone would be calling her the ahole.
He’s going to get rickets or have a heart attack if he keeps up the “no vegetable” thing. And I wouldn’t want to stick around and watch someone slowly unalive themselves. Hope she leaves.
Having BEEN OP's husband(though I did still like peas, and carrots), I can't agree. I literally had to do this to myself to improve my health. OP is doing right by her husband here.
Dear Lord! Lay off the picky eater! I am in my 50s and extremely picky! Now, thankfully, I've seen a dietician and know how to eat properly even with slim pickens. I'm what they call a super taster where things have much more of a strong taste to me than most people. Now, if someone cooks something and I just happen to not notice something I don't like, but good for me, I would want them to keep making it. That is highly unlikely, though, as I can taste EVERYTHING. I was also, forced as a kid, to eat things I didn't like, even while gagging and throwing up. I never did that to my kids and now, they eat better than I do. But lay off picky eaters. There could be a damn good reason for it.
For story 1 I do not lend money to family because of oast experience of having issues or them getting all passive aggressive that I don't need the money back eveb if they promised to pay back. Some also, couldn't pay back because their finances aee always a racket and don't have spare money or so they said to pay me back. Which is ehy I made them do work instead. Like fixing something at home, some renovations if they know about that field or clean my house for a certain period until paid. I'm not sure how OP handles her lige but if she stated on the beginning that she is not good with her finances from a long period of time I would lend not 1000 usd but some money 200-300usd and state to pay oay back as soon as she had a job. That way if she failed I can just forget the money or ask her to come clean my house instead. I also wouldn't ask her money because I would think needs it. I would ask my parents, try to settle with the hospital or maybe ask the bank or friends. Doesn't make sense to ask money to people who tend to struggle with it.😅
you know the stepchildren need to love the stepparent is so creepy. Feels like the children don't have a right to have feelings or don't like a person.
4:28 they can sell stuff the same you did. I have a special HSA and I have to do the same for some things. But Id pawn my rings in a heartbeat for my kid not threaten my siblings.
Story 2. Nta. The mother is a total ahole . Op should tell everyone that the mother is deliberately lying to try prevent him having a relationship and "leaving her' and that he will likely never trust her again then, if possible, go low contact and NEVER share anything private with her. Tell the crush that she is the read n the mother lied because he once told her she was really attractive as a person and any guy who caught her eye would be lucky. You never know :)
So let me see if I’ve got this straight. Your fiancé‘s ex wants to make a big speech at your wedding, your fiancé‘s mother is on her side, and your fiancé the one who supposed to have your back won’t step up and tell both his mother and his ex that they are out of line? Is it too late to call off the wedding? I gotta tell you for sure I be thinking about doing that About the hiding the vegetable story: this is a very soft YTA, OP. Your boyfriend does not want to eat vegetables. Your response to that was to slip them into his food so that he eats them unknowingly. Your heart was in the right place, but put yourself in his shoes. How would you feel if someone slips something into your food that you didn’t want? I’m kind of on your side OP about the whole eating vegetables thing. But your boyfriend is a grown man. It is his choice to make. You don’t have to like it, but you do have to live with it instead of trying to make his choices for him.
This is one of those situations where helping an innocent third party would reward a guilty principle party. Unfortunately, in order for their to be justice, the innocent party has to suffer the consequences of the principle party's sins along with them.
Last story: NTA. My BIL didn't like vegetables either and my sister had to start wrapping veggies in bacon to get him to eat them. I have a friend who was raised without eating fruit and veggies and his current wife had to start introducing him to vegetables in more palatable forms. It's not like the boyfriend was a vegetarian and the OP slipped meat into his food. It's not like she slipped anything he's allergic to. He said he didn't like the texture of veggies so she changed the texture and he enjoyed the food. I really don't get why some people are so opposed to eating veggies though. I mean, I hated canned asparagus and canned green beans bc of the taste. But non-canned stuff is so much better.
Family Support: Did your sister forget what she had told you when you asked her for help? Remind her. Listen when you were in financial trouble, you were able to figure it out, and so can your sister and her husband😒
Last story: YTA! Imagine if he was vegetarian and she started sneaking meat into his diet. Everyone, absolutely everyone, would be calling her a monster!
Hates veggies? Big ol baby! I did that with my children and eventually told them. Once they saw they were eating them, they switched over to eating the vegetables in whole form. A multivitamin is NOT a replacement for proper eating. Get rid of this guy, he's going to be in poor health before you know it.
Exactly 💯 He acts like a child and so he's being treated like one; you get what you give. Also, it makes no sense that he hates veggies but eats a salad anyway
The first story: Sis needs to stop acting the victim. You get what you give. The parents can give her the money since they threw their two cents in. They can take out a loan.
The 2nd story, the second comment saying "Dude, your mom is so mean, I could cry" how old is this person? Anyways, OP's mom isn't being mean. But she is assuming that her son is gay because of the jokes he makes with a friend of his? I don't think that is how it works. Giving lame jokes does not mean someone is gay. But I wonder how is OP supposed to convince his mother that he is in fact straight? OP is NTA but his mom is for blabbing false information to her friends first instead of just talking to him when she first assumed he was gay. The 3rd story, I've read and heard a lot of stories where the ex is invited, every time I read that I always think back to a wedding episode in Friends, where it's Ross and Emily's wedding, Rachel appears and when they are saying their vows, Ross says Rachel's name instead of Emily's. Emily is of course very angry and upset. And of course what made it even worse was Ross inviting Rachel on his and Emily's honeymoon because he couldn't get a hold of his wife. Then there's How I met your Mother, where it's Ted's and Stella's wedding and Ted thinks it's a very good idea to invite their exes. Robin was of course unsure about even going and Stella ends up leaving Ted at the alter and taking off with her ex-boyfriend. So, these are some of the reasons why it is never a good idea to invite exes to your wedding. And I bet that something will go wrong and OP's wedding and fmil will encourage fiance and ex to get back together. OP needs to put her foot down and tell her fiance to step up, defend her or she will call off their wedding. I am so sick of men not backing their partners when it comes to their terrible family. OP is NTA and I really hope it all works out well for her. I have to say though, I just wonder what was the reason for fiance and the exes break up because most couples who break up, they don't stick around, I don't care how close the exes family is with OP's fiance's, it's weird.
Story #1 The CLASSY thing to do, AND the best revenge would have been to say EXACTLy what OP said over the phone, then wire her double the money asked for the moment after the call was hung up followed by a text saying "I GIVE you what you needed, NOT what you deserved, REMEMBER THIS, I will ALWAYS be a BETTER human being than you".
the story where OPs fiancé's ex wants to give a speech at OPs wedding, I'd draft up a contract that explicitly states that it can be done if and only if OP can do the same at Katie's wedding. and when everyone is up in and at that I'd break up with the spineless moronic fiancé. aholes everyone but op
Veggie story, what part of salad was he eating, well someone I know eats beans and quavers in their salad, no lettuce, tomatoes and most other stuff. lol another eats banana. I guess people eat what they like and call it a salad. lol 😂
Just to mention that men are more affected with GI cancers and there's been a recent spike among the young with GI cancers. This is un substantial proportion due to men/ the young eating too much processed food, poor in fibre. Eating vegetables is important, not only because of vitamin and mineral contentSaid this, I'd dump the boyfriend. It's true she's treating him as a child but that's because he behaved like a child. She'd find herself more mature.
Eating vegies story: Oh boy Op YTA. Your bf IS NOT your child. If HE doesn't want to eat vegies then HE doesn't have too and mommy gf shouldn't TRICK her wittle gf into eating them. As a man who loves to cook and is a personal trainer vitamins are supplements and not an alternative. With that said, at least he's getting some of the nutrients he needs. As a single dad yes I had to trick my kids into eating vegetables but this is a grown damn man. If he doesn't want to eat them then leave him the heck alone or find a new bf that does. Does he treat you well? Yes? Ok then.
The veggie story. OP is the AH to herself for dating a manchild that refuses to eat veggies. You deserve all the suffering this relationship gave you bc you chose to stay woth someone so ridiculous. I'm not sorry.
What woman stays with a man with a toddler appetite and has tantrums? Give him a bag of chicken nuggies and his suitcase then send him on his way to Mommy's house. And vitamins don't replace vegetables.
How do you make it to your freaking 30s while still having the mentality of a two year old when it comes to eating vegetables? Most of the stuff in those multivitamins just gets peed away, anyway.
And one multivitamin only gets you to a (poorly calculated) RDA minimum, that is if you could even absorb it all. Dude's going to be staring down diabetes, heart, colon or kidney issues in his future.
Final story: Yes, girlfriend is definitely the idiot. Don't sneak anything into someone else's food, especially something they expressly don't want to it. Doesn't matter if they notice or not. Doesn't matter if you think it's better for them or not. If this was a person didn't believe in allergies and was 'testing' their partners tolerance, she would be blasted. Same if her partner was vegan and she thought they wouldn't notice meat. Doesn't matter the reason, doesn't matter the intentions. You don't sneak anything into someone else's food, not matter why. It's a line you don't cross and there's never a right reason to do it. If you genuinely think they need some sort of help, you try to convince them, then you respect their choice. This is coming from a person who's parent snuck pharmaceutical drugs into my coffee for months because I was "sad". Don't do it ever.
Vegetable story, YTA. 16:18 is right. You had no right to tamper with your BF's food. You don't know better than he does. It's fine for him to not like vegetables, they ARE gross. If he doesn't like them, he doesn't have to eat them. He's a grown adult who can manage what he puts in his body, you're not his mother. Maybe there's another reason he doesn't like them, maybe they get him sick and he was embarrassed about it. Who knows? You're a boundary stomper. Back off. "Red flag" my ass. Tampering with someone's food is the red flag here.
who refuses to eat vegetables???? i mean, i don't really like veggies a lot tbh, but even i eat at least some! they're such a big part of so many dishes. how is he eating anything???? 😭
Story 1: If someone came to me crying begging for money and i refused, there is NOOO way i’d come to them expecting money. NTA Op your parents suck though lol
Veggie story-YTA. Ypu are giving him something he doesnt want. So what if he was vegan or vegetarian and pp snuck in meat? Same problem. He is being tricked into eating soemthing he doesnt want
That last story the OP is YTA. Has she thought that her partner is neurodivergent and he has a food sensory issue but is aware enough to know a multivitamin is a good compromise to keep him healthy? Jesus, I am neurodivergent and would feel betrayed by this.
Last story: switch the food: imagine sneaking animal products into a vegan's food because multivitams don't work and people need meat. No one would say she was just helping. Meat is needed too, so it's just our bias that excuses vegans.
Won’t eat vegetables? What is he, frikken 5? No wonder the hide the spinach game worked! Allergies are one thing, dietary restrictions are another; but I don’t like the IDEA of spinach? WTF grow up. The only thing I’d be hiding would be my new phone number and social media 😂.
All the comments on the last story are way off yes humans are omnivores but I’m guessing they’ve never heard of the caveman diet and how it can and has actually improves your health. Yes for most of human evolution meat was around 90% of our diet
Vegetable story, BF said he doesn't like the texture of vegetables so she changed the texture 🤷🏾♀️. He enjoyed the food so he is acting like a toddler.
Why can't you respect the fact that he doesn't want to eat it? You are manipulating him and then gaslighting him. There are literally thousands of people that eat a carnivore diet and get their additional dietary needs through supplements. Why can't you just let him be without trying to manipulate and control him. It is manipulation when you are intentionally trying to hide what you are doing to get him to do what you want instead of allowing him autonomy to make his own decisions.
While not loaning money (that you are not willing to lose) to family is solid reasoning. Not giving anything or trying to help at all is kind of heartless and likely to backfire. Also, once you make that decision is is foolish to ever think that person will help you when you need it. I think I am going to go with everyone is igit or no ones the igit. She was not obligated to help you but she could have tried to help somehow. Op likely would have helped except she was angry from not receiving help. Neither were obligated but both siblings were kind of heartless toward the other. I guess op maybe less of igit as it was a response to previous igitness toward her, but then she was well aware she was denying based on that past experience. The sister though not realizing she was reaping what she sown is absolutely igit behavior as well as running to parents (btw why don't they help...or help you).
Last story I see nothing wrong with blending vegetables into food for people who don’t eat vegetables mothers have been doing it and wives have been doing it for decades. Everyone who thinks she’s the idiot is the idiot
Last story YTA You don't "have" to eat vegetables to get the nutrients from them. That's what supplements are for. Just like if he were vegan. You'd don't "have" to eat meat to get the proteins from them. You can literally get them from artificial means. It ISNT childish to acknowledge foods you don't like. It's severely childish to trick someone against their dietary wishes KNOWING they don't like them to get them in a gotcha moment. It's very conniving and condescending. The only child is you OP. Grow up. Stop trying to force things into his mouth he doesn't like. If he's getting the nutrients from artificial supplements you're not doing this to help him. You're doing it to prove a stupid point, but you're not even proving him wrong. You're just proving you don't respect him enough to make decisions what he likes to eat.
My mom thinks I'm gay Story: Dude, that's your fault. The world sees what you present. If they read it as gay but you don't like it, do something about how you present yourself to the world. You DO NOT want to ask that girl out on a date only for her to respond, "Really? I thought you were gay. I was going to introduce you to my brother."
I will have to say ETA in the first story. The sister said no to aiding OP from becoming homeless while OP said no to helping her niece's life. That isnt family.
Last one yeah the dude is a picky crybaby who she should get away from, but no means no. He said no you don't then get to force him to do something after that. Imagine someone saying no and then being put through it anyway in any other context. We all know where the term no means no originates, where do you draw the line if no doesn't actually mean no?
Vegetable story, BF said he doesn't like the texture of vegetables so she changed the texture 🤷🏾♀️. He enjoyed the food so he is acting like a toddler.
It’s amazing how when OP asked her sister for help she flat out says no but when the shoes on the other foot OP is the unreasonable one for refusing.
Sister is a moron for thinking what she told OP wouldn't come and bite her in the ass
Opie should tell her, "I'm sorry. I would love to help, but I can't. It has been made extremely clear to me that if I am ever in a bind and need money, I can not rely on anybody else to help me. That means I need to make sure that I can take care of myself if something bad happens to me because the people I was supposed to rely on when things got bad showed me that I couldn't do so. The money I have in savings is to protect myself from the future if anything were to happen to me."
And she likely knew OP would say what she said but thought using her child would soften her. A child OP likely hasn’t seen due to their distance. Children aren’t bargaining chips
Just say no and do not ever tell your family your financial situation again. It has only been 2 years. How do they even know you gave that much in savings? You need at least 6 months in savings in case of emergencies. If you have more than that you might consider paying the hospital directly with the caveat that the insurance is reimbursed directly to you.
@@lorilancaster5917that's exactly what I thought because if the story takes place in the USA, then there are TONS of options to help kids
RE: 1,500 Dollars
Hospitals offer BOATLOADS of Financial Aid packages - especially for children. Sister's situation sounds like the biggest racket since King Kong took up tennis.
Yeah, in this case if OP did decide to help out it would need to be a check paid directly to the hospital.
Of course, that's not how hospitals work in general. As the comments said, the bill goes to the insurance company for what it will pay, and the family gets the bill for the copay and what insurance doesn't cover. There's almost never a "you pay, and we repay" part of health insurance unless they later realize they should have covered something.
OP's sister KNEW OP would remember how the sister didn't help her & probably throw that back in her face so she's using the daughter to try and shame OP. I doubt the niece is even sick
@@patrickdix772- Some insurances ARE like this, but they are like this with all bills, not certain things. And usually they are not proper insurance plans, but things like Christian Healthcare Community, where several people are paying into it and the members are able to use it as needed. I DO personally think something is fishy in this story though. If I were OP I would only pay the hospital, not sis. Source: I work in insurance.
Just say flat out no to sister. She can get help with the Hospital and other places..Now she wants to criticize you for saying no. Tell her to pound sand.....This sounds like a scam to me......Tell her to get over herself a d ego.....
The fiancé is not "staying out of it". His silence is complicity. His mother is overbearing. The ex is overstepping.
Because we know that fiancé won’t stay out of it if OP decides unilaterally, since he’s staying out of it, to not invite his ex
The ex is 100% going to make a scene at the wedding. MIL's choice is clearly the ex. Why the man is just sitting there with water in his mouth is beyond me. It reeks of desperation on the ex and MILs part to get them back together.
Story 1: NTA And the parents are right. It's not about the sister. It's about OP being able to take care of herself.
" Sorry, I can't help you. It has been made extremely clear to me that if I ever get into a bind, I am the only person I can rely on so I need to make sure I have enough savings to take care of myself because the people in my life I thought I could rely on weree not there for me when I needed them. The money I have in savings is for a rainy day if that were to happen again."
Story 2: Imagine having to come out as straight to your parents.
That's some mirror-universe s**t going on!
It happened to my friend, the mother only believed it when he got married to a woman and she got pregnant.
If I saw someone saying to a future bride that her wedding day isn't about her I would immediately assume they were sharing two brain cells with someone else and today was not their turn 😂
Your parents can pay sis the 1,000$, you don’t owe her a penny. She wasn’t there for you why be there for her. The niece isn’t your responsibility.
Yeah. When people use "do it for your niece/nephew" it never ends. They'll use them against you forever.
If he WAS gay, then she outed him to everyone before he was ready so she's double TA for that one
Absolutely! She wants to be a 'Gay Mom'.
@@carolroberts4614 Exactly. Sounds like she wants to be different mom so she would feel "special"
@@carolroberts4614and now if she wants a relationship with her son, she has to backtrack with all her friends and clear the air. However it sounds like OP would have to blast her online since she doesn’t want to admit fault
She's the one who's lame 😆Even if she was right, and the friend was laughing at lame jokes out of attraction, it would only indicate the friend might be gay, not her son. Yeah, she's trying to earn her "parental martyr" badge.
Oh well. Get a loan from a bank or something. OP was absolutely correct to not give that witch a dime.
And sister’s story has more holes than Swiss cheese.
@@lorilancaster5917 Ikr? If she's going to get "reimbursed" then the parents don't have much risk. Besides, taking out $1500 plus fees from their retirement isn't going to be any sort of a big hit. Worst case, most credit card companies will approve someone with decent credit a 3-5K card no problem. I smell something fishy.
@@user-wr3vt8uq4s if a person's policy is to never loan money to relatives because they know it's highly unlikely they will be paid back is fair. Thing is you have to be prepared for that same policy to be used on you by other family members.
Story 1: If sister really needed money that desperately then she should have just apologized. Since she didn't, I guess she doesn't really need it
That first story hurts. My sister always helps if she can, and I help her when I can. That's what sisters do!
Story 1: OP is NTA. Sis set the standard in the first place,so what's good for the goose is good for the gander
And tell them to either sell their own stuff,get a loan or the most "impossible thing ever": get sis to genuinely apologize for being cold then and setting an unfair standard
Veggie story: ESH if she does all the cooking, she should just cook without hiding the veggies and if he doesn’t like it, he can make something for himself. That said, tricking someone into eating foods they don’t like is not okay and is more likely to aggravate his current avoidance issues than help him.
Where was all this outrage from the parents when the sister was going to let her be homeless?
Not-gay story: NTA. LOL, mom's reason is so dumb!! She needs to clear the air right now with her friends xD Certain types of humor is not a mark of certain sexualities.
The last story, ie veggie tale. While I agree that the boyfriends attitude towards food is childish. You don't get free passes to mess with someone's food, to lie or belittle people just because your right. So she is the Ahole here.
Story #1: NTA!! I love your shiny titanium spine!!
Story one: Easiest NTA of my life. OP should tell the parents to cough up the money if they got so much to say
Story 1 is not a idiot this a good time for her to think of helping people good karma will come back
Story 2: Just a thing that happened with my family, but some extended relative was visiting my grandma when me and my sister were there after school. This relative decided that I (a 10ish year-old boy) must be gay and told my grandma this. I have no idea where that came from, or how they decided this. It turns out that I'm not gay, but I am aromantic, and I only learned about this relative's claim when I was in my mid 20s.
Story 1 > I'd love to help, but I'm flat broke, as usual. I'm barely making my rent and bills, and I've debt too - car payments, insurance payments, gas, utilities, etc. I'd love to help, but I'm flat broke and YOU know I am. Remember me asking you for help with rent only 2 years ago?
First story: NTA, but if it were me, I would give my sister money, but that's also because I have a great relationship with my sister and I wouldn't want to see her struggle. OP said she doesn't have a good relationship with her sister, and her sister was cruel to her, so what goes around, comes around. She should've helped you when you needed help, now she can reap what she sows.
I understand that Veggie OP had good intentions, but they’re definitely in the wrong here. Trust and honesty are key in a relationship, and hiding vegetables in someone’s food crosses a line. That said, if the boyfriend’s refusal to eat vegetables reflects a deeper unwillingness to care for himself, and that unwillingness persists even after honest discussions, it could become a significant strain on the relationship. In the long term, being with someone who won’t take care of their health could leave OP stuck as a caretaker for someone resistant to change. Ultimately, long-term compatibility often relies on shared values, including health priorities. If there’s no willingness to compromise or grow, leaving might be the best option for both parties.
It's funny how quickly "never tamper with someone else's food" goes out the window when it's a dude complaining about being tricked
Nahhhh you don't get to play that card hon. Reddit is *incredibly* misandrist. I've seen posts where a woman cheated on the male poster 20+ times and the whole sub was gaslighting him into going back with her. Don't even *start* with that BS.
@laargboolag9147 Ill play whatever card i want and if you have a problem you can go cry to something who cares.
@@laargboolag9147you are literally saying what the OP said.
Last story: YTA. Is the boyfriend being weird and dumb about vegetables? Yes. Yes he is. That doesn't change that its wrong to sneak things into other peoples food. Or is it okay to sneak meat into vegetarian and vegans food? No, right? Its the same. The reason behind the choice doesn't matter. The choice does.
Story 4: NTA. Stepmom is a flat out lunatic.
And why is OPs dad still with her?
My thoughts exactly
Last story: They're both being petty, but he's the only one being childish, which does beg the question "why stay?".
Exactly because by hiding veggies, OP is basically acting like a mom to him which isn’t a healthy dynamic.
@@lorilancaster5917 I agree. Bc he’s acting like a child.
Leaving out vegetables in our diet is a sure fire way to get some health condition like rickets or high cholesterol. It’s going to become an issue sooner or later, and I’m sure it will be “all OP’s fault” when it does. He’s a child 🙄
@@brookelynnwu8016 and multivitamins can only do so much. I’m also betting they’re gummies
There's no context in which hiding stuff in somebody else's food is okay. He is allowed to choose what goes in his body. It is not childish to have a food preference.
First story: If they're in the US, I'm skeptical that they required the payment upfront for stuff not covered by insurance for any necessary procedure. Of course, sister will badmouth OP to everyone and claim it was life-or-death. I find it very unlikely that they'd be denied medical treatment for $1500 which is an insignificant amount when dealing with medical costs. There is a lot more to sister's situation than the manipulative appeal to help her child with medical expenses. Also, where are the parents with their money to help if they're going to pester OP about it.
The parents know in their heart of hearts there will never be any reimbursement so there's no way they'll tap into their retirement fund.
Story 1. Op should ask their parents where they were when they needed help? They could have talked to their other daughter. Ask for evidence of the bill.
14:00 Before most of them moved away, one circle of friends celebrated Samhain with a Dumb Feast (e.g., a ritual meal during which [serving and eating], no one speaks, to honour ancestors).
One newcomer to the group openly loathed green veggies, even peas. Now the rest of us have no issue with green vegetables, and one rule was one had to take a portion of each type of the buffet meal, so while we each has healthy portions of spinach, asparagus, peas, Brussels sprouts, etc, the greens on his plate would be a single pea, and the tiniest bit of each of the rest. It wasn't an allergy thing: he just hated greens the way my mother loathes Brussels sprouts (which is another comical story on its own).
We found this behaviour of his amusing enough that each year we'd always have such greenery available, and while he complained profusely when the ritual was complete, during the delicious meal he had to suffer in silence.
Last story: I don't care what the context is. Putting stuff they don't want in someone's food is wrong. They get to choose what they want to put in their body. It doesn't matter how silly or stupid or childish you think it is, you do not get to put stuff in people's food when they don't want it in there.
I need X for medical bills is always suspicious.
offer to pay the bill, not the person
15:40 "OP doesn't like something that's not a problem to anyone but her..." Right. It's a problem for her, because she makes most of the meals. The chef dictates the menu. The bf is an ignorant brat for 1) thinking a daily gummy vitamin fixes things, and 2) that he's entitled to her labor without her preferences. OP needs to find an adult to date. People with limited palates but unlimited expectations are exhausting.
"limited palates but unlimited expectations" is such a great way to phrase it! Spot on, and I hope OP dumped her toddler boyfriend lol
That "Your jokes are SO BAD only a guy down bad for you would laugh" 😂😂😂
“Supplements do not replace real food.”
Good to know. Now say the same thing about a vegan and see how Reddit reacts.
Isn’t Reddit notorious for being anti vegan?
That's also correct, have you seen them? Almost hollow people a lot of the time. There are cultures that are mainly vegetarian that do fine, they usually have milk, eggs, other things though.
Hiding veggie story: Tricking an adult who has clearly stated a food boundary is a dick move. He's a grown adult. It doesn't matter why he doesn't like vegetables, he's clearly communicated that he doesn't like them. She is definitely an AH for sneaking them into his food.
Exactly he's acting like a massive child and gf is trying to help him, but no means no. Put that in any other context and everyone would be calling her the ahole.
He’s going to get rickets or have a heart attack if he keeps up the “no vegetable” thing. And I wouldn’t want to stick around and watch someone slowly unalive themselves. Hope she leaves.
@@brookelynnwu8016 14:00
@@brookelynnwu8016 a Fascist vegetable lover, wouldn't be the first one of those the world has seen.
Having BEEN OP's husband(though I did still like peas, and carrots), I can't agree. I literally had to do this to myself to improve my health. OP is doing right by her husband here.
Dear Lord! Lay off the picky eater! I am in my 50s and extremely picky! Now, thankfully, I've seen a dietician and know how to eat properly even with slim pickens. I'm what they call a super taster where things have much more of a strong taste to me than most people. Now, if someone cooks something and I just happen to not notice something I don't like, but good for me, I would want them to keep making it. That is highly unlikely, though, as I can taste EVERYTHING. I was also, forced as a kid, to eat things I didn't like, even while gagging and throwing up. I never did that to my kids and now, they eat better than I do. But lay off picky eaters. There could be a damn good reason for it.
1: Lend her the money…100% Interest!! Written Contract…
For story 1 I do not lend money to family because of oast experience of having issues or them getting all passive aggressive that I don't need the money back eveb if they promised to pay back. Some also, couldn't pay back because their finances aee always a racket and don't have spare money or so they said to pay me back. Which is ehy I made them do work instead. Like fixing something at home, some renovations if they know about that field or clean my house for a certain period until paid.
I'm not sure how OP handles her lige but if she stated on the beginning that she is not good with her finances from a long period of time I would lend not 1000 usd but some money 200-300usd and state to pay oay back as soon as she had a job. That way if she failed I can just forget the money or ask her to come clean my house instead.
I also wouldn't ask her money because I would think needs it. I would ask my parents, try to settle with the hospital or maybe ask the bank or friends. Doesn't make sense to ask money to people who tend to struggle with it.😅
you know the stepchildren need to love the stepparent is so creepy. Feels like the children don't have a right to have feelings or don't like a person.
4:28 they can sell stuff the same you did. I have a special HSA and I have to do the same for some things. But Id pawn my rings in a heartbeat for my kid not threaten my siblings.
I would never lend money to family. I would give it if I CHOSE TO
OP literally described how the Greeks depicted their gods.
His choosing to stay out of it, is a choice and it shows your feelings dont matter to him. Cancel the wedding.
Story 3: NTA. This reeks of a trap of some kind.
Story 2. Nta. The mother is a total ahole . Op should tell everyone that the mother is deliberately lying to try prevent him having a relationship and "leaving her' and that he will likely never trust her again then, if possible, go low contact and NEVER share anything private with her. Tell the crush that she is the read n the mother lied because he once told her she was really attractive as a person and any guy who caught her eye would be lucky. You never know :)
So let me see if I’ve got this straight. Your fiancé‘s ex wants to make a big speech at your wedding, your fiancé‘s mother is on her side, and your fiancé the one who supposed to have your back won’t step up and tell both his mother and his ex that they are out of line? Is it too late to call off the wedding? I gotta tell you for sure I be thinking about doing that
About the hiding the vegetable story: this is a very soft YTA, OP. Your boyfriend does not want to eat vegetables. Your response to that was to slip them into his food so that he eats them unknowingly. Your heart was in the right place, but put yourself in his shoes. How would you feel if someone slips something into your food that you didn’t want? I’m kind of on your side OP about the whole eating vegetables thing. But your boyfriend is a grown man. It is his choice to make. You don’t have to like it, but you do have to live with it instead of trying to make his choices for him.
If the family cares then they can help
This is one of those situations where helping an innocent third party would reward a guilty principle party. Unfortunately, in order for their to be justice, the innocent party has to suffer the consequences of the principle party's sins along with them.
Yeah, insurance doesn't work that way. Sister is scamming OP for sure.
Last story: NTA. My BIL didn't like vegetables either and my sister had to start wrapping veggies in bacon to get him to eat them. I have a friend who was raised without eating fruit and veggies and his current wife had to start introducing him to vegetables in more palatable forms. It's not like the boyfriend was a vegetarian and the OP slipped meat into his food. It's not like she slipped anything he's allergic to. He said he didn't like the texture of veggies so she changed the texture and he enjoyed the food. I really don't get why some people are so opposed to eating veggies though. I mean, I hated canned asparagus and canned green beans bc of the taste. But non-canned stuff is so much better.
So breaking boundaries is okay?
So if you are vegan and they sneak in meat would you be okay?
Family Support: Did your sister forget what she had told you when you asked her for help? Remind her. Listen when you were in financial trouble, you were able to figure it out, and so can your sister and her husband😒
Last story: YTA! Imagine if he was vegetarian and she started sneaking meat into his diet. Everyone, absolutely everyone, would be calling her a monster!
Hates veggies?
Big ol baby!
I did that with my children and eventually told them. Once they saw they were eating them, they switched over to eating the vegetables in whole form.
A multivitamin is NOT a replacement for proper eating.
Get rid of this guy, he's going to be in poor health before you know it.
Exactly 💯
He acts like a child and so he's being treated like one; you get what you give. Also, it makes no sense that he hates veggies but eats a salad anyway
The first story: Sis needs to stop acting the victim. You get what you give. The parents can give her the money since they threw their two cents in. They can take out a loan.
The 2nd story, the second comment saying "Dude, your mom is so mean, I could cry" how old is this person? Anyways, OP's mom isn't being mean. But she is assuming that her son is gay because of the jokes he makes with a friend of his? I don't think that is how it works. Giving lame jokes does not mean someone is gay. But I wonder how is OP supposed to convince his mother that he is in fact straight? OP is NTA but his mom is for blabbing false information to her friends first instead of just talking to him when she first assumed he was gay.
The 3rd story, I've read and heard a lot of stories where the ex is invited, every time I read that I always think back to a wedding episode in Friends, where it's Ross and Emily's wedding, Rachel appears and when they are saying their vows, Ross says Rachel's name instead of Emily's. Emily is of course very angry and upset. And of course what made it even worse was Ross inviting Rachel on his and Emily's honeymoon because he couldn't get a hold of his wife. Then there's How I met your Mother, where it's Ted's and Stella's wedding and Ted thinks it's a very good idea to invite their exes. Robin was of course unsure about even going and Stella ends up leaving Ted at the alter and taking off with her ex-boyfriend. So, these are some of the reasons why it is never a good idea to invite exes to your wedding. And I bet that something will go wrong and OP's wedding and fmil will encourage fiance and ex to get back together. OP needs to put her foot down and tell her fiance to step up, defend her or she will call off their wedding. I am so sick of men not backing their partners when it comes to their terrible family. OP is NTA and I really hope it all works out well for her. I have to say though, I just wonder what was the reason for fiance and the exes break up because most couples who break up, they don't stick around, I don't care how close the exes family is with OP's fiance's, it's weird.
Story #1
The CLASSY thing to do, AND the best revenge would have been to say EXACTLy what OP said over the phone, then wire her double the money asked for the moment after the call was hung up followed by a text saying "I GIVE you what you needed, NOT what you deserved, REMEMBER THIS, I will ALWAYS be a BETTER human being than you".
the story where OPs fiancé's ex wants to give a speech at OPs wedding, I'd draft up a contract that explicitly states that it can be done if and only if OP can do the same at Katie's wedding. and when everyone is up in and at that I'd break up with the spineless moronic fiancé. aholes everyone but op
Veggie story, what part of salad was he eating, well someone I know eats beans and quavers in their salad, no lettuce, tomatoes and most other stuff. lol another eats banana. I guess people eat what they like and call it a salad. lol 😂
Just to mention that men are more affected with GI cancers and there's been a recent spike among the young with GI cancers. This is un substantial proportion due to men/ the young eating too much processed food, poor in fibre. Eating vegetables is important, not only because of vitamin and mineral contentSaid this, I'd dump the boyfriend. It's true she's treating him as a child but that's because he behaved like a child. She'd find herself more mature.
Eating vegies story: Oh boy Op YTA. Your bf IS NOT your child. If HE doesn't want to eat vegies then HE doesn't have too and mommy gf shouldn't TRICK her wittle gf into eating them. As a man who loves to cook and is a personal trainer vitamins are supplements and not an alternative. With that said, at least he's getting some of the nutrients he needs. As a single dad yes I had to trick my kids into eating vegetables but this is a grown damn man. If he doesn't want to eat them then leave him the heck alone or find a new bf that does. Does he treat you well? Yes? Ok then.
If your potential s.o. eats like a toddler ask yourself, are they childish in other ways? Do you want to date a child?
The veggie story. OP is the AH to herself for dating a manchild that refuses to eat veggies. You deserve all the suffering this relationship gave you bc you chose to stay woth someone so ridiculous. I'm not sorry.
What woman stays with a man with a toddler appetite and has tantrums? Give him a bag of chicken nuggies and his suitcase then send him on his way to Mommy's house. And vitamins don't replace vegetables.
How do you make it to your freaking 30s while still having the mentality of a two year old when it comes to eating vegetables? Most of the stuff in those multivitamins just gets peed away, anyway.
And one multivitamin only gets you to a (poorly calculated) RDA minimum, that is if you could even absorb it all. Dude's going to be staring down diabetes, heart, colon or kidney issues in his future.
Final story: Yes, girlfriend is definitely the idiot. Don't sneak anything into someone else's food, especially something they expressly don't want to it. Doesn't matter if they notice or not. Doesn't matter if you think it's better for them or not.
If this was a person didn't believe in allergies and was 'testing' their partners tolerance, she would be blasted. Same if her partner was vegan and she thought they wouldn't notice meat. Doesn't matter the reason, doesn't matter the intentions. You don't sneak anything into someone else's food, not matter why. It's a line you don't cross and there's never a right reason to do it.
If you genuinely think they need some sort of help, you try to convince them, then you respect their choice. This is coming from a person who's parent snuck pharmaceutical drugs into my coffee for months because I was "sad". Don't do it ever.
Last Story: NTA!! From now on out, Let the big baby cook his own food!! You're not his mama!!
So if he was vegan and she snuck in meat would she still be NTA?
Vegetable story, YTA. 16:18 is right. You had no right to tamper with your BF's food. You don't know better than he does. It's fine for him to not like vegetables, they ARE gross. If he doesn't like them, he doesn't have to eat them. He's a grown adult who can manage what he puts in his body, you're not his mother. Maybe there's another reason he doesn't like them, maybe they get him sick and he was embarrassed about it. Who knows? You're a boundary stomper. Back off. "Red flag" my ass. Tampering with someone's food is the red flag here.
who refuses to eat vegetables???? i mean, i don't really like veggies a lot tbh, but even i eat at least some! they're such a big part of so many dishes. how is he eating anything???? 😭
Story 1: If someone came to me crying begging for money and i refused, there is NOOO way i’d come to them expecting money.
NTA Op your parents suck though lol
Story 1: NTA and op isn’t in the wrong.
Story 2: NTA and op isn’t wrong .
Veggie story-YTA. Ypu are giving him something he doesnt want.
So what if he was vegan or vegetarian and pp snuck in meat? Same problem.
He is being tricked into eating soemthing he doesnt want
That last story the OP is YTA. Has she thought that her partner is neurodivergent and he has a food sensory issue but is aware enough to know a multivitamin is a good compromise to keep him healthy? Jesus, I am neurodivergent and would feel betrayed by this.
Call CPS and have them do a wellness check on niece.
No. Don't waste CPS' time with petty shit. That's why no one takes real abuse seriously. Niece isn't being abused, there's literally no sign of that.
Last story: switch the food: imagine sneaking animal products into a vegan's food because multivitams don't work and people need meat. No one would say she was just helping. Meat is needed too, so it's just our bias that excuses vegans.
Last story. So op is not a child for tricking her bf to eating something he hates and refuse to eat but he is a child? Smhia
Thay last story really highlights how "ok" out culture has become with women manipulating men
Won’t eat vegetables? What is he, frikken 5? No wonder the hide the spinach game worked! Allergies are one thing, dietary restrictions are another; but I don’t like the IDEA of spinach? WTF grow up. The only thing I’d be hiding would be my new phone number and social media 😂.
All the comments on the last story are way off yes humans are omnivores but I’m guessing they’ve never heard of the caveman diet and how it can and has actually improves your health. Yes for most of human evolution meat was around 90% of our diet
Vegetable story, BF said he doesn't like the texture of vegetables so she changed the texture 🤷🏾♀️. He enjoyed the food so he is acting like a toddler.
Nobody asked her to do that. She's not his mother.
Why can't you respect the fact that he doesn't want to eat it? You are manipulating him and then gaslighting him. There are literally thousands of people that eat a carnivore diet and get their additional dietary needs through supplements. Why can't you just let him be without trying to manipulate and control him. It is manipulation when you are intentionally trying to hide what you are doing to get him to do what you want instead of allowing him autonomy to make his own decisions.
While not loaning money (that you are not willing to lose) to family is solid reasoning. Not giving anything or trying to help at all is kind of heartless and likely to backfire. Also, once you make that decision is is foolish to ever think that person will help you when you need it.
I think I am going to go with everyone is igit or no ones the igit. She was not obligated to help you but she could have tried to help somehow. Op likely would have helped except she was angry from not receiving help. Neither were obligated but both siblings were kind of heartless toward the other. I guess op maybe less of igit as it was a response to previous igitness toward her, but then she was well aware she was denying based on that past experience. The sister though not realizing she was reaping what she sown is absolutely igit behavior as well as running to parents (btw why don't they help...or help you).
Story 5: YTA. Secretly feeding people food they don't want is unacceptable. Stop treating him like a child. You ARE a control freak.
Last story I see nothing wrong with blending vegetables into food for people who don’t eat vegetables mothers have been doing it and wives have been doing it for decades. Everyone who thinks she’s the idiot is the idiot
Last story YTA
You don't "have" to eat vegetables to get the nutrients from them. That's what supplements are for. Just like if he were vegan. You'd don't "have" to eat meat to get the proteins from them. You can literally get them from artificial means. It ISNT childish to acknowledge foods you don't like. It's severely childish to trick someone against their dietary wishes KNOWING they don't like them to get them in a gotcha moment. It's very conniving and condescending. The only child is you OP. Grow up. Stop trying to force things into his mouth he doesn't like. If he's getting the nutrients from artificial supplements you're not doing this to help him. You're doing it to prove a stupid point, but you're not even proving him wrong. You're just proving you don't respect him enough to make decisions what he likes to eat.
My mom thinks I'm gay Story: Dude, that's your fault. The world sees what you present. If they read it as gay but you don't like it, do something about how you present yourself to the world. You DO NOT want to ask that girl out on a date only for her to respond, "Really? I thought you were gay. I was going to introduce you to my brother."
I will have to say ETA in the first story. The sister said no to aiding OP from becoming homeless while OP said no to helping her niece's life. That isnt family.
Story 3: NTA
Story 4: NTA and I don’t blame op
Last story : NTA and op isn’t wrong for tricking the picky crybaby
Last one yeah the dude is a picky crybaby who she should get away from, but no means no. He said no you don't then get to force him to do something after that.
Imagine someone saying no and then being put through it anyway in any other context. We all know where the term no means no originates, where do you draw the line if no doesn't actually mean no?
your opinions really hold no water now. Since you like to change one of your answers to the “incorrect” one to farm engagement or something.
First??
Vegetable story, BF said he doesn't like the texture of vegetables so she changed the texture 🤷🏾♀️. He enjoyed the food so he is acting like a toddler.