Services would jump backwards and do crazy things just to keep bio families together. Sadly, more often than not, at the expense of the child suffering in the process. That’s why it’s so hard to get away from the abuse when you are a child: even if you speak up “statistics” (families that stayed together) are more important than an individual
@@mldiluna969 There might not be any, the parents might've both been only children and their parents, OP'S grandparents, have passed on. And if they DO exist, they might be estranged or just simply not care.
Story 1: OP, "Dad, I'm used to being left behind by you since you put stepdaughter ahead of me nearly all the time." Dad: "OP, I will stop that. I promise." French narrator: *A Few Moments Later* Dad: "Hey OP, can you move your wedding date so I can give away stepdaughter first?" 😒 OP is NTA.
And the fact they tried to sabotage OP while she was at work. Part of me feels like stepsister is only getting married to test OPs dad and for OP to not get what she wants yet again. They FAFO
@@rogueshark23 I’m a horrible person but I think OP should walk down the aisle carrying a photo of her mother so she can have a real parent with her that day. Or if she’s cool with FIL, he walk her and she posts the pics for donor to see
The stepsister was trying to prove that the father loves her more than the bio daughter. She proved it right. OP don't be a second used daughter anymore. Disown the useless father forever!
I don't get dad prioritizing the stepdaughter because "she doesn't have a father". That makes zero sense. She has a living mother & because the dad is acting this way now OP has zero parents & the stepwitch has 2 parents. It's unfair from any prospective that isn't stupid.
No kidding. How about the dad realize that his biological daughter who he helped make should be his priority. There's no indication he adopted the stepdaughter either. And besides, OP reserved that date first, so why should she move it?
Dad chooses the stepdaughter because he is married to her mom and doesn’t want drama in his marriage. Simple as that. It’s not about loving the stepdaughter more, he’s just a coward who doesn’t have a backbone.
I had to go back 5 times in order to listen to OP give it to dad & his little princess! It was that good😂!!! Gosh I wish I was that great on my come backs❤!!! Hope OP never let's dad dupe her again😊!!!
@@trixmania better yet, when is OP announcing her pregnancy? Because sis will miraculously be pregnant and when OP's baby is Born announced that she lost the baby
Story 1. Your Dad is abusive. Block him tell him he is dead to you.Forget him, he is not worth it. He should have been in jail when he left a child alone in a mall in another state.
Story 1: Dad is going to sorely regret his decision in a decade when he sees pictures of his grandchildren on social media and finally understands what he lost that day when he reaches out to his daughter and she informs him that he will NEVER see them or her EVER AGAIN!!!
i was thinking along these lines. He's willing to miss out on a relationship with any potential grandchildren to appease his "step" daughter? Also, I'm sure that OP's mother's side of the family and his family do not favor the stepdaughter over their biological niece/granddaughter/cousin etc. OP's father is a loser, best for her to use this occasion to cut contact altogether and live her best life.
"Your stepsister did nothing wrong..." Except blatantly lie about that one day being the only day available for her wedding. OP needs to just forget about these people, none of them are of any value to her anymore anyway.
OP was petty and vindictive in her response but every person has a limit on the crap and screwing over they will take before striking back. Dad is so use to OP just rolling over and taking the hits that he honestly thought she do so again for her own wedding that's been booked for over a year. Can't wait for the updates. As for stepsister being left in tears that's a price she's paying for her treachery.
@@MrJpaynebb you're right about people having limits before they just don't give a **** and let loose, blunt, and brutal. Op had the patience of a saint to put up with all of that and snapped after 10 years. I think that I have the patience of a saint too, putting up with my mother's narcissistic tendencies and neglect for around twenty years. With all that she put me through and even put me back in a dangerous situation because she wanted to stay on the night shift, nevermind the psychological trauma and potential physical trauma from an old, creepy peeper that had authority over me that also molested me, disguised as wrestling accidents while he wrestled me and his son who was my friend. Unfortunately, I didn't get the chance that Op did of telling her that she's dead to me and to eff off.
@@marymasavage8986as someone that's from 2 fighting families, I never understood siblings or family members NOT getting physical. I remember growing up, saying hi to visiting family, and then jumping into first fights with my cousins because someone called someone a crybaby or because someone is eating with their mouth open. A sibling like the StepSis definitely would've been on her 2 set of dentures and had multiple holes in her walls from her getting tackled and at least 4 yearly suplexes
@@lorilancaster5917Yeah, I don’t understand why the husband was OK with his mother and sister sleeping on the sheets where he screwed his wife (understand even _less_ why the mother and sister were OK with it). Like, it’d be a different story if OP had had a chance to clean the room and put fresh sheets on the bed, but she’d already cleaned the guest room for them-why was that not good enough for them but dirty sheets were fine?
Story 1: "I don't know how your dad keeps falling for stepsis' power play over and over". I do. It's called the Dad is a covert Narcissist/Enabler who sold his soul to a "Demon in the Sack". God only knows exactly what it is about the stepmom since neither she nor her actions/complicity are described at all, but it sounds like stepsis is an entitled Golden Child who never grew out of Golden Child Syndrome and may have morphed into a legit full-blown Cluster of Bees (ONLY refers to abusive instances of Cluster B) herself.
That, and he gets a warm fuzzy feeling from his altruism of being a real father to his stepdaughter who never had one, that completely glosses over the fact that he already has a daughter and that he isn't being a father figure to her. Similar case to AITA stories about OPs being bio kids and the parents adopt foster kids and lavish familial love and support on them completely neglected the OP, and when OP brings up the unfairness they get dismissed with "you haven't suffered like they have", neglecting the fact that a) they're making the OP suffer that way now, and b) this may have gone on long enough to the point where the OP has suffered for far longer in their current house than the fosters did in their previous.
1st story, Dad and his step daughter deserve each other and what was said was very good. You have to throw it right back at them, they don't get anything else. 2nd story, I was on OP's side, till it went on. He wants his fun job all right, but he has earned it and paid for OP, and now it is her turn to do the same. OP is self centered.
2nd story: I couldn't judge without knowing at least ballpark amounts-- what her student debt was, what he was and is making now, what industry, etc. If he can't cover 25-35% of the bills going forward, it's gonna be a problem. Is there any future upside or is this just going to be super low pay forever? I would say that regardless of who's in what role.
@@user-wr3vt8uq4s I agree with you, it's just too little information to make a clear judgement on. Edit: She's 32 and he's 29 I'm going to assume student debt means she and he started working when they were ~23 (no idea tbh not from the US.) So that means he worked a job that he didn't like whilst still earning less than OP for maybe 6 years. And now switched to a job where he earns half of that. Now they're having to cut back and moving to a less expensive place would mean way longer commutes for the actual breadwinner and being further away from family. Just with this information it isn't feasible to do this for the next 30 years. Now the question should be if it truly isn't enough for her husband to work part time and his hobby job on top of that. People that want to work in a field that doesn't make a lot and needs a long time to actually start making money do not quit their jobs. Big YTs for example didn't throw their actual jobs/career to the side the moment they made 5 bucks. They kept at it until it could cover their expenses. I understand why OP is fed up. She went to college/Uni to get a good paying job and works hard to afford the lifestyle she wants. They have to find a way to make this work without necessarily giving up on his dream.
@@saladslug7432nah OP is still in the wrong. As she quite easily could have told her husband to NOT pay her student loans so she can be a big girl while he does what he wants (as again like she said they aren’t going homeless). When you put a major load on your significant other to do your thing then you can’t whine when it’s time to switch.
@@saladslug7432 Agree with the not enough info part. But the BF paid more money than OP for years, due to her student loans. He does not care about money or a nice place, she does. I do not believe she cannot get a cheaper place near where they are, she just does not want to leave her place. His job may pay more later, this may be starting pay. She does not like her job, either. If they breakup, she won't be able to afford the place they are in. She needs to think about her life and livelihood if they break up. She just sounds selfish to me, it was OK for him to pay more when she needed the money, but won't do it in return. But you are right, this would be bad long term if he does not make any more money. Not enough info, at all.
Story 1: I wonder if there is a family member that Dad absolutely despises. Uncle, cousin,Aunt, Grandparent, etc. If there is,OP should have that family member walk her down the aisle. If there's more than 1,then have the other one do the "Father/Daughter dance". Have the family member with the sharpest tongue give the "Fathers Speech". Then send Daddy Dearest a video collection of all of his "Fatherly Duties". There was another story. The parents always put the OP's sister 1st. OP always got the last minute call. "OP we can't make it, sister has a headache". On OP's wedding, sisters dog was sick. OP's Best Man turn the wedding into a video. High lighting activities that the parents would be part of. He inserted the voicemail that OP's Mom left saying that the dog was sick. He posted the video on all of OP's SM. Including family group SM. OP's parents got slaughtered by the family,friends,neighbors, coworkers,etc.
@@tallyp.7643 Yes, that video was brilliant. I'll watch that story any time it comes up. There's a few wedding stories that I really like. They involve Dad getting back at their kid. I do have a favorite of that type of story.
OP just tell your Dad he is now DEAD to you. Make a social media post that starts... Although it pains me I am announcing the loss of my Father. Go to explain the slights and the wedding day fiasco including that for the last time he has chosen your step sister. This is the last time because your Dad is Dead to You. Send this out in an email to both sides of the family. Then block him, his wife and step sis on everything. Anyone who comes at you on his behalf or step sis block them to and add them to the dead list.
The comment on story 1 was a great point, if OP pretended to move the date, what are the chances the sister would try the same shit again and book hers for the same day, allowing OP to resume the original plan and get married on the arranged day.
OP should "reschedule" her wedding to the month prior. That way, if ss changes her wedding date to be first, OP gets to keep her plans. If ss doesn't change her date, there will still be no problem because her dad burned that bridge. I hope OP finds the person her dad hates the most to walk her down the aisle. Or better yet, find the ss's dad and have him do it 😂❤
Make sure you have security at your wedding op so step sister doesn't crash your special day and ruins it for you and your husband .she'll want revenge just to be spiteful, please make sure you do have the security at hand.
Story #1: OP is definitely NTA. And if I were her I'd tell the father that I'd be going NC with him & stepsister permanently as I want nothing more to do with either of them. I'd also have a 'cease & desist ' letter sent to the father telling him so.
S1: she should have told her dad when he said he’d rather go to step daughter’s wedding, “you know, I’m sure you feel you need to be there for her because her own dad left, but my mom died and now you’ve abandoned me for her. I now have no one. Father of the year.” Edit to add, I hope OP asks her fiancés dad to walk her down the aisle. She can post about it and say, “so nice to be given away by the only father I’ve known. I’m so glad to be your add on daughter.” Or something like this with permission from fiancés parents
So the Stepmom is okay when she was screwing him and he was screwing over his family but now that he's trying to do the right thing she has a problem with it talk about gold digger
"I married this guy so he could pay for all my kids many, many extra activities. How dare his own kid expect his own dad to help pay for the things he needs!"
Hang on the comment how dare you make the decision to move it inside without asking anyone else, you mean like booking it for outside without asking someone else. You don't bring dogs to an event without everyone being ok with it and if they aren't they can choose to opt out if everyone else is ok with it.
He volunteered to make the reservation and no one said anything about preferences, so it was up to him. OP changed the location of the table without talking to the person who made the reservation. But, yes, they're *both* assholes. OP is an asshole for changing the reservation without consulting anyone and refusing to move outside when they initially made it sound like a minor preference. The reservation-maker is an asshole for bringing *three dogs* and apparently discussing the arrangements with another dog owner, but *no one else.*
It's ESH, both OP and the guy who brought his 3 dogs to group dinner are assholes. Both unilaterally make decisions for the group based on their own preferences & wants
@@OnewBiasedhold on, I got dogs and I don't bring them to events unless I give people a heads up. The only other reason you bring dogs somewhere is if they're Registered Service Animals or you're trying to get someone in the group to adopt or foster one. Bringing pets to where there's food or alcohol is terrible, and definitely no 'emotional support' animals. OP moved inside, seeing as the whole world is currently burning hot or as hot and humid as a towel coming out of a hot water wash, it makes sense to go inside.
So, the in-laws chose to sleep in the OP’s “dirty” bedroom, instead of the guest bedroom that was cleaned and prepared specifically for them? What kind of power move was that?!
Story 1: Did I miss hear that? OPs mother died, but step still had a living father, who was a deadbeat and OPs father prioritized the stepchild. WHAT???
S2: YTA. So she was fine with her husband working a dead-end job. He hates to pay off her debt, The problem when he finally gets a job that makes him happy. "I feel like I'm carrying him." Like the way he carried you and your debt for years. Not to mention this is a job he might not be able to go back to if he leaves.
"His stepdaughter did nothing wrong". He's right...the one who wronged OP was that failure of a father that kept prioritizing a kid that wasn't his over his own bloody child. Hope he like to live alone because one day he'll be abandoned and there won't be OP there to support him.
Story 1: Block them all and go NC. Story 2: if you both make enough to cover all expenses, then what is the issue? Story 3: NTA. The guy making the reservations should have told everyone whatvhe was planning and why, that way he could've been as accommodating as possible, but her didn't. That's his fault.
Story 1: NTA. The best get back is now publicly lambasting dad at the wedding so that everyone shames him and the stepdaughter. Then continue the petty by treating the father in law as the ONLY father worth acknowledging. Especially when op has a child. Story 2: sooooooo husband getting a job in the field he likes is great, BUT it pays FAR less than what was earning before and had no benefits??? And he’s working freelance? Story 3: ESH. So no one in the group knows how to communicate and plan with one another on location? Story 4: NTA. If the former mistress wants her kids to have their extracurricular activities, then she can get a job instead of sleeping with a married man Story 5: NTA. Op has a husband problem.
I was wondering the same thing. Is OP making assumptions or is she downplaying his future, long term earning potential in hopes she garners support from anyone reading/hearing her story?
@@TisOnlyAScratch It was stated that it was his hobby before, but what throws me from that is that it's difficult to enter the field formally as a career and if he leaves the job now he won't be able to get it back later even if another opening appears. Hobby made me think of something like non-intense sport or something craft or artistry, but being so exclusive doesn't fit. And then low pay on top of this super exclusivity is making me think it's something geeky instead. Like an official paid dungeons and dragons gamemaster. I just really don't know, so I want to know...
@@jp-fk5ke But that's not something that if he quits now to get into a better financial position would bar him for ever re-entering as more than a hobby unless it's signing on with a specific company or something.
@@ebayrose there's a lot of people who turned their hobbies into careers thanks to social media. One dude I follow was working his normal job on top of turning his hobby into a business until he didn't need his normal job anymore like after a couple years.
MIL and SIL need to not be allowed in their house by themselves ever again. Tell DH that if he ever allows this again he can join his family in their own home. This is a boundary he cannot cross again. Going forward when the in laws come over all bedroom and office doors get locked. They cannot be trusted. DH needs to understand that this is the consequences of him not protecting your marriage and not communicating with you - the one he made vows to not his parents.
I'm not sure why they wanted to sleep in OP's uncleaned room to begin with. Weird. Still, what was husband thinking? He knew OP worked to clean the house with a baby and that was the one room she didn't get to. He can say yes, I guess (though again why? weird), but HE should have cleaned their bedroom. He is the failure here and has no business being mad at OP. And his family is strange.
Parents like that are under the delusion that their bio kids will always love them no matter what and that they have to ‘earn’ a step kid’s love with presents and affection and don’t realize they’ve lost their first kid until it’s too late. Usually at that point they then feel it’s too let and double down on the step
I never understood that, too. His daughter lost her mom, and he neglected her for a stepdaughter. He is going to end up alone when the stepdaughter cuts him out when she gets married.
How does that make any freaking sense that the stepmother is saying that her kids is OP’s family but saying that the mother is not? Like show some respect to me since where your new family, yeah you mean the same respect you show to sleep with a married man? Also does the stepparent even have a job or is she just a stay at home mom? Well when OP has kids in the first story I guess it’s clear who the grandpa is not.
The OP doesn't say if they have extracurriculars or not, but my guess is that his mother's household has much less spare cash for those things......so go play that very small violin, my heart is not bleeding for the stepmom's kids. Or her. With one caveat....those people who say she should get a job seem to forget she has a baby.....and the cost of childcare (assuming OP's Dad isn't able to do it outside his working hours) is prohibitive. But OP isn't wrong and good on him for ensuring his Mom's household isn't poverty stricken like happens so often in these cases.
you know what would be funny? if the kids are actually relieved some things got dropped it sounded like they barely had time for homework with all those activities
Story 3. I just don’t understand the idea that people in the U.S have that dogs only belong at home and that bringing your dog with you to a restaurant or other places is weird. I’m from Europe and here it’s fairly normal to bring your dog with you a lot! All restaurants allow dogs on their outdoor terrace and some even let them inside. But I have the same feeling with children, here in Europe it’s normal to bring your children unless you get specifically told not to bring them. In Europe it more the culture that if people know you have dogs and children they will expect you to bring them unless they tell you not too. And the food with dog hair commons are wild! I don’t even get dog hair in my food at home, how would that even happen at a restaurant?
4. NTA. Steps ARE NOT family, you can consider them as such if you CHOOSE to, but having a whole new family shoved in your face after one parent cheats on another is not very conducive to complete acceptance of the situation, and OP has no obligation to do anything to help step-siblings who are not related. She doesn't even have to be close to her half-sibling, and probably won't be with the age difference. If step-mom is so concerned, she can get a part time job to make up the difference.
The dog story: OP is NTA. The person who brought *three dogs* to a *food establisbment*........... some food establishments will turn away ~service animals~ because news flash DOGS SHED AND THAT FUR FLOATS EVERYWHERE AND GETS INTO PEOPLES FOOD. And the friend group were NOT the only people in that Cafe. What about someone who's allergic? Those poor strangers didn't even get a choice but have to deal with not one, not two, but FOUR dogs in total. Fuck that shit. I'd be pissed and I'm not allergic and I love dogs.
@@glssprncss Why?How do you know what kind of cafe It was. You don't know anything about this story. They also Had outdoor seating and allowed dogs in there.
Humain hair also floats everywhere... However dogs are more nice and less ugly than human so I would prefer to see 4 dogs rather than 4 humains around me 😂 We I take my dog with me at restaurant I call it before hand to know if they allow it. Maybe the cafe was ok with it here too.
Story 1: NTA. 'She told me that she needed his attention and love more then I did'. Oh hell no. The fact that her actual daddy abandoned her, doesn't mean she gets to basically claim OP's dad. It also doesn't mean that daddy dearest should just go along with that crap and that power play.
If daddy doesn't put stepdaughter first, her mommy will stop having intimacy with him, it's one thing to treat them equally, but to prioritise the step kid just so you get a bunk up is just sad, he needs to do so much better!
I'm pleasantly surprised that no one seems to be ripping into the first OP for her roasting the family. Even though I probably wouldn't have been as savage and direct, I don't fault her. Dad chose stepdaughter for years and even abandoned her at a mall. He promised to do better but when push came to shove he fell back into old habits, showing exactly where his priorities still lay. As for the way that I would have handled it, I'm more a passive aggressive mind screw type. I'd have carried on the conversation a little bit more while pretending to be thinking it over, but I'd be on my phone blocking all of them. Then I'd pay for myself and only myself, and tell them that he'll be available that day and for every one of my milestones afterwards. Then I'd leave and ignore their reaction, because why would I care about some random strangers?
The first story I bet that OP'S evil stepmother and stepsister purposely made OP'S Dad "forget" OP in the mall in the other state so that way they can have OP'S Dad all to themselves and have their perfect family. OP you shouldn't postpone your wedding for that witch but please postpone your wedding, go to the witch's wedding wearing white, and invite the witch's father as your plus one. I highly doubt that her father just abandoned her because your stepmother and stepsister are horrible people so most likely he left and cut all contact to get away from their toxic and narcissistic ways. But please OP please cut all contact with your horrible father and his clearly perfered new family.
If the husband invited the guests he should help clean all the rooms for said people. Down to scrubbing the oven out. Having a small child and being told someone is staying at your home when you’re not there puts the stress on the owner. It’s not a hotel. They should also strip the bed and change the sheets and towels before they leave. She has a baby to take care of. And hubby is acting like it’s just a bit more work.
1. NTA. That is one spiteful B. Now I could understand if OP had been a horrible daughter, treating her dad like s**t, and driving him away, but for him to cleave to his stepdaughter (steps are NOT family), at the detriment to his bio-daughter, is just insane.
Story 1 - What did I just read? OP booked her wedding a year in advance. Her father already agreed to walk her down the aisle. And now he expects OP to MOVE her wedding because step sister decided to take her date? OP, your Dad is a horrible person. I'm sorry, there is no fixing that.
S1: Please block dad on all forms of communication.. He doesn't deserve another chance.. S3: I love dogs!! But I'd not bring them out to eat unless I checked with everyone.. I have a friend who always wants to sit outside even when it's 90degrees outside; it's always a issue because I'm not burning up while trying to enjoy a outting..
3rd Story. ESH OP was not your place to change the arrangement without consulting anyone else. More then one brought dogs. True they were rude as well, they were just as obligated to speak to everyone regarding the dogs before making the decision they did. COMUNICATION!!!
Story 1: NTA and screw your stepsis and your 'parents'. That being said, I got a feeling that stepsis learn this one-upping method from your own dad. Like, a make-up trip right on stepsis´s birthday?! He can´t choose any other day/weekend/holiday? I bet the two other times he put youself first were also at the cost of stepsis. Just like he definitely ignored lots of your special day or milestones to be with stepsis. Stepsis should knew better as an adult, but dad sound like he´s trying to pit the two girls against each other and purposedly worsen their relationship.
Anyone saying NTA to the restaurant story: it’s ESH. Don’t move a reservation without asking. If you had a preference then say it BEFORE booking, or volunteer to book it yourself.
Agreed. Plus, who doesn't prefer outside? Maybe it's because I'm too nice, but if the reservation wasn't made by me I wouldn't change it. What if people wanted to smoke (I don't, but I don't care if others do). OP is an ass.
Story 1: NTA. That was a beautiful and well deserved take down. Stop entertaining this idiot as he's made it clear he no longer views you as his child. Story 2: NTA. Finances and how they'll be impacted should be discussed before ANY career change. While it's understandable that he's upset over something he's worked hard for, he's putting an unfair burden onto OP. While, yes, he had paid more towards mutual bills so she could use her income to pay off her debt, that was went he was working a job with significantly more pay PLUS benefits. He now not only lacks the income but also that safety net as he's gone freelance. If this was something he did on the side as a hobby, then he should have kept it that way until he had more of a base to have a higher pay rate. Since he's now working from home has he picked up on doing more of the housework? Either way there's going to be resentment on either side, so best start prepping for that divorce. Story 3: NTA. He failed to inform people the reservation wasn't only outdoors but outdoors because him and another member of their party were bringing their dogs to the restaurant. Did he once stop and have the thought that people would not want to be eating around another person's dogs? Outdoor dining has to be planned and agreed upon. The guy didn't make the reservation taking into consideration the weather, people's allergies, etc. No, he did it just so he could bring his dogs. OP moved the party inside to a more comfortable setting for the group overall. Story 4: NTA. OP found a way to ensure his mom got was owed to her since the courts wouldn't grant it at the cost was putting up with his dad and the affair partner. It was the dad, not OP, who was begging to keep the relationship and he capitulated to OPs demand knowing the alternative was OP telling him to screw off. Oh dear, the affair partner's kids can't take a few extra curriculars? Those are LUXURIES not needs. Sounds like she's doing nothing for the family finances so if she wants her kids to have all this, then she can get a job to pay for it. She's giving gold digger alerts. Story 5: NTA. They had a CLEAN GUEST ROOM made up for them but CHOSE to sleep in OP's bed because hubby said it was ok? Yeah, no. OP you need to take a hard look at this relationship and ask yourself if this spineless mama's boy is worth it. Honestly, I'm curious as to why OP and hubby didn't stay at home and offered the hotel room to them instead, if the wedding was close enough that staying at OP's house was feasible for the in-laws.
Story 3, depending on where you live, outside is not people friendly this time of year. It was over 120 today, and it will still be around 100 outside at 2 AM. I am not willing to sit in a puddle of my own sweat and risking heat stroke just so that someone can bring their dogs to a restaurant. Yes, I'm aware that where I live is Satan's Summer Camp.
Story 2 yta…. He helped pay off the student loans…. Helped pay to stay in an area SHE wants to stay at near HER family… wtf does he get out of this relationship besides problems?
She at a job she hates as well. And she paid off her own student loans. A person doesn’t quit a job to do freelance for over half of what you was making.
So if you listen to the whole thing he only paid slightly more while she was paying off her loan. Not that he payed all the bills for the time she paid off her loans. Sounds like there is no chances of making more money than he is now in that career and she's paying the majority of the bills and expenses. So how long is she expected to be the bread winner before he steps up and pulls his weight financially.
@@kristelneedtoknow3207Right because she REALLY didn't downplay his contribution. Nobody is buying it. Plus he suggested moving away bit she said no. I want to be near family. I don't want the commute and getting another job isn't an option for her either. Selfish in every way
dogs and eating out. I like sitting outside. But don't like to eat with dogs all over. I don't take my dogs out on outings with other people. I want to be with the people, not the dogs.
S1 NTA!! OP should reply to the AH dad before blocking him "You've made your choice so you can screw off as all this is now is pointless noise as I want nothing to do with any of you"!! Have the wedding on the day that you planned and move forward into a family that you chose and will value and put you first. Also if OP did move her wedding I'd bet money she'd announce her pregnancy regardless of whether or not it was true just to upstage and steal the spotlight from OP.
First story : Absolutely NTA OP. Your father is an emotional deadbeat to you and is so busy falling over himself to please his wife by accommodating her daughter that he has forgotten his own daughter. He does not deserve you. You could be petty and locate your stepsister's father and ask him to walk you down the aisle but, as it is, a close male relative of yours or your fiances would be glad to do the job. Then you can adopt this relative as your dad and ignore your own father. I am so sorry. Huge hug.
In the last story, I do think MIL and SIL did that knowingly to annoy her, I believe that’s the case genuinely. I also genuinely believe that if you invite your sister over, and hubby allowed that, and she slept in your bed, presumably hubby’s also, and he didn’t complain? You don’t really have a leg to stand on now. Should her hubby have spoken to her first? Yes, but, how do you think that conversation goes? “Are you sure they have to stay at our house?” He might end up paying 1500$ for a last minute hotel room to make his wife feel better, because OP sounds like she will not drop this. Even with the fact that her own sister had already done all this first, still went on Reddit like, “I’m angry at him!” I would wager anything she would’ve offered him the classic wife compromise, “this is an offer that basically lets you subsidize my emotions with your money, basically pay a bunch of money so your family can stay elsewhere, or deal with me being angry.”
S2: "He covered a larger percentage of the expenses due to me _having student loans to pay off while he didn't_ " Then he gets a job in his dream field and she's demanding he quit this _because it's not fair because she feels she's carrying him_ ... And it'd kill his career if he quit now. This person is a _ducking asshole_
story 1 your father is a massive jerk for picking his stepdaughter instead of his real daughter and ignoring you when she books the wedding venue you call up and cancel everything she books the day before her wedding and to rub it even more send bozo the clown to her house the day of her cancelled wedding 😠😠🤬🤬🤡
Story 1: If you can forget a kid even exists, I dunno who is trusting you to take two of them out of state... and if it takes you a couple of years to realize you're being iced out, I no longer envy someone else having your attention, I pity them instead.
Last story, did wife ask the husband before letting her sister sleep in the bad? Didn't sound like it, idiots spouting separation or therapy sound asinine, just set a boundary that this is not to happen again and if it does then it warrants further remedies.
Story #4 Tell "Step-mom" that if Money is an issue, she can always go back to her "Old Profession". I'm sure she can find a vacant street corner somewhere.
1-NTA Go full NC on dad and live a happy life. 2-Ugh. 3-NTA Friend should have told you that he was bringing his dogs. 4-NTA Glad you got your dad to help your mom. 5-NTA Husband is a dick.
I'm an avid dog lover but if one of my friends brought four dogs to the restaurant without telling me I'd have gotten up and left the restaurant without saying a word
He has to quit his dream job because SHE has college debt? They can't move to a cheaper area because it'll be a commute for HER and it'll be further from HER family.....Me, me, I and myself. He should take the job and give up OP.
Outside reservation story: First of all, I want to put out there that I love dogs as to show I'm not just hating on them. This man had to be aware of how hot its been lately as well. I am just imagining sitting outside with sweat tricking down my back and chest. My drink becoming watered down from the melting ice. Then four dogs staring at you while you try to enjoy your also hot meal. Then one of them scratches themselves, sending hair into the air that descends upon your food and sticks to your body. One of them might put their head in your lap to be friendly but you already feel gross so you're just uncomfortable. Not a fun time. They should've did a house get together with air conditioning and non-sticky dog cuddles.
On story 2: NTA. How many people giving the YTA verdict missed the part where the two have separated finances because of the debt? And it was never stated that the husband paid a majority percentage, just that he now pays a smaller one because of the pay cut.....if this was a guy talking about his wife, everyone would be suggesting divorce.
Nah. I heard a similar story. The man (OP) was complaining that he married a woman from a rich family. Described her as a Spoiled Princess because she worked as an interior designer when she could stay at home without working. He bragged that he could support both of them since he's a surgeon and his job contributes more to society than her job. Everyone in the YT Comment Section I saw was calling him a narcissistic jerk in the original story. There were a lot of updates where the wife got involved and announced her divorce to him on Reddit. He was cheating on her, complaining their kids liked Grandpa more than him (he ignored his own children), and wanted Grandpa to Move out of state. His account is deleted now.
In My Bed: As someone who routinely sweats in my bed, I can't imagine that even people I was directly related to would want to sleep in it, so going behind my back to do so, I can't even fathom that. The only thing that makes sense to me, with another bed available and ready for them, is that they, for some unknown reason, WANTED to sleep a recently used, unclean bed. And the only reason I can come up with is rather disturbing, but would also suggest that they like OP entirely too much, which seems doubtful.
Story 1 I would not even bat an eyelid, ask the dad to pay for the wedding, but tell him that the father-in-law would walk me down the aisle if my dad preferred to go to the stepsisters wedding. We've become very close as a family anyway and grown apart since dad found his new family.
Dad's Money: She doesn't need to get a job, but if her kids have all this energy that they need to do so many paid activities, maybe she can put them to work having a garage sale to sell off all the equipment for the activities they can no longer afford to pursue. And if she wants to be mad, maybe she should cheat with someone who has better finances next time. Or, you know, not cheat at all, then she wouldn't have a broke husband or kids she can't afford.
That first story is so sad. The stepdaughter and dad deserve each other. What disgusting people. She is better off without her dad and step sister. Gross.
S3 - I was caught off guard but the remark, "He worked hard to get the job he wanted." and it pays only half what his old job did. What in the world kind of job anyone would want that pays only half? Raising puppies, maybe?
That struck me as strange as well. Was the lower income a surprise to everyone or just OP? Why did they buy where they did if husband knew his dream job was going to result in a pay cut? This couple is not communicating at all.
What kind of father would prioritize the step daughter over you. Cut ties with him completely. And when he is old and needs someone to take care of him, let him run to the step daughter.
Who goes to restaurants with their dogs? Especially a whole passel of them... It was rude enough for them not to inform people that they were expected to eat outside.
1st story: So, Dad admits that the family situation isn't stepsis's fault, which is technically true, and yet he still refuses to take any real responsibility for the mess that is his fault? Not even trying a real compromise? NTA.
3. NTA. I just don't understand the mentality of people who take their dogs, cats, whatever, everywhere they go. These are people who don't want kids because they're too expensive, or whatever other reason, but will spend thousands on their dogs for health problems, and those dogs life spans are very limited. My son-in-law is one of those types. We went on a three day trip with them once, and he brought both of their hounds, without telling us. We had separate rooms, but they were right next door, and I got very little sleep because of the howling all night long. I told my wife she could go on trips with them (it's her daughter) if she wanted, but I wouldn't be going anywhere with them if they brought the dogs, she agreed, no more trips with dogs. I don't dislike dogs, but I do not consider them family, they're pets, and I do just fine without them.
1. NTA. The step sister and Dad nith did something wrong and deserved to be told off. I too hope step sisters dad "reforms" and comes back and your dad is left in the cold.
Story I- NTA- How the fu*k did CPS not get involved after he forgot her at the mall in another state?
Right?!?!? What on Earth?!?!?
Services would jump backwards and do crazy things just to keep bio families together.
Sadly, more often than not, at the expense of the child suffering in the process.
That’s why it’s so hard to get away from the abuse when you are a child: even if you speak up “statistics” (families that stayed together) are more important than an individual
@@TheBreaker996 Touché. This is sadly the problem with CPS the parents’ feelings matter more than the well being of the child
Why were grandparents, on either side, not collectively losing their minds? Aunts or uncles?
@@mldiluna969 There might not be any, the parents might've both been only children and their parents, OP'S grandparents, have passed on.
And if they DO exist, they might be estranged or just simply not care.
Story 1: OP, "Dad, I'm used to being left behind by you since you put stepdaughter ahead of me nearly all the time."
Dad: "OP, I will stop that. I promise."
French narrator: *A Few Moments Later*
Dad: "Hey OP, can you move your wedding date so I can give away stepdaughter first?"
😒 OP is NTA.
And the fact they tried to sabotage OP while she was at work. Part of me feels like stepsister is only getting married to test OPs dad and for OP to not get what she wants yet again. They FAFO
Don't you mean her donor in fact OP should call him by his name or sperm donor to get the point across.
@@rogueshark23 Yeah I figured.
@@rogueshark23 I’m a horrible person but I think OP should walk down the aisle carrying a photo of her mother so she can have a real parent with her that day.
Or if she’s cool with FIL, he walk her and she posts the pics for donor to see
I was expecting at least one of the comments on vid to say "I say ESH because you were so cruel in your comments" but to my joy there were none
The stepsister was trying to prove that the father loves her more than the bio daughter. She proved it right. OP don't be a second used daughter anymore. Disown the useless father forever!
OP was not harsh. OP lost her 2 parents the moment dad married the stepmonster
I don't get dad prioritizing the stepdaughter because "she doesn't have a father". That makes zero sense. She has a living mother & because the dad is acting this way now OP has zero parents & the stepwitch has 2 parents. It's unfair from any prospective that isn't stupid.
No kidding. How about the dad realize that his biological daughter who he helped make should be his priority. There's no indication he adopted the stepdaughter either. And besides, OP reserved that date first, so why should she move it?
It's all the 'stepmom' and dad being a complete useless moron.
He just wants to please his new wife to continue to get the horizontal dance
Dad chooses the stepdaughter because he is married to her mom and doesn’t want drama in his marriage. Simple as that. It’s not about loving the stepdaughter more, he’s just a coward who doesn’t have a backbone.
@@sandyberger-r9j Maybe so but it's still stupid.
Story 1 OPs reply was just chefs kiss
I know right. That must have been satisfying for OP
Wonder how the stepsisters marriage worked out? Does she need to wait for op to get a divorce so that she can pick the same date?
I had to go back 5 times in order to listen to OP give it to dad & his little princess! It was that good😂!!! Gosh I wish I was that great on my come backs❤!!! Hope OP never let's dad dupe her again😊!!!
@@trixmania better yet, when is OP announcing her pregnancy? Because sis will miraculously be pregnant and when OP's baby is Born announced that she lost the baby
@@memeking7273 perhaps expect her to change the due date...
Story 1. Your Dad is abusive. Block him tell him he is dead to you.Forget him, he is not worth it. He should have been in jail when he left a child alone in a mall in another state.
Story 1: Dad is going to sorely regret his decision in a decade when he sees pictures of his grandchildren on social media and finally understands what he lost that day when he reaches out to his daughter and she informs him that he will NEVER see them or her EVER AGAIN!!!
Or until the Step Deadbeat Bio Abandon Father reappears
i was thinking along these lines. He's willing to miss out on a relationship with any potential grandchildren to appease his "step" daughter? Also, I'm sure that OP's mother's side of the family and his family do not favor the stepdaughter over their biological niece/granddaughter/cousin etc. OP's father is a loser, best for her to use this occasion to cut contact altogether and live her best life.
He ll really regret things when he lies in urine or feces soaked sheets at Shady Pines and no one to care.
"Your stepsister did nothing wrong..."
Except blatantly lie about that one day being the only day available for her wedding. OP needs to just forget about these people, none of them are of any value to her anymore anyway.
S1: OP is savage! I love that clap back by OP.
I would like an update on this one.
I would have told him he is dead to me and blocked him.
I was hoping for updates on this story to but it says it was only posted 14 hrs ago on reddit. so any updates are still in development
OP was petty and vindictive in her response but every person has a limit on the crap and screwing over they will take before striking back. Dad is so use to OP just rolling over and taking the hits that he honestly thought she do so again for her own wedding that's been booked for over a year. Can't wait for the updates. As for stepsister being left in tears that's a price she's paying for her treachery.
@@MrJpaynebb you're right about people having limits before they just don't give a **** and let loose, blunt, and brutal. Op had the patience of a saint to put up with all of that and snapped after 10 years. I think that I have the patience of a saint too, putting up with my mother's narcissistic tendencies and neglect for around twenty years. With all that she put me through and even put me back in a dangerous situation because she wanted to stay on the night shift, nevermind the psychological trauma and potential physical trauma from an old, creepy peeper that had authority over me that also molested me, disguised as wrestling accidents while he wrestled me and his son who was my friend. Unfortunately, I didn't get the chance that Op did of telling her that she's dead to me and to eff off.
@@marymasavage8986as someone that's from 2 fighting families, I never understood siblings or family members NOT getting physical. I remember growing up, saying hi to visiting family, and then jumping into first fights with my cousins because someone called someone a crybaby or because someone is eating with their mouth open. A sibling like the StepSis definitely would've been on her 2 set of dentures and had multiple holes in her walls from her getting tackled and at least 4 yearly suplexes
"Your MOTHER and SISTER slept in the bed we conceived our CHILD in! Hell, no!!"
That whole family is messed up including OPs spouse. He’s spineless and the in-laws are just all around horrible
@@lorilancaster5917Yeah, I don’t understand why the husband was OK with his mother and sister sleeping on the sheets where he screwed his wife (understand even _less_ why the mother and sister were OK with it). Like, it’d be a different story if OP had had a chance to clean the room and put fresh sheets on the bed, but she’d already cleaned the guest room for them-why was that not good enough for them but dirty sheets were fine?
@@JosieJOK, Sounds so gross huh. Like they have some nasty fetish or something
Story 1: "I don't know how your dad keeps falling for stepsis' power play over and over". I do. It's called the Dad is a covert Narcissist/Enabler who sold his soul to a "Demon in the Sack". God only knows exactly what it is about the stepmom since neither she nor her actions/complicity are described at all, but it sounds like stepsis is an entitled Golden Child who never grew out of Golden Child Syndrome and may have morphed into a legit full-blown Cluster of Bees (ONLY refers to abusive instances of Cluster B) herself.
That, and he gets a warm fuzzy feeling from his altruism of being a real father to his stepdaughter who never had one, that completely glosses over the fact that he already has a daughter and that he isn't being a father figure to her. Similar case to AITA stories about OPs being bio kids and the parents adopt foster kids and lavish familial love and support on them completely neglected the OP, and when OP brings up the unfairness they get dismissed with "you haven't suffered like they have", neglecting the fact that a) they're making the OP suffer that way now, and b) this may have gone on long enough to the point where the OP has suffered for far longer in their current house than the fosters did in their previous.
1st story, Dad and his step daughter deserve each other and what was said was very good. You have to throw it right back at them, they don't get anything else.
2nd story, I was on OP's side, till it went on. He wants his fun job all right, but he has earned it and paid for OP, and now it is her turn to do the same. OP is self centered.
What would have been a cherry on top, would be: and my husbands dad is a way better man than u, u would never reach that level, so never call me again
2nd story: I couldn't judge without knowing at least ballpark amounts-- what her student debt was, what he was and is making now, what industry, etc. If he can't cover 25-35% of the bills going forward, it's gonna be a problem. Is there any future upside or is this just going to be super low pay forever? I would say that regardless of who's in what role.
@@user-wr3vt8uq4s I agree with you, it's just too little information to make a clear judgement on.
Edit: She's 32 and he's 29 I'm going to assume student debt means she and he started working when they were ~23 (no idea tbh not from the US.) So that means he worked a job that he didn't like whilst still earning less than OP for maybe 6 years. And now switched to a job where he earns half of that. Now they're having to cut back and moving to a less expensive place would mean way longer commutes for the actual breadwinner and being further away from family. Just with this information it isn't feasible to do this for the next 30 years.
Now the question should be if it truly isn't enough for her husband to work part time and his hobby job on top of that. People that want to work in a field that doesn't make a lot and needs a long time to actually start making money do not quit their jobs. Big YTs for example didn't throw their actual jobs/career to the side the moment they made 5 bucks. They kept at it until it could cover their expenses. I understand why OP is fed up. She went to college/Uni to get a good paying job and works hard to afford the lifestyle she wants. They have to find a way to make this work without necessarily giving up on his dream.
@@saladslug7432nah OP is still in the wrong. As she quite easily could have told her husband to NOT pay her student loans so she can be a big girl while he does what he wants (as again like she said they aren’t going homeless). When you put a major load on your significant other to do your thing then you can’t whine when it’s time to switch.
@@saladslug7432 Agree with the not enough info part. But the BF paid more money than OP for years, due to her student loans. He does not care about money or a nice place, she does. I do not believe she cannot get a cheaper place near where they are, she just does not want to leave her place. His job may pay more later, this may be starting pay. She does not like her job, either. If they breakup, she won't be able to afford the place they are in. She needs to think about her life and livelihood if they break up. She just sounds selfish to me, it was OK for him to pay more when she needed the money, but won't do it in return. But you are right, this would be bad long term if he does not make any more money. Not enough info, at all.
Story 1: I wonder if there is a family member that Dad absolutely despises. Uncle, cousin,Aunt, Grandparent, etc. If there is,OP should have that family member walk her down the aisle. If there's more than 1,then have the other one do the "Father/Daughter dance". Have the family member with the sharpest tongue give the "Fathers Speech". Then send Daddy Dearest a video collection of all of his "Fatherly Duties".
There was another story. The parents always put the OP's sister 1st. OP always got the last minute call. "OP we can't make it, sister has a headache". On OP's wedding, sisters dog was sick. OP's Best Man turn the wedding into a video. High lighting activities that the parents would be part of. He inserted the voicemail that OP's Mom left saying that the dog was sick. He posted the video on all of OP's SM. Including family group SM. OP's parents got slaughtered by the family,friends,neighbors, coworkers,etc.
Oh yeah, that other story made me cackle with glee. That friend was a genius, and the family looked so foolish.
@@tallyp.7643 Yes, that video was brilliant. I'll watch that story any time it comes up. There's a few wedding stories that I really like. They involve Dad getting back at their kid. I do have a favorite of that type of story.
OP just tell your Dad he is now DEAD to you. Make a social media post that starts...
Although it pains me I am announcing the loss of my Father. Go to explain the slights and the wedding day fiasco including that for the last time he has chosen your step sister. This is the last time because your Dad is Dead to You. Send this out in an email to both sides of the family. Then block him, his wife and step sis on everything. Anyone who comes at you on his behalf or step sis block them to and add them to the dead list.
The comment on story 1 was a great point, if OP pretended to move the date, what are the chances the sister would try the same shit again and book hers for the same day, allowing OP to resume the original plan and get married on the arranged day.
OP should "reschedule" her wedding to the month prior. That way, if ss changes her wedding date to be first, OP gets to keep her plans. If ss doesn't change her date, there will still be no problem because her dad burned that bridge. I hope OP finds the person her dad hates the most to walk her down the aisle. Or better yet, find the ss's dad and have him do it 😂❤
Nope. OP should keep the date she chose.
No need to change anything to spite her over-entitled step-idiot, much less accomodate her.
Agree Op doesn’t even need to change just tell them she did because they will change their plans to ruin hers
Make sure you have security at your wedding op so step sister doesn't crash your special day and ruins it for you and your husband .she'll want revenge just to be spiteful, please make sure you do have the security at hand.
The second story, in matters of finances, both people need to be in full agreement.
Story #1: OP is definitely NTA. And if I were her I'd tell the father that I'd be going NC with him & stepsister permanently as I want nothing more to do with either of them. I'd also have a 'cease & desist ' letter sent to the father telling him so.
S1: she should have told her dad when he said he’d rather go to step daughter’s wedding, “you know, I’m sure you feel you need to be there for her because her own dad left, but my mom died and now you’ve abandoned me for her. I now have no one. Father of the year.”
Edit to add, I hope OP asks her fiancés dad to walk her down the aisle. She can post about it and say, “so nice to be given away by the only father I’ve known. I’m so glad to be your add on daughter.” Or something like this with permission from fiancés parents
Story2: wait, where are all comments here that always scream how Reddit is always against men?
You can’t be this stupid, Reddit takes the woman’s side the majority of the time
lol I love it when they’re proved wrong 😂
Because shes seeing things from a mans point of view now 😂
Mistress tells OP that her family is financially struggling and expects OP to care????? The audacity is stunning!😂😂😂 NTA
3 of her kids and only one half sibling and she feels entitled to all his money. She wants his money for her kids. Crazy
So the Stepmom is okay when she was screwing him and he was screwing over his family but now that he's trying to do the right thing she has a problem with it talk about gold digger
"I married this guy so he could pay for all my kids many, many extra activities. How dare his own kid expect his own dad to help pay for the things he needs!"
Why isn't Stepmom's ex(es?) paying for his(their?) Extra curricular s?
Hang on the comment how dare you make the decision to move it inside without asking anyone else, you mean like booking it for outside without asking someone else. You don't bring dogs to an event without everyone being ok with it and if they aren't they can choose to opt out if everyone else is ok with it.
He volunteered to make the reservation and no one said anything about preferences, so it was up to him. OP changed the location of the table without talking to the person who made the reservation.
But, yes, they're *both* assholes. OP is an asshole for changing the reservation without consulting anyone and refusing to move outside when they initially made it sound like a minor preference. The reservation-maker is an asshole for bringing *three dogs* and apparently discussing the arrangements with another dog owner, but *no one else.*
If people had a preference they’d say they’d want it inside? If not it’s up to the booker’s discretion.
It’s ESH
@BexsBoxofConfusion why are they even bringing their dogs there though. No way I'd be going somewhere that's got dogs around and sweating outside.
It's ESH, both OP and the guy who brought his 3 dogs to group dinner are assholes. Both unilaterally make decisions for the group based on their own preferences & wants
@@OnewBiasedhold on, I got dogs and I don't bring them to events unless I give people a heads up. The only other reason you bring dogs somewhere is if they're Registered Service Animals or you're trying to get someone in the group to adopt or foster one. Bringing pets to where there's food or alcohol is terrible, and definitely no 'emotional support' animals.
OP moved inside, seeing as the whole world is currently burning hot or as hot and humid as a towel coming out of a hot water wash, it makes sense to go inside.
St 1: you know ur not in the wrong. Jsut block them .
At this point, the best thing OP can do is live her best life away from them.
Yeah, OP should pretend they died since that's what happened all those years ago.
The parent she knew died and now this stranger is harassing her
Be real petty and find the bio dad of step and let him either walk OP down the aisle or lie to him that step would love having him walk her
Yeah show what actual spite is
Now finding the stepbrat real father would be funny 😄!
So, the in-laws chose to sleep in the OP’s “dirty” bedroom, instead of the guest bedroom that was cleaned and prepared specifically for them? What kind of power move was that?!
A very peculiar one.
Story 1: Did I miss hear that? OPs mother died, but step still had a living father, who was a deadbeat and OPs father prioritized the stepchild. WHAT???
Yup, it happens all the time. I guess he wants to be in good grace with the wife.
The wife and stepdaughter sucks too.
S2: YTA. So she was fine with her husband working a dead-end job. He hates to pay off her debt, The problem when he finally gets a job that makes him happy. "I feel like I'm carrying him." Like the way he carried you and your debt for years. Not to mention this is a job he might not be able to go back to if he leaves.
"His stepdaughter did nothing wrong".
He's right...the one who wronged OP was that failure of a father that kept prioritizing a kid that wasn't his over his own bloody child.
Hope he like to live alone because one day he'll be abandoned and there won't be OP there to support him.
Story 1: Block them all and go NC.
Story 2: if you both make enough to cover all expenses, then what is the issue?
Story 3: NTA. The guy making the reservations should have told everyone whatvhe was planning and why, that way he could've been as accommodating as possible, but her didn't. That's his fault.
Story 1: NTA. The best get back is now publicly lambasting dad at the wedding so that everyone shames him and the stepdaughter. Then continue the petty by treating the father in law as the ONLY father worth acknowledging. Especially when op has a child.
Story 2: sooooooo husband getting a job in the field he likes is great, BUT it pays FAR less than what was earning before and had no benefits??? And he’s working freelance?
Story 3: ESH. So no one in the group knows how to communicate and plan with one another on location?
Story 4: NTA. If the former mistress wants her kids to have their extracurricular activities, then she can get a job instead of sleeping with a married man
Story 5: NTA. Op has a husband problem.
2. He also had to help pay off OP's loans.
3. Nah, OP isn't an AH. the guy that made the plans should have told people.
The best get back is NOT mentioning him at all, especially in any of the speeches.
Story 2: What is this great career, that's so hard to get into, but pays pennies?
I was wondering the same thing. Is OP making assumptions or is she downplaying his future, long term earning potential in hopes she garners support from anyone reading/hearing her story?
@@TisOnlyAScratch It was stated that it was his hobby before, but what throws me from that is that it's difficult to enter the field formally as a career and if he leaves the job now he won't be able to get it back later even if another opening appears. Hobby made me think of something like non-intense sport or something craft or artistry, but being so exclusive doesn't fit. And then low pay on top of this super exclusivity is making me think it's something geeky instead. Like an official paid dungeons and dragons gamemaster. I just really don't know, so I want to know...
@@ebayroseI assumed he was making some money twitch streaming
@@jp-fk5ke But that's not something that if he quits now to get into a better financial position would bar him for ever re-entering as more than a hobby unless it's signing on with a specific company or something.
@@ebayrose there's a lot of people who turned their hobbies into careers thanks to social media. One dude I follow was working his normal job on top of turning his hobby into a business until he didn't need his normal job anymore like after a couple years.
MIL and SIL need to not be allowed in their house by themselves ever again. Tell DH that if he ever allows this again he can join his family in their own home. This is a boundary he cannot cross again. Going forward when the in laws come over all bedroom and office doors get locked. They cannot be trusted. DH needs to understand that this is the consequences of him not protecting your marriage and not communicating with you - the one he made vows to not his parents.
I'm not sure why they wanted to sleep in OP's uncleaned room to begin with. Weird. Still, what was husband thinking? He knew OP worked to clean the house with a baby and that was the one room she didn't get to. He can say yes, I guess (though again why? weird), but HE should have cleaned their bedroom. He is the failure here and has no business being mad at OP. And his family is strange.
I continue to be baffled by the parents who favor the stepkids over their children and seem to forget they ever had kids.
Parents like that are under the delusion that their bio kids will always love them no matter what and that they have to ‘earn’ a step kid’s love with presents and affection and don’t realize they’ve lost their first kid until it’s too late. Usually at that point they then feel it’s too let and double down on the step
I never understood that, too. His daughter lost her mom, and he neglected her for a stepdaughter. He is going to end up alone when the stepdaughter cuts him out when she gets married.
How does that make any freaking sense that the stepmother is saying that her kids is OP’s family but saying that the mother is not? Like show some respect to me since where your new family, yeah you mean the same respect you show to sleep with a married man? Also does the stepparent even have a job or is she just a stay at home mom?
Well when OP has kids in the first story I guess it’s clear who the grandpa is not.
And if funds are tight why isn’t she hitting up the father of her kids?
@@lorilancaster5917 or just sleep with another man lol
The OP doesn't say if they have extracurriculars or not, but my guess is that his mother's household has much less spare cash for those things......so go play that very small violin, my heart is not bleeding for the stepmom's kids. Or her. With one caveat....those people who say she should get a job seem to forget she has a baby.....and the cost of childcare (assuming OP's Dad isn't able to do it outside his working hours) is prohibitive. But OP isn't wrong and good on him for ensuring his Mom's household isn't poverty stricken like happens so often in these cases.
Story 1: Stepsister have 2 parents OP have none
I feel bad for OP. She didn't do anything to deserve that.
Yeah, bet the step mom was in on it too. Dad picked someone's mistake over his REAL DAUGHTER
OP4: My dad didn't want me to think badly of him" because he's a selfish coward who refuses to face the consequences of going full whrre.
you know what would be funny? if the kids are actually relieved some things got dropped it sounded like they barely had time for homework with all those activities
Story 3. I just don’t understand the idea that people in the U.S have that dogs only belong at home and that bringing your dog with you to a restaurant or other places is weird.
I’m from Europe and here it’s fairly normal to bring your dog with you a lot! All restaurants allow dogs on their outdoor terrace and some even let them inside. But I have the same feeling with children, here in Europe it’s normal to bring your children unless you get specifically told not to bring them. In Europe it more the culture that if people know you have dogs and children they will expect you to bring them unless they tell you not too.
And the food with dog hair commons are wild! I don’t even get dog hair in my food at home, how would that even happen at a restaurant?
It's pretty normal here too.Especially outsid. the op and some commenters are just fucking weird
Story one, OP is good i would love to see further updates from this particular story.
4. NTA.
Steps ARE NOT family, you can consider them as such if you CHOOSE to, but having a whole new family shoved in your face after one parent cheats on another is not very conducive to complete acceptance of the situation, and OP has no obligation to do anything to help step-siblings who are not related.
She doesn't even have to be close to her half-sibling, and probably won't be with the age difference.
If step-mom is so concerned, she can get a part time job to make up the difference.
The dog story:
OP is NTA. The person who brought *three dogs* to a *food establisbment*........... some food establishments will turn away ~service animals~ because news flash DOGS SHED AND THAT FUR FLOATS EVERYWHERE AND GETS INTO PEOPLES FOOD.
And the friend group were NOT the only people in that Cafe. What about someone who's allergic? Those poor strangers didn't even get a choice but have to deal with not one, not two, but FOUR dogs in total.
Fuck that shit. I'd be pissed and I'm not allergic and I love dogs.
The food establishment CLEARLY ALLOWED DOGS DOOFUS
@@veezopolis doesn't make it okay with everyone else in the cafe, obviously 🙄
@@glssprncss Why?How do you know what kind of cafe It was. You don't know anything about this story. They also Had outdoor seating and allowed dogs in there.
Humain hair also floats everywhere... However dogs are more nice and less ugly than human so I would prefer to see 4 dogs rather than 4 humains around me 😂
We I take my dog with me at restaurant I call it before hand to know if they allow it. Maybe the cafe was ok with it here too.
Story 1: NTA. 'She told me that she needed his attention and love more then I did'. Oh hell no.
The fact that her actual daddy abandoned her, doesn't mean she gets to basically claim OP's dad. It also doesn't mean that daddy dearest should just go along with that crap and that power play.
If daddy doesn't put stepdaughter first, her mommy will stop having intimacy with him, it's one thing to treat them equally, but to prioritise the step kid just so you get a bunk up is just sad, he needs to do so much better!
Exactly. He doesn't want to lose his piece of poon tang.
“Enjoy the fallout!”
Leaves.
Let dad get ripped apart by family. Watch as he begs stepshit to change her date instead.
2:06 lmaoooo the way i gasped 😭 op ATEEEE
I'm pleasantly surprised that no one seems to be ripping into the first OP for her roasting the family. Even though I probably wouldn't have been as savage and direct, I don't fault her. Dad chose stepdaughter for years and even abandoned her at a mall. He promised to do better but when push came to shove he fell back into old habits, showing exactly where his priorities still lay.
As for the way that I would have handled it, I'm more a passive aggressive mind screw type. I'd have carried on the conversation a little bit more while pretending to be thinking it over, but I'd be on my phone blocking all of them. Then I'd pay for myself and only myself, and tell them that he'll be available that day and for every one of my milestones afterwards. Then I'd leave and ignore their reaction, because why would I care about some random strangers?
The first story
I bet that OP'S evil stepmother and stepsister purposely made OP'S Dad "forget" OP in the mall in the other state so that way they can have OP'S Dad all to themselves and have their perfect family. OP you shouldn't postpone your wedding for that witch but please postpone your wedding, go to the witch's wedding wearing white, and invite the witch's father as your plus one. I highly doubt that her father just abandoned her because your stepmother and stepsister are horrible people so most likely he left and cut all contact to get away from their toxic and narcissistic ways. But please OP please cut all contact with your horrible father and his clearly perfered new family.
If the husband invited the guests he should help clean all the rooms for said people. Down to scrubbing the oven out. Having a small child and being told someone is staying at your home when you’re not there puts the stress on the owner. It’s not a hotel. They should also strip the bed and change the sheets and towels before they leave. She has a baby to take care of. And hubby is acting like it’s just a bit more work.
1. NTA.
That is one spiteful B.
Now I could understand if OP had been a horrible daughter, treating her dad like s**t, and driving him away, but for him to cleave to his stepdaughter (steps are NOT family), at the detriment to his bio-daughter, is just insane.
Story 1 - What did I just read? OP booked her wedding a year in advance. Her father already agreed to walk her down the aisle. And now he expects OP to MOVE her wedding because step sister decided to take her date? OP, your Dad is a horrible person. I'm sorry, there is no fixing that.
S1: Please block dad on all forms of communication.. He doesn't deserve another chance.. S3: I love dogs!! But I'd not bring them out to eat unless I checked with everyone.. I have a friend who always wants to sit outside even when it's 90degrees outside; it's always a issue because I'm not burning up while trying to enjoy a outting..
3rd Story. ESH OP was not your place to change the arrangement without consulting anyone else. More then one brought dogs. True they were rude as well, they were just as obligated to speak to everyone regarding the dogs before making the decision they did. COMUNICATION!!!
Story 1: NTA and screw your stepsis and your 'parents'.
That being said, I got a feeling that stepsis learn this one-upping method from your own dad.
Like, a make-up trip right on stepsis´s birthday?! He can´t choose any other day/weekend/holiday?
I bet the two other times he put youself first were also at the cost of stepsis. Just like he definitely ignored lots of your special day or milestones to be with stepsis.
Stepsis should knew better as an adult, but dad sound like he´s trying to pit the two girls against each other and purposedly worsen their relationship.
Anyone saying NTA to the restaurant story: it’s ESH. Don’t move a reservation without asking. If you had a preference then say it BEFORE booking, or volunteer to book it yourself.
Agreed. Plus, who doesn't prefer outside? Maybe it's because I'm too nice, but if the reservation wasn't made by me I wouldn't change it. What if people wanted to smoke (I don't, but I don't care if others do).
OP is an ass.
Last story: OP does not need marriage counselling, she needs a divorce lawyer. Preferably a shark!
Story 1: NTA. That was a beautiful and well deserved take down. Stop entertaining this idiot as he's made it clear he no longer views you as his child.
Story 2: NTA. Finances and how they'll be impacted should be discussed before ANY career change. While it's understandable that he's upset over something he's worked hard for, he's putting an unfair burden onto OP. While, yes, he had paid more towards mutual bills so she could use her income to pay off her debt, that was went he was working a job with significantly more pay PLUS benefits. He now not only lacks the income but also that safety net as he's gone freelance. If this was something he did on the side as a hobby, then he should have kept it that way until he had more of a base to have a higher pay rate. Since he's now working from home has he picked up on doing more of the housework? Either way there's going to be resentment on either side, so best start prepping for that divorce.
Story 3: NTA. He failed to inform people the reservation wasn't only outdoors but outdoors because him and another member of their party were bringing their dogs to the restaurant. Did he once stop and have the thought that people would not want to be eating around another person's dogs? Outdoor dining has to be planned and agreed upon. The guy didn't make the reservation taking into consideration the weather, people's allergies, etc. No, he did it just so he could bring his dogs. OP moved the party inside to a more comfortable setting for the group overall.
Story 4: NTA. OP found a way to ensure his mom got was owed to her since the courts wouldn't grant it at the cost was putting up with his dad and the affair partner. It was the dad, not OP, who was begging to keep the relationship and he capitulated to OPs demand knowing the alternative was OP telling him to screw off. Oh dear, the affair partner's kids can't take a few extra curriculars? Those are LUXURIES not needs. Sounds like she's doing nothing for the family finances so if she wants her kids to have all this, then she can get a job to pay for it. She's giving gold digger alerts.
Story 5: NTA. They had a CLEAN GUEST ROOM made up for them but CHOSE to sleep in OP's bed because hubby said it was ok? Yeah, no. OP you need to take a hard look at this relationship and ask yourself if this spineless mama's boy is worth it. Honestly, I'm curious as to why OP and hubby didn't stay at home and offered the hotel room to them instead, if the wedding was close enough that staying at OP's house was feasible for the in-laws.
Story 3, depending on where you live, outside is not people friendly this time of year. It was over 120 today, and it will still be around 100 outside at 2 AM. I am not willing to sit in a puddle of my own sweat and risking heat stroke just so that someone can bring their dogs to a restaurant. Yes, I'm aware that where I live is Satan's Summer Camp.
Story 2 yta…. He helped pay off the student loans…. Helped pay to stay in an area SHE wants to stay at near HER family… wtf does he get out of this relationship besides problems?
I am genuinely surprised Reddit took his side. Men usually are told to sit down and be good little slaves for women. This was a genuine shock.
She at a job she hates as well. And she paid off her own student loans. A person doesn’t quit a job to do freelance for over half of what you was making.
@@sabrinahinton1774 "paid off her own loans"??? Are you deaf and blind? HE paid them off! Respond!
So if you listen to the whole thing he only paid slightly more while she was paying off her loan. Not that he payed all the bills for the time she paid off her loans. Sounds like there is no chances of making more money than he is now in that career and she's paying the majority of the bills and expenses. So how long is she expected to be the bread winner before he steps up and pulls his weight financially.
@@kristelneedtoknow3207Right because she REALLY didn't downplay his contribution. Nobody is buying it.
Plus he suggested moving away bit she said no. I want to be near family. I don't want the commute and getting another job isn't an option for her either.
Selfish in every way
I bet SIL and MIL were imagining sleeping with OP's husband, or they pissing all over OP's boundaries.
dogs and eating out. I like sitting outside. But don't like to eat with dogs all over. I don't take my dogs out on outings with other people. I want to be with the people, not the dogs.
S1 NTA!! OP should reply to the AH dad before blocking him "You've made your choice so you can screw off as all this is now is pointless noise as I want nothing to do with any of you"!! Have the wedding on the day that you planned and move forward into a family that you chose and will value and put you first. Also if OP did move her wedding I'd bet money she'd announce her pregnancy regardless of whether or not it was true just to upstage and steal the spotlight from OP.
Your videos are being stolen by Revenge hHHBB. The only difference I see is green over the txt.
There are a number of channels doing it. I reported one yesterday.
First story : Absolutely NTA OP. Your father is an emotional deadbeat to you and is so busy falling over himself to please his wife by accommodating her daughter that he has forgotten his own daughter. He does not deserve you. You could be petty and locate your stepsister's father and ask him to walk you down the aisle but, as it is, a close male relative of yours or your fiances would be glad to do the job. Then you can adopt this relative as your dad and ignore your own father. I am so sorry. Huge hug.
S 1- nta. I’m sorry op. Be aware that when your dad is old, he will come crawling with his hand out because step sister won’t take care of him.
In the last story, I do think MIL and SIL did that knowingly to annoy her, I believe that’s the case genuinely. I also genuinely believe that if you invite your sister over, and hubby allowed that, and she slept in your bed, presumably hubby’s also, and he didn’t complain? You don’t really have a leg to stand on now. Should her hubby have spoken to her first? Yes, but, how do you think that conversation goes? “Are you sure they have to stay at our house?” He might end up paying 1500$ for a last minute hotel room to make his wife feel better, because OP sounds like she will not drop this. Even with the fact that her own sister had already done all this first, still went on Reddit like, “I’m angry at him!” I would wager anything she would’ve offered him the classic wife compromise, “this is an offer that basically lets you subsidize my emotions with your money, basically pay a bunch of money so your family can stay elsewhere, or deal with me being angry.”
St-1. NTA. You dad is slow🤦🏽♀️ . The narrator called the step-Sister a Step-Idiot 😂😂😂
S2: "He covered a larger percentage of the expenses due to me _having student loans to pay off while he didn't_ "
Then he gets a job in his dream field and she's demanding he quit this _because it's not fair because she feels she's carrying him_
... And it'd kill his career if he quit now.
This person is a _ducking asshole_
story 1 your father is a massive jerk for picking his stepdaughter instead of his real daughter and ignoring you when she books the wedding venue you call up and cancel everything she books the day before her wedding and to rub it even more send bozo the clown to her house the day of her cancelled wedding 😠😠🤬🤬🤡
It just goes to show you how fucked up the system is that op was allowed to stay in her father’s care after she was abandoned in another state.
Story 3: NTA, outside is for smokers. No way am I sweating and cough out my lung and get attacked by insects.
Story 1: If you can forget a kid even exists, I dunno who is trusting you to take two of them out of state... and if it takes you a couple of years to realize you're being iced out, I no longer envy someone else having your attention, I pity them instead.
No.
I don't ever want to go out with friends and their dogs.
I love dogs.
If I want to spend time with other people's dogs, I'll go to their house.
Last story, did wife ask the husband before letting her sister sleep in the bad? Didn't sound like it, idiots spouting separation or therapy sound asinine, just set a boundary that this is not to happen again and if it does then it warrants further remedies.
And no where was it said that it was in their bed, it could have been when they were kids or on a vacation together
Story #4
Tell "Step-mom" that if Money is an issue, she can always go back to her "Old Profession".
I'm sure she can find a vacant street corner somewhere.
Mistress story: Maybe stepmom should start working instead of wh0ring herself to rich men or maybe look for her brats' fathers.
It's ironic that her father became the exact same deadbeat dad to her that her stepsister's was 😂
If I was gonna bend and change the date for my wedding. It would be the day BEFORE hers.
1-NTA Go full NC on dad and live a happy life. 2-Ugh. 3-NTA Friend should have told you that he was bringing his dogs. 4-NTA Glad you got your dad to help your mom. 5-NTA Husband is a dick.
I'm an avid dog lover but if one of my friends brought four dogs to the restaurant without telling me I'd have gotten up and left the restaurant without saying a word
Story about being inside the restaurant. That YTA comment of asking everyone what they prefer, sounds more like the dog guy should have done XD
He has to quit his dream job because SHE has college debt? They can't move to a cheaper area because it'll be a commute for HER and it'll be further from HER family.....Me, me, I and myself. He should take the job and give up OP.
oh he has to quit his job after helping her paly off her collage debts while he had been working in a job he hated.
Story 1: Why did the dad pick the stepdaughter birthday to take his bio daughter out?
Cause he's a jackass lol
Outside reservation story:
First of all, I want to put out there that I love dogs as to show I'm not just hating on them. This man had to be aware of how hot its been lately as well. I am just imagining sitting outside with sweat tricking down my back and chest. My drink becoming watered down from the melting ice. Then four dogs staring at you while you try to enjoy your also hot meal. Then one of them scratches themselves, sending hair into the air that descends upon your food and sticks to your body. One of them might put their head in your lap to be friendly but you already feel gross so you're just uncomfortable. Not a fun time.
They should've did a house get together with air conditioning and non-sticky dog cuddles.
Story 1 contact her dad and have him walk y down the aisle.
On story 2: NTA. How many people giving the YTA verdict missed the part where the two have separated finances because of the debt? And it was never stated that the husband paid a majority percentage, just that he now pays a smaller one because of the pay cut.....if this was a guy talking about his wife, everyone would be suggesting divorce.
Nah. I heard a similar story. The man (OP) was complaining that he married a woman from a rich family. Described her as a Spoiled Princess because she worked as an interior designer when she could stay at home without working. He bragged that he could support both of them since he's a surgeon and his job contributes more to society than her job.
Everyone in the YT Comment Section I saw was calling him a narcissistic jerk in the original story.
There were a lot of updates where the wife got involved and announced her divorce to him on Reddit. He was cheating on her, complaining their kids liked Grandpa more than him (he ignored his own children), and wanted Grandpa to Move out of state. His account is deleted now.
Hope we get an update where all OP's paternal relatives showed up for the her wedding and not the stepsisters.
HAPPY TUESDAY
In My Bed: As someone who routinely sweats in my bed, I can't imagine that even people I was directly related to would want to sleep in it, so going behind my back to do so, I can't even fathom that. The only thing that makes sense to me, with another bed available and ready for them, is that they, for some unknown reason, WANTED to sleep a recently used, unclean bed. And the only reason I can come up with is rather disturbing, but would also suggest that they like OP entirely too much, which seems doubtful.
Story 1 I would not even bat an eyelid, ask the dad to pay for the wedding, but tell him that the father-in-law would walk me down the aisle if my dad preferred to go to the stepsisters wedding. We've become very close as a family anyway and grown apart since dad found his new family.
Why the fuck are people insisting on taking their dogs to food venues? I love dogs but leave the damned pets at home.
Dad's Money: She doesn't need to get a job, but if her kids have all this energy that they need to do so many paid activities, maybe she can put them to work having a garage sale to sell off all the equipment for the activities they can no longer afford to pursue. And if she wants to be mad, maybe she should cheat with someone who has better finances next time. Or, you know, not cheat at all, then she wouldn't have a broke husband or kids she can't afford.
Exactly, she is a gold digger and she should ask her kids' fathers instead of ruining other families
That first story is so sad. The stepdaughter and dad deserve each other. What disgusting people. She is better off without her dad and step sister. Gross.
S3 - I was caught off guard but the remark, "He worked hard to get the job he wanted." and it pays only half what his old job did. What in the world kind of job anyone would want that pays only half? Raising puppies, maybe?
That struck me as strange as well. Was the lower income a surprise to everyone or just OP? Why did they buy where they did if husband knew his dream job was going to result in a pay cut? This couple is not communicating at all.
What kind of father would prioritize the step daughter over you. Cut ties with him completely. And when he is old and needs someone to take care of him, let him run to the step daughter.
Big surprise that the home wrecking gold digger isn’t happy about not getting all his money. Her kids can’t do 15 things…the shame
Who goes to restaurants with their dogs? Especially a whole passel of them... It was rude enough for them not to inform people that they were expected to eat outside.
Someone who made the reservation outside where they allow dogs. Why do you think that guy just randomly brought dogs? They were clearly allowed there
Last story a tenner says op’s hubby didn’t give permission to their bed being slept in but just said he did to defend his family.
1st story, OP I don't think you went scorched earth enough on your Dad and step sis at the café.
1st story: So, Dad admits that the family situation isn't stepsis's fault, which is technically true, and yet he still refuses to take any real responsibility for the mess that is his fault? Not even trying a real compromise?
NTA.
3. NTA.
I just don't understand the mentality of people who take their dogs, cats, whatever, everywhere they go.
These are people who don't want kids because they're too expensive, or whatever other reason, but will spend thousands on their dogs for health problems, and those dogs life spans are very limited.
My son-in-law is one of those types.
We went on a three day trip with them once, and he brought both of their hounds, without telling us.
We had separate rooms, but they were right next door, and I got very little sleep because of the howling all night long.
I told my wife she could go on trips with them (it's her daughter) if she wanted, but I wouldn't be going anywhere with them if they brought the dogs, she agreed, no more trips with dogs.
I don't dislike dogs, but I do not consider them family, they're pets, and I do just fine without them.
1. NTA. The step sister and Dad nith did something wrong and deserved to be told off. I too hope step sisters dad "reforms" and comes back and your dad is left in the cold.