The “Tall Poppy Syndrome” isn’t about knocking someone down a peg or two if the have ambition. Well not usually. It’s more about bragging about your successes. You can be as ambitious as you like, just don’t make a big deal about it. If you’re really outstanding in your field, people will notice and talk about you. There’s no need to do that yourself
Aussies typically simply don't like it people who excel beyond their perceived status-quo. It's a hangup from being a post-penal colony with overbearing Nanny state. I've noticed it my entire life, and its not great, but it is kinda cute to see it happen, unless the tear-downs are directed to you. I'm not a bragger, but find this constantly, especially underlying Australian suburban culture.
This is not true. Australians are willing to chop off their own nose to spite themselves. Even those that side with them. They’re like a mother with NPD. They hate that there are people are better than them.
I had a date with an Aussie guy once and he asked about my PhD (which was a huge achievement for me and took 11 years of hard graft at Uni). At one point he said ‘a PhD is just a piece of paper’. Oh really?? 🙄 Then he proceeded to say ‘come check out my collection of 30 surfboards’. Wow dude, that’s some mega achievement right there! 🙄😂 No second date.
As an Australian woman I don't want or expect the big gestures - how you treat each other every day is more important. But..... don't forget my birthday! A small gift is fine but don't forget!
@@Alpha_7227 Late response, but anyway... First few anniversaries are likely to be remembered, maybe even celebrated, but don't expect it to be a forever thing. Of course different strokes for different folks. Some hubbies will make a big deal out of it indefinitely. Plus the increasing Amerikanization of Oz is changing things too. We see so many Seppo TV shows and movies where hubbie gets in deep doo-doo for forgetting an anniversary that it's becoming more of a thing here.
"Australians are more eco-conscious, they make sure lights are off when not in use, hang their clothes outside to dry, don't have the air con on in rooms no one is it" That's not us being eco-conscious, that's because the electricity prices are insane.
Aussies, both men and women have a really good bullshit meter. We can smell it, hear it, sense it and don't put up with it - Aussies can sniff out a lier and ignore them or rebutt them most of the time. We don't fall for crap...
That was actually really accurate… my boyfriend and I in the almost four years of dating have only ever been on one date, and that was because we got given a voucher to a restaurant for Christmas 😂 You really hit the nail on the head with this video!
I've never gone on dates, but had a lot of casual encounters, and 4 long-term partners... We do what we want/go where we like, but never feel compelled to go on formalised dates/events/outings, and especially not just because it's a birthday/anniversary. We get each other gifts whenever we want, and don't do it because of Hallmark holidays~!
A lot of aussies don’t stress about the Valentine’s Day thing. Rather than buy flowers and stuff on a set day, pick a random day and show up with choccies and take her out to dinner. It means a lot more. Just subbed!
I once met this woman who had a high administrative position in the fire brigade. She said that occasionally a guy would chat her up at a pub, claiming he was a fireman. She'd say, "Oh, great! Which fire station do you work at?" And he'd bolt. So... Aussie men might not try to impress you with their credit card, but they just might pretend to be a fireman...
LOL, when I was in the army a friend of mine would try and give the most ridiculous job titles to impress the ladies, my favourite was he was a tail gunner on an F-111, she actually believed him! 😂😂😂
@@utha2665 funny enough this has happened to me. I tried online dating once and this guy contacted me and the first thing he said was "so.. how would you like to chat with a military man? I hear women like a man in uniform..." I said to him "I was in the army actually, I knew plenty of military men, and honestly I prefer a man in a suit..." He deleted our chat and I never heard from him again. Funny thing is I really am ex-military and I wondered if he actually was. His long shaggy hair suggested otherwise. A man can't have long hair in the military.
@@chriskelly9476 true, unless he was ex-military, I know plenty of guys that grow out their hair and a long beard, especially these days. But then why didn't he just come out and say ex-military? I think your instincts were correct, nothing like trying to start a relationship with a lie.
I’ve been watching your videos for a while now, and I mist say I’m quite impressed with this video, you have really done well here in describing the Australian dating experience and relationship. Well done..
I've been married to an American for 3 yrs. Yes being an Aussie I've noticed a huge difference. More so him with me. He's had quite a number of jaw dropping moments with me. I can honestly say that when I move to America. I'm going to blow alot of his friends minds with the unexpected and most Aussie ideas I'll be taking with me. There are a few things I have to remember. That is Americans dont get Aussie jokes. Americans don't know how to go with the flow. Like Aussies do and I know some of his friends wives expect him to treat me like their husbands treat them. For me I couldn't be bothered. I've already blown their minds already with some of my ideas of a good time.
As an Australian man living in the US, I can tell you Americans really struggle with our irreverent sense of humor. Also swearing, a well placed God dammit will get you looks like you are the spawn of Satan
"Grab a Bickie & a Cuppa " every week goes by u get more & more Aussie ! Very sharp with your observations . Us Aussies really got no time for BS and it really is a national pastime for a lot of us to just take the mickey out of everything and everyone , we just like to keep things real !
Grab a Bickie & a Cuppa!! I never heard that and I've been in Australia all my life. Many people drink coffee these days anyway. Not American coffee though.
I would add that splitting the bill on dates is not uncommon or frowned on. The only time that people are expected to pay for the other person is if they have organised something in advance and asked the other person to come, rather than a mutual 'date'.
My daughter dates an Aussie bloke (they both have 1 boy each, so he sold his condo and moved in) and she's a great mom, does a lot of chores around the house, but so does he. The difference is that she earns twice as much as he does (and he has a very good paying job). While they are both managers, he's middle management & she is upper. While he doesn't seem uncomfortable with that reality, he also doesn't bring the subject up and answers anything related in a short manner. Everything else you say fits him to a tee. He a big guy and did construction & played rugby all his life. He could break me like a twig without even trying. But I never felt any macho testosterone alpha competition or potential aggression like you do with so many such men in the States. His handshakes are gentle & considerate. His whole demeanor is generous, kind, laid back & humorous. Anyway no men are perfect regardless where their from, and Australian men certainly have their faults as well. I suppose the real difference is that they don't wear their opinions like a badge. In fact it's quite the opposite. If they don't approve of you, you'll probably never hear about it, and suddenly that famous Aussie humor becomes a shield for them to hide behind.
Completely of the subject. I love that you wear bright lipstick. It brings back the best memories of my life. In 1973 I went to an Easter party in North Sydney and saw a beautiful woman with red hair to her waist. We met talked and she was from San Francisco in Australia 2 years and I was a kiwi in Australia about 13 years. Things progressed and in January 1974 we married in NZ and six months later we moved to Canada. In 1988 we moved to New York as she got offered a VP job. In 2007 we retired and moved back to Canada. She passed away in 2014. We had a long 40 year marriage and I have to admit I would do it again in a heart beat. She was my soul mate. Now lipstick. When we met fashion was changing and pale flesh coloured lipstick were becoming popular. She refused to change. I only Remember one pale lipstick because she said Bright lipstick didn’t go with a particular dress. I wouldn’t argue because she was a professional colourist. One of those strange people who tells manufacturers the colours to use for the next few years. So thank you for brightening up an old guys day.
My wife stayed at home to raise our girls to school age, mainly because the cost of childcare was about $15 dollars less than what she brought home, at that time. She took the opportunity to get some further qualifications, and got a better job once our youngest started kindy. That job happened to be with a neighbouring school, so no holiday child care costs was a bonus. Australians really don't like braggarts, so if you are good at something, letting someone else talk about how good you are, is the pinnacle of success. Milestones like a significant birthday, 40, 50, 60 for example, or an anniversary, are usually, but not always, celebrated with an extended family party. Most other celebrations are usually low key, maybe dinner at a fancy ($$$) restaurant, or a dinner cruise.
I agree with everything you said especially the missus part.. lol I could be wrong, but Australia's convict/ working class heritage still runs through our veins. We are about getting the job done, don't think about stuff too much, look after ya mates, have a beer, don't be a knob, work hard, don't get a fat head or someone will take you down a peg or two.. the list goes on 🙂
"Tall Poppy Syndrome" is universally true in Australia and is a bit of a double-edged sword. It's an extension of our desire to be down-to-earth and relatable to any ordinary citizen. The culture behind this is that perceived arrogance or boasting (your income, car, hot husband/wife, sporting prowess, etc) is very frowned upon. We'll probably already know and don't need to be reminded over and over, and if that happens the "tall poppy" might be cut down in a conversation. By all means if directly asked in a conversation, tell them you're a lawyer or a surgeon or whatever. But following it with tales of how amazing you are will lead to problems. Yeah we can often be direct. "What do you think of this dress?" "I don't like it." Well you asked! "I just did....... (obviously extremely silly thing)". "Well that was .....ing silly, wasn't it?" It's not designed as an insult, it's just a direct opinion! 🙂
Always interesting hearing your perspective 🙂 I'd say Aussie anniversaries need to be 'marked' in some way - a card, dinner somewhere nice, maybe flowers but they're soooo expensive - but the main thing is that the guy will be toast if he forgets 😅 Couples will often mark the significant anniversaries (40th, 50th etc) with a family 'do' so everyone can celebrate and catch up. As for the tall poppy thing, that's more about cutting down someone who's successful and (possibly) arrogant about it. We often do that to celebrities rather than our friends. A different phenomenon is that Aussie guys and girls often befriend ppl who are 'like them'; ppl who fit into their social & cultural sphere. That can be a good thing because there's an egalitarian spirit, but it can also narrow the field of potential friendships and stop them getting to know some amazing ppl.
On stay at home mums, the tax breaks and high costs of private childcare mean there is a big disincentive for a women with a low-to-mid income to rush back to paid work. But generous maternity leave and legally-enforced accommodation of returning mums to the workforce make a big difference too. I had a colleague who took 6mths mat leave on full pay, then the company kept her job on hold while she stayed away for another 9mths, then she returned to work and immediately announced she was pregnant again, so soon left for another 6mths of leave on full pay, and the company kept her job again even though half the people actually in the office were being made redundant.
So just a few simple rules of thumb dating any Aussie, weather male or female: 1. We don't care for materalism, don't get me wrong if thought was put into it we appreciate it. But if its following a trend, or doing what everyone else is doing or supppperrr last minute and we can tell, you're better off just getting a movie and ordering dinner sitting down and having some QT or TLC then buying something. 2. It is truly the thought that counts. No matter how small or large the gesture is, if its done with heart we appreciate it (even if its over the top). With that said, don't waste money on something that's only going to be a moments enjoyment, instead book a weekend away or go fishing lol. We put more emphasis on life quality over quantity for the most part. 3. It doesn't have to be a special day to give a gift. We aren't guaranteed our next breath little lone tomorrow, so we'd rather spend our time wisely and making the most of it then doing things that are overly.. planned? (wrong word but you get the gist). 4. When it comes to special days - its not that we dont celebrate them, its more like.. we'll do something special in our own way and normally its based off of what we enjoy doing with our partner. Christmas, is family time, while we'd prefer to have one big massive family bbq (you know where you bring your family, he brings his etc), quiet days are also good too. 5. When it does come to special days like anniversaries - we are more likely to rolls those up into holiday time because well.. working hard is a part of the Aussie way of life. With that said, everyones different. We have a more laid back culture to America and we like quality over quantity and money any day. Oh and welcome to the Aussie family. Try to relax and breath lol.
Listen I am an Australian of 7th generation decent and I have never heard that expression and I think its a bit cringe worthy. Not sure where this part of Australia this is said but I must have missed it all my life.
I didn't think stay at home mum as much of thing these days, now is more likely to be whoever is earning the most money would likely be the bread winner. That could be the man or the woman, being a stay at home parent is not a long term option for most families these days. Life's too expensive since the 80s/90s for a single income families to be a thing for most families.
Interesting observation with the giving of gifts. I guess I've never really noticed, but it seems you are right. I don't know what it is about Aussie culture that makes us less interested in giving gifts, but it seems that both Aussie men are less interested in giving gifts and Aussie women are less interested in receiving them. Perhaps it's something to do with a feeling that we would be owing them something if we received gifts or we wanted something in return if we were giving gifts?
@@Rottnwoman I wasn't just thinking of Americans when writing my post. I've heard and seen examples from Chinese and Japanese men and women. I guess gift giving & receiving is just less of an Aussie thing.
Never forgot my first wife's birthday , she was very particular with cleaning so being your typical practical Aussie bloke I bought her a hand held vucuam cleaner to make it easy for small quick clean ups . She probably still complaining 30 yrs later that it wasn't a suitable present , I thought it was a brilliant present !
One year, early in our marriage my darling hubby bought me an anniversary gift, he’d been banging on about it excitedly for weeks. I was sort of expecting jewellery, or hoping for it at least. He pulls up in his Ute and calls me outside. Hauls this red pull along wagon “ta daaa”!!!! I’m like wtf is that. ??? It’s a wagon so you can pull your tools around while you’re gardening, or bring wood in for the fireplace etc. “thank you darling I said and gave him a big kiss.” For his birthday a month later I bought him a big bottle of my favourite perfume and told him he’d love it.. bloody wagon man what the hell.?????
I'm Australian, my wife is from Louisiana. We've been married now for 15 years, and have 4 kids, so I must be doing something right. My wife likes appliances for gifts.
Really astute observations. Had I ever dated an American girl I'd have had no idea why she was upset. The differences you've pointed out would not of occurred to me that people would have such different expectations. I've worked closely with US folks for 30 + years. But never dated one.
In 42 yrs of marriage to my late wife I can honestly say that I never missed her birthdays or our anniversary once and she would go crook if I was extravagant in her presents Christmas was the same She always said that she preferred something inexpensive but personal and bought for her and not something we needed for the house or garden . Instead of expensive presents or dates we saved our money and went on exciting holidays . She was known as my missus from the moment my mates met her and.was exsepted by them as the woman I loved and was going to marry , good job they did except her otherwise I would be looking for new mates but generally you are correct if you're not liked as a partner usually you would have problems from mates and family . I was lucky , my mates would have killed for my lady wife .and I felt the same way about all of their partners . We do as Aussies have what's called the tall poppy syndrome its not that we're jealous or envious of successful people it's that we don't like them bragging or flaunting their wealth or status , real class is not expecting people to be impressed but to be impressive without trying . You've already been excepted , I'm sure there's lots of Aussies who agree with me that you'll make a bloody good Aussie as long as you go for NSW in the state of origin and go for Australia in anything competitive between us and the Pommies , keep up the good work
I'm not sure men prefer their wife to be a stay at home wife, certainly not for me. It's nice to be able to provide for my wife so, if she chooses, can be a stay at home mum. But I certainly wouldn't want her to be at home for my own ego.
I feel like all of these point to one thing - our sense of egalitarianism. No one gets treated badly, no one gets treated special. You'll never see an aussie in the back seat of a taxi being chauffeured. You jump in the front and call the driver mate
Enjoy your videos and cultural comparisons, very funny and entertaining. Have travelled to the US on a numdet of occasions, enjoying every trip. The best friends Australians have are the Americans. You are the best type of immigrant we could want for Australia. Please send more of your kind to Australia asap....
Kerry Packer who was a media mogul in Australia and very rich was very fond of gambling he was Vegas playing poker with a group of high rollers one of which was a was a Texas oil millionaire who was bragging about how he was worth 5 million and his oil wells and ranches and so on finally this got on Kerry's nerves and he turned to the guy grabbed a coin from his pocket and said "Flip you for it" was he serious well that's hard to say but Kerry supposedly kept 5 million in gold in his office safe. So he could of covered the bet.
My x girlfriend was moping around and I said go to your room and get over your sh** then come back when your ready. Might be why she is an x but don't be mopey.
This is EXTREMELY HELPFUL! I swear I have almost wanted to break-up with my Australian boyfriend twice this week but you may have saved us! One: he gave me (what I perceived as bad attitude) some shit about having the fireplace on in the morning when I was cold. Two: He is CONSTANTLY flipping me sarcastic and passive-aggressive comments. I hate that last thing as I was raised in an abusive environment and have gone through a lot of therapy to not allow people to disrespect me like that anymore. But that’s the main way he communicates; not abusively but constant correcting me on every little detail but also doing the same for himself and laughing. Lots of laughing. I am glad I started researching differences between Australians and Americans.
It’s absolutely your relationship however I would suggest that at some point, regardless of these kinds of differences, our partner shouldn’t constantly make you feel uncomfortable and such. A bit of give and take should be required. Look after yourself! 😊
Your partner should be your greatest cheerleader, not someone who tries to make you feel small by disrespecting you. It's your life. Constantly correcting you absoluely IS abusive.
The Misso. The Cheese and Kisses. The Better Half. The Other Half. It takes some time but it's just accepted. Not because of any grand statements. Not because of a declaration. Hell, not even because of a marriage. Just because your mates see it's working, for you, and for everyone else in your social group too. You fit together, and together you fit in.
Although it’s amazing for a man to spoil you with materialistic things, most Aussie women prefer something more simple, more genuine and sincere gestures and mementos then flowered that die or expensive something that if you lose will be a bone of contention. I know I’d rather a love language that lasts than a superficial show of one’s relationship
one thing about aussie guys...they are not conventionally romantic...but if you want a decent, reliable fella and a relationship based on mutual respect, leavened with humour .. well aussie men are the best... they may not offer many flowers...but they will be mowing the lawn on Saturday and heading up the Barbie for friends and family on Sunday...the men in my family will not win any prizes for being flash.. but they are there when you need them...
Another way of putting the 'Australian men are honest and say it like it is' thing might be to say that we are direct... we don't really pussy foot around the subject and won't really sugar coat things, you are right... we are very direct 👍.... in the words of P!nk... no bullshit! (When asked why she and Australia/Australians love each other so much)🙂👍
I've found the sense of pride thing in "my wife stays at home" wears off as they get older and realise that having help to bring in the income and also being there as the children grow is more important. I also resolved years ago that I wouldn't rely on someone else for my income. My husband is my biggest supporter, If i want that promotion, he'll be there with the pom poms to cheer me on. He also doesn't care that I earn way more than him, i think that comes with age and maturity because at the end of the day we share, but also know that we can support ourselves if anything bad happened.
1,2,3 I completely disagree with. These are totally ip to the guy your dating. Maybe the difference is your not shamed here if your not a romantic but there are definitely romantics here in Australia.
I’ve known millionaire business owners that still have a beer with their workers. If your wife is a stay at home mum it’s reassuring to know your kids are in good hands.
I remember watching the world surf championships years ago when an American won the world surfing championship Kelly Slatter Aussie Mark Occolupo came second Kelly went waffling on for a long time about his win and what he was going to do with his winnings Occi didn’t say much just I dunno what I’m gunna do with my winnings
7:16 nah when they can walk and eat smoko then they go to work. They take time off for school ;) My Father used to pick me up after school to crawl through ceilings. Then other days it was fishing. I had a great childhood. I didn't know I was working.
Great video! I’d be interested to hear your perspective on the recent election and democratic culture in Australia, without any need to comment on partisan politics. What did you make of “democracy sausage” fundraiser barbecues, people’s reluctance to talk politics socially, the relatively low-key political advertising? I’m guessing this might have been a contrast to the states.
On the "Tall Poppy Syndrome". You know you are a leader when you look over your shoulder to discover others following you. If you feel the need to call yourself the leader, then you are deluded. Similarly, we are often bewildered by the idea of Limos. The US folks seem to be impressed by the idea of riding in one. To the Aussie, they are long, hard to maneuver, inconvenient & pretentious.
Ive bern an australian since i was born 69 years ago. Ive never met any australian male who takes huge pride in having a stay at home wife, the odd mysogynist might want thst but not take pride in it. Most guys couldnt care less whether either of them work or not. The only reason to work is money so you can enjoy your life
Tall Poppy Syndrome is always paired with the Underdog Phenomenon. People in Australia like to get behind the underdog and propel them upwards but if they get too full of themselves too quickly without merit, they get chopped back down to size. This ensures that the people at the top are truly great, are deserving of being there and appreciate their position. Some of the most beloved people in Australia exhibit this. Such as John Farnham, Jimmy Barnes, Kylie Minogue and etc.
I made a big deal about 25th, and 40th wedding anniversary. Others we go out to dinner but often on a different day to our anniversary due to our life schedule
You pretty well nailed how Aussie men are, some of your options are close to the mark....but generally we are a laid back bunch of blokes, who tell it how it is.... better to be honest from the start than lie like a pig in shit. You have done well. Thankyou Caitlyn 👏👍💪🇦🇺 Brisbane bound.
Your experience about stay at home mums may be a youth view. I don't think stay at home mothers are pulling their weight. I worked full time with 2 kids and a working hubby - it gave me satisfaction, good pay, a career and excellent super and 2 great independent kids.
Tall poppy syndrome isn't about status or success, and it's not even really about bragging. It's really just all about the way people behave towards others, especially those less fortunate. If someone treats anyone else as if they're below them, they'll get cut down. We will judge people not on how much money they have, or their belongings, or their social status, but on how they treat other people. Aussies can and will brag about things, bragging is fine, they'll get ribbed for it, but not in a harmful nasty way... so long as they're not behaving as if whatever they're bragging about makes them better than anyone else, or more accurately, makes other people worth less than them.
Can't agree with the pride about stay at home mums. I brag about my partner's success and their career but i get it, it's not universal. It is a good indicator that they've got young kids though,
Would say as a whole; holidays are very lowkey compared to the USA. Even Australia day, is easily the most enthusiastic celebrated day in straya; is basically a lazy day at the beach compared to madness of July 4th in the USA or Bonfire night in the UK. From the east midlands, former expat in California, yanks definitely love their holidays more than most. But for most aussies; holidays is mostly just another day to relax and grill.. Also you are bloody mad if you think they are think aussies are any more eco-conscious than yanks when they're not paying the bill. lol
An excellent discription. As Aussies, my wife and I noticed the amount of waste (i.e. packaging of products etc) that occurs in the states during our per-covid travels every year. We have driven thru all states in the continental USA. Drought is a very serious problem here in Australia, water shortages can strike Queensland (and even Melbourne). Droughts can last 10 years. Maybe that explains why we have become water concious. The US has a much larger population, hence more competition in businesses to keep costs down, something Australia lacks. Seen how much electricity prices have jumped the last 12 months?
The “Tall Poppy Syndrome” isn’t about knocking someone down a peg or two if the have ambition. Well not usually. It’s more about bragging about your successes. You can be as ambitious as you like, just don’t make a big deal about it. If you’re really outstanding in your field, people will notice and talk about you. There’s no need to do that yourself
Aussies typically simply don't like it people who excel beyond their perceived status-quo. It's a hangup from being a post-penal colony with overbearing Nanny state. I've noticed it my entire life, and its not great, but it is kinda cute to see it happen, unless the tear-downs are directed to you. I'm not a bragger, but find this constantly, especially underlying Australian suburban culture.
Tall poppy is like the Chinese saying that the nail that stands up gets knocked down.
No one likes people who like to big-note themselves...
This is not true. Australians are willing to chop off their own nose to spite themselves. Even those that side with them. They’re like a mother with NPD. They hate that there are people are better than them.
I had a date with an Aussie guy once and he asked about my PhD (which was a huge achievement for me and took 11 years of hard graft at Uni). At one point he said ‘a PhD is just a piece of paper’. Oh really?? 🙄 Then he proceeded to say ‘come check out my collection of 30 surfboards’. Wow dude, that’s some mega achievement right there! 🙄😂 No second date.
As an Australian woman I don't want or expect the big gestures - how you treat each other every day is more important. But..... don't forget my birthday! A small gift is fine but don't forget!
What about anniversaries?
@@Alpha_7227 Late response, but anyway...
First few anniversaries are likely to be remembered, maybe even celebrated, but don't expect it to be a forever thing. Of course different strokes for different folks. Some hubbies will make a big deal out of it indefinitely. Plus the increasing Amerikanization of Oz is changing things too. We see so many Seppo TV shows and movies where hubbie gets in deep doo-doo for forgetting an anniversary that it's becoming more of a thing here.
"Australians are more eco-conscious, they make sure lights are off when not in use, hang their clothes outside to dry, don't have the air con on in rooms no one is it"
That's not us being eco-conscious, that's because the electricity prices are insane.
Aussies, both men and women have a really good bullshit meter. We can smell it, hear it, sense it and don't put up with it - Aussies can sniff out a lier and ignore them or rebutt them most of the time. We don't fall for crap...
That was actually really accurate… my boyfriend and I in the almost four years of dating have only ever been on one date, and that was because we got given a voucher to a restaurant for Christmas 😂
You really hit the nail on the head with this video!
I've never gone on dates, but had a lot of casual encounters, and 4 long-term partners... We do what we want/go where we like, but never feel compelled to go on formalised dates/events/outings, and especially not just because it's a birthday/anniversary. We get each other gifts whenever we want, and don't do it because of Hallmark holidays~!
A lot of aussies don’t stress about the Valentine’s Day thing. Rather than buy flowers and stuff on a set day, pick a random day and show up with choccies and take her out to dinner. It means a lot more. Just subbed!
Washing smells and feels so much better after drying on the line, better for your skin too as the sun sterilises your clothes.
Celebrating anniversaries in the American way is a nod to commercialism. Aussies care more about how you connect everyday.
I once met this woman who had a high administrative position in the fire brigade. She said that occasionally a guy would chat her up at a pub, claiming he was a fireman. She'd say, "Oh, great! Which fire station do you work at?" And he'd bolt. So... Aussie men might not try to impress you with their credit card, but they just might pretend to be a fireman...
LOL, when I was in the army a friend of mine would try and give the most ridiculous job titles to impress the ladies, my favourite was he was a tail gunner on an F-111, she actually believed him! 😂😂😂
@@utha2665 I wonder what she would have said if she’d actually been an army insider…
@@athag1 I would guess she wouldn't have been as impressed, and maybe wouldn't have been so successful 😂
@@utha2665 funny enough this has happened to me. I tried online dating once and this guy contacted me and the first thing he said was "so.. how would you like to chat with a military man? I hear women like a man in uniform..." I said to him "I was in the army actually, I knew plenty of military men, and honestly I prefer a man in a suit..." He deleted our chat and I never heard from him again. Funny thing is I really am ex-military and I wondered if he actually was. His long shaggy hair suggested otherwise. A man can't have long hair in the military.
@@chriskelly9476 true, unless he was ex-military, I know plenty of guys that grow out their hair and a long beard, especially these days. But then why didn't he just come out and say ex-military? I think your instincts were correct, nothing like trying to start a relationship with a lie.
I’ve been watching your videos for a while now, and I mist say I’m quite impressed with this video, you have really done well here in describing the Australian dating experience and relationship. Well done..
I've been married to an American for 3 yrs. Yes being an Aussie I've noticed a huge difference. More so him with me. He's had quite a number of jaw dropping moments with me. I can honestly say that when I move to America. I'm going to blow alot of his friends minds with the unexpected and most Aussie ideas I'll be taking with me. There are a few things I have to remember. That is Americans dont get Aussie jokes. Americans don't know how to go with the flow. Like Aussies do and I know some of his friends wives expect him to treat me like their husbands treat them. For me I couldn't be bothered. I've already blown their minds already with some of my ideas of a good time.
As an Australian man living in the US, I can tell you Americans really struggle with our irreverent sense of humor. Also swearing, a well placed God dammit will get you looks like you are the spawn of Satan
2:29 My Mother did the book work for my Father's business. Just like a good secretary she bought herself a gift. He never forgot ;)
Hi Kaitlyn, having dated and married an American lady I can relate to each and every point you make.
"Grab a Bickie & a Cuppa " every week goes by u get more & more Aussie ! Very sharp with your observations . Us Aussies really got no time for BS and it really is a national pastime for a lot of us to just take the mickey out of everything and everyone , we just like to keep things real !
Grab a Bickie & a Cuppa!! I never heard that and I've been in Australia all my life. Many people drink coffee these days anyway. Not American coffee though.
Well done to you Katlan. I'm a 50 year old Aussie and you didnt miss a beat. On ya mate.
Great stuff and love how you acknowledge Traditional Owners. See you round like a mud crab!
I like how your Australian teddy behind you is more laid back compared to the US one.
I enjoyed this video. Thanks
I would add that splitting the bill on dates is not uncommon or frowned on. The only time that people are expected to pay for the other person is if they have organised something in advance and asked the other person to come, rather than a mutual 'date'.
Nice one
My daughter dates an Aussie bloke (they both have 1 boy each, so he sold his condo and moved in) and she's a great mom, does a lot of chores around the house, but so does he. The difference is that she earns twice as much as he does (and he has a very good paying job). While they are both managers, he's middle management & she is upper. While he doesn't seem uncomfortable with that reality, he also doesn't bring the subject up and answers anything related in a short manner. Everything else you say fits him to a tee. He a big guy and did construction & played rugby all his life. He could break me like a twig without even trying. But I never felt any macho testosterone alpha competition or potential aggression like you do with so many such men in the States. His handshakes are gentle & considerate. His whole demeanor is generous, kind, laid back & humorous. Anyway no men are perfect regardless where their from, and Australian men certainly have their faults as well. I suppose the real difference is that they don't wear their opinions like a badge. In fact it's quite the opposite. If they don't approve of you, you'll probably never hear about it, and suddenly that famous Aussie humor becomes a shield for them to hide behind.
Australia is mixed with so many cultures from 150 countries and so glad you are living here hope It continues :) thank you for these videos
Completely of the subject. I love that you wear bright lipstick. It brings back the best memories of my life. In 1973 I went to an Easter party in North Sydney and saw a beautiful woman with red hair to her waist. We met talked and she was from San Francisco in Australia 2 years and I was a kiwi in Australia about 13 years. Things progressed and in January 1974 we married in NZ and six months later we moved to Canada. In 1988 we moved to New York as she got offered a VP job. In 2007 we retired and moved back to Canada. She passed away in 2014. We had a long 40 year marriage and I have to admit I would do it again in a heart beat. She was my soul mate. Now lipstick. When we met fashion was changing and pale flesh coloured lipstick were becoming popular. She refused to change. I only Remember one pale lipstick because she said Bright lipstick didn’t go with a particular dress. I wouldn’t argue because she was a professional colourist. One of those strange people who tells manufacturers the colours to use for the next few years. So thank you for brightening up an old guys day.
My wife stayed at home to raise our girls to school age, mainly because the cost of childcare was about $15 dollars less than what she brought home, at that time. She took the opportunity to get some further qualifications, and got a better job once our youngest started kindy. That job happened to be with a neighbouring school, so no holiday child care costs was a bonus.
Australians really don't like braggarts, so if you are good at something, letting someone else talk about how good you are, is the pinnacle of success.
Milestones like a significant birthday, 40, 50, 60 for example, or an anniversary, are usually, but not always, celebrated with an extended family party. Most other celebrations are usually low key, maybe dinner at a fancy ($$$) restaurant, or a dinner cruise.
I agree with everything you said especially the missus part.. lol I could be wrong, but Australia's convict/ working class heritage still runs through our veins. We are about getting the job done, don't think about stuff too much, look after ya mates, have a beer, don't be a knob, work hard, don't get a fat head or someone will take you down a peg or two.. the list goes on 🙂
"Tall Poppy Syndrome" is universally true in Australia and is a bit of a double-edged sword. It's an extension of our desire to be down-to-earth and relatable to any ordinary citizen. The culture behind this is that perceived arrogance or boasting (your income, car, hot husband/wife, sporting prowess, etc) is very frowned upon. We'll probably already know and don't need to be reminded over and over, and if that happens the "tall poppy" might be cut down in a conversation. By all means if directly asked in a conversation, tell them you're a lawyer or a surgeon or whatever. But following it with tales of how amazing you are will lead to problems. Yeah we can often be direct. "What do you think of this dress?" "I don't like it." Well you asked! "I just did....... (obviously extremely silly thing)". "Well that was .....ing silly, wasn't it?" It's not designed as an insult, it's just a direct opinion! 🙂
With each video you sound more and more Aussie with the understanding of the way of life we live
Always interesting hearing your perspective 🙂 I'd say Aussie anniversaries need to be 'marked' in some way - a card, dinner somewhere nice, maybe flowers but they're soooo expensive - but the main thing is that the guy will be toast if he forgets 😅 Couples will often mark the significant anniversaries (40th, 50th etc) with a family 'do' so everyone can celebrate and catch up.
As for the tall poppy thing, that's more about cutting down someone who's successful and (possibly) arrogant about it. We often do that to celebrities rather than our friends.
A different phenomenon is that Aussie guys and girls often befriend ppl who are 'like them'; ppl who fit into their social & cultural sphere. That can be a good thing because there's an egalitarian spirit, but it can also narrow the field of potential friendships and stop them getting to know some amazing ppl.
On stay at home mums, the tax breaks and high costs of private childcare mean there is a big disincentive for a women with a low-to-mid income to rush back to paid work. But generous maternity leave and legally-enforced accommodation of returning mums to the workforce make a big difference too. I had a colleague who took 6mths mat leave on full pay, then the company kept her job on hold while she stayed away for another 9mths, then she returned to work and immediately announced she was pregnant again, so soon left for another 6mths of leave on full pay, and the company kept her job again even though half the people actually in the office were being made redundant.
So just a few simple rules of thumb dating any Aussie, weather male or female:
1. We don't care for materalism, don't get me wrong if thought was put into it we appreciate it. But if its following a trend, or doing what everyone else is doing or supppperrr last minute and we can tell, you're better off just getting a movie and ordering dinner sitting down and having some QT or TLC then buying something.
2. It is truly the thought that counts. No matter how small or large the gesture is, if its done with heart we appreciate it (even if its over the top). With that said, don't waste money on something that's only going to be a moments enjoyment, instead book a weekend away or go fishing lol. We put more emphasis on life quality over quantity for the most part.
3. It doesn't have to be a special day to give a gift. We aren't guaranteed our next breath little lone tomorrow, so we'd rather spend our time wisely and making the most of it then doing things that are overly.. planned? (wrong word but you get the gist).
4. When it comes to special days - its not that we dont celebrate them, its more like.. we'll do something special in our own way and normally its based off of what we enjoy doing with our partner. Christmas, is family time, while we'd prefer to have one big massive family bbq (you know where you bring your family, he brings his etc), quiet days are also good too.
5. When it does come to special days like anniversaries - we are more likely to rolls those up into holiday time because well.. working hard is a part of the Aussie way of life.
With that said, everyones different. We have a more laid back culture to America and we like quality over quantity and money any day.
Oh and welcome to the Aussie family. Try to relax and breath lol.
"Grab a bikkie and grab a cuppa", we're only a minute into the video and you're already making me proud.
Listen I am an Australian of 7th generation decent and I have never heard that expression and I think its a bit cringe worthy. Not sure where this part of Australia this is said but I must have missed it all my life.
Glad to hear its working for you. Have to say it takes a female with a good mind set to be able to express and understand the differences.
You totally hit it on the head when you said us Ozzie guys are not nearly as materialistic as the US counterparts.
"the first year is paper, the second year is cotton" ... that's why we don't do it! it's STUPID! lol
The stupidest! But how many American marriages last very long?
@@Rottnwoman uhh, why "American marriages"?
I didn't think stay at home mum as much of thing these days, now is more likely to be whoever is earning the most money would likely be the bread winner. That could be the man or the woman, being a stay at home parent is not a long term option for most families these days. Life's too expensive since the 80s/90s for a single income families to be a thing for most families.
Interesting observation with the giving of gifts. I guess I've never really noticed, but it seems you are right. I don't know what it is about Aussie culture that makes us less interested in giving gifts, but it seems that both Aussie men are less interested in giving gifts and Aussie women are less interested in receiving them. Perhaps it's something to do with a feeling that we would be owing them something if we received gifts or we wanted something in return if we were giving gifts?
Less greedy / needy than Americans?
@@Rottnwoman I wasn't just thinking of Americans when writing my post. I've heard and seen examples from Chinese and Japanese men and women. I guess gift giving & receiving is just less of an Aussie thing.
Never forgot my first wife's birthday , she was very particular with cleaning so being your typical practical Aussie bloke I bought her a hand held vucuam cleaner to make it easy for small quick clean ups . She probably still complaining 30 yrs later that it wasn't a suitable present , I thought it was a brilliant present !
This is funny as my wife asks for house hold appliances to be given as presents 🎁
She loves cooking and cleaning finds it relaxing 😎
😂😂😂
One year, early in our marriage my darling hubby bought me an anniversary gift, he’d been banging on about it excitedly for weeks. I was sort of expecting jewellery, or hoping for it at least. He pulls up in his Ute and calls me outside. Hauls this red pull along wagon “ta daaa”!!!! I’m like wtf is that. ??? It’s a wagon so you can pull your tools around while you’re gardening, or bring wood in for the fireplace etc. “thank you darling I said and gave him a big kiss.” For his birthday a month later I bought him a big bottle of my favourite perfume and told him he’d love it.. bloody wagon man what the hell.?????
14:47 the NAVY showers. I grew up with that and ironing your clothes under the bed sheets and pillows.
LOL this is a really accurate appraisal. I laughed when you said "Missus" status!!! :-D :-D :-D :-D
Really trye words Kaitlyn. Geez- you're practically an Aussie now. :)
I'm Australian, my wife is from Louisiana. We've been married now for 15 years, and have 4 kids, so I must be doing something right. My wife likes appliances for gifts.
Yep, sounds about right! We do love very deeply though.
Stay at home Mums are a lovely addition to any family.
Our kids were our most important concern. Staying home to look after them, was a blessing.
I would give ANYTHING not to have had my mother at home with me!
@@Rottnwoman Sorry to hear...
Really astute observations. Had I ever dated an American girl I'd have had no idea why she was upset. The differences you've pointed out would not of occurred to me that people would have such different expectations. I've worked closely with US folks for 30 + years. But never dated one.
A friend on a cruise ship wondered why this American girl suddenly dropped him when he said he would "knock her up in the morning"
In 42 yrs of marriage to my late wife I can honestly say that I never missed her birthdays or our anniversary once and she would go crook if I was extravagant in her presents Christmas was the same She always said that she preferred something inexpensive but personal and bought for her and not something we needed for the house or garden . Instead of expensive presents or dates we saved our money and went on exciting holidays . She was known as my missus from the moment my mates met her and.was exsepted by them as the woman I loved and was going to marry , good job they did except her otherwise I would be looking for new mates but generally you are correct if you're not liked as a partner usually you would have problems from mates and family . I was lucky , my mates would have killed for my lady wife .and I felt the same way about all of their partners . We do as Aussies have what's called the tall poppy syndrome its not that we're jealous or envious of successful people it's that we don't like them bragging or flaunting their wealth or status , real class is not expecting people to be impressed but to be impressive without trying . You've already been excepted , I'm sure there's lots of Aussies who agree with me that you'll make a bloody good Aussie as long as you go for NSW in the state of origin and go for Australia in anything competitive between us and the Pommies , keep up the good work
I'm not sure men prefer their wife to be a stay at home wife, certainly not for me. It's nice to be able to provide for my wife so, if she chooses, can be a stay at home mum. But I certainly wouldn't want her to be at home for my own ego.
Bless you - an actual modern man!
You’ve Nailed It.
We are environmentally friendly but often it’s due to the horrific power prices.
4:25 a long walk on the beach carrying the fishing bucket ;)
I feel like all of these point to one thing - our sense of egalitarianism.
No one gets treated badly, no one gets treated special.
You'll never see an aussie in the back seat of a taxi being chauffeured. You jump in the front and call the driver mate
Enjoy your videos and cultural comparisons, very funny and entertaining. Have travelled to the US on a numdet of occasions, enjoying every trip. The best friends Australians have are the Americans. You are the best type of immigrant we could want for Australia. Please send more of your kind to Australia asap....
One I discovered as an Aussie guy living overseas was the shower beer. Apparently thats an Aussie thing.
Why would you not? 😂
Kerry Packer who was a media mogul in Australia and very rich was very fond of gambling he was Vegas playing poker with a group of high rollers one of which was a was a Texas oil millionaire who was bragging about how he was worth 5 million and his oil wells and ranches and so on finally this got on Kerry's nerves and he turned to the guy grabbed a coin from his pocket and said "Flip you for it" was he serious well that's hard to say but Kerry supposedly kept 5 million in gold in his office safe. So he could of covered the bet.
ANZAC tradition. We laugh during war. Life isn't worth living if you can't share a joke.
9:05 Yeah we don't hold back. Even with mates you think it is rude but it is just staking your ground. You know where you stand.
My x girlfriend was moping around and I said go to your room and get over your sh** then come back when your ready. Might be why she is an x but don't be mopey.
Yeah, anniversaries are pretty low key. If you love your missus you will show her everyday 😉
And that's why we invented the helicopter dance
This is EXTREMELY HELPFUL! I swear I have almost wanted to break-up with my Australian boyfriend twice this week but you may have saved us!
One: he gave me (what I perceived as bad attitude) some shit about having the fireplace on in the morning when I was cold.
Two: He is CONSTANTLY flipping me sarcastic and passive-aggressive comments. I hate that last thing as I was raised in an abusive environment and have gone through a lot of therapy to not allow people to disrespect me like that anymore. But that’s the main way he communicates; not abusively but constant correcting me on every little detail but also doing the same for himself and laughing. Lots of laughing.
I am glad I started researching differences between Australians and Americans.
It’s absolutely your relationship however I would suggest that at some point, regardless of these kinds of differences, our partner shouldn’t constantly make you feel uncomfortable and such. A bit of give and take should be required. Look after yourself! 😊
Your partner should be your greatest cheerleader, not someone who tries to make you feel small by disrespecting you. It's your life. Constantly correcting you absoluely IS abusive.
The issue might be his behaviour and not his nationality. Good luck.
You even hear teenagers call their girlfriends their misses
Where do you hear that???
@@Rottnwoman when I was in high school lol
I hear Misso alot too.
The Misso. The Cheese and Kisses. The Better Half. The Other Half.
It takes some time but it's just accepted.
Not because of any grand statements. Not because of a declaration.
Hell, not even because of a marriage.
Just because your mates see it's working, for you, and for everyone else in your social group too. You fit together, and together you fit in.
Although it’s amazing for a man to spoil you with materialistic things, most Aussie women prefer something more simple, more genuine and sincere gestures and mementos then flowered that die or expensive something that if you lose will be a bone of contention.
I know I’d rather a love language that lasts than a superficial show of one’s relationship
1:27 Had no idea this even existed lol.
Yeah, 100% on the Mrs reference.
one thing about aussie guys...they are not conventionally romantic...but if you want a decent, reliable fella and a relationship based on mutual respect, leavened with humour .. well aussie men are the best... they may not offer many flowers...but they will be mowing the lawn on Saturday and heading up the Barbie for friends and family on Sunday...the men in my family will not win any prizes for being flash.. but they are there when you need them...
mm, i think i would feel very comfortable in Australia, I like those minds
Another way of putting the 'Australian men are honest and say it like it is' thing might be to say that we are direct... we don't really pussy foot around the subject and won't really sugar coat things, you are right... we are very direct 👍.... in the words of P!nk... no bullshit! (When asked why she and Australia/Australians love each other so much)🙂👍
I've found the sense of pride thing in "my wife stays at home" wears off as they get older and realise that having help to bring in the income and also being there as the children grow is more important. I also resolved years ago that I wouldn't rely on someone else for my income. My husband is my biggest supporter, If i want that promotion, he'll be there with the pom poms to cheer me on. He also doesn't care that I earn way more than him, i think that comes with age and maturity because at the end of the day we share, but also know that we can support ourselves if anything bad happened.
3:48 a good breakfast goes a long way.
1,2,3 I completely disagree with. These are totally ip to the guy your dating. Maybe the difference is your not shamed here if your not a romantic but there are definitely romantics here in Australia.
I’ve known millionaire business owners that still have a beer with their workers. If your wife is a stay at home mum it’s reassuring to know your kids are in good hands.
I remember watching the world surf championships years ago when an American won the world surfing championship
Kelly Slatter
Aussie
Mark Occolupo came second
Kelly went waffling on for a long time about his win and what he was going to do with his winnings
Occi didn’t say much just
I dunno what I’m gunna do with my winnings
7:16 nah when they can walk and eat smoko then they go to work. They take time off for school ;) My Father used to pick me up after school to crawl through ceilings. Then other days it was fishing. I had a great childhood. I didn't know I was working.
No wonder my daughter fell for an American guy
Great video! I’d be interested to hear your perspective on the recent election and democratic culture in Australia, without any need to comment on partisan politics. What did you make of “democracy sausage” fundraiser barbecues, people’s reluctance to talk politics socially, the relatively low-key political advertising? I’m guessing this might have been a contrast to the states.
Expect your Australian partner to have friends of the opposite gender, long term friends at that.
You're right
Can we talk
This Aussie bloke liked and subbed.
On the "Tall Poppy Syndrome". You know you are a leader when you look over your shoulder to discover others following you. If you feel the need to call yourself the leader, then you are deluded.
Similarly, we are often bewildered by the idea of Limos. The US folks seem to be impressed by the idea of riding in one. To the Aussie, they are long, hard to maneuver, inconvenient & pretentious.
I doubt anyone would run the risk of being in a deep philosophical conversation with you Dear.
Once someone reaches 'Mark's Missus' that is a Status in our culture. You'll be treated as well as Mark in the community.
‘The community’
Ive bern an australian since i was born 69 years ago. Ive never met any australian male who takes huge pride in having a stay at home wife, the odd mysogynist might want thst but not take pride in it. Most guys couldnt care less whether either of them work or not. The only reason to work is money so you can enjoy your life
Tall Poppy Syndrome is always paired with the Underdog Phenomenon. People in Australia like to get behind the underdog and propel them upwards but if they get too full of themselves too quickly without merit, they get chopped back down to size. This ensures that the people at the top are truly great, are deserving of being there and appreciate their position. Some of the most beloved people in Australia exhibit this. Such as John Farnham, Jimmy Barnes, Kylie Minogue and etc.
And now i just want an Australian boo and to move to Australia hahah. Great vid 😂
11:52 Fish and chips on the beach. Windy nights aren't fun Pick your weather.
That is all so correct you really did the homework.
👍🤠 ✔✔✔✔✔✔
14:09 For 3 years or more now I have a 24v solar lighting system that can run around the clock. No sense in waste. Don't take what you don't need.
I consider it a point of pride that I never once gave anyone anything for Valentines.
I made a big deal about 25th, and 40th wedding anniversary. Others we go out to dinner but often on a different day to our anniversary due to our life schedule
My motto was always “you can’t pay someone to love your kids”
You pretty well nailed how Aussie men are, some of your options are close to the mark....but generally we are a laid back bunch of blokes, who tell it how it is.... better to be honest from the start than lie like a pig in shit. You have done well. Thankyou Caitlyn 👏👍💪🇦🇺 Brisbane bound.
10:26 Pick an older Aussie anything goes. We have our friends sorted when we get older so no judgement.
When you are older they say your hitting above your weight don't stuff this up.
'The Missus', and when you are older it becomes 'She who must be obeyed'.
#9 spot on lol
You're "G'day " is sounding real native.
Your experience about stay at home mums may be a youth view. I don't think stay at home mothers are pulling their weight. I worked full time with 2 kids and a working hubby - it gave me satisfaction, good pay, a career and excellent super and 2 great independent kids.
Ok, so when do we get Mark’s take on dating an American woman? 😉😁
Let's talk if you don't mind
Tall poppy syndrome isn't about status or success, and it's not even really about bragging. It's really just all about the way people behave towards others, especially those less fortunate. If someone treats anyone else as if they're below them, they'll get cut down. We will judge people not on how much money they have, or their belongings, or their social status, but on how they treat other people. Aussies can and will brag about things, bragging is fine, they'll get ribbed for it, but not in a harmful nasty way... so long as they're not behaving as if whatever they're bragging about makes them better than anyone else, or more accurately, makes other people worth less than them.
Anniversary?.... Isn't that ANZAC day????? Celebrity.???? mmmm, Peter Brock.?????... Special event????? Barbie / BBQ. Date??? BBQ!!!!
Dating horror stories...Sounds like future content hahahahaha
Can't agree with the pride about stay at home mums. I brag about my partner's success and their career but i get it, it's not universal. It is a good indicator that they've got young kids though,
Would say as a whole; holidays are very lowkey compared to the USA. Even Australia day, is easily the most enthusiastic celebrated day in straya; is basically a lazy day at the beach compared to madness of July 4th in the USA or Bonfire night in the UK. From the east midlands, former expat in California, yanks definitely love their holidays more than most. But for most aussies; holidays is mostly just another day to relax and grill.. Also you are bloody mad if you think they are think aussies are any more eco-conscious than yanks when they're not paying the bill. lol
Missus = Significant Other. On track to a full-time time position 😉😄
An excellent discription. As Aussies, my wife and I noticed the amount of waste (i.e. packaging of products etc) that occurs in the states during our per-covid travels every year. We have driven thru all states in the continental USA. Drought is a very serious problem here in Australia, water shortages can strike Queensland (and even Melbourne). Droughts can last 10 years. Maybe that explains why we have become water concious. The US has a much larger population, hence more competition in businesses to keep costs down, something Australia lacks. Seen how much electricity prices have jumped the last 12 months?
Deep philosophical conversations without laughter sound false to me.
The mrs thing did have me laughing