Recently I've had so many interesting sessions talking about relationships and I thought I'd share some of my reflections. Bit of a new topic so let me know if you like this type of content and also if you have any red flaggy flags in dating! 🚩
Loveee this video its so accurate! Been trying to break this pattern of mine. Instant sparks really often are a red flag and some type of anxiety 🫠 last time it has proven to be a person that activated toxic schemas of the past, making me feel neglected / emotionally abandoned. Now I have a new problem: I feel 0 attraction to 'consistent' guys physically. So idk what now 😅
this is such a great and timely video! this is something i learned recently through a somewhat recent friendship breakup. the difference between chemistry and compatibility is something people need to know more about. applying it to future connections, platonic or non-platonic, it makes me excited to experience the beauty and honor that goes into taking the time to get to know someone slowly and letting the connection evolve from there. feels much more secure! (which is great for a person with anxious attachment like myself :) )
This was really interesting and insightful! Enjoyed learning about schema-activation & the role of our early models of love in our romantic preferences. I'd love to see similar content from you - you seem to also really enjoy them :)
Oh this is so lovely, thank you! They are so fun honestly like I'm having a sit down with some mates and chatting about a cool new model I'm learning about
The schema being something like the romantic connection is reminiscent of a prior trauma bond? But to the person maybe it seems it'll work this time. Is it chemistry or is it a trauma bond asserting itself? To be fair, it can feel like the romance is also going to heal that prior trauma, which in the moment feels like a win-win.
Actually that's so interesting- that maybe the hope that "this time it's going to be different" can make a new but unhealthy partner even more attractive.
@@thepsychdiaries I just watched it and the intro and outro are adorable! Lots of people love the good old Aussie accent :) And the research and referencing was really good (I am an Australian psych honours student - so I may be a bit biased). I reckon you should leave it up, it's bonza!
Respectfully, I think your point at 12:45 is a little bit short-sighted. Our ancestors have reproduced for billions of years, and the vast majority of humans today can raise children that can raise children etc. I’m not sure if maybe you’re a bit skewed due to the nature of your work and seeing people who have problems with relationships (and consequently ultimately problems with successfully raising children), but in an evolutionary sense, these peoples’ issues wouldn’t carry on into the gene pool anyway, and that would be the end of that. It is an absolutely fundamental part of our genetic makeup that we will find compatible people (without thinking about it much) to reproduce with, and while some people will have issues with this (because of various reasons like child-parent relationships and other reasons you outlined), most of us will get along just fine. Essentially, what I’m saying is evolution would take care of these things one way or another anyway, or else we wouldn’t be here in the first place. However, I’m not at all invalidating your job, quite to the contrary, I believe your work extends the proportion of people who can successfully raise children, which is wonderful for humans, because with knowledge and science we can overcome many previous barriers to leading healthy and enthusiastic lives.
Recently I've had so many interesting sessions talking about relationships and I thought I'd share some of my reflections. Bit of a new topic so let me know if you like this type of content and also if you have any red flaggy flags in dating! 🚩
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
U always have such an amazing concept for psychologically inspired
#mentalhealthmatters
I’m a secure and I accept respect, stability and peace. if they don’t bring me peace but chaos then I know this is not what I want.
Loveee this video its so accurate! Been trying to break this pattern of mine. Instant sparks really often are a red flag and some type of anxiety 🫠 last time it has proven to be a person that activated toxic schemas of the past, making me feel neglected / emotionally abandoned. Now I have a new problem: I feel 0 attraction to 'consistent' guys physically. So idk what now 😅
this is such a great and timely video! this is something i learned recently through a somewhat recent friendship breakup. the difference between chemistry and compatibility is something people need to know more about. applying it to future connections, platonic or non-platonic, it makes me excited to experience the beauty and honor that goes into taking the time to get to know someone slowly and letting the connection evolve from there. feels much more secure! (which is great for a person with anxious attachment like myself :) )
This is so beautiful thank you for sharing ♥️
@@thepsychdiaries 🤍
Great information Ro. Love this content 👏
Great timing, ro! Thanks for the wonderful explanations 😊
I love this topic! Thank you soooo much for talking about it! ❤
Really enjoyed this video, as always! :)
This was really interesting and insightful! Enjoyed learning about schema-activation & the role of our early models of love in our romantic preferences. I'd love to see similar content from you - you seem to also really enjoy them :)
Oh this is so lovely, thank you! They are so fun honestly like I'm having a sit down with some mates and chatting about a cool new model I'm learning about
You explained this so well thank you so much!
Thank you, psych. Great content. Hope your content n channel will expand!❤ Love you!❤️🔥
I super love this content!
Thank you for this. I struggle to have chemistry with women, it’s good to know it isn’t everything.
Omg that videos going to awesome..and thanks for passing your knowledge on to others❤
I love your videos, give us more ❤
Well said ❤
What an interesting topic! I like it
That is super accurate.
The schema being something like the romantic connection is reminiscent of a prior trauma bond? But to the person maybe it seems it'll work this time. Is it chemistry or is it a trauma bond asserting itself? To be fair, it can feel like the romance is also going to heal that prior trauma, which in the moment feels like a win-win.
Actually that's so interesting- that maybe the hope that "this time it's going to be different" can make a new but unhealthy partner even more attractive.
Great video!
Thanks you ....personal truths and clarity is everything. # redflags 🚩
Hey, Really Nice Video! I was wondering if I could Help You Edit Your Videos and Make Highly Engaging Shorts Out Of Them.
Did you upload the ‘5 factors of attraction’ video you mentioned? I bet it’s not as cringe as you think!
Yes well I haven't remembered to make it back on private yet 🙈
@@thepsychdiaries I just watched it and the intro and outro are adorable! Lots of people love the good old Aussie accent :) And the research and referencing was really good (I am an Australian psych honours student - so I may be a bit biased). I reckon you should leave it up, it's bonza!
❤
Respectfully, I think your point at 12:45 is a little bit short-sighted. Our ancestors have reproduced for billions of years, and the vast majority of humans today can raise children that can raise children etc. I’m not sure if maybe you’re a bit skewed due to the nature of your work and seeing people who have problems with relationships (and consequently ultimately problems with successfully raising children), but in an evolutionary sense, these peoples’ issues wouldn’t carry on into the gene pool anyway, and that would be the end of that.
It is an absolutely fundamental part of our genetic makeup that we will find compatible people (without thinking about it much) to reproduce with, and while some people will have issues with this (because of various reasons like child-parent relationships and other reasons you outlined), most of us will get along just fine.
Essentially, what I’m saying is evolution would take care of these things one way or another anyway, or else we wouldn’t be here in the first place.
However, I’m not at all invalidating your job, quite to the contrary, I believe your work extends the proportion of people who can successfully raise children, which is wonderful for humans, because with knowledge and science we can overcome many previous barriers to leading healthy and enthusiastic lives.