How the Narcissist Uses Delay Against You

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 7 ก.ค. 2024
  • #narcissist #narcissism #hgtudor
    HG Tudor explains to you the various ways the narcissist uses delay against you and why this is done.
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    Email : narcissist1909@gmail.com

ความคิดเห็น • 166

  • @D.A.Toaster
    @D.A.Toaster 15 วันที่ผ่านมา +197

    One of the most difficult things about separating from unaware narcissists is that it is so clear they meant what they said. It took a long time for me to learn they mean it in the moment, not moving forward. Take your time getting to know people. Train yourself to trust what they do, not what they say.

    • @ZYX54321
      @ZYX54321 15 วันที่ผ่านมา +5

      Did it really feel like they meant what they said, or did you not see them biting the inside of their cheek..😐

    • @D.A.Toaster
      @D.A.Toaster 15 วันที่ผ่านมา

      @@ZYX54321 In a perfect world you would be right. He wouldn't have been able to convincingly mimic empathy.
      My first narcissist turned out to be the Popular Psychology version we're all better able to understand and identify. He was grandiose, handsome, unusually intelligent , over educated, professionally and financially successful. I thought he taught me everything I needed to know about narcissists.
      My second nice guy narcissist fit a vulnerable, covert personality style. I had never previously heard about this defense mechanism. He was very confusing, much more difficult to suss out. He was initially calm, kind and unusually helpful. A very good listener, but I struggled to get him to open up about himself. He never really did.
      Over time I learned the care and compassion I initially believed he possessed was simply him mirroring me. Once he almost burst into tears and blurted out 'I don't want anybody else.' He meant it in that moment, so in answer to your question, yes. His cognitive empathy felt real at the time. It was too soon for such a declaration, but I felt both flattered and sorry for him.
      Hindsight is helpful.
      Things to be alert to with Nice Guy Narcissists include a desire to infantilize you and be your hero. I always felt like he wanted me to behave like a lovestruck teenager. He called me his Amish friend because I don't date much and have nothing to do with social media. It grated to feel like he was only approving of me if I played the dumb damsel in distress. He was willing to help me, but angry when I offered to help him. He was full of pity parties. His past relationships had all allegedly ended with him as the victim of women who took advantage of his good nature.
      There was no possibility for a reciprocal relationship between equals. Thankfully, I moved on within a couple years. It hurt like hell.

    • @OnsKleinGezinnetje
      @OnsKleinGezinnetje 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +12

      I’m teaching my kids this. Look what people do, not what they promise.

    • @PureBlood-TV-Official
      @PureBlood-TV-Official 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

      Yes 🎉

    • @lorishu48103
      @lorishu48103 13 วันที่ผ่านมา +7

      They degrade words. Normal healthy people don’t need to be manipulative.

  • @marcelroy6034
    @marcelroy6034 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +74

    Interesting to note that a Narcissist will typically not accept delay from anyone else 😂

    • @nickieglazer7065
      @nickieglazer7065 10 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

      Living together and are running late b/c he is taking forever to get ready.
      Me: Waiting fairly patiently
      Him (finally ready): 'C'MON!!'
      as he walks to the door.
      🙄🤦

  • @annaa6259
    @annaa6259 15 วันที่ผ่านมา +91

    This makes so much sense. The more you chase for them to act right the more crazy you get. Indifference is the key.

    • @CC-pu6qn
      @CC-pu6qn 12 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      Many still don’t stop, they harass even when you don’t respond.

    • @angelwings7930
      @angelwings7930 5 วันที่ผ่านมา

      The one I know acts like I’m the problem when I talk about the sh*^ HE perpetuates. It’s unreal. I told him he’s got quite a gig going on.

    • @pmarkhill519
      @pmarkhill519 วันที่ผ่านมา

      @@annaa6259 absolutely

  • @colleenbrown3366
    @colleenbrown3366 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +62

    It's truly amazing how much damage these people do to your life.

  • @justanopinion_really
    @justanopinion_really 15 วันที่ผ่านมา +65

    Narcissists, they a keen at trying to get you in their grasp, then use you carelessly, and feel victimized if you leave them.

    • @motowngirl5891
      @motowngirl5891 5 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      They know what they are doing, they know why you are gone

  • @rhondawalker2020
    @rhondawalker2020 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +53

    I had the upper hand for the first time!
    My house was in a special needs trust for my disabled son, my car was in my name only, the furniture was mine, he was a mooch and didn't pay living expenses. When he didn't respond to the divorce decree on time, my attorney went on without his answers. He refused to leave my house, entitlement..
    So the Judge signed the divorce decree, and it was settled! He refused to leave my house! So, I had him evicted! He had 10 days to pack up and leave! Yeah, he did a lot of damage to my house. Then he moved across the street from my house to mooch off the neighbor who was a member of the cotery, sp? He lived there for 3 long years, grrrrrrr! Then he kicked the bucket, and I'm free! Woo-hoo!
    Thank you, HG!

    • @nin9249
      @nin9249 13 วันที่ผ่านมา +5

      Role reversal, i had disabilities and he coaxed me to move in saying he wanted to marry. When i didnt perform sexual acts for him he threatened to evict me, so i would make arrangements to find somewhere to stay, then he would deny saying it and call me mad. I ended up recording him doing it every time he tried to make me do the sexual acts. One year later still no conviction.

    • @rhondawalker2020
      @rhondawalker2020 12 วันที่ผ่านมา

      @@nin9249 dang, that's really awful 😖. Hugs 🫂

    • @mr.melontoyou
      @mr.melontoyou 9 วันที่ผ่านมา

      @@nin9249police are useless!
      I’m so sorry you endured that disgusting behaviour !

  • @lynemac2539
    @lynemac2539 15 วันที่ผ่านมา +32

    The term "Best friend" and "Unconditional love" are red flags. My mother warned me about those.

  • @kimberlywind2418
    @kimberlywind2418 15 วันที่ผ่านมา +63

    “ You are the ideal woman” until you are not. Lol

    • @dianeclayton4936
      @dianeclayton4936 7 วันที่ผ่านมา +6

      Also, the love of their life.

  • @kauffrau6764
    @kauffrau6764 15 วันที่ผ่านมา +38

    My Narc boyfriend was a master of future faking combined with mirroring. Ah, the future was a sight to behold! Fortunately I was spared the devaluation period; he simply ghosted me and disappeared.

    • @thequeenofselfcare
      @thequeenofselfcare 12 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      I cant get out

    • @sandyno1089
      @sandyno1089 9 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      @@thequeenofselfcare You can. I thought I couldn't get out but I did, after 25 years. I'm happy now, remarried and happy. Get help, get out. 🥰🥰🥰🥰

    • @mr.melontoyou
      @mr.melontoyou 9 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      @@thequeenofselfcare you deserve too get out! You are worth it! ❤

  • @remembermyname718
    @remembermyname718 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +26

    Delay is the prelude to discarding

  • @wildblue0
    @wildblue0 15 วันที่ผ่านมา +37

    That explains so much about my Dad. Everything was "we'll do it next time".

    • @bunnyboo6295
      @bunnyboo6295 10 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      and next time never comes their is always an excuse they are in a rush self-absorbed.

    • @wildblue0
      @wildblue0 10 วันที่ผ่านมา

      @@bunnyboo6295 Exactly. Every summer I asked to go to the local amusement park starting as soon as I could read the sign (4ish). Every summer he said "Other Park is better. We'll go there after our vacation." After vacation it was "We spent all our money on vacation. We'll have to go next year." Repeat. When I was 15, Other Park was permanently closing. He decided he had to go take photos of it. Mom nagged him into taking me. He gave me 10 minutes to call 1 friend to come along. She didn't answer so I went alone. We get there and he refuses to go on any rides with me. Then he decides to yell at me for not having fun and we leave after 1.5 hours.

    • @mr.melontoyou
      @mr.melontoyou 9 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      To be fair to dads they are busy working and paying bills. And are stressed via the economy rah rah rah. But, i get the same treatment. You are not alone. Im sorry hes too busy to spend time with you if you were my kid id mean what i say- your father’s not a man of his words- stop allowing him to continue to let you down- know what to expect. 😢much love to you ❤

  • @user-kv9gs8kb6m
    @user-kv9gs8kb6m 12 วันที่ผ่านมา +12

    This is an exact Narcissists reaction, and how they role reversal for reactive as abuse and a way to clear their name, their actions.
    The stall and delay game makes them feel superior, buys them time to try and convince you that you need to blame yourself.

  • @D.A.Toaster
    @D.A.Toaster 15 วันที่ผ่านมา +29

    Keep Annie No Knickers in your prayers. Wish her well from a safe distance.

  • @catedee5012
    @catedee5012 15 วันที่ผ่านมา +18

    I didn’t realize this was related to narcissism. My ex did this all the time. We had a babysitter who came on Saturday evenings. He would not come out of his studio for an hour or more after she came every time. He also did it with outings we planned with the children. He would not be ready to leave until a couple of hours after the scheduled time.

    • @Fishsticks007
      @Fishsticks007 12 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

      Totally narc games: being late, making others wait, making others late. Not showing up, terrible excuses. Etc. rescheduling then doing it again.

  • @wittymystic7361
    @wittymystic7361 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +16

    I once dated a narcissist who promised he'd buy me a new fancy dress if I would attend a wedding with him for his family member. He told me to go to the mall, pick one out, and then let him know which dress I wanted so he could pay for it. I told him it would be much easier to give me the money before I went to the mall, but he said, "Why should I give you money if you don't find anything?" Well, I did find something, but then he delayed going to the mall to pick up the dress, and by the time we returned to the mall, the dress was gone. Of course, the wedding was the next day. We argued because he still expected me to attend the wedding despite not fulfilling his promise to buy me a new dress. Once I had attended the wedding, I reminded him that he still owed me a new dress, but he said I had no need for a new dress now that the wedding was over. I broke up with him a few weeks after that.

    • @jabo2168
      @jabo2168 13 วันที่ผ่านมา +5

      Smart woman

    • @bunnyboo6295
      @bunnyboo6295 10 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      and it would never been an issue if he never promised you likely would have picked up that dress you wanted are used one you had without the stress of running around then coming up to the deadline unprepared to what you were wearing.

    • @wittymystic7361
      @wittymystic7361 10 วันที่ผ่านมา +4

      @@bunnyboo6295 Exactly! It was all a game. He just wanted to mess with my mind.

  • @spacegirl226
    @spacegirl226 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +14

    Delay was my ex husband's favorite tactic. Even though he wanted the divorce, I told him he would have to pay for it. We separated, and I got out of his hair, like he wanted so he could move Annie No Knickers in my place. He delayed for nearly a year and had not saved any money to pay for the divorce that HE wanted. So I did it for him, and honestly I'm surprised he didn't delay signing the papers and sending them back, but Annie was there so he needed to be completely free of me to marry her and start the abuse cycle all over again. He is such a piece of garbage that I knew his delay tactic was so I would pay for everything.
    Now he's out of my hair forever, and I'm in a much better place than I would have been if I had kept endlessly trying to make things work with someone who didn't want them to.
    Thank you, HG, for bringing us this vital information.

    • @bunnyboo6295
      @bunnyboo6295 10 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Hmm so why bother did you need it final he was the one trying to marry why not ghost him instead leaving him in a bind forcing him to make the move if he wanted to

  • @dishonest-corset4942
    @dishonest-corset4942 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +12

    This explains why when I would ask my mum to watch a movie with me, she would start hoovering or speaking on the phone to her friend… me asking that must have threatened her control

  • @Seanus32
    @Seanus32 15 วันที่ผ่านมา +17

    Spot on @HG Tudor. Really nailed it here. 7 months after the divorce before she finally buggered off out of the flat. A walking disaster of an individual.

  • @MeMe-mt6xv
    @MeMe-mt6xv วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    Once met a therapist who was a single 30 year old woman who said that she NEVER waits for anyone who is not where they said they would be. As a TRUTH SEEKER EMPATH, I found that harsh. But, now I know it was appropriate! ❤

  • @Agheel963
    @Agheel963 15 วันที่ผ่านมา +17

    HG spot on narc in my life used to do that ALWAYS never turned up and kept me waiting. Finally when they showed up not even an excuse or reason when questioned all they would say im here now.

    • @OnsKleinGezinnetje
      @OnsKleinGezinnetje 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      Exactly. Same. They went to the same school all these narcs….

    • @Fishsticks007
      @Fishsticks007 12 วันที่ผ่านมา

      @@OnsKleinGezinnetje it’s a mental illness and they all have the same playbook. Narcissistic personality disorder. The good news is none of it is personal… the bad news is none of it is personal including the good stuff that they told you… it’s all lies!

  • @larshesthaven5828
    @larshesthaven5828 11 วันที่ผ่านมา +13

    Get out of the narcs dark dungeon...there is nothing but dangerous dragons inside the narcs sick mind...run to the hills and stay away for good

  • @YouilAushana
    @YouilAushana 15 วันที่ผ่านมา +23

    Then they tell you you aren't patient. Controlling the narrative and optics of situation.

    • @sandyno1089
      @sandyno1089 9 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Always on a promise.👿

  • @melissaking6019
    @melissaking6019 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +8

    My narc relative uses time to exert power and control over others. She is habitually late to every event - funerals, work meetings, parties, appointments, you name it. Nobody calls her out on it because she does this primarily to her coterie who blindly worship her. Her chronic tardiness used to drive me mad, but now I have a no contact policy so the problem is non-existent.

    • @Fishsticks007
      @Fishsticks007 12 วันที่ผ่านมา

      So many people let people get away with it. My most hated statement: “ oh that’s just Jane, being Jane” - as if that makes it ok.

  • @Bianca2802
    @Bianca2802 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +8

    Wow, perfect explanation 🎉 i was married to a unaware narcissist and although we got engaged within some months ,it took him years to finally organize the wedding, and there were a lot of on and offs in our relationship. Finally he only married me because he was afraid to loose me forever because i wanted to relocate to another country. Yes,it was not about love,it was about control.

  • @Antonia90..
    @Antonia90.. 12 วันที่ผ่านมา +6

    This explanation is almost exact of a man I met the damage these type of people cause is massive

  • @mimiwhoo
    @mimiwhoo 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +13

    You forgot to mention that if your pal kept you waiting and you end up confronting them or being agitated they will turn it back on you and find a reason to be angry with you for being angry with them.

  • @1WhoCares
    @1WhoCares 15 วันที่ผ่านมา +22

    Thank-you, HG!! Having been in the court process for 7 years now with my own narcissist ex - and supporting an empath friend during her family law case - I am only too familiar with how the narc uses delay. (The best one was, at the eleventh hour before our final order, my ex contested paternity, causing the judge to have to halt her decision and adjourn our matter while the testing was done.) I really appreciate this informative video.
    I have to add that, on occasion, the narcissist's court delay is in your favour - for example, my ex cannot currently be arsed to pick up the phone and restart the process for his access visits with his son. But, you know, he "loves" his son and would "do anything" to have more time with him.

  • @davidcharlton6170
    @davidcharlton6170 15 วันที่ผ่านมา +6

    My late father was a middle-lesser Narcissist and everything was always "I will do it tomorrow" ...This video is frighteningly accurate.
    Thank you so much for this channel, Sir HG Tudor.

  • @SkylarK_x_bk_0
    @SkylarK_x_bk_0 15 วันที่ผ่านมา +12

    A truly excellent, insightful and informative video. It explains several narcissists in my past "delaying" processes to suit their "purposes" (prime aims, control, fuel). Such is the value of understanding, in order to be able to recognise the "patterns" of narcissists behavours. Thank you for this piece of work HG, much appreciated 💟

  • @miller5170
    @miller5170 5 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    These people have sooooo many ways to make people miserable meanwhile they are also subconsciously miserable

  • @Tasja_Fox
    @Tasja_Fox 15 วันที่ผ่านมา +15

    It is very frustrating to deal with this.

    • @jenm6387
      @jenm6387 15 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      SOOOOOOOO TRUE!!!!!

  • @meredith2803
    @meredith2803 12 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    Annie no knickers 😂, you crack me up HG. My ex could have led classes in delay.

  • @janetjackson8574
    @janetjackson8574 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

    This brings back so so many bad memories when i was engaged with my ex narc.. But once again HG made me laugh with the line :- chatting up and flirting with "Annie no knickers" 😂 Thanks HG ❤️

  • @MargaretM-vd7bb
    @MargaretM-vd7bb 15 วันที่ผ่านมา +4

    You gave a lot of Valuable Information away in this Video HG, Very generous of you. Thankyou for sharing.❤️🌻

  • @rosaliethomas5812
    @rosaliethomas5812 13 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

    They are infuriating..my ex 'friend" did this until I finally saw through what was going on.. disgusting and I don't want anyone like that in my life again!

  • @sarahwagland1559
    @sarahwagland1559 12 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    I needed to hear this two years ago so I would have got tougher with my solicitor. I kept telling him that my narc neighbours had no case and to take them to court but he pussy footed around repeatedly telling me that he knew best. After two years he threatened them with court only after they really pissed him off with a rude, arrogant, demanding email and they immediately crumbled. I complained to my solicitor and asked for my money back as he had wasted our time by not listening to us. The solicitors have delayed in responding so I've had to report them to the ombudsman! Narcissists everywhere, including solicitors! If you're confident that you're in the right you have to take a sledgehammer to them. It's all they understand.

  • @WitchWithin
    @WitchWithin 15 วันที่ผ่านมา +6

    Yes , I deal with this with their friends once, they feel that like you got what they think is enough attention or think their decisions are better than yours; your input doesn't matter and will leave or make your decision for you without a word to you.
    They put me in some situations where I needed their help to get around all the while saying they will be right there then go off with their friends and get wasted leaving me in a place I couldn't get around in or go to the bathroom ..
    Then, when I said I wanted to get out . They would say I offered to take you to Fred's and you said no.
    I had to except their friend as mine . Anytime, my events started becoming routine they will make up excesses. for them not taking me or not being around the friends I love..

  • @terrielvwl
    @terrielvwl 13 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    Absolutely true. Our counselor gave him a reaon for his delay. Im asking too much from him. He has nothing he is responsible for because I can't trust him to get it done. Its very difficult living with this.

    • @jabo2168
      @jabo2168 13 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Tell him you don’t expect anything else from
      Him. Throw his clothes into bags. Place them out by the bins. Change the locks on the house. Buy a new phone. He no longer has to
      Meet others expectations of him. Bye bye

  • @rosalynmoyle3766
    @rosalynmoyle3766 13 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    This explains so much with the two I have been exposed to in my life. Another piece of the jigsaw. Thank you HG.

  • @disdroid
    @disdroid 15 วันที่ผ่านมา +4

    It can work both ways - you can stack up the things they're going to get in return when they eventually do X.
    My futures are only fake if yours are.

  • @perezlyn
    @perezlyn 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    A narcissist is the most evil human being you could meet . The narcissist "pretends" to be loving and kind but behind the person is planning her next way to hurt the victim,by division and alienation worse if it's done to a child. I wonder what she might be doing with those actor kids. Maybe promising things that are never going to happen. Because the victim is bad not good enough a let down at every chance.

  • @crankypantsmcduff
    @crankypantsmcduff 15 วันที่ผ่านมา +7

    The ex took 5 months for his first court statement to be in, then he did it again for his second statement, he took 3 months. He's still losing but he's still pushing his rubbish. It's entertaining to watch tbh lol.

  • @CalloCallay
    @CalloCallay 15 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    Exactly this happened with monotonous regularity throughout the relationship.

  • @DutchJoan
    @DutchJoan 15 วันที่ผ่านมา +5

    Very informative!

  • @carolclowes2221
    @carolclowes2221 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    Once you know you cant unknow
    Red flags show easily once you know
    The ex narc never love bombed me, i would have felt that so cringey and alarming even before i knew
    It moved at a normal pace although there were red flags in things he said right from start, the first silent treatment 3 months in
    So glad im now narc aware and wont let thsse parasites anywhere near me

  • @rachaelb.
    @rachaelb. 13 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    This is very helpful, thank you.

  • @kimberlywind2418
    @kimberlywind2418 15 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

    “ You are the ideal woman” until you are not. lol Mine did press marriage and delivered and he calmed down a lot after, jealousy was diminished….but ask me if he lived up to what was expected for marriage.

  • @MB-px7ml
    @MB-px7ml 12 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    Excellent information thank you

  • @mr.melontoyou
    @mr.melontoyou 9 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    The worst part about mine was that i knew what he was hes done everything youve mentioned and how sad i dont have a support network around me to help me get rid of the guy. He broke into my home called it romantic yet came into my house my bedroom with anger all cos i didn’t answer the phone cos, he was being rude already. I wanted him gone i felt alone and unsafe and scared so i gave into his patronising ways and he assaulted me in my own home and bedroom. I did not want him as to go so far cos, he wasnt getting the picture to tell him that hes ugly and im not attracted to him and that still didnt defer him on hos quest to destroy my life. Hed say i was his girl and id reply im not im sleeping with other people. Which he abused me over. This psychopath thought i was his property and he got away with it too cos, i had no one to help me. I said id call the police and was abused over that too. I became suppressed and ‘his’ as he further emotionally manipulated me and abused me i become weaker and weaker in my strength to fight him off. And essentially gave in to his demands over me. I started tripping over things accidentally breaking things out of being a nervous wreck. And then when he was done abusing me using me and harassing my life he said it was over that he was breaking up with me. Its taken me a good six months of sleeping, resting and eating to process what the f’ just happened to me. An absolute tyrant entered my life- the only way i can make ppl understand what i went through is to tell them; imagine i came into your life and knew nothing about you, your family, your friends, your goals your dreams and plans. Said you were mine if you said no i abused you and demanded you be with me even asking you to marry me within weeks of knowing me and then just abused you and dumped you. I feel so betrayed by humanity i cant even look anyone in the eyes- people literally make me feel like throwing up. I feel physically ill. Not one single one of my so called friends who i did emotionally support were there for me. Not my parents. Not anyone! Not even hes parents would step in when he would scream and yell at me. And of course i am to blame for his abuse from their point of view even though he yells and screams at them too. I hate my life. I am trying my hardest to make it better but, I’ve seriously given up now- i dont even bother putting a sheet on my mattress anymore I’ve completely just given up. These ppl suck you dry of any light and joy. Be careful who you chose to even go on a date with cos, my “date” ended up stealing 2 years of my life and a further now 6-7 months recovering. In saying that i am getting better but, i dont ever want to be happy again cos, these ppl want that happiness.
    Bless all you non narcissists- i prey you never even ever have to endure what I’ve experienced.

  • @jackiep5009
    @jackiep5009 15 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

    He said he had a lawyer on Memorial Day so I got one. Here we are at Forth of July and just now he is telling my lawyer that he is just now GOING to get one. Pray that I am paid by Labor Day. Lol

  • @annakarenina3188
    @annakarenina3188 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    Thank you HG, this confused me so much: felt so push-pull -- it was dizzying.... Sometimes moving hyper-fast through relationship milestones, other times felt pushed away. Then pulled into thier hyper-fast situation, then pushed away again.... It's immensely confusing, and still can't get my head around the inconsistencies, trying to guess how they want things to be this week, or left feeling not enough/not good enough -- as it's pick up, put down, rinse & repeat.

    • @portalofwonder
      @portalofwonder 9 วันที่ผ่านมา

      yep. that’s how it is with them. exactly that way. hot and cold forever back and forth. they dangle their love like shiny objects in your face and keep moving it further and further away. unattainable. we can do better

  • @GreenEyesAlsatin
    @GreenEyesAlsatin 15 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    So true! Although in Costa Rica, arriving 15 minutes late is arriving on time (is known as tico time, we are never in a hurry)

  • @brandonoosterlaan4566
    @brandonoosterlaan4566 12 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Yes! we call judgement on them for that! ❤️‍🔥✨🌻🌞

  • @TheRoyalTeaHouse
    @TheRoyalTeaHouse 15 วันที่ผ่านมา +12

    Oh i wish I never moved in with my ex... fucking lockdowns stitched me right up 😂😂😂well the lockdown and the garage that f**k my car engine... i got revenge on both tho!! took a while but settled the scores..

    • @ZYX54321
      @ZYX54321 15 วันที่ผ่านมา

      I have the time to take revenge I just not certain of the avenues to do so if perhaps it is an option and I choose it, I wonder how does it feel when you're successful in your plot?
      If it's monetarily then I understand, this can only help you move forward in your life, other than that I can't figure out what would give me satisfaction to take revenge ..
      Would you explain how it felt ?
      Please ..

    • @TheRoyalTeaHouse
      @TheRoyalTeaHouse 13 วันที่ผ่านมา

      ​@@ZYX54321 The satisfaction comes from getting what was mine back, it's not nice having people taking your happiness, dreams etc away... regardless of the irritation it takes to get there...The best revenge you could ever get is to move on with your life and not look back...if you can take legal action that might help in some situations.. some people make everything as time-consuming as possible so worth thinking over a few times before deciding

  • @madcatter972
    @madcatter972 15 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    This brings back memories. :/

  • @mariacontos2715
    @mariacontos2715 12 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    This is exactly how it has been with my ex narcissistic partner

  • @CamCam-mq6ji
    @CamCam-mq6ji 14 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Spot on as usual 👌🏼

  • @misscheif
    @misscheif 5 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

    Ima explain real quick that this is called a 'dangling carrot' they'll do very less extreme versions of this to keep others in line
    They'll say 'I'm planning on buying my son a car on graduation' then graduation shows up and they'll move the goal post to 'oh you need to work for half of the cost, and they'll move it again with something like 'well you don't really need a car' or 'we don't don't really have space for a second vehicle' which is very typical deadbeat/ cheapskate behavior
    What very specifically narcissist tho is all while preventing you from getting a car yourself they also sabotage you by limiting access to other people cars too, which is crazy, the best reason I can think of is they don't want you to have any security outside of themselves
    Then the idea of what got promised is supposed to get you to keep working toward making them happy so that they'll deliver on that fake promise
    If you have someone like that doing that to you, shut them down immediately with a 'thats sounds really nice, but no thanks, I want it* (*a car, a puppy, a trip to the spa, ect) to be a personal goal for me to earn and not a gift'

  • @MeMe-mt6xv
    @MeMe-mt6xv วันที่ผ่านมา

    Our wedding venue planner/sales person was shocked we actually picked a date, then that we actually paid.
    Then during the divorce, he delayed 4 years. Now, I am entitled to his social security death benefits because we were married over 10 years. I would rather have had a quick and easy divorce. What a waste of time, money, energy.

  • @aknightofcamelot
    @aknightofcamelot 15 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Helpful, helpful.

  • @tanyadeanne164
    @tanyadeanne164 18 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

    "Annie New Knickers", or "Annie No Knickers" whatever it was omg 😂 LOL, Wow. The transcript has it as "Annie New Knockers".

  • @SpunkyToaster
    @SpunkyToaster 15 วันที่ผ่านมา +10

    My special angel took my car on the days I had job interviews. He did it the 2nd time, after I told him to be mindful. Couldn't be reached. Check that out, ladies, isn't he a cutie. He returned home to rage. His reply, sorry I forgot, I'll buy you a computer, which one do you want?"
    I'm curious for comments.😂 throw him under the bus for me.

    • @maryfisher1636
      @maryfisher1636 15 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

      What goes around comes around. Be patient ❤

    • @saymyname2417
      @saymyname2417 15 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Leave right now.

    • @SpunkyToaster
      @SpunkyToaster 15 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      @saymyname2417 OH, that's coming.

    • @saymyname2417
      @saymyname2417 15 วันที่ผ่านมา

      @@SpunkyToaster - That's good. Don't wait. People like this guy are backstabbers and saboteurs and they will never change. All the best to you 💚!
      PS: get things of whatever value out in time before you leave.

    • @saymyname2417
      @saymyname2417 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +4

      @@SpunkyToaster - Idk why my reply to you was offed but don't wait too long. Don't waste time on "vengeance" but rather take precautions and - if possible - remove any precious objects beforehand.
      All the best to you 💚!

  • @BoundariesNOW
    @BoundariesNOW 21 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

    Mine used delay as a form of withholding which I made a video on years ago. I didn't know til watching this video it was basically using delay against me. Very interesting and makes sense. He made me wait so long for a beach day together (every wknd made an excuse), it'd lose its luster when we finally went (my heart felt sore if that makes sense cuz it was hurtful as though he was doing me a huge favor). He knew it was my favorite thing to do but it felt like I was begging til I got to a point I stopped bothering. Yet, if I was 5 min late, he would purposely still be in the shower or have the door locked and not answer, so I'd be the one waiting on him, and/or not say hello to me -- after I drove one hour to him. He would act so sour over me being late. He preferred me waiting on him, I see. I also had an old best friend who did the delay thing too now that I learned of this phrase/tactic. Always making me wait when we were supposed to go out to eat or head off to a lake. They both are always suing people and I think get a high out of it??
    I got to a point, where if the ex prick didn't answer the door within a cpl minutes, I left. And the old best friend when she was late, I went and had a peaceful day at the lake - withhout her.
    Would I bother these days with either of them??? NO. And I DON'T. Good riddance with all these control tactics!!

  • @annakarenina3188
    @annakarenina3188 14 วันที่ผ่านมา

    HG, wish your services were available when my mum was getting divorced from my father: think your help/consultations would have made a huge difference.

  • @Xenophanes198
    @Xenophanes198 11 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    She was ALWAYS late and CONSTANTLY kept me waiting. I'd go over her house bc we had plans to go out and she was still in her robe despite telling me an hour earlier that she was going to start getting ready. Or she'd come to me and was always at least an hour late.

    • @bunnyboo6295
      @bunnyboo6295 10 วันที่ผ่านมา

      The men narc exactly the same then they have you waiting on the couch they will take as long so to miss the plan like mine promised a walk he needed to do certain chores first and it was dark by the time he was done and happen to be the right time for what he wanted that he knew I would have said no to if asked ahead of time. but was in his car didn't know where he was going till got there

  • @Anicca108
    @Anicca108 13 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    If you know who you are, truly (I recommend meditating and following a spiritual path), these people can have absolutely no effect on you. You can see through them immediately.

  • @ZYX54321
    @ZYX54321 15 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    0:22
    Good afternoon H.G.💫

  • @rebeccaconn389
    @rebeccaconn389 11 วันที่ผ่านมา

    “Annie No-knickers” 😂 she would definitely cause a delay !!!
    And, yes, I’ve definitely experienced “delay” with my ex (narcissistic) boyfriend. We are no longer together.
    Go-So!

  • @sarahwagland1559
    @sarahwagland1559 13 วันที่ผ่านมา

    The words "you will hear from our solicitor in due course" are ones I never want to hear again and "we just get on with our lives, we don't know why you don't" when they know they're preventing you from doing so. Sick, twisted, sadistic, miserable, hateful people.

  • @HaleyTylertoo
    @HaleyTylertoo 15 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    I was informed that my narcissistic daughter was making out with other women in a bar. I was shocked because I never thought she was bi-sexual but could this be the love bombing stage when they can adapt to all your wants and wishes? It still brings them attention and fuel regardless.

  • @AngieSainty
    @AngieSainty 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +4

    Hi HG. Thanks for something NOT about Megan bloody Markle! lols

  • @uva3088
    @uva3088 8 วันที่ผ่านมา

    This has to be going on in the Lopez/Affleck divorce and it really must be ramping up due to them both being narcs! He wants the divorce and she can't bear the humiliation so she must be delaying CONSTANTLY! Look at how much she's traveling! She's in Italy, oh wait, SNAP, now she's in NY with Affleck's daughter, she can't possibly sign, she can't possibly announce anything, she's busy traveling and even though her own kids are no where in sight, she managed to hoover one of Affleck's! Waiting on the OFFICIAL DIVORCE ANNOUNCEMENT and after watching this, both Affleck and Lopez are enjoying knowing that everyone is on divorce announcement watch! He'll keep yelling at paparazzi and she'll keep traveling for deflection, inviting Violet along on this roller coaster ride from h---, Violet has no clue she's on! Remember A-Rod's daughters Violet, they are smart, lovely young ladies also and they were quickly tossed overboard when Lopez no longer had any use for them!

  • @bambiklopfer5429
    @bambiklopfer5429 14 วันที่ผ่านมา

    So true.

  • @BrendaBaBoom
    @BrendaBaBoom 12 วันที่ผ่านมา

    The defects of the DELAY tactic amount to a lot of passive aggressive and adhd ineffective behavior …. life’s too short.

  • @hauntedsalmon7931
    @hauntedsalmon7931 11 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Haha! Told a ‘friend’ something happened. They delayed getting back to me until I texted, your loss. I will never tell them about it and ignored the calls. What a loser!

  • @CamFrancisco88
    @CamFrancisco88 7 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Bespoke solution😂❤👏

  • @JmeinKC
    @JmeinKC 12 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Time blindness, AdHd, right brain/left brain or just being a people person could be categorized in these examples as well -it’s not always narcissism per se. Just sharing a different perspective, perhaps intentions and motives are more important to measure?!

  • @Ghettobank69
    @Ghettobank69 11 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Not me!!! You Late, I'M GONE.
    We have a meeting.
    Be There On Time .
    I have other things to do, if not I'll find something to do. I love Reading.
    I'm nobody's puppet, you not there at our stated time. I'm Gone.
    Not Waiting. That goes for anybody.

  • @Chloe98724
    @Chloe98724 2 วันที่ผ่านมา

    After leaving, my narc ex delayed getting my name off our tenancy agreement for as long as possible, every time i contacted him asking for it to be done i just got a load of verbal abuse😒

  • @JFish-df2ep
    @JFish-df2ep 14 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Narcopath was late on the day we got engaged despite knowing what was happening. 🚩🚩🚩 I should have paid attention to the red flags.

  • @LilithDaydream
    @LilithDaydream 15 วันที่ผ่านมา +26

    I will leave a comment to tell you how great this video is, but I’m busy and will have to do it later.

    • @1WhoCares
      @1WhoCares 15 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      Hello @LilithDaydream! Long time, no see - I hope you are well, despite being busy.

    • @TheTower73
      @TheTower73 15 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

      😂😂😂 hope you’re well

    • @SkylarK_x_bk_0
      @SkylarK_x_bk_0 15 วันที่ผ่านมา +7

      hi Lilith - future faking are we? 😉🤣

    • @LilithDaydream
      @LilithDaydream 15 วันที่ผ่านมา

      @@1WhoCares Always great to see you. I’m in the comments section, you’re welcome to say hello ! 🙂

    • @LilithDaydream
      @LilithDaydream 15 วันที่ผ่านมา

      @@TheTower73 Looking forward to the Slot era ! YNWA ♥️

  • @Geewhizzy
    @Geewhizzy 13 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Annie no knickers...😂😂😂

  • @simjam1980
    @simjam1980 15 วันที่ผ่านมา +10

    My ex would blame me for getting angry because she decided to become a whore. She would act like the victim saying, "its not my choice, I HAVE to do it.(poor me)". She would promise to stop, but always "in a couple of months". Of course, I would lose my mind and get angry, then she would use my anger as an excuse to keep doing it.(get revenge on me). But she was always the victim, "because its not what she wants to do.". Yeah right.

    • @bunnyboo6295
      @bunnyboo6295 10 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      Thats confusing

    • @Natty183
      @Natty183 2 วันที่ผ่านมา

      ​​@@bunnyboo6295 Sounds like she's selling herself for both of them...

  • @SomewhereOutThereLostWithoutU
    @SomewhereOutThereLostWithoutU 14 วันที่ผ่านมา

    I wish I could ask you to avenge me HG. I would happily be enslaved to you forever. Joyfully doing your bidding. I can’t tell you though because I hear your voice in a time of great hurt and am struck with such relief and happiness in such a fucked up time and I can’t think straight. Only of how brilliant you are and the normalcy you give back to me. You must be so much in real life. Thank you HG. You mesmerize me.

  • @rubytroy7756
    @rubytroy7756 13 วันที่ผ่านมา

    ❤❤❤

  • @llyn5759
    @llyn5759 6 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Had to switch to 1.5x 😅

  • @Sparrow0514
    @Sparrow0514 2 วันที่ผ่านมา

    How to deal with a boss who is using this tactic 🤔

  • @user-lv5lq1nf5d
    @user-lv5lq1nf5d 4 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Ill be dead in four days. Its weird when you know your times is up

  • @fooled_twice4668
    @fooled_twice4668 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    Trumps actions in court. Exactly

    • @Fishsticks007
      @Fishsticks007 12 วันที่ผ่านมา

      His entire life in court and withholding payment to many of his past contractors/etc. yet …. They are master manipulators… especially him and people just continue to line up… a lot of people like being told what to do and being screwed over… they’re messed up

  • @katimaines4361
    @katimaines4361 15 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    😂

  • @dee7665
    @dee7665 12 วันที่ผ่านมา

    This is why only doctors,certified counselors, and coaches should discuss narcissism, not youtube creators

    • @eunoiaeudaimonia6829
      @eunoiaeudaimonia6829 12 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      TH-cam serves as a way for people to discuss their experiences, you will either relate or won’t. Doctors or counselors are not the only ones who experience this phenomenon or hold monopoly to clarify it.

  • @gpparis2023
    @gpparis2023 15 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    Yucky

  • @Ghettobank69
    @Ghettobank69 11 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Not ME, be ON TIME.
    If not I'M GONE

    • @Peekaboo5819
      @Peekaboo5819 10 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Control freak

  • @m.o.s.h.1836
    @m.o.s.h.1836 3 วันที่ผ่านมา

    😂