my mother did this enmeshment trip, but then did a turnabout and dumped us as we were about to fly the nest, and she got re-married and it was her and him against the world
This is why I like the word codependency. The people here say pro-dependance which doesn’t address the dysfunction in this maladaptive behavior. When I fail to give love and abandon those I love in my tribe whether it’s family or friends or support groups because I’m needing “my hit” of comfort from my new higher power (my person that will supply me the feelings I need to convince myself yo change the story in my head) and it’s how I do what I think is love, it’s codependency for me. Labels are POINTERS not identities which Cali people forget cuz they are deep in the woke mind virus by osmosis. Because of course. She pulls away when you individuate. It’s a punishment…probably unconscious but I’m sure pulling away is a common way she handled when you were a “bad boy”. My MiL did this to our grandkids to punish her son for not calling everyday (only called once) when she was sick cuz she “was sicker than she’s ever been” yet her life time husband was there with her and to punish me for a misunderstanding that I apologized for immediately. No convo and of course she’s the victim in all these situations and tells herself the story how we are just having a great life laughing merrily along as she sits and pines… So of course any person believing their own bull$hit will go into survival mode. She needed another person that fawns over her and new love is the greatest of all drugs to a codependent.
"Our spouse, as an outsider, they can see things and feel things that people who are inside the family can't see or feel, or can't recognize." BINGO! I saw something strange was going on when I first met my husband's family. It was obvious, even though at the time I didn't know it had a name (41 years ago). Fast forward and we are trying to recover from his PMO addiction (30+ years of our 38 year marriage) and trying to figure out what the hell happened to us. I think I may have discovered something very VERY pertinent. His mother was controlling, suffocating, manipulative. And, her children were all PERFECT.
![[UNCUT] "บอสณวัฒน์" แฉ! แหล่งซุกเงินแก๊งบอส ขยันผิดที่ไม่กี่ปีก็เข้าคุก l คนดังนั่งเคลียร์ l17ต.ค.67](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/BL56qIfXYZM/mqdefault.jpg)
my mother did this enmeshment trip, but then did a turnabout and dumped us as we were about to fly the nest, and she got re-married and it was her and him against the world
😢
Hopefully You saw through
This is why I like the word codependency. The people here say pro-dependance which doesn’t address the dysfunction in this maladaptive behavior. When I fail to give love and abandon those I love in my tribe whether it’s family or friends or support groups because I’m needing “my hit” of comfort from my new higher power (my person that will supply me the feelings I need to convince myself yo change the story in my head) and it’s how I do what I think is love, it’s codependency for me. Labels are POINTERS not identities which Cali people forget cuz they are deep in the woke mind virus by osmosis.
Because of course. She pulls away when you individuate. It’s a punishment…probably unconscious but I’m sure pulling away is a common way she handled when you were a “bad boy”.
My MiL did this to our grandkids to punish her son for not calling everyday (only called once) when she was sick cuz she “was sicker than she’s ever been” yet her life time husband was there with her and to punish me for a misunderstanding that I apologized for immediately.
No convo and of course she’s the victim in all these situations and tells herself the story how we are just having a great life laughing merrily along as she sits and pines…
So of course any person believing their own bull$hit will go into survival mode. She needed another person that fawns over her and new love is the greatest of all drugs to a codependent.
My partner’s sister is the enmeshed person 🥺 he has no boundaries with her and admits she comes first
"Our spouse, as an outsider, they can see things and feel things that people who are inside the family can't see or feel, or can't recognize." BINGO!
I saw something strange was going on when I first met my husband's family. It was obvious, even though at the time I didn't know it had a name (41 years ago).
Fast forward and we are trying to recover from his PMO addiction (30+ years of our 38 year marriage) and trying to figure out what the hell happened to us. I think I may have discovered something very VERY pertinent.
His mother was controlling, suffocating, manipulative. And, her children were all PERFECT.
Have you considered a book on enmeshed women? I know he mentions this in the book momentarily.
Thank you Jon!!
Even our Creator's get ANGRY!
Please share some real stories