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Entrepreneurs in Cars fair enough but I’m gonna be the gatekeeper of relationship and Sex or no deal. Going great now , and being old classmates I’ve kind of known her for 40 years. No red flags , but I sure overlooked them with my ex wife in 90s 😪
I guess I'm lucky. I had two five year relationships where I didn't marry. The first didn't feel right because everything was an argument and I was always wrong The second was that we were heading in different directions and she started disrespecting me by playing re-scheduling and other such games that she knew would frustrate me. My latest two relationships were with foreign ladies. Quite nice EXCEPT the political agendas: one was a Taiwanese ploy designed to be with me to spy on me, while the other was a honeytrap for Australian dogs to invade my personal, private life. Now, I'm single, educated and I realise I avoided several slaughterhouses (thankfully). Eh. Life could be better but it certainly isn't the worst.
Twenty years ago I fell for this conversation and married her. After the kids were born she had tons of “male orbiters” around and I eventually caught her cheating. She wanted a divorce and up $4,000 in child support and alimony. I was not only devastated from the infidelity, but knowing my life was over since I was going to become a financial slave to a woman who cheated on me multiple times with multiple men. My only saving grace was that the kids wanted to live with me. I attribute that from all the quality time I spent with them during their childhood. So I landed up getting the house back, paying no child support, or alimony. I really dodged a bullet. Especially living in the draconian state of New York. I’m on my knees thanking God everyday and warning other men whenever I can
@@MrBirgerB Yeah that's what I was thinking too cuz he said they got along with her really good so why did he break up with her ? Was it red Flags ? Enlighten us MatMSW what were the reasons ?
My father wife'd up a psycho 24 years younger than him. He knew she was bent and told us he was NOT going to marry her. He put a ring on it after the first "sh!t or get off the pot" conversation and now they are divorcing and he's dealing with a ton of emotional pain...it's like a self-inflicted gunshot wound...
@@SwordHandler222 thats what I said. That didn't work for her. She didn't propose a prenump even though I work in the financial sector and see men get raped in court and told her It was mine concern. Oh well. She has a low budget version of me now. Not as good looking and not making the same coin. I win.
If a woman ever talks to a man she's with in that way, then she has had indicators that she could get away with it. Ever since I've developed frame, I have not had drama. Thanks for introducing me to RationalMale and Modern Life Dating, went a looooonnng way to my growth.
@Dr.'sorders stop that. That negativity can stay over there. I'm out here living a wonderful life and I won't let anything or anyone get in the way of that. God bless and best wishes to you though. ✌️
Exactly! I did the 'else' too because I thought she had pegged me as being a sucker, i.e she thought she could groom me, get me hooked and I'd play house. Actually, I've been around the block a few times and saw through it but(!) Correct, if I'd had the appropriate frame...I wouldn't have found myself in that position with that girl in the first place. Lesson learned, my bad.
“Introducing stress into the relationship” is very sage. Cannot think of a better piece of advice to impart onto a young guy courting a potential bride
Exactly, does she have what it takes to handle hard times like an adult or will she just point and sputter. What ever she does, that'll be the rest of your life.
Kurt Nunn Facts, happened to me, Im still young, I own a restaurant... the stress at the restaurant was/is way too high for her to handle, I did not know about all this before... she had already a kid... she could not take it anymore, not to mention the mafia showing up, she left... by zooming out and reading the books this amazing person shares here... I certainly know I dodge a bullet and this was just the beggining. My dad as well told me it was good it ended now.
I'm 51 and never been married. Three women tried to give me that speech. One was "get involved in my church or we're done." So we were done. Two gave me the "marriage or else." I took the else. No regrets. All three would have made me miserable. One married a beta (church girl) and he never left the city to expand to better opportunities. One of the other two married a beta and now spends everything he has I imagine. She doesn't do much of anything. He was on track to be retired at 50. He isn't. The third never found another guy ----she is now 54. Apparently no one else would put up with her California attitude. End point. Don't reject women totally (MGTOW 'monks"). Navigate good ones, spend good times with good ones---realize good ones can change especially when surrounded by harpy friends---and don't risk assets by saying I do or moving in. End point #2. I'm not unhappy or bitter. All of my smart married friends--they are now my smart divorced friends---every one of them. Now who's smart? BTW gents--oil is down as well as copper----quit paying attention to women and pay attention to indexes--cheers, Charles
I am a 42yr old guy, single, never married and very successful. I was dating a gorgeous woman (former beauty pageant winner), 38yrs old with an 18yr old son from ex-husband #1 and a 3yr old little girl from ex-husband #2. We had amazing sexual chemistry and we enjoyed traveling and spending time together. Two months into the relationship we had a discussion about marriage and kids and i was very clear and direct with her that i would NEVER marry her or any other female on the planet and i explained my reasons why and she understood. I also told her that i don't want kids.. 10 months later right before Christmas time she is head over heals in love with me and starts talking about getting "marriage counseling" for us in preparation for our future marriage. I'm thinking to myself: "WTF did this bitch forget what i told her from the VERY beginning??" So she tells me this at dinner and when we get back to my place she nonchalantly throws out this "threat" that if i don't marry her and take the role of step dad etc that she'll find someone to fill "those shoes." I listened and nodded and the night was soon over and she left. Since she lives an hour away, the next day i call her up to tell her that she was now free to find someone to "fill those shoes" as I'm letting her go. I told her to take care. She texted me the next day to apologize and a few days later she texted some I love you BS. I never answered, blocked her in every app i have as well as phone and that was that!
I was presented with the same ultimatum from my college girlfriend of 4 years. I was young and had no clue about women, feminism and its destructive effects on relationships and family, but I could feel in my gut how something was seriously wrong. Looking back I laugh at all the warning signs - social worker girlfriend, in libtard San Francisco, extreme feminist sister talking into her ear... I bailed and realize that was the most crucial and best decision in my life.
You could always avoid this speech by telling hem want you want from the very beginning. My GF and I have been together for 14 + years. I told her from the get go, you're never moving in, we're never getting married and I'm never having kids. She's a great compliment to my life and not the focus.
...and I dumped her a month ago. She just wasn't putting in the effort anymore so instead of a girlfriend visiting me I had an annoying whiney friend. She packed up all her things in a huff and stormed out within 10 minutes. If I had of known it was that easy I would have done it two years ago. Funny thing was, one of the last things she said to me was she blamed "Mr Richard Cooper" ! Jeez I laughed at that one.
I was born an raised in U.S, but my uncle (from Iran) used to always tell me "Your wife will determine your life....choose wisely." Listening to you basically say the exact thing and watching so many other men become a shell of their former selves or lose the majority of their wealth has confirmed it to me that both of you guys got it right. Love your channel, keep up the super informative content. A lot of men need to hear what you have to teach.
Got that when I was 35 and she was 34. I married her when I was 36, she had our son when I was 37. She suffered post natal depression and left me and filed for divorce when my son was 3 months old. I was the love of her life until my child was born, then I became the sperm donor. Never in my life have I seen a woman switch personalities from one end of the spectrum to the other on such a level. It’s incredibly hard to say I’d go back and change it if I could because then I wouldn’t have my son. In fact I’d do it all over again for my boy, but her leaving me was the hardest thing I have ever had to endure. I lost two people that day, not just her, but her and my son. Fortunately I had a top attorney and I see my son and have joint custody, but he lives with her and I see him pretty much whenever I want, but it cost me and I had to fight. But during the process I lost it for a while and had mental/nervous break down. Lost everything including my business. Hit the bottle hard for 2 years. Then I sorted my shit out and quit the booze, hit the gym and focused on work. Built myself up and got a successful business operational again. Guess who came back knocking on my door after 5 years of divorce? Yep! You guessed it! Guess what? I took her back and we got engaged again. She started the same shit and I realized this was a repeat scenario. So I walked out after 3 months. Never again. Woman do not change!
I wish there was a bookmark for comments, so I can bookmark this one here. I don't want to generalize, but women changing over a sudden is so true. Be very careful guys.
Ah, yes. I remember I took a seasonal holiday side job two months ago at a department store. Guy comes in with his soon to be fiancé' looking very defeated. She was looking at the rings worth over ten grand and she wouldn't take anything less. I felt bad for him and wanted to pull him off to the side and tell him to run away but she was glued to his hip, making sure he knew the right ring to buy her. All i could do was shake my head in disgust.
Guys please do not assume that there is the 'perfect relationship' out there. I enjoy this channel and how it keeps you focused on becoming a self actualised individual. Some women are clearly best avoided as they show every sign of wanting nothing but your money and couldn't give a damn about you, or how much you suffered to achieve what you have. Similarly many men out their are a**holes and you would never wish your daughter to be anywhere near them. Marriage is a compromise whether we like to think of it in that way or not. This doesn't have to sound negative however as marriage can also bring you happiness in other ways that you didn't have when you were single. Just like children are a compromise as any parent will tell admit, you give up a lot of your time and money to raise children, you love them more than they can imagine, yet you compromise so much in your life to raise them. As human beings, we are creatures that are not that easy to live with. We all have our faults. You need to find a partner that appears to care and love you 'enough' to last in good or bad times. This is the most delicate part of all, and sometimes you may never know until after you have made the commitment. Ultimately you should not feel pressured to commit to anyone unless you genuinely feel it is the right decision for you. You do not have to get married. It is perfectly 'OKAY' to remain happy and single. I agree that the law surrounding divorce needs rethinking, and needs to be more impartial and unprejudiced. There are no easy answers, only 'best practices' and hope that things work out.
A woman asking "when are you going to marry me" is like the executioner saying "when are you going to put your head on the chopping block?" Same eventual outcome for some, only delayed by a few years, and a lot more painful.
I can't wrap my head around dudes who succumb to ultimatums. What is going on in their heads after hearing "Are you going to marry me or not?" Where is the integrity?
It’s about their history, self worth, and their habit of pleasing others. It can be very hard for these men to stand up for themselves through learned behavior. That’s what the “no more me nice guy” book is all about.
If you are happy why change ? if its not broke don't fix it . The transition from common law to full law makes a difference . why else push the agenda ? @ Suzanne !
Stupid men: "Oh no I don't want to lose this horrible woman who constantly nags me, takes all my money, demands my constant attention, makes me feel bad for sitting down for 5 minutes after working all day I'd better marry her right away and spend every cent of my savings in the process!" Smart men: "Bitch bye."
Damn. This video needs to be made compulsory for all men under the age of 18 to watch. So many valuable pieces of information for all you young guys out there. Don't walk through life with your head buried in the sand, because you won't know where the kick's coming from.
Yes I'm 19, don't watch this channel too much, but I am red pilled from channels like alpha male strategies, stephiscold, coach red pill and the33secrets. Thanks to their advice, I will never put a woman on a pedestal, believe what she says (look at her actions instead), or make a chick the main focus of my life. Plus I live in a female household, and that teaches me so much about female nature. Women only care about themselves, and are pretty selfish. I'm trying to figure a plan to move out💪
I am 45, never married, no kids, my LTR came to an end at 43. It was 11 years, red flags but deep down I knew I was not getting married. She gave me an ultimatum to get married, I paused and said no, she lost her s**t. I went through pain but year and a half later much better and it’s true some of the worst things end up being the best. Ohhh yea 1.5 years later get an e-mail she wants to be friends (after 2) rounds on the CC for her, my ex is 46 now. Me, work do my thing and drive my 1987 Iroc around that a bought at 21. 👍😊Thanks Rich, gentleman invest in YOURSELF!
Marriage is a “slaughter house”, we’ll put. I went through a divorce 3-years ago. Family Law is bias against men, you will suffer through that process, you will be financially ravaged, and you will not have control of your life. Sometimes even after the divorce process is finished.
I only started dating very late in life. My first GF, 38 at the time, asked me to marry her 1year into the relationship. Lots of red flags. Without even thinking about it, I said the right thing, and let her know it was not going to happen, largely thanks to this channel. She initiated sex that night... 🤷
Yes, that is how they are. It's counter intuitive. We have all been raised in the feminist female dominated society that tells us women are logical like men. BULLSHIT!!! If you do what she wants, she hates you and doesn't respect you and a woman will not fuck a man she does not respect. Be your own man, tell her no when she crosses a boundary and you'll have a great relationship. jim
@@juniorninjaman865 I don't think trapping is fair. More like locking me in. I don't think she was acting in bad faith. (P.s I'm not with her anymore. Just spinning 2 plates now.)
jim jones Jim, agreed but only one flaw in that method. It works up to the point she has a beta option who she knows will do anything she says. She departs takes half your shit. She will end up hating and disrespecting him in the way you describe. But the damage is already done to both men! As she only thinks in the here and now. How do you side step that?
Early 30s here. She gave me the same pressure, we only dated a year. We were engaged, she was pregnant, she miscarried, left me for her coworker. Reflecting back, I dodged a bullet. Much happier single.
15 years ago now my first (and only) marriage was based on an ultimatum. I remember the day very well. Her breaking down in tears. We'd only known each other one year. Wish I could have gone back and chose differently, but I'm happy to be free now. I was fortunate compared to some, no children, but a lot of lost time and money.
Literally going through this right now after 5 years. Been managing the shit tests during the time but the warning signs have been there throughout which has slowly seen me emotionally withdraw. She’s been applying pressure to marry, have a kid, move overseas and support her in career (highly driven) but the whole focus has been about what she wants. I’ve recently told her I’m hopping off and, well you can imagine how that’s going.
A departing girlfriend told me she'd thought we would eventually get married and have kids, and that she'd wasted the last five years of her life. I said, 'I'm sorry to hear that *you* feel *you've* wasted the last five years of *your* life.'
@@mrunconventional Good one. But my point is 5 years. We should talk about and discuss where our relationship is going with the other. If you just want to date or live together and not get married than make it know. If the other person wants to get married and you don't him her go. It's dat simple to me. Enjoy your day
This is probably the most pressing video of yours for the young guys like me out there. A necessary disclaimer expressed in a simple and straightforward manner for the men who still want to get married. I'm downloading this one.
Listening to anecdotes about bad women is like medication for me. Any time that I feel I’m becoming too ruthless with women and weak men, I know it’s time to hear some horror stories. They are never in short supply.
Words of Wisdom on marriage are the same as making a major purchase : Get a warranty (pre-nup), take your time, never decide under pressure, be prepared to walk away from the deal, have options, use your head not your eyes (or other parts).
Another excellent video. Men must be careful and choose wisely. This isn’t the stock market; this is your life. You can really avoid a lot of drama and pain when you understand the truth that Rich is speaking. Experiences do not lie. We have to learn from each other, continue to put our content about women, and teach men how to navigate the landscape. Must avoid land mines (toxic women) at all costs.
Went through this 10 months ago. I’m 37 with 2 kids almost done raising them….meet a 26 year old damaged co dependent chick who after 8 months of dating is saying “what are we”. “Where is this going?” “I’m not willing to compromise on having kids”. I was up front about not wanting more kids and she said she though she could change my mind. Stayed too long but once she was being distant and playing games I knew she was probably monkey branching. I’m so glad I ✌️ out. Would have been divorced with another kid down the road. DON’T DO IT FELLAS!!!
Listen to every word he is saying, it is 100% accurate. One bit of advice that I've learned personally is, if you ever want to know what your chick is going to look like 25 or 30 years from now look at her mother. But the most important thing is (no one ever seems to address) watch how her mother treats her father.
Thankyou Rich for all the work you have done on your channel. You articulate a narrative and explain the mechanics of relationships, to which previously I've always felt something was off in my previous relationships, my gut instinct screaming out but blue pill reasoning and beliefs drowning out the red flags. It's so true that women are happy to use their peak years to play the game, enjoy messing around with guys but 10 years into their decline suddenly wake up and have a long list of requirements to some unlucky sucker. Women are experts at driving situations into their favour, it's high time we took our lives back and support each other brothers.
50 year old that survive the grind. Raised my kids single and by myself. Great Christian girl lost her mind after 10 years and wanted to not raise children. Listen to brother rich. He will save you from your sins.
My wife, then gf of two years, gave me the shit or get off the pot talking to. I fell for it. After years of being unhappily married I’m finally moving towards a divorce after 13 years of marriage. Wish I knew then what I know now.
I told her a year ago I don't want kids or marriage. She said it's fine, she just wants to be together. Now the story is "I'm unhappy because you don't want kids"
My response to 9:35 He's right. I was pressured to get married less than 1 year into the relationship and did it not 100% willingly. I was in my late 20s, didn't have anyone to talk to or get good guidance or advice from. I got engaged, my mother said to call off the wedding temporarily and date her longer. I went to my girlfriend/fiance & told her we should give it some time, slow things down. She said, "if we don't get married then forget it". We got married and it was off from the beginning. I was miserable. We should have been divorced shortly afterward however it got more & more serious as time went on, and harder and harder to end it. She got baby rabies and busted my balls to get her pregnant. I did unwillingly. As time went on it got more & more serious, baby, car payment (for baby to be safe on road), bought a house, another baby, and I had to be responsible for the babies. She turned out to be a covert narcissist and was a lying, manipulating person from a dysfunctional family. I didn't know because it all happened so fast. Had we dated a while these things would have shown themselves. If you're going to get married take the advice in this video. Date a while, meet the family, see any poor behaviors/red flags. Get all of your stuff in order. Your savings buried, your house locked in, your assets secured, etc., etc., etc. We are now waiting for a judge to sign the divorce papers any week now, 19 years later. I got joint legal & physical custody and I'm not paying her child support because of that. That's the subject of another video, but that's a very important topic so I will mention it. Try to get her to go to a mediator. Tell her she will save money. Get joint legal & physical custody. She pays her share when she has the kids, you pay your share when you have the kids, otherwise your child support will be paying for her shoes, hair, nails, and her drinks at the bar to get picked-up & banged by another dude. Good luck fellas, listen to what he's saying, play your cards right, and if she don't like it too fhukin' bad! If you don't look out for you, who will?
First few years before marriage was great. Kids came along, got married basically 4 years of good times. Red flags started popping up. Things slowly soured. You can figure the out the rest. Stay single. Enjoy life more. Invest in self. Where I would be today if I had this advice 20 years ago. Don't get me wrong. I love my kids. I just regret what happened after. I'm out. 👍👍
A lot of great truth here! I was given the “shit or get off the pot” proposition from a gal I was dating at the end of a year of dating... I broke it off because there were several red flags. That was about 12 years ago. As I think about it now, I dodged a bullet! All the things said here are so true
Thank you for explaining this. I was married to a cluster b. She made everything to be the focus, got married within three months after meeting her, then got divorced 10 months later. Once you see a consistent pattern where rationale isn't being used run for the hills.
my ex tried to force me into cohabitation even though i wasnt ready yet because i had some goals to achieve. She nagged me and started arguing all the time about it so i decided to leave. id rather be alone that live in a cage with someone else.
Ultimatums are basically saying "give me the frame or I'm gone". It's so important that men let her walk away, if you don't then you don't even have a frame to begin with.
And those requests never end. The keep on coming. She'll never be satisfied. Once she sets the tone, it's over. You've entered into her frame, and therefore she holds the upper hand. You're better off getting rid of her at that point and moving on.
Crap or get off the pot is an ultimatum, and the side issuing the ultimatum always has the least bargaining power. In business, relationships, and in life, the only correct answer anytime someone gives you an ultimatum, is "Fuck you."
My 7 year relationship collapsed because I didn't cave to her ultimatums. She was banging someone else three weeks after the ultimatum. Certainly wasn't true love but a bullet dodged.
My GF sang the same song "let's get married" I replied, you paid for it all. She never asked again. 😂 PS: Thanks to much for your contents, you are the uncle I never had, well.. Now, I have.
Went to a movie on a second meeting with this chick. Half way through she gets on her phone and gets on her dating app l noticed. Told her l had to hit the washroom. Never came back. I had picked her up and she had a very expensive taxi ride home l assume. Simply put brothers, doesn’t tolerate any BS, ever.
Been there. We got into a relationship. She was 33 and had baby fever, and I think she put me on a timeline. Started talking marriage and babies year one. Started pushing harder in year two, and began REALLY pushing it in year three; that's when it ended. I've decided never to marry; why become willingly legally bound to another person?
I've met women with ridiculous demands and when you meet enough of them, they get easier to deal with. My favorite way of dealing women pushy about marriage is to look them in the eye and calmly ask "why are you worth marrying?" All women I asked, except for one, gave me the deer in headlights look. The exception said it was because she could have kids. I haven't tried this one myself I want to find the opportunity nonetheless. If the girl is throwing a fit, calmly gesture towards her behavior and ask her, "is this what marriage with you will be like?" If there's any guys out there that have tried this, how did it go?
To date, my parents have a successful marriage & I've always wanted that growing up. Being older now, I realise what is involved in maintaining a healthy commitment & "why" coaches will always say "don't shack up with crazy" & don't succumb to ultimatums or other manipulative tactics. In order to avoid any confusion or being used down the track, the topic of marriage, commitment & babies need to be discussed early on in new relationships to see if two people are on the same page & are heading in the same direction in life. I'm realizing now you can't change people's minds & do you really want to waste your time doing so? Anyway, another great video Rich! 🙌
When you get the ultimatum it's time to show her the door. Something ain't right. You don't have to know what it is, you just need to end it. Never, ever, get pushed into something, especially marriage.
Back in 2016 I had a relationship with a woman who was two years older than me. During the third month she told me ''When are you gonna marry me?''. I instantly made up my mind that she was worthless and stayed about three months more in order to find out what was going on with her just out of curiosity(and for banging her of course). She had a LOT of daddy issues,past issues(the ''unlucky'' type),she tried to distant me from my friends and my family and she was flirting with other guys. When I broke up with her she threatened me and after a while she tried to win me back by changing her behavior. For about a year she was stalking me until she finally realised that it was over. This was my last relationship and I do not intend to get involved with a woman again.
Majima Mike I’ve been through that “her trying to change her behavior” phase. It’s all bullshit. She will change, and she will be better for it, but the underlying issues are still there. It’s like covering a mound of shit with glitter.
Since getting married (more than 17 years ago) suicide sounds like a great release. Some call it cowardice, those in the fog see it as a welcome rest from the self made hell that society railroads you into, and our father's never warned us about. I don't say women are the enemy, no more than then venomous rattlesnake that bites you when you stumble on its nest.....it's a lack of understanding on my part of the true nature of the female of the species. This isn't a cry for help, and I'm not looking for sympathy, my eyes are open and I have my answers, good luck finding yours.
Never had those dark thoughts but my life wasn't very good 20 years ago. Having everything to nothing in 6 years was worth the peace of mind and serenity. You can't put a price on happiness.
She ain't important enough to top yourself, walk away man. There was this guy in my folks church, committed suicide at 83, been married 61 years and in his note he just said he'd had enough of the nagging and bitching. That event is etched in my mind and have acted according. just walk buddy, she is NOT worth your life. jim
I dodged this exact bullet about 5 months ago after a 4 year relationship. I decided from the beginning I would be bullied or pressured into nothing. I stood my ground and that relationship went into a flat spin. EJECT! EJECT! EJECT! She's already got some other fool she's working on and I'm doing the work becoming a better version of myself. Now I'm 33 and leveling up with no extra weight, our SMV's have inverted.
Dating is sometimes like going to a used car dealership. Expect the following: They fast talk, gloss over the fine print, omit the service history and make promises like a politician. All you have to do is sign on the dotted line. This is especially directed at the Settler. That’s a guy they settle for just to meet their hidden agenda.
I enjoy your videos so much more when you are in cars. lol I mean, messages are great regardless, but something about you driving around explaining Man-Life is great. I do a lot of self-reflection while driving because it is when I am truly alone most. So, when I see you driving around while explaining these things, it hits home.
If she gives you an ultimatum and you DO love her and think you may want to marry her someday, then throw that back on her by saying you'd require a legal prenuptial agreement and also an ongoing post nuptial agreement to be renewed throughout the marriage at various times that major circumstances change - such as the acquisition of property, birth of each child, etc... THEN see if she takes back her ultimatum OR see if she leaves screaming 😂😁😆
Actually I think that marriage, as we know it, should automatically have a prenuptial agreement required by law. This would prevent a lot of marriages from taking place and if she agrees to it, then you will know she is open to being reasonable.
@@GBU61 I got one nothing different then the standing law. Just so she can't turn back and say she didn't know how law works in Canada. She was mad for a day then got over it...
You verbalized my thoughts and experiences exactly. I even use the same phrases. Spot on sobering video for anyone with marital glasses on. This!!! 8:22 the persona flip flop. The tactfulness is deceiving, going into marriage as well as the exit.
Not weird at all man! Air Supply rocks! But gotta admit i try not to focus on the lyrics anymore, to much cringe. Unlike women, good music makes life worth living.
30 years in I got divorced (her choice) from a so-called Christian woman with a solid family background. From that perspective, know this: 1) Do not under any circumstances marry any girl who has had more than 0-2 prior sexual partners (ideally it's 0). They lose their ability to pair bond if they've had more than 1-2 sexual partners, and you will always be "just another guy" to her--not her life partner. Practically speaking this means you will have to marry someone who is in her teens, or very religious, at least in Western society. 2) If you want to get married in the US, live in a "no alimony" state like Texas. If you want to have kids, live in Israel or a Muslim country, or the Philippines. Even "good" woman change after menopause, and thus they are always looking for a better deal and will kick you to the curb if they think they have one locked up. And there is nothing worse than being given limited access to your kids--NOTHING. 3) Women can't love you the way you can love them--marriage is just a business transaction for them (they will hitch themselves to whoever they think can give them the best deal under the circumstances). So always be prepared for the dump, emotionally and financially, no matter how good you think you currently have it. I married my wife with the express understanding that divorce would never be an option. She lied. 4) Never marry a woman on the rebound--always wait at least one solid year before even talking about marriage with a woman who's been recently dumped in a relationship. They are unstable during this time and will say or do anything to be re-validated. 5) The great majority of women are only logical when it comes to calculating their finances/resources. On virtually every other topic they "think" with their emotions, and the more you argue with them logically, the more they retreat into their emotions and eventually communication becomes impossible (which means the end of the relationship is certain). 6) If you are middle class or above, ALWAYS set aside money each paycheck that is fully hidden and non traceable (e.g., gold in the ground or bitcoin)--you can thank me for this tip after the divorce court tries to rape you but only gets "some" of your money because you were smart. 7) Never marry a girl who was previously married--your chance of failure at least in the US is 75% (those are terrible odds). And see no. 1 above. 8) Control your wife's friends early on--only let her have happily married friends. Don't let her work in an a toxic environment full of divorced or promiscuous females and/or males--work environment is more important than the money she brings in. And no male friends, under any circumstances. If you think this will be impossible, DO NOT MARRY that woman. Male friends will validate her independently of you, constantly try to get in her pants, and be a sympathetic sounding board to her (you are always the bad guy in every argument). Single female friends will be the same (minus trying to get into her pants) plus jealous of her relationship with you and try to sabotage it--misery loves company. 9) You will be happier and have more peace of mind if you marry a 5 or 6. 7s and above will always be attracting the attention (and validation) of other men, and thus constantly tempt her hypergamous nature. And if the right guy comes along (handsome, wealthier, and more interesting than you) there is a good chance she will jump ship. 10) Have you own life, even in a long term marriage (frame, as Rich calls it). NEVER participate in her frame except on rare (once or twice a year) occasions. You will eventually become dull/uninteresting to her if she and your kids are your only focus in life.
I was with my high school sweetheart to whom I was her first. I figured out somewhere along the line that I wanted no kids and no marriage. After 18 years, 5 living together, she gave me the "...get off the pot" talk along with her timeline for kids, how many, house size, ring size etc. I got off the pot. She had gotten obese from quitting smoking had a shopping addiction, was very masculine energy, none of which she had when we started. I had a rebound relationship that made it easier (did not cheat) but leaving after that long was still the hardest thing I ever did in my life. We both cried a lot but I am glad now that I took the bullet then. Even though I did it I still don't know if I would have the strength to do it again. I learned that if it's not "Hell yes!" it is "no" and you owe it to them to act on that. She's been married and had the kid she wanted since about 2 years after we split and I'm happy for her.
K N I know they arent all like that but i typed that when i realized how many single moms i know, i come from a small town so its easy to know everyone
@@OnsideHaddock72 Small towns are rough! I'm in a midsize Midwest city of maybe 500k (close to a million is suburbs are counted) and its STILL brutal out there especially the older we get. I don't have children and men seem to be confused by that. 🤔 haha. I actually went on two dates with a guy (we're in our 40s) and he told me he wants another baby! He had a son starting college and he wants another!!!! So he never called me again after I told him I wasn't interested in that. In fact it's funny but honestly, I've known as many men over the years with "baby rabies" as women! Seriously not kidding 🙄 I really think the bottom line is, dating sucks for all of us :) ***I wanted to add I saw an ad for a show on TV called "Village of the Damned" and I started laughing thinking....Oh they MUST be talking about my town! 😁
By choice. Then they realize they messed up bigly pushing away the best men they could get when they were younger but only time teaches them, then it's too late, sad
I was given this ultimatum 2 years in a relationship with a 26 year old. I settled to have a child with her which eventually back fired. After 7 years we are not together anymore. She is 33 now and desperately looking for any man that's "good enough" to marry and settle down. It's sad because I was not true to myself. Now I have a child with a woman that was knew was no good for me and he has to suffer because of it.
got my.ex wanting cohabitation and marriage really bad. we broke up and few weeks later she had a new bf. as i sensed that before it happend she was about having someone, not me. trust your guts gentlemen.
I love the intro with those dramatic manual gear shift cuts 😂 I know it's supposed to make you look masculine and alpha but outside US all grandma drive a manual transmission car lol.
I'm 28 and been with my girl for 6 years still not marrying until I'm fully comfortable . Luckily she know and is ok with me not buying a stupid diamond ring .
That "Gate Keeper" line was neat. I've heard similar when a woman says we F who we want, Men F who they can. which is met with Woman marry who they can but Men marry who they want. but like you said we spend no time vetting the person who can use the court against us in every way
Great advice and hard to hear for alot of guys. But just walk away believe me you'll look back and think "wow dodged that bullet". I made wrong decision and gave in sacrificing 10 years to horrible marriage. I get so mad at myself everytime I think about it. Wish I'd found people like Richard when I was younger.
I so needed this right now Rich, dating a 50yo woman for past 3 years single mother of 2 teenagers, she is financially insecure. Got this ultimatum marry me in 3 yrs or im out. Well too many red flags and just let her walk. She has a new chump now she is trying to lock down.
Havent watched the video yet but already laughing.Had this happen several times in my life but just kept following my own path.Look back sometimes and wonder what if .However on my sixth decade now still following my dreams,my adventures,my purpose.Never had more clarity nor more reason to pursue life.
7:33 to 7:39 No truer words have been spoken. Listen to these words my brothers. King Richard dropping the cold hard knowledge facts. Bravo Richard. Peace !
Almost happened to me years ago. She had baby rabies, I was just starting out on a new career and not making good money. I could not see myself supporting a family with what I made. So I told her that she would be better off with someone else. She found someone else and had 2 kids, I continued with my career and became a millionaire with no kids. Would I liked to have kids with her, yes, but I was not ready. Looking back on the high amount of others failed marriages I am thinking that mine may have failed also. I do not want to deal with the lawyers, property division, emotional, child support payment hassles.
From what I've seen, it's usually an attempt to get a man to make a decision that is often not in his best interests but is in hers. Always be going in your own direction; if she's going the same, she can tag along but you don't give up your well-being and happiness because of her selfishness.
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Entrepreneurs in Cars fair enough but I’m gonna be the gatekeeper of relationship and Sex or no deal.
Going great now , and being old classmates I’ve kind of known her for 40 years. No red flags , but I sure overlooked them with my ex wife in 90s 😪
I was beginning to think you made up these problems about women as an excuse to never grow up.
Entrepreneurs in Cars keep up the great work.
I told her, look I’m done. U are going to give me cancer.
I guess I'm lucky. I had two five year relationships where I didn't marry. The first didn't feel right because everything was an argument and I was always wrong
The second was that we were heading in different directions and she started disrespecting me by playing re-scheduling and other such games that she knew would frustrate me.
My latest two relationships were with foreign ladies. Quite nice EXCEPT the political agendas: one was a Taiwanese ploy designed to be with me to spy on me, while the other was a honeytrap for Australian dogs to invade my personal, private life.
Now, I'm single, educated and I realise I avoided several slaughterhouses (thankfully).
Eh. Life could be better but it certainly isn't the worst.
Twenty years ago I fell for this conversation and married her. After the kids were born she had tons of “male orbiters” around and I eventually caught her cheating. She wanted a divorce and up $4,000 in child support and alimony. I was not only devastated from the infidelity, but knowing my life was over since I was going to become a financial slave to a woman who cheated on me multiple times with multiple men. My only saving grace was that the kids wanted to live with me. I attribute that from all the quality time I spent with them during their childhood. So I landed up getting the house back, paying no child support, or alimony. I really dodged a bullet. Especially living in the draconian state of New York. I’m on my knees thanking God everyday and warning other men whenever I can
respect from a guy at 31, i will never marry .
A RARE "SUCCESS" story! I've seen that fathers are WAY better single parents than most wahmen. It's innate SACRIFICE in the DNA. Good Karma to you!
you mustve been good in a past life to warrant this kind of luck
@@Ken-no5ip I don’t think it was luck…the strong relationship with my kids paid off
Bro I almost just got sick until I saw the end of the story, u dodged a fucking bullet, don’t EVER do no shit like this again my nigga
Women should complement a guy's life; not the FOCUS.
All women should enter your frame (on your terms & conditions) not vice versa.
So Rich made you dump a knockout you actually liked :-)
I confirm that bro. By experience.
@@MrBirgerB uh oh
Caving into her ultimatums is entering into HER frame. Don't play that game, gentlemen. You will always lose.
@@MrBirgerB Yeah that's what I was thinking too cuz he said they got along with her really good so why did he break up with her ? Was it red Flags ? Enlighten us MatMSW what were the reasons ?
My father wife'd up a psycho 24 years younger than him. He knew she was bent and told us he was NOT going to marry her. He put a ring on it after the first "sh!t or get off the pot" conversation and now they are divorcing and he's dealing with a ton of emotional pain...it's like a self-inflicted gunshot wound...
Bummer, sounds like he felt it was the best he could do. Didn't wanna get another chick, so just went for it
Idk man I’d rather shoot myself in the foot instead... not even exaggerating I’d actually do it if it meant avoiding that kind of shit.
it's not easy to say no, to a girl who is 24 yrs younger than you.
Dad is that you??
ADVICE TO MEN: Don't Get Married EVER.
more complex than that in some countries, even short term co habitation can put you at risk
Why not have the ceremony but not sign the government papers?
It’s on my bucket list.
@@SwordHandler222 thats what I said. That didn't work for her. She didn't propose a prenump even though I work in the financial sector and see men get raped in court and told her It was mine concern.
Oh well. She has a low budget version of me now. Not as good looking and not making the same coin. I win.
10 years ago I refused to give my girlfriend at the time a baby. Best decision I ever made. Got the hell out of there.
Music - The Voice Of The Soul Some sucker has probably spent all his income raising that child now. Lucky escape bro
Get a vasectomy and don't tell her. Shhhh......😜
me did the same bro, cheers from india.
Some other schmuck's problem now.
you dodged a fucking grenade right there, m8!
If a woman ever talks to a man she's with in that way, then she has had indicators that she could get away with it. Ever since I've developed frame, I have not had drama. Thanks for introducing me to RationalMale and Modern Life Dating, went a looooonnng way to my growth.
Exactly. Women don't do this unless they think you will let them.
So true.
@Dr.'sorders stop that. That negativity can stay over there. I'm out here living a wonderful life and I won't let anything or anyone get in the way of that. God bless and best wishes to you though. ✌️
Exactly! I did the 'else' too because I thought she had pegged me as being a sucker, i.e she thought she could groom me, get me hooked and I'd play house. Actually, I've been around the block a few times and saw through it but(!) Correct, if I'd had the appropriate frame...I wouldn't have found myself in that position with that girl in the first place. Lesson learned, my bad.
“Introducing stress into the relationship” is very sage. Cannot think of a better piece of advice to impart onto a young guy courting a potential bride
Exactly, does she have what it takes to handle hard times like an adult or will she just point and sputter. What ever she does, that'll be the rest of your life.
Kurt Nunn Facts, happened to me, Im still young, I own a restaurant... the stress at the restaurant was/is way too high for her to handle, I did not know about all this before... she had already a kid... she could not take it anymore, not to mention the mafia showing up, she left... by zooming out and reading the books this amazing person shares here... I certainly know I dodge a bullet and this was just the beggining. My dad as well told me it was good it ended now.
I'm 51 and never been married. Three women tried to give me that speech. One was "get involved in my church or we're done." So we were done. Two gave me the "marriage or else." I took the else.
No regrets. All three would have made me miserable. One married a beta (church girl) and he never left the city to expand to better opportunities. One of the other two married a beta and now spends everything he has I imagine. She doesn't do much of anything. He was on track to be retired at 50. He isn't. The third never found another guy ----she is now 54. Apparently no one else would put up with her California attitude.
End point. Don't reject women totally (MGTOW 'monks"). Navigate good ones, spend good times with good ones---realize good ones can change especially when surrounded by harpy friends---and don't risk assets by saying I do or moving in.
End point #2. I'm not unhappy or bitter. All of my smart married friends--they are now my smart divorced friends---every one of them. Now who's smart?
BTW gents--oil is down as well as copper----quit paying attention to women and pay attention to indexes--cheers, Charles
Dude, you are my inspiration 🤠😎
Dope
Epic.
You were wise then, you are wise now. Good decisions = good outcomes.
respect from a guy at 31
I am a 42yr old guy, single, never married and very successful. I was dating a gorgeous woman (former beauty pageant winner), 38yrs old with an 18yr old son from ex-husband #1 and a 3yr old little girl from ex-husband #2. We had amazing sexual chemistry and we enjoyed traveling and spending time together.
Two months into the relationship we had a discussion about marriage and kids and i was very clear and direct with her that i would NEVER marry her or any other female on the planet and i explained my reasons why and she understood. I also told her that i don't want kids..
10 months later right before Christmas time she is head over heals in love with me and starts talking about getting "marriage counseling" for us in preparation for our future marriage. I'm thinking to myself: "WTF did this bitch forget what i told her from the VERY beginning??" So she tells me this at dinner and when we get back to my place she nonchalantly throws out this "threat" that if i don't marry her and take the role of step dad etc that she'll find someone to fill "those shoes." I listened and nodded and the night was soon over and she left.
Since she lives an hour away, the next day i call her up to tell her that she was now free to find someone to "fill those shoes" as I'm letting her go. I told her to take care. She texted me the next day to apologize and a few days later she texted some I love you BS. I never answered, blocked her in every app i have as well as phone and that was that!
Well done. Be strong, brother.
Love this
I am a older man and made these mistakes Listen to this guy and save yourself a ton of trouble and money
I was presented with the same ultimatum from my college girlfriend of 4 years. I was young and had no clue about women, feminism and its destructive effects on relationships and family, but I could feel in my gut how something was seriously wrong. Looking back I laugh at all the warning signs - social worker girlfriend, in libtard San Francisco, extreme feminist sister talking into her ear... I bailed and realize that was the most crucial and best decision in my life.
You dodged a bullet!
Kudos. Wise Jedi.
You could always avoid this speech by telling hem want you want from the very beginning. My GF and I have been together for 14 + years. I told her from the get go, you're never moving in, we're never getting married and I'm never having kids. She's a great compliment to my life and not the focus.
So shes not planning to get married at all or not trying to get u commited?
We've been together 15 years now so it's a pretty slow plan if she is ! No, it'll never happen - I won't allow it.
Frame
...and I dumped her a month ago. She just wasn't putting in the effort anymore so instead of a girlfriend visiting me I had an annoying whiney friend. She packed up all her things in a huff and stormed out within 10 minutes. If I had of known it was that easy I would have done it two years ago. Funny thing was, one of the last things she said to me was she blamed "Mr Richard Cooper" ! Jeez I laughed at that one.
@@BucksOutdoors Well played sir. That’s the long game. 👍
I was born an raised in U.S, but my uncle (from Iran) used to always tell me "Your wife will determine your life....choose wisely." Listening to you basically say the exact thing and watching so many other men become a shell of their former selves or lose the majority of their wealth has confirmed it to me that both of you guys got it right. Love your channel, keep up the super informative content. A lot of men need to hear what you have to teach.
Got that when I was 35 and she was 34. I married her when I was 36, she had our son when I was 37. She suffered post natal depression and left me and filed for divorce when my son was 3 months old. I was the love of her life until my child was born, then I became the sperm donor. Never in my life have I seen a woman switch personalities from one end of the spectrum to the other on such a level. It’s incredibly hard to say I’d go back and change it if I could because then I wouldn’t have my son. In fact I’d do it all over again for my boy, but her leaving me was the hardest thing I have ever had to endure. I lost two people that day, not just her, but her and my son. Fortunately I had a top attorney and I see my son and have joint custody, but he lives with her and I see him pretty much whenever I want, but it cost me and I had to fight. But during the process I lost it for a while and had mental/nervous break down. Lost everything including my business. Hit the bottle hard for 2 years. Then I sorted my shit out and quit the booze, hit the gym and focused on work. Built myself up and got a successful business operational again. Guess who came back knocking on my door after 5 years of divorce? Yep! You guessed it! Guess what? I took her back and we got engaged again. She started the same shit and I realized this was a repeat scenario. So I walked out after 3 months. Never again. Woman do not change!
Smart
I wish there was a bookmark for comments, so I can bookmark this one here.
I don't want to generalize, but women changing over a sudden is so true.
Be very careful guys.
I'm literally watching this sitting on the toilet
Multitasking. Nice 👍
So am I 😂
Shit happens.
John Hurt moment in Alien. But anally. 🤔😉😣😂
Same
Ah, yes. I remember I took a seasonal holiday side job two months ago at a department store. Guy comes in with his soon to be fiancé' looking very defeated. She was looking at the rings worth over ten grand and she wouldn't take anything less. I felt bad for him and wanted to pull him off to the side and tell him to run away but she was glued to his hip, making sure he knew the right ring to buy her. All i could do was shake my head in disgust.
Guys please do not assume that there is the 'perfect relationship' out there. I enjoy this channel and how it keeps you focused on becoming a self actualised individual. Some women are clearly best avoided as they show every sign of wanting nothing but your money and couldn't give a damn about you, or how much you suffered to achieve what you have. Similarly many men out their are a**holes and you would never wish your daughter to be anywhere near them. Marriage is a compromise whether we like to think of it in that way or not. This doesn't have to sound negative however as marriage can also bring you happiness in other ways that you didn't have when you were single. Just like children are a compromise as any parent will tell admit, you give up a lot of your time and money to raise children, you love them more than they can imagine, yet you compromise so much in your life to raise them. As human beings, we are creatures that are not that easy to live with. We all have our faults. You need to find a partner that appears to care and love you 'enough' to last in good or bad times. This is the most delicate part of all, and sometimes you may never know until after you have made the commitment. Ultimately you should not feel pressured to commit to anyone unless you genuinely feel it is the right decision for you. You do not have to get married. It is perfectly 'OKAY' to remain happy and single. I agree that the law surrounding divorce needs rethinking, and needs to be more impartial and unprejudiced. There are no easy answers, only 'best practices' and hope that things work out.
My attitude toward ALL ultimatums (not just this kind!) is this: "If you want a quick answer, it's NO."
A woman asking "when are you going to marry me" is like the executioner saying "when are you going to put your head on the chopping block?" Same eventual outcome for some, only delayed by a few years, and a lot more painful.
I can't wrap my head around dudes who succumb to ultimatums.
What is going on in their heads after hearing "Are you going to marry me or not?" Where is the integrity?
After 15 years what cha think?
It’s about their history, self worth, and their habit of pleasing others. It can be very hard for these men to stand up for themselves through learned behavior. That’s what the “no more me nice guy” book is all about.
If you are happy why change ? if its not broke don't fix it . The transition from common law to full law makes a difference . why else push the agenda ? @ Suzanne !
that *Ultimate* its the biggest red flag guys
Stupid men: "Oh no I don't want to lose this horrible woman who constantly nags me, takes all my money, demands my constant attention, makes me feel bad for sitting down for 5 minutes after working all day I'd better marry her right away and spend every cent of my savings in the process!"
Smart men: "Bitch bye."
Damn. This video needs to be made compulsory for all men under the age of 18 to watch. So many valuable pieces of information for all you young guys out there. Don't walk through life with your head buried in the sand, because you won't know where the kick's coming from.
Yes I'm 19, don't watch this channel too much, but I am red pilled from channels like alpha male strategies, stephiscold, coach red pill and the33secrets. Thanks to their advice, I will never put a woman on a pedestal, believe what she says (look at her actions instead), or make a chick the main focus of my life.
Plus I live in a female household, and that teaches me so much about female nature. Women only care about themselves, and are pretty selfish. I'm trying to figure a plan to move out💪
Freshman congrats my man, you are on a path of freedom and prosperity. I salute you.
I am one of these young guys; 18 year old and very grateful for having found this channel!
Every guy that I know that got married via an ultimatum is now divorced. True story.
I am 45, never married, no kids, my LTR came to an end at 43. It was 11 years, red flags but deep down I knew I was not getting married. She gave me an ultimatum to get married, I paused and said no, she lost her s**t. I went through pain but year and a half later much better and it’s true some of the worst things end up being the best. Ohhh yea 1.5 years later get an e-mail she wants to be friends (after 2) rounds on the CC for her, my ex is 46 now. Me, work do my thing and drive my 1987 Iroc around that a bought at 21. 👍😊Thanks Rich, gentleman invest in YOURSELF!
Marriage is a “slaughter house”, we’ll put. I went through a divorce 3-years ago. Family Law is bias against men, you will suffer through that process, you will be financially ravaged, and you will not have control of your life. Sometimes even after the divorce process is finished.
I only started dating very late in life. My first GF, 38 at the time, asked me to marry her 1year into the relationship. Lots of red flags. Without even thinking about it, I said the right thing, and let her know it was not going to happen, largely thanks to this channel. She initiated sex that night... 🤷
Yes, that is how they are. It's counter intuitive. We have all been raised in the feminist female dominated society that tells us women are logical like men. BULLSHIT!!! If you do what she wants, she hates you and doesn't respect you and a woman will not fuck a man she does not respect. Be your own man, tell her no when she crosses a boundary and you'll have a great relationship.
jim
Gary van der Merwe is she doing it with the intentions of trapping you or getting you hooked or something
@@juniorninjaman865 I don't think trapping is fair. More like locking me in. I don't think she was acting in bad faith.
(P.s I'm not with her anymore. Just spinning 2 plates now.)
jim jones Jim, agreed but only one flaw in that method. It works up to the point she has a beta option who she knows will do anything she says. She departs takes half your shit. She will end up hating and disrespecting him in the way you describe. But the damage is already done to both men! As she only thinks in the here and now. How do you side step that?
@@jserink1 You are so, so, right. Been there. Still there. Still there because it works!
Early 30s here. She gave me the same pressure, we only dated a year. We were engaged, she was pregnant, she miscarried, left me for her coworker. Reflecting back, I dodged a bullet. Much happier single.
15 years ago now my first (and only) marriage was based on an ultimatum. I remember the day very well. Her breaking down in tears. We'd only known each other one year. Wish I could have gone back and chose differently, but I'm happy to be free now. I was fortunate compared to some, no children, but a lot of lost time and money.
Literally going through this right now after 5 years. Been managing the shit tests during the time but the warning signs have been there throughout which has slowly seen me emotionally withdraw. She’s been applying pressure to marry, have a kid, move overseas and support her in career (highly driven) but the whole focus has been about what she wants. I’ve recently told her I’m hopping off and, well you can imagine how that’s going.
A departing girlfriend told me she'd thought we would eventually get married and have kids, and that she'd wasted the last five years of her life. I said, 'I'm sorry to hear that *you* feel *you've* wasted the last five years of *your* life.'
Lol this female was investing not dating
"I wanted your resources but you didn't give me the key. You're the bad one"
I hope you ended it, bro
Sorry, I don't blame her. If she wanted to get married and you didn't, you should just break up.
@@mrunconventional
Good one. But my point is 5 years. We should talk about and discuss where our relationship is going with the other. If you just want to date or live together and not get married than make it know. If the other person wants to get married and you don't him her go. It's dat simple to me. Enjoy your day
Well you know the evolutionary point of pairing up with the opposite sex is reproduction, right?
This is probably the most pressing video of yours for the young guys like me out there. A necessary disclaimer expressed in a simple and straightforward manner for the men who still want to get married.
I'm downloading this one.
Probably the best advise yet. My simple rule is, "When given an ultimatum", the answer is always "No".
Mate I really enjoy your videos I always sit down with a cup of tea and take in what you say ☝️
Listening to anecdotes about bad women is like medication for me. Any time that I feel I’m becoming too ruthless with women and weak men, I know it’s time to hear some horror stories. They are never in short supply.
Words of Wisdom on marriage are the same as making a major purchase : Get a warranty (pre-nup), take your time, never decide under pressure, be prepared to walk away from the deal, have options, use your head not your eyes (or other parts).
Another excellent video. Men must be careful and choose wisely. This isn’t the stock market; this is your life. You can really avoid a lot of drama and pain when you understand the truth that Rich is speaking. Experiences do not lie. We have to learn from each other, continue to put our content about women, and teach men how to navigate the landscape. Must avoid land mines (toxic women) at all costs.
Went through this 10 months ago. I’m 37 with 2 kids almost done raising them….meet a 26 year old damaged co dependent chick who after 8 months of dating is saying “what are we”. “Where is this going?” “I’m not willing to compromise on having kids”.
I was up front about not wanting more kids and she said she though she could change my mind. Stayed too long but once she was being distant and playing games I knew she was probably monkey branching. I’m so glad I ✌️ out. Would have been divorced with another kid down the road.
DON’T DO IT FELLAS!!!
Listen to every word he is saying, it is 100% accurate.
One bit of advice that I've learned personally is, if you ever want to know what your chick is going to look like 25 or 30 years from now look at her mother. But the most important thing is (no one ever seems to address) watch how her mother treats her father.
Thankyou Rich for all the work you have done on your channel. You articulate a narrative and explain the mechanics of relationships, to which previously I've always felt something was off in my previous relationships, my gut instinct screaming out but blue pill reasoning and beliefs drowning out the red flags.
It's so true that women are happy to use their peak years to play the game, enjoy messing around with guys but 10 years into their decline suddenly wake up and have a long list of requirements to some unlucky sucker.
Women are experts at driving situations into their favour, it's high time we took our lives back and support each other brothers.
50 year old that survive the grind. Raised my kids single and by myself. Great Christian girl lost her mind after 10 years and wanted to not raise children. Listen to brother rich. He will save you from your sins.
Jason Lancaster Did you see this in her mother too?
Without a doubt. Married young and my dad failed to warn me. I know where you are going. Alot if women become their mothers.
Jason Lancaster Jesus is the only one who can save anyone from their sins.
@@Delta6Creations Nicely put. im with you there
Lost her mind? Typical
My wife, then gf of two years, gave me the shit or get off the pot talking to. I fell for it. After years of being unhappily married I’m finally moving towards a divorce after 13 years of marriage. Wish I knew then what I know now.
Pay attention to the red flags or you will regret it (life is too short)
Yeah so true
I told her a year ago I don't want kids or marriage. She said it's fine, she just wants to be together. Now the story is "I'm unhappy because you don't want kids"
My response to 9:35
He's right. I was pressured to get married less than 1 year into the relationship and did it not 100% willingly. I was in my late 20s, didn't have anyone to talk to or get good guidance or advice from. I got engaged, my mother said to call off the wedding temporarily and date her longer. I went to my girlfriend/fiance & told her we should give it some time, slow things down. She said, "if we don't get married then forget it". We got married and it was off from the beginning. I was miserable. We should have been divorced shortly afterward however it got more & more serious as time went on, and harder and harder to end it. She got baby rabies and busted my balls to get her pregnant. I did unwillingly. As time went on it got more & more serious, baby, car payment (for baby to be safe on road), bought a house, another baby, and I had to be responsible for the babies. She turned out to be a covert narcissist and was a lying, manipulating person from a dysfunctional family. I didn't know because it all happened so fast. Had we dated a while these things would have shown themselves.
If you're going to get married take the advice in this video. Date a while, meet the family, see any poor behaviors/red flags. Get all of your stuff in order. Your savings buried, your house locked in, your assets secured, etc., etc., etc. We are now waiting for a judge to sign the divorce papers any week now, 19 years later. I got joint legal & physical custody and I'm not paying her child support because of that. That's the subject of another video, but that's a very important topic so I will mention it. Try to get her to go to a mediator. Tell her she will save money. Get joint legal & physical custody. She pays her share when she has the kids, you pay your share when you have the kids, otherwise your child support will be paying for her shoes, hair, nails, and her drinks at the bar to get picked-up & banged by another dude. Good luck fellas, listen to what he's saying, play your cards right, and if she don't like it too fhukin' bad! If you don't look out for you, who will?
First few years before marriage was great. Kids came along, got married basically 4 years of good times. Red flags started popping up. Things slowly soured. You can figure the out the rest. Stay single. Enjoy life more. Invest in self. Where I would be today if I had this advice 20 years ago. Don't get me wrong. I love my kids. I just regret what happened after. I'm out. 👍👍
A lot of great truth here! I was given the “shit or get off the pot” proposition from a gal I was dating at the end of a year of dating... I broke it off because there were several red flags. That was about 12 years ago. As I think about it now, I dodged a bullet! All the things said here are so true
If your answer isn't a hard no, then you're living in her frame. Walk away and retain whatever manhood you have.
"Been there, done that". Called her bluff, walked away, and the court record says I made the wise decision. Ha!!
Thank you for explaining this. I was married to a cluster b. She made everything to be the focus, got married within three months after meeting her, then got divorced 10 months later. Once you see a consistent pattern where rationale isn't being used run for the hills.
my ex tried to force me into cohabitation even though i wasnt ready yet because i had some goals to achieve. She nagged me and started arguing all the time about it so i decided to leave. id rather be alone that live in a cage with someone else.
I'm 23. Think my life is gonna be just fine after learning from you. Thanks
I feel once your giving into her your in her frame. Once one request is done next one right around the corner.
So true,
Ultimatums are basically saying "give me the frame or I'm gone". It's so important that men let her walk away, if you don't then you don't even have a frame to begin with.
And those requests never end. The keep on coming. She'll never be satisfied. Once she sets the tone, it's over. You've entered into her frame, and therefore she holds the upper hand. You're better off getting rid of her at that point and moving on.
@@joshspiker Give them an inch and they'll take a mile, give them a mile and they'll take a light year.
thank you. im 20 turning 21. im glad im learning all this now
Crap or get off the pot is an ultimatum, and the side issuing the ultimatum always has the least bargaining power. In business, relationships, and in life, the only correct answer anytime someone gives you an ultimatum, is "Fuck you."
My 7 year relationship collapsed because I didn't cave to her ultimatums. She was banging someone else three weeks after the ultimatum. Certainly wasn't true love but a bullet dodged.
The person who cares less is in control. If she is dictating the conditions of your relationship ...guess who’s in control?
Spot on! Also if you get your first ultimatum and it works it’s not going to be your last!
And i thought this was about quitting Weed. ...good news
I absolutely agree with you and I’ll also add that I’ve learned something more from this. One Love brother!
My GF sang the same song "let's get married" I replied, you paid for it all. She never asked again. 😂
PS: Thanks to much for your contents, you are the uncle I never had, well.. Now, I have.
Went to a movie on a second meeting with this chick. Half way through she gets on her phone and gets on her dating app l noticed. Told her l had to hit the washroom. Never came back. I had picked her up and she had a very expensive taxi ride home l assume. Simply put brothers, doesn’t tolerate any BS, ever.
Beautiful
Been there. We got into a relationship. She was 33 and had baby fever, and I think she put me on a timeline. Started talking marriage and babies year one. Started pushing harder in year two, and began REALLY pushing it in year three; that's when it ended.
I've decided never to marry; why become willingly legally bound to another person?
I've met women with ridiculous demands and when you meet enough of them, they get easier to deal with. My favorite way of dealing women pushy about marriage is to look them in the eye and calmly ask "why are you worth marrying?" All women I asked, except for one, gave me the deer in headlights look. The exception said it was because she could have kids.
I haven't tried this one myself I want to find the opportunity nonetheless. If the girl is throwing a fit, calmly gesture towards her behavior and ask her, "is this what marriage with you will be like?" If there's any guys out there that have tried this, how did it go?
Kaptin Barfbeerd women are goddamn nut jobs, but that’s why we love them. Much in the same way some people love swimming with sharks.
If a woman gives you an ultimatum she already thinks low of you.
To date, my parents have a successful marriage & I've always wanted that growing up. Being older now, I realise what is involved in maintaining a healthy commitment & "why" coaches will always say "don't shack up with crazy" & don't succumb to ultimatums or other manipulative tactics.
In order to avoid any confusion or being used down the track, the topic of marriage, commitment & babies need to be discussed early on in new relationships to see if two people are on the same page & are heading in the same direction in life. I'm realizing now you can't change people's minds & do you really want to waste your time doing so?
Anyway, another great video Rich! 🙌
When you get the ultimatum it's time to show her the door. Something ain't right. You don't have to know what it is, you just need to end it. Never, ever, get pushed into something, especially marriage.
Back in 2016 I had a relationship with a woman who was two years older than me. During the third month she told me ''When are you gonna marry me?''. I instantly made up my mind that she was worthless and stayed about three months more in order to find out what was going on with her just out of curiosity(and for banging her of course). She had a LOT of daddy issues,past issues(the ''unlucky'' type),she tried to distant me from my friends and my family and she was flirting with other guys. When I broke up with her she threatened me and after a while she tried to win me back by changing her behavior. For about a year she was stalking me until she finally realised that it was over. This was my last relationship and I do not intend to get involved with a woman again.
Majima Mike I’ve been through that “her trying to change her behavior” phase. It’s all bullshit.
She will change, and she will be better for it, but the underlying issues are still there. It’s like covering a mound of shit with glitter.
Since getting married (more than 17 years ago) suicide sounds like a great release. Some call it cowardice, those in the fog see it as a welcome rest from the self made hell that society railroads you into, and our father's never warned us about. I don't say women are the enemy, no more than then venomous rattlesnake that bites you when you stumble on its nest.....it's a lack of understanding on my part of the true nature of the female of the species. This isn't a cry for help, and I'm not looking for sympathy, my eyes are open and I have my answers, good luck finding yours.
If you don't like the movie get up and leave
We remove the dust from the object and not the opposite. DO NOT remove the object from underneath the dust!
Never had those dark thoughts but my life wasn't very good 20 years ago. Having everything to nothing in 6 years was worth the peace of mind and serenity. You can't put a price on happiness.
She ain't important enough to top yourself, walk away man. There was this guy in my folks church, committed suicide at 83, been married 61 years and in his note he just said he'd had enough of the nagging and bitching. That event is etched in my mind and have acted according.
just walk buddy, she is NOT worth your life.
jim
Make plans to relocate to another country.
I dodged this exact bullet about 5 months ago after a 4 year relationship. I decided from the beginning I would be bullied or pressured into nothing. I stood my ground and that relationship went into a flat spin. EJECT! EJECT! EJECT! She's already got some other fool she's working on and I'm doing the work becoming a better version of myself. Now I'm 33 and leveling up with no extra weight, our SMV's have inverted.
certainly got all the cliches happening, might have been the best for both you
Dating is sometimes like going to a used car dealership. Expect the following: They fast talk, gloss over the fine print, omit the service history and make promises like a politician.
All you have to do is sign on the dotted line. This is especially directed at the Settler. That’s a guy they settle for just to meet their hidden agenda.
I enjoy your videos so much more when you are in cars. lol I mean, messages are great regardless, but something about you driving around explaining Man-Life is great. I do a lot of self-reflection while driving because it is when I am truly alone most. So, when I see you driving around while explaining these things, it hits home.
If she gives you an ultimatum and you DO love her and think you may want to marry her someday, then throw that back on her by saying you'd require a legal prenuptial agreement and also an ongoing post nuptial agreement to be renewed throughout the marriage at various times that major circumstances change - such as the acquisition of property, birth of each child, etc... THEN see if she takes back her ultimatum OR see if she leaves screaming 😂😁😆
Actually I think that marriage, as we know it, should automatically have a prenuptial agreement required by law. This would prevent a lot of marriages from taking place and if she agrees to it, then you will know she is open to being reasonable.
@@GBU61 I got one nothing different then the standing law. Just so she can't turn back and say she didn't know how law works in Canada. She was mad for a day then got over it...
You verbalized my thoughts and experiences exactly. I even use the same phrases. Spot on sobering video for anyone with marital glasses on.
This!!! 8:22 the persona flip flop. The tactfulness is deceiving, going into marriage as well as the exit.
Is it weird that I still like blue pill music? The other day Air Supply came on and I rocked that shit hard. No F’s were given that day.
Not weird at all man! Air Supply rocks! But gotta admit i try not to focus on the lyrics anymore, to much cringe. Unlike women, good music makes life worth living.
30 years in I got divorced (her choice) from a so-called Christian woman with a solid family background. From that perspective, know this: 1) Do not under any circumstances marry any girl who has had more than 0-2 prior sexual partners (ideally it's 0). They lose their ability to pair bond if they've had more than 1-2 sexual partners, and you will always be "just another guy" to her--not her life partner. Practically speaking this means you will have to marry someone who is in her teens, or very religious, at least in Western society. 2) If you want to get married in the US, live in a "no alimony" state like Texas. If you want to have kids, live in Israel or a Muslim country, or the Philippines. Even "good" woman change after menopause, and thus they are always looking for a better deal and will kick you to the curb if they think they have one locked up. And there is nothing worse than being given limited access to your kids--NOTHING. 3) Women can't love you the way you can love them--marriage is just a business transaction for them (they will hitch themselves to whoever they think can give them the best deal under the circumstances). So always be prepared for the dump, emotionally and financially, no matter how good you think you currently have it. I married my wife with the express understanding that divorce would never be an option. She lied. 4) Never marry a woman on the rebound--always wait at least one solid year before even talking about marriage with a woman who's been recently dumped in a relationship. They are unstable during this time and will say or do anything to be re-validated. 5) The great majority of women are only logical when it comes to calculating their finances/resources. On virtually every other topic they "think" with their emotions, and the more you argue with them logically, the more they retreat into their emotions and eventually communication becomes impossible (which means the end of the relationship is certain). 6) If you are middle class or above, ALWAYS set aside money each paycheck that is fully hidden and non traceable (e.g., gold in the ground or bitcoin)--you can thank me for this tip after the divorce court tries to rape you but only gets "some" of your money because you were smart. 7) Never marry a girl who was previously married--your chance of failure at least in the US is 75% (those are terrible odds). And see no. 1 above. 8) Control your wife's friends early on--only let her have happily married friends. Don't let her work in an a toxic environment full of divorced or promiscuous females and/or males--work environment is more important than the money she brings in. And no male friends, under any circumstances. If you think this will be impossible, DO NOT MARRY that woman. Male friends will validate her independently of you, constantly try to get in her pants, and be a sympathetic sounding board to her (you are always the bad guy in every argument). Single female friends will be the same (minus trying to get into her pants) plus jealous of her relationship with you and try to sabotage it--misery loves company. 9) You will be happier and have more peace of mind if you marry a 5 or 6. 7s and above will always be attracting the attention (and validation) of other men, and thus constantly tempt her hypergamous nature. And if the right guy comes along (handsome, wealthier, and more interesting than you) there is a good chance she will jump ship. 10) Have you own life, even in a long term marriage (frame, as Rich calls it). NEVER participate in her frame except on rare (once or twice a year) occasions. You will eventually become dull/uninteresting to her if she and your kids are your only focus in life.
I was with my high school sweetheart to whom I was her first. I figured out somewhere along the line that I wanted no kids and no marriage. After 18 years, 5 living together, she gave me the "...get off the pot" talk along with her timeline for kids, how many, house size, ring size etc. I got off the pot. She had gotten obese from quitting smoking had a shopping addiction, was very masculine energy, none of which she had when we started. I had a rebound relationship that made it easier (did not cheat) but leaving after that long was still the hardest thing I ever did in my life. We both cried a lot but I am glad now that I took the bullet then. Even though I did it I still don't know if I would have the strength to do it again. I learned that if it's not "Hell yes!" it is "no" and you owe it to them to act on that. She's been married and had the kid she wanted since about 2 years after we split and I'm happy for her.
Coming across this channel at 19 years old is a god send.
All chicks are divorced with kids these days
Not all...but most are, yes.
K N I know they arent all like that but i typed that when i realized how many single moms i know, i come from a small town so its easy to know everyone
@@OnsideHaddock72 Small towns are rough! I'm in a midsize Midwest city of maybe 500k (close to a million is suburbs are counted) and its STILL brutal out there especially the older we get. I don't have children and men seem to be confused by that. 🤔 haha. I actually went on two dates with a guy (we're in our 40s) and he told me he wants another baby! He had a son starting college and he wants another!!!! So he never called me again after I told him I wasn't interested in that. In fact it's funny but honestly, I've known as many men over the years with "baby rabies" as women! Seriously not kidding 🙄 I really think the bottom line is, dating sucks for all of us :)
***I wanted to add I saw an ad for a show on TV called "Village of the Damned" and I started laughing thinking....Oh they MUST be talking about my town! 😁
Single motherhood is the new norm these days in the West. We live in a broken society.
By choice. Then they realize they messed up bigly pushing away the best men they could get when they were younger but only time teaches them, then it's too late, sad
I was given this ultimatum 2 years in a relationship with a 26 year old. I settled to have a child with her which eventually back fired. After 7 years we are not together anymore. She is 33 now and desperately looking for any man that's "good enough" to marry and settle down. It's sad because I was not true to myself. Now I have a child with a woman that was knew was no good for me and he has to suffer because of it.
got my.ex wanting cohabitation and marriage really bad. we broke up and few weeks later she had a new bf. as i sensed that before it happend she was about having someone, not me. trust your guts gentlemen.
When it comes to marriage you are one decision away from signing your own death sentence! Great vid Coop
"Introduce stress into the relationship" that's a really good pragmatic $h*t test for wahmen!
2:01 Fucking Hell..let’s not ignore how big that Truck is 😂 lmao..how the fk do you even drive that sh
I love the intro with those dramatic manual gear shift cuts 😂
I know it's supposed to make you look masculine and alpha but outside US all grandma drive a manual transmission car lol.
Wrong. In Europe manuel gears is for men n harder to drive, automatic is for pussies n old people
I'm 28 and been with my girl for 6 years still not marrying until I'm fully comfortable . Luckily she know and is ok with me not buying a stupid diamond ring .
Excellent upload Richie! Very helpful to many people, certainly a dent in this warped universe.
That "Gate Keeper" line was neat.
I've heard similar when a woman says we F who we want, Men F who they can.
which is met with Woman marry who they can but Men marry who they want.
but like you said we spend no time vetting the person who can use the court against us in every way
Great video Rich, I started a business last month and shortly after got the ultimatum... i look at it as more time to focus on my business
I love you man, I m this situation,thank you so much
Great advice and hard to hear for alot of guys. But just walk away believe me you'll look back and think "wow dodged that bullet". I made wrong decision and gave in sacrificing 10 years to horrible marriage. I get so mad at myself everytime I think about it. Wish I'd found people like Richard when I was younger.
I so needed this right now Rich, dating a 50yo woman for past 3 years single mother of 2 teenagers, she is financially insecure. Got this ultimatum marry me in 3 yrs or im out. Well too many red flags and just let her walk. She has a new chump now she is trying to lock down.
Narrative and lyric are RIch’s favorite words
Sound byte
We all have one or two of our own
Havent watched the video yet but already laughing.Had this happen several times in my life but just kept following my own path.Look back sometimes and wonder what if .However on my sixth decade now still following my dreams,my adventures,my purpose.Never had more clarity nor more reason to pursue life.
xenobiotics Lying eyes I needed to hear this, how about making a channel for us in our 40’s and mentor us.
LOL!: "eggs are drying up every month"
7:33 to 7:39 No truer words have been spoken. Listen to these words my brothers. King Richard dropping the cold hard knowledge facts. Bravo Richard. Peace !
2:04 GEZUS, how fast is that truck going?
Rich is crawling along, concentrating on making a video.
"Man up and ruin your life." What for? To please her. Hell no!!!! "Plan up and save your life" is more like it.
Almost happened to me years ago. She had baby rabies, I was just starting out on a new career and not making good money. I could not see myself supporting a family with what I made. So I told her that she would be better off with someone else. She found someone else and had 2 kids, I continued with my career and became a millionaire with no kids. Would I liked to have kids with her, yes, but I was not ready. Looking back on the high amount of others failed marriages I am thinking that mine may have failed also. I do not want to deal with the lawyers, property division, emotional, child support payment hassles.
Religious women get baby rabies very young (early 20's). Former orthodox jew here.
That's one of the reason why I want to marry a religious young woman. :) Because they do not want carrier, they want a big family.
I live in the Bible belt, and PLENTY of Christian girls want babies at 20 years old.
These catholic broads are the same way
So do most Hispanics and African Americans.
Perfect .. those are the women to choose to give your seed. Why? Genetics no 25-30 can give you a good child.
Did it.......Went through HELL!! Had to fight like hell too against the system.
From what I've seen, it's usually an attempt to get a man to make a decision that is often not in his best interests but is in hers. Always be going in your own direction; if she's going the same, she can tag along but you don't give up your well-being and happiness because of her selfishness.
Well said brother. 👍
Always be going in your own direction...AND always be ready to JETTISON her at any moment, if she's not willing to walk down the same path with you.