Are We Moving?
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 29 ก.ย. 2024
- Are we moving? Jess mentions moving very frequently, so I get this question A LOT.
If you like our video, please help out our channel by giving it a thumbs up 👍🏻 and letting us know in the comments below. Also, please remember to subscribe and click the bell icon 🔔 to be notified every time we upload a new video. #restaurantreview #autismfamily #foodfun #eatingout
WHERE YOU CAN FIND US:
BLOG: autisticinterp...
INSTAGRAM: / autistic_interpretations
MERCH: goodpoochbadpo...
Jess is 34-years-old, autistic, and blind. Her favorite topics of conversation include getting a new dog, her friend Keely, her Aunt Sue, and cousin Donna. Jess collects CD’s of children’s music, cards, coloring books, and has a small collection of used up disposable cameras that she refuses to get developed. Favorite health foods include chicken and rice, chicken tenders, chicken nuggets, chicken biscuits, pepperoni pizza, and hash brown potatoes. Jess has naturally curly hair that she would rather not ever comb, brush, or cut.
Jessica’s multiple disabilities stem from brain damage that occurred in-utero, and from hydrocephalus. In addition to autism and blindness, Jess also has minor fine motor and gross motor deficits. Hannah is Jessica's sister, and Marlow is Jessica's paid support staff (and Hannah's best friend.)
To me it’s a reframing of what the question means. To most people “are we moving?” “Yes” means you’ve got a plan and it’ll be completed in a timely fashion. It helps to know with videos like this that, for Jessica, it means something different. I wish people would just sit and listen and process rather than jump on you for “letting” her feel/think/react a certain way. People, mama knows best. Always and forever. So be kind!
Exactly! Perfectly said. Mama knows best 🙌
Does Jess ever think of marriage or having children?
I just love how she has come such a longggg way with your help!
I dont think ANYONE could have done what you all have done, to help her be as independent and social as she is!
God bless you All always! ❤️🕊🙏🕊
God-bless you Val… not only are you incredibly patient with Jessica you also are incredibly patient with all the people who follow you… it just seems to be the day of judgment everyone has something to say sbout what everyone else is doing spending way too much time judging on the outside instead of looking on the inside .... I've learned so much from you and your wonderful family.....tender. gentle love you all give...is something to see
Yesss Kathy yep yep yep!!
We all day dream about something in our lives...a new car, a different job, getting a pet, having a boy/girl friend, moving etc. Most of us day dream in our minds, but Jessica day dreams out loud. There is nothing wrong with day dreaming out loud with family.
Zoe got up on the couch to look for all of those people we just saw. Lol
Some people just need to worry about themselves, move or not shouldn’t be of concern to anyone. You do an awesome job of keeping Jess in a happy place💛
@@richardjohns1215 I don’t think it is that she doesn’t like the questions. She is just explaining to us about the how and why of their communication.
@@richardjohns1215 I don't think it's the questions that bother her; it's the judgement that sometimes comes along with them. Most questions are well meant, and I know Val is fine with answering them because her goal is to educate. It's the judgmental ones who need to back off.
Makes so much sense to me. She seems to just reassurance. And there is nothing wrong with. I feel the answer even if a white lie, is much better than the stress of your mind and body. Stress makes us more prone to illnesses and wears on the body. Plus it’s noneya to those haters lol
Amen to YOU Val, thank you for being so gracious in answering what people deem as their business. like I say, walk in my shoes ONE DAY, just one day. Asking is fine, adding your 2 cents ( not you ) is not an option.
Val is a very gracious lady,isn't she. I appreciate her comments.
I don't know why people question about how you and Jessica talk about things. That's how they communicate. With an autism child, you have to find different ways of getting along, otherwise the family members will go crazy. I'm just so proud of how they treat her. No violence whatsoever.
Mama knows how to keep the house balanced. Share a little and people feel their opinion needs to be heard. Thank you for sharing Jess with us💗💗
People need to just chill…. Momma knows best! I love to see Jessica talking about it, looking at houses…. Makes her happy, makes me happy! Love you guys! 🥰🥰♥️♥️
Whew, yes they do!!!
I understand caring but some folks are overly offended and invested as if it were their right to be in the loop for every matter at hand.
Just chill, take the ride and enjoy it. Just because someone shares tidbits of their lives online does not mean every aspect of their life has to be public knowledge. Sheesh
Yet Val so calmly and tenderly addresses these matters. The patience and communication skills she’s acquired as a Mama come in handy dealing with the lot of questioners.
Hello Val
This video is my life. My 8 year old son has no grey area as well. He is so literal and gets very confused by what we call in between the line maybe or later don’t work. He doesn’t get mad but he gets confused because it’s up in the air with uncertainty for him. I have family who don’t understand this. They think because of his age or having autism he can be demanding because he wants to know when. Soon, later, or not sure confuse him. Time frames don’t really matter example this week, next year or 10 years from now he is good with. I just want to know that I understand. I get it. You are not alone. Thank you for making this video as I don’t really think about this as it’s a normal way of life for us. God bless 🇨🇦
❤️❤️
You're buying one of those million dollar houses in Flintstone with an indoor pool and all the stuff right? Lol in the far, far, far, far future. It's not a big deal if you tell Jessica you're moving, it gives her something to think about and get excited for. I hope you all find your dream home one day.
Tell em all it's NONEYA!!! 🥰
sorry when you say bad daddy I don't know what that means . will it help jess to understand better when you say that housing market isn't good right now . or you can say I have praying about moving just say don't bring up moving again . I could be wrong I don't know but i do see where the both of you are coming from
Bad daddy is Jessica’s father. They have a long running game “good one, bad one”
Sweetie don’t let what others “think or do” trouble you in any way… just do whatever works to bring peace to you and Jess. You and your family are all that matters 😉. I can only imagine the turmoil you encounter daily and whatever brings peace to your world hun DO IT!!…And girl DO IT OFTEN!!! How you answer YOUR child is YOUR BUSINESS!! Dust off that ole delete button and put it to use Val😂 cause there’s plenty of us with nothing but love and positivity ❤️😊❤️that will always be here. As I’ve said before Jess makes my heart smile… and so do you😊
Just respond to nosy judgmental questions with “noneya”! 😀
I love the video and really understand where your coming from. I’m autistic and will be moving too. Like yourselves sometime in the next few years, give or take a year or two. Nothing is concrete no details I just know that it is going to happen… someday.
It allows my anxiety to ease it means I can do some pre-planning (so less anxiety). I can get rid of things over a longer period of time (again… less anxiety). It really helps me to acclimate and better handle it when it comes (yup… less anxiety again). Many more things that fall into this box of just knowing its going to happen leaves me in a better spot. But its not just about the “simple anxiety” relief there is a *whole* bunch of other issues and things. Its more than just anxiety.
I don’t need a bigger house but I do need laundry and my bedroom and bathroom on the same floor. (I have chronic mobile issues.)
Best wishes with your future move. 😊
Makes perfect sense some people dont understand what u have to do to maintain the stability of her mind
Love your hair look really good on u
Agree!
Good planning for a single level home. I have a bonus room upstairs. As I have gotten older, my grown kids insist I don’t try to go upstairs anymore. So I don’t. And that’s a room that never gets used anymore. I can’t risk a fall. I never thought I’d see the day I couldn’t manage stairs. Well, here it is.
Val i love that you try to educate. But you really don't owe rude people any explanations about you or Jess.
First hi val hi jess
I totally get it. I think it’s good to have plans even if they aren’t all solidified. We’ve live in the same house for 41 years so moving for me is the opposite I can’t even wrap my head around it. Will we …. Probably … when? No idea. Where? Not a clue.
It does make sense, I always need concrete answers or my anxiety will tear me apart, autism and vagueness do not mix
Well said Val, perfect as usual 😊.....hopefully people will "Get it" now. How people couldn't figure out what you were doing in the way you answer Jess, boggles my mind. If you take a minute to actually listen to "How" you word what you say to her you can figure it out. You can tell even quick answers have been thought thru and "tested" for lack of a better word, for years. Even the tone in your voice speaks volumes. Hannah, I've noticed, does the exact same thing in the way she talks to and answers Jessica. If it gives Jessica a sense of peace, that's what matters.
Why should it matter? If it pacifies Jess and the time that’s one mole hill dodged at that time until the next time around. Why is it any different when she talks about living on her own having her own apt. Being a nurse there are positive responses to her then too because that’s never going to happen but it pacifies her and makes her happy at the moment just thinking it might happen.
Question: The face patting I know it’s a stem that she’s doing. How do you cope with her doing it? That would drive me insane or has it just become routine. Does she mainly just pat you or just people that she’s close with.
It's nobody's business what you do or say in your life, in or about your own home or what you say to Jessica. I don't understand why people think they're in charge or why they they think they get any say so or why they think what they say matters in regards to you and yours. You do what you want, as always. Love you guys. ❤️ Congratulations to Bad Daddy on his retirement. ❤️🙌
You are absolutely amazing …… till someone walks in your shoes you do the things that work for you and Jess !
Thank you Val , for all your questions and answers, we out there hope we did not ask to many questions, i think most of us understand. Now those questions have been put to rest. You are so sweet and all our prayers go out to you,for a wonderful loving mother that you are. My mother has been gone for two years now , and I really miss her. She was so much like you , so loving and patient. Hope you stay strong and healthy. We always look forward to your videos. Love you all
Hilarious editing, Val. So when are you moving again?
😄
Makes absolute perfect sense. You are awesome Val 😍
You are the coolest lady ever! A friend of mine quoted nothing weirder than people. I hope you can afford a great house with a pool. I was laying in my quote unquote lazy River pool in my tubing raft, thinking of Jessica and how much fun she would have. Love your family🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🦴
Val, I don’t think it’s anybody’s business but yours if you’re moving or not😜
I love the special fx. Lol keep being you. You are the Jess specialist.love y'all just the way you are.🥰😂
Sounds like a perfect plan!❤️
After learning this was a hobby or a future goal. I think its very important to keep talking to her about it as with Autistic people change is not welcomed and doesn't come easy. So since she knows what you are looking for I think she is okay with it not happening as much as it will happen. Come buy my house it has a pool , is multi -gen and feneced and and and I want out of it :) HAHA . Jess have you seen the smart cane for the blind I got an ad today it one .
i think if u can do all these things being a content creater people get jealous thats all it is good luck to u all xx
i love youer video how are you
MAyAQeeN
Thanks for sharing your insights. I wonder if the concrete "yes" answer also helps prepare Jess for the eventual changes a move would bring about. It's a long-term desensitization, which makes perfect sense. I'm wowed and awed by your videos that help us understand the specialness of your family. ❤
You are so incredibly patient. My question is in the mean time before you do move.. will you get a bigger pool for Jessica? Or will she be content with another blow up one? She seems content from the videos but I also hear her talk about one she doesn’t need to blow up…. Just curious…
Next question: pumpkin spice latte or apple crisp??? LOL
Apple crisp! I’m going to get a biggish dog pool since the pooches constantly jump in and out. Jessica’s main joy is running the hose, and she can do that in a dog pool just as well. 😄
Tried the “hot apple crisp”. Have to try the cold next! Thanks for helping me decide lol
I understand what you’re saying. You guys need to move to Kentucky. I would enjoy you guys so so much. I love to hear hear her say I’m going to look for some houses Mom. I loved when she said we need a in door and outdoor pool Mom. Well I’ve seen those in ground pools where you can swim inside and then it goes outside that would be a great pool all in one.
Val, I totally get it!! You are do amazing! God bless you & yours!😁😷🤗😇🙏🙏🙏❤️👍
I LOVE concrete, literal answers. Additionally, I generally tend to take all answers literally (whether they were intended that way or not). I don’t like surprises (in terms of what’s coming in life; a surprise party wouldn’t be terrible, though), and I don’t like change. Some people just like knowing what’s coming; it’s incredibly reassuring, especially for folks with anxiety.
Well said Val,my Son and I have moved about the same amount of times as you but now my Son is 42yr old we aren't moving again....
I hope when the time is right you find a new home thats right for all of you thanks for another good Question and Answer time 💗
Well I don't think there's anything wrong with that at all! Heck I dream about a bigger apartment (sometime)
Thank you for explaining. It makes sense.
I have three kids with various learning disabilities and neurodivergent learning, myself included. Two of my three have problems with dealing with absolutes. If I say a minute, it better be not a second before or after a minute. I can’t even use the word, “uh-huh” or I’m asked, does that mean yes. Do you know if Jess struggles with that from ASD or is it the anxiety and anticipation of not knowing? I think it’s a little of both in our house.
Thank you!!! If COVID has taught us anything it's exactly parallel to how you answer Questions! "Will we?" "Yes, eventually" and when we ask the same question again we may consider new circumstances or maybe unchanging circumstances for right now! It's okay to answer the same question with future maybes and hope ... Knowing not right this minute! Right this minute we are in NOW reality buy ask and answer YES! Our real questions become "Can I hope?" ... Yes, Maybe even Hell YES!
Great answer! I love how you answered and explained that.
Its fun to look at houses. Especially them big ones with pools.
Val you have many friends
Anytime you post we are listening
We may not be able to hug but I hug you in my heart. Vent and we will respond. Virtual friendships are a real thing and works so well for so many so
Never feel like you’re alone. My Best Friend has a 20 year old Daughter with Autism so I know
Some of what you endure. 🌸💜🌸
HELLO 🙋 JESS. HOW Y'ALL DOING? IM HAPPY TO WATCH YOUR VIDEOS . YOU ARE SO FUNNY SOMETIMES 😹
I LIKE YOUR WATER DAYS .
ITS FUN!! I LIKE BUBBLES.
DO YOU EVER HAVE BUBBLE DAY?! 😆 ALSO BALLOONS FILLED WITH HELIUM . WE GOT SOME WITH LITES INSIDE EM , AND DO THEY EVER LOOK COOL UP IN THE SKY AT NIGHT ILL BE WATCHING Y'ALL, GOOD ONES FAMILY ♥️ STAY POSITIVE NURSE JESS.💝😻🙋.
Very well explained, Val! As long as it is the truth like you said, then I don't see the issue...doesn't matter when because people have to realize that in Jess's mind it works differently so she is happy just knowing that ya'll are moving period. Like you pointed out, key phrases make her satisfied and that is what you have to do. My mom suffered from Alzheimer's for several years and then passed on New Years Day in 2019 and although it isn't the same as Jess it does deal with the mind and has some similarities. Just like Madison was bringing out. I know we had to say certain things that would satisfy her as well and you can't argue with them. So I totally get it.
I’ve said it before and I will say it again, you are amazing! Thank you for sharing your life with us. ♥️
And I always mean to tell you how much I love your Paisley print sofa!! Wow it’s beautiful! ❤️
It is no one’s business how you talk to your family especially Jess, you explained why you need to answer her questions the way you do, it brings less stress, like you said your not lying or deceiving Jess because at some point you will move at some point you will get a dog or whatever. I’m glad Jess doesn’t need a specific schedule or timeframe, just saying yes helps her than you do what’s best for your child. I have the opposite problem with my daughter who is on the spectrum and is a grown adult, I have to say I’m not sure or I don’t know- if she gets a yes then she needs an exact timeframe and if it doesn’t happen then she gets upset. So in our family if the question were to come up for example are we going to move in my house to keep peace and anxiety down it’s an I don’t know, or I’m not sure. Even small things like are we going to the store today? I have to say I don’t know or I’m not sure because if I say yes I have to say a specific time table like between 1-2 or this afternoon or whatever and if something comes up and we can’t go after I said yes then it’s a temper issue because she doesn’t understand that sometimes things change that we can’t help.. anyway that’s my 2 cents. We all do what we can to help our children feel safe and the least anxious 💜Great job Val in explaining your situation
🌼Those people that are critical of how you care for Jessica, how you talk to her, etc., are the same people that feel the need to put their input into everything! I work at a small business and I see this with customers every day where people try and give us "advice" when the reality is we've tried just about everything, flipped it over and tried it again. Just as you have. You are the ones who care for Jessica and you are the ones who have gone through trial and error of what works and doesn't work for Jessica's entire life. These videos you are making are awesome, Val. I have been following your channel for a couple years now so I understand how and why you do what you do. You and your family are very admirable and it is so refreshing to see the good and the bad. You keep things very honest which I know is helping a lot of people who might be new to this experience. Thank you for your honesty and for sharing your life with us. Watching your videos brings so much comfort 💛
Gaaaahhhhhhhhhh, y’all must be so tired of ppl telling you how to run your lives! Just tell ‘em its NONEYA!!!
I took care of my brother for many years. He had Huntington’s Chorea and had many days that he couldn’t deal with the wrong answers so I gave him the answers he needed to have a better day. When our father died I didn’t know what to do because if I told him there was no way he could have processed it with his mentality at that time. His psychiatrist helped my by telling me it’s not fair to tell someone something that they can’t sort out when they have disabilities like my brother did. This video makes me remember the advice. You run a wonderful home and family. You know Jess - the internet bad ones don’t have any right to have a say so about letting Jess enjoy talking about moving.
❤️❤️
Val you deserve a medal for patients with people. My personal feelings when you tell Jess something it's for a good reason otherwise (not sure of the wording) she will think about it all day and worry. Hope I said that right . I so enjoy all your videos. Thank you
I ask everyday why there are so many negative people out there. Just laugh it off. If it makes Jess happy...go with it!
So if you talked about getting a dog for 10 years before you got one I would think after talking about moving for about 50 years or so you will end up moving. Hey. No need to rush things.
Moving is a big job, and very tiring. I don't plan on moving again, because it's such a big job and I am content where I'm at.
People can be so rude a disrespectful when they don’t understand your way of living! I know this from my own perspective having a disability and being in a wheelchair but listening to your stories it’s the same but it’s not if that makes any sense.
You are amazing val!
You tell her the truth...just not what she wants to hear!
I love your channel and just to let you know that jess makes me smile every day.
I am from Canada....a city caloed peterborough ontario.
Life isn't easy at the best of times. But you never cease to amaze me.
I'll never understand why people are so interested with others personal business, but that's what TH-cam is all about.
Thanks for sharing ❤
Just don't know how you ever did it Val with out the people's help...lol.....😛
😄
Hannah made herself Beyoncé, that made me laugh.
You look gorgeous today! Perfect answer!
Your hair looks so pretty today Val!
You guys need to build a house with 2master suites.
How exciting
Will you or have you already (might have missed it) do a video about Jessica’s food insecurities? I know I’ve heard you mention there are reasons Jessica eats so fast, but wasn’t sure if there was a video about it? ♥️
I will do one.
Thank you. I know this isn’t something you have to share, but so helpful and meaningful that you do. ♥️
🤣🤣🤣🤣 everyone is there!!! 🙏♥️🦋🦋
People need to mind their business
❤️❤️❤️❤️, Val and YEAAA for Bad Daddy❤️
Great video Val-it saddens me that you need explain this issue-however, you do it with such grace and eloquence! You have so much patience!! Far more than me🤣😆 ps-I love your hair like this!!
Thank you!
❤️❤️
The edits on this video🤣🤣🤣
Hi. My name is Lauren. I’ve recently discovered your TH-cam page. I have a few questions. 1. How old is Jessica? 2. I thought Bad Daddy is her father, living in the home. Is he just a family friend or close relative?
You are are so sweet! Sending ❤️ from Missouri!!
Hi Lauren. Jess is 34. Baddaddy is her dad. He lives nearby and visits often.
I WOULD LOVE to have nothing better to do than pick apart how someone handles THEIR child 😂 Obviously some people need a hobby other than watching videos 😂 Yep, I said what I said 🤷♀️
😄
Oh Val I live in your world. My 39 year old son is blind and autistic. It is so much better keeping conversation black and white, no gray areas. Our conversing is very enjoyable even though repetitive when we talk facts, not if’s or maybe. Do what is good for Jess and don’t you mind what people think or ask. You are doing great.
❤️
I love your hair like that!
Jayda is the same way #autismrules💙
Hello Val from Charlotte NC
I’m from Charlotte too! 👋
@@CCBeanzzz I am born and raised in Charlotte
I was going to ask that to
My son is 15 and has autism and had brain cancer 2 times. We have to do the same thing with him. If he asks can we do something and we say yes. He will ask every day and worry and stress until he knows when. So have to give him a literal answer and try to make him relax. I watch you and Jess and it reminds me so much of what I go thru with him. We love you all so much!!
❤️
I’m on that has asked but j because I’m curious, never to question why you say yes to Jess. I understand saying ‘yes’ because it’s the easiest answer for the peace of everyone in the house
❤️
Perfect thinking getting a one floor home! That will come in handy one day for Jess also.
What puzzles me is, why would you need a multi home when Hannah will be married someday most likely
And Marlo probably will move on with a husband also.
I can see you getting a bigger home with multi bedrooms (one a office😬), for when everyone comes in and out.
I think my home is fairly big until all my grandkids and kids are here all at once 😳 lol
I wouldn’t worry about what ppl think what you tell Jess, when they live in your shoes for awhile then just maybe they could give an opinion lol
Btw--your hair and makeup looks very nice ❤️
Don't see Hannah leaving Jess in a hurry tho if smethg happens to their parents
@@kezza82 well I didn’t mean her leaving Jess, but she will have a life also hopefully one day!! If something happens to their parents Hannah will keep Jess not a doubt!! Just like my older sons, they have a family and a life, but something happens to us they will care for my younger son ❤️.
She explains it in the video
😮😮😮😮😮
❤️❤️❤️👌
As long as Jess is calm and not anxious, that's what matters. If it takes constant reassurance, then so be it.
I was always anxious as a child, when my mother said we would do something, and she changed her mind at the last minute.
I agree with you with the way you are handling this, that is the way we do things in our house. How fun to have a house big enough you all could be in but still have your spaces just meet for meals. Meaning all - Val, Jesse, Hannah, Marlowe, Bad Daddy, Grandma and Grandpa I have it pictured not sure what the set up would be. Like houses inside of houses
Val, I'm glad you cleared up my mind. I guess I didn't see the parties Darryl came in the picture, Because I thought Darryl WAS Jessica's dog until today. Thanks for clearing up my my mind.
Makes perfect sense sweetheart, people need to mind their own business, just because your kind enough to share your lovely lives with us on here it don't give people the right so interfer with the way you speak to jess and the way you share information with Jess, it make some angry that people come on here to be judgemental towards you, makes my blood boil. Your a brilliant mum sweetheart truly you are 🥰🥰😍😍 xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Val, you don’t have to validate what you do, how you choose to raise Jess! You do what works for you and your family and to heck with every one else! Your life your business! Don’t let ppl try to push their views and their actions on to you! You are wonderful !
“Literal and Definite” is ABSOLUTELY the answer for Jess. The time frame is nobody’s business but YOUR OWN!!! 😍🐬🦋🦋🙏🥰🎶♥️
So funny. I'm a military brat and that was *always* the answer. Yep, we're moving. Don't know when or where but we will move! I've been in my house 10 years and it killing me - I keep asking the mister when are we moving!