How to Handle Your Partner's Wandering Eye
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 7 ก.ย. 2024
- You’ve just noticed your partner noticing somebody else. Is this cause for alarm? What should you do? Here’s how to counter your partners wondering eye with acumen and confidence. For more on this topic: My interview with International Business Times TV/Medical Daily: The Wandering Eye: Why We Check Other People Out In Front Of Our Partner video.ibt.com/w...
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I've noticed that nothing works, and they always deny deny deny. The best thing to do is to not be with that person. If they are that desperate for other women let em go.
Then you will not be with any person. All men look at beautiful women, their body is programmed to do it. How do you think he found you?
Mark Edwards okay Mark, I told my ex it doesn’t bother me if he looks once and holds it there for a few seconds. Or maybe even another quick glance. I look at attractive people myself. But when he did it continuously, right in front of me, don’t you think that’s disrespectful? We know why y’all are doing it. Men are driven visually, sexually. So it’s just disrespectful to keep doing it. If the roles were reversed and you knew your lady was looking at a man in a sexual manner, wouldn’t you feel hurt and disrespected?
@@kelley804 You know what the definition of insanity is, it is when you go out, do exactly the same thing again, all the while expecting a totally different outcome. So when you find your next guy after leaving/divorcing this guy, what are you going to do this next time that you did not do last time? I know what your guy you dump might do, he might never get remarried again, thinking women are impossible. But what might you do? Quizzing him in advance won't work. Make him sign a "Don't look at women", prenup? I would say, to get what you want, really, you need to go dump your current guy and go get an uglier, less successful guy, who won't get looks from hot women. You need to get a 5 instead of a 9. Deep down, you know I'm right!
@@markedwards7721 Not only that, but divorcing a husband and marrying another one, is adultery. Matt 5:32
Mark Edwards lol well I turned out to be right, and that kind of disrespectful behavior was a symptom/foreshadowing of cheating. He was talking dirty to women online our whole relationship.
I didn’t say he couldn’t look at other women. But GAWKING in front of me? Can you wait until I’m not in the room? I’ve been with guys who didn’t have that problem so it’s not all of you that are clueless. If you can’t do one simple thing not to make me feel like shit, I’ll just stay single. Because if someone I claimed to love told me something I did hurt them, I would stop.
I just ended a relationship due to this. It’s a lack of respect .
No! It is total insecurity on your part. Polygamy is Biblical. Jealousy is an act of the sinful nature.
@@danieldeluca4936 daniel get a life sweet heart this is not bible study
@@danieldeluca4936 why is it that statistically there are more men than women ? is it because god wants men to be polygamous and the rest to be gay and marry each other ? even if everyman was monogaamous there will still be 6million men extra in the world check the statistics cutie
@@noshkainteriors66 China's One child policy and India's female infanticide led to this. Statistically, we should not be seeing 105 males for every 100 girls born, but this was a deliberate act on the part of the globalists. It is NOT a good reason to forbid polygamy. When the Chinese men get older, the balance will eventually occur, as they stopped their atrocious policy. Those old Chinese dudes will have to marry teenagers, but you know, you reap what you sow.
@@noshkainteriors66 I have a life with a wife, and hopefully a second one as well, as soon as I can get my wife to agree to it.
I remember when I was pregnant, I was talking to my partner and all of a sudden he started actually slurring his speech (almost drooling) and watched as three really attractive girls walked by in the street. I can't tell you how angry, shocked, I hurt and jealous I felt at that moment. It was horrible. I still looked very attractive myself as I always made an effort but catching him doing that has got to be the most hurtful thing ever considering I was carrying his child. I confronted him and his response was "what the hell are you talking about?!! What women?!! I wasn't looking at anyone!!"
But the only reason I looked behind me was because that's where his attention went and he had completely zoned out of our conversation. I looked behind me to see three stunning women and he was almost drooling. I felt sick and still do when I think about it. :(
He’s a pig 🐽 and he is not going to change get use to it
What are you standing out in public people watching for, if he is not allowed to do it? If you are in a relationship and cannot look at others, you should not be going out to clubs any more.
Jealousy is an act of the sinful nature.
@@Irispia97 How would you know that her partner was a pig. Pigs don't talk! Stop calling humans pigs! That is uncalled for! That is the sort of thing radical IMuslims do.
@@markedwards7721 noone said that people in a relationship should be allowed to go to clubs. Of course the club is not meant for people in a relationship
the worst is when they DENY IT and say what girl i wasnt looking at at her or I DIDNT EVEN NOTICE HER... F that dump him PERIOD!!!
it's because it's true men don't really pay attention to what they look at all day
I have learned to reply that jealousy is an act of the sinful nature Gal 5.
that is called gaslighting
@@noshkainteriors66 Oh Whatever!
When you date a guy does that give you the right to control him? You assume it does, I guess, like so many women do you know! You are doomed to a lifetime of guy-dumping !!! But is controlling a man the reward of a woman's life? If he does what you want, you will become disinterested, and start looking for a a real man, a man who cannot be controlled (which is what women find sexy) If a man cannot look at a beautiful woman, he is not a man and not living a life.
Never trust a guy with wandering eyes
But it's that same wandering that landed *you*.
Polygamy is Biblical.
All guys are
@@markedwards7721 You were single at that time and it's ok to do that then because you're "shopping" for a woman. When you're in a relationship already....not so much.
Never trust a girl with wondering eyes.
To sum this up. When a guy is in a monogamous relationship of sort and has wondering eyes, he's curious about that individual sexually wether he's with you or not. It's really bad if he's with you. Dump him!!!! He's not worthy of your unconditional love ❤️. On the other hand, if you don't love him then don't worry about it😐.
It's not about love it's about respect. I can do better!
Monogamy is one form of marriage, and dumping him, is not Biblically acceptable on those grounds.
Right, I think this is where it gets us, we fear that they have a curiosity outside of us or maybe understand that. That is why their being honest about what they want in the first place or whenever what they want changes is so important, though I think the problem is that people dislike feeling guilty if they do something or want something that they feel they should not so they then lie.
Very wise words , Susan . Mutual respect is the key to any relationship . I would never ever do that to my partner- even in my dreams . If my mind is focused on outside interests and distractions , I would not be able to concentrate on her . A loving relationship requires a total commitment . She cannot merely be one of my many interests and hobbies . She must be my focus and love of my life . Such a life paves way for ultimate fulfillment . Otherwise its neither here nor there and we will be sitting on a rocky boat wandering . Thank you Susan , for bringing up this insightful message .
Thank you for this wise commentary, Sharath: "A loving relationship requires a total commitment . She cannot merely be one of my many interests and hobbies . She must be my focus and love of my life ." I'm pleased every time I read one of your comments!
Thank you , Susan . So glad to hear this from you .May be since my love is a hard earned one and there were many challenges , I am able to value and respect what I have . Also I am lucky to be connected with great people like you .
Sharath Suma 😊😊😊
🤗 Susan .
@@sharathsuma7556wow man🙏
It’s a matter of respect wandering eyes are very disrespectful.I wouldn’t do it to my significant other so why would they want to do it to me.. it makes u feel less than, it’s very hurtful and if u start to feel like that maybe it’s time to move on and find someone who will respect u
Exactly..
Very true & good advice
For me, I find it embarrassing. My boyfriend is very obvious and other people see him doing it.
My partner always denied it and says I know how he feels about eye contact 🙄,I make it known when I feel he looks too long or is too friendly ,and remind him just how easy it will be to walk away even with toddlers I won't hesitate not one moment ,he begs and begs and begs ,but I deserve respect and he seems to be taking me more seriously now that I have made it clear that there will be someone out there for me who will respect me enough
@@ms.bubs4fun506 And they feel sorry for you having such a disrespectful man. He shames himself and you. dump him and find a better man.
Oh my Gosh, i have been there so many times is painful to remember. A touchy subject indeed, i now know i don't have to put up with any behavior i don't feel confortable with. I learned to say what i was feeling once, if it happenend again i would just walk away from the relationship, because Susan that type of behavior is there to stay.
Viviana, you are correct. Whether it's immaturity, insecurity, or ignorance-you don't need a partner that has any of those characteristics.
@@SusanWinter The insecurity is on the part of Viviana. Monogamy is the culprit. What if men walked away from every woman that nagged them more than once?
@@danieldeluca4936 dont mess up and you wont get nagged
@@lovelyscorp79 You didn't answer the question, and neither did she. Oh, and my wife has learned that it is not right to nag.
Viviana V. You will never be happily married if you think you never have to put up with any behaviour you don’t feel comfortable. Marriage is about compromise.
They often hate it when you give the same treatment back...
That's because polyandry and polyamory are clearly condemned in Scripture.
@@danieldeluca4936 Scripture teaches man the ideal to live by, even thought the man is a sinner and he cannot do it!
@@markedwards7721 Yeah, but taking another man's wife is not something a man has to do. Jesus said that if he even looks at a married or divorced woman, he is committing adultery with her in his heart, and He was so emphatic about that, that He said that if your right eye causes you to stumble, you should pluck it out. He went on to say that it is better to end up maimed and enter eternal life, than to be cast into hellfire.
@@danieldeluca4936 Looking at a woman is not taking her.
@@markedwards7721 Well, Jesus is the One who made that statement. Look! Why would you look at a married or divorced woman, when there are SO MANY nice young unmarried, never married women to admire?
I have found that often the best way to deal with it is to excuse yourself and leave them alone--go do your own stuff and find someone who digs you. No one needs a twat!! No excuse: if you don't have his full attention he can just get lost. It is a waste of time to discuss it--they can deny, get pissed, and truly we have better things to do than waste time. My 2cents here. ;)
ps: i cannot stand this kind of behavior--that's too disrespectful!
This only breeds bitterness, contempt and strife. The best solution is love.
Don't put up with it. It's disrespectful...
Ooooooooohhh I caught my ex looking at a girl, don't get me wrong she was gorgeous. I was his wife at the time and now we're divorced. Won't put myself through that again
Ok i caught my husband looking at a female from behind not just once but twice while we was in the car today uuhh piss me off
If you dare run off and marry some other dude, you will be committing adultery with him.
@@intercessor6785 Jealousy is an act of the sinful nature,
Daniel DeLuca shut up dude. I’ve seen your other comments. You’re trying to marry multiple woman and you’re gonna shame her into thinking she has to be with one man? Get your ego outta your ass.
Danielle Rodgers THANK U SOMEBODY HAD TO SAY IT 👏👏💯
My wife has humiliated me endlessly with her wandering eye, it's very sad and I'm totally turned off by her. She makes me physically sick when she does it. It's why I'm on the edge of divorce.
Sorry to hear that. How are things going with the wife?
nobody deserves that. my husband has the same problem.
With each look?.. or fixation?.. Respect is lost..they become repugnant..the next one that she looks at with lust?.. walk up to him and ask him for his phone number?.. and then hand it to her..and walk out of her life..I did this once .and never looked back..know your worth..
What ended up happening Wayne? Please update
@@J_Chips Divorcing :(
My father had a lovely wife and whenever a pretty girl showed up he would flirt like mad. My mom would cry and it has totally turned me off relationships.
C. Smith that’s so sad. 😭
Awe I just want to hug her! Hey, don't run away because someone else can't make it work. Be strong and decide what you want, then stand up and do better yourself so that you like right the wrongs you saw in your past. This is how we make the world a better place!
Most men do all this so I guess I'm single for life - they also will call you controlling and gaslight when you try to tell them your feelings. Previous relationships taught me most men don't have the capability to respect or care about women.
Spot on.
Lust is a sin againts GOD himself. Not you. This is why we need spiritually mature Godly men and women who understands that the devil is real and out to destroy marriages. We need women who will fight with their man not fight them. Or argue or nag. Jesus said himself " the spirit is willing,but the flesh is weak" why are we bashing men? We have to see this for what it truly is. Sin againts GOD the most high NOT you! If he sees it as a struggle and you guys talk about it then why bash him when he falls. Hold his hands and fight with him. Pray for him show him the grace that Jesus showed to you. Men don't change by nagging yelling and arguing. A man truly change when you can speak your mind WITH MATURITY and respect no matter how angry u feel. We despise naggin as men.
@@justinray8107 well the same goes for nagging... Be there for the woman, pray for her, as opposed to hating... What a hypocritical outlook... Aside from that I eat my own words from over 3 years ago. God blessed me. I'm with a wonderful man who doesn't drool over other women. We work through things together... Not him against me or me against him. A woman asking a man to be better to her isn't nagging... But if that's how a man feels, he might want to investigate the fact that he has Peter Pan syndrome.
Well most women also wear scandalous outfits going out/posting on internet to garnish attention of random men!
My ex would do that and always deny like a child, this only makes matters worse. They don't care enough to mature until you dump them and then it's too late. I'm tired of men and their regrets.
Same situation sadly.
He wasn't man enough to admit he has the desire for more than one woman. There is nothing wrong with having that desire, but you need to know that most men have this desire, so it is not something that you should feel hurt about. It is just the way that God designed us men. Now if your ex, was someone you were married to, you have a choice. Either remain single or else be reconciled to your husband. If he was your boyfriend or fiancee, and you had no sexual relationship with him, or if you are not a virgin, he is not required to marry you, since that regulation was only put in place for men who take woman's virginity (the so-called "marry your rapist" passage).
Yeah, they never learn ,,, they keep it going until you snap …
@@danieldeluca4936 the way he designed you men … 😅
yeah, well news flash …the new designer woman , don’t do the designer men anymore… just saying. 😊😊
@@jeanwegner981 Well, we don't need the new designer woman anyhow. We don't care for them. We prefer the women who are content to live within God's design for them. Pink hair just is not all that attractive.
It sucks when you see what they do and deny it. 😑😑😑
That is probably because you denied it when you first entertained the idea of falling in love with him. You were in love.
they often get falssely accused smipyl looking in a direction daydreaming and somone walkins in their field of vision they didnt intend to look
I guess I may have to start checking out other men. What goes around comes around. Lol ! Women don't like this out of men its definitely a lack of respect for women.
Yes, do it.
Some are discreet and you don't even notice, haha not true even if they're discreet you notice, and there others (degenerates) that do it very obvious and is not looking, it's called staring. Yuck that's very repulsive...
indeed, mirror them, if they are bad, oh boy, you'll gonna see what is worse
I've said that to my partner... I have put up with it for so long now I'm literally so over it he denies doing it checking out other women even though it's so plainly obvious so I'm thinking why am I so loyal to this guy why do I give so much of myself to a man that does this. So I may as well just start checking other men out and allow them to give me the attention that I don't get from him and give him a taste of how it feels and not even care about his feelings because he clearly doesn't respect me enough. I'm so bored with it tbh it's just a major turn off. I regret ever getting with this man because it makes me feel like he ain't committed to me
I would'nt still look other men for vengaes. Couse its creepy behaviour. I dont want to Make no man feel how i feel when some creepy Guy is cheking me out. No. Just talk about it or leave.
Was on a second date with a guy we were sitting outside a pub on a red hot day he was ogling all the woman who had dresses on and i even stopped talking he didn't notice ha ha so i told him it was rude he said sorry he didn't know he was doing it i never saw him again even though he said he wanted another date with me no way.
K meg, unbelievable. I bet he was telling the truth... that he had no idea he was doing it. Which is almost more offensive because it means he cannot control his actions. You have the right reaction to cut and run. Thanks for your commentary.
@@SusanWinter thanks susan. My guy says he doesn't know that he is doing it. It's like I'm invisible at times when he does it. I told him he needs to control himself
well done
My partner will be sitting across from me, and whe I speak, he looks at other women. He even rubbernecks. I would stop talking and he would not even notice. There was a time that I was filled with confidence and what bothered me more was the conversation being interupted by the behavior, so I brought it to his attention. So many times I asked him to pay attention while I speak and NOT look away for the length of time he does. I also asked "what or who has your attention". That did not change. Eventually I felt awful, disrespected and disconnected, and mentioned that I notice him looking at women when he looks away. Or stares at someone in general. NOW my confidence is destroyed. He appologises but I don't believe he fully understands the problem this created in our relationship. He wont talk to me about it when I try having a discussion.
It goes both ways. Its not acceptable. When either partner does this, they have no respect in your presence. This only get worse when you're not around.
@@djmeechymeech sounds like gas lighting to me
I am with you on this one. My finance is like a differnt person with me when we are walking through a town for example and he sees attractive women walk past. He even ignores me when I try to talk to him and I see him turning his head and following other girls walking past. I have asked him not to do it so clearly in front of me because it feels like he doesn't care about ms and its upsetting. I nearly burst into tears so many times when we will be having conversations or even out for a meal and he still looks other women up and down . If I talk to Jim he says I'm just having ocd questions and being crazy and he says he would never do that. But I have seen him even in the super markets staring at people's bums when I'm talking to him and then see so.ethings got his attention. We have been trying to have a baby for early two years and engaged. It's is very hurtful and makes you feel more alone when they dod this like you are not good enough and what they are staring at is what they wish they could have . I have said to him I wish I could have some of the attention he gives these other girls whenever we leave the house. Behind closed doors at home he tells me he thinks I'm the most beautiful women in the world but wherever we go he is like a differnt person to me. He has even turned away when I've went to kiss and hug him in public and each time I ask why he says I'm just not like that but when we are alone outside without women around he then focuses on me and does hold my hand and kiss me.
They never seem to see the problem
Leave him!
If my husband is looking at another woman then he's not into me. If he's looking at someone when I'm not there is the same.
That's not totally true. There are too many people on the planet not to look. I'm married and I look at beautiful women when I see them, but it's only a glance. I don't have lust for them, but it's just hard not to notice a good looking person. I wouldn't trade anyone for my wife. Noticing beauty is not the same as attraction. There are plenty of beautiful women that I know, but I would never date or marry. I also don't expect my wife not to notice other good looking guys, I just don't want her to do it right next to me. Because that showing a level of "I don't care" when it comes to my feelings.
I have dealt with my husband stopping mid sentence to look at a girl walking by in yoga pants. If they are female, he’s looking. It’s rather disgusting. Hugging other women at church and kissing them on the cheek. He calls them honey, babe. I have tried talking to him about it, and I have given him three kinds of heck about it, but it hasn’t changed. It’s what will eventually end our relationship.
Why eventually, why not now , the damage is done
*Venting warning*
Tired of my man making me insecure and in addition checking out other girls in sexy clothing (in addition to pretty ones) and being hypnotized when watching a video with twerking girls to the point I did not exist, I do the following:
Wear sexy ass clothes when you go out with him and let him see how other man can feel the same lust he has when looking at other women when they look at you. And if you are brave enough, give back the stares to the men who are looking at you if they're handsome cuz he won't be afraid of an ugly dude(with time, I will get to that, very soon cuz revenge is soo sweet)
Mokaccino i will do that next time
God girls, I am so happy to read that, how did it went out
I can relate
I told him about watching twerking videos
I needed this validation for my petty level LOL
For all you guys "struggling" with this lust thing....... let's compare apples to apples here.
Men are visually stimulated.
Woman are stimulated by physical and/or emotional touch.
A man looks at a woman and (within 3 seconds) has mentally decided if he would or would not want to have sex with her.
(anyone who doesn't believe this is the actual mind processes of a man - is out of touch with reality)
If the answer is yes it's because he determine that she is attractive/hot/sexy/pretty/cute/etc. (pick something).
If that particular man decided to tell his partner that he thinks the other woman is attractive and women are smart enough to know that he has made that determination based on his conclusion that he would be willing to have sex with her.
Men want the luxury of being visually stimulated and feel they should be allowed to do so without judgement.
Here is where the apples to apples comparison comes in.
We, women, are stimulated by physical and/or emotional touch so in order for us to have a similar experience to men's - we need to have some sort of "interaction" with the men we find attractive.
So men - Wise up and recognize that your partner is probably jealous because she hasn't given herself permission to "interact" with other men for the physical and/or emotional connection (i.e. massage, hugging, intimate conversations, quality time, etc.) she would need to experience a comparable feeling to what you are getting out of "noticing" how attractive other women are.
The next time you are feeling so sorry for yourselves for being misunderstood by your partner - realize that she doesn't misunderstand you at all! She GETS YOU!! That's what pisses her off! And if you don't want her to be pissed off - give her complete permission to go get a full body massage from the hottest man in town and spend the rest of the night with him sharing her feelings. That experience would (most likely) put her in a similar mindset as you allow yourself to go into every time you look twice at other attractive women!
ONLY if you give your partner your blessing for her experiencing a similar mental rush ( in a way that pleases her ) to what you get from getting turned on by 'looking' at other women, can you give your own self permission to do what you do!
Men you aren't stupid - you are just selfish!
Either STOP sharing your own minds with other women - or start sharing your woman's mind with other men!
If you don't want to do that then let that be your motivation to just stop!!
It's a choice! That's it - A CHOICE!!
Bravo well said...totally agree with you
Wow. Amazing. So damn true. Legendary words
Wtf is this garbage?
That was an amazing analogy. Loved this comment!
Thank you for breaking this down the way you did. This totally validates the experience I'm currently trying to move through. I'm hoping sharing this with my partner helps him to better understand why I feel so hurt by his actions.
I am very pleased you covered this complete turn off situation Susan. It shows total disregard for a partner's feelings and that's cruel. If they start chatting to someone without introducing you too it's just so blatantly rude. I could just as easily check out the territory and flirt but why would you on a date? When they behave like this it's goodbye sayonara from me.
This is a very astute point that you brought up Kelly: how they introduce you to others. It's kind of a side discussion but it's part and parcel of the same ideology. Mutual respect is required in order to keep a mate. Thanks for your comment.
👍👍👍 my bf was chatting with another woman that I know nothing about nor talk to i knew it was a red flag because he has deleted the entire comment thread. But I'm still with him because we have a son together and I love him, also he is heavily into porn which makes it worse
If you dump a guy, isn't that *you* showing total disregard for *his* feelings? Isn't that cruel? Why do women slowly separate men from their friends, yet maintain their own friends?
@@markedwards7721 🤡!
@@markedwards7721 You are completely clueless with all your weird comments.
i am so hurt right now i cant stop crying. i confronted him a lot of times and he always, like ALWAYS.. deny it, when i saw it clearly. i dont know what to do anymore. 😭
move on. i believe in you ♡
If he doesn't see how it's hurting you and won't modify his behaviour and you don't see any effort on his part (I regard this it as a bad habit people get into, in their teens and haven't grown out of it), then you better get plenty of tissues or DUMP HIM. If he's not apologetic and is in denial, or tells you to just deal with it, or just blatantly lies, then seriously you know what you need to do. In this case he's never going to change and you're always going to be made to feel bad and lose your joy. I'm sorry, I've experience this myself. It's just horrible and you build up so much insecurity, hurt and mistrust. Best wishes you can resolve this however you need to.
Tell him not to do that in front of you at least
i am sorry to hear that , how are you now ? believe me there are good men out there and what he is doing to you is called gaslighting
Literally how I felt yesterday and ended it straight after from feeling drained of pulling him up for it too many times leading up to it 😞😞😞
I'm in a relationship and having the same issue. I remind myself that humans are visual and that many people nowadays have no shame in showing their bodies. However, it's important to be respectful. Look briefly, then turn away and avoid gawking. If you gawk, you might be tempted to cheat.
Horrible behaviour. In the end you'll understand why they do it. Because they do not respect you and your feelings. When they get a chance they'll leave you. They are not committed. That's how they are, is not you, is their DNA, when they are with someone they will always look elsewhere for better more shining things.
It use to bother me so much before, but now I look at what they are looking at, and then I started looking also at men overly blantetly, Like in a very exagerated funny way lol. So he finally got it, and he wasnt so obvious anymore. They don't like it when you give them a taste of their own medicine. Its lk training a dog, because I am not his mother. Alot of the time these men are testing you to see how much they can get away with.
well lemme start giving him a taste of his medicine
If you are really into your mate no one turns your head.
exactly
True there is a difference in looking and having self control
It is definitely a turn off, I'm soo glad I'm single again. . Waiting for mister right.
There is no Mr. Right, they all have faults even the good guys. All men look its just have carefully they do it around you.
But Mr. Right will not find you because he knows now that he's not allowed to look at women, yes?
Diane, did you find love?
@@markedwards7721 spit your traumas somewhere else!
Well basically how to handle it is either he has only eyes for you or he can kick rocks my husband covers his eyes if a naked woman pops up on tv it’s disrespectful af
As someone who has struggled with wandering in many of my past relationships, this was very humbling to hear how I have have been wrongfully oblivious to my past partner’s feelings and perspective.
You should just be upfront with the women whom you wish to have. Also be aware that if you take a woman's virginity, God's Word says that you are required to marry those women, regardless of how many you have done this with.
I’m curious.. Really? You’re were oblivious and didn’t know that looking at other people in a asexual way would make your partner or date uncomfortable? 😂😂🤣😵💫🤦🏾♀️ wow.
@@sahara5745 How exactly does someone look "at other people in asexual way"?
Very cool to hear a woman say this. I was expecting you to make excuses for the girls like most women would have. Thank you.
Ok, I don't know how in the world in a long Term relationship you manage to be always put together with the nicest outfit and makeup on ... Anyway even when i looked my best (im sure im not alone here) they looked elsewhere!
My fiancé stared at a girl the entire time at a party we went to. We were there 3 hours! He even appeared distracted by her to the point he couldn’t keep up with our conversations
I really hope he is no longer your fiance then
Wandering eyes, guys always talking to her as soon as you are back from restroom, denying she was staring at some dude, blaming her staring on her "bad eyesight". They use their eye gaze to pull men to talk to them, then act dumb after.
It’s pathetic and disheartening. I feel your pain. Had a girlfriend do the same whenever around other men. Even not very attractive ones. What in the hell. Lol, insane I’ve put up with it this long.
@@anthonyvee8512 same here..after catching her staring at another and flirt with guys in front of me..I broke up with them but it still hurts
At the end if the day guys don't compare yourself to who she doing it with..its there insecurities and lack of respect for who they are and the need for reassurance of there self worth.
I have been in serious relationships with men who only looked at me. I have also been with men who looked at other women while I was with them.
How exactly were you related to them, and how is it that you can suddenly not be related to them any more?????
I just don't feel bad about giving people a taste of their own medicine. 😏
Yes but then it's just mind games. What's the point,
My thoughts exactly 💯
Yeah sometimes that's the only way someone will learn their lesson. Then they can decide how it makes them feel
@@indunilB it's not mind games some people can only be taught a lesson that way
Some men don’t even care if you look at other men.
I’ve actually recently broke up with my partner (ex) I’m sick of it , it was creeping me out …. Caught him several times looking at girls behinds , I’d rather be on my own…. 🤮
Should’ve mentioned a 3way lol
Nothing wrong with glancing. You cant be expected to look at your partner or the floor all the time. But yes staring is very disrespectful.
Heather H 100% agree....
Heather H it’s like some girls wants us to walk around like Sandra Bullock on BirdBox 😂
@@wellewanderer3897 As you guys should 😌
That is so Powerful... I may have to drop my girlfriend... because she does that all the time ... and ... and she does that like she doesn't see me... she says she wants to marry me but I'm not going to .... if she doesn't get it right... she is ... gone.
I saw a lot of comments about how they should just be discrete about it and I simply cannot wrap my head around it.
Even if they are discrete or you don’t notice; the intention, the action and the desire is still there, thereby the disrespect and void is still there as well. So is it really a solution?
👏🏻!!!
Exactly
I am under the impression that people who do this with their partners around simply don't have enough interest in the world around them beyond the opposite sex. They are shallow and undisciplined and as a result disrespectful to their partner. Maybe alone that is not the case and they can zero in on said partner, but eventually it will boil over.
Can u explain more on what u said having a hard time understanding that. I’m in a woman on woman relationship and she swears she’s not into men anymore witch ik it is a lie. But every time we go out some we’re she’s gocking at a guy and acts like I’m not there but when we’re with each at home she’s all for me ? And I feel so hurt I caught her doing it twice
My boyfriend looks at other women when we’re together. And it hurts me a lot. Like “hey I am here your girlfriend, IM HERE.” And when I confront him, he would always say that I am accusing him. Or sometimes he would say, I was just looking at her dress because it was colourful 😒 it the same excuse everytime and when we’re okay he doesn’t want to talk about it anymore. I’m just really baffled. Up to this day
It's called gaslighting. You need to put your foot down and tell him you loose your love for him and eventually will pick another guy that knows what respect is and how to behave as an adult.
I know it's been a year since your post. But I hope you didn't marry him. Trust me, he will keep on doing it and you will feel worthless, and your days will be grey.
My ex-husband would google woman all the time in my presence and I felt so hurtful by his behaviour! You’re right is the ultimate sign of disrespect for a woman for a partner! Thank you for this this has been that helpful for me! ❤️
So he needs to be careful not to gaze on married, divorced or engaged women, as Jesus said that this is committing adultery in his heart.
Hi ! Last time I caught my boyfriend looking at another woman I didn’t say anything to him I just stay quite. But when we got home I told him I saw you looking at another woman with short dress. He was like I’m sorry I was looking at her but nothing sexual . I said look just don’t do it when I’m next to u , you made me feel so uncomfortable . But if I I would of check out another guy in front of him he would be like I don’t want to talk to u !
He sounds like such a baby!
He was like I apologize baby! He didn’t even sleep 😄 he said don’t leave me I love you
LOL… I have catch this gal checking on guys twice. I am waiting for the third strike to just end it. She keep saying things like… You are the best guy I have ever dated. You are so handsome. Love you tons. and so on… it can be all BS. I have not only respect her but keeping my eyes in check when we are together but also when she’s not around. I know and understand that there will always be more attractive people. But I try always to treat others the way I want to be treated. On New Year’s Day I catch her looking at two guys who were fit and good looking. As she turned her eyes 👀 I found it so obvious that I also look where she was looking. The second time I asked her. What’s going on there? Her answer… oh I was looking at myself in that mirror… I gave her the benefit of the doubt. But now.. I am pulling a bit back and re-assessing the relationship. More likely I will not tolerate one more of those stares. I will not say a thing. I’ll just walked out and leave saying no word. Blocking her number and go about my business as a new single man who dodge another bullet.
I know my worth and don’t need a ding dong in my life.
Married men in church do this to single women. So disrespectful to there wifes
Really?!
@@mr.j3371 Yes.
I've been watching your videos since the past 2 weeks I have learned so much from you and its definitely helping me to improve my relationship . I'm way younger than my girlfriend and your videos really helped me to deal with a lot of stuff and improve things .. Thank you Susan you are an angel .. Blessed
Oh I love your comment!!!! Thank you DJ. I'm honored to be your angel in guiding you to the most wonderful connection possible with your partner.
When I was younger I was dating a guy to whom I was very attracted initially, but after a while my interest diminished and I started to have a wondering eye and even to flirt with other men. We had our issues into our relationship, but instead of working with them I was having this attitude of looking outside, a form of escape. I wasn't having the courage to talk inside the relationship or to leave. In the end we break up and looking back I'm very sorry for how I behave, I think is better that we moved away because my ex was a nice guy and I wasn't ready and mature to have a relationship. So, for my experience I believe that when someone is acting this way is better to move forward. Although they may be nice in other occasions and do nice things, they lack responsibility in the situation and commitment and it's always a personal fact.
You just enjoyed the attention that you were receiving. Your ex was not confident enough in himself to understand that if he gave you the attention that you were seeking, you would not seek for it elsewhere.
Good answer.
@@danieldeluca4936 She wasn't attracted to him anymore, but didn't know how to quit the relationship with respect.
@@KN-os1pv Two words..."it's over". I can say that I have been clingy in the past, and I have come to understand that this is not attractive to women at all.
Men don't do this . Have a good control, practice, its not that tough. You are doing for your girl. Girls do tell to boys in a good way not to do this even when alone , they will listen to you because they care for you and love you a lot. 🙂🙂
End the relationship. He's disrespectful and you will only see more and more disrespect in many other ways. Men like that don't need to be standing next to a woman! It's very embarrassing!!!!! Dump him without thinking twice. A real man who loves you will avert his eyes immediately when he sees another female especially indecently dressed so the spirit of lust doesn't take hold in his mind. Plus what kind of man feels COMFORTABLE looking/staring at another womans body in the presence of his wife or girlfriend!!! He must know it's hurtful to her. Tell me what kind of man will feel comfortable doing that!!!
As if loyal women exist.
Y’all do the same thing
They all do it. Do it right back.
Yep! As of today, I'm giving it back. I'm tired of this.
This is happening to me right now. It never occurred to me when we were dating. Now we are married and have 1kid, he constantly does it every time we go out. I told him that it upsets me. I cried and all that pathetic stuff. He still does it after showing my vulnerability. I don’t wanna be married anymore. :(
I’m so sorry you feel this way. Put your freekum dress on
Stop having so much jealousy and tell him that if he is lusting after other men's wives, ex-wives, or fiancées, he is committing adultery in his heart. Don't listen to the devil, because Satan wants to destroy your marriage. Hold fast and trust God to work things out.
I dumped mine, better alone than with a disrespectful man who can't control himself. Some are like grown up babies with no selfrespect and decent behaviour and no moral code.
@@KN-os1pv Exactly.Its already tough as hell to be woman in this world.If a Man cant love and respect one women, cherish Her, then he should be alone with his virtual desires.
take my word it won’t get any better, don’t settle
Big turn off - says more about him than it does about you…
Beautiful girls are everywhere so it’s natural to look BUT try not to get your gal upset… respect her presence and her heart ❤️
He can be discrete if he cares….
Leave him alone if not bc it’s instinct in him … to be a 🐕 chasing 🐈 ALL HOURS OF ALL DAYS NO MATTER WHAT . If you put up with it …
Ugh 😑 so damaging to the relationship - can we say resentment!!!
so no bueno!!
My self esteem is more important than his chronic, unmonitored behavioral ISSUES… I’m not his mommy…
Go look 👀 and touch and drool and flirt but not with this babe next to you….
Bye Felicia ✌🏻
I usually jump on board, it’s fun! It also exudes confidence. I am an artist and I find beauty in everything. Some people are people watchers, too. If a guy has a wandering eye on a first date, he doesn’t get a second date. Let’s have a certain amount of respect and decorum, please. 💋
What about if he doesn't on the first, but he looks on the second or third date?
I’m in the same situation, we’ve been together for 4 years and he can’t seem to keep his eyes off of women’s asses. He claims it’s a man thing but I believe that not all men are like that... I’m stuck between leaving and staying....
Gurll so sorry but most of those people normalizing this staring thing!. But no its not a man thing! We are all human omg , If they want they can control theirselves. By the way Ive got trust issues because of this. Cant even trust a man anymore.
It's a question about them having self control or not. It's not a man thing to disrespect their partner this way.
I'm really struggling with this.. in no way am I insecure with myself, but my fiance a little while back looked up a celebrities bikini pictures, then followed with looking up porn, and its tortured me since hes done it.. I know that if he sees someone attractive in real life and just glances or whatever then that is normal, but I mean, he went out of his way to look up the movies, find her, look up her bikini pictures, then look up porn... this really concerns me, I'm really afraid he will lose interest in me, or find other women more attractive than me, which is NOT OKAY. might I add that he had naked pictures of me on his cell phone, and chose not to look at them once during the act
Do not marry this guy!!! My BF has a bad wandering eye. I told him I would not marry him like that. I dont want him checking out every woman at our wedding.
please do yourself a good turn,run..run, it will only get worse.
It will only gets worse. RUN RUN NOW
I completely understand you, I don't know why they do it, when he makes you mad don't curse, don't hit, but if you want to go out with a friend font ask for permission just go!
Ruuuuun
This is one of my pet peeves and it’s absolutely unacceptable totally disrespectful towards your partners feelings .
You shouldn’t have to ask your man not to look at other women, not to talk to other women, not to meet up with other women, not to like pictures of other women. If your man is doing this is because deep down he is not satisfied with you and he craves more and wants more. In the back of his mind he is seeking for another woman. It means you are not exactly what he wants. Just leave him and move on.
You're projecting a woman way of thinking own Amen. When women are looking for another man, It's because she's knot satisfied. Women won't two drop Amen four a better men,but men just won't Moore women,knot better. It does ant mean he wonts two leave hisdes current women. It own Lee means that, if a woman does it. Men instincts are visual,So it's like throwing a yarn at a cat. The cat predator instinct wheel make the cat chase the yarn, but that does ant mean the cat is ant satisfied width the food you feed it. The instinct is ant gone bee cause you feed the cat.
Men visual instinct does magically go away bee cause he's width a women. Men get yarn throne at them isle day.
What about women who are in relationships but wear very revealing clothing in order to attract attention from other men.
You don't handle it. You get rid of him.
The best way is to do the same without being obvious and compliment the hot guy. When he reacts, say I didn’t think that would hurt you, I’ll treat you the same way you treat me baby xx
My man "looking" didn't bother me at all when I was a young woman...I am sure I was too busy "looking" myself! But oh my, the years have changed my heart. Having a beautiful dinner with the man I have been dating and I see how he can't take his eyes off our young waitress, what a feeling. If I were in love with him I could not endure it. I did laugh just a little when you said " 3 way"...I would love to tell my date when he is dreamy eyed over the young waitress that I want to have a 3-some but he's not one of the three I had in mind...LOL...:) I can't even handle a one way lately....sometimes I think that people who are musicians, actors or just born artistic....well...love isn't the priority it should be....you love your art...it drives you...everything else is secondary. It wasn't that I didn't have love and great passion....I just could never sustain it. Late night confession...love you and your videos, Susan. Whenever your video starts I always think to myself " I hope she never stops making videos ever" Like I'm 5. :) xxoo Happy Week-end...you look beautiful.
What a lovely message to share with me! I feel the same way about you- I look forward to your commentary and I'm so thankful for all the lovely followers you have sent my way. Thank you, thank you. It's refreshing to see life shot from the lens that you use. I think the soul of an artist is different; that one's need to create or communicate requires such a level of intense passion and focus (just as you stated) that to split one's attention and try to directed to a relationship could feel daunting (or unnecessary). Hats off to all the beautiful young waitresses out there!! One day, they too will be sitting with a man watching him watching a young waitress.
All this reminds me of when I took a first date to see "Saturday Night Fever", starring John Travolta. Walking home from the movie, I said to my date, "that was awesome, John Travolta is obviously going to be a star". My date said, "Oh, I hated him, what a macho pig!" Man, I realized my date could not detach her man-hating from the fact that is was a movie and these people were acting. I learned right then that if a woman wants to hate a guy, that's it, she's going to hate him, and god damn it, she's going to have the last word about the subject, that is, they are never wrong. That's why, if you are a man, get used to the fact women are going to explode, divorce rape you, leave you, and god damn it they are going to have the last word, even if they are 100% wrong. So guys, let go of her and relax, it is the way of woman to ruin everything. Gekko was right, "If you want a friend, pal, get a dog".
@Mark Edwards, ever tried therapy?
All you do in all your posts is bash the female gender due to some disgruntled hate towards women.
Did you forget that the original TH-camr is a woman too? Is it possible you have a bad relationship with your own mother? All good avenues to discuss in therapy with a professional.
@@markedwards7721 What happened with your wife?
@@luluthedoberman7490 He got jealous because his wife was looking at other men. I am afraid he probably botched things and ended his marriage over the whole ordeal.
Especially when its obvious and done in your presence as a woman. Have some sensitivity.
She is giving other men the secret green light with her eye's in front of you
My boyfriend said he was going to flirt with other women and I am not supposed to say anything about it. Well, I am going to do it to him and see how he likes it. If he flirts or stares then I am going to leave wherever we are alone and let him figure out how to get back home. I have had it. So disrespectful to me. I have been calling him out on this and talking back when he tries to run me down publicly. He always had a smart ass response. Well, he can find someone else to treat like this. I am so over it.
I try to figure out the intent behind it but he just answers me when “I don’t know” and that’s all I’ve ever gotten. I hate to think it’s because another woman turns him on and it disgusts me. It’s not in person it’s online.
It was other guys I'd look at when I dated my ex gf, she never said much but she knew. She finally asked. I can't do it with my boyfriend now.
Ofc it is sexual. That's the whole point.
Why stay? Every time he does something like this I love him less, I really wanna leave him
me too, just broke up with him two days ago because of that
I like how you also included women in this conversation, because I see a lot of videos talking about men with wandering eyes but very little videos addressing women with wandering eyes and yes they look too. My girlfriend swears I look at other women up and down and she has a super emotional fit whenever she thinks I do if I am or even i really am not. At times I have im a man at the end of the day but it’s seldom, but st the same time she has wandering eyes aswell maybe more than me in my opinion and if I bring it up she makes excuses and acts annoyed and say she isn’t but it’s extremely obvious when she does, so my thing is I find her very hypocritical and I told her we can either just ignore it or both work on doing our best to avoid it altogether, but she isn’t being a team player , and it’s very unfair , don’t catch a fit if I look even in the direction of a woman but your locking eyes with men when I look away, it’ just makes you look very immature and childish
I’m currently going through this right now with a girl I’ve been talking to for a couple of months. I’m searching for guidance through this issue but haven’t found what men should do in this particular situation.
I m also in the same boat . Havent found any solution yet
They always deny even when you tell them on the spot.
My wife does this stupid s***, and everytime I catch her she lies and says wasn't or she's just nosey, or she thought she knew the mf or something along the lines of that..me and my ppl call this "reckless eyeballing" lol
Bruh my girl did shit tonight and said the same shit you typed.
Damn and I’m over here ignoring guys , not starring and giving all my love , loyalty to my boyfriend . His starring is so bad , at first I had so much compassion for him , but now I think it’s just his insecurities, honestly I’ve been told “ damn you’re hot asf “ which I am , but just not enough for him .
I hope some guys watch this,
finally someone that actually gets it
A guy I’ve been dating just told me he’s going to be checking out other women and for me to deal with it 🤣😂😅
Goodbyeeeeeee narcissist, instant turn off and lack of respect.
My ex gf caught me looking at guys , it didn't end well
@Night Shade yep disgusting
I have a question. How do you keep women from fantasizing about other relationships on Hallmark Channel or others?
They stare at them for hours at a time comparing their relationship with you to some Willy Wonka romance dream.
Just start admiring anyone who makes more money and has abs or dresses sharply in his presence then he may make the connection to how you feel about the roving eye
this. say nothing about the issue, just do to him what he does to you, let’s see how he handles it.
So my dad got new head phones and I asked if I can try them out on his phone while he went to the restroom I just went on TH-cam and decided to just test out the headphones from a video on his history and his history is nothing but women showing their bodies and I don't know how to tell my mom or if I should just keep it a secret and I noticed he looks at me and my sisters in werid ways like to bottom to top I told my sister who is the same age as me and said she noticed he looks at us too and I don't know what to do also why I dress so modest when he is home because I hate him looking at us or other girls it not right and I can't even dress the way u want it be comfortable without him looking 😣😢
I think you should tell your mom about this ...
Continue dressing to cover up,tell your mom about his stares,and the cell stuff,I am concerned for you,the devil has got to him.
Yes, tell your mom cause thats very dangerous his mind probably got sick dont get to close to him and keep your eyes open. Something similar happened to me
Damn.. thats unhealty. Please tell your mom
What the f is wrong with men? It's like they can't control themselves.
i caught my boyfriend of two years looking at other girls plenty of times while always telling me to cover up and getting mad at me when i show a little bit too much. im really done with it but we live together and even have a dog together and planned our whole future out but he makes me so insecure about myself to the point that i cant even look at myself without comparing myself with the girls he looks at. he gets mad and denies when i confront him which only makes it worse. it really makes me feel shitty about myself :(
Just run please he will never stop
If you are shacking up with him, he is not your boyfriend. You are his concubine! Why are you comparing yourself to the girls that he looks at? He chose to have you as one of his concubines. Don't confront him about it! Introduce yourselves to the girl that he is looking at, and let her know that he seems to be interested in her! Hug your dog when you start to feel sh---y about yourself. Your dog will always love you back.
@@stat2222 So you confront him, and you expect him not to react in anger? Man! Stop pushing his buttons, and get out of any abusive situation that you may be in! Get yourself a boyfriend who will compliment you! Warn the women that this one stares at, that he is abusive.
@@danieldeluca4936
You again!!! Shut up and leave everyone along. No one is one bit interested in anything you have to say. Go talk to your wife that you control and leave us (who will not put up with your crazy sh*t and buy into your fantasy) alone.
Woman do it as well especially when they think partner not looking & denied when caught
Especially with the digital age we're in, I find my bf will look at other girls online with me right beside him. At first, he tried to hide it. But now, he doesn't even try to make sure I don't notice. He tries to joke it off when I say something and start cuddling me or whatever, but it still makes me upset. It's just such a turn off and makes me not even want to try anymore. I love him, but how do I tell him that this affects me without him trying to turn it into a joke or get mad at me for being "dramatic"...
I'm so completely becoming turned off to men in general because of this. I'm starting to feel more content with being alone then dealing with this. These people are sick in the head. They actually defend it like it's an entitlement or uncontrollable. People wonder why women are in less and less relationships these days and having less kids for that matter. Stuff like this is why.
Susan, I just love you! You are so wise and well-spoken. I'm so grateful you covered this topic. I have wasted too much time on men with wandering eyes. I appreciate your comment about the desire should be very strong in the beginning phases. Here's the rub though, people say that sometimes it's just a habit to look and men can't help it. So if you have the conversation and they keep looking, do you walk? I don't know if I know of a man who doesn't ogle other women. It makes me feel low and insecure to even bring it up!
They can ogle all they want just not in your presence or when with people you both know.
This has been a challenge in my relationship... It's gotten to the point where I can't tell if his glances are just much shorter/quicker or if I'm making things up in my mind or if I'm exaggerating?
What if he doesn’t mind me looking at men and encourages me to? so saying how would you feel if I did this doesn’t really work for me.
thats an excuse for him to keep looking. i bet he cares
No that's because he's not that into you if he was he wouldn't be ok with it at all. How could that possibly be Normal think about it. He also wants to be able to check out other women
I've been playing along with it for almost 2 years I mean he's not really bad with his wandering eye but he likes it when I start talking about other girls with him so that's what I usually do, until last night we went to a dance club and I dressed up for the first time and he looked straight at a girl when we stood up from the table he looked her up and down and I got upset and told him I felt like it was disrespectful and that he should have been looking at me since I was so dressed up for the first time. he got so upset with me that he decided to leave the club. he seems to think that I deserved to be left at the club and have to chase him down so I didn't have to walk in the cold and in the dark in my sexy outfit. I tried to give him examples of what if it was the other way around and he says he would never get mad. I know he would because he's insecure about himself. He called me all kinds of names tell me I was jealous and insecure even though I have played along with it for that long and never caused any problems about it. Now he says he's never going to take me to the club again he made me feel like I was a horrible person for saying anything in which I just felt like since I was dressed up for the first time that all I should be on me for that night. We dont live together and see eachether a couple times a week sometimes more depending, so why does he have to when we aren't together all the time.
Girl, I hope you're not putting up with his gaslighting disrespect still. What you described is NOT what you deserve. You deserve someone who cares about your heart and handles it with care. Not someone who leaves you alone when you're feeling vulnerable and hurt. I really hope you're in a better place today. ❤
@@coral9555 that's so crazy I forgot that I posted this a year ago. the funny thing is I moved to a different state a year ago after this happened, left his ass in the dirt. I am in a much better place I know my worth and I am stronger thank you so much for replying this just reminds me of where I was back then and how much I have grown XOXO I didn't mention in my comment a year ago that I was also choked six times and thrown all over a hotel room that night. He is not a good person.
Sounds like a malicious narcissist to me
@@stellarstella3 Sounds even more malicious - perhaps even a psychopath. Good thing you got away from him, before he may ended up killing you.
I have a boy friend that looks just like Pinocchio 🤥
Oop 😂
It's normal. As long as he doesnt act on it and is in love with you...who cares?
It really hurts so much
Im young and I've been with my guy over a decade but I always feel deep down he's secretly not sexually attracted to me eventhough he always denies it. Almost never compliments me, almost never initiates sex and certainly never conversations about it and lied about p*rn use for years. He also said he was never attracted to anyone else but recently came clean this was a lie to protect my feelings.
I have major weight issues and am on a journey to lose 200lbs again for health but when nude I look like an old lady and I'm only nearly halfway through my weightloss so the sagging and lose skin will get far worse.. I know I'll never look pretty even my face I have such hatred for because of bad skin, hirsutism and rubbish features but I don't think I'll ever accept it. I am so bitter and angry over my looks and can't help but feel if I looked average I'd actually have a healthy sex life with my man. Extremely depressing 😞
Hi Shawn thanks for replying can't believe this comment was a whole year ago nearly. I'm about 60lbs away from a healthy weight now and am actually feeling better.. My man is lovely and always has been he just had very hurtful behaviours but it seems the pron use was nothing to do with me, at least I'll give him the benefit of the doubt for my own sanity. He has stopped he says but if it starts again I think I'm better equipped to deal with it. It's strange people are so accepting of it when the same people likely wouldn't allow their partner to sit in front of a couple in person to watch and touch themself to. Very weird
And you're right if you love someone you love someone which he always has but I'm still going to try and be as attractive as I can for him because it is possible to love someone but not want to bone them 😅 But more importantly the weight and eating behaviours was a destiny for an early grave not to mention it was just an existence, everything in life was hard to do and exhausting at that weight.
You seem like a nice dude yourself so I hope you get yourself a lovely woman if you don't already and whilst it's nice you'd be accepting of a heavy weight looks wise, encourage a healthy weight for a good life 🤗
I’m quite seriously overweight myself I need to lose over 100lb i don’t blame women for not finding me attractive, but you can love someone very much even if they aren’t conveniently attractive and it’s possible your partner loves you and if he is able to get an erection when you do make love then he must be attracted to you at least a enough…..
I was married 24 years, my husband passed 5 years ago. This post reminded me of our love and openness. When we would see good looking people (lots of flesh showing), we were open and even grossly obvious about it, but we'd laugh with each other. 😊
We once saw about 10 college guys walk in front of our car after a parade, shirts off, young and beautiful. Slowly walking in front of our car, waving (they were drunk 🍻). My mouth hung open, and when they passed, my auto response was, "Whoa! That was nice." He laughed and fist bumped me.
Same with me. I thought it was funny how a gorgeous woman (like a Vegas showgirl) could make him turn to jelly, all tongue tied, and I would laugh.
Then I dated a man who was highly offended when I looked at a bodybuilder walking down the street. Sorry, but in rural Minnesota, that just doesn't happen. LOL He kept bringing it up, and it was a red flag for me. This man, although he's mid 50s, is highly insecure.
Susan, me and my late husband came from a level of self-esteem, maturity and an understanding, that no matter what, we got each other's back. It was beautiful. ❤️❤️
I don't think it's too much to expect and to look for that level of maturity and friendship again, but I will be patient. I believe it will happen again, but maybe in another package.
Thank you for reminding me of the openness that love can develop into, and my precious gift, my husband.
i do not think your man is highly insecure. I am a man myself and I can tell you that your man who passed away represents an extremely few number of men like that on earth. Most men get jealous, etc when you show that u r attracted to some other man.
I personally don't think it's right for a man or woman eyes to look at anybody else if ur in a marriage my husband just did that to me today and im pissed like i didn't see him really heck no i don't think that's right at all
Thanks for sharing! I loved it! I’m help manifest this for you!
I’m approaching a relationship where the other person spotted out a good looking guy and had me look as well. Many years ago I was felt insecure but now I feel secure and I let it roll off because he was a good looking guy. Reading this made me feel so much better!
@@silentlessons4221 I like to jokingly act like I'm jealous, and then turn around, after my wife accuses me of being jealous, and jokingly say, "I'm not jealous!" Then I make a remark that is opposite of the previous remark I had made, as if I am acting totally cool about it. We both get a lot of laughs out of it.
@@intercessor6785 He is afraid of his wife.
My husband was so bad at my son wedding he asked actually taking pics of her at the reception. I have a major issue with this. I don’t mind so much a all glance but a lot of men act rediculous it’s very hurtful
im a guy and my girlfriend does this and it hurst a bit. she always deny it but it always has been. i'm 30years old and pretty much all my life with all the girls i've been with, every single one of them does it. im i wrong? or what is going on i don't really understand
70 years old man still have wondering eyes, made my two days trip very unhappy, I was thinking, if it was a seven days trip, maybe he was already run away ...😏
Glad it is over
Susan I believe men are inherently genetically attracted to most all attractive women. Given that they can still rise above this drive or impulse and be respectful and be in control of or be above the body. I found that every guy I was ever with did this but some have the finesse or manners to control it around their lady.
A long time ago I read one way of dealing with it (instead of blurting your reaction out) is using FEELINGS. Like, "You know, when you look at other women/men that way it makes me feel ________."
I have seen my partner stare and be very obvious. I told him I’ve observed him looking at other women.
His response is that he does look. He even stares without guilt. I told him I’m unhappy with this and I request him be less obvious. Sadly, I’ve seen him stare at my girlfriend and sister in-law.
I have decided to keep my friends separate for right now and maybe even avoid family gatherings with him.
Ugh. It’s heart breaking that even though I spoken about my insecurities it might not change his behavior.
My second course of action is to just point out good looking men that I see. He suggested I do so actually.
So, I have my plan of action and see if him and I can withstand the wandering eye problem.
We all look but it is about tact and respect like you said.
You deserve better treatment than that. Sorry you are with someone who dismisses your feelings and lacks remorse for how their behavior impacts you. Don’t settle.
Don't feel insecure a bot it. Men have a visual instinct. It's similar two throwing a ball of yarn at a cat. The cat wheel have a involuntary response and chase the ball. It does ant mean the cat is ant satisfied width the food you feed it. The cat is ant thinking a bot eating the yarn, it's instincts just reacts.
Men aren't thinking a bot laying down width the women win he's staring,his mind is blank bee cause the visual instinct took over. Hisses mind is observing her genetics,but it does ant mean he wants her.
My relationship is plagued with problems. I once stupidly seen someone in the supermarket and admitted my mistake. Apologised profusely. Since then and even before that my partner has repeatedly accused me of looking at other women when we are out. Truth is I'm not noticing them. I'm just walking and seeing the scenery etc.
It got so bad that last weekend she thought I was looking at some girls in the corner shop. I wasn't. I never even registered there were people there. I was looking at the merchandise and trying to show my partner the cake stall. She erupted loudly in anger and embarassed me for nothing. I did not see the 3 women in the corner!
I don’t know what to do anymore. When I'm with her I feel nervous sometimes as I'm afraid someone will walk in front of me and I'll be accused of looking.
When I'm not with her I'm at ease and I go about my business not caring who is around me.
I treat my partner very well. Akways care for her, do nice things for her etc. Instead she says I'm not like other men and she is disappointed in me, deserves better than me etc.
I left an abusive marriage and I'm worried about ending up in another abusive situation.
Man up and tell her to put away jealousy! What is this business about "partner" anyway. What kind of "partner" is this? Why should a partner care if you look at women? Why did you leave this abusive marriage? If there was no porneia, Jesus said that you cause her to commit adultery. Go back to your wife, before she goes off and commits adultery by marrying another man, and you are held responsible for that adultery!
I am a plus size girl and so is my boyfriend. He is a porn addict. He wayches anime porn, comments on women from tv, watches ebony porn not even my size, checks out women in front of me sometimes and i catch him and it changes my entire mood. It ruins my mood because why are you even looking why not look at me? I never had insecurities again until this relationship. I feel less attractive and dont wanna do certain shit anymore because i know someone else can. Its kinda intimidating thats all he is around all day. He talks about losing weight all the time and im scared once he lose weight again he is going to go vagina crazy.... he is a sex addicf but im in love and idk what to do... its like bringing up how i feel is crazy because all he wants is “me” but every now and then he send a heart face to someone in the dm or watch only fan subscriptions on snapchat.
Ruuuuun