I get a bit confused sometimes with your explanations around, for example, being careful we’re not falling into certain patterns but then you’ll also go on to say not to try and do recovery right. I’m sure I’m missing something, but to me that seems a little contradictory and I would love if you could elaborate! Thank you!
@@indecisivemind5337 Can you explain what you see as a contradiction or what's confusing? I would describe physical fitness the same way: it's useful to have good form when weightlifting, but if somebody starts spending all of their time trying to avoid the possibility of doing something wrong when weightlifting, they'll probably struggle to reach their goals, even if they manage to avoid all mistakes and injuries. Because their focus is on avoiding a bad thing rather than growing a good thing.
@@everybodyhasabrain I think what confused me is was that you had said something akin to embracing the compulsions when we recover (especially around worrying if an action we’re doing is a compulsion that will make us relapse). But in other videos you’ve also talked about ‘the cliff’ and how making sure we don’t fall back into compulsions is key to staying off the edge. But what you described here with physical fitness does help put it into perspective, and I do think I was just thinking about your words in a very black and white way, where I should have applied more nuance. Thank you for responding, I appreciate what you do!
@@indecisivemind5337 The cliff is another useful metaphor with this. We can get stuck at the cliff edge because we're trying to make sure we don't fall over it. But to do that, we have to stay there watching it, trying to get reassurance. What's more useful is to walk away and grow the things we care about. Enjoy that growing!
It's not really absence of feelings. Most of your feelings have been consistently SO painful that you've grown numb to them. It's "anhedonia" in medical term. Even if you feel numb, [the brain have numbed out the part of hypothalamus to protect you from feeling the emotions psysiobiologically]. Well, you still take valued actions driven by your goal, do what is rationally best for your mind-body-goal, even if you feel numb. Anhedonia in my personal experiences is way more damaging and paralyzing than apparent "depression". So don't let the numbness hijack everything good in your life that you still have in life. Best wishes.
It helps me to see that mental health isn't about the presence OR absence of brain stuff (like feelings). I can have experiences. Whether it's a feeling I believe shouldn't be there, or a feeling I believe should be there, I'd approach that as the same. Whatever emotional weather is going on or not, we can have that experience and instead look at what we want to give time and energy to in life.
Recently I thought that tests and examinations are most often systems that are built around being stressed. I mean you have to fulfill certain tasks in a clearly defined amount of time. Moreover you do these things in order to show other people that you got it and that you are capable of finding solutions to problems. Therefore I wonder if there are healthier ways to approach such examinations and to get less stressed while and after passing them. I'm sure you have some useful tipps on this, too, Mark. Best regards from Germany😊
What if answering questions doesn't have to be about showing other people? Could it be about you sharing your experiences and knowledge? The solution to the problem can be about goals you have, not about trying to control what others think. The time limits can also be something fun to work within, rather than something stressful. They can actually make it easier and help us focus on what's important. In my work, I often use time limits to help me. There are so many things I could be doing, and I could spend so much time on everything, so I like to set time limits and create what I can create within those design constraints. That means I need to quickly cut what won't fit into that time, so it helps me focus on what's most important and what I can do in that space to give the things I want to give. Quickly dropping what doesn't fit or what isn't important is a skill we can apply throughout the mental fitness work we do, like with choosing what brain stuff we will spend time on, and what we won't spend time on. We don't have the time and space to spend all of our time and energy on everything.
@@everybodyhasabrain It is impressive how shifts in attitude can change the whole appearance of an experience. I constantly work on being proactive around my values and I have come a long way with changes I would have never thought could be possible. I think that working on the things you mentioned will be a huge new step to living the life I always desired. For me it is sometimes not easy to find myself working within a subject that truly gives me a lot of joy while being in a system that often puts an overload to the brain due to a very high numer of long tests in a very short period of time. But I try to stay healthy by doing my best to enjoy my subject nevertheless and to remind myself of the goals that I intend to reach.
I love you man
I get a bit confused sometimes with your explanations around, for example, being careful we’re not falling into certain patterns but then you’ll also go on to say not to try and do recovery right. I’m sure I’m missing something, but to me that seems a little contradictory and I would love if you could elaborate! Thank you!
@@indecisivemind5337 Can you explain what you see as a contradiction or what's confusing? I would describe physical fitness the same way: it's useful to have good form when weightlifting, but if somebody starts spending all of their time trying to avoid the possibility of doing something wrong when weightlifting, they'll probably struggle to reach their goals, even if they manage to avoid all mistakes and injuries. Because their focus is on avoiding a bad thing rather than growing a good thing.
@@everybodyhasabrain I think what confused me is was that you had said something akin to embracing the compulsions when we recover (especially around worrying if an action we’re doing is a compulsion that will make us relapse). But in other videos you’ve also talked about ‘the cliff’ and how making sure we don’t fall back into compulsions is key to staying off the edge. But what you described here with physical fitness does help put it into perspective, and I do think I was just thinking about your words in a very black and white way, where I should have applied more nuance. Thank you for responding, I appreciate what you do!
@@indecisivemind5337 The cliff is another useful metaphor with this. We can get stuck at the cliff edge because we're trying to make sure we don't fall over it. But to do that, we have to stay there watching it, trying to get reassurance. What's more useful is to walk away and grow the things we care about. Enjoy that growing!
What to do when there’s an absence of feeling and emotions? This has become an obsession for me.
It's not really absence of feelings. Most of your feelings have been consistently SO painful that you've grown numb to them. It's "anhedonia" in medical term. Even if you feel numb, [the brain have numbed out the part of hypothalamus to protect you from feeling the emotions psysiobiologically]. Well, you still take valued actions driven by your goal, do what is rationally best for your mind-body-goal, even if you feel numb. Anhedonia in my personal experiences is way more damaging and paralyzing than apparent "depression". So don't let the numbness hijack everything good in your life that you still have in life. Best wishes.
It helps me to see that mental health isn't about the presence OR absence of brain stuff (like feelings). I can have experiences. Whether it's a feeling I believe shouldn't be there, or a feeling I believe should be there, I'd approach that as the same. Whatever emotional weather is going on or not, we can have that experience and instead look at what we want to give time and energy to in life.
Hey Mark, is there a way I can reach out to you for counseling sessions?
Recently I thought that tests and examinations are most often systems that are built around being stressed. I mean you have to fulfill certain tasks in a clearly defined amount of time.
Moreover you do these things in order to show other people that you got it and that you are capable of finding solutions to problems.
Therefore I wonder if there are healthier ways to approach such examinations and to get less stressed while and after passing them. I'm sure you have some useful tipps on this, too, Mark. Best regards from Germany😊
What if answering questions doesn't have to be about showing other people? Could it be about you sharing your experiences and knowledge? The solution to the problem can be about goals you have, not about trying to control what others think. The time limits can also be something fun to work within, rather than something stressful. They can actually make it easier and help us focus on what's important. In my work, I often use time limits to help me. There are so many things I could be doing, and I could spend so much time on everything, so I like to set time limits and create what I can create within those design constraints. That means I need to quickly cut what won't fit into that time, so it helps me focus on what's most important and what I can do in that space to give the things I want to give. Quickly dropping what doesn't fit or what isn't important is a skill we can apply throughout the mental fitness work we do, like with choosing what brain stuff we will spend time on, and what we won't spend time on. We don't have the time and space to spend all of our time and energy on everything.
@@everybodyhasabrain It is impressive how shifts in attitude can change the whole appearance of an experience.
I constantly work on being proactive around my values and I have come a long way with changes I would have never thought could be possible. I think that working on the things you mentioned will be a huge new step to living the life I always desired.
For me it is sometimes not easy to find myself working within a subject that truly gives me a lot of joy while being in a system that often puts an overload to the brain due to a very high numer of long tests in a very short period of time. But I try to stay healthy by doing my best to enjoy my subject nevertheless and to remind myself of the goals that I intend to reach.