My Partners Anxiety Is Driving Me Crazy (Anxious Attachment Style example)
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 11 ก.ย. 2024
- In this video, Psychotherapist and Relationship Coach Craig Kenneth talks about what it can be like to be in a relationship with someone who has an anxious attachment style.
Now for many of you guys watching, you may have an attachment style and you can gain some clarity and insight into how your behavior is affecting your partner.
Get Craig's help personally: www.askcraig.n...
Get Margaret's help: www.askcraig.n...
Craig's workbook series: www.askcraig.n...
Get Started on my Creative Healing Course: courses.askcra...
You can find and add Craig on Instagram
Craig is now podcasting on all major platforms!
I lost my girlfriend because of my anxious attachment. I was controlling and worried all the time she was going to find someone. I would get mad at her all the time because I felt insecure....when she left I started working on myself by listening to your videos.
"I only want, what I need, from someone who can't give it to me". Damn.
Andre Best Real Talk
My ex has an avoidant attachment style while I have an anxious attachment style. I have been somewhat aware of it for a while, but never really understood what it meant and why things happened the way it did. I would bring up issues that were irrational to him (deep down I also know they were irrational, but they weren't irrational for me in the moment) and he would often accuse me of creating drama out of nothing and pull himself back. He would accuse me of not even trying to get a stable relationship with him, and that I was the one with issues and that I was ruining it (he even threw the word "borderline" at me at some point) - when really all I wanted was to have something stable, but I was also fighting with so much emotion and anxiety.
We were both going to the same music festival, so to me it was obvious to go as a couple, however, he would rather like to spend the time alone. It didn't have anything to do with me, he just felt more comfortable experiencing the festival by himself, and deep down I also knew this, but at the same time I took this extremely personal and as a sign that he didn't prioritize me and my needs to be with him. A few days into the festival, we decided to meet up, but it felt as if we both only did it to please the other. I was very confused by it, and when he eventually decided to leave me to do something else, I became so overwhelmed with feelings. I tried explaining it to him, but it only escalated into a fight and he left me. A few hours later, he broke up with me over text. Things like this has happened before, and I would always react very hurt, and probably tend to more "stalkish" behaviour. However, this time I decided to just leave him alone. Later that day, he sent me one of your videos that was about the avoidant attachment style, and I realized that it described him spot on. I explored more of your videos, and realized I have an anxious attachment style. I have very foggy memories of my childhood, and I just remember being extremely anxious all the time and having parents that fought constantly. I specifically remember sometimes having to tip toe around my parents or isolating myself, in fear of experiencing another screaming match between them.
As I mentioned, I have been somewhat aware of the attachment styles that me and my ex have, but never really understood them. All this time, all I wanted was for him to understand my anxiety and show empathy. But whenever I asked this from him, it was as if he felt that I would be avoiding HIS issues, and expecting him to take responsibility for my behaviours.
He broke up yesterday, and I haven't heard from him since he sent me that video of yours. I don't know what he is thinking now exactly, and I assume that he is now also aware that we have these attachment styles. I truly hope that we can get back together with new perspectives of each other, watch your videos together and improve ourselves - but even if that isn't the case, I will try to stay strong and work on myself without him. I really enjoy watching your videos, and although I only discovered you yesterday, I feel like I have learned so much more about myself, my ex and our issues. Thank you.
I’m so sorry about your beloved rabbit. Caregivers can be so cruel and insensitive, and the worst ones don’t even recognize it. You have such a kind heart, Coach. Thx for giving what you never received. Love and thanks 💗
This video literally almost made me cry, because my ex has this and I had no idea.... I'm trying to get her back in the moment, but oh boy....... this completely changed my view on her. Thank you Coach
Did your ex ever reach out to you??
wow, i can still feel your anger and feelings of betrayal about that rabbit story. so sad! i wish grownups would respect kids more.
And animals.
Trauma, brain fog, dissociation. I've always described it as a fog with PTSD.
This resonates with me strongly, my ex was perhaps the most anxiously attached partner I have ever been with. She was constantly pushing, ignoring barriers, needed constant 24/7 texting, extremely low self esteem that I tried to boost up as much as I possibly could, constantly just told me that she didn’t like being along which made me feel like she was with me just so she didn’t have to be alone which was incredibly heartbreaking. It also made me not fully trust her (I have a flair of FA attachment style but not super intense if I feel secure in a relationship or in a partner I’m pretty secure and healthy). She has a lot of really unhealthy emotional, mental and physical habits. I tried to push her and the relationship towards a healthier place. She has come dissociative qualities and is just generally not in a healthy place. When we were together everything was actually pretty wonderful and we got along incredibly well, had nearly all the same interests. But I don’t think she really knows what a healthy relationship look or feel like. I was instantly put on a pedestal and I fought back against that pretty well. We ended up quaranting apart as we lived apart and are healthcare providers in different facilities so it really wasn’t a good idea to break lockdown for that. She can’t handle being alone, she felt alone and pushed into me WAY too hard. I tried to communicate that with her and just asked for a little space which I never really got. She still expected constant communication. I’m not great on long distance on a normal day but I ended up feeling so emotionally and mentally burnt out after a while and I pulled back a bit when I asked for space, she ended up running, likely monkey branched. I truly feel like I was a complete slave to her anxiety for months, realistically then entire relationship and it sucks to see someone you care about battle with themselves for the entire duration of the relationship. She said I was bad at communicating which isn’t true. She would listen to me but she never actually heard me. She would isolate me from my friends. We had difficult work schedules to mesh up super well but I gave her as much free time as I could while still maintaining a relationship with my parents and siblings. She would secretly become controlling and would often manipulate me for extra attention, usually in negative ways that I would have to feel bad for her.
I do miss her and I truly love that woman despite how difficult it was. I didn’t quit on her, but she quit on me. I saw a lot more in her than she actually saw in herself. I miss her greatly but I don’t know that I want to get back with her, she really needs to talk to someone. I just feel extremely used by the end of the relationship. I know she had an extremely difficult childhood and even adulthood. And I tried. I wish I saw this video a little sooner and I truly wish quarantine didn’t happen. It’s been two months, I doubt she’ll ever be back and I’m not holding my breath for her. It’s unfortunate as we held an extremely strong connection for over a decade, even before the nearly year long relationship. Craig, I really wish that I could afford a session. I’ve been doing no contact for about 2 months, I’m not sure that was the way to go with this one but I didn’t have a whole lot of options here. I’m just so emotionally and mentally burnt out, confused and honestly just really hurt.
My husband hates me for my anxiety. He travels for work or even if it's a regular day when he gets home I cant shut up, he tells me I talk to much. After 8 yrs of marriage we no longer talk, have different bedrooms, no sex. And we are only 40. I go to a dr for the last 13yrs every 3 months , he calls him my "crazy dr" when I have an appointment. My memory is GONE. I've been on meds the whole time. But he makes fun of me for my behavior so we don't do anything together. My 16 yr old son just recently was shot in the face and almost died October 5th. I have been a different person since then, meaning worse I cry like I lost him. And my husband says to suck it up, hes alive, go back to work. It's been 5 months, lots of surgeries, and he doesn't understand how it still feels like yesterday. I'm so tired of trying to explain how I feel. That's my baby boy. I love my husband but I think it's time to leave the relationship
Sounds like he’s very toxic and as a consequence makes your anxiety even worst. I’m guessing your son is not his son? Because you’re reaction is understandable, that’s your kid. You are beautiful and I hope you situation has changed since you wrote this one year ago and you decided to leave that relationship and find someone that helps your anxiety instead of making it worst 🙏🏻 best wishes for you.
I watched this so many times. Not because my ex has anxiety, but because I do and it really has helped me look at myself in a way that is so productive for my growth. The work is hard, but it's amazing to feel like a more secure person after a time of self reflection and self improvement.
Well my ex seemed to be equally avoidant as he was anxious. On the one hand, he opened up and shared so much with me in such a short period of time, and he wanted to connect with me every single day. But on the other hand, he abruptly broke up with me out of the blue when everything was going super well. He told me that he has issues with intimacy, which I never would have suspected because he was so vulnerable and open with me, from the get-go. I miss him so much, it sucks.
Craig you’re amazing. Thank you for giving us all of this valuable, life changing information at no cost ❤️
best TH-cam channel for advic. my family is hooked
WOW...fantastic video! You basically described my childhood & explained how I my anxious attachment style was formed. I am hyper vigilant, but unfortunately I have been accurate about an ex cheating. Avoidants are our kryptonite.
Craig, I'm so sorry to hear about your pet rabbit. Your story made me cry. I have a similar story of a cat, and I knew where we were going to move the cat would die. I also screamed and cried and begged and made as much of a scene as I could; but my parents didn't listen. On Valentine's Day of that year, he got his by a car, and I watched as he died. You are right, till this day I am angry and sad, and you're right I didn't feel heard. Thank you for sharing your story.
I nearly cried when hearing your rabbit story, so very devastating and I'm so sad that happened to you :(
Yeah it was pretty rough
😔
Thank you for sharing a little about yourself. I enjoy your videos because they help me understand myself, other people and, why I behave the way I do. I've learned a lot in a very short space of time.
please tell me how to change my attachment style from anxious to secure? I really want to save my current relationship!
#TheKnowledge workbooks will help!
Are you ok? I’m going to order workbooks next month
The best explanation of multiple personality coach. My mom physically abused me until I was 21 and I finally left home. I pretended to everyone that I was this delicate overprotected child. I had men chase me sometimes 4-8 at a time . I didn’t know why which made me scared of men, so the first man I felt protective ,I married. He put me on a pedestal so I imagined but he neglected me because of his gambling addictions and finally left me and my two babies after 5 yrs of me doing to him what my mom did to me. The divorce was a blessing I had therapy and so did my 3 yo son. He now is a Marine and has Ptsd I have been forwarding your videos to him and he will have coaching with either of you as soon as I can afford it. My daughter had with Margaret .She has also therapists since 18 because she can’t cut the cord from me. Now she is starting her own clinic and we are still on the healing process . I have your knowledge workbook . My bf dumped me because I was insecure , jealous and smothering. I bottomed down and found you. I almost broke no contact but held on to you and Margaret and he reached out. We are slowly reuniting but I want to analyze if he is a good partner basing on your workbook and not just on my intense attraction . God made you my blessings, also to my daughter and my son. I love you both
I love your videos, as a mother I don’t understand how that could’ve happened to you in you’re youth in childhood. The rabbit situation killed me literally! My feelings while you were telling your story, well, I was beside myself and couldn’t stop the tears. You are very genuine and I can tell just by watching all your videos and the way that you are. You’re great, intelligent, caring, sympathetic, empathetic and the list goes on. I know you have a child or children but I don’t know if you’re married, engaged or have a girlfriend. You deserve someone great beside you. But anyway that is none of my business. I wish you all the best in your life because you are one dude that deserves it. Be blessed coach and keep being you
Thank you for helping so many people out there that are unaware of their own issues and how to help themselves.😁
Viewed your video again this morning. I can't tell you how enlightening your work is and to realise how important it is to understand how childhoold issues affect our lives. I have spent 11 years trying to work out why my partner behaves as he does and your video reveals it all. Not only his issues but my childhood issues and why I have responded as I have done. You have very deep insights which are valuable to us all. Thank you.
Dating a man for 9 months.
And I was always trying to win him by catering and being understanding of all his
sensitivities. Now I see I am I
anxious one and he is avoidant. Throughout I thought I wasn’t doing things right, not attractive enough etc. Now I see wanting what he can’t give which was the little warmth everyone needs.
Avoidants are very sensitive
prickly and scared but it feels very cold being with them. They offer nothing of themselves, no feeling for connecting with another.
Very stingy
I'm so sorry about your childhood. I'm glad you're turning it into a positive by helping us over the years. Thanks
I for one appreciate your efforts Craig. Your video's helped me a lot the past couple of months, both in relationships and growing as a person. Thank you.
By the way, I love that you're so open about your own experiences.
A truly powerful sharing here. Thank you so much. You have amazing insight and understanding of the relationship topic, as evidenced through your sharing of your life experiences. Please keep doing these topics, as often as possible.
My niece has bunnies and I had rabbits growing up and I know how you must have felt.
The traits you listed on what to look for in anxious attachment styles, is so very much me! I just wish I found your channel much sooner, that way my girlfriend and I could have watched it together and probably would have prevented our breakup three months ago. However, my anxiety kicked in because of my separation anxiety due to the pandemic and that led to the breakup.
Listening to this episode takes me back to my childhood... I had a really abusive father growing up. I had a baby rabbit and my dad wouldn't let me bring it in during a bad snow storm. I found my rabbit the next day frozen in its cage. 😪
This feels so familiar to me, Craig. But instead of controlling what I ate, at about 11 years old I developed trichotillomania (obsessively pulling hairs off of my head) as a means to cope with the anxiety. I am still trying to heal from that. My father was mostly absent. My mother was very controlling, demanding, and - I came to learn from what she said herself - she thought leaving me in alone in the crib to "cry it out so that I wouldn't be a spoiled child" was a good idea. Actually, she went to great lengths to make sure I wouldn't grow up a spoiled kid, because I was an only child. I don't recall much at all about my childhood, only a constant feeling of walking on eggshells, mixed with a deep loneliness, and an almost military-level anxiety about being a good student (or else!). I believe I am moderately anxiously attached. But I have been learning a lot over the years. Thank you for these videos, they are very healing and enlightening. Hugs from Brazil, - Amanda
I have watched your channel for years. Its really helped me to understand my relationship of 2 1/2 yrs. Im an avoidant.
Thank you 🙏🏻
A million times “like” this video!! It’s very helpful and informative in understanding anxious attachment style. Thanks, Coach!!
Do more like this. Talk about adoption and the effect of relationships. My child mom is adopted and it’s making relationship so hard for her to relax and trust that I’m here for her !!!
Yes coach , the actions you mentioned for anxiety are exactly what I have done on some occasions . I have learnt to calm myself down in the past few years but every now and then it comes back 😫. This sometimes is very hard to control , when my anxiety takes over , I get extremely anxious and lash out or start shaking . Very embarrassing at times 😞.
I can definitely relate to this video.onky if I could have seen this video before my break up. Sucks when you realize what you did in the relationship and now know what to fix. You live and learn and and have to fix these issues. At least we now know. Best wishes
It's crazy! During my university years I'd tell myself that I felt as if I was inside a bubble. I didn't know why I was feeling that way. If I was just lazy because my friends couldn't understand it and they were doing fine. Mental health problems should be taught at school!!! Never learned anything related to it. And I know think I started getting very anxious at 12/13
This is a big part of why my partner left me. I wish I had watched this before our breakup...
Same here. But at least we are doing are part to learn and be better individuals. Best wishes
What I don’t understand is my ex of 15 months was sexually abused twice by two different men. She was anxious for most of the relationship but a month before her sexual abuse trial, she became distant and wanted space. I gave it to her for a month until I caught her deleting things of us off Instagram. At that point we decided to mutually part ways when she couldn’t explain why - I was anxious. She’s now super promiscuous, sleeping with multiple people and tweeting about it non-stop. It was like she went from anxious to avoidant overnight and now back to anxious for a new relationship. Been in NC for 4 weeks.
Thanks for sharing us your videos for free!!! We want you to know how much positive impact you are bringing in our lives!!! You are helping us in a great way no other person can give. Thank you so much for your kindness! You are awesome!! You're all words are god damn real!
Thank you for making things crystal clear to us. It's not easy, but it helps a lot.
Craig… you’re amazing. Im so glad to be able to watch all of your videos. You help me alot. Inspiring..
Amazing insight Craig. Thank you for the video.
Great video, Hey Craig I'm recognising that both parties in a relationship can have anxiety issues that contaminate in different ways.
How does "no contact" work with these personalities?
One of your best videos on anxious attachment, in my opinion!
"i only want what i need from someone who can't give it to me"
Wait so if I give them what they need they will no longer want me??
Knowing that it hurts even more that I didn't spend more attention. I worked with help on me but she I now moving in with him within 2 months knowing him... Filling her time with immediate vacations an so on....
Craig, you absolutely nailed this one. I’ve been banging my head against the wall with a girl you described. Great advice all around- love your videos!!!
Thanks for sharing your story Craig. I love watching your channel! So inciteful! Doing your workbooks at the moment. Im having revelations everyday. Appreciate what you do. Keep doing it. You are helping people in ways im sure you dont even realize. Amazing, amazing stuff!
Wow I'm anxious attachment🤔 lord help me. So glad u did this . I would love a video how to ease this.
No worries my friend. 1st thing, Schedule yourself an appointment with a Psychotheraptist in your area and they should also help you get into counseling to deal with these issues.. Blessings to you for we are 1 in the same.
Hi Craig.Thank you for sharing your personal stories with us.It's very touching....it's also very helpful and makes your attachment explanations easier to understand.. So appreciative to you for being extremely generous in sharing these thoughtfully put together incredibly helpful videos....I find you to be so so interesting.. ❤
Interesting bit about the eating issues. I had similar issues with eating. Had all the adults dancing as a kid!
so it seems like i am going to spend most of my sunday from learning from this attachment playlist. Wow.
This is definitely me and I'm working on myself. I cried the first half of this video.
Do The Knowledge!
So sorry about what happened with your rabbit. Thanks for sharing. I'm realising I have times when I felt really unheard in my childhood too
The rabbit story is the worst f*cking thing I've heard in a long time. I would never get over that!
It was definitely something I won't forget
THIS really helped me understand my girlfriend! Thank you!
Dear Craig I love your videos. Honest I can't afford your coaching so I write here.
Please do a video on disorganized attachement style. Pretty sure I just was with someone who is both in both degrees. Very nervous to prove himself worthy, and controlling and needy. Later he became avoidant. Blocked me out of his life and now he is involved with 3 women (yes correct)
While it may only be 2% I am sure the percentage of confused people who need professional advice have a greater degree of invovlement with disorganized attachement style. I bet it can easily be 10%.
Thanks again for your videos
Every time I watch this video and you tell the rabbit story my heart aches.....Craig, that is a life changing event.....to not feel heard is the worst.....
Another wonderful video! I really appreciate your advise and help!
Thankyou so much Craig!
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is very effect treatment for this kind of thing. I learned about 3 months ago started implementing it in my daily life and I have calmed down a good bit already. Hoping it helps in my next relationship as well.
Craig .Please make a video that talks about HOW we can correct or change our attachment styles that are causing problems in probably all our relationships..How did you learn to have a different more secure attachment style and HOW do we learn to be attracted to someone that is NOT like what caused our trauma in the first place? How do we learn to be attracted to someone who CAN give us what we want in a mentally healthy way?? HOW Craig??? Thank you, Barbie Kelly
Wow. I resonate with this so much... thank you so much Craig for this and all of your amazing videos. I am so very grateful!
It explains everything really well. I have never known so much about others. I have felt that but not KNOWN:
This video is amazing. Thanks Craig. You've hit the nail on the head with this one.
Very touching story coach, Thank you for putting the time to make this useful videos. Your information is highly valuble and is helping many like me understand and deal with break ups better.
What I want to know is... is there an Independent Attachment Style" or a "Integrity Attachment Style"? I'm being serious! LOL When I was little, my father worked until he broke his back, which until then, my mother was a stay at home mom, as I'm the youngest of 10. Yes I said ten. It was intense and the struggle was real. My siblings and I were always fighting and beating the crap out of each other. But as adults, we are close and tight, except one sister who is wacked and off the rails with always starting drama. So my brothers and my other four sisters have disowned her.
I was always independent growing up and I work better alone. We also had a family business which I was deep into and learned a ton about relationships watch my father do business deals. So when it came do dating and where most guys feel rejection, not me, in my mind it was just a bad business deal that went south. Plus, like in business, you advertise all over and you know not everyone likes or needs what you are selling. But the biggest thing was learning integrity and doing the right thing with customers. Like going the extra mile, not being devious, shody, and I came up with a saying that I live by and operate by in my business... Say what you mean, mean what you say, and always, always, always, follow through! So, when it comes to relationships, I began to learn early on in my first long term relationship about patterns, habits and behaviors. I'm all about actions speak louder than words and when a girlfriend's actions stop matching her words, it is like the air raid sirens going off and the 4th of July fireworks with my gut saying "PAY ATTENTION!" Here and there, no big issue as life happens. But when I start see a pattern of it, time to hit the road before the shit hits the fan! It sounds bad. But Craig as we both know women don't like guys solving their problems and the whole empathy thing comes into play. Yeah I get it and have it. However, where do women consistently mess up? Instead of dealing with problems with their mate, they go running to family and friends for advice. When I look back on my relationships, they all failed because of outside influences. Its bad enough when women do this. But worse when their family members feel the need to come to me and play therapist! The one this is what our problem was, which I 'm sure Craig know that men like to take big problems and make them small and women little to take little problems and make them big. For example if I told her to hurry with getting ready (not a major problem) she would run to family and friends, who would not just give her crappy advice, they would call or come over to jump down my throat... "Dana, do you want her to look good? Then lay off of her about how long it takes to get ready!" Meanwhile if I had to go in to work early and need sleep, while she is already off telling other friends " Dana doesn't want to spend time with me at night. He comes home, eats, showers and goes to bed!" Sometimes I had to work multiple 16 hours shifts and drive an hour to and from work! That leaves 6 hrs or 8 hrs off. Grab food and a shower now I was down to 4 or 3 hrs of sleep! But just as I am clearing up the last issue with them that we were going to be , here come some other female friend saying "Dana, if you want to keep her, you really need to start spending more time with her!" That one was a vicious circle and finally I got tired of it when I told her to keep her family and friends out of our relationship. She didn't like it so time to cut the cord!
That is why I'm very independent and I am there going the things I need to, listening, asking what can I help you with? Provide options to her problems so she thinks I'm not solving them, being supportive, doing the C.A.P.E. stuff... But when I don't get the same in return, I'll bring it up. ignore the problem and leave it unresolved, I shut down and withdraw as I'm planning my exit strategy! She can go find someone else to be selfish with and have a one-way street relationship with someone else!
I just keep coming back to my saying of integrity. Funny about the no contact thing too. when I have broken up and either side, I'm no contact and I have never wanted to get back together with ANY of them.. they become has beens. I have tried it a couple of time with girl I worked with and what a mistake! So when they do come around, its never good! I tell them I don't do second chances and you should have thought long and hard before you made your choice. When it has been me breaking up with them and they come back around, basically the same only I say when I told you there was a problem and you went into female mode and got selfish you should have taken it seriously! Now go let someone else deal with you and help pay your bills!
I know I have issues and just much better off single as integrity was gone out the window since I was a kid! People actually cared and helped each other. Now everyone is for themselves! And you say I have problems?
It's not true that anxiously attached people attach too quickly to someone new.I've been trying for a year to move on with other people does not work.and after my first relationship it took more than a year to move on.
same here
It's been almost a year for me as well.ive been a lot better thanks to coach craig.i appreciate your work. Thank you coach.you made me realize many things and I've been watching how to be a master of relationship videos.so I'll be emotionally secure for myself and when I have an opportunity with someone new that comes in my life.
I was an anxious attachment individual, I would leave a relationship and go straight to a new one fearing that one was going to leave me too. What I was looking for in a relationship was a mother figure.....mom never left me but she never gave me nurturing or love.
Hi Madakina, did you break up with your ex boyfriend (frst relationship) or did he (she?) break up with you?
He is saying ATTACH. NOT MOVE ON TO NEW RELATIONSHIP...
That happened to me with my 3 month old puppy. I went to visit my cousin in California and was so worried about my puppy and I got home two weeks later and nobody was home and I found the puppy under the bed, dead. My friends were always talking about how mean my mother was. Recently they brought up a few scenarios and I was like wow that’s extreme abusive. Totally forgot about them bc I was so used to being treated that way and was conditioned not to talk about it
Can you do a video about feelings trapped in a relationship
I'd love if you could do a video on relationships where both people have an anxious attachment style and the effects that can have.
Also is trying to reconcile with someone who has an anxious attachment style different to trying to reconcile with someone who has another attachment style.
My ex bf had an anxious attachment style and I feel I can understand why such small things became arguments to me and how I often felt like he couldn't hear me. I would handle things differently now. I tried reaching out to him after about a month of separation and he he said he felt anxious whenever he heard from me and he needs time to heal. It's been almost 3 months since then. I do get tempted to reach out but I haven't done it.
Even tho i understand them, and i find it really sad.... Being in a relationship with someone who sucks the life out of you by their need for reassurance is just overexhausting.
I wish I had of listened to this before I started dating my ex gf of 5 years just left me 😢
So much sense now .
I didn’t understand all
The accusations ! Wow
I have anxious attachment style and I'm trying my best not to be anxious as much as possible
Thank you for such a great video. I seen a lot of what I did to lose the woman I loved. You live and you learn. I'm definitely learning alot through your videos coach. I appreciate you! Thank you
Thank you so much for doing all this for us. Send u lots of love and light.
Best video that ive watched on the subject
New to your channel. Your videos are amazing. I felt so much anxiety in my body just hearing your rabbit story, and felt your pain. Its terrible what your stepdad did to hurt you willfully. I think I must be partly anxious, part avoidant, part secure attachment. I don't vocalize my anxieties often. Is there such a thing having a combination style? Can you please do a video on how the combo style affects relationships and what to do for more balance, to overcome the hypersensitivity.
This is a great video Craig. Ive watched so many of your videos over the months. Ive explored and even paid for the advice of others. Your stuff is probably the most helpful although your advice has me wondering why do an email or skype when you recommend not talking to your ex.Like what can you recommend? Or what kind of game plan can you form when you are not to pursue an ex? For me personally I think you are great for those in need but only for comfort and clarity. I wish I would have found you right away and listened. I made mistakes then got on the right path. Bit its too late for me now. I am doing the work though. Your avoidant video was good too. I was an anxious with an avoidant situation. It was bad.
Wow Craig..I too had the same childhood as you!
I gotta be honest bro, this vid made me cry.
This is such an excellent video ❤️
Hmmm... I've watched several of your videos on Avoidant attachment and several on Anxious attachment, but I can't seem to find any on Fearful-Avoidant (Anxious-Avoidant). Do you have any on this attachment type, or will you consider making a video soon? Thanks! :)
Generally attachment style is broken down into Secure, Anxious, Avoidant and Disorganized (the last of which is the most rare). I'm definitely planning on continuing to put out more content on attachment styles as they are incredibly helpful to understanding ourselves, our needs, and our partners behaviors. I kind of wanted to off more general as to not overwhelm people.
Since I'm adding new videos Monday-Friday I'm always looking for ideas. So I really appreciate your suggestion. I will put it on my to do list.
i think i have it. i fear closeness but i have activating strategies when the other does not reciprocate.
Craig, ur attachment videos helps me and my family big time! You r saving our emotion! We are not overwhelmed by the attachment style videos at all. We need more and no other coach can compare thus insights with you!
Type it in TH-cam with his name. He has videos of it...
Thanks for the video. Great info. What can be done if one partner is anxious and the other is avoidant? Is there any hope for a couple like this or should they go their separate ways?
Sherl T I'm told that this is typical for most relationships. Don't give up. With a good therapist you can get through it! ❤️
avoidants are more likely to be attracted to anxious and vice-versa. My ex is an avoidant and I'm anxious. Trying to get her back, even though I undestand that she won't be an easy person to deal with if she really comes back.
I love this channel
Thank You Craig for enlightening me. I have an anxious attachment style. I want to work on this. I'm still with my boyfriend of six years but I would like to make this a healthier relationship.
wow!that rabbit story broke my heart....so sorry that happened to you :(
Very very good video
Is there any way to get a ex back after learning about all this?
Thank you for your work 🙏
Fudge that is me 100% many of my relationships have ended because of this.
I always wondered why my brother can remember a lot of things but I could not, my brother is only 1 year younger than me. He got most of the attention and then we had another brother lol.
Great content! Learning a lot. Pshychology is a subject that is very interesting to me! You mentioned people ypu looked up to, What are some of the other psychotherapists that you would recommend studying?
Excellent video
The very thing that we are afraid to happen we cause to happen.
Awesome.
I wonder what makes this girl has an anxious personality instead of avoidant personality when she was harassed at childhood? Wouldn't she be an avoidant type?
I'd say Anxious... because of the anticipation of what was coming daily. Even if she was AVOIDING them. They would have still looked for her to do this to her. Hope this gives a little more insight..
Hi coach Craig, thank you so much for your videos. They have helped me understand my current situation very much more than I did before. I have now identified that my ex girlfriend who broke up with me almost 3 months ago has an anxious attachment style. 2 months after the breakup I explained to her that I need time to heal and haven't been in contact since. Her 18th birthday is this month and I want to wish her but I'm not sure if that is the right thing to do. Can you give me some insight into what I should do please?
Edit: I think I'm an avoidant attachment but now I know so I will definitely work on it; but I did go into separation anxiety for the first 2 months of the breakup, but managing that now.
Thank you so much these videos are tremendously helpful if I am ever able to afford some time with you I will book some time. I suspect I'm going to need more than a few hours. :(
Damm... Thank you for that!!!
That explain a lot for me!!!!
Omg thia is my ex to a tee, 🤦🏻♂️ err I could have done so much (now in hindsight) to comfort her more... This is her!!!!
My ex triggered all my anxiety by keeping our relationship as a secret. My anxiety was right.
So I'm wondering then my ex is anxious and he stopped out relationship when a situation where I was sick and I didn't respond to his texts now it's been 2 months he won't speak to me or respond to my text. Question is does the no contact work with anxious attachment people . I haven't reached out in over 30days.