Anorexic Woman interview-Sophie
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 28 เม.ย. 2022
- Soft White Underbelly interview and portrait of Sophie, an anorexic woman in San Diego, California.
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She's 82 pounds, Mark, what do you mean, "I've seen skinnier girls than you"? Why on earth would you say that to her?
Wasn't he reading a quote?
He was just saying that there’s girls that are way more skinnier, that they are technically dying, like eugenia cooney, that’s sad man. I feel so sad for them :( I struggled too
Nothing mark says will be worse than the voices in her own head.
@@nsw1992 still, what's the thought process? That's the worst thing you could tell an anorexic person.
@@theyreMineralsMarie calm down edge lord
when Mark said towards the end, "I've seen much skinnier girls than you", Sophie's silent pause rang so loud. I'm positive that his one statement is going to be her greatest takeaway from this interview.
oh no, he said that? her fragile disposition already makes this hard to watch
Did he accidently say it?
42:48 That's like saying "I've seen much fatter girls than you" to someone struggling with obesity.
As a 33 year old male who has always struggled with being underweight, there's definitely a double standard here.
It's not ok to talk about someone being overweight, but super common for someone to tell you you're too skinny and 'need to eat more'
As a skinnier male, it's also common and frustrating for someone to underestimate my strength. Like, "yes, I can lift this 40lb bag of dog food on my own, thank you"
@@drdwgmd14 i went to the time stamp. it wasn't an accident, but it's not as bad as people are making it out to be in the comment section. with context, i found the comment to be unremarkable
I really cringed when he said that and I was really disappointed in him for saying it. I love him and this channel but to say that to someone with anorexia who LITERALLY just spent the last 40 minutes telling you her insecurities seemed really insensitive.
The core of it:
Getting raped is trauma.
Getting groomed is trauma.
She is in active addiction, due to unresolved trauma.
You don’t need to have had a shitty childhood to have been traumatised by experiences you have had.
The other part of it, is her belief that she is not good at anything, and has “no talents.”
Being anorexic is the only thing she receives validation from, so she’s formed her entire identity around it.
That’s hard to give up.
also there is neglect in her childhood
it is very hard to give up. i loved it. it’s still something i grieve. i’m 1.5 years out of treatment and i’m extremely grateful i mostly recovered.. but i still partly miss it. it’s super hard to give up
@@albinofrog5593 I’m so glad you are trying to hang in there and have the life that you deserve. Sending you all the love and best for the year ahead. Xx
@@arianebeauchamp6916 thank you so much, you as well xxx
But she was a child when all this happened. She needs to admit she was traumatized/abused as a child.
"I've seen much skinnier girls than you" just guaranteed that she won't be getting better anytime soon. And she agreed with you, SO SAD. I am so proud of her for speaking up about that after she took a minute to gather her thoughts. I had to rewatch that part a few times because I was like there is NO WAY that was just said to an anorexic who just poured her heart out. As a recovered anorexic for like 10 years now I - I just - I just... I am sickened. Sophie, if you ever read this, omg what can I even say, I am SO sorry someone suffering as badly as you had to hear such nonsense, please don't lose anymore weight. Recovery is possible for you! I had the same thoughts about being weight restored and could never imagine myself at a certain weight, when your mind recovers you will realize that your weight restored body is beautiful and still incredibly thin I promise you.
He's listening to her, but her can't BE her. It's not his fault he doesn't have an anorexic manual. And it's clear he said it to give her hope. It's not his fault in her mind it will put her down. At the end of the day SHES SICK. you can be as compassionate as you possibly can but at the end of the day, EVERYONE she comes across may unconsciously say or do something wrong.
@@sophiamilton1557 Just No. It’s insensitive and tone deaf AF. People with this disorder DIE from it. He shouldn’t be interviewing her if he didn’t have time to read a paragraph or 2 about what it is. Even just based on what she says in real-time is enough to infer it’s not a good idea to comment on her body. She’s not “slim” - Look it up. She’s GD starving.
I know Mark was saying it. Ok’ing from a good place , and I’m sure he learned from this interview how those words can be TAKEN Vs what he meant by them. I agree with you, by hee saying something I don’t doubt that he learned something that day. ❤️❤️❤️❤️ I admire him so much for his compassion interviewing broken people, I can’t imagine how much he has learned about humans through his work!
Yawn. Might wanna do some growing up there.
His “fans,” more similar to obsessive fans with a superiority complex thinking watching these videos alone makes them a better human are so disgusting honestly. being in this comment section is sickening and also hilarious how willing they are to ignore basic common sense to keep mark as an angelic figure in their head. i mean this crazy lady^ somehow lives inside his head and constructed a whole fantasy of what mark did after the video like wtf? Clearly it’s not a one off thing and he makes many comments like this spread throughout his videos yet there’s rarely any critics in the comments because they get berated by these people for simply having a different opinion and not using toxic positivity to protect his image, they work so hard like they’re getting paid lol seriously. poor girl i really hope she gets better but she lives in a world where people obsess over weight and where people will comment on her weight regardless of them making themselves to appear more empathetic than the average person.
I can’t belive he said that he’d ”seen girls much skinnier than her”. As an anorectic it is VERY triggering to hear. Competition and comparison are two big components in the illness itself. Hearing something like that feeds the eating disorder. And leaves you feel not good (skinny) enough.
Yea that wasn’t good
This made me cringe so hard. Why did he think that was ok to say? Especially since he has a daughter with an ED
@@piplup5680 I think he realised and that’s when he ended the interview. I’m sure those words are ringing In her head to this minute
@@dreamcrazy36 yeah I don’t think he meant it maliciously, it was just really surprising hearing him say that after everything she just talked about
@@piplup5680 totally. Even I was triggered ! I’m normal weight but obsessed.
When someone told me when I was anorexic that I wasn’t “that skinny” when I was 20+ pounds underweight, it ruined me. I became hospitalized. Why why why would anyone ever say to an anorexic person “I’ve seen skinnier than you”. It’s a competitive disease and any anorexic will take that as a challenge. My god that was horrific to hear
I was immediately triggered and knew what it did to her and I’m proud of her for speaking about it after. But i do agree with mark, that everyone can’t walk on egg shells because we have issues.. we will find motivation one way or another. Mark isn’t a therapist … But yes, very hard to hear
that's because you are crazy it's your problem dont push it on others. if words hospitalize you then you simply need to grow up and get over yourself
This guy is pure evil.
He was trying to destroy her for fun.
@@UncomplicatedFellow he gave his own daughter an eating disorder.
That made me so mad.
Honestly I think Mark might be a sociopath
“You can’t talk to any woman about her weight”?! THAT is your takeaway? I can’t even. Yeah, dismiss an illness and a gender simultaneously.
hes not wrong tho
When I was anorexic my voice shook like this. It was so hard to talk and have the energy to think of what to say even. Wishing her recovery. I promise it is worth it.
Yes I had the shaking voice
First thing I thought ... It usually happens when I'm really nervous and it's uncontrollable. How long have you been in recovery?
Yup I was cold all the time & constantly out of breath
@@seaturtlepoppy7679 it was two years this summer 👏🏼
@@junemarieweaver974 - congrats!
My wife and I lost our beautiful daughter to anorexia just a year and a half ago...this wonderful young woman is so much like my daughter...I can see all the talks we had...all the worry...all the pain she felt for "hurting" us...in Sophia. It is a road I wish for no one, the hardest road in life. Peace to you Sophia, I wish nothing but healing and release from any pain you have in the form of one single moment of personal clarity you may have that propels you from your troubles. All it takes...is one moment of clarity...to see and feel that there is a better way...you are loved.
Well said
So sorry for your loss...our young women are so vulnerable, and this world is so wicked. 🌹
My deepest condolences to your family!
So very sorry for your loss💔
Wishing you healing & peace & love
& many blessings
I’m so sorry for your loss.
My sister had anorexia. What cured her was she fell in love, wanted to get married and have kids, but she had no periods anymore, and her doctor said unless she gained enough weight to start her reproductive cycle again, kids weren’t even a possibility. Slowly she did gain just enough to start her menstrual cycle again, and ended up with 5 children, who gave her the unconditional love, and purpose that she needed. She began to blossom and thrive, as she cared for them.
The husband who supported her in this deserves such kudos.
Desire for motherhood brought me into recovery too!
This is such a beautiful comment ❤
It's not falling in love that "cured" your sister. Has nothing to do with having kids. It's just being married. Women pack on pounds like crazy once they're married, to the extreme irritation of their husbands. It's doesn't even matter if they get married when they're really thin and 19 years old--they fatten up like a good farm cow.
when she said she doesn’t think she’s good at anything or has any talents except for her looks… broke my heart she is so intelligent and compassionate
The minute Mark said “I’ve seen girls much skinnier than you” I was like OH NO! That will spin in her head for weeks. It’s clear that the most innocuous, seemingly positive words can become triggers and weapons in the mind of a person with an eating disorder. What a brutal situation for anyone who loves them. What can you say?
Apparently nothing.
He's creating some of the most powerful and genuine content on the planet. It's disheartening to see these comment jackals ready to pick him apart.
@@wes_m most powerful, is that the grandiosity speaking? And then we see the covert come out, apparently i do nothing..... genuine sincerity does not need ego stroking
Right it's literally the worst thing he could have said to her. What a jackass
@@SoftWhiteUnderbelly if she decides to take that comment as a challenge to lose more weight, that’s not on you. That’s the disordered thinking. Keep doing your thing Mark.
18:35 she smiled genuinely when she said she was 82 lbs now. In case anyone didn’t notice, THATS why it’s a psychiatric disorder. She was genuinely happy to be back to her lowest weight, you could see the glimmer in her eye but she knows that everyone doesn’t think that same way so her smile IMMEDIATELY stopped and she felt awkward. I’ve had an eating disorder before and to relapse to my lowest weight put a smile on my face because it felt like an accomplishment to me. She seems like such a sweet person, I hope she gets the support she needs to get her health back. She’s dying slowly and she doesn’t know it yet 💔
To be fair she probably does know it, and is either ok with it or doesn’t have the brain where with all to realize how big of a deal that is… malnourishment greatly affects the way you see your life and it’s worth
I wonder if she is a Eugenia Cooney fan?
Yikes I saw it.... good catch, its like Nick Avacado being happy he hit 400 pounds... they WANT to be unhealthy?
People also smile and laugh sometimes as a defense mechanism when they feel guilty, convicted, embarrassed etc. It’s not always a sign of joy/happiness/pride.
Not saying you’re wrong, but I’m not going to read a lot into a smile.
I smile and laugh when I feel like I'm telling someone things I shouldn't say, and I don't know why but I've always been this way.
I know a lot of people are reprimanding Mark for his comment at the end but you know what I love more? That she called him out on it and taught us all a very valuable lesson. Like she said, we may say things and we don’t know that it will do harm because that’s not our intention so her calling him out and highlighting that for him and all of us was such a powerful moment.
If you get to read this, you are so strong and amazing. I can see you want to be happy with yourself and your life-because you came on this channel, because you are in therapy, because you care about your cat (just to name a few things) Even if you feel like nothing has worked, you’re trying things to find a solution. Keep going. I am sending you so much love and light. Thank you for being open with us and sharing your story.
Na I am just hear trying to hear her side of the story. I had thought anorexia was based off height. Like most girls want to be smaller then there other partner but her height was average 5 4 so she is quite middle line. Apparently I am wrong. its more attention seeking, her trying to be ok with her body and failing, and competitiveness with this artifical sport that she feels a false sense of validation from it. It started from male validation, but was it from good looking guys validation or was it all guys?
The folks who comment will "pay it forward" in a mf STARBUCKS line and then criticize Mark (a photographer) for his psych skills. I'm glad when people check Mark on his ignorance, but HOT DAMN he can't be a specialist in everything and he shows us a great example of how someone unacquainted with an issue would approach it with empathy. I'd love to see how much Mark's haters contribute to charities each year.
@@vverkeststop worshipping this man. You are making him rich. The only thing he does is listen and post for you losers that need to be entertained by the sad trainwrecks he finds for you. He puts up backdrop and listens. He doesn't really care who gets hurt
I don’t even think that any lesson was learned by him, though. He brushed it off as “you can’t tell any woman about her weight”… Given that he’s done these videos for a while, he should have learned by now to educate himself about harmful things he can say to people with psychiatric disorders. So irresponsible and shameful, Mark. And no response to any of this criticism. Wow.
@@tresbonoeufI’m amazed you think he even reads these comments!!
There is so much more to life than being thin. I've overcome an ED, and 29:52 really hit home when she said she'd rather die than not be skinny. I hope Sophie realizes someday that being skinny is NOT worth your true happiness. I was able to get through it, hoping she can too
As a recovered for the most part anorexic, I can’t imagine how horrible she felt being told there are much skinnier girls. It’s the worst thing an anorexic can hear. She even repeated it so you know she feels like she has to lose more now.
Especially because she is 82 lbs.
I hate being compared to other women and I'm not anorexic this would hurt my feelings I can imagine how this would affect someone with an ED
!
Agree
such an ignorant horrible comment on the interviewers end
Hypersexuality as self harm is a very real thing. It's different than just wanting to have sex for sex, it's like a coping skill. If that's something you struggle with, just know you deserve to be loved and treated kindly outside of anything sexual too. You're worthy of so much.
This comment hit home. I've never considered myself a sexual person despite my many partners and shifting relationships. I never cheated and stuck with one person at a time but it never lasted. I hated myself for how easy I was, cried after intercourse but couldn't seem to stop, I engaged in other self harm behaviors at the time. Now, I'm celebrating a year of abstinence on May 10th, 2022. I'm the happiest I've ever been, I've healed and feel worthy of a good man. By the grace of the Lord Jesus, He has saved me over the years from death..suicide, addictions, and mental illness. The last thing I needed to give up was sex outside of marriage and my weekly wine habit. I give all glory to God because I could have never done it on my own 🙌 God bless you all ❤
@@jessicamerced9116 sending you love, I'm glad you took the time to do what makes you feel happiest and found fulfillment 💗 this is one of the times where you get to see something happy on the internet for once
@@jessicamerced9116 Você acredita em energia negativa de envolvimento com várias pessoas em diversos relacionamento?
Im on the hypersexuality as self-harm to celibacy pipeline 🥲
This comment got to me, I always used it to feel wanted and liked, perhaps loved. When it’d end, I’d feel horrible about myself, I’d feel empty, used.
You put into words what I could not.
should have another interview hour with her, this is just barely scratching the surface of her pain, or bring her back for an update, please, we are all rooting for her and cowboy
I agree… especially when she brought up all her other issues especially BPD and taking adderall and all the other appetite suppressants. There’s a lot going here.
She continually says she's not good at anything but I see a young lady with an incredible ability of self-assessment ... most adults never reach a point where they can be so candid with themselves. Couple that with how articulate she is (when nerves settle down) and I see someone capable of GREAT success. I wish this sweet baby girl success ❤️
i felt this way as her too. man i wish i had the internet at that age, i'd be raking in the dough tho
🤬🤨This girl is dangerous!! 100,000 teens looking up to her in TikTok means she will undoubtedly lead some of them to their deaths. She’s indirectly grooming them. Killing herself is sad, but she needs to ban herself from all social media. Obviously anything goes on TikTok! WTF!
I recently lost my girlfriend to anorexia. Wish this girl all the peace in the world.
so very sorry for your loss. i hope you are able to heal soon 🤍
So sad… how old was she?
@@brothertn708 21
I'm sending you wishes for healing and love. I'm so sorry you're going through this.
🥺🙏❤️
sophie’s saying she feels like a shell of who she used to be hits hard. anorexia quite literally sucks the life out of everything it touches. we’re thinking of you, sophie, and we’re all rooting for your recovery.
Fuck I feel like that having a drink and drug problem. Life's a bitch
Chronic addiction, “sucks the life out of everything it touches” 😔
She’s only 21. Her poor body & brain are still developing. I hope that she figures it out soon so in the future, it can become, ‘just’ something that she went through while she was growing-up…
The awful thing about anorexia is how it comes back to haunt you in your 40’s - 50’s. So many ex-anorexia sufferers discover, tragically too late, that they have damaged their hearts & other organs.
this woman needs to have her social media taken away
she is ruining herself and the young impressionable girls who follow her on tiktok
I want at least 10,000 USD for cringe reimbursement for the ending. "You're not even skinny like the pretty girls" briv
@@JoeDidIt whats her @?
When she talked about the internet being her abuse., it was spot on. The internet has been an awful influence in so many ways for our generation and humanity as a whole.
it's not the internets fault that humas are terrible to each other :(
She is so right about studies need to be done on her generation. Access to the internet, especially at a young age contains so much negative and harmful content. Despite her coping with her past traumas in this way you can tell she has a lot of psychological resilience. Her cat miraculously saving her life is-- I feel a good omen that she can get past a need for control and find inner peace along with health.
It is a form of child endangerment to give your child full access to a smart phone and not having any safe checks and restricrandomly not checking it randomly.
Millennials, too. Internet in our homes from toddler age or earlier. And the anonymity of 90s internet is objectively so much worse. The paedophilia/grooming was rife.
Mark please don't ever say to someone who is anorexic that you have seen skinnier especially when as she said it is competitive... challenge accepted. I believe it is important to bring this type of interview but PLEASE be mindful of this in the future. She is brave to tell her story!❤
You think she’s never heard that?
Stop telling people how to speak to others.
@@marialiyubman take your own advice!
Unless you understand the disease you wouldn't know not to say this- he didn't know.
Stfu god YASSSS SO BRAVE
@@marialiyubman are you... telling them how to speak to others? 😂
With all due respect, I'm absolutely GOBSMACKED that Mark would say that. After she spent damn near 40 minutes telling him about how anorexia is like a competition, he STILL said that? Tone deaf and insensitive, even if it was accidental.
@fern smith what makes you say that?
@fern smith i don't understand why he'd do that :(
So he said it in response to her referring to other people's picture in their head of a more emaciated looking person, in other words he was quoting what others meaning well might have said to her he did not say this to her and she even addressed this yall taking things outta context
@fern smith your face is embarrassing
@fern smith look at this whole ass channel. You really think Mark said that to be hurtful? Mark doesn't always say the right words, but you look at all his work and the help he provides for people you can kind of put 2 and 2 together. Really not that complicated... but you must be new here huh lol
the story about her cat is awesome.. jumping on her mom's chest to wake her up, alerting her to this young lady having health issues.. Amazing
❤❤❤
❤
I'm shocked that after she opened up to mark and told him all of her fears and struggles surrounding weight that he would in turn tell her at the end that I've seen much skinnier girls than you. You don't even have to have an eating disorder to know that that type of comment will send someone with ED into a tail spin! I don't believe he has seen much skinnier girls probably ever. People don't live much longer once they get below 80 lbs. I am proud of her that she called him out on that comment 👏 and then he seemed to completely brush it off when she did call him out like she was being too sensitive or something 🙄
sophie, you say you're not good at anything else. but when i watched you talk about your cat, i was almost brought to tears. you're so good at loving and caring for your cat. that may seem small to you, but that's a big deal. you have such a kind heart
Yes!
... at least she's good at petting cats.
She also seems smart enough to get a degree though, I think she just needs more faith in herself..
Don't let Satan into your head. She's a lovely woman.
❤❤ Hearing that was super sad too hear, So great At story telling, Maybe helping people in body image one day will be your superpower. I hope your doing better now a year later ❤️🙏🫶🏻fifi
A near miss is as good as a mile
I cringed when Mark said he's seen skinner because I knew exactly how she would interpret that comment. I love how she asserted herself at the end to explain how commenting on weight is not OK. A year ago, I was eating a high raw diet (for health reasons) and I lost 16 pounds unintentionally. People would not stop commenting on my weight which made me EXTREMELY uncomfortable, and I think all of those comments led my niece to develop an eating disorder. She's doing better now. I think what's so important for people who struggle with these types of disorders is that they learn how to love themselves and learn how to WANT to treat themselves well. These are incredibly self-destructive behaviors. YOU CAN CONTROL how well you treat yourself and your body. I hope her journey leads her to find self-love.
The Chanel is great but I have noticed on several occasions some of the interviewers questions/responses show why they should be carried out with a professional who has insight into trauma and psychological effects.
@@craigthomasc2543 I can't disagree. Situations like these are tricky because these are normal interactions and responses that people will have regardless of where they are. It's challenging for a person to understand another struggling with mental health if they have not. I know his goal is to spread awareness so the role he plays is concerning documentation. Although, I think on several occasions he has been able to help. Life is a learning experience, the more people can successfully practice love and compassion, the more we can help alleviate problems like these or even prevent them from happening.
It was so reckless of him
@@craigthomasc2543 theres a chance that people go to him because they don't want to go to a professional.
@@angelofdeath275 definitely he is doing great work overall
her talking about her connection with her cat was really beautiful and relatable
Honey, you have a great heart and you sound like a good mama and your kitty needs you. Not everyone is good with cats. Don't disappear, the world needs you and needs to hear your story. You're a powerhouse and you don't realize it.
She sounded like she really wanted to talk to someone about her life. I hope she is doing good.
Surely she's been in therapy and has told her story many times, but I had this sense, too.
she is so nervous!! the tremor in her voice and hands.. opening up like this, being so vulnerable is very difficult. she is a very strong person, and i hope she has a day of personal reckoning soon
That’s from not eating
the tremor in her voice is obviously because her body is so weak
even her voice is shaking basically
@@JoeDidIt I think you are right, it reminds me of how an older lady’s voice can sound. 😢
@@jbyrd9118 exactly, you got it.
@@JoeDidIt it’s probably a combination of both, but yeah
She seems so sweet and smart. Way smarter than the interviewer in fact. I truly hope she finds something worth getting better for and choses to live. We need more nice people like Sophie in this world!
Im currently in recovery and I have watched so many videos of people sharing their experiences. This interview really hit home.
There were so many things that she said about men, hypersexuality, feeling like your body is the only way you can get anything that resonated so bad with me. Maybe there is a formula for EDs
When she said that it was the only thing she was good at I felt it in my bones. It’s the only thing that keep you going. Seing the number on the scale going down and down it’s the only victory, the only hapiness. The rituals, the restrictions, the rules that you made up (and sometimes doesn’t even make any sense) that IS what’s keeping you alive. Biggest irony is, that’s also what’s slowly killing you
I wish they could use that self discipline in a different arena. I can’t imagine wanting to fend off pizza or ice cream let alone French fries. Pastry shops are so pretty and smell so good I wonder why I’m not diabetic. I hope she can find a way to let go and enjoy the fine foods we have in this country and how accessible it is for most of us. We are really a great country👍🏻❤️
@@tinawindham6958 ik you mean no harm but tbh this is not self discipline this is a disease. A disease of the mind. So it’s not even about the food, you can be anorexic and still love food and find it delicious. It’s not the food you hate it’s yourself. If you ever meet someone with an ED pls don’t tell them this, this is very triggering :(
POV you're looking at the comments shocked that "mark" would call her chubby and roast her like that.
@@tinawindham6958 Wtf is this comment.
@@tinawindham6958 first off nobody knows what country you are from, this is the internet. Based of the ignorance of your comment I’ve definitely placed my bet
When he says, "I've seen much skinnier girls than you"..... you can tell that sends her into a whirlwind. She stutters and stammers and cannot get control of her thoughts. Sophie I hope you can get through this. I was very close with a girl that struggled with anorexia and through a lot of therapy was able to "get better" and live a healthier lifestyle these days. I am sure she will carry those thoughts with her for many years to come but by God she has made leaps and bounds. Best of luck to you.
Mark did nothing wrong.
@@NotSure109 Didn't say he did
@@vigtime7816 Didn't say you did.
@@NotSure109 Then I'm "NOT SURE" why you felt the need to make that comment! 😂
There's something... that creeps me out about this Mark guy... Keeps these younger more attractive girls around longer and gives them more resources.. and then says he's SEEN SKINNIER GIRLS... wtf is the matter with you??
I agree with everything you say. Sometimes he interrupts and it’s just weird.
Sophie please keep working toward recovery. You are valued. Your family loves and needs you ❤️ You have so much life to live....so many wonderful experiences to explore! We are all rooting for you ❤️
You can hear the nervousness and anxiety in her voice. Hope this girl finds peace.
Yes, I thought so and possibly weakness.
Not weakness. Strength.
@@rachelrucker5642 nothing weak about having the courage to tell your story on here.
@@bashmeesh let me clarify, I'm just speaking in regards to physical weakness. Not proper nourishment for her body
No way did I mean she was weak in spirit, emotionally, mentally, or character.
@@nicolesawyer7117 just physical weakness.
Not any other way.
I really appreciate her honesty. Most people who struggle with eating disorders try and hide it and won’t admit to others let alone themselves. She is very smart and capable, when she is ready, she will get better.
She hit the nail on the head when she stated that she has made it her identity. She won’t get better until she decides she wants to get a life. Sounds harsh but I lived it. She found a community where she fits in and others look to her for inspiration and it makes her feel special. It’s very sad. She needs to try really hard to find a purpose in life, something she values more than being emaciated. More than feeling cool on social media. She says she doesn’t want to die but she hasn’t truly decided that yet. When she does, she’ll eat to live. She’ll eat like her life depends on it bc it does. Hopefully she survives that long.
Anyone with a disorder should get off the damn internet and go meet real actual people they can actually hang out with. This is coming from a hoarder. You know if i met people i could bring over i would cut it out. Only problem is my town doesn’t have anything for people my age to do. I live in a boomer-focused town and all the 20somethings here have no life and sit in their houses being sad.
She doesn’t want to die. Just because you’re starving yourself doesn’t mean you want to die 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️ but yes her behaviour of starving herself is damaging her body and ultimately more damage towards death but people who have eating disorders don’t do it because they want to kill themselves otherwise they would just go commit suicide immediately. You feel good eating less because it’s adding to the goal of being skinny, and that affirmation and validation just from knowing you are losing weight in your brain and seeing your body getting smaller, you get such a damn strong high in your brain from it. A feeling of validation, hence feeling loved. It’s just really like … hard.
No, it doesn't work that way. You still can't stop even knowing that.
I’m sure she doesn’t think she could die from this. She probably feels invincible.
My thoughts exactly. Her entire purpose in life is her ED. "It's the only thing I'm good at" "I'm part of a community" "people look up to me"... If she can find something else to fill these roles for her, I think she'll do well. But that's gonna require a lot more healing around all the inner pain she's running from.
What I believe is that she's never had anything of value to focus on. This is OCD at its worse. It is so very scary.The internet has poisoned many.This young woman has to find the motivation and the one thing that is more important than her looks. Not easy. Its extremely scary.
We had an anorexic son. Started in high school. Wanted to get abs. And then it kept going. Yes it can happen to boys too.
As is clear from this video, the illness is hugely psychological. What they see is not what healthy people see. And accordingly, requires everything we’ve got in professional help. Again as you can see, even that isn’t enough.
We got him into treatment before he turned 18. That was key. At least we could control him a bit at the time. And btw, not easy to find treatment for males. But it still lasted through college and got pretty bad.
Slowly, after 10 years, he’s much better. Looks normal and is highly functional.(you’d never know there was an issue). But still has remnants of eating disorders.
It’s a baffling disease.
All in all, we came out OK. It can be done.
I hope he's doing great
Good work, do you know of any out patient treatment centers for males?
Thanks for sharing your story. It gives hope to all that are still struggling.
❤️❤️❤️❤️ thank you for not giving up on him.
I was anorexic in high school. I was under so much pressure from everyone and everyone was telling me what to do so I told myself the one thing I can control is what I eat. The less I ate the more I felt that I was regaining some control. I'm sorry to hear about your son.
I’m 29 and considered a millennial and I’ve also grown up with the internet. It’s very dangerous for children 💔
Very!
You're a groomer?
I'm 41 and I'm considered a millennial as well...the oldest generation of millennials lol
I agree, and I don't think it's all that healthy for adults either. I myself indulge more than I should, but I'm also the guy that would be sitting in a waiting room, watching everyone else with their face in their phone.
@@ankur2766 that's not what groomer means, fool. Ppl who oppose the parental rights bill, those are groomers.
As someone who always has struggled with weight & body image, i can relate. The struggle is real. My heart hurts for her & her sexual trauma is deep. She seems like a nice & lovely person. I wish her the best.
I really enjoyed this interview. I hope she gets well, she seems like a lovely human. ❤️ Don't let people get you down, it's hard to always have the correct words. I truly don't think you meant any harm but I can see how it could be hurtful. Everyone makes mistakes friend. Keep doing what you do and giving these people a platform to tell their story.
I am 37-- we had AOL chatrooms and AIM when I was in middle school. I cannot even begin to tell you how damaging it was to hop on the chats when I was 12 years old finding so many random other '12 year old boys' (actually probably 45 year old men) to talk to all day and night--- and I would. Some nights I would not even go to sleep chatting to people all night long before school the next day. This went on for YEARS and formed my perceptions of how men should talk to women when they like them. I have had a difficult time deciding the difference between good and bad men throughout my adult life as a result of it.
Thank you for such an accurate insight on the effects of toxic media on a young girl! I saw my children and the effects on them...they thought I was an ogre for being strict about it, but I kept them safe. Their naivete was scary...
There was *HELLA* pedo's on yahoo chat. I'm 38 and remember chatting between ages 16-19. It started with cbs reality tv chats.
It was rooms labeled for youmger for older and all kinds of dirty things.
Stop playing. I had AIM etc. And that doesn't mean I'm stuck in a 12 year olds mind.
@Lord Brain go get therapy. To leave this 💩💩💩 as a direct response to the O.P. ❓ come on!! C O N T E X T is important. Go get help. Seriously
@@puckloki873 who cares if you had a.i.m. your experience was different. Doesn't mean anybody else is "playing"
What's with ALL the ignorance - people with zero insight??????
I'm 31, I relate to so much of this. Talking to random men on the internet for attention and being groomed into things I shouldn't have done. Sending love to you Sophia. Its a hard road so many of us have walked with you.
Same 😭😭😭 I didn't realize the damage until I watched this video...
Totally relate
How sad...
@@michaeldes1800 exposing myself on Webcam, sending pictures, sexting, etc.
@blowsss me are you joking?? You mean I wasn't a victim of these men because my parents didn't know the dangers of the internet yet??? I grew up during the time where the internet was growing into what it is now. My mom had no idea I had access to these chat forums. No one knew what was possible yet.
I agree that my parents should have checked into it more and kept a better eye on me, but at the same time, the internet was new. I knew about things before my mom did. She had no idea that I was talking to so many people because she didn't know forums like that existed.
Honestly your response makes me very fucking suspicious of your internet history. How many young girls did you prey upon before parents knew better? You seem like an absolute creep. I hope you never have daughters because I worry for their safety.
When she said to the guy who wanted to sleep in the bed with her “are we going too hook up?”, I wanted to cry. She said it as if she had no choice in the matter. I hope you are doing ok ❤
People who are bashing Mark on his ending comment, grow some skin and not be nothing but nerves...
42:50 the worst possible thing you could’ve said is “I’ve seen much skinner girls than you” honestly never comment on an anorexics weight. She may take this as a challenge.
@ Rebecca
Shit! I heard that.....
I was pretty shocked that he said that, too! That could definitely challenge her to lose even more!
@@tammyyarbrough646 probably will, I could tell it completely stunned her soon as he said it. I don’t think people know how much a comment can effect you being anorexic
I gasped as well. This is not appropriate to say. Not all anorexic people are extremely skinny
@@emilyv2728 no I know, I’m guessing he wasn’t warned before hand
Mark is putting out some of the best content on TH-cam. The realest content by far. Keep doing what your doing sir. As a heroin addict your videos help me when I’m in my feelings and your videos help me see that there is hope for the lost and forgotten.
wat about the slabbers down in slab city my frined 'there pretty cool too/hasha 'peace.
I feel you.
True
Its exploitation
Please take care of yourself!
Mark, we need a Sophie update, please!
Love you guys🖤
Thank you
Her saying that her trauma wasn’t bad enough and wondering why she’s so “fucked up” is something I’ve repeated to myself and others so many times. That feeling that something is deeply wrong with you because you didn’t have the worst childhood or had the most horrific experiences possible to explain your current mental state. It’s such a painful, vicious cycle. As someone who’s had an eating disorder for over 5 years, and is in recovery from (severe, as I’ve been told) self harm, the shame of not having a clear explanation for my mental illness has made me hate myself so much more.
Mark is smart enough to know not to comment "I've seen much skinnier girls". Assuming positive intent that you didn't intentionally say this but it sounded that way. And then when Sophie got uncomfortable and began to let you know you crossed a boundary, it got awkward and you wrapped up the interview. Maybe it would have been good for you to take the "effective criticism" in the moment and let Sophie process her feelings. Please ask her to do a follow-up interview soon so we can know how she is doing and you can apologize. In the future, please do some research on triggering questions that relate to your guest's lifestyle/illness, it may take only 10 mins of your time but save them unneeded further distress.
agree-a little research beforehand
he shouldnt have said that but yeah the interview was already being wrapped up before that. you can hear him say before that comment even happened "well thanks for doing the interview" but it ends up continuing for a few more minutes while that conversation goes on
Yes, that is very important.
damn.. give him a break.. He meant no harm
this!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I’ve noticed quite a few comments on this video saying that you never can truly recover from an eating disorder. I want to refute that from personal experience. I suffered from an eating disorder (anorexia, binge-eating, & bulimia) for 9 years. In the midst of my disorder I truly believed it would be something I would suffer from for the rest of my life. In my senior year of college I met a very good friend who helped me open up emotionally and recognize that my ED was not going to go away on its own; I would have to put in the effort every day to heal myself. So I did. Over the course of a few months I read a book called Intuitive Eating, I started strength training with Caroline Girvan, fostered a growth mindset, completely removed social media from my life, and I started treating my emotional issues with meditation practices and breathwork. It was one of the most difficult yet liberating things I have ever done. Now I am fully recovered and I am never looking back.
I never ever comment on TH-cam (this is my first comment), but I think it’s important for those struggling with an ED to know that recovery absolutely is possible. Make efforts to change your mindset towards food and your body. Be receptive to a different way of thinking. Consume content that promotes a healthy way of thinking about food and your body. Change will not begin unless you start showing up for yourself. You are not a special case. You can recover. It’s easy to use your ED as a crutch to avoid addressing your underlying issues. But believe me, on the other side the grass truly is greener. No more brain fog, no more emotional black hole, no more obsessive thoughts about food. You will be so much happier than you are now if you simply start.
If you don’t know how to start, get help. Reach out to those you trust and open up or get a therapist that specializes in EDs. You have the capacity to change yourself once you start believing you can. Much love ❤️
I love your comment.
Thank you for posting it.
Thank you, I think these kinds of comments are very necessary cause when everybody says "oh you can never heal from an ED" it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy, and I do believe you can heal from a variety of mental disorders (though not from all of them).
I agree and have experienced the same. My eating disorder is in my past and doesn’t bother me and I never have disordered thoughts anymore even though I was severely anorexic for more than 5 years. When you heal your body your mind will get the chance to heal🙏
I have been struggling with bulimia for 8 years. There is nothing you can say to someone that will make things better or worse, it all depends on the voices inside. It is also true it never goes away. But you can learn to manage. For me it started to fade away when I found things that interested me more than weightloss. Not even a relationship, I mean travel, hobbies, sports, stuff like that, I just kinda got bored with all this. It definitely comes back from time to time but it does not control every thought and every day anymore. I think just getting older helps sometimes, you learn to prioritize
Totally agree-when I was in my early 20’s I went from overweight (5’10” 250 pounds in high school) to a healthy weight of 160. But looking back, I had the anorexic mindset and the same tendencies that this young woman has minus the drugs which thank God nobody ever offered to me because I can’t say I would have refused. I just couldn’t maintain that weight because I was eating maybe 1000 calories a day and exercising obsessively. I’m back up to 235 now and am trying to lose weight again but without using self hate as my main motivation. And it’s hard, and the thoughts do come back, all the time. I still check myself every time I walk past a window or mirror to see how much my stomach is sticking out. But I’m in my late 30’s now and I have gained a lot of perspective and feel mentally so much stronger now. It may never go away, but it does get a little bit easier not to let the thoughts control your life. Hope you continue to get well and enjoy your life 😊
What a sweetie. I admire her bravery, it’s never easy to be vulnerable. I pray she finds peace and purpose. She would be an awesome vet or anything to do with working with animals. ♥️♥️♥️
5 years ago I was 106 lbs. I had a terrible relationship with food. I looked back at my passport picture and I wanted to hug myself. Yesterday I joined the YMCA and I got weighed for the first time in years. I weigh 159 lbs. I don't care. I'm happier at 159lbs.
Congratulations on taking your life back. 👏 🖤
Great! You are very healthy now
Keep up the good work.
Nothing wrong with being 106 lbs actually, but I don't know your height. I don't think being nearly 160 lbs as a woman is healthy tbh unless you're super tall. I'm in the Healthcare field so I'm not talking about what looks nice, I'm talking about what's going on inside your body. All Americans are overweight nowadays and think women are supposed to be "thick" but it's very bad on your heart and your joints in the long run. Stay healthy!
Amen..its just a number
Did I really hear Mark say to her "I've seen skinnier than you" ?? 😱 The woman is emaciated. I was shocked seeing her limbs in the full length photo. She's going to take what Mark said and think she isn't thin enough and starve herself even further. Sometimes he really doesn't think before he speaks 😒
ugh....
@@juniperjane8719 yes, exactly! It can trigger people watching this 😐
Yup. Emaciated. Maybe he's seen thinner in their coffin.
@@v3nus1nfurs the entire freaking channel is triggering.
So he said it in response to her referring to other people's picture in their head of a more emaciated looking person, in other words he was quoting what others meaning well might have said to her he did not say this to her and she even addressed this yall taking things outta context
Thank you. I was diagnosed when my daughter graduated high school. Should've been the happiest times. You are beautiful, no matter what. You are worthy of recovery 💗💫🪶
I was anorexic for a long time; I don’t think the addiction to it ever goes away. Now I obsess over my diet and exercise; but it’s about being as healthy as possible. It’s still crazy but this is much healthier for me. I hope she can find a way to cope with this obsession and be better to her body.
I've had ED issues various times and yo yo dieting, I'm naturally (not overeating or concerned with diet & exercise) a little plump. I've maintained small "normal" for the longest in my life now 4½ years and it's similar. Not about my health or getting thinner, just staying in a particular range, but I get damn obsessive. Just without the really crazy behaviors & highly suspect that's about the best I'll get - not actively being self destructive with it.
I love this channel. I truly do. My only caution is to be thoughtful about editorializing the narrative. One of your amazing gifts, Mark, is in creating a safe space for people to share their stories. I’ve noticed, on occasion, that the disconnect is when your own opinion enters the narrative. Do what you do best, creating this platform for these incredible narratives to unfold and in creating space for us, the viewers, to arrive at our perceptions of these raw and powerful self reflections. Thank you, Mark. Your work is transformative.✌️❤️🌻
This is a perfect example of how to effectively give criticism. Thank you Wendy
@@SoftWhiteUnderbelly - I am a professor of social work and use your videos each semester. Your work is infinitely more impactful than any textbook or lecture. I have also watched some of the videos where you have been interviewed. Your insight about the fundamental value of love has transformed the way I teach.
@@vapues873 we need more professors like you 👏
@@anamariagodo5475 - you are too kind. Honestly, the world needs more people like Mark.
@@SoftWhiteUnderbelly I think Chris allen also gave effective criticism but you got defensive unfortunately
despite her story, a lot of her language shows that she's done a lot of work on herself and has a lot of emotional intelligence to be able to reflect on how she got to where she is. that stuff is really hard and I'm so proud that she's been able to do so
Learning the psych material unfortunately doesn’t equate to wanting to change
I relate to this woman so so so much...me being a 17 year old girl and the insecurities and need for male validation, the online grooming, predators, the older men and sexual assault.
Listening to you story has really opened my eyes to how social media can influence my daughter (age 11) and son (age 16). So thank you for telling you story, I now have much better understanding on how much these medias influence our young population.
I really wish the best for you and I hope that you realize that you can choose to make this you mission in life - to help children avoid the things you have faced - that could be your talent
I want you to live and recover fully and I wish you the best of lucky.
I hope to hear more about your progress
Trust me, as someone who suffered from eating disorders for many many years, you can recover! Your value is worth so much more than numbers on a scale. ❤
How did you recover longterm? Food isn’t like alcohol it’s everywhere and we all need to eat some of it to avoid fainting etc.
I couldn’t bear to gain weight and go up a clothing size, apart from when I was pregnant
As a survivor myself .. you can totally recover body wise but mentally I truly believe it’s a life long battle disease . At least that’s been in my journey
@@cmay5145 unfortunately anorexia is similar to substance abuse disorder or alcoholism. I’ve been anorexic since I was a tween. While, yes we recover it’s always always always going to be on your mind. Eating meals can make you very anxious even long after you’ve recovered. Hopefully I was able to help you out on the topic. If I didn’t just let me know and I could possibly explain it better.
@@cmay5145 Ive experienced years of having a terrible relationship with food as it’s such an everyday part of your life it’s so hard to deal with. I will say there’s so much hope to have. With growing in life as a person and becoming more self loving and gentle with myself and tackling my shame I was able to get better. It’s such a baby steps process. And it’s alllll about changing your mind which is a hard thing to do but our minds are indeed able to be re-wired. It’s so possible. A huge part of changing my mind was being mindful about how I’m feeling and learning how to listen to my body. It’s amazing how much our body’s tell us if we listen and I will tell you it’s such a beautiful incredible feeling to learn how to listen to ones body. ❤God loves you and sees your in all of your struggles, he wants the best for you if you trust him and let him in. You always have a friend in Jesus if you feel like you’re along in this struggle. You can do it.
ED are not real
Thank you for giving this woman a platform. Eating disorders are so prominent. I recovered from anorexia in 2017 and never looked back. It's extremely debilitating and very difficult to overcome. You got this Sophie, I'm rooting for you! ❤️
It broke my heart when she kept saying she's not good at anything. Poor baby. Girl, I'm sure you're good at many things, for example your compassion and dedication to animals is outstanding. I do hope one day you figure out all the reasons why you're an amazing human being. Good luck
I worry about the future of this young woman, especially after hearing her say,”I'd rather die skinny than gain weight.”😢 She has a lot of courage to tell her story to the world.
I wouldn’t normally comment but i’ve never related to an interview more, everything Sophie said resonated with me. I had the same type of relationship with men from a very young age using sex as self harm as well as struggling with an ED/Body Dysmorphia. It is the most exhausting way to go through life because your mind is consumed at all times. and drugs seem like the only way to free your mind. I have a very hard time imagining a life for myself free from my constant obsession and desire to be skinny. Minimize and shrink myself as much as possible. It may be a life long struggle but I really hope one day you are able to see the beautiful and complete person that you already are.
I never knew I was a celiac and why I was sick all the time growing up.
I was 6’2 130lbs and always sick. Got bullied (punch,kick,choked,food poured on me) constantly in school. Turned to drugs to help deal with it just so I could feel normal.
One day I went to see a specialist and they knew right away I was a celiac. Had my blood tested that day and late it was confirmed.
Once I changed my eating habits I gained weight and stopped using drugs. It was a crazy time in my life now that I think about it. My parents divorce and my gf killing herself cuz her dad was graping her.
All I can say is best of luck, life’s one hell of a crazy ride
How you doin'?
@@bettywhite2694 your ALIVE
Have you tried blue chew for your ED?
❤️
I know her struggle, the shakiness in her voice… I want to wrap my arms around her and give her the warmest hug and tell her she is enough.
I’m 3 years recovered ❤️
Sending love 💙💙
i relate so much to her. when she said any comment about someones body could be a trigger is so true. when i am skinny i am at my most unhealthy but its when i get the most praise from friends and family, what they dont understand is i am literally killing myself to be skinny. body dysmorphia comes in all shapes and and sizes and it is all consuming. people that dont struggle will never get it
This man is not an expert on mental issues as you can see, but with this channel alone he’s doing so much more than the whole comment section combined, just forgive him it was not intentional
I wish I could give this a ton of thumbs up. He gave her a chance to open up and share her story which hopefully makes her stronger and us more sensitive to others. We should be understanding enough to realize he made a mistake without any ill intention towards her.
he doesn't need to be an expert. If he did any research at all, any research at all, he would have known how not to ask some very basic dangerous questions that are dangerous both for the person he talked to and for people watching with eating disorders.
he probably should avoid interviewing people with eating disorders period, comment section is full of morally outraged teenagers
@@therabbithat Seriously like it's not hard to figure out how to be decent to people and not say dumb insensitive shit!!
@@corinneskitchen hi!! which part in the video is everyone speaking about? /gen
I feel this. It’s a great reminder on how toxic social media is for everyone, but especially young girls. Wishing Sophia positivity and hoping she can find her path to recovery soon.
U kno u could just turn it off right
U kno u could just turn it off right
@@wyntahb3968 Addiction is addiction.
Before social media, it was ym and seventeen magazine and sports illistration. Are you really going to blame media for everything. I wanted to be skinny as a teen too.. but not to the point of killing myself. These indivuals are mentally sick.
@@brombromsmuva9215 in no way did I say that social media is the only culprit for ED’s, but are you really going to act like social media hasn’t greatly exacerbated these issues in our society?
Even her voice sounds exhausted
Sophie, if you read these comments, I hope you see mine.
I started university in 2002 so I’m of a different generation than you, but my dad is a high-up OG programmer in Silicon Valley so I was on the internet before all my peers even knew what it was.
Watching your video was a little eerie because I felt like I was watching a video of myself being interviewed at 19 years old.
Our pasts are very similar: feelings of inadequacy despite “good” family: submissive acceptance of unwanted male attention, presumed sexual abuse when we were younger, drug abuse including overdoses, starvation, adhd meds & disassociatives. Anything to stay thin because it was “THE ANSWER!”
but…
I’m writing to you today to tell you I sincerely hope your future turns out better than mine, and I’m very lucky to not be dead.
My health history made a healthy childbirth of my daughter impossible for me personally. She was a preemie and I survived a massive brain hemorrhage and many complications shortly after she was born because of my history of abusing myself. If you use and especially if you abuse psychoactive drugs, you potentially have (many) aneurysms in your brain. And your brain needs glucose to survive, so it atrophies when you don’t provide it.
I suggest asking yourself if you would rather be healthy or paralyzed instead of healthy or dead.
Luckily my daughter is healthy but I’m still broken mentally and physically. Help yourself! Help others! Please.
Edited to add: eating disorders are socially transmitted diseases. Please don’t help perpetuate this! Help stop the transmission. Please😢♥️
I am so sorry you are struggling w/ this. Like Mark said, this is "a stubborn problem for a lot of people." Just know that this internet stranger is sending you love & healthy wishes for 2023 & beyond. You are capable of recovery & it's what you & your daughter deserve
@@sophiamcadams586 I appreciate your kind words so much Sophia♥️ I worry every day that I’m going to pass my dark past down to my beautiful daughter. People like you remind me I don’t have to and we don’t have to live that way. You really made my day. Thank you🥲💖
lol funny, my dad was a programmer too. i had an apple2gs in the house in 1991
i almost died at birth too but it wasnt my mom's fault. you should not have children if youre not mentally stable!!! PROTECT CHILDREN!
@@elizabethbennet4791 my husband and I were together 5 years before getting pregnant, both told we were infertile because of our medical conditions. My husband has type 1 diabetes and the #1 cause of male infertility for this disease: retrograde ejaculation. I’ll let you get the deets yourself rather than give tmi. I had very sporadic cycles and was very underweight and in my mid 30s “geriatric” for child-bearing.
Anyway… We were told and thus believed it would never happen. And I was okay with that, think my husband was too.
So some would consider her a miracle, our family does. My parents do very well financially and help us out so much and adore our daughter so we’re very very lucky. I don’t forget that for a second. But… although it’s her choice, because of our genes, I subtly encourage her to strongly consider not having children.
I had a totally healthy pregnancy (except for the stress of working in accounting). I didn’t starve myself, I exercised every day, I read all the best books on pregnancy and opted for natural childbirth. But you can’t outrun the damage you did in your past.
Sooo… would it have been better for me to have aborted so she wouldn’t have been subjected to our past shit? I was adopted so though I’m pro-choice I just couldn’t abort her and my husband is Christian. Plus my adopted mom who couldn’t have kids was Catholic and would have been devastated.
My daughter will want for nothing ever.
I was simply letting Sophie know what happened to me in the hopes it might offer insight she hadn’t heard before.
My cousin passed from this terrible illness. She said 'I just want to live until my 30th birthday' and she died shortly after. I will be sending my vibes for you to recover, it is attainable. Dont be eugenia.
"I suffererd no childhood sexual abuse"
Goes on to describe a great deal of childhood sexual abuse
Denial and repression.
Sounds like she thinks her underaged consent negates the abuse (which it doesn't).
This is devastating…I can’t imagine how much it breaks the hearts of those who love you. Sophie you are more than this. You are so much more than this! You are loved, wanted and desired by the One who knows you better than anyone. Without conditional restraints. You are loved without condition. The efforts you put into losing weight can be diverted to something life giving, life affirming. Your heart and body need healing. Your mind needs renewal. It is possible, in Christ. Keep up the great work in therapy. Sending a hug your way.
I'm in agreement 🤝
This is heartbreaking. She said the internet was her trauma, which I agree with, but there was so much more that she doesn’t realize. There has to be a reason why she sought validation from males, her dad especially. I can relate to her because I had anorexia and still continually seek validation from males, specifically men in positions of authority. Right now it’s specifically my therapist, and it is extremely painful to be so attached to someone who you can never actually see outside of one hour a week. I’m sure she had something happen to her early in her childhood that she can’t remember.
Yes the internet has been massively problematic for our children. It REALLY sucks. So sad. Too much information, too soon for these children. My heart goes out to them all.
I’m only 6 minutes in and all I can say is (non-judgementally), there’s a lot to unpack about Sophie already.
@@cassidy1718 the obvious multitude of mental struggles - internet / social media consumption that made her spiral into anorexia, the low self worth regarding her intelligence, hobbies or interests unrelated to physical appearance and looks, the early onset of sexualized behavior (being groomed by older men only at 12, boyfriend at 14, sexual abuse from other boyfriends)… she then mentions all the drugs use, impulsivity and body dysmorphia related to BPD, which does make sense. I also sensed her heightened anxiety in her voice all throughout the interview. I wish her well and hope she will want to heal soon. She is still so young, it is not too late.
She also said she doesn’t remember much of her childhood, which doesn’t sound like a necessarily bad thing, but probably not a great thing, either.
@@cassidy1718 it means she has a lot going on from her past. She says she wasn't the victim of abuse then reports having been groomed and assaulted.
I agree after watching all of it. And so much more that needs to be unpacked that wasn’t even talked about. She needs intensive inpatient care. She’s an adult; but someone can still get her held because she is a danger to herself for sure.
@@2passportsandpostcards I dont remember 90% of my childhood and I am absolutely sure that is absolutely normal, cause a lot of trivial stuff happens in childhood that doesnt leave a mark at all. "Today I made a big duty, first time in the adult toilet". 1/1/1994. Yeah, no. The brain of a child, that has a very limited impression of reality, is so busy developping at all there is just not a lot of room to memorize random stuff happening.
Sophie, I know you may read some of the comments here. First, thank you so much for sharing your story. You are very good on being articulate. And you are right word are powerful and even when someone says something intended to be nice, it's like saying, you look great BUT....And what you even said to Mark about him saying, I've seen skinner girls than you. I actually reacted to that when he said it too. He was comparing, you vs even skinnier girls to you.
I hope you find your strength on the inside and out and I am glad you have a wonderful support system at home.
I once volunteered at a center for people with mental illness. It was a place where some people stayed as well. I volunteered to followup and call people who had just recently left the center to see how they are doing. The people were asked if they were ok to have volunteers call them and so many said yes. I talked to some many different amazing people, men, women, teens etc. Anyways, when we wre given a bit of training, one of the teacher said, try and not use the word BUTin your sentences because BUT is almost meant to a negatve. And I have tried to do keep it up, it is not always easy. What do you replace it with, you can use however or and.
Wow. This girl speaks to me. I’ve struggled with and eating disorder for 16 years. Now to a point where I’m not active in it everyday- maybe two days a week, but mentally every day. “My own validation.” that’s 100% true. People always think girls with eating disorders are worried about what the world thinks- not true. We are concerned with competition and beating the number on the scale. So powerful.
This is exactly why you do not allow your children on the internet unsupervised! Such a sad story!
I struggled with anorexia for a solid 5 years .. I relate to this girl so much.. I barely have the words. I’ve been recovered for 4 years it is possible thank you for sharing this story
would you say she is ruining her looks with the ed?
PLEASE DO MORE EATING DISORDERED VIDEOS! It goes hand in hand with drug, alcohol, sex and self harm abuse like cutting, etc. Bring more of this to your platform, ppl need to see this!
Let's cut Mark some slack. Sophie was very brave to be interviewed; she undoubtedly knew what was involved, but wanted to spread awareness regardless; she also nailed the issues around control and trauma, recognising her conditions and the effect they have. Very self-aware. I see and hear you Sophie. Very few people would truly understand this devastating and life-threatening condition unless they've been through it; Mark is doing his best, we would all struggle to say the right thing 100% of the time, and perhaps we learn more because Mark isn't afraid to make mistakes and move on. Give Sophie the credit she deserves; she understood this and calmly explained why certain comments aren't helpful. Thank you Sophie. Thank you, Mark, for your perseverance in the face of so much criticism; you make human mistakes for us to learn from, and I appreciate it. This a is great and informative interview for anyone willing to switch off their judgements and actively listen x
Mark: “I’ve seen much skinnier girls than you.” 😳
That comment will play over and over in her mind and make her want to get skinnier. I understand the mentality. She will use that comment as motivation to get tinier.
I struggle with body dysmorphia. I see myself as extra large even though I wear a size medium. It’s a mental struggle. My dad made me promise “not to get fat” when I was a kid so I’m always self conscious.
I’ve started doing Hot Pilates again which makes me feel really good in my body. Taking it one day at a time.
I cringed when he said that too😖 I know he didn't mean it in that negative "competitive" way but her mind will replay it over and over in the worst way. When I was 18 I was in a relationship with a older man and it really messed with my mind, it was abusive and toxic. I ended up pregnant at 19 and started really taking care of myself "both mentally and physically "for my unborn baby, my son saved my life❤❤ I pray you continue to heal and succeed🙏❤🤗
Good for your dad, he is looking out for your health.
@@Smashley8708 thank you, I wish you the same 🙏❤️
that is such a simplified idea of how the psychology of anorexia works. It's completely deterministic. She is anorexic and noone made her that way or said something that made her go that route if she wasnt determined to be it in the first place. She certainly doesnt need anyone to tell her she is fat, or thin or tall, or small, to think what she wants to think.
@@maxmeier532 Just because no one said one single comment in and of itself that "made" her go in this direction, doesn't necessarily mean comments/ opinions won't be hurtful.
This is interesting. It would also be interesting to see an interview with a person suffering from Binge Eating Disorder, which is apparently much more common. Unlike anorexia, eating disorders leading to obesity have been politicized to an absurd degree, and it would be great to hear somebody discuss their real life experiences without a lot of boilerplate about "diet culture" and "marginalized bodies" obscuring the real story.
TH-camr kashi star talks about her binge eating disorder. She started as a mukbanger but recently opened up about her struggle. It’s fascinating
Gosh girl
I feel for you, you are not alone. So self aware, please accept yourself and be healthy. You are a bright light and i (&others) think the world needs you here.
I went out for a few weeks with an anorexic girl (I didn't know at the beginning). She told me the reason number one to lose weight is the feeling of control over something in her life. Losing weight depended 100% on her and she relished that feeling of having something under control. Every other aspect of her life could be suffering or be in complete chaos but she coped by going to her happy place, which was losing even more weight.
We would go out for dinner and she'd go to the restroom at the end for a couple of minutes (to vomit, I didn't realize at the time).
She reminds me of her: tiny, pretty, fragile, always dressed in black...
Yep, lots of pathological behaviors might be to grasp for some kind of control. My ex wife told me that about her bulimia, when we were early 20s. She died at 56, couple of years ago. Booze, drugs, bulimia all of her adult life.
there are no words to describe how much i love this, as someone struggling with an ed myself, i'm sending her all the love
Love to you too! ❤💕🌹
You are a beautiful soul ! Sending you all the love
i hope u get healthy i love u
I wish for you all you wish for her!
Love,
Nashville Tennessee USA 🇺🇸 ♥
same ♡
It's crazy to hear her talk about how she wasn't abused when she also said she was SA'd multiple times by different people. Seems to me that having anorexia is the only control over her life since other people always took advantage. She said it herself too but she doesn't want to get better and it's sad. I hope she can recover
I think she meant by her parents or family
I used to be chronically anorexic and I didn’t want to get better either it is the only thing we have to hold onto that we feel gives us worth
She might've meant her family was good
only made it like 12 mins in before I had to stop and write because I told myself next time my memories came back around and I had a chance to put them on paper I would. so powerfully triggering. I needed it though because they do come around, and I can't be always just reacting to my trauma - I'm in a period of my life where I'm ready to process some of this old shit just going around and around on some fucked up memory carousel at the back of my mind.
grateful for these videos. remind me I'm not alone.
Mark, you choose the most beautiful people to interview. I am so moved by all of your work and these lovely, brave, gentle, human spirits. Thank you so much...🙏🙏🙏
She nailed it at the end. It’s not only about control, wanting to shrink until you disappear, and a lack of valuing yourself beyond your body. It’s a cry for help. It’s unresolved, repressed childhood trauma. Stuff you couldn’t talk about. You can’t say I’m dying inside, so you show it on the outside. This was very relatable. At 21, I thought my family was okay. At 39, five years into my own anorexia recovery, I’m completely estranged. I remembered the truth...at least enough to know I would never recover as long as I was in contact with them. In treatment, I saw so so many women who were like me but still in denial. I mentor people with ED now. The truth is, as long as denial reigns, recovery is extremely elusive. Anorexia is a beast. EDs are the deadliest of mental health disorders. This is so serious and so tragically common, but please believe me- Recovery IS possible. It’s the hardest most worthy work of my life. I do it for myself and my children. I do it for anyone and everyone watching me. That’s how you overcome, by reframing all of the beliefs and thoughts into something empowering. Competition turns to compassion and collaboration. We CAN do this.
It is so hard for no reason im over it mentally mostly everytime i gain the weight i always loose it again
@@Ilovemybf4345 Not for no reason. It is hard, but we can do hard things. I understand the mental exhaustion. Reframing thoughts can feel like near constant work. Feel free to keep replying. You aren’t alone. How long have you been in recovery? Do you have support?