4 Tips to Stop Trauma Dumping in Its Tracks! w/ Dr. Kate Truitt
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 1 ต.ค. 2024
- In this psychoeducational video, Dr. Kate Truitt explains that being in the presence of someone who’s trauma dumping can be complicated and painful. It pulls on our empathy and compassion strings, and it’s important to remember that our nervous system is critical. We are going to learn 4 tips for when this happens.
The first two tips are external tips for setting boundaries. If we notice that our mind and body system is being disrupted by this data, we need to take care of ourselves. The first tip is to say, “this sounds like it’s tough, but I need to XYZ.” This allows us to create space to step away and use CPR for the Amygdala. The second tip is to say, “this sounds like it’s tough, I hope you have or are looking for someone to work with to help you.” By doing this, we are providing an awareness that this is hard stuff. It’s important to remember that it is not our job to do this.
The second two tips are internal tips. The first being to turn energy towards you and expand that energy into a safe, loving bubble. I am worthy of taking care of my mind and body right now. We are worthy of giving ourselves that same attention. The second tip is to imagine you have an inner ally sitting next to you. I am deserving and worth taking care of.
Dr. Kate reminds us that, yes, it’s hard to disrupt a trauma dump. Trauma dumping can be traumatizing for both people. Therefore it’s an act of loving kindness to set boundaries and take care of you.
#traumadumping #therapythursday #healinginyourhands
Want to learn more and dive deep into your personal healing journey? Dr. Kate's book Healing in Your Hands: Self-Havening Exercises to Harness Neuroplasticity, Heal Traumatic Stress, and Build Resilience" is now available! Order your copy today! amzn.to/3TrAfaZ
For more information and blogs visit DrTruitt.com, find inspiration on Instagram @Dr.KateTruitt, ask Dr. Kate your questions and get video replies at her TikTok channel @Dr.KateTruitt, join Dr. Kate live on Clubhouse @DrKateTruitt, and subscribe to us here for weekly videos!
Want to learn more? Dr. Kate hosts live virtual workshops teaching self-healing in your hands tools and techniques. Join her and the Viva Excellence team to build your at home brain care program! Register here: www.vivaexcell....
Dr. Kate Truitt is a clinical psychologist, neuroscientist, as well as holds a MBA in Healthcare Administration. She is the CEO of the Trauma Counseling Center of Los Angeles, Chairman of the Board of the Amy Research Foundation, and leads her flagship organization Dr. Kate Truitt & Associates located in Pasadena, CA. Her teams of expert psychologists and psychotherapists provide individual therapy, group therapy, executive coaching, and neurofeedback throughout California via telehealth.
Contact us today to learn more or to begin your healing journey with one of our expert team members: 626-524-5525 or www.drtruitt.com
© 2023 by Dr. Kate Truitt All rights reserved. No part of this video may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, without the written permission of the copyright holder.
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I’ve been always complaining and venting too much and draining all my pressure on my friends and I never knew that I was doing it and I just realised when they brought it up and I never knew that I could hurt someone without even thinking about it and it’s hurt me even more that I’ve hurt them and now I always stop myself from this
Thank you for sharing your story 🥰 Self-reflection is a powerful step towards growth and healing. It takes a lot of courage to reflect on our actions and the impact they have on others. Remember that we're all on a journey of learning and growing and to hold space for yourself as well. Sending you warmth, strength and healing ❤️❤️🩹❤️
Get new friends. Real friends should be able to handle you talking about your problems
I needed this message years ago. I was trauma dumped over and over and got emotional drained for two years. Finally insisted they move out and I am trying to heal from it. A year later it’s still affecting me. Tough when it’s a family member and I struggle how to ever be around them again 😢
I'm truly sorry to hear about your experience, especially when it involves someone so close to you. 😔 Navigating such complex emotions, especially with family, can be incredibly challenging. Sending much warmth, strength, and healing your way during this journey ❤️❤️🩹❤️
I am going through this now. I am not surprised to hear that a year later you are still trying to heal from it. If I can ever get it to stop, I wonder if I will ever heal. It took about 1.5 years, but I finally realized how sick it was making me about 6 months ago.
So if someone close to you confides in you something traumatic that happened to them you have to leave them and never see them again? Is that the right thing to do now? seems harsh. yeah?
YES. Love this! Does not demonize the trauma dumper. or the uncomfortable object of the dump. I wish I had seen it before. New friend told me specifics of her child sexual abuse- no warning and at length. Later I was so triggered/drained I asked to take a break. She has told others I do not support survivors. So my listening helped no one. and now I'm worried. I wish I could wear a T shirt saying "check in before sharing". I have CPTSD myself and am working to regulate, heal and thrive. Thanks again for this.
I'm truly sorry to hear you've experienced this. Please remember that your feelings are valid and it's important to protect your wellbeing as well. Thank you for highlighting this as well. Sending you much warmth, strength and healing ❤️❤️🩹❤️
@@DrKateTruitt you too. I appreciatate this
What a wonderful way to identify why they trauma dump. Thank you for reminding us that we are worthy and to set boundaries. This is so helpful.
You are so welcome 💗 I'm glad you enjoyed it
I'm actually angry because mostly they never talk about solutions, all they do is talk and talk and talk about problems. They often never take in any advice but instead break down every potential solution presented to them. My father does this all the time and it took me a while to understand that this isn't healthy.... i thought i should listen and listen and listen and be empathic... i now reached my point and it really annoys me because he only sees me when he can talk about his issues. I walk in and he starts dumping his shit... It's a very one sided relationship and i don't like the situation. He doesn't understand it, he has no clue what so ever about how relationships work. He thinks everything is fine if everyone does as he pleases but there is little to non genuine interest in me. These people only need you when they need something from you. A listening ear or whatever...and they believe they're doing anything wrong.
I'm truly sorry to hear about what you're going through. This can indeed be draining and feel one-sided. It's important to set boundaries in any relationship, especially when interactions become overwhelming or detrimental to your mental health. Make sure to take care of your own emotional needs. You can engage in activities that replenish your energy and give you a sense of peace and satisfaction. Sometimes, sharing resources about healthy communication and relationships can help the other person understand the impact of their actions. Remember, while you can offer support, you are not responsible for managing his emotions or solving his problems. It's okay to prioritize your well-being and seek a balanced relationship where your emotional needs are also met. Sending you much warmth and healing ❤️❤️🩹
I e experienced trauma dumping a couple of times recently. One was a friend whose parents are old and ill and I’d been supporting them for a long time but needed a break from everything for one week on holiday. He blocked me after I stated I needed a rest and would message him when I returned from my holiday. He has a partner and other people to lean in for that week and I’d had other stressors in my life with my close friend going through chemo and myself living with chronic pain from arthritis that affects my sleep. He scams of being a lousy friend. Another was in a retreat very recently that was supposed to be a yoga, meditation and nature retreat that turned into a group therapy space for one person in the grips of grief. Their energy and mood was difficult to deal with and it ruined the retreat for me. I hadn’t signed up to a group therapy retreat. I don’t think people are aware they’re trauma dumping or the impact it has on others. I wish folks would seek therapy rather than expect strangers or friends who aren’t trained or qualified to fill the gap.
Thank you so much for sharing your experiences. It sounds like you've been navigating some really challenging situations, and I’m sorry to hear how much this has impacted you. Your need for rest and boundaries is so valid, especially when you’re already managing so much. You’re absolutely right-many people may not realize they’re trauma dumping or the effect it can have on those around them. It’s okay to prioritize your well-being and protect your energy, even if it’s difficult for others to understand. Sending you strength, compassion, and healing as you continue to take care of yourself 💗
It is so draining! These are useful tips❤
I'm glad you found them helpful 😊
My issue is when an abuser is trauma dumping to inflict mental and emotional injury.
I'm so sorry to hear you're experiencing this and you're definitely not alone. Sending you all the healing, strength, as well lots of caring people who don't trauma dump and honor boundaries! 💞
@@DrKateTruitt Thx😊
I've started blocking people that send me messages about being depressed. Then immediately asking to hang out. If they do it a few times I drop them. Especially when these people are already in therapy. Like what?
Thank you so much for the vulnerability and sharing your story. This is an important aspect of mental health that is not often highlighted. While it's important to be supportive, it's equally vital to ensure that you’re not taking on too much emotionally, especially if it starts to impact your own mental health. Encouraging those reaching out to you to continue with their therapy and perhaps discussing these feelings with their therapist could be beneficial for them. It's okay to offer support while also being clear about what you're comfortable with. 💗 Sending you much warmth, strength and healing ❤️🤗
Thank you so much, this was so helpful, validating, and encouraging
You're welcome! I'm glad this resonated with you 🤗 much warmth and healing your way 💗
I could have used this video some 30 years ago when I met a person who used me as a trauma dumpster. I was convinced I was at blame for not always picking up the phone! The guilt... I wish I could go back in time and tell my younger self what that all was about.
It's incredibly powerful to reflect on past experiences with the knowledge and understanding you have now. Many people find themselves in similar situations, feeling responsible for others' emotional well-being. Sometimes, verbalizing these reflections and receiving affirmation of your new understanding can be very healing. Thank you for sharing your insights and experiences. Much warmth and healing your way 💗😊
@@DrKateTruitt TY!
Thank you for this my colleague has been trauma dumping on me for a while, I will definitely use your tips. Thank you
You're so welcome and I'm glad you find this helpful. You're not alone in this and it's important to prioritize your won well-being too.😊 Sending you warmth and healing ❤️❤️🩹❤️
Thank you so much, i tried these with my girlfriend and it totally worked!!
...I guess I forgot how good being single was! :D
It's great to hear that the strategies were helpful! Navigating conversations around trauma can be delicate, especially in a relationship 💗 much warmth and healing your way
Love the self love, but sadly this way of dealing with trauma dumping prevents people with trauma to actually get through the pain and trauma. If its to much stress with it communication is key.
Thank you for sharing this perspective. You’re absolutely right-communication is crucial when navigating these sensitive situations. While setting boundaries is important, it’s equally important to approach the conversation with compassion and understanding, especially for those working through their trauma. It’s all about finding a balance that honors both our own well-being and the deep need for connection and healing in others. 💗
Thank you so much - i feel like there are finally words for what has been done to me and what I have done to others before becoming aware.
You're so welcome. 🌟 It’s incredibly powerful to find the words that resonate with your experiences and to gain that awareness. This is a huge step in your healing journey, and I’m honored to be a part of it. Keep being gentle with yourself as you navigate these realizations. Sending warmth and healing your way 💗
@DrKateTruitt I had an accident and lost my leg 5 months ago. I tell nobody what happened or why I am so sad and irritable all the time. I confide in nobody, friends or family due to fear of trauma dumping on them. It is not going well, but thanks i guess. idk. Hopefully somebody like you will heal the people i have harmed with my trauma that I don't talk about.
I am so sorry to hear you are navigating this painful journey. Sending you so much strength. Hopefully, you will also receive the healing and find support. Big hugs and care to you ❤️❤️🩹❤️
Thank you for sharing these tools and prompts to end a trauma dumping conversation.
I'm so glad you found the tools and prompts helpful! 💗 Setting boundaries in these situations can be tough, but it's truly an act of self-care and kindness for both yourself and the other person. Remember, it's okay to prioritize your well-being-you deserve to feel safe and supported, too. Keep honoring your needs, and thank you for being open to this work! Sending you warmth and strength. ✨
You ate! Thank you.
Thanks for your kind comments ❤️
you're not even human
Holy shit...😮
Thank you so much! Your steps are helpful and practical.
You're so welcome ❤️ I'm glad it was helpful 😊💖
Wow! How powerful is this message. Thank you so much.
I'm glad this message resonated with you 🥰 Thank you so much for your kind words!
I have been getting trauma dumped on every single day for over 2 years. It has made me sick and changed me as a person. I don't know how much more I can take. I recently told her that it doesn't matter if her anger isn't directed at me, it feel like I am being yelled at, and I have a really hard time brushing off the negativity. I was attacked for saying this. She went off on a manic rage all about how she's not allowed to be upset. She's not allowed to raise her tone. And so on and so forth. When it first started getting bad a couple of years ago, she would threaten to kill herself, and I would give her money, and then it would all be good until the next day when she needed more money. Well, I'm out of money now. I've loaned over $20k that I will never get back, my savings is completely wiped out, so now when she threatens to kill herself I have no way of getting her to stop her manic rapid fire trauma dumping. If I dont talk on the phone, I get texts. If I don't reply to the texts, she becomes even more angry and then will verbally attack you in the most hateful way imagineable. She will show up at your house, even when you say it's not a good time. (I work from home)Other times, after yelling at you, she will cry and say she gives up, she can't do this (life) anymore and start saying help me, help me. You can't give her any advice, though. She becomes enraged and goes off about how she knows she does everything wrong because everyone loves to tell her what a piece of shit she is every single day and she couldn't feel worse about herself. I'm really at the end of my rope. I was so stressed out and overwhelmed a few nights ago that I almost went to the ER because I thought I might be having a heart attack.
I'm truly truly sorry to hear about this difficult and overwhelming situation you're in. Please remember that you cannot pour from an empty cup, and you're not responsible for someone else's mental health or happiness. The behavior you're describing might suggest a level of crisis that requires professional intervention, both for her and for your own well-being. While you can offer support, you're not equipped to manage someone else's mental health crisis, especially one that's impacting you so negatively. Taking steps to protect yourself doesn't meant you care any less. It means you're recognizing the limits of what you can provide and taking necessary actions to ensure your well-being. While it's clear you care deeply and have gone to great lengths to help, your first responsibility is to your own health and safety. Please take care of yourself. Sending you both much needed warmth, strength and healing ❤️❤️🩹❤️
@@DrKateTruitt Thank you so much for your reply. I truly do feel desperate for help at this point. How would one go about getting a professional intervention for her? I'm not the only one in the family she does this to, I just get the worst of it because we live in the same area.
I truly appreciate you replying. I'm going to reach out to my PCP to get therapy for myself. I don't think I can force her to get therapy, but I can take care of myself.
Can you remove this person from your life?
I've had a friend like this and ultimately I disengaged I know it's hard but you can't be their responsibility especially when they threaten suicide, they need a professional
People who trauma dump should realize that others don't deserve to hear your trauma. They'd rather you spend 180.00 an hour and tell a stranger.
But you do need to share your trauma , and it is not a dump , its just that you are in the trauma when you share it. Thats why it comes out so emotionally loaded. You may even be dissociating.
You see, people only want to hear your truth if it can be communicated in a non trauma state. But then, why would you bother sharing it if you are okay ? People are full of it.
i agree
Gesult therapist is really important for trauma it allow all expression of exist ream emotion to be let out
Absolutely right! Having a supportive therapist can make a significant difference in trauma recovery, providing a safe space to express and process emotions deeply and authentically. It’s so important to find someone you can trust to guide you through your healing journey. Thank you for highlighting this crucial point.
pretty great sharing with a warm style, thank you Dr. Truitt.
Thank you for your kind words 💗 much warmth and healing your way 🤗❤️
you're amazing!@@DrKateTruitt
😘🍵🍦
thank you!
You're so welcome 😊
This doesn't really apply with discord conversations. You have to basically say "I'm not okay with talking about this" which is lame
I hear you-it can definitely feel awkward to navigate these situations, especially in online spaces like Discord where conversations can be more fluid and boundary-setting feels challenging. It's okay to feel that setting boundaries can be tough or “lame,” but remember, prioritizing your well-being is never something to feel bad about. You deserve to protect your mental and emotional space. Sometimes a gentle, honest statement like “I’m not in a good place to talk about this right now” can go a long way. It’s an act of self-care, and that’s something we all deserve. 💗