It's a blessing in disguise when the narcissist finally shuts their trap. As long as you are on to their manipulation you can turn the tables on them by not giving them what they want and being the happiest person you can be. Now that will really get their knickers in a knot!
I agree. They project their emotions. It also shows how they are unable to have an effective discussion and are not even able to make a statement to a loved one, like just saying "I feel this way when you do or say this", etc. They also think that when you make a statment, it's abusive, regardless of the fact that the statement is not abusive, like stating to them, "When you do this, it is hurtful to me". My adult son told me, after being silent for about 8 months, is that he did that to "TEACH ME A LESSON" - and the lesson was to make me feel what it would be like if he stopped contacting me forever, and how that would feel. I was shocked. Now he has done it again, and only because I called him - just calling him upset him, and I was being careful to not call him too much (I only tried to call once every 6 months after him showing me that every 3 months was too often), and I made sure to call at the right time (fearing that I might call while he was driving, at work, etc), so I called, and luckily he was at home. All I did was ask him, "Is this an okay time to call", and he went off and became very angry, and was very verbally & emotionally abusive to me. I had to set a boundary, and have not heard from him for many months. Also, on that last phone call, he told me that I was "lucky", because he was thinking about taking a shower, and if my phone call had came through and he had been in the shower, it would not have been okay. How would I have known? He not only gaslit me, but tried to turn things to the past, that once, years ago, when he called me, I was did not answer the phone. I tried to explain that if someone calls another person, and they do not answer, it's okay - it does not mean that they should be upset or mad, I told him that I don't expect him to answer his phone and won't be mad if he does not, and that he should not be upset with me, either. It was crazymaking! Now, we're in the midst of another silent treatment, which causes me to not be able to talk or visit my daughter in law or grandson, either, and I'm worried that he treats them this way. I had never seen my son act this way until the past 6 years, if he did before that, I did not realize it, but I don't think he did. I don't think there's anything I can do, because if I just try to call, he makes it out like I'm the one being abusive to him, just for making that phone call, no matter what I say. I have tried to call his wife, but she does not answer, so I think that she is trying to stay out of the middle of it, but I would love to be able to talk with her and make sure she and my grandchild are okay. Also, I have been reprimanded for trying to text him, so I stopped trying that long ago.
@@SydMountaineer Your experience sounds gut- punching and I can emphasize with it, to a degree,because it’s different when a child ostracizes a parent. Absolutely horrible. My brother cut our Mom and consequently me out of his life 30 some years ago and no one knows why- literally. My mother has done nothing but devote her life to her four kids and would die for us. My sister has cut me out of her life and won’t say why either, utter silence for >a year. Power trip I guess. My other sister is in a nursing home with early- onset dementia. When my 96 year old mother passes away, I will have no family at all. Thankfully I do have my dear husband and three children. But this severe family dysfunction hurts like h**l. So many hurting people in this world. I’ve put my sister behind me now- we’ve got to live meaningful lives for ourselves despite the pain. 🌿
I think both are as bad as each other. I hate the silent treatment but i also hate the verbal abuse none of it is good for us it all adds up to emotional abuse.
Their silence is the best thing. Let's face it....when they only open their mouths to criticise or create drama and unnecessary arguments... Who wouldn't want their silence!
You just described my sister. She gave me silent treatment while she trashed about me to my brother. He taught it wouldn't last but it did, with My No Contact behaviour. No more abuse. It's Done.
One thing a Narcissist is is predictable. Gain your strength and power by knowing this. My spouse will give silent treatment for weeks over things I didn’t do for him. Celebrate the silence do not mourn the loss of communication. Work on you. Self care. Let them have their tantrum.
This is the best explanation of the silent treatment. I endured for 54 yrs…..apologizing always, doubting myself…..a real hell. Now I’m finally free of him and guess what..I’m happier than ever.
I endured this mistreatment for 30 long wasted years. I can't believe this happens all the time to so many people. Basic psychology that emphasizes personality disorders should be taught in elementary and high schools to prepare people for real life.
Hi Stefana, It's my 50th anniversary this year, you are the first other person that I have seen who has been in one of these types of relationship for 50 or more years. I am so glad you are out of it. I'm working on it.
@Wheelsoutdoorswheelchairgirl69 Go no contact,there never going to learn. Stay away from them long enough you will heal in time.And never let them return as long as you live.
Absolutely fantastic talk. Summed it up perfectly. Silence treatment is a punishment for us, to watch us squirm, regret, introspect for days, beg for forgiveness and to warn us and bring us back in line. The more weakness we show, the stronger they become.
This is a breakdown of my last relationship with my Ex. He would use the silent treatment Everytime i would address his apparent flaws. I got tired of this toxic environment. people that exercise this type of behavior will not change their method of communication, which is using no form of communication at ALL! I had to break out that dysfunction for my own sanity and wellbeing. # Get_out!💯
I had a narcissist once try this with me, I think to make me knuckle under to his control. Boy was he shocked when I cut off all ties with him. Never looked back. For years he kept asking some of my friends about me, they wouldn't tell him a thing.
Thank you for a comprehensive content on this topic. These people are cruel & cowards to the bone. In 22 years of a miserable marriage, my wife has never even once offered to sit down and discuss our problems in a mature and adult manner. All I received constantly was silent treatment for long periods of time with no regards for the affect her behaviour has on our young son. Disgusting!
This is absolutely bang on correct and explains this abusive tactic crystal clear. Thank you for a great video. When I first encountered this treatment I was so perplexed by it, it's very confusing and extremely painful behavior to inflict on empathic people that desire peace and healthy communication. Life is way too short to tolerate this emotionally stunted BS!!!
I was ignored by my husband for over 25 years and thank God my daughter told me to get out of the marriage because i was dying waiting around for him. Past 10 years of been the most peaceful years of my life and when I lock the door at night I go to sleep knowing I will not be bothered by that idiot coming in all hours!
after two silent treatments from my last ex i protested, the third one resulted in complete disassociation and going no contact, whatever they say is usually lies or manipulative dialogue, cut em off, save your time and self worth
Thank you for sharing S. I'm thankful it can be helpful to you in this way. I'm sorry about your experience. Wish you strength and more kindness in the future!
I have just learned that his silent treatment is the childish stupidest thing I’ve ever seen but in a way I’m glad he’s done this, because now I see him even more ridiculous and I do not want him back
Totally agree, my ex husband behaves exactly like that and doesn’t ever takes responsibility, lies with a straight face to everyone. He Couldn’t care less about our children, it’s a difficult situation for the caring parent.
“Toxic hope” is what i discovered i have. I’m a “serial idealizer “ In relationships. Taking some time off from dating to regain better perspective after a relationship with someone who used silent treatments effectively and made me feel worthless and literally unheard. He was surprised by my no contact decision but after 3 silent treatments and no remorse or consideration of my needs and feelings, i trusted my gut and got away. Even a plant knows to turn toward the sun, and to turn away from toxic elements….
It's actually the opposite of what the narcissist is trying to make you feel. The narcissist that uses silent treatment is not worth having anything to do with and you should go no contact with all narcissists.
This video has been helpful. I am not going to be some sort of supply for anyone. It is imperative that I continue living my life and doing the things I enjoy. I am the most important person in my life.
The silent treatment, a game of manipulation, used as emotional abuse, ignore what you're saying because of empathy,it's all about control, it's a red flag, passive aggressive causing trouble for the victim, reasons could be recognized as a response to avoiding responsibility, the blame game used for practical means, the problem is vulnerability, triggers emotions until it's resolved, don't allow anyone to control you, it is not acceptable, you must change direction to resolve any issues, communicate your feelings in an honest way, trust intuition, make your own choices,it is what it is, set boundaries how you wanna be treated🆘✅
I love the scenery in these videos.I haven't heard from my ex in 4 months.I don't think of it as the silent treatment anymore,I think of it as,someone I used to know.
This has been THE red flag of all red flags in my sister’s case,and in hindsight, there have been many bizarre things that we all just good-naturedly accepted.My sister,with whom I thought I had such a strong bond, turned her back to me and my family more than a year ago,and has refused to even say why. It’s as though, as far as she is concerned,we have literally evaporated into thin air. I’ve now come to learn that she has convinced our very elderly mother to sign over her entire estate to her under the guise of efficiency, and my poor mother trusts that my sister will divide everything evenly amongst her children, as this is her only wish. My mother will be betrayed. The cold, calculating, vindictive person I now see as my sister, has deliberately estranged two of us as part of her agenda, the third is sadly terminally ill. So, we’re all out of the way. It’s a nightmare I could never have imagined. Before this year I knew nothing about narcissism. Thank you for your content, it really helps. 🌿
Your story is almost exact as mine ,2015 this happened to me and was hell ,I pray for you to get thru this with your used to be bonded sister and your momma 🙏🏻
My sister has a again for the 5 th time giving me the silent treatment and is all from the past when my mother was terminally ill ,so sad she can throw away a relationship (TWINS ) over something so long ago but it haunts her and she just up and ignores me out of the blue .no explanation nothing ,we’ll I have learned I can’t cry and pace waiting to hear from her ,I have a life I need to live and that is what I’m doing but it does hurt as we were very very close before my mother passed away
@@juliesilva6760 It’s awful isn’t it? I tried for a solid year to communicate with my sister…silence. I am still stunned that this has happened. Never once thought narcissism was, likely, her issue. Knew nothing about it until I started googling all of the odd things I’d noticed but dismissed about her. Narcissism kept being the end result of my searches. Super painful to know now that she *never* cared. She deserves an Oscar. At the one year mark I stopped trying to reconnect,and won’t resume. Her loss. All the best to you! 🌿
@@jennifer97363 yes exactly as my situation ,she has had every opportunity to buy her own home with her husband as I have ,she told hey mother she would keep her home and borrow on the equity to fix some things , we’ll this is the story she told me her n mom talked about ,and we’ll after mom died she was in the house the next day ,she also a week before my mother died she asked me not to sign my name on the quit claim deed as being 50/50 on the house and I told her if something happens to her that I would get moms home and not her thieving son another story to he told one day ,anyhow my name was on the legal form drew up by moms attorney so o signed it and that made my sister flip out only few weeks after my mom died she tried to intimidate me to remove my name ,so glad I didn’t
Thank you so much for this video I’ve looked and searched everywhere to find some answers to my questions and you have answer them for me one of the best videos out there yet
Wow! This video is so helpful. You tell it all as it is and it is spot on. Thank you for this, it is a great one because you explain much of it. This should help so many people struggling to figure out what the heck is going on. Love it!
@@cherryspeakman9447 I'm sorry to hear this. I don't know your situation but each time it happened I became a little bit more immune to the heartache this caused and more clued up to the patterns. The person won't get better but you will become stronger, good luck.
Going on 4 years of my 28 yr old daughter giving 1 word answers and refusing to talk with me. After trying everything, I have become numb too. Know i have to let go and move on.
@@sandys2672 There are days I still have the urge to contact but I remind myself how wretched and disrespected I felt and I know the next day I will be stronger. it's a roller-coaster, stay strong, it does get easier.
Beautifully done. The calming imagery helped to soothe and give a spacious feeling to such painful truths. I have just found your work and am looking forward to learning more. I notice you havent posted anything in awhile and hope you are well. Best wishes from Australia 🌺
Thank you for your kind words. I'm grateful my videos can be helpful to you! As my website and videos are a process for myself as well, there can be gaps in my activity :) I am very well and I intend to post more in the future, where I want to share and focus more on our own thoughts and behaviours. Wish you strength and kindness!
@@DealWithNarcissist glad to hear you are well! Thanks again for your helpful content and I will look forward to hearing your thoughts on healthy self care. This is where I am at too 😊
Thank you for explaining this clearly, in a way I can understand; best video I've seen on narcissism. I'm in love with someone right now who has these characteristics and this video will help me to come to a realization of this and to be healed.
THANK YOU FOR SHARING THIS. I ACTUALLY LISTENED 2 THIS TWICE.I HAVE BEEN INVOLVED WITH AN OVERT NARCISSTIS FOR OVER 8YEARS HE IS BRUTALLY ABUSIVE.. HE GIVES ME MONTHS AND YEARS OF THE SILENT TREATMENT..HE TREATS ME LIKE I DON'T EXIST. HE LOOKS AT MY TEXTS SAYING NOTHING..THE SILENT TREATMENT IS THE WORSE ABUSE EVER TO EXPERIENCE.. I FEEL AN OVER WHELMING FEELINGS OF SADNESS. AND FEAR AND FEELING LIKE IM NOT GOOD ENOUGH. HOW DO I DISCONNECT FROM THIS PERSON
Thank you for your response Demi. I'm sorry about your painful experience. It's very challenging to shift the attention from the narcissist to yourself in order to disconnect. Know that you're good enough and it's okay that it takes time. I hope you're doing well and wish you strength and more kindness!
Afternoon many times of going backwards and forwards I was told by him to not go back to his after I'd got plans to be with my Son. He expected me to kick off, but I said "Ok" quietly and calmly then blocked HIM.Now after all the time of torture I had with him HE'S getting the Silent Treatment. 🍒
My father has done these tactics all my life I’m 35 now. We don’t speak, i gave up trying to fix things. I miss him, what I’ll never understand is why would you continue to use these tactics after battling and beating cancer. Life’s so short 🥺
Your voice is perfect. It projects sympathetic love and understanding. You speak as you would to a friend who needs support. Also it seems to be so good not to look at a person who is speaking. The beautiful visuals are relaxing and promote introspection. Thank you.
To heal myself, I instigated the silent treatments, so every text hoover I got I demanded accountability for his cheating, which brought on a silent treatment - one being three months long. It was incredibly effective as I had my control back without him knowing. And in those three months I did a lot of self repair work. The thought of him now makes me feel sick.
I have a 76 year old brother who acts like a 2 year old. He throws tantrums, sabotages my things to upset me, uses the silent treatment as a form of control and plays innocent, lies, hits and insults when confronted. My 67 year old sister enables his behavior as she too is extremely toxic, which has even fed into her and his anti social personality disorder getting worst.
What is the grey rock ? Mine ignores me for weeks during a time of great despair lost my mother daughter husband ...I keep seeing grey rock .....what is this ?
Thank you, I’m learning coping methods just from the new realisation that it is actually my own strength that he fears, as it might lead to him loosing some of his iron grip on me giving in to his totally selfish wishes. His LONG habit of transferring all his bad mojo on to me, drags me down and once I’m down it’s easy to believe it IS my fault. I know I’m a ‘happy go lucky’ person, and I can often get him to lighten up, but sometimes I’m just to drained by the nagging or moaning. I’ve never had a good body image and he seized on that and made me feel lucky to have him. Now after 46 years and 6 children later, and I know he could NOT begin to live with (a person such as) himself. He has/is finally learning that he has to play nice (at least some of the time) He is faithful and loyal, unlike a full narc, so now at least I know he wants, needs and does actually love me after all. He was (I guess) afraid to allow me that secure knowledge in case I used it to expect more adult/less selfish behaviour.
Thank you for your response Pat. I'm sorry about your experience. Great you're now learning coping methods in order to better deal with this behaviour. I hope things develop in a positive way with more adult behaviour and healthy communication. Wish you strength!
@@DealWithNarcissist Update, sadly my dear Husband passed away VERY suddenly late last August 💕🙏🌹🥀 I have since leaned through (one of our adult kids psychologists) that Phil was undiagnosed ADHD and Aspie gifted, she called it, I’ve read a lot about it all now and as it’s genetic all our children will have a touch of it, could be 2% could even be much more (gifted) than Phil. It explains everything, from his great attention to detail, engineering wise and all his idiosyncrasies 🤦♀️🥀 I just wish I’d have known. Anyway better I do know now 🌹 it also explains my Mother in Laws idiosyncrasies too, she was always so very up and down with me, it wasn’t until she got dementia that she forgot she had a problem with me 🤣😇🌹 she still alive at 97 in a nursing home.
Explained to my ex narc divorce cost is pretty reasonable and in a few short weeks an uncontested divorce could be achieved. This conversation was in May 2021 he was in agreement. It is now late August he has been SUPER silent, INTERESTING. Every year I participate in a Christmas saving account through my credit union. The funds become available October 1st. Guess who's using that money to gift themselves a divorce by publication... Grown woman backup plan. AYE!!!-!
A major red flag, silent treatment. My fear is beyond words to express the anxiety and fear it created for decades., decades. I deserve love, which he denied, unable to meet anyone out of fear of him. He also disappeared, then reappeared,! Yes, thanks for your help.
On my 5th silent treatment. Each time a little longer. I work with him, just friends thank god. I saw the red flags early on..and I started to distance myself. He comes around one and then, and I keep it mineable but nice. Don’t want to upset the child 👶 knowledge is key! But when you know, you go!!!
Perfect video and perfect, really perfect English for people who learn this language. Greetings from Poland. Yours videos are amazing from narcissistic side and from English course 😍🥰☺️😘 thank you 🎈
I'm getting the silent treatment from my future X wife and now she has manipulated my lovely daughter to do the same ,as she,my future X got caught doing wrong . Now neither will talk to me to resolve the simplist of issues , blaming me for everything going wrong when I'm just trying to be the only adult not using bad language or tactics to resolve things. I am very ill and they know it and using it as a tool against me. I don't dare tell them how serious my illness is as I'm afraid they will just get worse knowing I am extremely weak physically and mentally drained. I loved these two forever I thought now , they constantly hurt me .. It's painful to watch...feel and deal with.
@@happytobsaved I know of a relationship except who can help you bring your broken relationship within 48hrs he is from Texas and he help me and my lover get back after many years of separation
When the narcissist shut up and I shut up until he had enough of me because I had no more money. Two months after the breakup, he asks me what I'm doing with my money 😄 I gave him a lot of money and he also stole money from me.
I'm currently getting the silent treatment from my mom because I brought up the abuse as children. She asks me how my therapy is going then gets mad and goes quiet for weeks. I realize as an adult that she is severely mentally ill and I know that I can't talk to her about what we went through as children at the hands of her new husband. I am learning to accept what happened so I can move on
I’m going through the same thing. I totally sympathize. Be your own best friend first! Just because their your mom doesn’t give them the right to treat you that way 💕
Some people lack accountability for their own actions and when you bring it up they are just shutting down or just gaslight you to avoid facing consequences. Those people need help , but for that to happen they need to acknowledge that they are damaged first.
dude, if she doesn't want to talk to you, you should accept it and move on. just accept the fact that you two are no longer together. and that is that.
@@margomazzeo1680 the dude is actively harassing her. she obviously broke up with him, and he can't accept that, he thinks that she is some object to be controlled. why is he calling her sick ? the girl is just looking for someone who she can get along with. she tried 2 men since she broke up with him, and none of them were husband material, so she broke up with them. so, why is she sick ? because she carefully chooses her MATE ? in order to have good children, you have to choose your mate. judging by the way this dude is stalking her, i think she made the right choice to leave him. now, if you fancy him so much, why don't you talk to Assad here, and hook up with him, instead of harassing me for giving him good advice. the reality of the matter is that they are no longer together. and he must accept that. humans are FREE TOO CHOOSE !!! do you understand the concept of freedom ?
Thank You for This video. Very well explained. I never thought this other perpective of having this silent treatment from narcisist like the opportunity of a time to analize the relation and decide to extend it to cero contact for our safety; I think some of us do that naturally like mirror effect that actually can be transform on cero contact and walking away for our mental peace.
Thank you for your kind words Patricia. I fully agree. We all have different 'natural boundaries' or responses to behaviour, and for some experiencing the silent treatment will indeed result in naturally walking away for mental peace.
17 mos Everything was my fault, even when she created the situation. She suffers from Bi Polar & a LOW self esteem. I treated her like a Queen Mom loves me & told her He's a Keeper! 16 days broke up. Day 7 of NC she reached out wished me Happy birthday. 3 days later she reached out to say she made it safely to Mom & wished me Happy Thanksgiving. Both times I chased after her. No response. I have to leave her be!! I need to let her feel the pain & loss!!
My sister-in-law used this one on my parents all the time. They would give in to whatever they wanted. Now my parents have passed, they tried it on me, I told them I am not my parents. Your silence is always welcomed. When you are ready to act like adults let me know. Click !
Someone i was seeing for short time we got alone very well. He was very kind n romantic. he when hot to cold n ghosted me without explanation n blocked me on his phone. Is that a sign of narcissist?
I'm sorry about that Maria. It's impossible to say on this one event whether someone is a narcissist. It's also not important, however, as the focus should be on the behaviour shown. The behaviour is very unhealthy and should tell you enough about this person.
It’s so crazy making!! All you can do is refuse to be affected by it & go live your own day!! Maybe they’ll come around, maybe not … don’t worry about it. Just let them be.
I'm in day three of the silent treatment and I feel like my is in knots.. I just want to resolve this so I don't have to worry about it anymore which I know is the wrong thing to do but I seriously feel like I can't breathe
@@stephanywalker4703 Yes and when it's over you get to look forward to the next silent treatment, then the next ext. It doesn't stop.i lived it for 44 years.
I’m giving a form of silent treatment so I feel called out. 😅But I was hurt by some family members about a week ago, I had to bring in 10 chairs and 3 tables by myself while my brother just sat there. He had his back turned on me when I was struggling out of breath. My sister didn’t help much but I used her place. She took over music at the party playing what I was playing loudly making me turn my phone off. I choose not to bring it up bc I want to let it go rather than harp on it. I don’t want to be like a Seinfeld episode. I try to communicate like there is nothing wrong with me until I can get over it. I don’t mean to gaslight, I really just want to forgive but I am finding it very hard for some reason.
Thank you for your response CC. It's a good thing you are aware of your behaviour because it's an opportunity to decide how you want to behave in similar events in the future :) In your example with your brother, it seems things become complicated because you don't share/communicate your need/expectation at the moment it occurs. It results in you feeling hurt and then trying to hide this feeling. This creates an inner process which will cost you energy. If you don't share your experience and you can't let it go either, it then becomes more complicated as you need to let go of something others can't even be aware of (because you're hiding it). You are in the process of trying to forgive them while they will never be aware of this whole process in your mind. Whether it's a need, an expectation or feeling hurt, it would be okay to share it right away and take yourself seriously by communicating this directly. Others can then decide themselves how they want to deal with that (as you have no influence over that), but you will have released the tension for yourself right away. I hope this makes sense ;) Wish you kindness!
I'd say all of the above..when it comes to that list.. I called her on a new supply..(gut feeling) anyway the next day she called me and asked me if I wanted to apologize.. I said for what..she then hung up.. an hour later she text me not to ever..never contact her again. Man I was so happy the weight of the world was lifted off my shoulders I deleted her numbers and her sons also.. I was always the one leaving her cause of just being sick and tired of her shit.. I always had the PROBLEM I did it was her.lol so for her to do the I'm finished part was what I needed.. another plus is no supply boy 2 can have it all.. one thing I have to say is how can we let these people ruin us and believe that they can love another when they hate themselves.. I always heard that first you have to love yourself before you can love someone else.. everyone please take care..
I was a victim of this abuse, there was no real communication. I got out not before he beat me up, because silly me I said I’m divorcing you. Then love bombing begins without saying he was actually sorry. Stayed no contact! He stalked and harassed me until I sent email to his brother through university he finally stopped! These people are awful, very unhealthy. What has been hard is healing from this abuse.
I'm sorry you're going through this Kylie. It's very unhealthy behaviour indeed. Great you managed to stay no contact! I wish you strength and more kindness in the future!
@@DealWithNarcissist thank you and yes absolutely no contact forever. I got to shelter and filed for divorce, because I did the discard I believe he treated this like a push/pull game so he continued to try contact, i stayed silent and let my attorney handle technical matters. I got restraining orders and when it came to mediation I made sure to set another boundary of this will take place in separate building and it worked, I stayed calm and according to the judge the ex showed his true nature and imploded. The stalking was the exes way to try to exert last bit of control. Predators like this are dangerous and unpredictable especially if they have a secret drinking problem.
@@kylielogan8771 It sounds you did the right thing by staying calm and letting his true nature show. It's very brutal behaviour. I'm glad you managed to do all this in such a challenging situation. This requires a lot of strength!
Sir, I HAVE SUBSCRIBED ! Amazing video, it's not easy being an empath. Living with a person like this isn't easy. I've had a real rough life and this mental abuser is my landlord downstairs. I don't have any options in the means of relocating. This has been going on for years and I'm at the point where I can't easily fall asleep anymore. As I try to drift off I am getting anxiety and hatred in my belly thinking of her. I get dirty looks for absolutely doing nothing wrong, Sometimes she snaps out of it in a few day's but lately it's been weeks at a time. I'm in my mid fifties and I can't imagine how she thinks this is normal. She is a sick individual and I'm even sicker for tolerating it but it's what I must do for shelter. I spoke with my neurologist and I take my xanax when absolutely necessary. Thank you sir, I will continue to steer clear of her at all costs. I have forgiven this terrible behavior so many times and want to kick myself for it. The mind control and tactics are that of a sick mind. Glad to have found your channel 💛
Thank you for sharing and subscribing, and for your kind words. I'm thankful if my videos can be of some help to you in this challenging situation. I hope you can manage to separate her actions from your own energy as much as possible, especially as anxiety and hatred in yourself hurts yourself only more. I wish you more kindness to yourself in this tough situation, as you can use your own kindness and compassion more than blaming yourself now :) Wish you strength!
I've had narcs go silent on them. One was my only brother. I never complain anymore about it. I might send him a friendly text occasionally, send a birthday card, or funny TH-cam videos. But, I know that I will be ignored. He used to constantly have me signing documents concerning property he and I co-own. I told him I didn't want to do anymore land deals with him. I didn't like constantly having his papers shoved down my throat. Once I stopped signing, bingo, the silent treatment. It's been going on for a long time now. I don't want to sign anymore of his papers. So, silent it remains.
I'm starting to see that silent treatment from a narcissist is a gift.
You control everything 🙏🏽💯🙌✊🏽
#FACTS
It's a blessing in disguise when the narcissist finally shuts their trap. As long as you are on to their manipulation you can turn the tables on them by not giving them what they want and being the happiest person you can be. Now that will really get their knickers in a knot!
I think the silent treatment is the crueliest thing that someone who claims to love you can possibly do. 44 years I had of that.
I'm sorry about your experience Monica. Wish you strength!
I agree. They project their emotions. It also shows how they are unable to have an effective discussion and are not even able to make a statement to a loved one, like just saying "I feel this way when you do or say this", etc. They also think that when you make a statment, it's abusive, regardless of the fact that the statement is not abusive, like stating to them, "When you do this, it is hurtful to me".
My adult son told me, after being silent for about 8 months, is that he did that to "TEACH ME A LESSON" - and the lesson was to make me feel what it would be like if he stopped contacting me forever, and how that would feel. I was shocked. Now he has done it again, and only because I called him - just calling him upset him, and I was being careful to not call him too much (I only tried to call once every 6 months after him showing me that every 3 months was too often), and I made sure to call at the right time (fearing that I might call while he was driving, at work, etc), so I called, and luckily he was at home. All I did was ask him, "Is this an okay time to call", and he went off and became very angry, and was very verbally & emotionally abusive to me.
I had to set a boundary, and have not heard from him for many months. Also, on that last phone call, he told me that I was "lucky", because he was thinking about taking a shower, and if my phone call had came through and he had been in the shower, it would not have been okay. How would I have known? He not only gaslit me, but tried to turn things to the past, that once, years ago, when he called me, I was did not answer the phone. I tried to explain that if someone calls another person, and they do not answer, it's okay - it does not mean that they should be upset or mad, I told him that I don't expect him to answer his phone and won't be mad if he does not, and that he should not be upset with me, either.
It was crazymaking! Now, we're in the midst of another silent treatment, which causes me to not be able to talk or visit my daughter in law or grandson, either, and I'm worried that he treats them this way. I had never seen my son act this way until the past 6 years, if he did before that, I did not realize it, but I don't think he did. I don't think there's anything I can do, because if I just try to call, he makes it out like I'm the one being abusive to him, just for making that phone call, no matter what I say. I have tried to call his wife, but she does not answer, so I think that she is trying to stay out of the middle of it, but I would love to be able to talk with her and make sure she and my grandchild are okay. Also, I have been reprimanded for trying to text him, so I stopped trying that long ago.
God bless 💚 you are free now. Let them go to hell
@@SydMountaineer Your experience sounds gut- punching and I can emphasize with it, to a degree,because it’s different when a child ostracizes a parent. Absolutely horrible. My brother cut our Mom and consequently me out of his life 30 some years ago and no one knows why- literally. My mother has done nothing but devote her life to her four kids and would die for us.
My sister has cut me out of her life and won’t say why either, utter silence for >a year. Power trip I guess.
My other sister is in a nursing home with early- onset dementia.
When my 96 year old mother passes away, I will have no family at all. Thankfully I do have my dear husband and three children. But this severe family dysfunction hurts like h**l. So many hurting people in this world. I’ve put my sister behind me now- we’ve got to live meaningful lives for ourselves despite the pain. 🌿
Fully agree. It's the height of cruelty and such a waste of valuable life.
The silent treatment never bothered me . Silence is better than verbal abuse . It is peaceful.
I think both are as bad as each other. I hate the silent treatment but i also hate the verbal abuse none of it is good for us it all adds up to emotional abuse.
It's a blessing
Their silence is the best thing. Let's face it....when they only open their mouths to criticise or create drama and unnecessary arguments... Who wouldn't want their silence!
That’s an excellent point!!!
THIS! I have a narcissistic ex and anytime when he’s giving the silent treatment, I have the time to reflect on myself and make time for my own.
I totally agree!!!
You just described my sister. She gave me silent treatment while she trashed about me to my brother. He taught it wouldn't last but it did, with My No Contact behaviour. No more abuse. It's Done.
One thing a Narcissist is is predictable. Gain your strength and power by knowing this. My spouse will give silent treatment for weeks over things I didn’t do for him. Celebrate the silence do not mourn the loss of communication. Work on you. Self care. Let them have their tantrum.
This is the best explanation of the silent treatment. I endured for 54 yrs…..apologizing always, doubting myself…..a real hell. Now I’m finally free of him and guess what..I’m happier than ever.
I'm sorry about your years-long experience Stafana. Great that you're free now and happier than ever! Wish you kindness.
Me too 🕊🕊🕊
I endured this mistreatment for 30 long wasted years. I can't believe this happens all the time to so many people. Basic psychology that emphasizes personality disorders should be taught in elementary and high schools to prepare people for real life.
Hi Stefana, It's my 50th anniversary this year, you are the first other person that I have seen who has been in one of these types of relationship for 50 or more years. I am so glad you are out of it. I'm working on it.
@@createwithbarbbl4125 I had it for 44 years. Silent treatments almost sent me insane.
Silent treatment will backfire when the victim becomes so numb they never return.
@Wheelsoutdoorswheelchairgirl69 Go no contact,there never going to learn. Stay away from them long enough you will heal in time.And never let them return as long as you live.
I've finally walked away,
Absolutely fantastic talk. Summed it up perfectly. Silence treatment is a punishment for us, to watch us squirm, regret, introspect for days, beg for forgiveness and to warn us and bring us back in line. The more weakness we show, the stronger they become.
Thank you for your response ShaK. Wish you strength!
This is a breakdown of my last relationship with my Ex. He would use the silent treatment Everytime i would address his apparent flaws. I got tired of this toxic environment. people that exercise this type of behavior will not change their method of communication, which is using no form of communication at ALL! I had to break out that dysfunction for my own sanity and wellbeing. # Get_out!💯
I'm sorry about your experience. Great that you had the strength to break out and chose for your own sanity. Wish you more kindness in the future!
@@DealWithNarcissist 🙏 thank you!!! 💖😊
No Contact will surprise them especially if this is new coming
from you. And they will then try to contact you. Don't fall for it!
I was always grateful when my mom was giving us her silent treatment
The silence was heavenly.
Me too!! I’m 59 she still does it! I love it!!
@@ARS-6760 ❤️
Totally agree. It's better for your health to have silence rather than rage and abuse.
Much better than sceraming about something pointless.
I had a narcissist once try this with me, I think to make me knuckle under to his control. Boy was he shocked when I cut off all ties with him. Never looked back. For years he kept asking some of my friends about me, they wouldn't tell him a thing.
Thank you for a comprehensive content on this topic. These people are cruel & cowards to the bone. In 22 years of a miserable marriage, my wife has never even once offered to sit down and discuss our problems in a mature and adult manner. All I received constantly was silent treatment for long periods of time with no regards for the affect her behaviour has on our young son. Disgusting!
Thank you for your response Sonderman. I'm sorry about your experience and I hope you're doing well. Wish you kindness and strength!
Same horrible treatment i received, one day I just snapped and out i put him never looked back
Is cruelty at its finest
This is absolutely bang on correct and explains this abusive tactic crystal clear. Thank you for a great video. When I first encountered this treatment I was so perplexed by it, it's very confusing and extremely painful behavior to inflict on empathic people that desire peace and healthy communication. Life is way too short to tolerate this emotionally stunted BS!!!
Narcissists didn't understand i didn't care what the have to say.
God bless
I was ignored by my husband for over 25 years and thank God my daughter told me to get out of the marriage because i was dying waiting around for him. Past 10 years of been the most peaceful years of my life and when I lock the door at night I go to sleep knowing I will not be bothered by that idiot coming in all hours!
Thank you for sharing Cyndi. I'm sorry about your experience. I'm glad you found this peace now. WIsh you well!
after two silent treatments from my last ex i protested, the third one resulted in complete disassociation and going no contact, whatever they say is usually lies or manipulative dialogue, cut em off, save your time and self worth
This made me feel not as alone. The experience is so isolating. Thank you.💝
Thank you for sharing S. I'm thankful it can be helpful to you in this way. I'm sorry about your experience. Wish you strength and more kindness in the future!
I know the feeling
The silent treatment makes you feel like you don't exist. It is very cruel. It is dehumanizing.
Sadly, it is indeed. Wish you strength and more kindness in the future!
I have just learned that his silent treatment is the childish stupidest thing I’ve ever seen but in a way I’m glad he’s done this, because now I see him even more ridiculous and I do not want him back
Totally agree, my ex husband behaves exactly like that and doesn’t ever takes responsibility, lies with a straight face to everyone. He Couldn’t care less about our children, it’s a difficult situation for the caring parent.
recognize the situation for what it is, and not for what you want it to be. That is so good to hear... my bubble got bursted.
Thank you for response R.P. I hope you're doing well and wish you strength and more kindness in the future!
“Toxic hope” is what i discovered i have. I’m a “serial idealizer “ In relationships. Taking some time off from dating to regain better perspective after a relationship with someone who used silent treatments effectively and made me feel worthless and literally unheard. He was surprised by my no contact decision but after 3 silent treatments and no remorse or consideration of my needs and feelings, i trusted my gut and got away. Even a plant knows to turn toward the sun, and to turn away from toxic elements….
It's actually the opposite of what the narcissist is trying to make you feel. The narcissist that uses silent treatment is not worth having anything to do with and you should go no contact with all narcissists.
How to respond? You don't. Perfect opportunity to get them distanced from you.
This video has been helpful. I am not going to be some sort of supply for anyone. It is imperative that I continue living my life and doing the things I enjoy. I am the most important person in my life.
I feel much better after I listen to this. Thank you very much!
Thank you for your kind words! I'm grateful I can help a bit this way!
The silent treatment, a game of manipulation, used as emotional abuse, ignore what you're saying because of empathy,it's all about control, it's a red flag, passive aggressive causing trouble for the victim, reasons could be recognized as a response to avoiding responsibility, the blame game used for practical means, the problem is vulnerability, triggers emotions until it's resolved, don't allow anyone to control you, it is not acceptable, you must change direction to resolve any issues, communicate your feelings in an honest way, trust intuition, make your own choices,it is what it is, set boundaries how you wanna be treated🆘✅
This video is spot on with his every word. 100% accurate 👌
I love the scenery in these videos.I haven't heard from my ex in 4 months.I don't think of it as the silent treatment anymore,I think of it as,someone I used to know.
Thank you for your kinds words. Wish you strength and kindness!
I'm 6 months no contact, can't believe what I tolerated for 10 yrs, feel so stupid .
@@andrewrees8749 congratulations,I'm 1&1/2 years now contact but still dealing with his flying monkeys,but they're so dumb,I just laugh at them.
This has been THE red flag of all red flags in my sister’s case,and in hindsight, there have been many bizarre things that we all just good-naturedly accepted.My sister,with whom I thought I had such a strong bond, turned her back to me and my family more than a year ago,and has refused to even say why. It’s as though, as far as she is concerned,we have literally evaporated into thin air.
I’ve now come to learn that she has convinced our very elderly mother to sign over her entire estate to her under the guise of efficiency, and my poor mother trusts that my sister will divide everything evenly amongst her children, as this is her only wish. My mother will be betrayed.
The cold, calculating, vindictive person I now see as my sister, has deliberately estranged two of us as part of her agenda, the third is sadly terminally ill. So, we’re all out of the way. It’s a nightmare I could never have imagined. Before this year I knew nothing about narcissism. Thank you for your content, it really helps. 🌿
Your story is almost exact as mine ,2015 this happened to me and was hell ,I pray for you to get thru this with your used to be bonded sister and your momma 🙏🏻
My sister has a again for the 5 th time giving me the silent treatment and is all from the past when my mother was terminally ill ,so sad she can throw away a relationship (TWINS ) over something so long ago but it haunts her and she just up and ignores me out of the blue .no explanation nothing ,we’ll I have learned I can’t cry and pace waiting to hear from her ,I have a life I need to live and that is what I’m doing but it does hurt as we were very very close before my mother passed away
@@juliesilva6760 It’s awful isn’t it? I tried for a solid year to communicate with my sister…silence. I am still stunned that this has happened. Never once thought narcissism was, likely, her issue. Knew nothing about it until I started googling all of the odd things I’d noticed but dismissed about her. Narcissism kept being the end result of my searches. Super painful to know now that she *never* cared. She deserves an Oscar.
At the one year mark I stopped trying to reconnect,and won’t resume. Her loss. All the best to you! 🌿
@@jennifer97363 yes exactly as my situation ,she has had every opportunity to buy her own home with her husband as I have ,she told hey mother she would keep her home and borrow on the equity to fix some things , we’ll this is the story she told me her n mom talked about ,and we’ll after mom died she was in the house the next day ,she also a week before my mother died she asked me not to sign my name on the quit claim deed as being 50/50 on the house and I told her if something happens to her that I would get moms home and not her thieving son another story to he told one day ,anyhow my name was on the legal form drew up by moms attorney so o signed it and that made my sister flip out only few weeks after my mom died she tried to intimidate me to remove my name ,so glad I didn’t
@@juliesilva6760 Good for you for standing strong in a very unpleasant situation. The drama these ppl create…
Thank you for this everything has been right on. I'm free I don't live in fear anymore. I'm still being stalked everyday but I finally have freedom.
I'm sorry about your experience K B. Great you don't live in fear anymore! Wish you more kindness in the future!
Thank you so much for this video I’ve looked and searched everywhere to find some answers to my questions and you have answer them for me one of the best videos out there yet
Thank you for your kind words. I'm grateful it's helpful to you.
Wow! This video is so helpful. You tell it all as it is and it is spot on. Thank you for this, it is a great one because you explain much of it. This should help so many people struggling to figure out what the heck is going on. Love it!
Thank you for your kind words Ruby! I'm glad it's helpful for you and hopefully for others as well! :)
Take it that ..its over.. Move on .then it'll be too late for them to reel you back in
It's happened so many times now, I feel numb. It's taken a lot of years and tears though.
I'm sorry about your experience. Wish you strength!
Im going through this now
@@cherryspeakman9447 I'm sorry to hear this. I don't know your situation but each time it happened I became a little bit more immune to the heartache this caused and more clued up to the patterns. The person won't get better but you will become stronger, good luck.
Going on 4 years of my 28 yr old daughter giving 1 word answers and refusing to talk with me. After trying everything, I have become numb too. Know i have to let go and move on.
@@sandys2672 There are days I still have the urge to contact but I remind myself how wretched and disrespected I felt and I know the next day I will be stronger. it's a roller-coaster, stay strong, it does get easier.
Beautifully done. The calming imagery helped to soothe and give a spacious feeling to such painful truths. I have just found your work and am looking forward to learning more. I notice you havent posted anything in awhile and hope you are well.
Best wishes from Australia 🌺
Thank you for your kind words. I'm grateful my videos can be helpful to you! As my website and videos are a process for myself as well, there can be gaps in my activity :) I am very well and I intend to post more in the future, where I want to share and focus more on our own thoughts and behaviours. Wish you strength and kindness!
@@DealWithNarcissist glad to hear you are well! Thanks again for your helpful content and I will look forward to hearing your thoughts on healthy self care. This is where I am at too 😊
They are demons in de guise. Wave goodbye to them all and start to begin again 😉💚☝️
Thank you for explaining this clearly, in a way I can understand; best video I've seen on narcissism. I'm in love with someone right now who has these characteristics and this video will help me to come to a realization of this and to be healed.
Thank you for your kinds words Regina. Wish you strength!
I love how real you are about this condition..
It's explained so plain and easy to understand this situationship
Thank you❤
Thank you for kind words. Wish you well!
THANK YOU FOR SHARING THIS.
I ACTUALLY LISTENED 2 THIS TWICE.I HAVE BEEN INVOLVED WITH AN OVERT NARCISSTIS FOR OVER 8YEARS HE IS BRUTALLY ABUSIVE..
HE GIVES ME MONTHS AND YEARS OF THE SILENT TREATMENT..HE TREATS ME LIKE I DON'T EXIST. HE LOOKS AT MY TEXTS SAYING NOTHING..THE SILENT TREATMENT IS THE WORSE ABUSE EVER TO EXPERIENCE..
I FEEL AN OVER WHELMING FEELINGS OF SADNESS. AND FEAR AND FEELING LIKE IM NOT GOOD ENOUGH. HOW DO I DISCONNECT FROM THIS PERSON
Thank you for your response Demi. I'm sorry about your painful experience. It's very challenging to shift the attention from the narcissist to yourself in order to disconnect. Know that you're good enough and it's okay that it takes time. I hope you're doing well and wish you strength and more kindness!
@@DealWithNarcissist
Thank You So Very Much 🙏
Just FOR CARING
Leave anyway possible and never i mean never look back !!!!
Afternoon many times of going backwards and forwards I was told by him to not go back to his after I'd got plans to be with my Son. He expected me to kick off, but I said "Ok" quietly and calmly then blocked HIM.Now after all the time of torture I had with him HE'S getting the Silent Treatment. 🍒
My father has done these tactics all my life I’m 35 now. We don’t speak, i gave up trying to fix things. I miss him, what I’ll never understand is why would you continue to use these tactics after battling and beating cancer. Life’s so short 🥺
I'm sorry about your experience Justin. Wish you strength and kindness!
Its a bit hard to communicate with them when they ghost you & they ran off disappeared & we have major legal matters to talk about & settle
That's disturbing. I'm sorry you have to deal with this situation Helen. Wish you strength!
Yeahh i feel u 🥺 i try do discussed but she won't coperate
🙌🏾💯 thanks. I thought I was going mad.
Lock them in a place together! Nobody needs their abuse!!
Your voice is perfect. It projects sympathetic love and understanding. You speak as you would to a friend who needs support. Also it seems to be so good not to look at a person who is speaking. The beautiful visuals are relaxing and promote introspection. Thank you.
Thank you for your kind response James. I hope it strengthens the message and I'm thankful you experience it this way. Wish you strength!
I blocked someone over a year ago that i was friends with for giving me the silent treatment...goodbye loser!!!!
To heal myself, I instigated the silent treatments, so every text hoover I got I demanded accountability for his cheating, which brought on a silent treatment - one being three months long. It was incredibly effective as I had my control back without him knowing. And in those three months I did a lot of self repair work. The thought of him now makes me feel sick.
I'm sorry about your experience. Great you created this space to allow yourself to heal! Wish you strength and more kindness in the future!
This is so true.
I have a 76 year old brother who acts like a 2 year old. He throws tantrums, sabotages my things to upset me, uses the silent treatment as a form of control and plays innocent, lies, hits and insults when confronted. My 67 year old sister enables his behavior as she too is extremely toxic, which has even fed into her and his anti social personality disorder getting worst.
Wow! Just wow
How to respond..?
Ans: Not to respond. Be stoic and grey rock. It will kill the Narcissist metaphorically.
What is the grey rock ? Mine ignores me for weeks during a time of great despair lost my mother daughter husband ...I keep seeing grey rock .....what is this ?
@@Kthryngoodpretend that you and your life are very boring. The narcissist wil seek other supply.
Thank you for this video, it has helped a lot.
My mother does this to me all the time:)
Thank you..sometimes I have to treat my wife like a child..it’s mentally exhausting
Thank you, I’m learning coping methods just from the new realisation that it is actually my own strength that he fears, as it might lead to him loosing some of his iron grip on me giving in to his totally selfish wishes.
His LONG habit of transferring all his bad mojo on to me, drags me down and once I’m down it’s easy to believe it IS my fault.
I know I’m a ‘happy go lucky’ person, and I can often get him to lighten up, but sometimes I’m just to drained by the nagging or moaning.
I’ve never had a good body image and he seized on that and made me feel lucky to have him.
Now after 46 years and 6 children later, and I know he could NOT begin to live with (a person such as) himself. He has/is finally learning that he has to play nice (at least some of the time)
He is faithful and loyal, unlike a full narc, so now at least I know he wants, needs and does actually love me after all.
He was (I guess) afraid to allow me that secure knowledge in case I used it to expect more adult/less selfish behaviour.
Thank you for your response Pat. I'm sorry about your experience. Great you're now learning coping methods in order to better deal with this behaviour. I hope things develop in a positive way with more adult behaviour and healthy communication. Wish you strength!
@@DealWithNarcissist how lovely to receive such a kind and positive response 💕 why do people need to diminish others, is beyond my understanding 🌹💕🙏
At least he is self aware and accept responsibility to a certain extent.
@@DealWithNarcissist Update, sadly my dear Husband passed away VERY suddenly late last August 💕🙏🌹🥀 I have since leaned through (one of our adult kids psychologists) that Phil was undiagnosed ADHD and Aspie gifted, she called it, I’ve read a lot about it all now and as it’s genetic all our children will have a touch of it, could be 2% could even be much more (gifted) than Phil. It explains everything, from his great attention to detail, engineering wise and all his idiosyncrasies 🤦♀️🥀 I just wish I’d have known. Anyway better I do know now 🌹 it also explains my Mother in Laws idiosyncrasies too, she was always so very up and down with me, it wasn’t until she got dementia that she forgot she had a problem with me 🤣😇🌹 she still alive at 97 in a nursing home.
Great video! Clear and straight to the point.
Thank you for your kind words Cheryl
Explained to my ex narc divorce cost is pretty reasonable and in a few short weeks an uncontested divorce could be achieved. This conversation was in May 2021 he was in agreement. It is now late August he has been SUPER silent, INTERESTING. Every year I participate in a Christmas saving account through my credit union. The funds become available October 1st. Guess who's using that money to gift themselves a divorce by publication... Grown woman backup plan. AYE!!!-!
This is a great video !
Don’t respond stay silent 🔇 and love yourself and live
A major red flag, silent treatment. My fear is beyond words to express the anxiety and fear it created for decades., decades. I deserve love, which he denied, unable to meet anyone out of fear of him. He also disappeared, then reappeared,!
Yes, thanks for your help.
Thank you for sharing. I’m sorry about your painful experience. Wish you strength and more kindness in the future!
Thank You For Sharing I Needed This I Have Learned A lot From This
Thank you for your response Demi. I'm thankful this can be helpful for you!
@@DealWithNarcissist
You Are So Very
Welcome
On my 5th silent treatment. Each time a little longer. I work with him, just friends thank god. I saw the red flags early on..and I started to distance myself. He comes around one and then, and I keep it mineable but nice. Don’t want to upset the child 👶 knowledge is key! But when you know, you go!!!
Best clear explanation i ever heard. Thankyou xxx. I feel better x
Thank you Karen. I'm glad it's helpful to you!
Perfect video and perfect, really perfect English for people who learn this language. Greetings from Poland. Yours videos are amazing from narcissistic side and from English course 😍🥰☺️😘 thank you 🎈
Thank you for your kind words! I'm thankful it can be helpful to you, as well as for your English :)
Excellent video 👏👏👏
Great contribution.
Spot on, Thankyou
I'm getting the silent treatment from my future X wife and now she has manipulated my lovely daughter to do the same ,as she,my future X got caught doing wrong .
Now neither will talk to me to resolve the simplist of issues , blaming me for everything going wrong when I'm just trying to be the only adult not using bad language or tactics to resolve things.
I am very ill and they know it and using it as a tool against me.
I don't dare tell them how serious my illness is as I'm afraid they will just get worse knowing I am extremely weak physically and mentally drained.
I loved these two forever I thought now , they constantly hurt me ..
It's painful to watch...feel and deal with.
I'm sorry you are going through this. It must be hard. Wish you better health and strength!
@@DealWithNarcissist thank you
@@happytobsaved I know of a relationship except who can help you bring your broken relationship within 48hrs he is from Texas and he help me and my lover get back after many years of separation
@@happytobsaved Text him would explain how it works +1 2 0 4 8 0 8 2 2 3 4..!!!!!!!!
@@happytobsaved He is indeed problem a problem solve
When the narcissist shut up and I shut up until he had enough of me because I had no more money. Two months after the breakup, he asks me what I'm doing with my money 😄 I gave him a lot of money and he also stole money from me.
They are bastards. The narc owes me a fortune.
Thank youuu!!!
Yes thank you!
I'm currently getting the silent treatment from my mom because I brought up the abuse as children. She asks me how my therapy is going then gets mad and goes quiet for weeks. I realize as an adult that she is severely mentally ill and I know that I can't talk to her about what we went through as children at the hands of her new husband. I am learning to accept what happened so I can move on
I'm sorry about your experience Evelyn. Wish you strength!
I’m going through the same thing. I totally sympathize. Be your own best friend first! Just because their your mom doesn’t give them the right to treat you that way 💕
Some people lack accountability for their own actions and when you bring it up they are just shutting down or just gaslight you to avoid facing consequences. Those people need help , but for that to happen they need to acknowledge that they are damaged first.
The I tention is to hurt another, like ghosting! Terrifying!
very helpful !! best video ever on this topic,
Thank you for your kinds words Subodh! I'm glad it's helpful to you.
This is a really good video wow amazing , great content
An outstanding prestation. Thank you.
I'm no contract from 7 months, she already change 2 man, they are sick people
I'm sorry about your experience Assad. Wish you strength and more kindness in the future!
dude, if she doesn't want to talk to you, you should accept it and move on.
just accept the fact that you two are no longer together. and that is that.
@@itsMe_TheHerpes Stop being so cut & dry..very uncompassionate..You are not the Feelings Police here..so stfu.
@@margomazzeo1680 the dude is actively harassing her. she obviously broke up with him, and he can't accept that, he thinks that she is some object to be controlled.
why is he calling her sick ? the girl is just looking for someone who she can get along with.
she tried 2 men since she broke up with him, and none of them were husband material, so she broke up with them.
so, why is she sick ? because she carefully chooses her MATE ? in order to have good children, you have to choose your mate.
judging by the way this dude is stalking her, i think she made the right choice to leave him.
now, if you fancy him so much, why don't you talk to Assad here, and hook up with him, instead of harassing me for giving him good advice.
the reality of the matter is that they are no longer together. and he must accept that. humans are FREE TOO CHOOSE !!!
do you understand the concept of freedom ?
Very helpful 🤍
Thank You for This video. Very well explained. I never thought this other perpective of having this silent treatment from narcisist like the opportunity of a time to analize the relation and decide to extend it to cero contact for our safety; I think some of us do that naturally like mirror effect that actually can be transform on cero contact and walking away for our mental peace.
Thank you for your kind words Patricia. I fully agree. We all have different 'natural boundaries' or responses to behaviour, and for some experiencing the silent treatment will indeed result in naturally walking away for mental peace.
When she ignores me, I consider the bttle won for the moment.
Thank you very much 🙏
17 mos Everything was my fault, even when she created the situation. She suffers from Bi Polar & a LOW self esteem. I treated her like a Queen Mom loves me & told her He's a Keeper!
16 days broke up.
Day 7 of NC she reached out wished me Happy birthday. 3 days later she reached out to say she made it safely to Mom & wished me Happy Thanksgiving.
Both times I chased after her. No response. I have to leave her be!! I need to let her feel the pain & loss!!
My sister-in-law used this one on my parents all the time. They would give in to whatever they wanted. Now my parents have passed, they tried it on me, I told them I am not my parents. Your silence is always welcomed. When you are ready to act like adults let me know. Click !
Great you’re setting boundaries to protect yourself! Wish you kindness
Someone i was seeing for short time we got alone very well. He was very kind n romantic. he when hot to cold n ghosted me without explanation n blocked me on his phone. Is that a sign of narcissist?
I'm sorry about that Maria. It's impossible to say on this one event whether someone is a narcissist. It's also not important, however, as the focus should be on the behaviour shown. The behaviour is very unhealthy and should tell you enough about this person.
@@DealWithNarcissist thank you.
You're amazing
Great video! Thank you so much.
It’s so crazy making!! All you can do is refuse to be affected by it & go live your own day!! Maybe they’ll come around, maybe not … don’t worry about it. Just let them be.
Exactly
This is really good ❤
Everything is my fault. I'm so tired
I'm sorry you're going through this Stephany. Wish you strength and more kindness!
I'm in day three of the silent treatment and I feel like my is in knots.. I just want to resolve this so I don't have to worry about it anymore which I know is the wrong thing to do but I seriously feel like I can't breathe
Wait until its 23 years...last time I heard from or saw my son.
@@stephanywalker4703 Yes and when it's over you get to look forward to the next silent treatment, then the next ext. It doesn't stop.i lived it for 44 years.
No superman has treated me so bad since 1984 , he’s the The King of pain !!
So far this is the best treatment for narc is to go on no contact and silence too will piss them more so as they will fall on to your demands .
On point vid! Cheers👍 subbed
I’m giving a form of silent treatment so I feel called out. 😅But I was hurt by some family members about a week ago, I had to bring in 10 chairs and 3 tables by myself while my brother just sat there. He had his back turned on me when I was struggling out of breath. My sister didn’t help much but I used her place. She took over music at the party playing what I was playing loudly making me turn my phone off. I choose not to bring it up bc I want to let it go rather than harp on it. I don’t want to be like a Seinfeld episode. I try to communicate like there is nothing wrong with me until I can get over it. I don’t mean to gaslight, I really just want to forgive but I am finding it very hard for some reason.
Thank you for your response CC. It's a good thing you are aware of your behaviour because it's an opportunity to decide how you want to behave in similar events in the future :) In your example with your brother, it seems things become complicated because you don't share/communicate your need/expectation at the moment it occurs. It results in you feeling hurt and then trying to hide this feeling. This creates an inner process which will cost you energy.
If you don't share your experience and you can't let it go either, it then becomes more complicated as you need to let go of something others can't even be aware of (because you're hiding it). You are in the process of trying to forgive them while they will never be aware of this whole process in your mind.
Whether it's a need, an expectation or feeling hurt, it would be okay to share it right away and take yourself seriously by communicating this directly. Others can then decide themselves how they want to deal with that (as you have no influence over that), but you will have released the tension for yourself right away.
I hope this makes sense ;) Wish you kindness!
I'd say all of the above..when it comes to that list.. I called her on a new supply..(gut feeling) anyway the next day she called me and asked me if I wanted to apologize.. I said for what..she then hung up.. an hour later she text me not to ever..never contact her again. Man I was so happy the weight of the world was lifted off my shoulders I deleted her numbers and her sons also.. I was always the one leaving her cause of just being sick and tired of her shit.. I always had the PROBLEM I did it was her.lol so for her to do the I'm finished part was what I needed.. another plus is no supply boy 2 can have it all.. one thing I have to say is how can we let these people ruin us and believe that they can love another when they hate themselves.. I always heard that first you have to love yourself before you can love someone else.. everyone please take care..
I was a victim of this abuse, there was no real communication. I got out not before he beat me up, because silly me I said I’m divorcing you. Then love bombing begins without saying he was actually sorry. Stayed no contact! He stalked and harassed me until I sent email to his brother through university he finally stopped! These people are awful, very unhealthy. What has been hard is healing from this abuse.
I'm sorry you're going through this Kylie. It's very unhealthy behaviour indeed. Great you managed to stay no contact! I wish you strength and more kindness in the future!
@@DealWithNarcissist thank you and yes absolutely no contact forever. I got to shelter and filed for divorce, because I did the discard I believe he treated this like a push/pull game so he continued to try contact, i stayed silent and let my attorney handle technical matters. I got restraining orders and when it came to mediation I made sure to set another boundary of this will take place in separate building and it worked, I stayed calm and according to the judge the ex showed his true nature and imploded. The stalking was the exes way to try to exert last bit of control. Predators like this are dangerous and unpredictable especially if they have a secret drinking problem.
@@kylielogan8771 It sounds you did the right thing by staying calm and letting his true nature show. It's very brutal behaviour. I'm glad you managed to do all this in such a challenging situation. This requires a lot of strength!
Sir, I HAVE SUBSCRIBED ! Amazing video, it's not easy being an empath. Living with a person like this isn't easy.
I've had a real rough life and this mental abuser is my landlord downstairs. I don't have any options in the means of relocating.
This has been going on for years and I'm at the point where I can't easily fall asleep anymore. As I try to drift off I am getting anxiety and hatred in my belly thinking of her.
I get dirty looks for absolutely doing nothing wrong, Sometimes she snaps out of it in a few day's but lately it's been weeks at a time. I'm in my mid fifties and I can't imagine how she thinks this is normal.
She is a sick individual and I'm even sicker for tolerating it but it's what I must do for shelter. I spoke with my neurologist and I take my xanax when absolutely necessary.
Thank you sir, I will continue to steer clear of her at all costs. I have forgiven this terrible behavior so many times and want to kick myself for it.
The mind control and tactics are that of a sick mind. Glad to have found your channel 💛
Thank you for sharing and subscribing, and for your kind words. I'm thankful if my videos can be of some help to you in this challenging situation. I hope you can manage to separate her actions from your own energy as much as possible, especially as anxiety and hatred in yourself hurts yourself only more. I wish you more kindness to yourself in this tough situation, as you can use your own kindness and compassion more than blaming yourself now :) Wish you strength!
@@DealWithNarcissist 💗
Silent treatment is. Like being constantly ghosted!
I've had narcs go silent on them. One was my only brother. I never complain anymore about it. I might send him a friendly text occasionally, send a birthday card, or funny TH-cam videos. But, I know that I will be ignored. He used to constantly have me signing documents concerning property he and I co-own. I told him I didn't want to do anymore land deals with him. I didn't like constantly having his papers shoved down my throat. Once I stopped signing, bingo, the silent treatment. It's been going on for a long time now. I don't want to sign anymore of his papers. So, silent it remains.
this is my mom. She weaponizes affection to control her relationship with me.
Wish you strength!
Thank you soooooooo much! I love you!
I'm glad this could be helpful to you Mista :)
The best thing a narcissist can do for you, the silient treatment, lol.It was for me anyway.
Very good! 👍