Iunno, this video was just weird. I feel like hearing in depth details of peoples sexual experiences ALWAYS sounds awkward and more creepy then it really was but maybe we're wrong. What do yall think? You think the guy was in the wrong, the girl? Or both. Comment!
Both of them messed up, crazy how some people can get so far along in life without learning to communicate, especially when it comes to something as intimate as sex
It was hard to watch, but honestly I'm just glad to be watching yawl again. My world on this day is whole again. Sending you all the healing positive loving energy your way that I can gather.
How does anything that she said makes her look good? She was back and forth on wanting it and clearly too drunk to remember anything. That entire video clip was sad and could have ended badly for the both of them.
Over the course of my life, I've dated a few women that broke it off with me because I didn't initiate sex when I misread the situation and felt they were being hesitant and so I backed off. I felt I was being respectful. Later on, and after talking with female friends about the situations I experienced, I understood that these women wanted to be chased, wanted me to be aggressive, they wanted the feeling that their sexuality was so overwhelming that I couldn't control myself and had to smash her. That's a dangerous game. I don't regret missing those opportunities because now I see it as the women that behaved like this were escaping accountability. If they liked it then they would've pursued a relationship, if they didn't, they could say, "well, he forced himself on me". Don't play or risk getting played.
A man saying he would like to have sex and then you just going along with it isn't the same as being pressured into having sex. Men aren't mind readers. Bad sex isn't the same as sexual assault.
Yah, I feel like it was kind of a trap situation, if she didn't want sex she shouldn't have been at her house with no place to go back to (its not as big a deal to retreat back to your house, but it feels worse to kick someone out) She was unsure but she liked the guy, she should have just been honest and said she was unsure and wanted towait. When women start making out with men they make it almost impossible to step back/stop especially with alcohol involved everything gets rolling, and men's self control starts to slip away. It is better to be sober and aware, and communicate about this stuff, better to wait for a better time in the future than create a negative or unpleasant experience because of rushing into something.
The problem is that a lot of men retaliate when women turn them down. It can get ugly. I refused to sleep with a co-worker and he started telling black people I was racist and turned everyone against me that he could. That's a major reason women try to be careful in how and when they let a guy down. They don't want to create a new enemy.
@@anarcho-communist11 still say no. Would you rather allow access to your body to someone you don't feel comfortable with or them talk nonsense because you refused them? Because even if you allow them they can and most likely will still talk nonsense, at some point sooner or later you will have to put your foot down and say no which they can try to mess you up anyway. So ladies say no if you are uncomfortable or unsure. Gentleman if a woman is unsure, back away. No means no, and maybe means no when it comes to things such as sex. Unless someone says yes and is in a state to consent, then one should not proceed with sex. Do not allow someone to have access to your body who you don't want to. And I'm sorry that that happened to you.
Yep but after dating lots of women. Most of them just want sex but you women go through dates to seem innocent and not easy when in actuality you just want sex too. This is why I never fall for the virgin shit
I honestly I think the problem with dating and relationships nowadays is four things 1. Instant Gratification 2. Lack of communication 3. Always another option out there 4. Me me me me me In my experiences I feel like these are the most problems I hear with dating and relationships because hearing them from another female these are the four areas where most of the problems for them in relationship/dating and why I believe people are becoming more to themselves nowadays and don't really care about having someone with them
I would also add that people who get with a person sexually may think they have a relationship. Just because we have sex doesn't mean I want to be with you beyond that. But we have women inculcated on this notion that they should be like men and just have sex with anyone and everyone, and it doesn't work like that, ever.
ChaosoneX Honestly with just have sex just to have sex that brings a whole different slew of problems to both parties. Unless( and this is a really big unless) they both have agreed and said that this is just FWB then maybe but even in that they could be lying to themselves and sex will always create feelings no matter what. Honestly the whole FWB is a really bad situation because it just creates more hurt people hurt people situations and humans really don’t have the capacity to do that without some attachment
@ree because sex was basically programmed into every ones brains back in the 90s and early 2000s...Now in 2020 theyre programming drug addicts. (lean, pills,)
For real and this shows how easy it is for them to ruin your life. Bitch called him in the morning assassinating his character and calling him names he’s lucky she didn’t assassinate his entre life.
Also she’s says she barely remember anything because she supposedly disassociates.Herself while having sex mind she also says she was drunk as a skunk. Honestly the most fucked up part of the story is that she knows for a fact it lasted minutes don’t let her little “ehh i guess 10 minutes” fool you. I believe she wasn’t black out drunk disassociated herself she was counting the seconds herself. The only time she actually disassociated herself was when she called the dude in the morning literally staying things that either did or did not happen. She hung up feeling like fucking god and easily went on with her life like nothing happened he hung replaying the events of that night over and a over again for quite awhile I bet.
Inebriatd What so now the guy was supposed to be a mind reader? She didn’t say anything. She also didn’t take any responsibility whatsoever, and that is really frustrating.
@@ВаляНот Omg all you people are the same. She clearly told him the 1st time they kissed she was not comfortable, how do you miss that? This whole comment section is full of degenerates who dont listen and just join all case that show a girl having and uncomfortable experience with a guy as "he going to get charged". At no point did she accuse him of anything as there is nothing to accuse him of! If thats the case then most freaking men on this dying planet would be in fucking prison right now!
@@ВаляНот Clearly i am referring to every spaz on here making it something that it obviously is not. Dont be a fool tryna ask me some dumb question omg. And exactly, so why ya'll straight jumping to the lengths you are astonishes me. Stop reading so deep into it, its just mistakes done by 2 people.
you do realize that this particular man did not listen to her when she said "she wasn't sure if she wanted to do it" and that when he didn't want to wear a condom, it was his choice and not theirs to have UNSAFE sex? these aren't false allegations. just bc it wasn't rape doesn't mean he did everything right.
@@DarkPaleUnicorn Now where in my comment did I say he did everything right. It's down both as Aba said both having skewed ideas of what happened and putting alcohol into the mix? Makes everything a whole lot more complicated.Especially if you're already anxious, alcohol is a stimulant and will make it worse. Think. It's communication needed on both parts because as helpful as non verbal cues are for courting and sex people need to verbalize. Otherwise they may end up angry at the other person because they themselves did not communicate properly.And from what I see both stories aren't 100% true. I mean she can remember certain difficult things like the length of time but not whether or not they drank? Also I believe the guy took his responsibility of what happened but she decided not to and took the victim route.
@@TanLFC7 FOR M. man have to do everything and play the parent role, what he does not thing of how he is degrading women with that putting them on the same place as kids. If all responsibility is on man how can we even talk about a strong women.
My wife is talking about putting in braids. I reminded her that she did this once before about 10 years ago and she hated it so much she took them out 2 days later. She denied that ever happened for a week until I found a photo.
This girl went from saying "it was a one night stand" in the beginning, and that she ghosted him after. To telling him she thought they were dating... The games women play
there are many women that will just say whatever is more convenient at the moment. Always pay attention to what they ARENT saying and always call them out on their bs. And dont let them change the subject every time you have a 'gotcha!' moment.
4 ปีที่แล้ว +58
Dude, this bitch has 9 different versions of what happened in her fucking head. 1. The story she tells herself. 2. The story she tells her friends. 3. The story she tells her mom. 4. The story she tells her BEST friend. 5. The story she tells him. 6. The story she tells her crush who saw them hanging out. 7. The story she tells her random family member who asks when she's getting married. 8. The story she tells her therapist. 9. The story she'll tell the police should he ghost her ass and she gets all butthurt over it.
Her communication is on the level of a 3 year old. She does not need to be in a relationship or having sex with anyone until she works on herself and fixes her issues. Someone is going to end up in jail for sure.
Well part of it is she probably handnt had to many interactions in that way... I mean she let some guy who she wasnt with nut in her and only remember he lasted 10 minutes. Thats all u need to know about her levels lol
@@gravy7103 I've heard some people say that women mature faster, but they stop maturing quicker than men. Now, whether that is true or incel bullshit, I do not know
Oh my.. She is the kind of girl my mom warns me about. She said it was a one night stand, they were in her home and couldnt lay down the law, didnt say stop when she started to feel uncomfortable to the point of disassociating, and then said she thought they were together.. Your verbal and nonverbal communication need to line up
I presume there is more context that would make things a little more clear-cut in the scenario, like maybe he said he liked morning wood sex or something of the like. That being said, the reaction is kind of comes off in the same tone as the episode from South Park that dealt with student teacher relationships, with the police officers going "nice."
Take me as an example. Girl called the cops on me after I tried to kiss her and I quote "because if I didnt say no you wouldve kept kissing me which i dont want and that's rape" stay safe kings
One minute it’s “I don’t wanna sleep with you” the next it’s “I wanna sleep with you now”. Fellas if the woman you’re dealing with is this indecisive with how she communicates her intentions with you save ur time & effort and leave her be it AINT worth it. He’s lucky he didn’t get accused of sexual assault cause we all know it would be “guilty until proven innocent”.
Yup, I completely agree. As a woman myself I know how to use my words and my vocabulary. Personally I don't think anyone should have sex under the influence and this video is already enough Evidence as to why. Men if a woman is unsure about sex I suggest you just leave, You may be disappointed but at least you walk away a free man.
Exactly. If she says she's not sure and seems to be leaning toward no, don't do it. If five minutes later she's saying yes, DEFINITELY do NOT do it. Someone with that kind of mentality, drunk or not, is not someone you want to take the chance with.
@@akaylab.134 Yes, and at the same time we need to teach women to be clear about their intent. Yes if a woman isn't sure don't take the chance but also if a woman isn't sure she needs to just say no.
Erika yeah I know but that’s too risky the minute a woman denies my sexual advances I’m not gonna continue my pursuit even if she changes her mind after. If her intentions arent clear then it’s a no. “Better to be safe than sorry”
When I was in my early 20s, I was very wild, and was working through a lot of issues. I can't say the number of times that I felt the way this girl had, but never did I feel it was the man's fault. I was young, insecure, usually very drunk, and I went through with things I didn't want to bc I didn't have the maturity to speak out beforehand. Communication is absolutely the key here, Aba nailed it. Women, if you're unable to speak about such things, then that is prob a sign that you shouldn't be having sex.
When being direct kills passion and being indirect kills passion we are left with this Schrodinger's cat of confusion that makes the whole endeavour too risky to undertake. That's just may take.
@@iguardproperties4781 try being a direct guy with average looks. I wanna say average even though I think more highly of myself my results would disagree. Anyways my point is from my experience it's different.
Had the same experience in college……we cuddled up and fell asleep after a long night of partying….next thing I know I wake up to her stroking me and I just went through with it. SMH us men are so easy.
EXACTLY! So when women asks “what are we” it’s so there’s not mis-understanding!!! Like some will be happy doing casual, dating or some just friends. So important to communicate it!!
Her: I thought we were in a relationship but it offended me that he kissed me. I routinely slept over at his place and never had physical contact with him but I still feel weird that he only saw us as friends. Um what?
Such a crazy moment when she first said she saw them as friends when asked in private THEN said she thought they were seeing each other when they were together
That's why I for myself prefer an old fashioned relationship. Being friends, starting clearly dating and marrying. I respect everyones choice to live their own way. But for me I personally don't want those possible complicated situations where you are uncertain what your exact relationship is. I'm stupid so I want it super simple.
Hylia you’re not stupid for wanting a straightforward, no time wasted path to what you want. I’m the same damned way because I know what I want. You do too. No little childish games.
That is not the old fashioned way. Very few people started of as friends arranged marriages or love marriage which a man would ask a woman out for a date with the intention that he wanted to marry her. No one was asking women for being friends and the date and then marriage???
it's strange how things flipped: -in her eyes they were dating but she was unsure about having sex -in his eyes they were just friends but he was willing to have sex --- -after having sex SHE no longer wanted to be with him -after having sex HE wanted to move forward and was sad that she cut him off
Sucks how he had interest in going farther only after she gave him great sex. Did he actually like her or was it the puss he wanted more of on a consistent basis?
That girl was filled with emotional immaturity. That could have quickly turned worse for the guy than it did. She worded it as if he had forced her to go with it which, by the way, is definitely not the case!
@@Sketch3233 And his immaturity would have led to a pregnancy with a woman he wasn't dating leading to the contributing single motherhood problem. It's worse bringing an innocent child into this world than a few years in prison which this case most likely wouldn't have as the majority of rape cases brought to court do not end up in a conviction at all. Very few do and less than 10% are even reported to begin with.
@@LanarkLarry I thought that was a look of "Are you serious?" However, What kind of "Are you serious?", was it? Was it the look of a concerned friend, shocked that he wasn't told sooner? Or was he victim shaming his friend for complaining about having sex? It all would have come down to what he said next. But they dropped the topic before he opened his mouth.
She wasn't ready yet. She did it for fear of losing a great guy. She felt pressured to continue. Her signals were weak at best so he did not notice. When she said that she " disassociated " she means that while it was happening she shut her mind and tried to bear it by blocking what was happening like giving yourself over to the terrible experience. So the next day she felt sick about it and cut him off. I do not agree with her communication but I understand.
@@TheMariemarie16 I don't. She was so disassociated she remembered he didn't last that long. Yup her mind was shut down right. I don't subscribe to the felt pressured thing either. Due to the serious nature of these things, she needs to properly communicate like an adult. Anything less is emotional immaturity with an extreme lack of accountability. This stuff ain't nothing to play with anymore. It can turn into a false allegation real quick.
@@ThatGuy-en2nn Its fine to feel like she was childish blah blah but thats exactly what Aba was saying. People are very different and some women might be similar to this girl. Feeling extreme pressure to have sex happens alot to women and like this guy maybe the guy didn't think that he was even pressuring very much at all. But he did admit that she told him that she wasnt ready and wasn't comfortable then later they drank more and he tried again. Ge probably thought that she just needed a few minutes lol. The girl also admitted that she wasnt very comfortable with sexuality at that time. We have to see the world for what it is and how people are not the way that it should be. I never did this type of thing but when I was in college and a virgin guys were scary mysterious beings and I felt intimidated by forward sexuality so thats why Im saying that I can understand.
@@TheMariemarie16 blah blah blah" So no...you clearly are dismissing my point and don't thing It's fine at all. Screw all that "people are different" nonsensd. Mens lives can be destroyed because you felt pressured. My point is that she is an adult not a child. Idgaf about your or her "feelings". It's very important you ladies are able to say no and stick to it. Mixed signals like saying no but then kissing him and having sex is how you end up in these sticky situations and a sign of emotional immaturity. If the laws weren't molded to coddle yall like you were babies and not grown women you might have a point. But we're out here having rulings like, "both parties were blackout drunk but one lacked a penis and therefore can't consent. She wins the case!". It's a joke.
Don’t invite a guy over for drinks if you can’t be assertive with boundaries and standards. Don’t invite men over period unless they’re your boyfriend or other people will be there too. I’ve had guy friends, some 10+ years ask me if they could “come up and see my place” and I simply say no. A few have gotten offended because other women have said yes (and ended up having sex) but idgaf. I’m not them other insecure little girls. I’m a woman. I am not going to put myself in a potentially dangerous situation INSIDE my house. It’s my sanctuary and I protect myself and my home.🤷🏽♀️
majestic movement Either way, if they’re going through hard times like that then they definitely shouldn’t be hanging around guys cus they can sniff the “weakness” and desperation and they WILL prey on that. It’s really fcked up but we gotta teach young girls to have self awareness about how they’re feeling and where they are mentally and emotionally, and how to cope on these things on their OWN. No attention seeking behavior and running to guys for their pick me ups. Have a self-care night or girls night at home instead. A man has nothing to lose in these situations. In the end, they’re just going to have sex and then brag to their friends about how unstable the girl was and got some easy booty and hit it raw like this guy did smh.
Man...this was weird. I have been with my partner for nearly 13 years next month. We met in college and it was a very rapid path to being a couple. I was very clear with him that I liked him and wanted to date exclusively. He understood and made it official. Just tell people what you want!
Everybody is the hero of their own story. And it depends on how they feel inside too. And their ability to clarify what they want and not act on the countrary
Hooking up is not a result of adolescent thinking. Mature people do it all the time, although marriage and maturity make it so that there isn’t necessarily a “hookup culture.”
Elijah Gavin hmmmm wait ten years, then reevaluate your stance on hookup culture. As you get older, it becomes more obvious that mostly unsure, immature people embrace that lifestyle.
Elijah Gavin It really is not a sustainable lifestyle for most people, like at all. And if you take into account all of the possible negative outcomes you will come to realise it’s best to be in a relationship than hookup frequently. Doing it rarely isn’t too bad, but there’s definitely more risks than positives
@@funkrobot9762 or people that see absolutely no value in a commited relationship but yet have sexual needs! As you get older you realise that thoses that look down on hook up culture are the same people that can't get hook ups, simple jealousy or are stuck in an unhappy sexless relationship and hates his single friend because he can hook up with all the girls he wants, which again results in jealousy, which is far more immature than hook up culture.
You guys are as down to earth as I’ve ever seen anybody be. These are social issues no one feels like talking about. When we’re young, it feels weird asking your date or hookup how they feel in given moments, but it feels so much better when you have your feelings reinforced by your mate. Communicating more leads to a more solid relationship in and out of the bedroom. Great content guys, videos like this really fill a void.
Samuel McKenzie I said might because I’m not about to argue with anyone about whether or not he was. From the context he provided alone, yes he was raped. But he said he liked it and he might not think of it that way or feel that it’s that serious. Therefore, it’s not my place because it’s not up to me to confirm or deny that it was rape, it’s up to him.
@@Bri-gj6qe You do have a point tbf. Despite what we as outsiders think it's up to him to decide how he feels about the situation and how he reacts to it
To be honest it doesn't really matter how he feels about it. The fact is that the women started to have sex with him while he was unconscious and so he couldn't have possibly consented to it at the start. It was definitely rape
What’s so confusing about this is that some countries are culturally geared toward women “playing coy”. When I was in Brazil someone told me that If you stay no once, guys take it like they should try harder bc women play hard to get. If you actually mean no you have to be more agressive and rude about it. I think men and women should agree to stop playing these games of “not wanting to seem easy” on the girls part and guys having to chase/hunt/win. Bc it can cause a lot of miscommunication and it gives abusers who actually want to take advantage of someone plausible deniability.
This is bullshit. I am Brazilian, these girls were playing you. They don't play hard to get at all in here. In fact they don't respect you if you don't fuck them in the first date.
Killer D better mad than accusing you of sexual assault. Pick your battles. If she’s unsatisfied and expresses that or says it, then you know she’s into you, and you can have sex at another time.
@@guttergrl4982 You know negatively expressive women? As opposed to women who are just going to find another dude to ride? Laughable. Watch this video to see what women actually do, rather than what you would like them to do
This is why I call bs whenever I hear a woman say, "I'm really good at reading people." Nah, you're good at reading too much into things, making assumptions, and projecting.
latt.qcd92 I was playing a card game with some girl and she called my bluff and said something stupid about how she can always tell when I lie. I kept track of when she’d call my bluffs, she wasn’t even correct 50% of the time.
@@stephen5601 Yup, when people think they're good at reading others, it's usually because they're only keeping track of when they're right and forgetting or ignoring the times when they were wrong.
@Chidi Akara They're the same. However, since people tend to only pay attention to when they're right, if they're both always correct 1 in 10 and she guesses 100 times and he guesses 10 times, she'll think that he was only right once and she was right 10 times which creates the false perception that she's correct more frequently when, in fact, she's not.
As an actual victim of childhood molestation and college sexual assault, I wanted to punch this woman in the face. Is it now trendy or something to be a r*pe victim?!?! Because, I can tell anyone, it's not fun. AT ALL. She said she wanted to do it, then she slept over - sorry, this is buyer's remorse. Not assault.
That's why I believe in that saying, "there's THREE sides to every story. Your's, mine and the truth." No matter how good your intentions are, idt someone can truly 100% remember something. You can come close, and maybe remember the important details correctly, but not everything. Especially over time.
First date with my husband, he said, “just so you know, I like you and want to date you. If you want to just be friends I can be cool with that, but I’m interested in dating you.” I was 28 and so sick of dating men who couldn’t have the courage to just say, “I’m interested in you.” One of my friends at the time didn’t know if the guy she was going out with was them just hanging out as friends or if they were dating. I’ve always appreciated my husband’s courage and willingness to be honest. No guessing, no game. I told him I wanted it to be a date too & 20 years later I still like that he’s just him.
you were 28, you were sick of men not having the courage. so why didnt you step up? equality right? poor you. lmfao another woman making it about herself . why am i not surprised. you broads have to step it up stop waiting for a dude. but you ll never do that because then you re all traditional. hilarious bro
Interesting take on what I said, I didn’t really see it as complaining, more that I appreciated how my husband handled himself on our first date. I just appreciated his willingness to be brave. Since I’m more introverted in nature, I always appreciate when people have more courage than I do. Not bashing men (or maybe speaking out against those who play games instead of just communicating), just appreciated a guy who was courageous on a first date. I am pretty traditional, so you were right there.
Christian Brown it’s different if you guys are actually friends first or even acquaintances from an original group of friends imo. But if you two are essentially strangers then be upfront. Let me humble you real quick, you should turn around and tell that guy “I’d rather you take me out” you know if you’re actually interested and are an adult yourself. Not an ego driven child.
@@datguy9408 Your first date unless you have only one shot should always be cheap. Really dates should be something whoever Is paying wants to do and thinks is fun. I never cater to my dates on first dates. Other than dietary restrictions and physical afflictions (not taking a blind girl to a movie). It shows your interests and your expertise. Unless its something you've both never done and you want to explore together.
Finding a woman mature enough to understand the importance of constant honesty and communication is like looking for a needle in a haystack unfortunately, it's not even age related. I dated age 17-37 somehow the youngest was the most mature/communicative/confident
Ugh. These girls act like they have no agency. Sweetheart, if you don’t wanna have sex with someone; put some bass in your voice, look directly in his eyes, and tell him this is NOT happening. It’s truly not that hard.
It’s so true nowadays people don’t know how to communicate, there’s more ways people just don’t know how to speak up. Depression, obligated sex, abusive relationships etc
Still she remembers things to the clock. "I don't remember if we drank anything, but I especially don't remember what we drank when we drank it. I had no cognizance of the situation at hand, at all, but I know that it lasted ten minutes and had this and that". Lady, please.
Poor communication is such a huge issue. I will admit though, a lot of it lies in female passivity. Among me and my friends we'd often talk about how we feel *uncomfortable* actually voicing our real thoughts or intentions, especially when put into situations of action. (not just sexual, but any time we are put in a place where we need to make choices and act on them, or respond to someone's actions.) We don't want to come off as rude, and there's a real visceral fear in how the other person will react. We'd rather play emotional footsie than face the very real reality that someone is going to be upset, and that its probably going to be us in the end. Like, at first I didn't understand it, because like DUH you should be honest with your feelings, and prevent misunderstandings. Sometimes I'd actually be upset at my friends for being so...well...I thought it was just plain stupidity and cowardice. Then I was stalked for two years and sexually assualted, and guess what? Emotional Footsie time. I was so afraid of upsetting this guy who had hurt me, (not that I was afraid he'd hurt me again, or do anything) because I prioritized HIS emotions and well being over my own...but yet couldn't ignore or forget the very real hurt that was done to me. I can't explain why, I just did. I hated it, but couldn't bring myself to summon the strength to even TEXT him to leave me the F alone. Instead I validated him and his feelings, told him he had a chance, then internalized my own pain and self-hatred. Then, later on, in the next few relationships I found myself doing it again to avoid things like breakups, difficult discussions, etc. It led to each relationship eventually becoming toxic, (One ended and we became good friends, and the Other ended...and it was not good.) However in my most recent (and happiest) relationship, I've really really. really tried to be communicative, even though sometimes it means a beer and a good cry on the porch. Though I think a big part of why I'm better at communicating my feelings now is that I'm in a position of power in the relationship in that I'm the "experienced" one, and he's not. (same age) So while He's flying blind (poor guy) I can lean on and leverage old experiences to give me support and confidence. Of course this was especially helpful in the very beginning since we both were adamant about not forcing each other to do anything, and HAD to be communicative to make sure that both I, (someone who had just left a bad relationship) and He, (someone who had never even kissed a girl) were both ready to hit each cornerstone in the relationship. And be open with our feelings and any other issues to come along in our lives. And trust me. Communication is 100% why we are 4 years along, happy, stable, and so much healthier than any relationship I've had in the past (even the good ones). So yeah. The girl is definitely the wrong one in this regard because *she* consented to the action knowing that she wasn't ready, and didn't put a stop to the action. He may have put pressure on her by kissing, but in the video she only says that she wasn't okay with sex...not that she wasn't okay with him kissing her. So she could have totally said "Lets just stop here, with just some slight fooling around, no sex. Period". Instead she decided to consent anyway, and went through with it. Her vocal consent is the nail in the coffin of responsibility. Despite being in the wrong, I do sympathize with her position though. Been there, done that, felt awful, I relate. But it IS the responsibiltity of both parties to either consent or revoke consent, and she decided to consent.
Comments like this are why I enjoy scrolling through the comments section. It’s well written, informative, and sincere. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences
@@blah8934 Beta? No lol. He just wasn't interested in Dating. Hell I asked him out (coincidentally the summer before I was assualted) and he turned me down. He was honest anyway. He was like "I'm just not interested in dating, right now. But if we DID go out, we couldn't have sex." (this was about 10 years ago) Then he just walked away leaving me dumbfounded... and a little bit insulted. Slightly confused on whether it was a yes or no. *shrug* Lets just say he admits that a year later or so he wanted to kill his younger self for saying that. A lot of that was him being part of a fairly religious family, and he was considering going into the religious life, plus being irritated with all the stupid teenage dating drama that filled our collective friend group. Lets just say he doesn't view religion the same anymore, and adults *tend* to be more mature lol. I ended up asking him out again when I saw a different girl eyeing him up and realized I was not going to be happy if I didn't give it a second chance. Glad I did! To be Honest, He's the "dom" in that he does take charge in the relationship and makes decisions when I don't want to (Classic girlfriend delimma "what do you want to eat?") But I had the "teacher" role, in that I had experience (sexual and romantic) and he didn't. He's always been a close friend, and was one of the people who believed me when I told my guy friends what happened (many of my other guys friends thought I was faking it, until they talked to the dude himself. Whatever he told them convinced them that he did actually do it. So they ended up being my friends again.) Caring about someone's wellbeing, and their consent does not make them a beta. It makes them empathetic, especially when they know they're dealing with someone with unresolved trauma. Plus a lot of the back and forth was me not wanting to make him feel like he had to "perform" for me (because I was trying to be aware and sensitive to his lack of experience), and Him not wanting to become part of a statistic. After about a year or so (especially after we moved in together, we had settled into a nice smooth dynamic. I deal with his aunt (adoptive mom) and He kills spiders. :)
I read that a LOT from women, but when you do it, YOU are the problem... WHA?! Woman: I wanted s*x with you, didn't you get all the hints??? Guy: You only said you liked to be near me, and thought you weren't ready yet!! Woman: TSS, men with their big talks!! So... we gonna talk or f**k? If the latter, please at least talk to me by saying it! Glad not all women are that complicated.... too bad i never meet the smarter women XD
“In reality, they were operating in a different reality” that’s some powerful stuff. Interesting, I never thought it about that way but that it true. Our perception is our reality and we always perceive things differently.
This is also a thing that happens when girls call rape. When they both felt in the moment is completely different. But if she told police and he denied it would be another story about “ My rapist is walking around freely”.
I was in this situation before... Girl came into my house... We watched TV, Laughed, Kissed a little bit... She asked for the time because we were headed to another event in an hour.. She said "Oh we have time then" gets up and walks to the bathroom... After a few minutes I found out that she wasn't in the bathroom but took off her clothes and was laying down in my bed... I said "what are you doing in here?" as she pulled me onto the bed...3 months later she said that I "pressured her into having sex that night"... She went on to say I really really wanted to have sex with you! But It was too soon in the relationship. She didn't want to give me the wrong message.. But she couldn't control herself by how strongly I turned her on in a private setting... I was so confused!
That might be why I initiate most conversations because I AM communicative. Literally had a girl say, "I love that you asked me that." Before doing something with her. And she receptively told me she was glad we talked a lot about the things we did. Communication goes a long way. The issue I end up having is it not being reciprocated 100%. I'll be honest, I don't always want to lead things. Even though I've been seen by many a person as a Leader. But to me, I want to see a partner especially lead things and ask me things because it makes me feel better too. And maybe the issue is that I don't want to come off needy, so I don't communicate that. So yeah, even when you communicate well, you're still going to make mistakes and assume other people will just reciprocate/treat you the way you treat them. When I need to just communicate, "Hey, could you ask me if I'm comfortable with things and ask for consent more too? It'll make me feel better as a result." Because I already do it, I assume they will reciprocate, which isn't necessarily always true. I know I'm doing something right, or else they wouldn't initiate or be receptive to me sexually. And I'm super nervous about initiating without proper consent.
alagalag if you say “no” to a man, and instead of taking a step back he tries to initiate sex again in a matter of minutes, just leave. Even if in a certain instance you ended up changing your mind, a man not stopping when you say no is a red flag.
I don't mean to throw shade, but you have to be a kid to care about being held back a year. I'm a grown ass man, do you think I give a fuck that I was held back a year? Or if someone was held back a year? Hell no. That's some kid shit. There is a reason he said it so nonchalantly, shit isn't important.
sleeping with her didn't ruin their relationship. Her not being responsible for her own feelings and expressing them ruined their relationship. She was mad at him for not protecting her feeling when she didn't express them clearly. Men are not psychic, you need to say what you want from them or you will be disappointed! hell, you might get disappointed even if you tell them, but if you cannot express it, your chances are pretty slim. that's why men usually ask for what they want.
Sequoyah Hilderbrand haha, the youtube algorythm is scary, I literally had a similar experience not long ago. Except that it was with way more back and forth from her part. One day she is all lovey-dovey and the next she says she doesn’t know what she wants or feels. It’s maddening.
The title should’ve been “this is the problem with hookup culture.” Not everyone who date around have sex with people, but yeah I completely agree you guys on this issue. A lot of gray area needs to be addressed
People need to be honest and if the woman doesn't want to have sex just say it, end of story. Don't give mixed signals cuz that's what a lot of women do.
Yeah we don't really know what psychological conditions she may or may not have but I definitely agree saying "disassociate" has extreme ramifications and you can't just throw that around.
agreed. disassociation is a response to trauma. it's not when you're lying under some guy with whom you agreed to have sex and now you're second guessing your decision
Dissociate is the new depression. Everyone claims to do it but the reality is much darker than people give it credit for. Dissociation is “zoning out” (though thats also not accurate) under extreme stress for the mind to escape, usually caused by a pattern of trauma. For example, the sound of an abusive mother’s car may cause a child to dissociate, to escape the stress and trauma of whatever will happen once she enters that door. Dissociation is not caused by wishy washy consent.
They are getting intimate to feel something, at least that's what I feel. They are lonely or whatever and want to be told they are good enough and good looking and desirable.
One of the biggest peeves of me in a relationship is when my partner assumes. My last boyfriend always assumed and never asked, so when I would confront him about something and ask why did he do that, he would just say he assumed and acted accordingly. Despite many many times saying just ask or just tell me because subtlety has no place in the start of a relationship. Sadly, he just kept doing it and though I understand it can be hard to talk about some topics, i knew it was just not worth it to stick around if the trust wasn't there.
Number 1 Rule: If your partner is hesitant on having sex at all then you shouldn’t have sex. Most of the time it’s not because they don’t like you; it could be an embarrassing thing to be exposed. Just let it be and wait for it. Sex shouldn’t be the only way you can show love to someone.
GtfoTyvm Proof? People like you are always miserable when it comes to dating/relationships. Successful relationships and marriages aren’t built on sex. If you equate love with sex then you have an issue.
If your partner is hesitant on having sex cut them out of your life and ignore any future communications. They're not worth it. It's a yes or no question; if they answer maybe then it's time to go because they've just started playing games.
Interviewer: Were you two just friends or were you seeing each other? Male: It felt like were more than friends. Female: We were just friends. They see each in person. Interviewer:Were you two just friends or were you seeing each other? Female: I think we were seeing each other. Me: OMFG 😠😠😠
I had a similar experience, what I learned is never engage with a girl who has low self esteem, but has sexual desires but doesnt want to acknowledge it but wants affirmation but later regrets it and tries to blame it on the other person for not "reading" her signs even though she kept switching from YES and NO ten times and finally a YES during the night. Those people have the tendency to spread lies about that night to mask their act of desperation by gaslighting their sexual partner
If you don't want to sleep with someone don't get drunk alone at your house with them and start making out with them, set better boundaries and then you won't feel conflicted about stuff like this happening
This is victim blaming. Saying it's all her fault. No sympathy or compassion for her. He got her best and went on his way happy as could be about it and she got a load of conflicting emotions and might feel used.
@@ssunfish They’re both in the wrong. The fact that she said no and he didn’t take it as an automatic signal to stop is wrong on his part. And her saying that she doesn’t know how to voice her sexual desires is a red flag.
@@jenf836 Ok...but if she changes her mind and says she felt he assaulted her he's in real danger of losing the case. Now say he wins, his names on record hers is not. Being fired from his job and having trouble getting another is also likely due to the controversy. In no way...save not going to jail is he the winner in a situation like that.
Communication is the easy solution, but Society thrives on people not communicating effectively, but deeply romanticizes unrealistic automatic chemistry, so it makes everyone believe stuff should go his/her way without any effort
Communication is such a key element, I’m at the point where I’m able to do so, but back in the day my ex wouldn’t do that and broke up with me, because I didn’t get that she wanted to sleep with me. I think it is essential to talk about your emotions because its just letting the other person in on your feelings which gives a deeper sense of connection and bond.
Almost felt like she was putting off the whole "he took advantage of me" vibe which is bs. I've seen it before. If you both were there, drinking, in the moment, don't come off with that bs later. You went with it, that's on you. Everybody makes choices and has to be held accountable. If you regret it later then you do, but you chose to do it so blames on you as much as anyone. Really feel like dude dodged a crazy bullet by it ending without serious drama over that night, and also future drama. She's trouble
She hasn't accused him of rape because she knows she made a decision to 'go with it' despite her (unspoken) misgivings. He did take advantage of her inarticulacy and hopefully she'll learn to be a whole lot more assertive in future.
bukomafriq I seen this before with women but with less serious situations. In this case, she was being recorded. She didn’t want to be come off as a slut. So she said some key words with “idk what happened” tone. She said all this shit without a single concern for the other guy’s reputation. She’s a child
Reanimated Jesus he should’ve dipped at the first instance of shakiness on her part but as guys it’s not the first time we’ve had girls move that way but in their heads wants you to pursue and when you don’t you get labeled a chump. That’s what gets most guys in trouble they want to be respected sexually but when a woman is not clear it is honestly best to just avoid her.
This is a great example of why emotional maturity and intellectual honesty is so important. It allows us to call out the red flags in real time, instead of the replay.
Guy: "It totally makes sense when you explain the whole thing." Dang, look at that, communicating what you want or don't want actually works! Life hacks, amirite?
efficient communicating should be a topic in schools. It's astonishing how many people I've met who just can't form a coherent sentence to describe their feelings or what they really want to express, without that embellished wishy washy bla bla. Just get to the point damn it! :D
fact: when you are remembering something, you remember it from the last time you remembered it, not from the memory of what actually happened. so it’s naturally altered 🤷🏻♀️
Iunno, this video was just weird. I feel like hearing in depth details of peoples sexual experiences ALWAYS sounds awkward and more creepy then it really was but maybe we're wrong. What do yall think? You think the guy was in the wrong, the girl? Or both. Comment!
Both of them were stupid, and lacked the ability to communicate their feelings.
It waas just blantantly uncomfortable, The stories were not aligning and he seemed nervous around her.
Both of them messed up, crazy how some people can get so far along in life without learning to communicate, especially when it comes to something as intimate as sex
Bro is your arm ok?
It was hard to watch, but honestly I'm just glad to be watching yawl again. My world on this day is whole again. Sending you all the healing positive loving energy your way that I can gather.
Also they're probably both trying to tell the story in a way that makes them look as good as possible.
How does anything that she said makes her look good? She was back and forth on wanting it and clearly too drunk to remember anything. That entire video clip was sad and could have ended badly for the both of them.
@@kennethcole8360 simp
@@soulessmf4467 are you saying that I am a simp?
@@soulessmf4467 Nothing he said even remotely indicates that he's a "simp" so stfu
Krunchy_Kush69 now you’re a simp
She wasn’t sure about a lot, but she was sure he “lasted ten minutes” lmao
For someone that didn't remember much she remembered every single thing that he did.
weird... I thought she dissociated! How do you keep track of time so well when you're dissociating?
Prob thats why she was mad lol
@@hangukhiphop wouldn't it be easier to keep track as you're not actively engaged but observing?
@@Kazperian Ten minutes is like 3 times the average length of sex, he probably did not even last that long
Over the course of my life, I've dated a few women that broke it off with me because I didn't initiate sex when I misread the situation and felt they were being hesitant and so I backed off. I felt I was being respectful. Later on, and after talking with female friends about the situations I experienced, I understood that these women wanted to be chased, wanted me to be aggressive, they wanted the feeling that their sexuality was so overwhelming that I couldn't control myself and had to smash her. That's a dangerous game. I don't regret missing those opportunities because now I see it as the women that behaved like this were escaping accountability. If they liked it then they would've pursued a relationship, if they didn't, they could say, "well, he forced himself on me". Don't play or risk getting played.
And also it doesn’t make them look like a 304 aka “hoe” if they initiated it the sex. That’s how some women are.
Amen
Honestly women need to act like adults. If you don't want to have sex say so
Yeah its all about desirability. They want to feel that they are so desirable that you couldnt resist. Unfortunately theres two sides to every coin.
you immediatly know how a girl wants to be treated. if shes interested or not. if you can read that your always good to go
A man saying he would like to have sex and then you just going along with it isn't the same as being pressured into having sex. Men aren't mind readers. Bad sex isn't the same as sexual assault.
you don't know my uncle
🤣just playin. and well said.✌
A lack of responsibility for own actions and body. If I regret something I blame it on myself. Not the other.
Poor Aziz
@@DanishCamp are you a woman?
Yah, I feel like it was kind of a trap situation, if she didn't want sex she shouldn't have been at her house with no place to go back to (its not as big a deal to retreat back to your house, but it feels worse to kick someone out) She was unsure but she liked the guy, she should have just been honest and said she was unsure and wanted towait. When women start making out with men they make it almost impossible to step back/stop especially with alcohol involved everything gets rolling, and men's self control starts to slip away. It is better to be sober and aware, and communicate about this stuff, better to wait for a better time in the future than create a negative or unpleasant experience because of rushing into something.
Teach your kids this - if you’re not comfortable enough to clearly say no to someone then you’re not mature enough yet to have sex.
The problem is that a lot of men retaliate when women turn them down. It can get ugly. I refused to sleep with a co-worker and he started telling black people I was racist and turned everyone against me that he could.
That's a major reason women try to be careful in how and when they let a guy down. They don't want to create a new enemy.
@@anarcho-communist11 He's a POS for doing that to you
hammypie I never even thought of it that way, but that's really how it should be.
@@deathrager2404 what are you on? Stop being so hateful and insensitive.
@@anarcho-communist11 still say no. Would you rather allow access to your body to someone you don't feel comfortable with or them talk nonsense because you refused them? Because even if you allow them they can and most likely will still talk nonsense, at some point sooner or later you will have to put your foot down and say no which they can try to mess you up anyway. So ladies say no if you are uncomfortable or unsure. Gentleman if a woman is unsure, back away. No means no, and maybe means no when it comes to things such as sex. Unless someone says yes and is in a state to consent, then one should not proceed with sex. Do not allow someone to have access to your body who you don't want to. And I'm sorry that that happened to you.
The fact that she said she doesn’t know how to communicate her sexual desires RED FLAG RED FLAG RED FLAG
This
He lucky he not on rikcers island for "sexual assault"
Agreed!!!
Got that right. You don't touch her if she's confused cause that's a good way to get arrested
Truth. She’s not a woman yet, in terms of her sexuality. She’s handling sexuality using a childish state of mind.
This is not dating, you can date and not have sex, this is a hookup.
@Northern USA yep. Destructive to society.
Yep but after dating lots of women. Most of them just want sex but you women go through dates to seem innocent and not easy when in actuality you just want sex too. This is why I never fall for the virgin shit
TrollPriestZandum W E L I V E I N A S O C I E T Y
@@12Messenger oh they want the free meals too. Sex is currency for women. The oldest profession of the world threatens the oldest cartel of the world.
@@12Messenger 👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿
I honestly I think the problem with dating and relationships nowadays is four things
1. Instant Gratification
2. Lack of communication
3. Always another option out there
4. Me me me me me
In my experiences I feel like these are the most problems I hear with dating and relationships because hearing them from another female these are the four areas where most of the problems for them in relationship/dating and why I believe people are becoming more to themselves nowadays and don't really care about having someone with them
True 👌
I agree
Tell it!
I would also add that people who get with a person sexually may think they have a relationship. Just because we have sex doesn't mean I want to be with you beyond that. But we have women inculcated on this notion that they should be like men and just have sex with anyone and everyone, and it doesn't work like that, ever.
ChaosoneX Honestly with just have sex just to have sex that brings a whole different slew of problems to both parties. Unless( and this is a really big unless) they both have agreed and said that this is just FWB then maybe but even in that they could be lying to themselves and sex will always create feelings no matter what. Honestly the whole FWB is a really bad situation because it just creates more hurt people hurt people situations and humans really don’t have the capacity to do that without some attachment
Whenever a woman shows signs of hesitation or on the fence, just leave.
Exactly. At least stop and don't push it further, let her do it to be sure.
Facts
And then you'll be the guy for whom she'll say "he doesn't know what to do and not persistent enough "
@@rohan9095 legit but it’s better then the alternative “he seduced me and forced himself onto me”
Best idea 💡 just leave even if she comes after you because that might be her trying to do what ever to keep you.
This... is not dating.
This is the manifestation of inexperience combined with indecision and insecurity. On both sides.
Both sides?
@@JohnSmith-lo3lc Yes. 100%. Both.
Yes, agreed, but these aren't children 's age - do humans have a problem.
@ree because sex was basically programmed into every ones brains back in the 90s and early 2000s...Now in 2020 theyre programming drug addicts. (lean, pills,)
He's lucky he didn't get accused of anything.
For real and this shows how easy it is for them to ruin your life. Bitch called him in the morning assassinating his character and calling him names he’s lucky she didn’t assassinate his entre life.
@shy boy username checks out
and yet he is too dumb to recognize that.
Also she’s says she barely remember anything because she supposedly disassociates.Herself while having sex mind she also says she was drunk as a skunk. Honestly the most fucked up part of the story is that she knows for a fact it lasted minutes don’t let her little “ehh i guess 10 minutes” fool you. I believe she wasn’t black out drunk disassociated herself she was counting the seconds herself. The only time she actually disassociated herself was when she called the dude in the morning literally staying things that either did or did not happen. She hung up feeling like fucking god and easily went on with her life like nothing happened he hung replaying the events of that night over and a over again for quite awhile I bet.
She literally said that she wanted to have sex.
Sounds like she's describing an assault and he's describing a hook up ... geez that was a weird video.
Bro she must’ve been really fuckin drunk
exactly, it was hard to watch
Sometimes girls just try to play the victim lmao. Even though that might sound wrong it’s the sad reality that fucks up people’s lives.
to me it looked like she was trying to play the victim just because she regrets it tbh
@@DelRae probably not. She just regreted it after and tried to blame it all on him
“We’re all bad in someone else’s story”
Inebriatd What so now the guy was supposed to be a mind reader? She didn’t say anything. She also didn’t take any responsibility whatsoever, and that is really frustrating.
@@ВаляНот Omg all you people are the same. She clearly told him the 1st time they kissed she was not comfortable, how do you miss that? This whole comment section is full of degenerates who dont listen and just join all case that show a girl having and uncomfortable experience with a guy as "he going to get charged". At no point did she accuse him of anything as there is nothing to accuse him of! If thats the case then most freaking men on this dying planet would be in fucking prison right now!
Kawaii Pandas What do you mean with “you people”? Also, truth always lies in between, so both of them did wrong.
@@ВаляНот Clearly i am referring to every spaz on here making it something that it obviously is not. Dont be a fool tryna ask me some dumb question omg. And exactly, so why ya'll straight jumping to the lengths you are astonishes me. Stop reading so deep into it, its just mistakes done by 2 people.
Kawaii Pandas Chairaggione champ
I’m glad y’all back like y’all never left
Ikr!🙌🏿
All two?
Hell ya
Yee
Bro how did you write this comment 2 hours ago if the video was released 1 hour ago????
This is why men are so afraid of false allegations.Situations r like this happen so much
you do realize that this particular man did not listen to her when she said "she wasn't sure if she wanted to do it" and that when he didn't want to wear a condom, it was his choice and not theirs to have UNSAFE sex? these aren't false allegations. just bc it wasn't rape doesn't mean he did everything right.
@@DarkPaleUnicorn Now where in my comment did I say he did everything right. It's down both as Aba said both having skewed ideas of what happened and putting alcohol into the mix? Makes everything a whole lot more complicated.Especially if you're already anxious, alcohol is a stimulant and will make it worse. Think. It's communication needed on both parts because as helpful as non verbal cues are for courting and sex people need to verbalize. Otherwise they may end up angry at the other person because they themselves did not communicate properly.And from what I see both stories aren't 100% true. I mean she can remember certain difficult things like the length of time but not whether or not they drank? Also I believe the guy took his responsibility of what happened but she decided not to and took the victim route.
@@TanLFC7 FOR M. man have to do everything and play the parent role, what he does not thing of how he is degrading women with that putting them on the same place as kids.
If all responsibility is on man how can we even talk about a strong women.
@@coffee7180 I can agree with most of that. Responsibility to communicate properly and clearly needs to be taken.
@@DarkPaleUnicorn If you're gonna go that route, then its her fault too that she didn't correctly communicate what she wanted.
My wife is talking about putting in braids. I reminded her that she did this once before about 10 years ago and she hated it so much she took them out 2 days later. She denied that ever happened for a week until I found a photo.
That's women in a nutshell. They can bring up something you did 10 years back, but they can't remember their own poor decisions.
Can we get a special where Preach gives DATING TIPS? He's been with his beloved partner for 21 years. Dude must have so much Knowledge
He just found the right one early
@@justadummy8076 nah. Relationships are a lot more work than "finding the right one"
Or
He doesn't have diversified experience and so ISN'T qualified
Wait how old is he then ??
He's not gonna have dating tips since hes not dating lol You can get relationship advice from him tho
This girl went from saying "it was a one night stand" in the beginning, and that she ghosted him after. To telling him she thought they were dating...
The games women play
Some serious mental gymnastics are required to construct a world in which you're always the victim.
Post Nut clarity in its finest.
there are many women that will just say whatever is more convenient at the moment. Always pay attention to what they ARENT saying and always call them out on their bs. And dont let them change the subject every time you have a 'gotcha!' moment.
Dude, this bitch has 9 different versions of what happened in her fucking head.
1. The story she tells herself.
2. The story she tells her friends.
3. The story she tells her mom.
4. The story she tells her BEST friend.
5. The story she tells him.
6. The story she tells her crush who saw them hanging out.
7. The story she tells her random family member who asks when she's getting married.
8. The story she tells her therapist.
9. The story she'll tell the police should he ghost her ass and she gets all butthurt over it.
Been single since 2011, never been happier. Modern women ruined meaningful relationships.
Her communication is on the level of a 3 year old. She does not need to be in a relationship or having sex with anyone until she works on herself and fixes her issues. Someone is going to end up in jail for sure.
And it most likely won't be her
911skydiver you’re right .. kids are smarter
Well part of it is she probably handnt had to many interactions in that way... I mean she let some guy who she wasnt with nut in her and only remember he lasted 10 minutes. Thats all u need to know about her levels lol
@@gravy7103 I've heard some people say that women mature faster, but they stop maturing quicker than men. Now, whether that is true or incel bullshit, I do not know
This is why some guys go for older women. We ain't marrying them but we know we can have fun with them without legal trouble.
Oh my.. She is the kind of girl my mom warns me about. She said it was a one night stand, they were in her home and couldnt lay down the law, didnt say stop when she started to feel uncomfortable to the point of disassociating, and then said she thought they were together.. Your verbal and nonverbal communication need to line up
Aba: "I was raped"
...
"Moving on"
(Paraphrasing)
"it was awesome 😁"
Those stories happen more often then we realize, I know a guy with an ex who used to fuck him while asleep/unconscious all the time
I presume there is more context that would make things a little more clear-cut in the scenario, like maybe he said he liked morning wood sex or something of the like.
That being said, the reaction is kind of comes off in the same tone as the episode from South Park that dealt with student teacher relationships, with the police officers going "nice."
Yes but he consented when he realized was happening so ayyyy blurred lines.
@@matthewcooper4248 still rape tho
Dude could’ve really caught a case. “Hesitation” & “convincing” could become coercion & forced real quick, leave leave leave!!!
Take me as an example. Girl called the cops on me after I tried to kiss her and I quote "because if I didnt say no you wouldve kept kissing me which i dont want and that's rape" stay safe kings
Facts
Emperor made me not care about female rape victims until proven true
@@cjthagod5431 How did she even know that tho? She just assumed that's what you'd do which is what gets me.
Exactly
One minute it’s “I don’t wanna sleep with you” the next it’s “I wanna sleep with you now”. Fellas if the woman you’re dealing with is this indecisive with how she communicates her intentions with you save ur time & effort and leave her be it AINT worth it. He’s lucky he didn’t get accused of sexual assault cause we all know it would be “guilty until proven innocent”.
Yup, I completely agree. As a woman myself I know how to use my words and my vocabulary. Personally I don't think anyone should have sex under the influence and this video is already enough Evidence as to why. Men if a woman is unsure about sex I suggest you just leave, You may be disappointed but at least you walk away a free man.
You know people can change their mind right?
Exactly. If she says she's not sure and seems to be leaning toward no, don't do it. If five minutes later she's saying yes, DEFINITELY do NOT do it. Someone with that kind of mentality, drunk or not, is not someone you want to take the chance with.
@@akaylab.134 Yes, and at the same time we need to teach women to be clear about their intent. Yes if a woman isn't sure don't take the chance but also if a woman isn't sure she needs to just say no.
Erika yeah I know but that’s too risky the minute a woman denies my sexual advances I’m not gonna continue my pursuit even if she changes her mind after. If her intentions arent clear then it’s a no. “Better to be safe than sorry”
When I was in my early 20s, I was very wild, and was working through a lot of issues. I can't say the number of times that I felt the way this girl had, but never did I feel it was the man's fault. I was young, insecure, usually very drunk, and I went through with things I didn't want to bc I didn't have the maturity to speak out beforehand. Communication is absolutely the key here, Aba nailed it. Women, if you're unable to speak about such things, then that is prob a sign that you shouldn't be having sex.
It’s a sign you have unhealed trauma and are probably using sex to fill a lot of unmet needs you have ❤
When being direct kills passion and being indirect kills passion we are left with this Schrodinger's cat of confusion that makes the whole endeavour too risky to undertake. That's just may take.
@@iguardproperties4781 try being a direct guy with average looks. I wanna say average even though I think more highly of myself my results would disagree. Anyways my point is from my experience it's different.
Pretty much relatable
💯
Mmm i think being direct in a certain way can make things more spicy
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
“You didn’t remember i was passed out inside you”
- preaches concerned face is amazing 😂
Dats reyp
Yup Raip
Confesses abuse and it's just not a big deal cause he's a man... Sad times tho
😂🤣
Had the same experience in college……we cuddled up and fell asleep after a long night of partying….next thing I know I wake up to her stroking me and I just went through with it. SMH us men are so easy.
Preach's mom : You ain't get left back... you were doing extra credit for a year
😂😂😂😂
😂💀💀
🤣🤣
Exactly 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
@@samantarizzi248 hey Sam
EXACTLY! So when women asks “what are we” it’s so there’s not mis-understanding!!! Like some will be happy doing casual, dating or some just friends. So important to communicate it!!
I feel like dating would be a thousand times easier if everyone just talked to each other and LISTENED to what they’re saying.
Half the time, people only wanna talk. The other half, people hear but dont listen. It's amazing the lengths people go to to NOT listen.
this... is absolutely true. if people talked, in the most honest way. and listened with the intent to understand.
Well yeah but that's a hard state to reach, so in a way it wouldn't be easier
That would make sense, as such it won’t happen
"I really don't remember"
"We had vodka."
Oh, that's why. 😅
Why do you look like you just came out of Life is Strange
Yup chloe.. Once Drinks are involved.. Clear or dark liquor.. They'll only remember b4 they drink and rarely after they smashed lol
Drunk sex is never a good idea
@Hunter Hall I've been drunk and have forgotten parts of my night but not the entire night. Though I don't have sex drunk so I don't know how that is.
We all up at 3 am watching this😳
Yep
Cali, 12
ariana cotton - Same
Munich, 9 am LOL
We have a sweep of people, I'm mid west 2am
Her: I thought we were in a relationship but it offended me that he kissed me. I routinely slept over at his place and never had physical contact with him but I still feel weird that he only saw us as friends.
Um what?
This fucking generation I swear
Such a crazy moment when she first said she saw them as friends when asked in private THEN said she thought they were seeing each other when they were together
That was when I knew she was full of it
But she didn't, he said that not her
@@SeanK1684 Just another example of memories being flawed
Koralreefcarbon no, it’s an example that she is psycho
That's why I for myself prefer an old fashioned relationship. Being friends, starting clearly dating and marrying.
I respect everyones choice to live their own way.
But for me I personally don't want those possible complicated situations where you are uncertain what your exact relationship is.
I'm stupid so I want it super simple.
Hylia you’re not stupid for wanting a straightforward, no time wasted path to what you want. I’m the same damned way because I know what I want. You do too. No little childish games.
That's normal. And very energy-saving.
That is not the old fashioned way. Very few people started of as friends arranged marriages or love marriage which a man would ask a woman out for a date with the intention that he wanted to marry her. No one was asking women for being friends and the date and then marriage???
@@JT-bt6jy you are actually correct lol. Let me rephrase "the not so old fashioned old fashioned way"
"The Medium old fashioned way"
What if you dont have any friends, I have tried for multiple years to find a group of likeminded people that I relate with but I fail to do so.
"I don't know how comunicate my sexual desires" - RUN AWAY BROTHER, RUN AWAY, that's a lawsuit RIGHT THERE
Nah, just don't have sex with her for a long while till after weeks of talking about it and setting ground rules.
it's strange how things flipped:
-in her eyes they were dating but she was unsure about having sex
-in his eyes they were just friends but he was willing to have sex
---
-after having sex SHE no longer wanted to be with him
-after having sex HE wanted to move forward and was sad that she cut him off
oof
Oof I can relate 💔
Stupid & Immature gonna do Stupid and Immature ^^
Sucks how he had interest in going farther only after she gave him great sex. Did he actually like her or was it the puss he wanted more of on a consistent basis?
Terrible communication.
That girl was filled with emotional immaturity. That could have quickly turned worse for the guy than it did. She worded it as if he had forced her to go with it which, by the way, is definitely not the case!
How was he any better? He was immature/dumb enough to not want to use a common during a one night stand. This is why stds are so common.
@@colorfulcodes but his immaturity wouldn't have led to a case being caught...
@@Sketch3233 And his immaturity would have led to a pregnancy with a woman he wasn't dating leading to the contributing single motherhood problem. It's worse bringing an innocent child into this world than a few years in prison which this case most likely wouldn't have as the majority of rape cases brought to court do not end up in a conviction at all. Very few do and less than 10% are even reported to begin with.
That's how Me too happens. She says "no" once, take the L and abort mission.
@n cw What the fuck does that have do with this comment?
@@matthewcooper4248 Lmao
@Harley oh stfu. Where is this comment on Riley Reid literally happily confessing to raping a boy who said no
@@axp3731 Goteem
Why isn’t anyone talking about the fact that Aba got raped 😭
Literally what I was thinking!!!
The way Preach was looking at him. 😕
@@haileyt857 definitely victim shaming lol
@@LanarkLarry I thought that was a look of "Are you serious?"
However, What kind of "Are you serious?", was it? Was it the look of a concerned friend, shocked that he wasn't told sooner? Or was he victim shaming his friend for complaining about having sex? It all would have come down to what he said next. But they dropped the topic before he opened his mouth.
@@andrewadami3920 maybe they spoke about it after words in private.
2 people desperately try to control a narrative for public consumption and pretend memory loss 👌
Correct 👌😂😂😂
That’s the more likely circumstance
Yeah, I stop immediately if I think she's not into it. It's not worth the risk, get a clear yes.
Could be the case, may not be. If you don’t know or aren’t in a situation its a bit condescending to assume peoples personal motives.
😂
I'm confused she said she thought they were together but when they got intimate she felt uncomfortable and it ruined their friendship?
She wasn't ready yet. She did it for fear of losing a great guy. She felt pressured to continue. Her signals were weak at best so he did not notice.
When she said that she " disassociated " she means that while it was happening she shut her mind and tried to bear it by blocking what was happening like giving yourself over to the terrible experience. So the next day she felt sick about it and cut him off.
I do not agree with her communication but I understand.
they were never friends, he wanted to smash from the very beginning
@@TheMariemarie16 I don't. She was so disassociated she remembered he didn't last that long. Yup her mind was shut down right.
I don't subscribe to the felt pressured thing either. Due to the serious nature of these things, she needs to properly communicate like an adult. Anything less is emotional immaturity with an extreme lack of accountability.
This stuff ain't nothing to play with anymore. It can turn into a false allegation real quick.
@@ThatGuy-en2nn Its fine to feel like she was childish blah blah but thats exactly what Aba was saying. People are very different and some women might be similar to this girl. Feeling extreme pressure to have sex happens alot to women and like this guy maybe the guy didn't think that he was even pressuring very much at all.
But he did admit that she told him that she wasnt ready and wasn't comfortable then later they drank more and he tried again. Ge probably thought that she just needed a few minutes lol.
The girl also admitted that she wasnt very comfortable with sexuality at that time.
We have to see the world for what it is and how people are not the way that it should be.
I never did this type of thing but when I was in college and a virgin guys were scary mysterious beings and I felt intimidated by forward sexuality so thats why Im saying that I can understand.
@@TheMariemarie16 blah blah blah"
So no...you clearly are dismissing my point and don't thing It's fine at all. Screw all that "people are different" nonsensd. Mens lives can be destroyed because you felt pressured. My point is that she is an adult not a child. Idgaf about your or her "feelings". It's very important you ladies are able to say no and stick to it. Mixed signals like saying no but then kissing him and having sex is how you end up in these sticky situations and a sign of emotional immaturity. If the laws weren't molded to coddle yall like you were babies and not grown women you might have a point.
But we're out here having rulings like, "both parties were blackout drunk but one lacked a penis and therefore can't consent. She wins the case!". It's a joke.
Don’t invite a guy over for drinks if you can’t be assertive with boundaries and standards. Don’t invite men over period unless they’re your boyfriend or other people will be there too. I’ve had guy friends, some 10+ years ask me if they could “come up and see my place” and I simply say no. A few have gotten offended because other women have said yes (and ended up having sex) but idgaf. I’m not them other insecure little girls. I’m a woman. I am not going to put myself in a potentially dangerous situation INSIDE my house. It’s my sanctuary and I protect myself and my home.🤷🏽♀️
Yaas girl! I would do the same thing.
Periodt
majestic movement Either way, if they’re going through hard times like that then they definitely shouldn’t be hanging around guys cus they can sniff the “weakness” and desperation and they WILL prey on that. It’s really fcked up but we gotta teach young girls to have self awareness about how they’re feeling and where they are mentally and emotionally, and how to cope on these things on their OWN. No attention seeking behavior and running to guys for their pick me ups. Have a self-care night or girls night at home instead. A man has nothing to lose in these situations. In the end, they’re just going to have sex and then brag to their friends about how unstable the girl was and got some easy booty and hit it raw like this guy did smh.
10+ years and you can't even trust these men not to _endanger_ you? My dear, you are hanging out with the wrong men.
@@magnolia2 using weakness and praying on it... That goes both ways, I've seen it myself enough. I think this somewhat applies to both men and women
Man...this was weird. I have been with my partner for nearly 13 years next month. We met in college and it was a very rapid path to being a couple. I was very clear with him that I liked him and wanted to date exclusively. He understood and made it official. Just tell people what you want!
Everybody is the hero of their own story. And it depends on how they feel inside too. And their ability to clarify what they want and not act on the countrary
Nah, sometimes I think I'm the villain
@@jokerkenny1801 the fact that you felt compelled to pipe in and be different lol
@@360.Tapestry Looks like we ride the same boat :)
@@jokerkenny1801 i'm the captain now
@@360.Tapestry psh you can be co-captain
Hooking up is "cool", but most cool things are overrated. It's a result of adolescent thinking, and as a result usually leads to adolescent outcomes.
Hooking up is not a result of adolescent thinking. Mature people do it all the time, although marriage and maturity make it so that there isn’t necessarily a “hookup culture.”
Elijah Gavin hmmmm wait ten years, then reevaluate your stance on hookup culture. As you get older, it becomes more obvious that mostly unsure, immature people embrace that lifestyle.
Elijah Gavin It really is not a sustainable lifestyle for most people, like at all. And if you take into account all of the possible negative outcomes you will come to realise it’s best to be in a relationship than hookup frequently. Doing it rarely isn’t too bad, but there’s definitely more risks than positives
It can lead to rape charges and prison time. Sometimes you have to Pass on that ass
@@funkrobot9762 or people that see absolutely no value in a commited relationship but yet have sexual needs! As you get older you realise that thoses that look down on hook up culture are the same people that can't get hook ups, simple jealousy or are stuck in an unhappy sexless relationship and hates his single friend because he can hook up with all the girls he wants, which again results in jealousy, which is far more immature than hook up culture.
Not gonna lie, Preach looks like a gator when he's quiet.
he does!!!... he should just sit there with his mouth open.. en embody the gator fully
💀
preach is a gator and aba is a meerkat 😂
@@cahierdepluie9590 OMG, this is so accurate! LOL
Lol. You have a good eye!
You guys are as down to earth as I’ve ever seen anybody be. These are social issues no one feels like talking about. When we’re young, it feels weird asking your date or hookup how they feel in given moments, but it feels so much better when you have your feelings reinforced by your mate. Communicating more leads to a more solid relationship in and out of the bedroom. Great content guys, videos like this really fill a void.
Preach’s face whenever he realizes that Aba might have been raped 😂😂
Might? nah he was passed out and she slipped it in. It worked out well for her since he enjoyed it but what if he didn't like it?
Samuel McKenzie I said might because I’m not about to argue with anyone about whether or not he was. From the context he provided alone, yes he was raped. But he said he liked it and he might not think of it that way or feel that it’s that serious. Therefore, it’s not my place because it’s not up to me to confirm or deny that it was rape, it’s up to him.
@@Bri-gj6qe You do have a point tbf. Despite what we as outsiders think it's up to him to decide how he feels about the situation and how he reacts to it
To be honest it doesn't really matter how he feels about it. The fact is that the women started to have sex with him while he was unconscious and so he couldn't have possibly consented to it at the start. It was definitely rape
mY lEfT sTrOkE jUsT wEnT vIrAl I said what I said lmao not going to argue with you.
5:53 Preach looked so concerned for you. He was looking at you like you were telling him your metoo story lol
Edit ur sentence again please
@@rodplays3726 Lol its late and I didn't even realize I typed it out like that
@@timothyswindell4833 ah damn now I want to know what you originally said🤣
Factsss lol
🤣🤣🤣
What’s so confusing about this is that some countries are culturally geared toward women “playing coy”. When I was in Brazil someone told me that If you stay no once, guys take it like they should try harder bc women play hard to get. If you actually mean no you have to be more agressive and rude about it. I think men and women should agree to stop playing these games of “not wanting to seem easy” on the girls part and guys having to chase/hunt/win. Bc it can cause a lot of miscommunication and it gives abusers who actually want to take advantage of someone plausible deniability.
Yes!! Say it louder for the people at the back
I'll drink to that
This is bullshit. I am Brazilian, these girls were playing you. They don't play hard to get at all in here. In fact they don't respect you if you don't fuck them in the first date.
I know you are trying to be on the guy's side, but he's out here trying to not wear a condom for what he believes is a hookup. that's just risky.
Yeah, risky and dumb. But not assault, and not the real problem here.
It is if the guy sneaks off the condoms without the woman knowing. You ever heard of STDs and pregnancy right?
Conclusion: the girl needs to be more clear and assertive, the guy needs to back off at the first no
How do u have a one night stand with a friend or someone you are dating. That girl is a whole lie
Yes
Yeah but then the girl gets mad when you’re not assertive enough
Killer D better mad than accusing you of sexual assault. Pick your battles. If she’s unsatisfied and expresses that or says it, then you know she’s into you, and you can have sex at another time.
@@guttergrl4982 You know negatively expressive women? As opposed to women who are just going to find another dude to ride? Laughable. Watch this video to see what women actually do, rather than what you would like them to do
This is why I call bs whenever I hear a woman say, "I'm really good at reading people." Nah, you're good at reading too much into things, making assumptions, and projecting.
💪🏾💪🏾💪🏾💪🏾 facts
latt.qcd92 I was playing a card game with some girl and she called my bluff and said something stupid about how she can always tell when I lie. I kept track of when she’d call my bluffs, she wasn’t even correct 50% of the time.
@@stephen5601 Yup, when people think they're good at reading others, it's usually because they're only keeping track of when they're right and forgetting or ignoring the times when they were wrong.
@Chidi Akara They're the same. However, since people tend to only pay attention to when they're right, if they're both always correct 1 in 10 and she guesses 100 times and he guesses 10 times, she'll think that he was only right once and she was right 10 times which creates the false perception that she's correct more frequently when, in fact, she's not.
As an actual victim of childhood molestation and college sexual assault, I wanted to punch this woman in the face. Is it now trendy or something to be a r*pe victim?!?! Because, I can tell anyone, it's not fun. AT ALL. She said she wanted to do it, then she slept over - sorry, this is buyer's remorse. Not assault.
That’s why there’s 3 versions of any situation, yours, mine, and the truth.
Who's gonna tell the truth tho?
@@alexandremendes5491 steve, just find guy named steve and he will tell it to you
That's why I believe in that saying, "there's THREE sides to every story. Your's, mine and the truth." No matter how good your intentions are, idt someone can truly 100% remember something. You can come close, and maybe remember the important details correctly, but not everything. Especially over time.
First date with my husband, he said, “just so you know, I like you and want to date you. If you want to just be friends I can be cool with that, but I’m interested in dating you.” I was 28 and so sick of dating men who couldn’t have the courage to just say, “I’m interested in you.” One
of my friends at the time didn’t know if the guy she was going out with was them just hanging out as friends or if they were dating. I’ve always appreciated my husband’s courage and willingness to be honest. No guessing, no game. I told him I wanted it to be a date too & 20 years later I still like that he’s just him.
you were 28, you were sick of men not having the courage. so why didnt you step up? equality right? poor you. lmfao another woman making it about herself . why am i not surprised. you broads have to step it up stop waiting for a dude. but you ll never do that because then you re all traditional. hilarious bro
Interesting take on what I said, I didn’t really see it as complaining, more that I appreciated how my husband handled himself on our first date. I just appreciated his willingness to be brave. Since I’m more introverted in nature, I always appreciate when people have more courage than I do. Not bashing men (or maybe speaking out against those who play games instead of just communicating), just appreciated a guy who was courageous on a first date. I am pretty traditional, so you were right there.
@@ladybug3700 "I was sick of it" ---> "I didnt see it as complaining"
Womens manipulation at its finest lol
@@DenerWitt what's even the point of ur comments? She was just commenting her experience :v
@@alexc.7035 Whats the point of life if not interacting with each other and the environment
We need to go back to “hey I’d love to take you out” instead of this chillin nonsense. It just isn’t working
Exactly. I turn down guys instantly when they ask if I want to “hang out” or “chill”. Um how about no 🙄
Christian Brown it’s different if you guys are actually friends first or even acquaintances from an original group of friends imo. But if you two are essentially strangers then be upfront.
Let me humble you real quick, you should turn around and tell that guy “I’d rather you take me out” you know if you’re actually interested and are an adult yourself. Not an ego driven child.
Absolutely
Even at that keep the dates cheap.
@@datguy9408 Your first date unless you have only one shot should always be cheap. Really dates should be something whoever Is paying wants to do and thinks is fun. I never cater to my dates on first dates. Other than dietary restrictions and physical afflictions (not taking a blind girl to a movie).
It shows your interests and your expertise. Unless its something you've both never done and you want to explore together.
I'm just going to come out and say it, I miss the old outro music.
Same! It always gets me hyped 😂❤
Yes!!!
Definitely Old outro music is better 👌👌👌
I told em that on the come back video. The new track is meh.
What was the old outro music called?
Finding a woman mature enough to understand the importance of constant honesty and communication is like looking for a needle in a haystack unfortunately, it's not even age related. I dated age 17-37 somehow the youngest was the most mature/communicative/confident
Ugh. These girls act like they have no agency. Sweetheart, if you don’t wanna have sex with someone; put some bass in your voice, look directly in his eyes, and tell him this is NOT happening. It’s truly not that hard.
I wish I could stamp a “like” on your whole entire life!
I kid you not...
It’s so true nowadays people don’t know how to communicate, there’s more ways people just don’t know how to speak up. Depression, obligated sex, abusive relationships etc
Women need plausible deniability lol she wanted it, but had to act like she didn’t.
Direct, intentional communication is “that hard” for some people...
She makes it sound like she unconscious the entire time
Still she remembers things to the clock. "I don't remember if we drank anything, but I especially don't remember what we drank when we drank it. I had no cognizance of the situation at hand, at all, but I know that it lasted ten minutes and had this and that". Lady, please.
Drink effects experience and memory
I can’t remember certain experiences with men from last week. Alcohol makes things blurry to me
Poor communication is such a huge issue. I will admit though, a lot of it lies in female passivity.
Among me and my friends we'd often talk about how we feel *uncomfortable* actually voicing our real thoughts or intentions, especially when put into situations of action. (not just sexual, but any time we are put in a place where we need to make choices and act on them, or respond to someone's actions.)
We don't want to come off as rude, and there's a real visceral fear in how the other person will react.
We'd rather play emotional footsie than face the very real reality that someone is going to be upset, and that its probably going to be us in the end.
Like, at first I didn't understand it, because like DUH you should be honest with your feelings, and prevent misunderstandings. Sometimes I'd actually be upset at my friends for being so...well...I thought it was just plain stupidity and cowardice.
Then I was stalked for two years and sexually assualted, and guess what? Emotional Footsie time. I was so afraid of upsetting this guy who had hurt me, (not that I was afraid he'd hurt me again, or do anything) because I prioritized HIS emotions and well being over my own...but yet couldn't ignore or forget the very real hurt that was done to me. I can't explain why, I just did. I hated it, but couldn't bring myself to summon the strength to even TEXT him to leave me the F alone. Instead I validated him and his feelings, told him he had a chance, then internalized my own pain and self-hatred. Then, later on, in the next few relationships I found myself doing it again to avoid things like breakups, difficult discussions, etc. It led to each relationship eventually becoming toxic, (One ended and we became good friends, and the Other ended...and it was not good.)
However in my most recent (and happiest) relationship, I've really really. really tried to be communicative, even though sometimes it means a beer and a good cry on the porch. Though I think a big part of why I'm better at communicating my feelings now is that I'm in a position of power in the relationship in that I'm the "experienced" one, and he's not. (same age) So while He's flying blind (poor guy) I can lean on and leverage old experiences to give me support and confidence. Of course this was especially helpful in the very beginning since we both were adamant about not forcing each other to do anything, and HAD to be communicative to make sure that both I, (someone who had just left a bad relationship) and He, (someone who had never even kissed a girl) were both ready to hit each cornerstone in the relationship. And be open with our feelings and any other issues to come along in our lives.
And trust me.
Communication is 100% why we are 4 years along, happy, stable, and so much healthier than any relationship I've had in the past (even the good ones).
So yeah. The girl is definitely the wrong one in this regard because *she* consented to the action knowing that she wasn't ready, and didn't put a stop to the action. He may have put pressure on her by kissing, but in the video she only says that she wasn't okay with sex...not that she wasn't okay with him kissing her. So she could have totally said "Lets just stop here, with just some slight fooling around, no sex. Period". Instead she decided to consent anyway, and went through with it. Her vocal consent is the nail in the coffin of responsibility.
Despite being in the wrong, I do sympathize with her position though. Been there, done that, felt awful, I relate. But it IS the responsibiltity of both parties to either consent or revoke consent, and she decided to consent.
Comments like this are why I enjoy scrolling through the comments section. It’s well written, informative, and sincere. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences
well put man , different insight
@@ronnielodge7032 And thank you for taking the time to read it. A lot of people don't like windbags like me lol
So you got a beta. Good for you.
@@blah8934 Beta? No lol. He just wasn't interested in Dating.
Hell I asked him out (coincidentally the summer before I was assualted) and he turned me down. He was honest anyway. He was like "I'm just not interested in dating, right now. But if we DID go out, we couldn't have sex." (this was about 10 years ago)
Then he just walked away leaving me dumbfounded... and a little bit insulted. Slightly confused on whether it was a yes or no. *shrug*
Lets just say he admits that a year later or so he wanted to kill his younger self for saying that. A lot of that was him being part of a fairly religious family, and he was considering going into the religious life, plus being irritated with all the stupid teenage dating drama that filled our collective friend group. Lets just say he doesn't view religion the same anymore, and adults *tend* to be more mature lol.
I ended up asking him out again when I saw a different girl eyeing him up and realized I was not going to be happy if I didn't give it a second chance. Glad I did!
To be Honest, He's the "dom" in that he does take charge in the relationship and makes decisions when I don't want to (Classic girlfriend delimma "what do you want to eat?") But I had the "teacher" role, in that I had experience (sexual and romantic) and he didn't.
He's always been a close friend, and was one of the people who believed me when I told my guy friends what happened (many of my other guys friends thought I was faking it, until they talked to the dude himself. Whatever he told them convinced them that he did actually do it. So they ended up being my friends again.)
Caring about someone's wellbeing, and their consent does not make them a beta. It makes them empathetic, especially when they know they're dealing with someone with unresolved trauma. Plus a lot of the back and forth was me not wanting to make him feel like he had to "perform" for me (because I was trying to be aware and sensitive to his lack of experience), and Him not wanting to become part of a statistic.
After about a year or so (especially after we moved in together, we had settled into a nice smooth dynamic.
I deal with his aunt (adoptive mom) and He kills spiders. :)
Bruv I still ask MY WIFE if she's ok during sex. You never know what's going on in people's heads...
This is very normal and you are cool.
@Doge Boi Wish I was 12 again
@Doge Boi nigga I'll give you the business and have you asking for more. Watch your mouth ....boy.
@Doge Boi You seem like quite an unpleasant person man. Hope everything is okay. It's the dudes wife, it's none of your business.
Just cause you ask doesn't mean that they'll be honest
The absolute difference in how they remember the same event is wild
The way they perceived it was the weirdest and crazy
Qwerty Bastard oh Craig mistakes were made 💀
Women in comments: communication is key!!!
Also women: dont ask if you should kiss me just do it!
Dont u need a written concent form for that these days :P
It annoys me when I hear women talk like that. Even as a woman myself. They want men to assume things. Like, no bitch. Talk!
Also women: R@pe!
I read that a LOT from women, but when you do it, YOU are the problem... WHA?!
Woman: I wanted s*x with you, didn't you get all the hints???
Guy: You only said you liked to be near me, and thought you weren't ready yet!!
Woman: TSS, men with their big talks!!
So... we gonna talk or f**k? If the latter, please at least talk to me by saying it!
Glad not all women are that complicated.... too bad i never meet the smarter women XD
Facts 😂
“In reality, they were operating in a different reality” that’s some powerful stuff. Interesting, I never thought it about that way but that it true. Our perception is our reality and we always perceive things differently.
“I thought we were seeing each other”
Me: GIRL WTF 😂😂😂
This is also a thing that happens when girls call rape. When they both felt in the moment is completely different. But if she told police and he denied it would be another story about “ My rapist is walking around freely”.
I was in this situation before... Girl came into my house... We watched TV, Laughed, Kissed a little bit... She asked for the time because we were headed to another event in an hour.. She said "Oh we have time then" gets up and walks to the bathroom... After a few minutes I found out that she wasn't in the bathroom but took off her clothes and was laying down in my bed... I said "what are you doing in here?" as she pulled me onto the bed...3 months later she said that I "pressured her into having sex that night"... She went on to say I really really wanted to have sex with you! But It was too soon in the relationship. She didn't want to give me the wrong message.. But she couldn't control herself by how strongly I turned her on in a private setting... I was so confused!
I'm sorry to hear that, that's bizarre and confusing. Was she joking?
wtf?? She wildin
How she gonna take a piss, get bucket naked in my bed yet "I pressured" her. She full-blown crazy
what a child!
Very bizarre!
“I thought we were seeing each other” Preach: 👁 👄 👁
that woman sucks, he needs to run away from her. Then again she has a smoking hot bod
"I thought we were seeing each other." Also her: "I cut him off."
That might be why I initiate most conversations because I AM communicative.
Literally had a girl say, "I love that you asked me that." Before doing something with her.
And she receptively told me she was glad we talked a lot about the things we did.
Communication goes a long way.
The issue I end up having is it not being reciprocated 100%.
I'll be honest, I don't always want to lead things.
Even though I've been seen by many a person as a Leader.
But to me, I want to see a partner especially lead things and ask me things because it makes me feel better too. And maybe the issue is that I don't want to come off needy, so I don't communicate that.
So yeah, even when you communicate well, you're still going to make mistakes and assume other people will just reciprocate/treat you the way you treat them.
When I need to just communicate, "Hey, could you ask me if I'm comfortable with things and ask for consent more too? It'll make me feel better as a result."
Because I already do it, I assume they will reciprocate, which isn't necessarily always true.
I know I'm doing something right, or else they wouldn't initiate or be receptive to me sexually. And I'm super nervous about initiating without proper consent.
Fellas if you’re dealing with a girl like this, who doesn’t know ANYTHING just leave. The WAP isn’t worth potential jail time because she’s unsure.
Facts
👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿
And what's your message to the women dealing with men like this?
alagalag if you say “no” to a man, and instead of taking a step back he tries to initiate sex again in a matter of minutes, just leave.
Even if in a certain instance you ended up changing your mind, a man not stopping when you say no is a red flag.
even women that "are sure" can turn around and accuse you of rape lol
YESSSSS THEY’RE BACK
ITS SHOWTIME
🙌🏿
big showtimeeeee
I respect how honest preach was about being held back a year: that isn't an easy thing to admit!
When you find success you look at all your past failures with a sense of levity.
Maybe for you. It's not a big deal to him.
I don't mean to throw shade, but you have to be a kid to care about being held back a year.
I'm a grown ass man, do you think I give a fuck that I was held back a year? Or if someone was held back a year?
Hell no. That's some kid shit.
There is a reason he said it so nonchalantly, shit isn't important.
Your mom doesn't remember you stayed back a year in school, I got you. My mom doesn't remember my birthday. Happy trails.
sleeping with her didn't ruin their relationship. Her not being responsible for her own feelings and expressing them ruined their relationship. She was mad at him for not protecting her feeling when she didn't express them clearly. Men are not psychic, you need to say what you want from them or you will be disappointed! hell, you might get disappointed even if you tell them, but if you cannot express it, your chances are pretty slim.
that's why men usually ask for what they want.
poor her. always about women. lmao
Also she's confusing as hell. She didnt even know what she wanted
She’s annoying. If this is what men have to deal with dating today....ugh, I’m sorry.
Sequoyah Hilderbrand it’s this and wayyy more. This is only 1/5 of the bull
Sequoyah Hilderbrand haha, the youtube algorythm is scary, I literally had a similar experience not long ago. Except that it was with way more back and forth from her part. One day she is all lovey-dovey and the next she says she doesn’t know what she wants or feels. It’s maddening.
The title should’ve been “this is the problem with hookup culture.” Not everyone who date around have sex with people, but yeah I completely agree you guys on this issue. A lot of gray area needs to be addressed
The problem is not hook up culture. The problem is he pressured her to have sex without a condom.
@@stargazer2042 the issue is he didn’t know she didn’t want it, she literally told him let’s have sex
@@stargazer2042 you watched another Video bro .
People need to be honest and if the woman doesn't want to have sex just say it, end of story. Don't give mixed signals cuz that's what a lot of women do.
They protecc.
They attacc.
But most importantly,
Aba & Preach are bacc!
*bacc
"How to get metoo'd" the video
"you know what?.... GET RID OF HER!!!" - Patrice O'Neal
Time Ho
Goofy ho
Didn't some girl say Patrice forced her when he was only a teenager? He done time didn't he? 😞
@@angelicaangel2624 was it true?
@@angelicaangel2624 he did do some time however it was consensual, he speaks on it in one of his podcast
i hate people who say 'i dissasociate' - literally always used to excuse shitty behaviour and try to absolve themselves of responsibility
Yeah we don't really know what psychological conditions she may or may not have but I definitely agree saying "disassociate" has extreme ramifications and you can't just throw that around.
Exactly how did I do that? How did I use disassociating as an excuse for shitty behavior? And what was my shitty behavior exactly?
"I dissociated and drowned our 3 kids while you were in Iraq."
agreed. disassociation is a response to trauma. it's not when you're lying under some guy with whom you agreed to have sex and now you're second guessing your decision
Dissociate is the new depression.
Everyone claims to do it but the reality is much darker than people give it credit for.
Dissociation is “zoning out” (though thats also not accurate) under extreme stress for the mind to escape, usually caused by a pattern of trauma. For example, the sound of an abusive mother’s car may cause a child to dissociate, to escape the stress and trauma of whatever will happen once she enters that door.
Dissociation is not caused by wishy washy consent.
The issue is people get into intimacy for therapy not love or passion.
Underrated comment
Damn...truth
Very true.
They are getting intimate to feel something, at least that's what I feel. They are lonely or whatever and want to be told they are good enough and good looking and desirable.
mastshke can you blame ppl? Sex is very therapeutic!
One of the biggest peeves of me in a relationship is when my partner assumes. My last boyfriend always assumed and never asked, so when I would confront him about something and ask why did he do that, he would just say he assumed and acted accordingly. Despite many many times saying just ask or just tell me because subtlety has no place in the start of a relationship. Sadly, he just kept doing it and though I understand it can be hard to talk about some topics, i knew it was just not worth it to stick around if the trust wasn't there.
Some specifics would be helpful. But his "assuming" could just be his way of ignoring whatever you wanted, and getting whatever he wanted.
Number 1 Rule: If your partner is hesitant on having sex at all then you shouldn’t have sex. Most of the time it’s not because they don’t like you; it could be an embarrassing thing to be exposed. Just let it be and wait for it. Sex shouldn’t be the only way you can show love to someone.
Drink yourself. 75% of relationshits are sex and attraction otherwise minus well just be friends.
GtfoTyvm Proof? People like you are always miserable when it comes to dating/relationships. Successful relationships and marriages aren’t built on sex. If you equate love with sex then you have an issue.
Your sex and dating life must be boring as fuck then
Good comment! 👍🏼
If your partner is hesitant on having sex cut them out of your life and ignore any future communications. They're not worth it. It's a yes or no question; if they answer maybe then it's time to go because they've just started playing games.
Interviewer: Were you two just friends or were you seeing each other?
Male: It felt like were more than friends.
Female: We were just friends.
They see each in person.
Interviewer:Were you two just friends or were you seeing each other?
Female: I think we were seeing each other.
Me: OMFG 😠😠😠
Mercurial!!!
Its because they had sex and she wanted to feel it was with someone she had a relationship with. To ease her regret
Yes, I was 1000% confused by her saying that contradictory statement.
When you can make babies, you don't have to also make sense. It's one or the other
I am the 69th person to like your comment.
Your welcome
I had a similar experience, what I learned is never engage with a girl who has low self esteem, but has sexual desires but doesnt want to acknowledge it but wants affirmation but later regrets it and tries to blame it on the other person for not "reading" her signs even though she kept switching from YES and NO ten times and finally a YES during the night. Those people have the tendency to spread lies about that night to mask their act of desperation by gaslighting their sexual partner
maybe she keeps switching because we keep pushing them...maybe thats the point here?
If you don't want to sleep with someone don't get drunk alone at your house with them and start making out with them, set better boundaries and then you won't feel conflicted about stuff like this happening
This is victim blaming. Saying it's all her fault. No sympathy or compassion for her. He got her best and went on his way happy as could be about it and she got a load of conflicting emotions and might feel used.
@@ssunfish They’re both in the wrong. The fact that she said no and he didn’t take it as an automatic signal to stop is wrong on his part. And her saying that she doesn’t know how to voice her sexual desires is a red flag.
The guy is basically setting himself up. This could lead to a charge against him.
Yeah, he's screwed. Again
Probably why he seemed so nervous the entire time.
She said she told him they was gonna have sex. She never said she said no or stop.
jenf that’s the problem she shouldn’t have said yes saying no should be obvious so the other person no.
@@jenf836 Ok...but if she changes her mind and says she felt he assaulted her he's in real danger of losing the case.
Now say he wins, his names on record hers is not. Being fired from his job and having trouble getting another is also likely due to the controversy. In no way...save not going to jail is he the winner in a situation like that.
Words cannot express how glad I am to see you guys back as a duo!
There’s no Preach without Aba.
There’s no Aba without Preach.
✊🏽✊🏾
Communication is the easy solution, but Society thrives on people not communicating effectively, but deeply romanticizes unrealistic automatic chemistry, so it makes everyone believe stuff should go his/her way without any effort
It's women who enforce this though. Men want to communicate but when we do its a "turn off"
Communication is such a key element, I’m at the point where I’m able to do so, but back in the day my ex wouldn’t do that and broke up with me, because I didn’t get that she wanted to sleep with me. I think it is essential to talk about your emotions because its just letting the other person in on your feelings which gives a deeper sense of connection and bond.
Bottom line: communication is 🔑🔑🔑
Triple key !
@Sierra Bradley 🔐🔑🗝
Almost felt like she was putting off the whole "he took advantage of me" vibe which is bs. I've seen it before. If you both were there, drinking, in the moment, don't come off with that bs later. You went with it, that's on you. Everybody makes choices and has to be held accountable. If you regret it later then you do, but you chose to do it so blames on you as much as anyone. Really feel like dude dodged a crazy bullet by it ending without serious drama over that night, and also future drama. She's trouble
She hasn't accused him of rape because she knows she made a decision to 'go with it' despite her (unspoken) misgivings. He did take advantage of her inarticulacy and hopefully she'll learn to be a whole lot more assertive in future.
bukomafriq I seen this before with women but with less serious situations. In this case, she was being recorded. She didn’t want to be come off as a slut. So she said some key words with “idk what happened” tone. She said all this shit without a single concern for the other guy’s reputation. She’s a child
bukomafriq the guy is at fault too cause he should have left the situation. He should have known better. Pussy is not worth prison time
bukomafriq he didn’t take advantage of her they both misconstrued that whole engagement
Reanimated Jesus he should’ve dipped at the first instance of shakiness on her part but as guys it’s not the first time we’ve had girls move that way but in their heads wants you to pursue and when you don’t you get labeled a chump. That’s what gets most guys in trouble they want to be respected sexually but when a woman is not clear it is honestly best to just avoid her.
This is a great example of why emotional maturity and intellectual honesty is so important. It allows us to call out the red flags in real time, instead of the replay.
Amen! As always, right on point. When I’m doubt. Play it safe, guys. No point in risking anything just for a mediocre notch on your belt.
Guy: "It totally makes sense when you explain the whole thing."
Dang, look at that, communicating what you want or don't want actually works! Life hacks, amirite?
efficient communicating should be a topic in schools. It's astonishing how many people I've met who just can't form a coherent sentence to describe their feelings or what they really want to express, without that embellished wishy washy bla bla. Just get to the point damn it! :D
fact: when you are remembering something, you remember it from the last time you remembered it, not from the memory of what actually happened. so it’s naturally altered 🤷🏻♀️
"I thought we were like seeing each other"
She just refuted the other 5min of the video
Invite a guy over for drinks then take him up to your room... 10/10 guys in that situation are thinking "time to bang" lol.
Yeah, a good boundary for the uncertain girl would be the bedroom door.
@@rationalthought9979 No, the apt door.