being with a DA is like having a friend with benefits, if you want actual intimacy, vulnerabity, connection, your friend will likely run away if that's not what they are comfortable with or wanting. DAs want all that love and closeness, but their fears are stronger than their desires, and they don't know how to do something that was not modeled to them by their parents/caretakers.
Six year situationship over here. He's currently monkey branched to his baby mama. They were together for nearly 20 years. 😬 I feel foolish about believing and hoping the outcome would be different for me. But at least I'm better able to spot avoidant behaviors now in prospective dates thanks in large part to Coach Ryan.
Just had this experience straight after him meeting my friends, which I rarely allow happen unless I think the relationship has potential. Massive love bombing coming from him. Then a sudden flip with a crappy excuse. I can’t believe someone of that age can be so un-evolved emotionally and selfish. It is bitterly painful being on the receiving end of it. I suppose it’s a lucky, if not very painful, escape in the long run.
After 6 months of dating she surprised me with a key to her apartment so I could let myself in. Then a week later told me to throw it away and said her life was too crazy to be in a relationship. Then a month later started seeing someone new. I still think about her a lot a year later and wish I could wipe her from my memory.
She told me “you make my soul smile and I love you. I hope you kiss me the same way when we grow old together. Can we be official? Like bf/gf?” The night before she ghosted
6 months of bliss, romance and feeling like the most important girl in the world to him, and then one day, he ends it suddenly and breaks my heart. 4 months later and I’m still incredibly crushed.
And of course I got the standard dismissal excuses: “It’s not you it’s me,” “I just feel like it’s not getting deeper,” blah blah blah and then the knife to my heart- “You’ll get over it.”
This makes me so sad. I have been ghosted now for the umpteenth time and I'm blocking again...when will I learn? This is so painful and I cannot stay even friends with this man. It is readily apparent. 😢
They don't always leave in the discard. There's a lot of damage done by staying with walls up and refusal to work on things. 😢 Crazy making gaslighting towards the partner who want an equal relationship.
Exactly the same thing happened to me and boy is it painful as frick. He told me that i was the best thing that ever happened to him, that i was like a diamond in his life blah blah and fast forward to "i am not ready for a relationship" and and "i am too selfish for you". He decided he wasn't ready for a relationship after 3 years together😂 i was in total shock and i cannot express how much it hurt and still hurts my heart. But thank you to Coach Ryan because his videos really helped me feel better and understand what the hell.just happened to me.
Just experienced a discard from a DA after a six month relationship. Really trying to bounce back after the love bomb and the realization of them never loving me at all.
Happened to me. I was so stupid I got discarded twice. It was the best thing that’s ever happened to me..but now I know it’s the worst. Only cares about her and her feelings. Glad I found these vids. Makes sense of everything..
I got discarded twice as well. It hurts - he love bombed me and stayed in the honeymoon stage for a couple of years until a few months ago and then discarded. The second time they said they changed and did some work on themselves - they didn’t. It’s true they don’t care about your feelings and break your heart with no remorse. I’m sure they’ve monkey-branched to someone else before the discard action.
I wasn’t dreaming about her right after the discard, but I am now. I still want the future we talked about, but I have to stay strong and pray she heals and continue to try and heal myself.
Thanks for these videos, I was 90% over her and these videos helped push me to 99% over her. I received the same pattern. Got love bombed (she even brought up remembering a venue for a potential wedding one day) then thrown in the trash one week later. Looking back at the whole relationship, she gave little hints like she knew she was going to discard one day like she has in the past. I'm empathetic but it's still ridiculous behavior. Honestly just want an apology at this point but know I'm never going to get one.
This cuts deep. This just happened to me. Two months of it and then dropped overnight like nothing. I really believed it all and feel so stupid now. I accepted the break up and didn't beg or try to convince, but think I was too kind and forgiving when she reached out a week later, which I regret, because I think I absolved her feelings of guilt in doing so. I hope she recognises how wrong it was.
What is your advice when someone is love bombing? I suggest that you reject that person before getting attached because rejection breeds obsession. They will come after you because than you become a challenge
Sometimes premarital sex is the reason for one partner to run away. If you believe it is a serious sin, once your passion overcomes you, it's a problem. Once you open that door, the other partner expects it. They waited a long time until you were ready, and now the relationship has reached a new level, from their perspective. But for the person of faith, it can be unsustainable as an ongoing sinful lifestyle. It's important to communicate that, instead of running away.
@elainejones5473 ^^^ This. Sex is sacred. Having sex outside of marriage falsely mimics the bond of a loving couple that joins together to sacrifice their desires for the benefit of the children they raise. It overrides any incompatibilities and forces people to commit to a shared life while building genuine love in the image of God loving His people. That’s why it’s called making love. In any other context, it is a recipe for an emotional disaster and long running mental trauma. When one or both people have no genuine interest in a sacred bond of commitment that involves having and raising children, who are flesh of their flesh, born of the union of their bodies, they exchange temporary physical pleasure for the hollowing out of their souls.
Talked about marriage then act like I am a strange.. incredible
They are all narcissists plain and simple.
NO THEY ARE NOT. NARCS DO THE CRUEL TREATMENT FOR FUN. DAS DO IT OUT OF FEAR. STILL NO EXCUSE
You have to really learn to notice this type of person early and let them go before they let you go
being with a DA is like having a friend with benefits, if you want actual intimacy, vulnerabity, connection, your friend will likely run away if that's not what they are comfortable with or wanting. DAs want all that love and closeness, but their fears are stronger than their desires, and they don't know how to do something that was not modeled to them by their parents/caretakers.
Wish I’d found these videos years ago. I’ve wasted 5 years of on/off behaviour. All making sense now. He’ll never change.
Six year situationship over here. He's currently monkey branched to his baby mama. They were together for nearly 20 years. 😬 I feel foolish about believing and hoping the outcome would be different for me. But at least I'm better able to spot avoidant behaviors now in prospective dates thanks in large part to Coach Ryan.
Just had this experience straight after him meeting my friends, which I rarely allow happen unless I think the relationship has potential. Massive love bombing coming from him. Then a sudden flip with a crappy excuse. I can’t believe someone of that age can be so un-evolved emotionally and selfish. It is bitterly painful being on the receiving end of it. I suppose it’s a lucky, if not very painful, escape in the long run.
It most definitely, definitely is a lucky escape, you've just dodged worse heartbreak in the future
This happened to me, met my friends and I never let anyone get there in my life.
After 6 months of dating she surprised me with a key to her apartment so I could let myself in. Then a week later told me to throw it away and said her life was too crazy to be in a relationship. Then a month later started seeing someone new. I still think about her a lot a year later and wish I could wipe her from my memory.
Was told how much she loved me the night before and ghosted in the middle of the day the next day. It really sucks
She told me “you make my soul smile and I love you. I hope you kiss me the same way when we grow old together. Can we be official? Like bf/gf?” The night before she ghosted
Fuuuuuck
He held me tight and said he loves me. Four days later he blindsided and gutted me. 7 months of bliss, no warning and a sudden stop. Devastated.
Same here, 11 months. The week before she sent me a link to the engagement ring she wanted, then she discarded.
6 months of bliss, romance and feeling like the most important girl in the world to him, and then one day, he ends it suddenly and breaks my heart. 4 months later and I’m still incredibly crushed.
@@ViviSoren damn..
And of course I got the standard dismissal excuses: “It’s not you it’s me,” “I just feel like it’s not getting deeper,” blah blah blah
and then the knife to my heart-
“You’ll get over it.”
It was hell it’s so traumatic I hate these jerks
All this then all of a sudden he says he can’t reciprocate, can’t give me what I need. 🤦🏼♀️
Amen. If they want to heal, they can and will. But if they don't, they won't.
💯 🎯
This makes me so sad. I have been ghosted now for the umpteenth time and I'm blocking again...when will I learn? This is so painful and I cannot stay even friends with this man. It is readily apparent. 😢
They don't always leave in the discard. There's a lot of damage done by staying with walls up and refusal to work on things. 😢 Crazy making gaslighting towards the partner who want an equal relationship.
Was trying to have a baby and talked about where to put down roots. Now suddenly, we weren’t even in a relationship for the past two years.
Exactly the same thing happened to me and boy is it painful as frick. He told me that i was the best thing that ever happened to him, that i was like a diamond in his life blah blah and fast forward to "i am not ready for a relationship" and and "i am too selfish for you". He decided he wasn't ready for a relationship after 3 years together😂 i was in total shock and i cannot express how much it hurt and still hurts my heart. But thank you to Coach Ryan because his videos really helped me feel better and understand what the hell.just happened to me.
Just experienced a discard from a DA after a six month relationship. Really trying to bounce back after the love bomb and the realization of them never loving me at all.
This entire video just made me cry. Coach Ryan thanks for sharing.
Just had this done to me and it hurts
Happened to me. I was so stupid I got discarded twice. It was the best thing that’s ever happened to me..but now I know it’s the worst. Only cares about her and her feelings. Glad I found these vids. Makes sense of everything..
I got discarded twice as well. It hurts - he love bombed me and stayed in the honeymoon stage for a couple of years until a few months ago and then discarded. The second time they said they changed and did some work on themselves - they didn’t. It’s true they don’t care about your feelings and break your heart with no remorse. I’m sure they’ve monkey-branched to someone else before the discard action.
I wasn’t dreaming about her right after the discard, but I am now. I still want the future we talked about, but I have to stay strong and pray she heals and continue to try and heal myself.
Thanks for these videos, I was 90% over her and these videos helped push me to 99% over her. I received the same pattern. Got love bombed (she even brought up remembering a venue for a potential wedding one day) then thrown in the trash one week later. Looking back at the whole relationship, she gave little hints like she knew she was going to discard one day like she has in the past. I'm empathetic but it's still ridiculous behavior. Honestly just want an apology at this point but know I'm never going to get one.
This cuts deep. This just happened to me. Two months of it and then dropped overnight like nothing. I really believed it all and feel so stupid now.
I accepted the break up and didn't beg or try to convince, but think I was too kind and forgiving when she reached out a week later, which I regret, because I think I absolved her feelings of guilt in doing so.
I hope she recognises how wrong it was.
4 months in and then straight outta left field GONE!
This is solid gold!
What is your advice when someone is love bombing?
I suggest that you reject that person before getting attached because rejection breeds obsession. They will come after you because than you become a challenge
Truth.😢
I've never been love bombed. Maybe that's a good thing.
Asked me to tavel to another city to introdude me to thrir best friend. 3 dsys later they ghosted me.
❤
Sometimes premarital sex is the reason for one partner to run away. If you believe it is a serious sin, once your passion overcomes you, it's a problem. Once you open that door, the other partner expects it. They waited a long time until you were ready, and now the relationship has reached a new level, from their perspective. But for the person of faith, it can be unsustainable as an ongoing sinful lifestyle. It's important to communicate that, instead of running away.
@elainejones5473
^^^
This. Sex is sacred. Having sex outside of marriage falsely mimics the bond of a loving couple that joins together to sacrifice their desires for the benefit of the children they raise. It overrides any incompatibilities and forces people to commit to a shared life while building genuine love in the image of God loving His people. That’s why it’s called making love. In any other context, it is a recipe for an emotional disaster and long running mental trauma. When one or both people have no genuine interest in a sacred bond of commitment that involves having and raising children, who are flesh of their flesh, born of the union of their bodies, they exchange temporary physical pleasure for the hollowing out of their souls.
I think they hurt themselves. His loss.
What kinds of self reflection I'd to be had/done?
Yep
Beautifully explained 🤍 thank you